Michael Hopkins

“Charity Begins At Home The expression "charity begins at home" is often used as a way of excusing ourselves from giving help to far-away causes when we've already got demanding issues on our own doorstep to deal with. To put it another way, it's a way of saying "we should look after number one, first and foremost." This, however, is the exact opposite of what the expression used to mean back in the day. Until recently, the word 'charity' wasn't used in the modern sense of giving or raising money to help others in need. It referred to broader notions such as kindness, love, empathy, affection, and goodwill. So the expression "charity begins at home" didn't mean help yourself before you help anyone else – it meant, if you want the world to be a better place, then you should start by being a better person yourself.”
― Michael Hopkins, The Big Book of Interesting Stuff! Volume 2

“I celebrated last Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." – Jon Stewart”
― Michael Hopkins, The Big Book of Interesting Stuff