Ask the Author: Huda Al-Marashi
Answered Questions (5)
Huda Al-Marashi
Hi Nari,
Thank you for your question! I have considered writing a sequel, but I think I might work on another side project to give me some distance before I come back to this story. I do appreciate knowing that there's interest though!
Thank you for your question! I have considered writing a sequel, but I think I might work on another side project to give me some distance before I come back to this story. I do appreciate knowing that there's interest though!
Huda Al-Marashi
When I set out to write First Comes Marriage, I had two goals in mind. For Muslim readers, I wanted them to see themselves in a relationship story that upheld traditional values. Although many books and movies have explored the territory of resisting one’s parents and faith to marry outside of the Muslim community, I wanted to tell the story of the more common experience, the woman who never had a relationship with a man prior to her husband; the woman who never dated the man she married; the woman who loved her spouse but didn’t know how to reconcile what she felt with what she encountered in romantic novels, television, and movies.
As a young, Muslim woman, I had no sense of what a healthy, traditional relationship looked like from within the Muslim community. Among non-Muslims, my own story felt almost embarrassing in its innocence, but in the company of other Muslims, I was convinced that my fiancé and I had sinned for sneaking hugs and kisses before our wedding!
My second goal was to dismantle stereotypes. Love stories are our most humanizing tales. They fill our hearts and linger in our imagination, and I wanted non-Muslim readers to see Muslims in a story that did not engage in a discourse about terrorism and global conflicts and to do so through the story of relationship rather than another coming-to-America narrative.
And, I also think it's time to shift the narrative around what it means meet a person and fall in love. With the advent of online dating, we are seeing a large number of people voluntarily being set up by database. They are relying on an automated ‘aunty,’ to collect their information and search for their algorithmic match. As a society, we have arrived at a cultural moment where we need more stories that reflect these different paths to coupling and the wide range of experiences people are having within their committed relationships.
As a young, Muslim woman, I had no sense of what a healthy, traditional relationship looked like from within the Muslim community. Among non-Muslims, my own story felt almost embarrassing in its innocence, but in the company of other Muslims, I was convinced that my fiancé and I had sinned for sneaking hugs and kisses before our wedding!
My second goal was to dismantle stereotypes. Love stories are our most humanizing tales. They fill our hearts and linger in our imagination, and I wanted non-Muslim readers to see Muslims in a story that did not engage in a discourse about terrorism and global conflicts and to do so through the story of relationship rather than another coming-to-America narrative.
And, I also think it's time to shift the narrative around what it means meet a person and fall in love. With the advent of online dating, we are seeing a large number of people voluntarily being set up by database. They are relying on an automated ‘aunty,’ to collect their information and search for their algorithmic match. As a society, we have arrived at a cultural moment where we need more stories that reflect these different paths to coupling and the wide range of experiences people are having within their committed relationships.
Huda Al-Marashi
Persistence is everything. It has been a long road to publishing for me. After spending close to five years drafting this memoir, I spent another five years revising and finding an agent and publisher. As hard as it can be to persevere in the face of rejection, I've found that if you stick with it, and constantly work on improving your craft through conferences and workshops, you will get there.
And, also small goals. When I started writing, I told myself, if I could write just one true thing, that tucked into the heart of one reader, then it was all worthwhile. Whenever I feel like I'm not meeting my lofty visions for myself as a writer, I revisit that small goal and try to think of that one reader, and I find that this is always enough to inspire me to get back to work!
And, also small goals. When I started writing, I told myself, if I could write just one true thing, that tucked into the heart of one reader, then it was all worthwhile. Whenever I feel like I'm not meeting my lofty visions for myself as a writer, I revisit that small goal and try to think of that one reader, and I find that this is always enough to inspire me to get back to work!
Huda Al-Marashi
The people! Truly. People who love books, whether they are writers or readers, editors or publisher, booksellers or librarians, are just the kindest, most supportive community of people I have ever met. Everyone is so committed to making the world a better place through the exchange of words and ideas, and the people I meet through my work as a writer inspire me every single day.
Huda Al-Marashi
Pen and paper! Whenever I'm feeling stuck, I get away from my desk and my computer and go off with a notebook somewhere and allow myself to just scribble on the page. There is just something about connecting pen to paper that shifts my mind into a different space. Writing on a screen, you have to go line by line, but paper let's you move around the page, make diagrams, and work in the margins.
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