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The Trouble with Humans (5)
Humans—there’s no understanding them, and no dealing with them either. Or even their planet. Pity the poor aliens, whose shape-changing ability should let them take over the planet Earth before the humans even know they’re there—if it weren’t for all that omnipresent pollution. Or consider another set of invaders, from a planet where the weather is always mild and the changing of the seasons is hardly noticeable. They land in force and their weapons are more powerful than those of the primitive humans—but they’ve never before had to deal with below-zero temperatures, flash floods or tornados—not to mention volcanoes. Then there were the aliens who noticed how belligerent humans were, and gave them the “gift” of TV-like devices which would show anything anywhere on Earth, which was sure to lead to war. Imagine how surprised the aliens were when the humans took the gadgets apart, improved them, and started spying on everything the aliens were up to, all over the galaxy. Humans don’t make sense, they don’t fight fair, and they’re making aliens throughout interstellar space think seriously about pulling up stakes and moving to another galaxy!
384 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2007
26 people are currently reading
183 people want to read
About the author
Christopher Anvil
161 books31 followersChristopher Anvil was a pseudonym used by author Harry C. Crosby. He began publishing science fiction with the story "Cinderella, Inc." in the December 1952 issue of the science fiction magazine Imagination. By 1956, he had adopted his pseudonym and was being published in Astounding Magazine.
Anvil's repeated appearances in Astounding/Analog were due in part to his ability to write to one of Campbell's preferred plots: alien opponents with superior firepower losing out to the superior intelligence or indomitable will of humans. A second factor is his stories are nearly always humorous throughout. Another was his characterization and manner of story crafting, where his protagonists slid from disaster to disaster with the best of intentions, and through exercise of fast thinking, managed to snatch victory somehow from the jaws of defeat.
Anvil's repeated appearances in Astounding/Analog were due in part to his ability to write to one of Campbell's preferred plots: alien opponents with superior firepower losing out to the superior intelligence or indomitable will of humans. A second factor is his stories are nearly always humorous throughout. Another was his characterization and manner of story crafting, where his protagonists slid from disaster to disaster with the best of intentions, and through exercise of fast thinking, managed to snatch victory somehow from the jaws of defeat.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
January 15, 2013
Almost restores your faith in anthologies. Bean has collected an enjoyable collection of mostly early Anvil human-alien contact/war short stories, mostly written from the alien's point of view.
While the setting and characters change, the style is consistently one of wry humor as usually technologically superior aliens stumble over their own assumptions when trying to conquer earth.
"Shotgun Wedding" published in 1960 sounds like a manual on what's happened to America in the fifty years since: broadcasting "lies, backbiting, adultery and betrayal." "all real" "exercise your healthy urge for reality"
"Behind the Sandrat Hoax" is a humorous send up of scientific myopia and bureaucratic infighting. No relevance to current earth.
All make us look at ourselves just a little bit harder. And that's good.
A very good read.
While the setting and characters change, the style is consistently one of wry humor as usually technologically superior aliens stumble over their own assumptions when trying to conquer earth.
"Shotgun Wedding" published in 1960 sounds like a manual on what's happened to America in the fifty years since: broadcasting "lies, backbiting, adultery and betrayal." "all real" "exercise your healthy urge for reality"
"Behind the Sandrat Hoax" is a humorous send up of scientific myopia and bureaucratic infighting. No relevance to current earth.
All make us look at ourselves just a little bit harder. And that's good.
A very good read.
November 17, 2011
We From Arcturus - 3 stars, short and mildly amusing.
The Underhandler - 1 star, long and boring.
Duel to the Death - 1 star, it had some interesting ideas, but, I did not get the ending; read it several times, still didn't get it.
Shotgun wedding - 3 stars, reality tv as it should never be.
The Law Breakers - 2 stars, winning through inclusion and diversity.
Compensation - 2 stars, poor nontelepathic humans. How do they get by?
Merry Christmas From Outer Space - 1 star, an epistolary, blech.
The Plateau - 3 stars, don't get technology confused with science.
Captive Leaven - 2 stars, stranded on a tech deficient planet? Start an arms race.
Sinful City - 2 stars, how to clean up a sin city that's just outside the jurisdiction of three separate alien nations.
