Michael G. Thompson
Website
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Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
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27 editions
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published
1999
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Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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16 editions
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published
2001
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It's a Boy! Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18
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14 editions
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published
2007
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Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow
4 editions
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published
2012
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Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons
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4 editions
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published
2000
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The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life
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6 editions
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published
2004
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Mom, They're Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems
2 editions
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published
2002
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Finding the Heart of the Child
2 editions
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published
1993
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Raising Cain
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危ない少年たちを救え
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“Sometimes, however, unmet attachment needs have a positive impact on future relationships, if those later friendships are experienced as second chances. Eager to love and be loved, eager to meet those basic needs for caring and affiliation, children can make up for those unmet needs by being outgoing, having strong leadership qualities, and becoming devoted friends. So insecurely attached children are not doomed to a life of desperation, withdrawal, clinging, aggression, or insecurity, but they may need some additional help negotiating the complex terrain of the social world. The deeper a child’s unmet need, the harder it may be to ever have it filled later on. Expecting rejection, neglect, or smothering, the child may respond to peers with passivity, withdrawal, or aggression. Children who are afraid to assert their own needs may follow along with whatever the friend or the group says.”
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
“Adults often ask me why children in groups are so cruel. I am always astonished by the question. What about groups of adults? What about the Holocaust? What about the Serbs and Croats? How could neighbors who had lived together for hundreds of years suddenly turn on one another and begin to see each other as enemies? Why have Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland been willing to plant bombs in each other’s neighborhoods and kill people only blocks away? What about the Hutus and the Tutsis? During the genocide in Rwanda, a Hutu man beheaded his Tutsi wife and three sons in front of a crowd when the Hutu chief in his town told him that he had to kill all Tutsis. What force could make a person do something like that? Peer pressure. Peer pressure in a horrible group cause.”
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
“It seems contradictory, but if you want your child to be adventurous, you need to cuddle her more. If you want your child to always be close, you need to applaud her explorations. Some children need a little push out of the nest, but never give the shove without an unlimited free pass for coming back home. Children of all ages need to be able to regress sometimes, pretending to be younger than they really are. They need to know they can cuddle with you or check back with you any time they want. Other children will race away recklessly and need to be held in check a little. Don’t hold them back, however, without a clear message that you’re eager for them to try their wings, once they can do it a bit more safely. Otherwise, the clingy children will just cling tighter or stumble out into the world unprepared. Conversely, the reckless child will just rush out even more impulsively or catch the parent’s anxiety and become fearful.”
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
― Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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