Andy Seven

your boxing poem on Horror Sleaze Trash is fiiirrre

Casey wrote: "I am really loving your spoken word cd. I love the unique atmosphere you set with each piece. A brilliant collection!!! Guts and glitter abound! 🐌✨"

Thanks, Casey.

Harry wrote: "I've just been listening to your Trash Can School band on Soundcloud. You guys were great!"

I agree!!!

I am really loving your spoken word cd. I love the unique atmosphere you set with each piece. A brilliant collection!!! Guts and glitter abound! 🐌✨

https://twitter.com/AndySevenLtd/stat...

Harry wrote: "I've just been listening to your Trash Can School band on Soundcloud. You guys were great!"

Thanks. I've been thinking of playing again but I prefer writing. What conflicts! But thanks, keep listening.

I've just been listening to your Trash Can School band on Soundcloud. You guys were great!

Got another royalty check for my depraved books. Will be posting pics soon.

https://youtu.be/nmVcIhnvSx8

Kurt Vonnegut on How To Write A Short Story

Andy wrote: "No. Too much drama! Are Pursey and Parsons talking again?"

I thought you'd love the drama! Are they talking again? No idea.

The line-up history of Sham 69 is more complicated than The Fall.
I saw them a few years back, but without Pursey. Still, it was a pub-sized gig and was frantic as fuck.

Harry wrote: "I can't find any books about Sham 69 or Jimmy Pursey on Goodreads. D'you fancy writing one? :)"

No. Too much drama! Are Pursey and Parsons talking again?

I can't find any books about Sham 69 or Jimmy Pursey on Goodreads. D'you fancy writing one? :)

Harry wrote: "Now you've given more details, that's even more plain crazy!

A citation is a citation - how can you not cite GR if that's where something first appeared? And also not being able to mention Bookbab..."

That would make their bloody head explode!

Now you've given more details, that's even more plain crazy!

A citation is a citation - how can you not cite GR if that's where something first appeared? And also not being able to mention Bookbaby in a Bookbaby book? That's just stupid, baby.

You should call your next book Book Baby's Good Reads.

Jason wrote: "That's bizarre. There are goodreads haters but enough to effect sales?"

I think it's childish publishing politics rather than hatred. Amazon has become as bad as Apple, UMG and Disney. Unfortunately Amazon counts for most of my sales, so they're the boss. For now. :)

Harry wrote: "Andy wrote: "BookBaby has just informed they will withhold publishing my new book until I take Goodreads off the credits. They claim it compromises sales. What the hell does that mean?"

That's jus..."

Well, the message read as follows:

"Your document mentions and/or links to one or more online bookstores. Mentioning competitors or linking a website that sells eBooks, applications for devices, or audio files in any portion of the website is not allowed at our partners. This includes linking physical products to a site that also sells digital books, audio, and apps. Please submit a new file with no links or mentions of other bookstores, application stores, or audio stores. Specifically, within your manuscript, you mention Bookbaby and Goodreads. Please revise. Thank you."

This is BookBaby telling me not to mention their own company in the book, which I did, i.e. "All Andy Seven works are available on BookBaby". I'm assuming their fear is that Kindle Direct Publishing, a competitor, will ban the book, ruining any potential sales.

The part with Goodreads was a passage that said, "Some stories were previously published online at Goodreads.com". If giving these credits is cause for caution, then we're dealing with a highly thin-skinned marketplace, even nuttier than the big publishing guns. So much for the indie publishing industry.

Naturally I buckled under and made the changes, but making the revisions felt absurd. As Buk once said, "Shakespeare Never Did This".

Andy wrote: "BookBaby has just informed they will withhold publishing my new book until I take Goodreads off the credits. They claim it compromises sales. What the hell does that mean?"

That's just plain crazy!

That's bizarre. There are goodreads haters but enough to effect sales?

BookBaby has just informed they will withhold publishing my new book until I take Goodreads off the credits. They claim it compromises sales. What the hell does that mean?

Finished all the proofreading to the new book. Now it's on to the rewrites>>>Here comes the fun.

— Andy Seven (@AndySevenLtd) May 31, 2016

http://wordporn.com/author/andy-seven/

Just noticed on my BookBaby sales statement that a few more people bought Wranglers' Canyon/Crash Walker. Whoever they are you have my eternal gratitude. Enjoy reading them as I enjoyed writing them.

“Get off me, you crazy bitches!” I yelled.

