Pamela Butchart

“Once we realised it was just Jodi’s mum wearing hair rollers and a moisturising face mask everyone stopped screaming, except for Maisie. That’s when Jodi’s mum said, “Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I must look a fright!” But Maisie wouldn’t stop screaming or believe that it was Jodi’s mum even when she rubbed the face mask off. That’s when Jodi said, “Er, Mum, what did you put in that face mask? Your face looks a bit weird.” And it DID look weird. It was red and bumpy and her eyelids were starting to get all bulgy. Then Jodi’s mum said, “Just what the lady on the TV said to put in. It’s a vegetable facemask. Why? Does it smell funny?” And I said that it DID smell a bit but that wasn’t the reason Maisie was screaming. But Jodi’s mum didn’t understand what was going on until Jodi took her over to the mirror. And that’s when we couldn’t hear Maisie screaming any more because Jodi’s mum screamed louder than I have probably ever heard anyone scream”
― Pamela Butchart, Attack of the Demon Dinner Ladies

“So I asked Granddad if he had ever seen a spy that was our age before, and he said, “No, don’t think so. But now that you mention it, that WOULD be a good disguise!” So Zach said, “Do you think a spy that was really old, like you, could make themselves look young, like us?” And Granddad said, “Definitely. Those spies can do anything.” And then Granddad stared at each one of us, and his eyes went really small, and then he said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if SHE was an old spy girl herself!” and he pointed at Jodi. So Jodi explained how she wasn’t a spy, actually, and that she was just taking all the notes to make sure we didn’t forget everything. And that it was hard because I was talking too fast. And then Granddad said, “And that’s EXACTLY what a spy would say!”
― Pamela Butchart, The Spy Who Loved School Dinners