How Can I Talk If My Lips Don't Move?: Inside My Autistic Mind

by Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay

An astounding new work by the author of The Mind Tree (Arcade, ’03) that offers a rare insight into the autistic mind and how it thinks, sees, and reacts to the world. When he was three years old, Tito was diagnosed as severely autistic, but his remarkable mother, Soma, determined that he would overcome the “problem” by teaching him to read and write. The result was that between the ages of eight and eleven he wrote stories and poems of exquisite beauty, which Dr. Oliver Sacks called “amazing and shocking,” for it gave the lie to all our assumptions about autism. Here Tito goes even further and writes of how the autistic mind works, how it views the outside world and the “normal” people he deals with daily, how he tells his stories to the mirror and hears stories back, how sounds become colors, how beauty fills his mind and heart. With this work, Tito— whom Portia Iversen, co-founder of Cure Autism Now, has described as “a window into autism such as the world has never seen”—gives the world a beacon of hope. For if he can do it, why can’t others?

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology, Biography, Disability, Biography Memoir

240 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Katy-Del · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay is an autistic 20 year old who now lives in Austin, Texas. He is completely non-verbal, but has 4 published books. There are a lot of books out there by people who have Asberger's syndrome, or high functioning autism, but this is the first book I have read by someone so severly afflicted. I would recommend this for anyone who knows someone with severe autism.

I ordered this on Interlibrary Loan after hearing it mentioned by Temple Grandin. Tito describes how he perceived his childhood. There is wonderful detail about what he is experiencing when he hand-flaps, or tantrumed or was obessed with mirrors. These are all things my own 10 year old has gone through. I know no person thinks like the next, and each case of autism is different, but I really feel like I've gained something from getting to read through Tito's experiences.

Tito is extremely intellegent and his words are poetic. I really appreciated a passage that he wrote about a school he went to in California before moving to Texas. He talks about how the teachers and aides praised for everything. One day, he opened the door on his own and was greeted by a chorus of, "Good Job." He was enraged because it was so asinine for him to get praise for opening the door. And he couldn't scream out that they were being stupid and condescending. Tito is locked in a body that behaves unusually, but he understands and enjoys reading Byron and understands complex math and science.

[Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tito's book is a window into the inner workings of his autistic mind. I was intrigued by his perception of the world around him and how it affects him. He is mute and assimilates information differently, yet he is very intelligent. His mother explained complex concepts to him at an early age purely as an effort to model language and encourage him talk, yet he retained the repeated information and built on it thru the years. He states he was the only three year old who knew the definition of gravity, force and accelleration!

I was left particularly interrested in Tito's mother. She was a vital part of his learning from early on and is seemingly very intelligent. The story tells us nothing of her education level or thoughts in all this, though her efforts jump out from every page.
We also learn nothing of his father. There is but a brief mention of his periodic presence and nothing more.

It made me also interested in the government of other countries in contrast to the US concerning disabled individuals. Tito and his mom accepted an invite to the US at the cost of becoming a human lab rat because Tito will be taken care of in the US after his mother's death, where otherwise he would not.

I would recommend this book to anyone as it really reflects that because a person looks different or their mind works differently, that doesn't mean they don't have thoughts and feelings.

[Melissa Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author of this book is an 18 year old with sever autism. He does not speak but can communicate extremely well through writing.

I enjoyed this book much more than the other I recently read by the same author -- The Mind Tree. This book was much more helpful in terms of a description of what it's like to have autism. I especially enjoyed hearing about how Tito learned various skills like writing, dressing himself and throwing a ball. This book is very helpful if you're seeking to understand someone with autism better or if you need motivation or help when working with an individual with autism to help them learn.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Autistic person's point of view

I have worked with many children with Autism for the past three decades. This book gave me valuable insights into the unique thinking process of those individuals. This is a valuable resource for me as I can offer some references and guidance to parents and colleagues.

[Ana Sedolli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very educational, interesting book and eye opener towards the world of Autism.

[Marilyn Grey · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful insightful book filled with the promise of tomorrow and the beauty of each moment. The autistic mind is fragile, but more profound than anything most of us can fathom. To them, a light switch is opportunity, struggle, life defined in one single action. Life and death signified in light and darkness. Everything they see, touch, feel, taste, is accentuated and felt to the extreme. What beauty and tragedy can unfold with a single staircase. There is so much beauty in this simplistic book. I'd recommend this to someone willing to take an adventure into a mind far from their own. A mind that is sometimes haunted by sounds and unfamiliar challenges, but one that is filled with so much depth, intelligence, and beauty. This book makes me want to DO something. To BE something. To LIVE and enjoy every. single. moment for what it IS and not what it COULD be. Read this and don't pick up another book for a few days once you finish. Let it soak into the fibers of your heart. Let it teach you to look at a nail on the wall and see stories, not a piece of metal bent into drywall. Let it change your life.

[Liz Alley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book for an interprofessional research study and I did learn a lot thanks to Tito’s perspectives on living with autism. I think the stories and detail that Tito shared will stick with me and will give me a better understanding as to why certain behaviors happen with autistic individuals. I wish the book would have been more connected though - it didn’t make sense chronologically and jumped around a lot. I did enjoy his final parting thoughts.

[Hamja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moved me to tears.

[Joe-Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mukhopadhyay's ability to articulate his experience of reality is both poetic and scientific. As someone coming to understand their own autistic experience, I am incredibly grateful to have come upon such an honest and intimate look into the dynamic inner world of a truly genuine soul.

[Lonnie Pacelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightfulness: 4 Stars | Creativity: 3 Stars | Well Written: 3 Stars | Page Turner: 3 Stars

Summary:
Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay, a nonverbal man on the autism spectrum, gives insight into the autistic mind and how he thinks, sees, and reacts to the world.

Is it insightful? 4 Stars
Provides good insight into how Tito views the world and the unique perspective in which he relates to everyday events. As example, he describes watching basketball and football like watching swarming ants. I wanted more analogies.

Is it creative? 3 Stars
There is poetry interspersed throughout some of the chapters which is meant to help underscore concepts. I found the poetry a distraction and not helpful at all to the book.

Is the well written? 3 Stars
Read in about three hours. There was no logical progression of the chapters. One chapter he is in India, then he’s in Austin, then later in Hollywood. The author sometimes gave indication of how old he was, sometimes not. The book needed a good editor to scrub it.

Is it a page turner? 3 Stars
The longer I read the more I wanted the book to be over with. It read more like a random string of short stories. Even more disappointing is that it would not have been much work to sequence the chapters and make it read more chronologically.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't bad, but it probably isn't something I'd read again. I liked getting to see inside the mind of an autistic person and the reasoning behind his interactions with other people and objects. Based on the title, I was expecting more of his inability to talk. Instead, this book was more of a rambling, disjointed journey through his life in two to three page excerpts. At the end of each, and something in the middle, he'd break out into poetry based on what he was just talking about. I'm not a fan of poetry, really, and I felt like I had to break out of the narrative to read these poems.

I was also left wondering why. It was really interesting to read about his interactions with objects, or his shadow, but this book doesn't scratch the surface into anything deeper. Not only was autism not touched on very well, but I don't feel like Tito really came out as a character.

Taking this book for what it is- the memoirs of an autistic guy- it was interesting and insightful. I had expected a lot more from it, namely touching on language and autism, and I was disappointed.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't even get a fourth of the way through the book. Though it is a fascinating look into the unique mindscape of a non-verbal autistic, I found the style of the book too choppy for me - each chapter is a essentially a poetic description of a scene from the life and perspective of the author, and the chapters aren't strongly interconnected. I wish I could have persevered enough to finish the book, but not being a poetically-minded or very imaginative reader, I just couldn't. It's definitely an excellent book to flip through, reading selected portions, so as to get a grasp of the incredible view the author has of the world. And if you like poetic writing with lots of imagery, you should certainly read it!

[Kait Thomp · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an occupational therapist, I have recommended this book to many of my colleagues. Tito gives us insight into his world as an individual who is classified as non-verbal through his written composition and poetry. Although each and every individual with or without a diagnosis of autism thinks and perceives the world entirely differently, Tito has essentially given a voice to so many individuals who are unable to communicate in a verbal or written manner. We cannot make assumptions about what people are thinking - or not thinking - simply because they are unable to communicate verbally.