Behind the Sandrat Hoax - 3 stars, in spite of the fact that it's a bleching epistolary, in the words of one leading philosopher, "Scientific progress goes 'boink.'" (Reference.)
Nerves - 1 star, never cuckold a Martian.
The Gentle Earth - 3 stars, the dangers and vicissitudes of Earth take their toll on an unprepared invasion force. GRIPE: How did the aliens ever get into space without an understanding of what effects temperature differences had on their physiology?
The Underhandler - 1 star, long and boring.
Duel to the Death - 1 star, it had some interesting ideas, but, I did not get the ending; read it several times, still didn't get it.
Shotgun wedding - 3 stars, reality tv as it should never be.
The Law Breakers - 2 stars, winning through inclusion and diversity.
Compensation - 2 stars, poor nontelepathic humans. How do they get by?
Merry Christmas From Outer Space - 1 star, an epistolary, blech.
The Plateau - 3 stars, don't get technology confused with science.
Captive Leaven - 2 stars, stranded on a tech deficient planet? Start an arms race.
Sinful City - 2 stars, how to clean up a sin city that's just outside the jurisdiction of three separate alien nations.
Behind the Sandrat Hoax - 3 stars, in spite of the fact that it's a bleching epistolary, in the words of one leading philosopher, "Scientific progress goes 'boink.'" (Reference.)
Nerves - 1 star, never cuckold a Martian.
The Gentle Earth - 3 stars, the dangers and vicissitudes of Earth take their toll on an unprepared invasion force. GRIPE: How did the aliens ever get into space without an understanding of what effects temperature differences had on their physiology?
July 10, 2012
Great anthology of sci fi stories by author up until now unknown to me. Some of the stories go back several decades, and there is an continuing theme of humans vs. Martians; civilized vs. uncivilized, but it is not always clear at the start which side is which. Some serious issues are raised (loyalty, self preservation, corruption, and war-mongering, to name a few) but there are also great moments of humor, and some Twilight Zone-worthy twists.
March 23, 2015
While some of these stories are OK taken singly, reading one story after another about how aliens fail to beat humanity because aliens are morons gets a little monotonous.
December 29, 2016
Overall I really liked this book. Some of the stories were in the order of "Humans - F*** Yeah", and some were in the order of War of the Worlds with aliens dealing with an unfamiliar ecosystem. I'm looking forward to reading more of his work.
We From Arcturus - A well done little tale of aliens scouting the earth for invasion and finding it a little more than they can handle. Somebody probably should have warned them about using TV programs for advanced recon. 4 stars
The Underhandler - A snappy little story about underestimating the intelligence and resourcefulness, let alone the conniving ability, of the human race when attacked. I really like this one a lot. 4 Stars
Duel to the Death - intriguing concept that didn't seem to be fully formed, or perhaps I'm just a dolt. I didn't find the story as entertaining as the previous two. There were no characters that I actually enjoyed. 2 stars.
Shotgun Wedding - An advanced race tries to disrupt Earth society by introducing a new form of TV that allows the viewer to see real places in real time so the alien race can waltz in and take over. Another somewhat interesting concept that didn't seem fully realized. At least I liked the characters this time. 3 stars
The Law Breakers - A couple of aliens get sent to Earth to destroy human ability to colonize space, only to run into several severe obstacles. I liked the characters and cared for them. Story moved along well and kept me interested. 4 stars.
Telepathic aliens have trouble convincing their superiors that non-telepathic humans have sophisticated technology and get themselves into trouble when dealing with the local customs. In the end they fall prey to consumerism and have to find jobs. 4 Stars.
Merry Christmas From Outer Space - told as a series of telegram/letter like messages it details the attempt of one alien culture to sabotage the US space race, mess it up royally and the subsequent catastrophe at a publishing house over payment for one of its stories. It was almost like a Nigerian email scam. I liked the storyline, but not the way it was presented. 3 Stars.
The Plateau - an advanced alien race invaded earth and through a lack of cultural understanding mistook our fiction for fact allowing humanity to take advantage of the situation though it looked nearly hopeless. I liked the characters and the aliens were similar enough to be sympathetic. 4 Stars.
