R. Brian Stanfield > Quotes

“That, in brief, is the problem—criticism as the first step in a discussion stops the discussion and is therefore, generally the last step as well. It is an entirely different matter if I hear the other person first, understand what she is trying to do, then talk with her about better ways to do it.”
― R. Brian Stanfield, The Art of Focused Conversation: 100 Ways to Access Group Wisdom in the Workplace

“Traditional aboriginal teachings seem to suggest that people will always have different perceptions of what has taken place between them. The issue, then, is not so much the search for “truth” but the search for—and the honouring of—the different perspectives we all maintain.”
― R. Brian Stanfield, The Art of Focused Conversation: 100 Ways to Access Group Wisdom in the Workplace

“Our egos are often so hell-bent on getting our own ideas out that we can hardly wait for others to finish talking. What others are saying becomes a terrible interruption in what we are trying to say. In the process, we not only fail to understand what others are saying; we do not even hear them out. De Bono’s description of parallel thinking aptly describes the kind of flow that is possible in a conversation where different ideas are allowed and encouraged:”
― R. Brian Stanfield, The Art of Focused Conversation: 100 Ways to Access Group Wisdom in the Workplace

“The easiest kind of critical comment is a negative one. In a meeting or conversation, any person who wants to be involved or noticed has to say something. The easiest form of contribution is the negative. Criticism is also emotionally attractive and satisfying. When I attack an idea, I am instantly made superior to the idea or the originator of the idea. Criticism is also one of the few ways in which people who are not creative can achieve something and become influential.”
― R. Brian Stanfield, The Art of Focused Conversation: 100 Ways to Access Group Wisdom in the Workplace