What Can I Do to Help?: 75 Practical Ideas for Family and Friends from Cancer's Frontline

by Deborah Hutton

Last November, Deborah Hutton discovered that the irritating cough she had had for two months was no trivial chest infection but in fact an aggressive carcino-adenoma that had already spread well beyond her lungs...What struck her, as she struggled to cope in the weeks following, was how difficult it was for everyone around her to deal with her news. They all wanted to help, to say the right thing. Yet somehow, all too often, their best attempts at kindness proved more debilitating than comforting. The grim reality of cancer is that life, with all its myriad demands, the dog still needs walking, the daily meals need preparing and dishing up. "What can I do to help?" you ask. Well, stand by, because the answer plenty.

Paperback

First published July 14, 2005

Reviews

[Ahad said · Rating 5 out of 5]

If an arrow ever pierces my heart, I'm sure it's because of this book, it was really an important book I should have read it earlier, knowing what to do when finding out a friend was diagnosed with cancer is too important. We had a long history with cancer fighters, but never really stepped to do something to help as as a bare minimum.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book, full of useful ideas and practical advice for those close to a person with cancer. It's a reassuring book too, and the sheer number of people quoted (who have either had cancer or a close friend or relative with the illness) proving that cancer is both indiscriminate and that there is a large support network for those affected by it. My only (small) reservation is that it assumes physical nearness (cooking dinners and providing childcare are only possible for those who live in the immediate vicinity), which can be one of the frustrating things for family and friends. Essential reading for everyone, since everyone knows someone with cancer.

[Sarah Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK quick and practical guide for friends and relatives of a cancer sufferer.
Sadly is based on the assumption that the sufferer in question has a long illness, and recovers, neither of which pertained in the case of my dear friend Pam.

[Judith Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met many of Deborah Hutton's school friends when I worked at her old school - she was clearly an exceptional person and very well-loved. When she found she had cancer, she immediately set about writing a book to help people understand what fellow-sufferers needed. When my brother Jeremy was diagnosed with lung cancer, I found this book enormously helpful. Thank you, Deborah, and all those who contributed. This is a book that makes a difference, and I very highly recommend it.

[Jill Cordry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by the mother of one of my daughter's school friends, this book is a guide for anyone who has a seriously ill friend or loved one. Diagnosed with uncurable cancer, Deborah Hutton, a former health editor of VOGUE, gives a first hand account, along with inserts from others, of what is helpful and what is not.

[Cartwheels · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, honest advice for anyone facing cancer, and anyone around them.
Some of the links are now outdated, but there are still lots of great references.
Not a depressing read, but a pragmatic one.
Thank you Deborah.