[Jessica Biggs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Difficult book to really get into for me. Memoirs that begin at age 2-3 are suspect to me. Higher level thinking and memory isn’t developed at that age. Its difficult to believe he can now explain how he saw shadows and fans at that age.
However, kudos to his mom. Parental support and involvement makes such a difference, and for him she literally gave him words.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book by young man with autism. His mother, Soma, has been recognized for educating him at home when living in India. Lots of great insights about the mind of a person with autism, some great parts in there about misconceptions, private schools, etc.

[Danni Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've sworn off reading books about autism by non-autistic authors, so I was happy to find this book which is about the author's own firsthand experience of autism. It is beautiful and I recommend it very much.

[S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am amazed at the capacity of the human spirit to rise above limitations. This book is poetic and inspiring.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is really cool, because it is written from the perspective of someone with autism. That also makes it really hard to read.

[Jillian Button · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone whose life has been touched by autism should give this a read.

[Rainbowgardener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just an amazing revelation of the mind and thought processes of a supposedly "non verbal" autistic person, growing up his earliest years in India. We think of him as disabled, but he is so clearly differently abled. The mind revealed is powerful, insightful, sensitive, capable of nuance. He is a keen observer of his own mental processes and has an astounding memory, not only for incidents dating back to his very early childhood, but for what his thought processes were like. He is clearly well above average intelligence. Without ever sounding like he is bragging, even humble bragging, he occasionally mentions learning trigonometry and thermodynamics as well as having studied classical and romantic poetry and much else. His mother, who was also mostly his only teacher, was talking to him about gravity and other very advanced concepts when he was 5-6 and only just beginning to show signs of being able to communicate.

There were some frustrating gaps in the story. At one point he casually mentions that he learned reading and writing around age six and that became his only way of expressing himself. He does say that he started with a letter board, then progressed to independent hand writing and typing. But given how much detail he gives in his process of learning things like tying his shoes, the momentous, life changing learning of reading and writing is pretty glossed over.

Also, there is one mention of a time he is hurt and he calls out for his (ever present) mother. Wait, what? He can talk? Make speech out loud?? The whole rest of the book seems to say that is impossible for him.

The other thing that seems missing is revealing of his autism. The book focuses entirely on autism as a difference in perceptions, reactions to stimuli, communication, other cognitive processes (like attention, getting obsessive about things). But there is obviously an emotional component as well. His mother devotes her entire life to working with him, talking to him constantly for years while he could give no response, caring for his body and his mind, finding creative ways to help him learn, protecting him, advocating for him. Several times she uproots her life, moving to different parts of India, to California, to Texas .... all to be where there are the best resources for him. She basically saves his life and makes him who he is. Without her he might well have rotted in some institution, functioning as retarded, no one having any idea there was so much going on in his mind.

He mentions the things she does for him. But no where does he express empathy for what it must have cost her. (Among other things her husband abandons her, leaving her alone with this extremely difficult, needy, demanding child). No where does he express gratitude for what she gave him or express love for her. This makes him come across as emotionally stunted.

But the workings of this astounding mind are fascinating. And the childhood section gives glimpses of what India was like then (around the end of the last century?):. crowded, hot, poor, with an electrical power system that was down almost as much as it was functioning.

[Wajiha Khan · Rating 4 out of 5]

How can I talk if my lips don't move
A baffling tale of tito who was diagnosed with severe Autism at a petty age of 3.
This is also the story of a mother who worked against the wind to get her child accepted in a society where this disease was alien.
How does it feel to live in a world of shadows , colours and unexplained thoughts.
Having questions that no one can answer
Making people believe in the dilemmas the situations which are  providing them with  enough nightmares to struggle with each night.
Looking in the mirror that has different stories to tell each time they look at it
Dealing with perceptions ,the rationality and irrationality of their tantrums.
He narrates his journey how his early years went by befriending mirrors, shadows bringing him stories to decipher. How he gets scared by the suddenness of unknown situations. His non-plussed existence and how he dealt with people's forlorn expressions. How he struggled to remove the stigmas attached to his life. How his factual memory was more reliable than his episodic memory. How each time colours in his mind quarrelled  when he tried to recognize a person.
The crux of his tale is that the individuals with Autism or any neurological disorder are wired a little bit differently from us  but that does not make them an outcast or a less fortunate being .They absorb their surroundings in a different way.We are not able to grasp their thoughts similar is the case with them.
Instead of treating them like an outlier support and help them with their difficulties.
They don't need fixing but accommodation from the people who don't have it so that we both can converge these two worlds. Which would be amazing. The World needs to be ready to accept people who are different but still smart. 

[Laura C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am always interested to read books written by autistic authors, especially those that are non speaking. I find they commonly get assessed as having an intellectual disability until they later are able to communicate and it is discovered they are actual quite intelligent. I love knowing how their brain works and what help they received to achieve a way to communicate with others.

Tito is an 18 year old non speaking autistic adult who tells the story of his childhood. He was born in India and that’s where the story begins. It’s obvious that his mother helped him a lot. She seems like an amazing woman.

Some parts were so insightful while others I wasn’t quite sure I understood. There were times that I didn’t want to continue reading but I knew soon enough I would reach a chapter that would interested me. I think some chapters were too detailed in their explanations. Overall I’m glad I read the book.

Tito has written other books which I may read one day.

[Sunhi Lundeen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir written by the author who has been autistic since birth. He was born at a time in which autism was not understood and was just beginning to come to light in developed countries. He was born and raised in India during his early years where autism was truly not understood. Seeing his thoughts through a non verbal (other than screaming) autistic mind was extremely sad and yet amazing and enlightening. Much credit needs to be given to his mother. She did not dismiss him in any way but did everything she could to help him understand everyday things, not only through support networks, but she herself teaching Tito everyday necessities like reading, writing, understanding and controlling his emotions, and even how to perceive, understand, and describe pain.
A fascinating book that is well worth your time.

[Katie Burger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read. Written by a non-verbal autistic individual, this book offers an insight into the mind of someone who views the world much differently than I do, and I am so glad I read it. Though Tito was diagnosed as severely autistic at a very young age, his mother never gave up on her son, constantly talking to him and teaching him about things that were supposedly beyond his capabilities. Since learning to communicate through written word, Tito has become an award-winning writer and poet, sharing with us an intelligent and beautifully written perspective on life. Tito is able to reflect on his anxieties, describe how he overgeneralizes in situations and explain how sounds can transform into hypnotizing color. This book will completely change the way you think about how others think.

[Anand Hande · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some intrinsic value, in terms of teaching the reader things about disability that they may never realize. The way Tito mixes everyday stories with valuable societal insight gives the book a good flow. There isn't a ton of plot, in the sense that most of the book is Tito's own experiences mixed with poetry. There are several interesting ideas/themes that he describes which I never would have thought of by myself. It's really unique to hear stories that you never would have heard otherwise, and I think that's the main appeal of this book. In addition, the book is very well-written, using simple language to convey complex ideas.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hadn't read a book like this that delves into the mind of an autistic person so I found it quite fascinating and also rather miraculous he could not talk but was able to write thereby giving us this information. His mother is a saint and must not only be caring and understanding but very educated and able to teach him many things and to understand what was going on with him enough to not dismiss him as hopeless. It is an easy quick read and if you haven't read something like this before you will learn from it.

[Georgie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides an insight into Tito’s mind and how he perceives the world. The book has multiple small sections that are too short to be considered chapters and Tito explains different aspects of himself using different examples from his memories, he also has scattered some of his poems throughout the book with each one being relevant to the section that they are in. I did identify a lot with Tito (I am also diagnosed with autism) although in Tito’s case his senses are dialled up to eleven, and he also has synesthesia resulting in him seeing colours and shapes when people talk.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could read this book 10 times over (maybe more!) I found myself re-reading pages because there’s so much to unpack in Tito’s language & writing. Having grown up alongside someone with autism, this book provided insights I would have never known otherwise. I really value learning about the autistic experience from the autistic person themself. So much of media today on autism is written for neurotypical people and their entertainment. This book is written for everyone and is so complex, eye-opening, and heartfelt. Thank you for the words you “spin with (your) heart.” ��️

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a great deal about the autistic mind when I read this book. It was written by a non-verbal autistic man and starts when he was three years old. It gave me insight about how his mind worked and how he saw things. Really interesting book, not sure if all autistic minds are like his but maybe. His mother was key to helping learn as much as he has. Well worth read.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This young man is incredibly self-aware; something not often thought of in the context of the non-verbal person with autism. It sounds like his mother pulled him into our world and spent hours and hours teaching him. I admire her patience and thank him for sharing this look into the world of autism.