Captive Leaven - On a planet involved in a Cold War Dane is a spy sent in to steal an advanced device from the other side. It seems to be a allegory for the US-Soviet Union. Fast moving, but didn't really pull me in all that much. 3 Stars
"Sinful City - On an alien planet inhabited by several different extraterrestrial aliens lies a city in a no-man's-land where vice is on sale all the time. A delegation consisting of a representative of each alien is sent in to figure out how to deal with the problem. I liked it a lot. 4 Stars.
Behind the Sandrat Hoax - And how prescient it is. A government that refuses to accept scientific evidence as well as the experiences of the actual citizens, which instead pushes forth its own agenda based on its own pet theory and endangers the lives of its people. This is a perfect description of the last several years of government/science conflict. Told in the form of a series of official messages. 5 stars.
Nerves - reminded me of The Martian Chronicles a little. A Martian delegate discovers his Earth guest is sleeping with his wife and exacts revenge on them. Meh. 2 Stars.
The Gentle Earth - sort of an update on War of the Worlds. An alien invasion of Earth centers on the US during the summer. When winter comes around things don't go so well for the invaders who didn't gather enough information beforehand. In some of the stuff it seemed quite dated, but overall pretty good. I felt sort of sorry for the aliens at times. 4 Stars.
The eBook was formatted well with now obvious errors.
We From Arcturus - A well done little tale of aliens scouting the earth for invasion and finding it a little more than they can handle. Somebody probably should have warned them about using TV programs for advanced recon. 4 stars
The Underhandler - A snappy little story about underestimating the intelligence and resourcefulness, let alone the conniving ability, of the human race when attacked. I really like this one a lot. 4 Stars
Duel to the Death - intriguing concept that didn't seem to be fully formed, or perhaps I'm just a dolt. I didn't find the story as entertaining as the previous two. There were no characters that I actually enjoyed. 2 stars.
Shotgun Wedding - An advanced race tries to disrupt Earth society by introducing a new form of TV that allows the viewer to see real places in real time so the alien race can waltz in and take over. Another somewhat interesting concept that didn't seem fully realized. At least I liked the characters this time. 3 stars
The Law Breakers - A couple of aliens get sent to Earth to destroy human ability to colonize space, only to run into several severe obstacles. I liked the characters and cared for them. Story moved along well and kept me interested. 4 stars.
Telepathic aliens have trouble convincing their superiors that non-telepathic humans have sophisticated technology and get themselves into trouble when dealing with the local customs. In the end they fall prey to consumerism and have to find jobs. 4 Stars.
Merry Christmas From Outer Space - told as a series of telegram/letter like messages it details the attempt of one alien culture to sabotage the US space race, mess it up royally and the subsequent catastrophe at a publishing house over payment for one of its stories. It was almost like a Nigerian email scam. I liked the storyline, but not the way it was presented. 3 Stars.
The Plateau - an advanced alien race invaded earth and through a lack of cultural understanding mistook our fiction for fact allowing humanity to take advantage of the situation though it looked nearly hopeless. I liked the characters and the aliens were similar enough to be sympathetic. 4 Stars.
Captive Leaven - On a planet involved in a Cold War Dane is a spy sent in to steal an advanced device from the other side. It seems to be a allegory for the US-Soviet Union. Fast moving, but didn't really pull me in all that much. 3 Stars
"Sinful City - On an alien planet inhabited by several different extraterrestrial aliens lies a city in a no-man's-land where vice is on sale all the time. A delegation consisting of a representative of each alien is sent in to figure out how to deal with the problem. I liked it a lot. 4 Stars.
Behind the Sandrat Hoax - And how prescient it is. A government that refuses to accept scientific evidence as well as the experiences of the actual citizens, which instead pushes forth its own agenda based on its own pet theory and endangers the lives of its people. This is a perfect description of the last several years of government/science conflict. Told in the form of a series of official messages. 5 stars.
Nerves - reminded me of The Martian Chronicles a little. A Martian delegate discovers his Earth guest is sleeping with his wife and exacts revenge on them. Meh. 2 Stars.
The Gentle Earth - sort of an update on War of the Worlds. An alien invasion of Earth centers on the US during the summer. When winter comes around things don't go so well for the invaders who didn't gather enough information beforehand. In some of the stuff it seemed quite dated, but overall pretty good. I felt sort of sorry for the aliens at times. 4 Stars.
The eBook was formatted well with now obvious errors.
