R.L. Naquin > Quotes

“I often heard people advise breathing through the mouth to avoid a stench, but I was of the well-considered opinion if I didn’t want it in my nostrils, I sure as hell didn’t want it in my mouth.”
― R.L. Naquin, Monster in My Closet

“Nice one, Zoey. You did everything short of farting in there. Maybe if you see him again, you can tell him you have a yeast infection.”
― R.L. Naquin, Monster in My Closet

“As a little girl, I'd have given up my Barbie Dreamhouse to have a miniature purple dragon - as an adult, I didn't find it nearly as exciting.”
― R.L. Naquin, Phoenix in My Fortune

“I did not have sex with a mongoose.”
― R.L. Naquin, Unamused Muse

“As exhausted as I was, it took time for me to settle in. The curtains in my room let in too much light, the humming of bugs and the clanging of my wind chime collection were too loud. I flipped my pillow over twice. The sheet was too heavy. I was too cold without it. I got up and shut the window. The room became stuffy.
I gave up and decided to watch some television.”
― R.L. Naquin, Monster in My Closet

“Nobody quits the book club. Once you’re in the club, you’re in it forever.”
― R.L. Naquin, Unamused Muse

“I was a strong believer in the Pretty Woman philosophy on fairy tales: When the handsome prince rescues the princess, she rescues him right back.”
― R.L. Naquin, Golem in My Glovebox

“Of all the emotions people gave me, sadness was probably the hardest one to take. Fear was temporary, but sadness could last a lifetime.”
― R.L. Naquin, Golem in My Glovebox

“To be totally fair, I was impressed. It takes a lot of effort to have taste that bad.”
― R.L. Naquin, Fairies in My Fireplace

“Fighting in front of potential new clients is considered bad form in the wedding-planning industry. Or, I imagine, the delicious fruit-smoothie industry. Really, any industry. Bad form.”
― R.L. Naquin, Golem in My Glovebox

“My ballroom is full of Siamese porcupines and Portobello mushrooms. Farmland isn’t cheap.”
― R.L. Naquin, Demons in My Driveway

“You don’t say ‘gams’ anymore?” She scowled. “It’s a good word. Humans are always tossing out the good words and making up stupid ones like ‘gnarly.’ How’s a dame supposed to keep track?”
― R.L. Naquin, Fairies in My Fireplace

“Most dreams are just our brains taking out the garbage at night anyway.”
― R.L. Naquin, Fairies in My Fireplace

“Never underestimate the power of a well-timed, quality piece of chocolate.”
― R.L. Naquin, Unamused Muse

“As frightening as he looked, he was probably something cuddly or harmless, like a werebunny or a flying spaghetti monster. Things in my world never seemed to turn out as they appeared.”
― R.L. Naquin, Fairies in My Fireplace

“Everyone had a story about what made them.”
― R.L. Naquin, Demons in My Driveway

“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” I started the car and pulled away.”
― R.L. Naquin, Golem in My Glovebox

“I like pie. I like it very much. But I draw the line on mucus of any kind.”
― R.L. Naquin, Demons in My Driveway

“Boys were so dumb.”
― R.L. Naquin, Demons in My Driveway

“Your mother’s dress suits you,” he said. “I hope you kept her chili recipe.”
― R.L. Naquin, Monster in My Closet