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Finding Your Way through Loneliness
Elisabeth Elliot has felt the deep pain of loneliness. In "Finding Your Way through Loneliness," Elliot gives hope to the lonely through tender reflections on God's love for us and his plans to bless us. She tackles this difficult topic with grace and faith, showing readers how to make peace with loneliness and grow through it.
200 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published October 1, 1988
247 people are currently reading
2759 people want to read
About the author
Elisabeth Elliot
171 books2,217 followersFrom the Author's Web Site: My parents were missionaries in Belgium where I was born. When I was a few months old, we came to the U.S. and lived in Germantown, not far from Philadelphia, where my father became an editor of the Sunday School Times. Some of my contemporaries may remember the publication which was used by hundreds of churches for their weekly unified Sunday School teaching materials.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
Our family continued to live in Philadelphia and then in New Jersey until I left home to attend Wheaton College. By that time, the family had increased to four brothers and one sister. My studies in classical Greek would one day enable me to work in the area of unwritten languages to develop a form of writing.
A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen fifty three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category -- a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.
Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years.
After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.
Since then, my life has been one of writing and speaking. It also included, in 1969, a marriage to Addison Leitch, professor of theology at Gordon Conwell Seminary in Massachusetts. He died in 1973. After his death I had two lodgers in my home. One of them married my daughter, the other one, Lars Gren, married me. Since then we have worked together.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 200 reviews
February 21, 2020
Excellent treatise on trusting God when you feel all alone. Short chapters, perfect for daily devotional readings. The beautiful thing about Elisabeth Elliot is that she is very comfortable in her belief system and bold in speech.
February 27, 2015
VERY STRONG 4.5 STAR RATING!
I wish there were more female Christian writers that are cut from the same cloth as Elisabeth Elliot.
She always says it like it is. She is not shy about holding to her traditional, biblical values - and she'll challenge you to do the same. She doesn't feel the need to be "politically correct" or overly accommodating in her thoughts. At times, she may even make you squirm. But you will forgive her, or at least I do because you know its coming from a place of personal experience. One knows that she's not asking you to walk where she hasn't herself walked. Plus, she just has a way about her...a way with her words that inspires respect while she's holding you to higher standards. Like a pithy, but very loving grandmother! :)
I wrote more than 5 pages of notes and quotes from this book, and this was just from my first reading. She gives you a LOT to think about on the topic of loneliness. I finished the book feeling enlightened and content.
Just SOME of the quotes that gave me food for thought:
"Turn your loneliness into solitude and your solitude into prayer."
“Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God and offering it back to him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory and to God himself.”
“God has promised to supply our needs. What we don’t have now we don’t need now.”
"Even loneliness may be a form of selfishness. One can reject friendship when it is not offered on the terms one chooses. One can reject the grace of God as Naaman the leper came perilously close to doing because it was not offered with the kind of ceremony he felt befitted his station. One can magnify his loneliness out of all proportion, as though he suffered something that is not common to man, forgetting that "this is life"- not more, not less. One can draw about himself a thick quilt of self- pity and isolate himself in other ways, but if one turns the loneliness into solitude and the solitude into prayer, there is release. "
"To walk with Him is to walk the Way of the Cross. If the cross we are asked to take up is not presented to us in the form of martyrdom, heroic action of some kind, dragons or labyrinths or even "ministry"---at least something that looks spiritual---are we to conclude that He has waived the requirement?
He never waives the requirement.
There is a pot of gold, there is a king's reward, but it comes at the end of the journey. Yet all along the way there are countless joys if only we will taste and see that the Lord is good."
I wish there were more female Christian writers that are cut from the same cloth as Elisabeth Elliot.
She always says it like it is. She is not shy about holding to her traditional, biblical values - and she'll challenge you to do the same. She doesn't feel the need to be "politically correct" or overly accommodating in her thoughts. At times, she may even make you squirm. But you will forgive her, or at least I do because you know its coming from a place of personal experience. One knows that she's not asking you to walk where she hasn't herself walked. Plus, she just has a way about her...a way with her words that inspires respect while she's holding you to higher standards. Like a pithy, but very loving grandmother! :)
I wrote more than 5 pages of notes and quotes from this book, and this was just from my first reading. She gives you a LOT to think about on the topic of loneliness. I finished the book feeling enlightened and content.
Just SOME of the quotes that gave me food for thought:
"Turn your loneliness into solitude and your solitude into prayer."
“Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God and offering it back to him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory and to God himself.”
“God has promised to supply our needs. What we don’t have now we don’t need now.”
"Even loneliness may be a form of selfishness. One can reject friendship when it is not offered on the terms one chooses. One can reject the grace of God as Naaman the leper came perilously close to doing because it was not offered with the kind of ceremony he felt befitted his station. One can magnify his loneliness out of all proportion, as though he suffered something that is not common to man, forgetting that "this is life"- not more, not less. One can draw about himself a thick quilt of self- pity and isolate himself in other ways, but if one turns the loneliness into solitude and the solitude into prayer, there is release. "
"To walk with Him is to walk the Way of the Cross. If the cross we are asked to take up is not presented to us in the form of martyrdom, heroic action of some kind, dragons or labyrinths or even "ministry"---at least something that looks spiritual---are we to conclude that He has waived the requirement?
He never waives the requirement.
There is a pot of gold, there is a king's reward, but it comes at the end of the journey. Yet all along the way there are countless joys if only we will taste and see that the Lord is good."
March 5, 2021
I really wanted to like this book more than I did.
There is some good guidance on living a full life in the midst of loneliness and committing yourself to God. I appreciated the various poetry, literature, and hymn references - these were my favorite parts.
I think as someone who has already spent many years in gifting loneliness to God, and is still struggling with it, there was not a lot here that brought me comfort.
Things that have helped me recently:
1) getting out of a "waiting" mindset - perpetually waiting or expecting something to happen can be really harmful
2) embracing stoicism and existentialism from a Christian perspective (i.e. reading Kierkegaard, Seneca)
3) understanding the role of free will in the world, free will which God gives to all people and which He often allows to run its course (good or bad)
4) remembering Christ's own life of suffering, which Elliot does talk about (a highlight of the book)
Lastly I was personally a bit troubled by her views on dating...according to her, women should wait not seek, arranged marriages are better (?!). I lean conservative myself, but I don't think this is healthy advice. This is not a book on dating, but just a heads up in case you are giving it to teenagers.
There is some good guidance on living a full life in the midst of loneliness and committing yourself to God. I appreciated the various poetry, literature, and hymn references - these were my favorite parts.
I think as someone who has already spent many years in gifting loneliness to God, and is still struggling with it, there was not a lot here that brought me comfort.
