R.A. Spratt > Quotes

“Derrick, Samantha, and Michael were all very good at avoiding being murdered. Nanny Piggins considered this to be one of the most important life skills.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“She crept around the house listening for breathing, chocolate eating, breaking porcelain, or any of the other peculiar little noises children make.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Yes, I know, because schools are cruel, illogical, and unfair. But the thing is, life is cruel, illogical, and unfair. That is why the education system works so well. If schools and teachers did a good job and inspired children and made them enthusiastic about every subject, they would only be sadly disappointed when they got out into the real world. Better to disappoint them when they're young. It is more important to learn to cope with disappointment than learn how to do long division." - Nanny Piggins”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“You can tell which ones are the artists,' Nanny Piggins said loudly, for she could be instructive when she chose to be. 'They are the useless-looking one wearing cardigans.' There were indeed several useless-looking, grouchy young men wearing cardigans among the crowd. And those who had heard Nanny Piggins's comment glared at her instead of glaring meaningfully into empty space like they normally did.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Running is a deeply unpleasant sport at the best of times, but it is particularly awful when you’re bad at it. There is so much unpleasantness at once. First, there is the shortness of breath, then the ache in the legs, then the sharp pain of the stitch, the soreness of the feet, the discomfort of the joints, and the lactic acid burn in the thighs. Eventually, some of this subsides with the increase of dizziness, delirium and sweating. Then there are the added difficulties of cross-country running – scraping through prickly bushes, standing on sharp rocks, getting jabbed by sticks and wading through icy cold streams. Altogether, it was Friday’s idea of hell.”
― R.A. Spratt, No Rules

“I think Binky has latched onto you because your emotional level is equal to his intellectual level.” said Melanie.
Friday frowned. “I’m not sure that is a compliment.
“Yes, it is.” said Ian. “She’s saying that between you, you and Binky make a well-rounded six-year-old.”
“Thanks, Ian,” said Binky with a watery smile, “I don’t understand half the things you say, but I’m glad to have a friend like you.”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“Oh yes," said Nanny Piggins. "I can regale people with anecdotes from my sordid past and think at the same time.”
― R.A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Friday looked up. She bit her lip. She didn’t want to say anything. She didn’t think she could without crying. But she had to say something. “Let’s make a pledge,” she finally blurted, “Four years from now, when we both finish school, we’ll meet right here.”
“In the airport terminal?” asked Ian, looking about. It wasn’t a very glamorous location. “To do what?”
“I don’t know…” said Friday, “Have an adventure?”
“What sort of adventure,” asked Ian, smiling.
“A mystery, of course,” said Friday.”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“Nanny Piggins lost the Vegetable Peeling, Gutter Cleaning, and Long Division Explaining tests as well. She got caught telling Michael, 'Don't bother to learn that. Long division is a waste of brain space, when you can just buy a calculator.' Which is only the truth.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“We look like bandits in a cowboy movie,’ said Ian. ‘When all this is over, we can rob a stage coach,’ said Friday.”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“Well, you’re always together,” said the Headmaster, “If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck -”
"It’s a duck, not a boyfriend,” interrupted Friday.”
― R.A. Spratt, Big Trouble

“chocolate is a dairy food; nanny piggins”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins-3 Delicious Books jam-packed into 1

“I could kiss you,’ said Ian. ‘Please do,’ said Melanie. ‘This is all very grim, and some romance would cheer me up.”
― R.A. Spratt, Danger Ahead

“Samantha, what have I told you?' demanded Mr. Green.

'That I should be seen, and not heard, until I turn eighteen. When I can say 'Good-bye, I'm returning my key' before moving out of home.' chanted Samantha.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Experience has taught me that it is always better to be well rested than to know what you are doing - Nanny Piggins”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“What is that thing Shakespeare said?” asked Melanie.
“He said a great deal of things,” said Friday. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“The lady doth protests too much.” quoted Melanie.
Mirabella gasped. “Are you saying that...Ian is a lady?”
― R.A. Spratt, Girl Detective

“Don’t worry, I’m still earthbound,’ Friday called down. ‘But I’ve found something!’ ‘What?’ asked Melanie. ‘It’s a flying fox!’ said Friday. ‘Don’t touch it!’ said Melanie. ‘It might bite you.”
― R.A. Spratt, The Plot Thickens

“People always marvel that holding a seashell to your ear replicates the sound of the sea, but in the seconds before you faint, the movement of blood rushing out of your brain replicates the sound of the sea too.”
― R.A. Spratt, Under Suspicion

“Do they ever ask pirates to come and speak to you at your school's career day?'
'No,' admitted Derek. 'They usually just have accountants come and tell us how accountancy is really exciting.'
'They let people come and lie to you?' asked Nanny Piggins. 'Your headmaster is a very immoral man.”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“I hit my head on it on my first day,’ said Friday.”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“It sounds like a terrible idea,” said Friday. “But that doesn’t mean it won’t work.”
― R.A. Spratt, Big Trouble

“This,’ said Ian. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Friday’s brain went completely empty. There were too many emotions and physical sensations to process at once. She felt off-balance. Friday reached out and clutched Ian’s shirt to make sure she stayed upright.”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“Only twenty students chose to do geography in year 12,”
― R.A. Spratt, Never Fear

“Friday grabbed a hold of him and kissed him. It was a really good kiss. She was getting the hang of kissing. When she let go, Ian looked a little bewildered. ‘I just want you to know,’ said Friday, ‘I really hate you.’ ‘I know,’ said Ian. Then he kissed her back.”
― R.A. Spratt, No Escape

“How about you don’t correct the semantics of the angry man with the frying pan?’ suggested Ian.”
― R.A. Spratt, Danger Ahead

“Oh no,’ said Melanie. Being more emotionally intuitive, she was the first to put two and two together. ‘Uncle Bernie!’ said Friday in realisation.”
― R.A. Spratt, The Plot Thickens

“Dr Higgenbottom”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Race to Power 8

“he felt much safer in a war zone than in Nanny Piggins’ front yard.”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Accidental Blast Off

“medicinal benefits of mud.”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“Shut your cake-hole’.”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan