Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic

by Raven Kaldera

Power Circuits is an alliance between two alternative lifestyles: polyamory, or multiple open and honest romantic relationships; and power dynamics, relationships that choose to be consciously and deliberately unequal in power, such as dominant/submissive or master/slave. Both lifestyles are on the cutting-edge frontiers of romantic and sexual relating, and for a long time practitioners of both have found little sympathy in either camp. This is the first book of its kind that navigates the waters of effective polyamory and power exchanges, with many essays from the brave practitioners who swim there.

Genres: Polyamory, Nonfiction, BDSM, Sexuality, Relationships, Queer, Self Help

302 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 18, 2010

About the author

A female-to-male transgendered activist and shaman, Raven Kaldera is a pagan priest, intersex transgender activist, parent, astrologer, musician and homesteader. Kaldera is also the author of "Hermaphrodeities: The Transgender Spirituality Workbook" from XLibris Press. The founder and leader of the Pagan Kingdom of Asphodel and the Asphodel Pagan Choir, Kaldera has been a neo-pagan since the age of 14, when he was converted by a "fam-trad" teen on a date. Since then, he's been through half a dozen traditions, including Gardnerian, Dianic, granola paganism, Umbanda, Heithnir, and the Peasant Tradition. He is currently happily married to artist and eco-experimentalist Bella Kaldera, with whom he co-founded the Institute for Heritage Skills.

Reviews

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mostly I hated this book. There was so much egregious misogyny and also a ridiculous amount of time spent justifying polyamory and D/s (individually) considering that the audience is probably people who are already down with both. Although this book acknowledges that non-hierarchical polyamory exists, and spends a teensy bit more time on the existence of part-time D/s relationships, it is mostly about full-time D/s households with an intense primary/secondary polyamory structure.

Andrea Zanin's essay was a delight (and not only in contrast to the rest of the content, genuinely excellent)! There were one or two other essays I liked. Some of the lists of questions to consider in the first half would probably be useful to a lot of people.

Mostly, Raven Kaldera's ego oozes through everything and although he pretends there's no one true way, a lot of his advice is based on a pretty damn narrow way. My two pet peeves about polyamory writing persist in this book: that everyone who is polya is "opening up" from monogamy (thus no tools to BUILD good polyamory from day 1), and that the normal model of polyamory is based around a central primary couple.

I lolsobbed and rage-read-aloud a lot.

[Jess Mahler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Highly recommended for D/s folks looking to explore polyamory. Otherwise, not so much.

I finished Power Circuits with mixed feelings. As someone who identifies primarily as polyamorous but has had kink in my relationships since before I knew what polyamory was, I was really looking forward to a book that brought the two together.

That book... isn't this one.

What this book is, is a mostly-solid practical guide for couples in D/s relationships looking to open up their relationships. It has a very heavy focus on situations where the D-type wants to open the relationship and little space is given to s-types who are drawn to polyamory for their own reasons.

For what it is, this book is very good. But the description made it seem like a book that was more balanced in it's presentation and it's focus on D/s folks opening up leaves this polyamorous & kinky person kind of disappointed.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This felt like two books to me: the first “book” that has great information and insights from Raven, and then a second book of random essays about whatever. Sure, most of the essays had a non-monogamous slant, but they didn’t really feel to add to the knowledge and learning that the first portion did.

There were a few standout essays, but by and large they just felt like filler.

5 stars for Raven’s part and 3 stars for the essays.

Raven’s section was insightful and educational. It has great knowledge for anyone looking to have just healthier relationships (kink, ENM, or not!). It feels like a wonderful basis of knowledge and I was wishing I’d read it 10 years ago!

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure if this book is incredibly well-written or if I was just in a place in my life to entirely absorb it. As the first book I read about D/s relationships, I feel like I came away with a lot of newly born appreciation for types of relationships I had previously looked somewhat down upon. I'm not sure if that would have been the case regardless of what D/s book I read, but the poly perspective definitely helped, as I consider myself polyamorous first. It did feel a bit sexist at times, especially when it came to lesbian and gay relationships, at least as far as this Millennial is concerned, but to be fair, I understand that the intent was to express generalizations in the history of their respective movements. It also got a bit dry reading through chapter after chapter of personal essays from writers-in, but I'm SO glad that I stayed through the whole book as the final two were adorable and closer to my own situation.

[Aemok · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book Raven Kaldera gives a fantastic look into the difficulties and rewards that can come from combining ethical non monogamy & power dynamics. Starting with with an overview from Raven himself regarding the subject and the community the book then organizes the essays and interviews by role/position: tops, bottoms, families. With a wide range of authors coming from a variety of dynamics and structures there is sure to be at least one piece that resonates with the reader.

I highly recommend this book to those who have interests in Polyamory, Power Dynamics, Communication, Relationships, Sexuality, Gender, and alternative lifestyles.

[ncn nothing · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book would probably be helpful if you're looking for ways to deal with a D person having multiple s's. But it was not at all relevant to the situation I was looking for insight into at the time of reading it, which was about an s person serving separate D's. Also, I found the author to be inflated to the point of irritating. The book's saving grace as far as I was concerned was a marvelous little essay by Andrea Zanin.

Just because it's the only book about D/s & Poly doesn't mean it's good.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book describes a range of polyamorous relationships that also include a power exchange with varying levels of intensity. The focus is on sharing strategies and structures that have worked for others. I do wish there was some sort of summary at the end - it ends abruptly.

[Teela Hudak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Like many other books by Raven Kaldera, the subject matter is discussed comprehensively from a variety of angles to give the reader a number of ways to consider the information. The writing is clear and concise but remains entertaining and pleasurable to read. This book dares to address a tender subject for many in the alternative lifestyle by answering practical questions about the grey area of crossing polyamory with the power dynamics of BDSM relationships without villianizing those interested in that lifestyle choice. It does an excellent job of clarifying the lines between abuse and personal consent and reminds the reader that there is no clear answer outside what is personal preference. The essays included by other kinksters help to demonstrate the variety of ways one can approach and effectively combine power dynamics and multiple partners and I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to increase their knowledge on the subject for practice or simple understanding.

[Elorin Achiad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Open and practical

In plain language Raven Kaldera explores the intersection of polyamory and power exchange relationships. Useful suggestions and honest exploration illustrate the best ways to approach negotiations and maintenance of these complicated dynamics. The essays in the second half of the book are written by participants in some of these dynamics and provide eye opening examples of the wide variety of situations that fall under this umbrella.

[Reba Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do yourself a favor and read Andrea Zanin's 'Pinning Smoke to the Wall'. That is the best essay in this book and very different from the main author's perspective. I'd love for Andrea Zanin to write an entire book tbh! I only read this book once but I returned to this essay many, many times over the past year.

[Arianna · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I really don't feel like there was a whole book's worth of relevant information on this topic. Maybe that's just because it wasn't super relevant *to me* and didn't read as especially sophisticated. Whatever the reason, it's been a bit of a slog. I'm poly, I'm a kinky switch, I'm interested in long term D/s etc. but nothing exactly revelatory came up. Half way through, and I'm done.

[Merry · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and it was pretty informative. Mostly a collection of stories from a variety of households and D/s and poly dynamics. It really lacks in what I was hoping to find, resources as a polyamorous s type who is with a mostly monogamous D type. I would love to see more writing on this topic.

[Samu · Rating 2 out of 5]

If this was my life, I would be very upset most of the time.

For anyone that actually wants to live a poly D/s life, this is a great resource on a topic very little has been written about. But as a word of warning, it advocates for things like non-con polyamory, which for me is an impossibility to understand. But each to their own.

[Atomic Pixie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very good. Learned a lot.

I loved the Raven Kaldera parts. Many of the other essays dragged in places and I found myself skipping around the last half of the book. But the first half is witty and well written.

[Jenny O'Malley]

I borrowed it from a dungeon library and I intend to buy my own paper copy.

[Jenni · Rating 4 out of 5]

loved it

[Kelly Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone interested in the lifestyle. Definitely one to read before you jump in!

[Frl Drosselmeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

While Power Circuits goes significantly beyond the level of power exchange I'm interested in pursuing, I found this book useful despite feeling outside its demographic. RK explains the issues in living with power exchange and the added complications of poly, without being either judgemental or OTWish. From my perspective, extreme power exchange was demystified, and seemed workable for those who wish to.

Not a 101 for either kinksters or polyamorists -- I'd recommend Tristan Taormino, and Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, before diving in here -- but an excellent, practical reader for those interested in combining the two.

[Madam Hexe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed that this book provided multiple perspectives. Although the author's personal story of his home and household was honest, informative, and intimate, having other households and individuals with very different methods, styles, and flavors of both power exchange and polyamory was immensely refreshing. I would recommend this read for those tentatively mixing kink and poly lifestyles, especially those new to either concept.

[Belles · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a good book, very informative and well written. But the problem I have with most of Kaldera's BDSM related books is that it focuses a lot on Master/slave relationships. So I have a hard time relating a lot of the time.

[Tequila · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for anyone who is in a power exchange relationship and wanting to add a poly dynamic to their relationship. Kaldera covers a lot of topics as well as having both dominants, submissives, and poly families writing essays about their experiences with poly within a power dynamic.