Things that have helped me recently:
1) getting out of a "waiting" mindset - perpetually waiting or expecting something to happen can be really harmful
2) embracing stoicism and existentialism from a Christian perspective (i.e. reading Kierkegaard, Seneca)
3) understanding the role of free will in the world, free will which God gives to all people and which He often allows to run its course (good or bad)
4) remembering Christ's own life of suffering, which Elliot does talk about (a highlight of the book)
Lastly I was personally a bit troubled by her views on dating...according to her, women should wait not seek, arranged marriages are better (?!). I lean conservative myself, but I don't think this is healthy advice. This is not a book on dating, but just a heads up in case you are giving it to teenagers.
May 3, 2022
The version of this book that I read was called “Finding Your Way through Loneliness” Idk if that makes a difference🧍🏻♀️
This was easily one of the best books I’ve read in life. Elisabeth Elliot is gifted with words and wisdom in a way few women can claim. This book had me weeping and repenting at every page turn. I’ll just plug this book with a few quotes and leave it at that:
“In awful and surprising truth, we are the objects of His love. You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you do lightly invoked, the “lord of terrible aspect,” if present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comforts of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist’s love got his work and despotic as a man’s love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father’s love got a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes.”
“”Not for thy harms.” Like a skilled surgeon, God may have to hurt us, but He will never harm us. His object is wholeness.”
“Is it not legitimate, then, to think of loneliness as material for sacrifice? What I lay on the altar of consecration is nothing more and nothing less than what I have at this moment, whatever I find in my life now of work and prayer, joys and sufferings.”
This was easily one of the best books I’ve read in life. Elisabeth Elliot is gifted with words and wisdom in a way few women can claim. This book had me weeping and repenting at every page turn. I’ll just plug this book with a few quotes and leave it at that:
“In awful and surprising truth, we are the objects of His love. You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you do lightly invoked, the “lord of terrible aspect,” if present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comforts of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist’s love got his work and despotic as a man’s love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father’s love got a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes.”
“”Not for thy harms.” Like a skilled surgeon, God may have to hurt us, but He will never harm us. His object is wholeness.”
“Is it not legitimate, then, to think of loneliness as material for sacrifice? What I lay on the altar of consecration is nothing more and nothing less than what I have at this moment, whatever I find in my life now of work and prayer, joys and sufferings.”
March 20, 2018
We all become lonely at some point in our lives. It's a painful journey wandering through the wilderness. The author points the reader to God who satisfies all our needs. She reminds us to turn our loneliness into solitude and our solitude into prayer.
July 28, 2024
Even better the second time! I will be returning to this one at least once a year!
-
I would highly recommend this book to anyone! quotes that deeply encouraged me as a read:
“A loving purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.”
“God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”
“There are many things that God does not fix precisely because He loves us.”
“The heart which has no agenda but Gods is the heart at leisure from itself. It’s emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer.”
“Waiting on God is an act of faith - the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust in Him.”
-
I would highly recommend this book to anyone! quotes that deeply encouraged me as a read:
“A loving purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.”
“God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”
“There are many things that God does not fix precisely because He loves us.”
“The heart which has no agenda but Gods is the heart at leisure from itself. It’s emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer.”
“Waiting on God is an act of faith - the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust in Him.”
January 6, 2013
I did not know that Elisabeth Elliot was married only two years to husband number one before he was killed and four years to husband number two before he died of cancer. The book shows she had a deep love for all three of her husbands. My takeaway from this book is that many people marry thinking that a spouse will fill their every need. Some needs can only be filled by God. Many married people are among the most lonely.
February 10, 2024
So good. Even though I wouldn't label myself as lonely per se, this book was very helpful to me in showing what I should and can do with disappointment and suffering. Everything I am and everything I have must be offered back to God, including my pain; even suffering is an acceptable oblation. God's presence is often more keenly felt in the wilderness than it is in the land flowing with milk and honey. The wilderness is where God shapes us into the image of Christ and prepares us for further kingdom service. I actually found this book to be a more helpful treatment on suffering than Suffering is Never for Nothing. I think this will probably be one of the most impactful books for me this year.
September 22, 2024
"’It's OK, Bet,’ she said quietly. ‘It’ll be OK.’
She did not need to explain to me what she meant. She knew I understood. We believe the same things — things like ‘All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well!’ But I needed to hear her say it. I needed to have the Word made flesh for me in her voice.” (135-136)
This book, in Elisabeth Elliot’s voice, was the Word made flesh for me and countless others I’m sure. Somehow both a sobering and incredibly hopeful reminder that we all encounter loneliness throughout life, even in the midst of good relationships; and a compassionate, wise instruction to offer that loneliness, along with everything else, as a sacrifice to God. Definitely worth rereading many times in the future.
She did not need to explain to me what she meant. She knew I understood. We believe the same things — things like ‘All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well!’ But I needed to hear her say it. I needed to have the Word made flesh for me in her voice.” (135-136)
This book, in Elisabeth Elliot’s voice, was the Word made flesh for me and countless others I’m sure. Somehow both a sobering and incredibly hopeful reminder that we all encounter loneliness throughout life, even in the midst of good relationships; and a compassionate, wise instruction to offer that loneliness, along with everything else, as a sacrifice to God. Definitely worth rereading many times in the future.
December 1, 2023
Timeless gold, as per usual with anything by Elizabeth Elliott. Will be coming back to reference this one no doubt.
“For me she stood as irrefutable proof that the answer to loneliness is love — not our finding someone to love us, but our surrendering to the God who has always loved us with an everlasting love. Loving Him is then expressed in a happy and full-hearted pouring out of ourselves in love to others.”
“For me she stood as irrefutable proof that the answer to loneliness is love — not our finding someone to love us, but our surrendering to the God who has always loved us with an everlasting love. Loving Him is then expressed in a happy and full-hearted pouring out of ourselves in love to others.”
December 2, 2023
WOW! Best book I’ve read from Elizabeth Elliot! And that’s saying a lot.
November 11, 2009
Elizabeth Elliot vorbeste despre singurate sub toate formele ei si ne deschide portite spre insemnatatea ei, dar si a suferintei, atunci cind le acceptam in viata noastra si ne intoarcem spre Dumnezeu cu intrebarile, durerea, golul lasat de acestea in suflet. Dezveleste inima si viata ei si a altor multi oameni si imparte din framintarile prin care ei toti au trecut in Valea Plingerii, aratindu'ne si invatindu'ne cum se poate aceasta transforma intr'un loc plin de izvoare.
Pentru ca aceasta carte a ajuns la mine intr'un timp foarte propice din mai multe puncte de vedere si mi'a vorbit foarte mult, am selectat multe paragrafe care m'au atins si de aceea am ales sa fie ascunse sub semnul de 'spoiler'.
Nu suntem condamnati la o lipsa totala de sens. Un scop plin de dragoste se afla in spatele tuturor lucrurilor, o mare tandrete, chiar si in inversunare.
* am ales sa'mi pun aici paragraful asta pentru ca de multe ori am spus sau am auzit spunindu'se ca modul in care lucreaza Dumnezeu e unul "ciudat" si nu, nu insemna "tainic, misterios". pentru aducere aminte.
Caile lui Dumnezeu sunt tainice, chiar misterioase. Totusi El ne spune sa nu credem despre ele ca sunt ciudate. Ispitele prin care trecem sunt comune oamenilor, credinciosia Lui este constanta.
Suferinta este o experineta a pustiei. Ne simtim singuri si neajutorati, despartiti si isolati de ceilalti, care nu pot intelege cum suferim. Tinjim ca cineva sa ne sara in ajutor, sa ne "insoteasca", sa ne scoata din pustiu.
Da, Cineva o va face. Cineva va veni negresit in ajutorul nostru. Ne va insoti, daca Il vom lasa sa ne insoteasca. Dar ne va scoate din pustiu? Nu neaparat! Fiindca pustiul face parte din umanitatea noastra.
Singuratatea este un dar.
* pe asta inca ma chinui sa il inteleg. intr'un fel.
Cind vorbesc despre 'darul' vaduviei, nu vreau sa spun ca Dumnezeu ne'a facut vaduve. El nu i'a inspirat pe indienii Auca sa'si arunce sulitele, avind grija apoi ca sa nu greseasca tinta. El nu'i imbolnaveste pe oameni de cancer, nu face ca un bebelus sa se nasca cu malformatii, nici nu'i convinge pe soti si sotii sa divorteze.
Singuratatea este un mod de "a muri" pe care cei mai multi dintre noi ajung sa il cunoasca mai devreme sau mai tirziu. Departe de a fi ceva "rau" sau un obstacol in cresterea noastra spirituala, ea poate fi mijlocul de realizare a "infloririi" spirituale pina atunci incatusate. Frumusetea trandafirului salbatic in plina floare, "implinirea" lui, depinde de permanentul ciclu moarte-inviere. Moartea semintei care cade in pamint da nastere unui nou ciclu al vietii - mladita frageda de la inceput, tulpina de mai tirziu, bobocul, floarea. Floarea trebuie sa moara ca sa produca fructul. Fructul moare, astfel ca semintele sa ajunga din nou in pamint. Semintele mor si prilejuiesc un nou inceput. Nimic nu se pierde. Frunzele moarte, trupurile moarte, pierderile naturale de tot felul imbogatesc solul. In economia lui Dumnezeu, indiferent daca El face o floare sau un om, nimic nu se transforma in nimic. Pierderile sunt modalitatea Lui de realizare a cistigurilor.
* kidda of eco style too :P:D:))
Cine stie in ce se baga atunci cind decide sa-L urmeze pe Hristos si sa nu dea inapoi? Cristos, asemenea mirelui, ne ofera totul.In vechiul ceremonial de cununie (din pacate modificat acum), mirele spune: "Cu acest inel ma casatoresc cu tine, cu trupul meu te venerez si cu bunurile mele pamintesti te inzestrez." El promite tot ce este, tot ce are. "..toate lucrurile sunt ale voastre..si voi sunteti ai lui Hristos, iar Hristos este al lui Dumnezeu" (1 Corinteni 3:21,23).
Hristos ne'a dat deja totul cind S'a jerfit pe Sine. El cere totul in schimb - nu trebuie sa existe nici colturi rezervate, nici repudieri secrete, nici insistari asupra drepturilor individuale, nici clauze speciale. In vechiul ceremonial, mireasa nu promite doar sa'l ia de sot, sa'l iubeasca si sa'l pretuiasca pe mire, ci si sa'l asculte "dupa sfinta porunca a lui Dumnezeu". De ce au femeile impresia ca pot omite ascultarea?
Ascultarea face parte din povara dragostei - atit pentru ucenic, cit si pentru sotie.
M.Maritain: "inainte de a lucra pentru Dumnezeu si a lupta impotriva Diavolului, mai intai calculeaza'ti fortele; si daca te consideri suficient de bine echipat ca sa incepi, esti un nebun, fiindca turnul care trebuie construit are un pret exagerat, iar dusmanul care iti iese in intimpinare este un inger in fata caruia nu ai nici o valoare. Cauta sa te cunosti atit de bine, incit sa nu te poti contempla fara sa te infiori; atunci mai exista loc de speranta. Numai stiind ca esti obligat sa faci imposibilul si ca poti face imposibilul numai prin El, Cel care te intareste, esti pregatit pentru o sarcina care poate fi realizata numai prin cruce."
Ne este greu sa ne gindim ca e nevoie si de curaj pentru a trece prin singuratate, si aceasta pentru ca nu ne gindim la singuratate ca la o suferinta. Cu toate acestea, i se potriveste cea mai simpla definitie pe care o cunosc: sa ai ce nu vrei sau sa vrei ceea ce nu ai. Nu vrem sa fim singuri. Singuratatea decurge din faptul ca vrem ceea ce nu avem.
"Aceasta este o parte integranta a calatoriei. Chiar daca este portiunea cea mai grea, nu este decit o portiune si nu va dura tot drumul. Aminteste'ti incotro Te calauzesc. Aminteste'ti ce vei gasi la capatul calatoriei - un camin, un port si un cer."
Nu-i putem aduce ca jertfa trupul nostru decit dupa ce l'am "primit", adica dupa ce l'am acceptat cu toate frumusetile lui, cu toate imperfectiunile, limitele si potentialul lui. Trupul acesta si nu al altuia este jertfa mea. Dar nu este vorba doar despre singe, oase, tesuturi. El este locuinta "eului" - spirit, minte, inima, vointa, emotii, temperament. El trebuie adus ca jertfa din toata inima, in simplitate, fara nici un fel de retineri privitor la cit de potrivit sau nepotrivit ar fi. El este sfint, la fel cum vasele din Templu (ulcioare, lopeti, farase, mucarnite si toate celelalte, oricit de comune ar fi fost) erau sacre fiindca au fost jertfite (consacrate si puse de'o parte) pentru slujire.
Daca am dat tot ce am, mai pot jertfi timpul meu, munca mea, rugaciunile mele, posesiunile mele, lauda mea si - da - suferintele mele. Acesta este sensul tainic in care eu consider ca suferinta este un dar: nu este numai ceva ce trebuie acceptat, ci si ceva ce trebuie jertfit, la fel cum Matheson nu a venit numai cu viata lui la Hristos, ci si cu dorinta neimplinita a inimii lui.
Cind tot ce putem jertfi pare extrem de mic si cumplit de saracacios, trebuie totusi sa aducem jertfa, intr'o ascultare ca cea a vaduvei si la fel de simplu si fara prefacatorie ca un copilas care vine cu o papadie zdrobita. Copilul nu este amarit sau nemultumit de darul lui saracacios. El se bucura ca are ceva de oferit. Nu putem controla intotdeauna cantitatea si calitatea, iar ceea ce Domnul poate face din jertfa noastra, aceasta chiar nu'i treaba noastra - il priveste doar pe El, si El detine controlul asupra situatiei. El stie ce vrea sa faca. Sa lasam ca jertfa noastra sa fie de bunavoie, neconditionata si in umilinta, facuta cu deplina incredintare ca energia Lui transformatoare o poate integra in procesul atingerii scopurilor pe care le are in vedere.
Suferinta nu este nicodata inutila, ci ea poate, prin har, sa'i binecuvinteze pe altii.
Este gresit sa evaluezi astfel de lucruri prin introspectie. El a auzit si a raspuns. Atit poate fi spus. Lasa ca raspunsul sa se manifeste la vremea hotarita de El si asa cum vrea El.
dintr'o scrisoare: "Ma confrunt cu aceeasi taina chinuitoare - suferinta, durerea si lacrimile fac parte din economia lui Dumnezeu pe pamint. Adevarul acesta pur si simplu ma imbolnaveste! Nu exista crestere, nici rod fara durere. Crestinismul nu este pentru cei slabi, desi lumea ar vrea sa o credem. Este pentru cei care gasesc curajul sa se umileasca.
Preschimba'ti singuratatea in solitudine, iar solitudinea in rugaciune. Singuratatea este un pustiu, insa daca o primesti ca peun dar, daca o accepti din mina lui Dumnezeu si I-o aduci lui inapoi ca jertfa cu multumiri, ea poate deveni o carare spre sfintenie, spre glorie, spre Dumnezeu Insusi.
- Ce intelegi tu prin "agenda"? - am intrebat'o.
- Sa crezi ca exista o singura solutie si ca Dumnezeu trebuie sa'ti faciliteze acea solutie sau nimic altceva. Mintea ta este marginita, inchisa. O minte inchisa presupune o inima inchisa si o usa inchisa.
Inima care nu cunoaste decit agenda lui Dumnezeu este o inima eliberata de sine. Golul din ea este umplut de Dragoste lui Dumnezeu. Iar solitudinea ei poate fi preschimbata in rugaciune.
"Dumnezeu stie totul in materie de barci."
~ :))) si in materie de imprimante, garantez eu :)))
Asteptarea unei femei in ceea ce priveste casatoria inseamna a lasa intreaga problema in mina lui Dumnezeu. Asteptarea unui barbat inseamna a se intreba daca trebuie sa se pregateasca de casatorie.
Raspunsul la singuratatea noastra este dragostea - nu sa gasim pe cineva care sa ne iubeasca, ci sa ne predam in bratele lui Dumnezeu care ne'a iubit dintotdeauna cu o iubire vesnica. Dragostea fata de El se va exprima atunci printr'o jertfire cu bucurie si din toata inima in dragoste fata de altii.
Pentru ca aceasta carte a ajuns la mine intr'un timp foarte propice din mai multe puncte de vedere si mi'a vorbit foarte mult, am selectat multe paragrafe care m'au atins si de aceea am ales sa fie ascunse sub semnul de 'spoiler'.
Nu suntem condamnati la o lipsa totala de sens. Un scop plin de dragoste se afla in spatele tuturor lucrurilor, o mare tandrete, chiar si in inversunare.
* am ales sa'mi pun aici paragraful asta pentru ca de multe ori am spus sau am auzit spunindu'se ca modul in care lucreaza Dumnezeu e unul "ciudat" si nu, nu insemna "tainic, misterios". pentru aducere aminte.
Caile lui Dumnezeu sunt tainice, chiar misterioase. Totusi El ne spune sa nu credem despre ele ca sunt ciudate. Ispitele prin care trecem sunt comune oamenilor, credinciosia Lui este constanta.
Suferinta este o experineta a pustiei. Ne simtim singuri si neajutorati, despartiti si isolati de ceilalti, care nu pot intelege cum suferim. Tinjim ca cineva sa ne sara in ajutor, sa ne "insoteasca", sa ne scoata din pustiu.
Da, Cineva o va face. Cineva va veni negresit in ajutorul nostru. Ne va insoti, daca Il vom lasa sa ne insoteasca. Dar ne va scoate din pustiu? Nu neaparat! Fiindca pustiul face parte din umanitatea noastra.
Singuratatea este un dar.
* pe asta inca ma chinui sa il inteleg. intr'un fel.
Cind vorbesc despre 'darul' vaduviei, nu vreau sa spun ca Dumnezeu ne'a facut vaduve. El nu i'a inspirat pe indienii Auca sa'si arunce sulitele, avind grija apoi ca sa nu greseasca tinta. El nu'i imbolnaveste pe oameni de cancer, nu face ca un bebelus sa se nasca cu malformatii, nici nu'i convinge pe soti si sotii sa divorteze.
Singuratatea este un mod de "a muri" pe care cei mai multi dintre noi ajung sa il cunoasca mai devreme sau mai tirziu. Departe de a fi ceva "rau" sau un obstacol in cresterea noastra spirituala, ea poate fi mijlocul de realizare a "infloririi" spirituale pina atunci incatusate. Frumusetea trandafirului salbatic in plina floare, "implinirea" lui, depinde de permanentul ciclu moarte-inviere. Moartea semintei care cade in pamint da nastere unui nou ciclu al vietii - mladita frageda de la inceput, tulpina de mai tirziu, bobocul, floarea. Floarea trebuie sa moara ca sa produca fructul. Fructul moare, astfel ca semintele sa ajunga din nou in pamint. Semintele mor si prilejuiesc un nou inceput. Nimic nu se pierde. Frunzele moarte, trupurile moarte, pierderile naturale de tot felul imbogatesc solul. In economia lui Dumnezeu, indiferent daca El face o floare sau un om, nimic nu se transforma in nimic. Pierderile sunt modalitatea Lui de realizare a cistigurilor.
* kidda of eco style too :P:D:))
Cine stie in ce se baga atunci cind decide sa-L urmeze pe Hristos si sa nu dea inapoi? Cristos, asemenea mirelui, ne ofera totul.In vechiul ceremonial de cununie (din pacate modificat acum), mirele spune: "Cu acest inel ma casatoresc cu tine, cu trupul meu te venerez si cu bunurile mele pamintesti te inzestrez." El promite tot ce este, tot ce are. "..toate lucrurile sunt ale voastre..si voi sunteti ai lui Hristos, iar Hristos este al lui Dumnezeu" (1 Corinteni 3:21,23).
Hristos ne'a dat deja totul cind S'a jerfit pe Sine. El cere totul in schimb - nu trebuie sa existe nici colturi rezervate, nici repudieri secrete, nici insistari asupra drepturilor individuale, nici clauze speciale. In vechiul ceremonial, mireasa nu promite doar sa'l ia de sot, sa'l iubeasca si sa'l pretuiasca pe mire, ci si sa'l asculte "dupa sfinta porunca a lui Dumnezeu". De ce au femeile impresia ca pot omite ascultarea?
Ascultarea face parte din povara dragostei - atit pentru ucenic, cit si pentru sotie.
M.Maritain: "inainte de a lucra pentru Dumnezeu si a lupta impotriva Diavolului, mai intai calculeaza'ti fortele; si daca te consideri suficient de bine echipat ca sa incepi, esti un nebun, fiindca turnul care trebuie construit are un pret exagerat, iar dusmanul care iti iese in intimpinare este un inger in fata caruia nu ai nici o valoare. Cauta sa te cunosti atit de bine, incit sa nu te poti contempla fara sa te infiori; atunci mai exista loc de speranta. Numai stiind ca esti obligat sa faci imposibilul si ca poti face imposibilul numai prin El, Cel care te intareste, esti pregatit pentru o sarcina care poate fi realizata numai prin cruce."
Ne este greu sa ne gindim ca e nevoie si de curaj pentru a trece prin singuratate, si aceasta pentru ca nu ne gindim la singuratate ca la o suferinta. Cu toate acestea, i se potriveste cea mai simpla definitie pe care o cunosc: sa ai ce nu vrei sau sa vrei ceea ce nu ai. Nu vrem sa fim singuri. Singuratatea decurge din faptul ca vrem ceea ce nu avem.
"Aceasta este o parte integranta a calatoriei. Chiar daca este portiunea cea mai grea, nu este decit o portiune si nu va dura tot drumul. Aminteste'ti incotro Te calauzesc. Aminteste'ti ce vei gasi la capatul calatoriei - un camin, un port si un cer."
Nu-i putem aduce ca jertfa trupul nostru decit dupa ce l'am "primit", adica dupa ce l'am acceptat cu toate frumusetile lui, cu toate imperfectiunile, limitele si potentialul lui. Trupul acesta si nu al altuia este jertfa mea. Dar nu este vorba doar despre singe, oase, tesuturi. El este locuinta "eului" - spirit, minte, inima, vointa, emotii, temperament. El trebuie adus ca jertfa din toata inima, in simplitate, fara nici un fel de retineri privitor la cit de potrivit sau nepotrivit ar fi. El este sfint, la fel cum vasele din Templu (ulcioare, lopeti, farase, mucarnite si toate celelalte, oricit de comune ar fi fost) erau sacre fiindca au fost jertfite (consacrate si puse de'o parte) pentru slujire.
Daca am dat tot ce am, mai pot jertfi timpul meu, munca mea, rugaciunile mele, posesiunile mele, lauda mea si - da - suferintele mele. Acesta este sensul tainic in care eu consider ca suferinta este un dar: nu este numai ceva ce trebuie acceptat, ci si ceva ce trebuie jertfit, la fel cum Matheson nu a venit numai cu viata lui la Hristos, ci si cu dorinta neimplinita a inimii lui.
Cind tot ce putem jertfi pare extrem de mic si cumplit de saracacios, trebuie totusi sa aducem jertfa, intr'o ascultare ca cea a vaduvei si la fel de simplu si fara prefacatorie ca un copilas care vine cu o papadie zdrobita. Copilul nu este amarit sau nemultumit de darul lui saracacios. El se bucura ca are ceva de oferit. Nu putem controla intotdeauna cantitatea si calitatea, iar ceea ce Domnul poate face din jertfa noastra, aceasta chiar nu'i treaba noastra - il priveste doar pe El, si El detine controlul asupra situatiei. El stie ce vrea sa faca. Sa lasam ca jertfa noastra sa fie de bunavoie, neconditionata si in umilinta, facuta cu deplina incredintare ca energia Lui transformatoare o poate integra in procesul atingerii scopurilor pe care le are in vedere.
Suferinta nu este nicodata inutila, ci ea poate, prin har, sa'i binecuvinteze pe altii.
Este gresit sa evaluezi astfel de lucruri prin introspectie. El a auzit si a raspuns. Atit poate fi spus. Lasa ca raspunsul sa se manifeste la vremea hotarita de El si asa cum vrea El.
dintr'o scrisoare: "Ma confrunt cu aceeasi taina chinuitoare - suferinta, durerea si lacrimile fac parte din economia lui Dumnezeu pe pamint. Adevarul acesta pur si simplu ma imbolnaveste! Nu exista crestere, nici rod fara durere. Crestinismul nu este pentru cei slabi, desi lumea ar vrea sa o credem. Este pentru cei care gasesc curajul sa se umileasca.
Preschimba'ti singuratatea in solitudine, iar solitudinea in rugaciune. Singuratatea este un pustiu, insa daca o primesti ca peun dar, daca o accepti din mina lui Dumnezeu si I-o aduci lui inapoi ca jertfa cu multumiri, ea poate deveni o carare spre sfintenie, spre glorie, spre Dumnezeu Insusi.
- Ce intelegi tu prin "agenda"? - am intrebat'o.
- Sa crezi ca exista o singura solutie si ca Dumnezeu trebuie sa'ti faciliteze acea solutie sau nimic altceva. Mintea ta este marginita, inchisa. O minte inchisa presupune o inima inchisa si o usa inchisa.
Inima care nu cunoaste decit agenda lui Dumnezeu este o inima eliberata de sine. Golul din ea este umplut de Dragoste lui Dumnezeu. Iar solitudinea ei poate fi preschimbata in rugaciune.
"Dumnezeu stie totul in materie de barci."
~ :))) si in materie de imprimante, garantez eu :)))
Asteptarea unei femei in ceea ce priveste casatoria inseamna a lasa intreaga problema in mina lui Dumnezeu. Asteptarea unui barbat inseamna a se intreba daca trebuie sa se pregateasca de casatorie.
Raspunsul la singuratatea noastra este dragostea - nu sa gasim pe cineva care sa ne iubeasca, ci sa ne predam in bratele lui Dumnezeu care ne'a iubit dintotdeauna cu o iubire vesnica. Dragostea fata de El se va exprima atunci printr'o jertfire cu bucurie si din toata inima in dragoste fata de altii.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2024
My second time reading a book that I’m sure will be a life long favorite! While Elisabeth is ruthless in her pursuit of holiness, she exudes empathy for her fellow sufferers. Grateful for how God continues to use the faith of the saints to encourage and support those still running.
March 10, 2025
E. E. is a solid, sensible voice who knows what she's talking about. Some of her draconian statements date her and could make her voice obsolete and out of touch. But she tugs us back to concepts of surrender and fruitfulness which are relevant in all eras and which transform the wilderness of loneliness.
June 9, 2021
I have such admiration and respect for Elisabeth Elliot, and this book was just what I hoped it would be. Her accounts of her single and waiting days, being widowed (twice), and all the lessons God's taught her through those events are a very needed reminder that - no matter where we are in life - it's okay. God is there, God is working, and God has a plan. Even when we're unsure and lonely, we can trust that this moment serves a greater purpose. We may not know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. This book served as timely encouragement to keep the faith and simply focus on walking with God day by day, not being anxious or allowing loneliness to swallow us - but to offer it to God as a sacrifice and trust Him to bring blessings from it.
September 24, 2024
elisabeth elliot does it again—continually inspired by her constant servant’s perspective in all things. but she also talks about things that are so real??
if we are called to be offering our whole selves as living sacrifices, why would we not give everything to God? including our suffering, one of those sufferings being loneliness? it is not merely a “condition to be endured” but a gift to be offered. this book offered a beautiful and convicting change of perspective yet again!
if we are called to be offering our whole selves as living sacrifices, why would we not give everything to God? including our suffering, one of those sufferings being loneliness? it is not merely a “condition to be endured” but a gift to be offered. this book offered a beautiful and convicting change of perspective yet again!
November 11, 2024
4.5 stars
While it wasn’t the most engaging book, it did have good material.
While it wasn’t the most engaging book, it did have good material.
May 17, 2023
"The answer to loneliness is surrender to God."
May 28, 2025
So encouraging! Even in the stages of your life where all you have is loneliness, offer it to the Lord. He has led you where you are, He has given you this burden, so give it back to Him in full surrender and be filled with true peace and joy.
November 24, 2012
Tremendous book. Written not to tickle your ears, but to reflect His truth and demonstrate more clearly our choice every circumstance. Highly recommend. "In circumstances for which there is no final answer in the world, we have two choices: accept them as God’s wise and loving choices for our blessing (this is called faith) or resent them as reproof of His indifference, His carelessness, even His nonexistence (this is unbelief)…although as the world looks at things, we may be solo, we are not, as God looks at things, solitary instruments. We belong to an orchestra and make harmony by playing our particular part of the score on the instrument given to us…The heart which has no agenda but God’s is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer…seeing loneliness as a gift – to be received, and to be offered back to God for His use." We have this promise, “I will woo her, I will go with her into the wilderness and comfort her: there I will restore her vineyards, turning the Vale of Trouble into the Gate of Hope” Hosea 2:14-15
August 28, 2021
I first read this in my mid-20s and thought it a balm to the soul. I still relate to it similarly and appreciate her giving space to lament circumstances. At the same time, this current read felt like a splash of cold water through the fog of fractured vision, to remind us that one day we may be led to a place where we must stand utterly alone, and even that can be endured because of the vision of glory beyond.
This paragraph from the book was pretty poignant for me:
"There are many things that God does not fix precisely because He loves us. Instead of extracting us from the problem, He calls us. In our sorrow or loneliness or pain He calls – 'This is a necessary part of the journey. Even if it is the roughest part, it is only a part, and it will not last the whole long way. Remember where I am leading you. Remember what you will find at the end – a home and a haven and a heaven.' "
This paragraph from the book was pretty poignant for me:
"There are many things that God does not fix precisely because He loves us. Instead of extracting us from the problem, He calls us. In our sorrow or loneliness or pain He calls – 'This is a necessary part of the journey. Even if it is the roughest part, it is only a part, and it will not last the whole long way. Remember where I am leading you. Remember what you will find at the end – a home and a haven and a heaven.' "
November 27, 2024
Going back and forth on 4 or 5 stars, but I love reading anything by Elisabeth Elliot so I’ll go with 5. This book speaks the loneliness that ANYONE in ANY STAGE OF LIFE might experience- though some more than others. Sometimes I felt like some of the content was more about suffering/hardship than loneliness, but I still very much enjoyed this book and felt both challenged + encouraged by it. When I was halfway through this as an e-book, I went ahead and bought a physical copy of this book so I can immediately re-read and soak in some specific quotes/chapters.
December 27, 2010
Although the book addresses loneliness, I believe it speaks more to suffering and death (not just physical, but spiritual death). The content of this book kept drawing me back to believe in the God of all Love. The God who is in control; the God who is transforming my pain. I’m called back to faith, back to hope, back to Him, and who He said He really is. No longer to writhe, but to trust in pain, seeing Him create life out of death. He did it for His Son; watch Him do it in you. I am realizing as I walk with Him the kind of relationship He’s called me to—-not holding back anything. But He gave me all in His Son, so it’s an all-all exchange (60). It’s beyond me to do this. And yet, in the dying, it’s so full of grace…”first, last, and always” (63). I love how this book rehearses “distilled acts of faith and acceptance” (as Maud Monahan is quoted pg. 83). Look at Jesus—-look at how He learned obedience (92). Look at how He offered all, and now gives me something to offer, too, like a child a father has given money for which to buy a gift (95). Suffering, loneliness, death are all gifts. This is why the Gospel holds my soul's attention-—it is the reality of Jesus’ showing me God’s economy. Reversing EVERYTHING from suffering and death and rejection and shame and loss to “every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” Will I go with Him? That is the invitation of the book (112).
Favorite Quotes:
“Those who only watch and pray and try to put themselves in the place of the bereaved find it almost unendurable. Sometimes they weep uncontrollably, for their imaginations never include the grace.” pgs. 12-13
“But safety, as the Cross shows, does not exclude suffering…trust in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. We are not doomed to meaninglessness. A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.” pg. 18
“Jesus knew that His joy lay in only one direction: the will of the Father. And so does ours. […] We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him—here where it seems He is not at work, where His will seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. Here and nowhere else is the appointed place. If faith does not go to work here, it will not go to work at all. pg. 22
“The power of the Cross is not exemption from suffering but the very transformation of suffering.” pg. 26
“The coming of this transcendent authority into one’s life is bound to be an active thing, an immense disruption at times.” pg. 36
“At the Cross of Jesus our crosses are changed into gifts.” pg. 37
“My joy is becoming less dependent upon my own immediate circumstances and more attached to what He is doing.” Bonnie’s letter, pg. 45
“Deeper and deeper must be the dying, for wider and fuller is the lifetide that it is to liberate—no longer limited by the narrow range of our own being, but with endless powers of multiplying in other souls. Death must reach the very springs of our nature to set it free: it is not this thing or that thing that must go now: it is blindly, helplessly, recklessly, our very selves. A dying must come upon all that would hinder God’s working through us—all interests, all impulses, all energies that are ‘born of the flesh’—all that is merely human and apart from His Spirit.” Lilias Trotter, Parables of the Cross, pgs. 54-55
“We have been shown the way of acceptance on every page of the life of Jesus. It sprang from love and from trust. He set His face like a flint toward Jerusalem. He took up the Cross of His own will. No one could take His life from Him. He deliberately laid it down. He calls us to take up our crosses. That is a different thing from capitulation or resignation. It is a glad and voluntary YES to the conditions we meet on our journey with Him, because these are the conditions He wants us to share with Him. Events are the sacraments of the Will of God—-that is, they are visible signs of an invisible Reality. These provide the very place where we may learn to love and trust.” pg. 82
“In circumstances for which there is no final answer in the world, we have two choices: accept them as God’s wise and loving choice for our blessing (this is called faith), or resent them as proof of His indifference, His carelessness, even His non-existence (this is unbelief).” pg. 89
“When a man or woman, a boy or girl, accepts the way of loneliness for Christ’s sake, there are cosmic ramifications. That person, in a secret transaction with God, actually does something for the life of the world. This seems almost inconceivable, yet it is true, for it is one part of the mystery of suffering which has been revealed to us. […] Each time my heart in love to Christ says YES when my human nature says NO, there the Cross is taken up. There I become a little more like my Master, there I live in Him, there I participate in His work of fulfilling the Father’s will on earth.” pg. 108
“…He knows that spiritual stamina cannot develop without conflict. We must take with both hands the thing given, submissively, humbly, sometimes courageously, or even, as one friend put it, ‘defiantly’—saying to ourselves, This is part of the story, the story of the love of God for me and of my love for Him. This is acceptance in the truest sense.” pg. 114
“My theme is oblation—the offering up of ourselves, all we are, have, do, and suffer. Sacrifice means something received and something offered.” pg. 117
“The heart which has no agenda but God’s is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer.” pg. 131
“When waiting is an act of obedience it is of course an invisible one. Only the One waited on sees it for what it is, but we must resist the temptation to defend and explain to our critics, and simply go on trusting.” pg. 133
“Take it honestly to Him…He will understand…Waiting on God is an act of faith—the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust Him.” pg. 139
“Waiting is an offering and a sacrifice. We may lift up our very waiting to Him as a daily oblation, in a spirit of expectancy—like Linda’s, who asks daily only for God’s agenda. Waiting on God in this way is true faith—no agenda of one’s own, no deadlines, no demands on what God must do. Simply an open heart and open hands ready to receive that which God shall choose, and a perfect confidence that what He chooses will be better than our best.” pg. 140
Favorite Quotes:
“Those who only watch and pray and try to put themselves in the place of the bereaved find it almost unendurable. Sometimes they weep uncontrollably, for their imaginations never include the grace.” pgs. 12-13
“But safety, as the Cross shows, does not exclude suffering…trust in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. We are not doomed to meaninglessness. A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.” pg. 18
“Jesus knew that His joy lay in only one direction: the will of the Father. And so does ours. […] We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him—here where it seems He is not at work, where His will seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. Here and nowhere else is the appointed place. If faith does not go to work here, it will not go to work at all. pg. 22
“The power of the Cross is not exemption from suffering but the very transformation of suffering.” pg. 26
“The coming of this transcendent authority into one’s life is bound to be an active thing, an immense disruption at times.” pg. 36
“At the Cross of Jesus our crosses are changed into gifts.” pg. 37
“My joy is becoming less dependent upon my own immediate circumstances and more attached to what He is doing.” Bonnie’s letter, pg. 45
“Deeper and deeper must be the dying, for wider and fuller is the lifetide that it is to liberate—no longer limited by the narrow range of our own being, but with endless powers of multiplying in other souls. Death must reach the very springs of our nature to set it free: it is not this thing or that thing that must go now: it is blindly, helplessly, recklessly, our very selves. A dying must come upon all that would hinder God’s working through us—all interests, all impulses, all energies that are ‘born of the flesh’—all that is merely human and apart from His Spirit.” Lilias Trotter, Parables of the Cross, pgs. 54-55
“We have been shown the way of acceptance on every page of the life of Jesus. It sprang from love and from trust. He set His face like a flint toward Jerusalem. He took up the Cross of His own will. No one could take His life from Him. He deliberately laid it down. He calls us to take up our crosses. That is a different thing from capitulation or resignation. It is a glad and voluntary YES to the conditions we meet on our journey with Him, because these are the conditions He wants us to share with Him. Events are the sacraments of the Will of God—-that is, they are visible signs of an invisible Reality. These provide the very place where we may learn to love and trust.” pg. 82
“In circumstances for which there is no final answer in the world, we have two choices: accept them as God’s wise and loving choice for our blessing (this is called faith), or resent them as proof of His indifference, His carelessness, even His non-existence (this is unbelief).” pg. 89
“When a man or woman, a boy or girl, accepts the way of loneliness for Christ’s sake, there are cosmic ramifications. That person, in a secret transaction with God, actually does something for the life of the world. This seems almost inconceivable, yet it is true, for it is one part of the mystery of suffering which has been revealed to us. […] Each time my heart in love to Christ says YES when my human nature says NO, there the Cross is taken up. There I become a little more like my Master, there I live in Him, there I participate in His work of fulfilling the Father’s will on earth.” pg. 108
“…He knows that spiritual stamina cannot develop without conflict. We must take with both hands the thing given, submissively, humbly, sometimes courageously, or even, as one friend put it, ‘defiantly’—saying to ourselves, This is part of the story, the story of the love of God for me and of my love for Him. This is acceptance in the truest sense.” pg. 114
“My theme is oblation—the offering up of ourselves, all we are, have, do, and suffer. Sacrifice means something received and something offered.” pg. 117
“The heart which has no agenda but God’s is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God. Its solitude can be turned into prayer.” pg. 131
“When waiting is an act of obedience it is of course an invisible one. Only the One waited on sees it for what it is, but we must resist the temptation to defend and explain to our critics, and simply go on trusting.” pg. 133
“Take it honestly to Him…He will understand…Waiting on God is an act of faith—the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust Him.” pg. 139
“Waiting is an offering and a sacrifice. We may lift up our very waiting to Him as a daily oblation, in a spirit of expectancy—like Linda’s, who asks daily only for God’s agenda. Waiting on God in this way is true faith—no agenda of one’s own, no deadlines, no demands on what God must do. Simply an open heart and open hands ready to receive that which God shall choose, and a perfect confidence that what He chooses will be better than our best.” pg. 140
April 18, 2022
4.75 ⭐️
This is *almost* 5 stars for me. I gave it 4.75 stars. I love Elisabeth Elliot and her writings speak to me very deeply, but she gives the weirdest relationship advice. So the parts of the book that deal with dating relationships I can’t recommend, especially after reading about her almost toxic-sounding courtship with her first husband, Jim.
That aside, this book really was wonderful. Loneliness is part of the human experience, and there is something here for everyone— widow(er), friendless, single, separated from friends by distance— you name it, she probably addresses it in this book.
I love the idea of reframing loneliness as solitude that can be offered back to God. As a missionary on a foreign field I definitely have and continue to experience an often achingly deep loneliness. This book gave me comfort, hope, and a lot of things to think about. Certainly worth a re-read.
Some favorite quotes:
“…that love, revealed in the Cross, does not exclude but must always include suffering.”
“When all we have to offer seems pitifully small and woefully poor, we must offer it up nonetheless, in obedience like the widow’s and in the simplicity of a little child who brings a crushed dandelion to his mother. The child is not bitter and resentful at the poverty of his offering. He is happy to have something.”
“At the Cross of Jesus our crosses are changed into gifts.”
“Turn your loneliness into solitude, and your solitude into prayer. …Loneliness is a wilderness, through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.”
This is *almost* 5 stars for me. I gave it 4.75 stars. I love Elisabeth Elliot and her writings speak to me very deeply, but she gives the weirdest relationship advice. So the parts of the book that deal with dating relationships I can’t recommend, especially after reading about her almost toxic-sounding courtship with her first husband, Jim.
That aside, this book really was wonderful. Loneliness is part of the human experience, and there is something here for everyone— widow(er), friendless, single, separated from friends by distance— you name it, she probably addresses it in this book.
I love the idea of reframing loneliness as solitude that can be offered back to God. As a missionary on a foreign field I definitely have and continue to experience an often achingly deep loneliness. This book gave me comfort, hope, and a lot of things to think about. Certainly worth a re-read.
Some favorite quotes:
“…that love, revealed in the Cross, does not exclude but must always include suffering.”
“When all we have to offer seems pitifully small and woefully poor, we must offer it up nonetheless, in obedience like the widow’s and in the simplicity of a little child who brings a crushed dandelion to his mother. The child is not bitter and resentful at the poverty of his offering. He is happy to have something.”
“At the Cross of Jesus our crosses are changed into gifts.”
“Turn your loneliness into solitude, and your solitude into prayer. …Loneliness is a wilderness, through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.”
February 28, 2025
Excellent. 👏🏼 Thought-provoking, rebuking, encouraging, and life-giving. 🥹 Highly recommend. Primarily written towards widowhood and singleness, but beneficial for anyone. So so so many great paragraphs and quotes. Here’s just a few of my favorites:
“God never denies us our heart's desire except to give us something better.”
“‘If God loves me, He'll make me happy.’ Well, yes and no. Happy isn't the word, really. It's joy, a far better thing. Not sen-timent, not mere ‘feeling good,’ but something that can never be taken away.”
“Christ can be known only in the path of obedience.”
“What we don't have now we don't need now.”
“…all that I am, all that I have, all that I do, and all that I suffer have been joyfully placed at His disposal.”
“The heart which has no agenda but God's is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God.”
“Waiting patiently is almost impossible unless we also are learning at the same time to find joy in the Lord, commit everything to Him, trust Him, and be quiet.”
“Our own diminishments, in God's sovereign ordering of all things for His glory and our good, are not only the prerequisites to our own joy, but may also be the means of enriching the lives of others.”
“God never denies us our heart's desire except to give us something better.”
“‘If God loves me, He'll make me happy.’ Well, yes and no. Happy isn't the word, really. It's joy, a far better thing. Not sen-timent, not mere ‘feeling good,’ but something that can never be taken away.”
“Christ can be known only in the path of obedience.”
“What we don't have now we don't need now.”
“…all that I am, all that I have, all that I do, and all that I suffer have been joyfully placed at His disposal.”
“The heart which has no agenda but God's is the heart at leisure from itself. Its emptiness is filled with the Love of God.”
“Waiting patiently is almost impossible unless we also are learning at the same time to find joy in the Lord, commit everything to Him, trust Him, and be quiet.”
“Our own diminishments, in God's sovereign ordering of all things for His glory and our good, are not only the prerequisites to our own joy, but may also be the means of enriching the lives of others.”
February 3, 2023
Elisabeth Elliot’s words have discipled so many and I am honored to get a little ounce of them in these pages. I know through experience that singleness is a gift (which she explains) and I also know the loneliness that will sometimes show up as a single woman and tempt me to despair. Elisabeth shows how this kind of pain can be embraced and be used for more than we can imagine. I think of this book as someone gently turning my face so that it gazes at the One my heart truly finds satisfaction. Here is one of many passages that blessed me on page 119:
“I had nothing in the house. Nothing except this pain. Pain—an offering? What could the Lord possibly make of that?
“Make me a cake.” In other words, Elijah said: There is one thing you can do. Even from your poverty, you can give me something. It may not seem like much, but it is the very thing I need. If you will give it to me I can do something I could not do without it.”
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise: (Ps. 51:17, KJV).
“I had nothing in the house. Nothing except this pain. Pain—an offering? What could the Lord possibly make of that?
“Make me a cake.” In other words, Elijah said: There is one thing you can do. Even from your poverty, you can give me something. It may not seem like much, but it is the very thing I need. If you will give it to me I can do something I could not do without it.”
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise: (Ps. 51:17, KJV).
February 15, 2025
I admire Elizabeth Elliot so much not just for her life experience but for her deep sensitivity to the spirit and how she allows the word of God to guide her life. I think I highlighted half the book?? Again, can’t wait to meet her in heaven
“Waiting on God is an act of faith—the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust Him.” Pg172
“Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.” Pg 157
“Waiting on God is an act of faith—the greatest thing ever required of us humans. Not faith in the outcome we are dictating to God, but faith in His character, faith in Himself. It is resting in the perfect confidence that He will guide in the right way, at the right time. He will supply our need. He will fulfill His word. He will give us the very best if we trust Him.” Pg172
“Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.” Pg 157
April 2, 2023
Phenomenal. This is one of the best books I’ve ever read and I can’t recommend it enough! This book was a balm to my soul. Elisabeth Elliot does a remarkable job walking through the pain and suffering of loneliness and turning them time and again to the truths of Scripture and the goodness of God. In fact, she routinely refers to loneliness as a gift which the lonely in turn are to offer back to God. While this book would likely be helpful for anyone in their loneliness, it is particularly written for singles and widows.
“The answer to our loneliness is love - not our finding someone to love us, but our surrendering to the God who has always loved us with an everlasting love. Loving Him is then expressed in a happy and full-hearted pouring of ourselves in love to others.” (p. 192)
“The answer to our loneliness is love - not our finding someone to love us, but our surrendering to the God who has always loved us with an everlasting love. Loving Him is then expressed in a happy and full-hearted pouring of ourselves in love to others.” (p. 192)
August 13, 2023
I wish y’all could’ve seen the concerned look on the librarian’s face when I was checking this book out hahaha ma’am I promise I’m okay.
I wouldn’t exactly say this is a book about loneliness, but rather a book about dealing with pain. Elizabeth Elliot is able to explain incredibly how to bring any type of suffering to the feet of Jesus and how hurt is a gift(what a concept) that draws us closer to the Father if we let it. regardless of if you’re in the hills or valleys, this book is impactful for all stages of life.
I wouldn’t exactly say this is a book about loneliness, but rather a book about dealing with pain. Elizabeth Elliot is able to explain incredibly how to bring any type of suffering to the feet of Jesus and how hurt is a gift(what a concept) that draws us closer to the Father if we let it. regardless of if you’re in the hills or valleys, this book is impactful for all stages of life.
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January 3, 2024Many people might think this book was written for single people facing a life of aloneness, but aloneness and loneliness are not the same thing and Elisabeth Elliot writes to all people in all stages of life who wrestle with waiting and the desire to be fully known. I found this book to be very helpful and poignant.
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