November 29, 2020
Narrator was OK but I think Anvil tried too hard to always be funny, with long setups for jokes that didn't pay off, repeated confusion about various words or concepts that the aliens supposedly didn't understand while they seemed to understand other more difficult words and complex concepts without a problem. All in the service of a joke that was wearing thin and most were fairly juvenile anyway. I think I gave it an hour at most.
February 1, 2025
Hot diggity! This collection is a group of true Golden Age Science Fiction (written 1950s-1960s), with the delightful twist endings of the period. However, THESE are written with plot and vocabulary for ADULTS, with education, rather than for the 'everyday' yokels that many of the pulps seem to have thought comprised their audience.
A must read author for SF gurus. I have already bought the other collections of his work that I could find.
A must read author for SF gurus. I have already bought the other collections of his work that I could find.
January 12, 2020
Thought provoking
The trouble with humans is that they are something like tribbles, but a lot more bellicose, inventive, and productive of guffaws.
The trouble with humans is that they are something like tribbles, but a lot more bellicose, inventive, and productive of guffaws.
August 2, 2023
Simplistic, silly, fun.
November 5, 2023
Read just We From Arcturus.
March 2, 2014
Product Description
Humans—there's no understanding them, and no dealing with them either. Or even their planet. Pity the poor aliens, whose shape-changing ability should let them take over the planet Earth before the humans even know they're there—if it weren't for all that omnipresent pollution. Or consider another set of invaders, from a planet where the weather is always mild and the changing of the seasons is hardly noticeable. They land in force and their weapons are more powerful than those of the primitive humans—but they've never before had to deal with below-zero temperatures, flash floods or tornados—not to mention volcanoes. Then there were the aliens who noticed how belligerent humans were, and gave them the ?gift? of TV-like devices which would show anything anywhere on Earth, which was sure to lead to war. Imagine how surprised the aliens were when the humans took the gadgets apart, improved them, and started spying on everything the aliens were up to, all over the galaxy. Humans don't make sense, they don't fight fair, and they're making aliens throughout interstellar space think seriously about pulling up stakes and moving to another galaxy!
About the AuthorFor two decades, Christopher Anvil had numerous stories in the leading science fiction magazines, and was a frequent and popular contributor to the leading magazine, Analog, where he consistently ranked high in the reader's polls, and had several stories nominated for Hugo and Nebula awards. Like Keith Laumer, he has a rare ability to combine fast-moving adventure with wry humor. His previous books for Baen were Pandora's Legions, Interstellar Patrol, Interstellar Patrol II: The Federation of Humanity, and The Trouble with Aliens. His other novels include Strangers in Paradise; Warlord's World; The Steel, the Mist, and the Blazing Sun; and The Day the Machines Stopped.
October 10, 2016
Is there anything more fun than a collection of Campbellesque stories of Humanity -v- Aliens?
I never encountered a Chis Anvil story before, and probably will not make a point of reading any of his other stories in the future, but this book was just fun. As you might expect from an author paid by the pulps, Anvil's stories tend to be formula: aliens discover that humans are inscrutable, crafty, and determined enemies. The one exception to this formula is a confusing, but amusing little riff on the publishing industry that is also a formula story, just one of a different type. The one hurdle for a formula story to cross is that it not read like a formula. Even though the author and reader agree that this setup is exactly the same as that of hundreds of other pieces published in this same magazine, it is the author's job to shove the story into some new ground. That is something Anvil does remarkably well. Most of the stories collected in this book are essentially reboots of The War of the Worlds, and make almost no effort to even try to move far enough from that novel to answer some of the most obvious flaws in that telling: for example, why don't the aliens bother with basic reconnaissance before committing their armies? It is also a hallmark of the Anvil story that post-WWII technology is pretty much as advanced as tech gets. Atom bombs and gun powder pose enough of a threat to justify invasion, while also all you need on a mission of conquest. Meanwhile, a couple of Joes from Brooklyn can take down an alien army through the use of 'lying' and 'sarcasm'.
Amusing and lightweight. Just what the doctor ordered.
