Kinky Friedman > Quotes

“My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
~ Falsely yours”
― Kinky Friedman

“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.”
― Kinky Friedman

“You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.”
― Kinky Friedman

“If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.”
― Kinky Friedman

“If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...”
― Kinky Friedman

“May the God of your choice bless you.”
― Kinky Friedman

“But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.”
― Kinky Friedman, Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned

“I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Politics is the only field of human endeavor where the more experience you have, the worse you get.”
― Kinky Friedman

“There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979”
― Kinky Friedman, The Mile High Club

“Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody else got tired of her shit”
― Kinky Friedman, When the Cat's Away

“Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.”
― Kinky Friedman, A Case of Lone Star

“Happiness is a moving target.”
― Kinky Friedman, Cowboy Logic: The Wit and Wisdom of Kinky Friedman

“The best fiction is true.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Always respect your superiors, if you have any.”
― Kinky Friedman

“A fool and his money are soon elected”
― Kinky Friedman

“Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.”
― Kinky Friedman

“I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.”
― Kinky Friedman

“In April 1933, Willie's mother, Myrle, gave birth to him in a manger somewhere along the old highway between Waco & Dallas. There were angels in attendance that night. Some of them, no doubt, flying too close to the ground:”
― Kinky Friedman, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die: Musings from the Road

“why did i so passionately require the truth? because all great fiction is true”
― Kinky Friedman, Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned

“see the people on the sidewalk?...aren't you glad you're not one of them?

they're all so self-importantly going nowhere...they just have no idea of who they are or where they really belong. nothing will ever be enough for them. nothing will truly make them happy. they all think they've got to get someplace, got to meet someone, got to get to work, got to get home, got to keep that appointment. if they had a hundred million bucks, it wouldn't be enough for them. if they had four cars, they'd need more. if they had four homes, they'd need more. they are organically out of touch with their land and their tribe.”
― Kinky Friedman, Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned

“You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle.”
― Kinky Friedman

“Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today.
That's why they don't get linen”
― Kinky Friedman

“The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship”
― Kinky Friedman

“How hard can it be?”
― Kinky Friedman

“Never re-elect anybody”
― Kinky Friedman

“If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!”
― Kinky Friedman