“I was struggling like crazy but these gals were too tough for me. I felt my pants and long johns getting torn off with the knife until I was lying down stark naked. The girl then sat on my chest and pinched my nose until I opened my mouth gasping for air. She spat the goo into my mouth, which I choked on and finally swallowed. Then she smeared the bitter mud all over me and with a smile smeared the mud gently all over the shaft of my penis, and I got to confess I got pretty excited. Then she took some more goo and spread it all over my balls, which she rubbed very slowly over and over until I got a throbbing erection.

“The only problem was my erection didn’t look like a Johnson any more but like a tall, fuzzy cactus. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. And to make things worse the naked girls were all gone, and instead I saw eight cactus heads with tarantula legs with titties and winking cunts. They were all chanting.

“Kara byum erdim mada sungo falla”.

“They chanted that silly thing over and over again and one of the tarantula girls was drawing symbols in the sand and the chant made me laugh and giggle and I giggled even louder when I saw my jimmy and it wasn’t a jimmy any more but a green, prickly cactus. I giggled until I passed out”.

- Wranglers’ Canyon by Andy Seven
http://www.amazon.com/Wranglers-Canyo...

I stayed down on the ground and prayed for my life. As I looked up I saw a big, creepy clown looking down at me. He had a red wig with hair sticking out and pointing all over the place. His face was a powdered mess of pale white with a big, long nose and a wide, twisted smile made of greasepaint smeared across his face.

"Do you want me to chase away that darn bull, Cowboy? Maybe I will and maybe I won't", he whispered.

He then did something I'll never forget for the rest of my life. He took a large, bright red handkerchief and quickly tied it around my chest and then ran off laughing.

The bull saw me with the loud red thing on me and charged right at me, horns and wire and metal spikes coming my way while I set on a bed of broken glass bleeding.

I waited for that horned bastard to get closer and closer to me until I made my move. The kind any red-blooded American boy would make.

-Wranglers' Canyon by Andy Seven
http://www.amazon.com/Wranglers-Canyo...

I'm reading the Ernest Lehman short stories featuring J.J. Hunsecker and Sidney Falco, both from the Criterion Collection booklet that comes with the Sweet Smell of Success DVD package. If you can't afford the DVD, then seek out a copy at your local library.

Sounds really good, I've not read many westerns

WRANGLERS' CANYON will be out in 5 days, my new cowboy noir novel...a land inhabited by killer rodeo clowns...metal-limbed Desperadoes shooting oil into their joints...Peyote-smeared Nymphos driven to feverish murder in the Arizona plains...all this and more in the new Andy Seven blockbuster, Wranglers' Canyon - COMING SOON.

Halfway finished with the rewrites to my new book. Lot o' heavy lifting going on here!

Andy, Happy New Year. You are one of few that has excellent taste in books, but I'm sure you already knew that. Fuck the rest of 'em.

Meg wrote: "Andy wrote: "Okay, I appreciate the recommendation. I'll check out "Escapes", but I'll prbably check out John Cheever first. I've been putting him off for awhile. "

What Cheever are you going to r..."

I'm getting the Collected Stories and I also plan on getting the multi-CD set of actors reading his stories, which can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/John-Cheever-Au...

Okay, I appreciate the recommendation. I'll check out "Escapes", but I'll prbably check out John Cheever first. I've been putting him off for awhile.

Meg wrote: "Lurked and heard of the "defriending" incident Andy. I've been defriended too by someone and for no reason I can tell. Easy come, easy go sometimes and if it's over a review, well that's just silly."
I'm not taking it that hard, actually, because to tell you the truth I can't even remember the guy's name!

Meg wrote: "You're a jewel for reading my "sex offender diaries." Do you think I should call them "sex offender files" instead? hmmmm. Now I will read your work, Mr. Andy."
"Diary" or "journal" sounds good.

Hi.What We Talk About When We Talk About Love?PLZ Answer The Question In My Profile.

I sure am! Sorry I forgot to respond (;

Thanks for the add, Andy. I hadn't read the Goodis book you flagged. Thanks for the suggestion. Best for your writing. Have a great weekend.

Ed Lynskey
author, PELHAM FELL HERE

Feeling very Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone lately. Thankfully I don't need specs either.

Born, bred, and buttered in Huntington Beach. I've lived around Southern California all my life.

Here's the link:

http://members.nowpublic.com/np-1-722917

I don't know where the article went. Jeez!

No Way! thats the best story ever :) i wonder if that story is online? lol!