I never encountered a Chis Anvil story before, and probably will not make a point of reading any of his other stories in the future, but this book was just fun. As you might expect from an author paid by the pulps, Anvil's stories tend to be formula: aliens discover that humans are inscrutable, crafty, and determined enemies. The one exception to this formula is a confusing, but amusing little riff on the publishing industry that is also a formula story, just one of a different type. The one hurdle for a formula story to cross is that it not read like a formula. Even though the author and reader agree that this setup is exactly the same as that of hundreds of other pieces published in this same magazine, it is the author's job to shove the story into some new ground. That is something Anvil does remarkably well. Most of the stories collected in this book are essentially reboots of The War of the Worlds, and make almost no effort to even try to move far enough from that novel to answer some of the most obvious flaws in that telling: for example, why don't the aliens bother with basic reconnaissance before committing their armies? It is also a hallmark of the Anvil story that post-WWII technology is pretty much as advanced as tech gets. Atom bombs and gun powder pose enough of a threat to justify invasion, while also all you need on a mission of conquest. Meanwhile, a couple of Joes from Brooklyn can take down an alien army through the use of 'lying' and 'sarcasm'.
Amusing and lightweight. Just what the doctor ordered.
July 8, 2010
I really had a love it/ hate it deal with this collection of short stories. Some of them captured me instantly and delighted me with some intelligent humor and commentary on the human race as a whole. However, I just wasn't feeling about half of them. This was a tough one to rate due to the fact that I ate up half of it but almost forced myself to read the other half. If you're someone who's into some classic sci-fi, touching onto some solid philosophy and psychology, I say go for it. Maybe some casual readers wouldn't be able to get into it, but if this is your thing, you will likely delight in this witty collection.
April 21, 2010
I actually enjoyed the first several stories in this book very much, and was looking forward to the rest of it...and then it suddenly became etc, etc, etc...pretty much the same story being told over. I get that there was a theme, but variety is good, too... Disclaimer: I gave up after a certain number of "repeat" stories. It may have variety in the second half of the book, and a reader going in forewarned might find it worth it.
July 12, 2012
This book is hilarious!
The general idea behind all of the stories is that, to an outsider, human culture can be pretty baffling. It's a collection of short stories about aliens coming to earth, and the various types of confusion and culture shock that ensue.
Comedy & sci-fi - a great combination in this book.
The general idea behind all of the stories is that, to an outsider, human culture can be pretty baffling. It's a collection of short stories about aliens coming to earth, and the various types of confusion and culture shock that ensue.
Comedy & sci-fi - a great combination in this book.
March 23, 2013
This was a quirky and entertaining series of short stories about (usually) the exasperation of aliens having to deal with humans. Lots of wry humor over confusion and culture shock. Unfortunately, the running theme was often repeated. This anthology would have been better if more than one author had been involved.
March 22, 2010
Classic Anvil! Classic period! The only negative one can find is the recurring theme. This is more than compensated by the superb writing, especially characterization that transcends what passes for science fiction today.
April 4, 2011
A bit hit or miss. The companion volume, The Trouble with Aliens was significantly more even (and better!)
March 28, 2011
Not as good as its sister novel, The Trouble with Aliens. Thr main problem is that both books share the same basic type of story. Humans outsmarting aliens. What causes this book to suffer is since you are reading from the losing side's point of view, you don't have anyone to relate.
August 5, 2015
I was not familiar with Anvil's work, but this was a fun read, I am glad Eric Flint is re-surrecting some of these authors and getting Baen to reprint them. A bit date technology-wise but still enjoyable.
January 1, 2008
13 short stories of human-alien interactions. Funny. The humans always fight off the bumbling aliens. These stories were published in science fiction magazines in the fifties and sixties.
November 14, 2009
Hilarious.
June 9, 2010
Short stories and novellas, some good, some so-so. Pandora's Planet was better.
September 3, 2011
Strong collection of Anvil’s work from the 1960’s-1970’s. Very much of a similar style, but still a lot of fun to read.
July 5, 2014
Very uneven story quality.
February 1, 2015
Short stories from my past, some were good some not so good so avg is in the middle even though none of the stories were avg
April 10, 2015
Didn't finish. Lots of the SF tropes I loved a half century ago are way too dated for today.
March 29, 2024
2.5 stars
February 3, 2016
Excellent science fiction from the 1950-1960s. Stories deal with interactions between aliens and Earthlings, frequently with humor.
I wish more current science fiction was this good!!
I wish more current science fiction was this good!!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews