OCD, the Dude, and Me

by Lauren Roedy Vaughn

With frizzy orange hair, a plus-sized body, sarcastic demeanor, and "unique learning profile," Danielle Levine doesn't fit in even at her alternative high school. While navigating her doomed social life, she writes scathing, self-aware, and sometimes downright raunchy essays for English class. As a result of her unfiltered writing style, she is forced to see the school psychologist and enroll in a "social skills" class. But when she meets Daniel, another social misfit who is obsessed with the cult classic film The Big Lebowski, Danielle's resolve to keep everyone at arm's length starts to crumble.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Mental Illness, Fiction, Mental Health, Humor

240 pages, Hardcover

First published March 21, 2013

About the author

For the past twenty years, I have worked with students of all ages, both in private practice and as a classroom teacher of students with language-based learning differences. Using innovative strategies and a passionate spirit, I help people get the most out of reading and writing (for school or for pleasure). I am a National Trainer for The Jane Schaffer Writing Program, which is a structured writing program that makes explicit what is often implicit about writing academic papers. In 2005, I proudly received The Walk of Heart’s teaching award after being nominated by a former student.​
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I have a bachelor's degree in drama, a master's degree in special education and a learning specialist credential. It is my pleasure to serve as a Board Member for The International Dyslexia Association’s Los Angeles Branch under the leadership of Lainie Donnell, another former student of mine. Each of us learns differently; each has unique gifts and struggles, and the planet is better off because of this diversity. I celebrate learners of all kinds, and I love to write about them. When I am not teaching or reading or writing, I can often be found on a yoga mat or watching The Big Lebowski and laughing out loud. ​OCD, THE DUDE, AND ME​ is my first novel.
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I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, and moved to Honolulu, Hawaii, when I was in elementary school. Now I live in Los Angeles, California, with my husband, Robert. We are blessed with many wonderful friends and family.
Thank you for visiting my website. I hope you find the time in your daily life to celebrate whatever package you came to the planet in, whatever way your brain works, and whatever you love to do. You deserve that.

Reviews

[Ashly Lynne · Rating 1 out of 5]

*update* SO, I wrote this when I was a lot younger and definitely now understand OCD, both as a whole and how it affects me personally, as well as my own mental illnesses better. I actually have ADHD and OCD as a little side bonus (wow so fun!) but mostly as a symptom of my ADHD. And yes I was very misspoken about OCD not coming on after traumatic events. My bad y’all and I appreciate those who corrected my misstatement! I’m leaving my original review bc I still think this book was HORRIBLE but wanted to touch on what I misspoke about. Thank you!

As someone who has OCD (and is also a Big Lebowski fan), I was utterly disappointed and, quite frankly, APPALLED by the way OCD was depicted in this short novel.

A more fitting title for this book would have been: PTSD, Shakespeare, and Me.

Here are the biggest things I hated (that bothered me) about this book:

1. PTSD DOES NOT = OCD. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. I continue to suffer with OCD (I have my whole life) and have also suffered from PTSD. I can personally attest to how VASTLY different these two things are.

2. the MC does not have OCD AT ALL The only inkling of OCD that the MC suffers from are the UTTERLY STEREOTYPICAL instances of OCD such as liking even numbers (not even generally true – I also appreciate many odd numbers, ESPECIALLY multiples of 5) and alphabetizing things. (Yes, I LOVE alphabetizing, but that's not SOLEY what OCD is. A lot of people like alphabetizing things.) If these were the only two things that my OCD entailed, I would be ECSTATIC.

3. The only thing the MC really obsesses about is how "fat" she is. SHE'S ONLY A SIZE 8 AND IS SOMETHING LIKE 5'8" SHE IS NOT FAT. Yet, she CONSISTENTLY refers to herself as a "cow." (I'm a size 8, so I guess I'm a cow too?)

4. THE BIG LEBOWSKI WASN'T MENTIONED UNTIL PAGE 160 AND PLAYED THE MOST MINIMAL PART IT COULD POSSIBLY PLAY I have NO IDEA why it was in the title of the book.

5. The author included a gay character for the sole purpose of being ably to say LOOK HOW OKAY I AM WITH GAY PEOPLE DO YOU SEE HOW COMFORTABLE I AM WITH IT CAN'T YOU SEE HOW OKAY WITH THIS I AM LOOK AT THIS STEREOTYPICAL GAY GUY I CREATED THAT HAS NO PERSONALITY BUT HE IS GAY AND I'M OKAY WITH IT (when what's really coming across is her saying I'm SO not cool with gay people it's too weird but I'm going to pretend I'm okay with it so my book sells better).

6. The MC has literally every mental disorder OTHER THAN OCD. She suffers from PTSD, she suffers from Anxiety, she (most likely?) suffers from ADD (she takes Adoral – THAT'S NOT AN OCD MEDICATION), on top of anxiety she also suffers from social anxiety, she appears to have a bit of a sensory disorder, and (last but not least) she appears to be somewhat autistic. I DON'T KNOW WHY OCD IS IN THE TITLE BECAUSE THAT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY THING SHE DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE.

7. One of my closest friends has anxiety; I have OCD - We suffer in VERY DIFFERENT ways. Like the PTSD mentioned under point 1., OCD DOES NOT = Anxiety/Social Anxiety.

8. As the book goes on her OCD is slowly being "cured." Yes, you read that right. She developed OCD AFTER a traumatic incident in her life and now it's slowly going away as she recovers. OCD IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU "SUDDENLY" DEVELOP NOR IS IT SOMETHING YOU "RECOVER" FROM. I was born with OCD and, by God, no matter HOW HARD I work to keep it in check and do everything I can to attempt stoppering it from affecting my life I WILL HAVE OCD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IT DOESN'T JUST GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU MEET PEOPLE WHO ACCEPT YOU AND ARE GOOD FOR YOU. What actually happens is that you meet wonderful people who accept you for who you are and learn to live with you and love you regardless of your "ticks." (This is spoken from personal experience. I have some WONDERFUL friends and they have not changed me but have, instead, done everything in their power to accommodate my disorder and support me.)

9. Daniel is a psychopath.

10. The only reason I suffered through and finished this book was so I could write an educated review of why it was horribly executed on so many levels.

I am so sad that OCD was so misrepresented in this book because it's a mental illness that's not often tackled in YA literature (or any literature). However, one good thing (I guess) is that this book has totally inspired me to write a book with an ACCURATE display of OCD.

I hated every second of this book and IMPLORE you NOT to read it as it is a horrible depiction of what OCD is like and includes BASICALLY NOTHING About The Big Lebowski. IT'S NOT WORTH THE TIME YOU'LL WASTE.

[Jessica-Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll admit that I had a very superficial idea of what I would be getting from a book with a cover and title like OCD, the Dude, and Me. I mean, the girl is holding up a bowling ball over her face and "DUDE" takes up at least a third of the entire cover. All those expectations were very wrong. I almost feel like I should apologize they were so wrong.

What I expected was a book like Sean Griswold's Head. It's cute, it's quirky, it's a contemporary romance that also has an emotional center, but is still comprised of all-american YA fluff. OCD, the Dude, and Me was not that. Instead it was an honest, sometimes heartbreaking look, at what it's like to be inside the mind of a teenage outcast as she hates herself and struggles to understand other people. Danielle is a lot like me. I don't have OCD, but I do have capital A, Anxiety. So reading her journals and assignments it all felt very familiar, which was very much a part of why I loved this book so much.

Danielle is over-weight and socially inept. She hates the color of her hair; She doesn't know how to accept her damaged self. She loves to read, and write, and journal every little bit of her life. However, I, Jessica-Robyn, am also all these things. I was surprised how emotionally connected I became to this book. It's like that one book that speaks directly to you in that weird, person to fictional person, sort of way.

A lot of the book is about emotions and high school. As Danielle experiences her last year of high school primarily though her English class we experience things with her. Danielle goes through a lot of normal high school experiences, like a class trip to England and a school car wash, but through her worry and obsessive nature she finds it difficult to cope among her classmates. She is a wall builder, a with-holder, and she has, as we learn, a pretty good reason to be that way. ... That I can't talk about.

There are so many aspects of the plot I want to discuss and so many things I want to say to try and make a case for this book, but the honest truth is that I can't talk about my favourite moments because it would spoil it. I'm not even willing to use spoiler tags because I know you people, you'll be too tempted.

I don't know how this book is going to fly for other people, but I ended up loving it. Will other people also love it? I really don't know.

So, here I am, between a rock and a hard place. I want to recommend this, but I don't know if I can. So let me just lay it all out there.

I woke up late today at 4PM (yes, PM) because I haven't been sleeping well. When I joined my mother in the living room I sat down and decided to read because nothing good was on TV. It's been a very long time since I read a good book, I didn't expect this one to break the losing streak. But then I started reading OCD, the Dude, and Me, and did not stop until I was finished.

As a word of warning this is written in journal format. There's a lot of emails, Grade 12 English essays, and letters that ramble, meander, and leaves things out. With that said, this is the sort of story that should be written that way. It didn't come across as stiff or withholding, it felt like a very real person was laying all out there in her personal, private, record keeping space, fueled by her OCD, that sometimes crossed over into more public spaces. It made sense for her character and for the characters around her, which made it all work it a strange and wonderful, not patch-worky, sort of way.

I would recommend this book to psychology lovers and people looking for a very "inside-the-mind" coming-of-age story that reveals itself gradually with a lot of humour and a lot of heartbreak. OCD, the Dude, and Me made me feel that contradictory happy/sad that just leaves me wanting to keep this book and not give it back to the library. No seriously, I know there would be a fine, but how much would that really be? ... guys?

Also, note to self, see what this The Big Lebowski is all about.

[Jessica Marquis · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bleh. This was one of those "why did I waste my time reading this" books. So I'm not going to waste more of it by writing a lengthy review, but will instead make a brief list of the annoyances contained within.
1. Danielle's writing voice. Wait, what? She's a senior in high school, you say? I honestly would've guessed she was a decade younger.
2. The praise (culminating in a reward) Danielle receives for her writing. This one really got me. If awards were given this easily, I should've won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in fifth grade for my story about a mouse family's conversation with a talking piece of cheese.
3. Daniel.
4. The Big Lebowski. Never having seen the movie, the sudden influx of references in the second half of the book were obnoxious and nearly enough to make me put the book down. Kinda wish I had.

[Savannah (Books With Bite) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stories that carry more than what they lead on are the best. Like this book for example. I expected to find a girl with is OCD just because. Because this book went farther than that, I was taken away.

The plot of the book is nicely done. Easily being able to step into Danielle shoe's, the reader is able to relate to her. I love getting indepth with her emotions and how wonderfully it was written. Just reading her emotions made me angry, happy, sad cause I understood her. Not to mention Danielle wrote down things so bluntly you just get it.

Now, there's no real love interest but simply Danielle finding herself again. I don't want to spoil it but Danielle face a horrible tragedy that took her away. After what was happen was revealed in the end, I can see the way she coped with it. I can piece together every emotion, every sarcastic line and understand. And that is amazing.

In the end, Danielle figures it all out. She needed time but she got there with some great help from friends who believed in her. She had an awesome Aunt and great parents that never gave up or got frustrated with her antics. They took her as is and loved her dearly.

OCD, The Dude and Me is a great read. Taking the reader by surprise by the confidence that Danielle has. Her personality has a charisma you want to read. Delivering a worthy read with an unexpected ending, OCD, The Dude and Me is inspiring.

[Cait S · Rating 1 out of 5]

What...the fuck was this author thinking? I don't even know what to say.

Edit: I initially had this as a 2 star but I changed it to 1. Here is a very short version of why.

1) I do not have OCD. I have other mental health struggles but this is not one of them and I cannot say whether or not it was portrayed accurately. However I can say it was portrayed...stereotypically? And without a lot of consideration to that fact.

2) The main character is humiliated in an assault sort of way and proceeds to forgive and forget the whole situation once the offending character tells her that he thinks she's cool and doesn't give herself enough credit. Because you know, it wasn't sexual assault. It was just that she didn't think she was pretty enough. What. THE FUCK?!

3) The MC defends a white character who dresses up as a slave for decades day at school. Again. WHAT. THE FUCK.

I lost count of how many times I rolled my eyes or grimaced or dropped the book in disgust. This had promise at the beginning, the author seems to have a good grasp on writing humor, but the places it went are so beyond garbage. Put this in the trash. Where it belongs.

[Colette]

DNF

[Marjorie Ingall · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

On the upside: Very funny. Liked that it was a kid version of an epistolary novel, told in writing assignments, emails and diary entries. And it wasn't static, like so many stories told in letters -- Danielle is such a lively writer and so amusing and so self-aware (to a point...) the book moves along at a great clip.

I also loved the unfolding relationship between Danielle and her seemingly uptight English teacher, who keeps demanding these very specific, by-the-book essays Danielle simply refuses to write. I liked the big gulf between her personal writing and her dutiful school/therapy writing. I liked that the book was full of kind, flawed adults. (I particularly loved her relationship with her aunt.) I often laughed aloud at the portrayal of a new-minted, chirpy, anxious group therapist, and enjoyed the way Danielle's relationship with fellow group member Daniel unfolded in mutual eye-rolliness of her. And hey, if you're a Big Lebowski fan like me, ANY Lebowski book is a good Lebowski book (though this book could have used MORE LEBOWSKI, given that the Dude is in the TITLE -- that was a bit of a letdown).

On the downside, and this first one is a biggie [sic]: Here's the book's jacket description: "With frizzy orange hair, a plus-sized body, sarcastic demeanor, and 'unique learning profile,' Danielle Levine doesn't fit in even at her alternative high school." SHE IS A SIZE 8. What the hell kind of message does that send to genuinely plus-size teenagers, paired with these repeated gross-out descriptions of her humungous flabby body? I understand that the author was pointing out that Danielle has crappy self-esteem, and this is about her *perception* that she's huge and hideous. (She thinks she's a size 12 --ooh, vast -- but her vintage-shopping-obsessed aunt says she's an 8.) My heart breaks for readers who pick this up hoping to find a soulmate and instead find a character who makes them feel even worse about themselves. (Ah, and I see from the Amazon reviews and Interwebs that this is indeed what's happening among Actual Girl Readers.) And while ordinarily I'd be quick to complain that OH LOOK, once again a book about a plus-sized teenager has a straight-sized girl on the cover, in this case, the book *is* about a straight-sized girl!

I was also bummed by the Big Reveal of what caused Danielle's OCD. It was the only thing that rang truly melodramatic and false -- OCD does not need a huge, tragic trigger, and in fact, it might have been a fairer portrayal of mental illness if there hadn't been this defining event that's supposed to make us even more sympathetic to her.

Parents: Alternative high school setting, so expect pot use! :) More significantly, there's sexual stuff (specifically, Two-Minutes-in-the-Closet-related pressure-filled and confusing doings) that's upsetting to Danielle and to the reader. I think this is fine for sophisticated middle schoolers, though.

[Rachel Kramer Bussel · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a lot going on in this novel, centered around a senior in high school with OCD who has to take a social skills class. She writes journal entries, graded class assignments, letters and emails. She starts out clearly removed from her peers, which I assumed was how she'd been since early childhood. We find out in the course of her writings part of the reason behind her OCD, but by then, Danielle is a more fleshed out character, who I found charming in her quirkiness. She doesn't necessarily want to fit in and be like everyone else, but she doesn't love being an outsider. That tension is at the core of this book, and the format of letters and journal entries allows us to appreciate her eccentricities. This is an occasionally dark book but also a very funny one. It's humor isn't overused, and is mixed with the more poignant moments.

Danielle is a misfit, but I never really felt sorry for her because even when she's in pain, she grapples with her feelings and is outspoken. Her anger at her parents, teacher, counselor and classmates is palpable at times, and Vaughn allows her that anger (sometimes it seems rightly placed, sometimes an overreaction). Her emails with her Aunt Joyce I found especially moving; Danielle is often able to connect with people outside her age group more than she is with her peers, until she meets fellow misfit Daniel. While I found some of his behavior over the top (like what he does in confession), his quirkiness and challenging of authority is a complement to Daniel's. This book is about OCD, The Big Lebowski, friendship, family and popularity, but also a lot more than those topics. It questions what "normalcy" is and whether that's a goal Danielle should aspire to, and doesn't ever truly answer that question. Danielle's evolution is entertaining and will speak to teens and adults who don't fit in for various reasons. Vaughn works in things that are often thought of as "issues" in a very human framework. I would love to see Danielle's story continue in a sequel.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am one of the few and fortunate who have been given the pleasure of reading this novel before its availability to the public.

Read the Kirkus Review below.

OCD, THE DUDE, & ME lives up to all the positive press.

A MUST READ.

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-re...


KIRKUS REVIEW

There are good books, and there are great books, and then there are books with characters you’ll never forget. Vaughn’s debut about a high school senior whose struggle to fit in is compounded by the social quirks associated with her OCD is definitely one of those rare finds.

Told through a brilliant collection of class assignments, journal entries, emails and “missives” to the school psychologist, Danielle Levine’s story is laugh-out-loud funny and heartbreakingly honest. Hopelessly in love with the completely unattainable Jacob Kingston and plagued by body-image issues and insecurities about her position on the senior-class social ladder, Danielle lands herself in the school psychologist’s office and, even worse, a social-skills class. But just as things look like they couldn’t possibly get any worse, Danielle’s life gradually takes a turn for the better. An oddball collection of new friends, including Daniel, who’s not much taller than she is but has a “personality…well over six feet,” her amazingly supportive Aunt Joyce and Justine, an 80-year-old British tour guide, teach Danielle that there is plenty worth loving, and forgiving, about herself.

Reminiscent of John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, Vaughn’s work avoids stereotypical pitfalls and deftly tackles the sensitive issue of a teen’s struggle with mental illness with humor and integrity. A must-read. (Fiction. 14 & up)
Pub Date: March 21st, 2013
ISBN: 978-0-8037-3843-0
Page count: 240pp
Publisher: Dial
Review Posted Online: Jan. 28th, 2013
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15th, 2013

[Mrs. Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better books featuring a character with a mental illness that I've read. This book was mostly lighthearted and amusing. What did bother me, however, were the constant references to the main character being fat. Though the book addresses the fact that "fat" is not a judgment of a person or their character, it's implied that she is not actually fat at all-she's a size 8! It annoys me to see the author play into those sorts of stereotypes. If you're going to have the character be "plus sized", then make her plus sized. It wouldn't have taken away from anything. But instead, we get the "she thinks she's fat, but she's actually a conventionally attractive person" routine. Other than that though, I did enjoy the story.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both Danielle and Daniel felt like REAL teenagers. Both had quirks and strong voices. Will be interested to see what else this author can do.

[Jezebel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, honestly don’t know what to say about OCD, The Dude, and Me. It’s one of those books that you will either fall completely in love with or you’ll hate it.

I loved it. Danielle was hilarious, broken, and stubborn. I appreciated her sense of humor, how socially awkward, dramatic, and OCD she was. She’s dramatic, sensitive , selfish, but has a huge heart and is so real. Her method of pushing everyone out of her life to prevent herself from getting hurt is so relatable. I adored her as a character. Danielle is a wonderful example of a character who is so much more than just words on paper.

There is a huge spoiler halfway through, so I can’t really talk about the plot much without giving anything away. But you should brace yourself. I didn’t bawl my eyes out, but I teared up. Alot. Lauren Vaughn did a wonderful job of conquering such emotional and deep issues while still including plenty of humor.

Usually I rather despise books written in diary style because they often end up doing a whole lot of telling instead of showing. However, that was not the case with this book. Sure, the way it’s written should not have worked at all. But it did. Danielle has such a brilliant character voice and the way this novel was written was perfect for this story.

Granted I had a few minor, minor issues with the plot that weren’t completely tied up. But the overall message of this book was just genius. Your past always catches up with you, you can’t forget people you once loved, people are never what they seem to be, and you shouldn’t change yourself to make others like you. OCD, The Dude, and Me was funny, emotional, and is one of my favorite releases from this year. If you like YA contemporary then you need this book.

[Jenni Frencham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual score: 3.5 stars. I was going to give this book only three stars, but the last fifty pages or so brought it up to four.

Danielle has OCD and has been sent to an "alternative" school where the learning environment is better for her. Something happened to her in junior high to trigger her OCD, but she doesn't like to think about that. This book consists of her writings - journal entries, correspondence with various people, and assignments for English class. We follow Danielle as she travels to England with her class, attends a socialization support group, and begs her aunt to rescue her from all the required activities in her life. Eventually, interesting things happen to Danielle and we do find out what happened to her to trigger her OCD.

First off, this girl doesn't seem like any character or genuine human being with OCD that I've ever met. Second, the book is random, scattered, and severely lacking in the plot department. I only kept reading so I could find out why there's a purple bowling ball on the cover. Yes, really. Third, if Danielle is at a special school, why don't any of her classmates have any disabilities?

This book was okay, but not really worth the time to read it. It's just too fluffy for a book that supposedly tackles some very serious issues. Meh.

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack) · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 stars. Aside from pulling out my least favorite tropes, this book was also entirely forgettable.

I don't know how to review this book because it's only been a month since I read it and I've already forgotten the entire plot. I literally remember nothing about this book. It is just that forgettable.

My main complaint is that the main character didn't have a character arc until the last page of the book. She literally has no development or character. She's just kind of there to be quirky. And the essay style gets boring fast, especially since she seems like a 10-year-old in her writing style.

EDIT: There's one more complaint which I've seen from other reviewers that ultimately made me take this down a star: the lack of respect towards OCD. As I don't have OCD myself, I'm deferring to the opinions of people who know more. This book also pulled the “mental illness is so quirky!! let's write bad books about people suffering from it” trope that is so common in YA recently.

Do not recommend.

[Gary Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Danielle’s OCD leaves her with some glitches that make it hard for her to socialize with the other seniors in her class. Luckily, she has a quirky cast of characters surrounding her that begin leading her toward self-acceptance. Told through notes, email, letters, essays, and journal entries, OCD, The Dude, and Me gives us a character whose spirit shows the way to hope.

The film The Big Lebowski is a factor in the last third of this book. Readers unfamiliar with the film will still get along fine, and those who know the movie will relish the references. OCD, The Dude, and Me has a lot to say about writing, teachers, and books. You can give this one to English-y kids in your school, and they will see themselves reflected in Danielle.

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was really good.

I really appreciated how the main character got better, but she didn't get "fixed" over the course of the book. She was still anxious, and OCD, and ADD, but she decided to forgive herself for being alive. She wasn't healed by the power of friendship and went off her meds, but she made friends.

I really liked it. Man oh man. That was a really good book.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and related a lot to the main character. Especially at the beginning, Danielle's class essays reminded me a lot of the in class essays I would write in the 7th grade which were really self-conscious and sarcastic and not very nice to the teacher.

[Lulie]

Characterizations and plot almost identical to What Happens Next it would seem, but... The Big Lebowski?!?! Don't think I can pass this up.

[Celeste · Rating 2 out of 5]

A severe lack of nuance paired with an unbearably intolerable main character makes me want to go splat. I felt my braincells disintegrate with each word I read. I know what the author is trying to go for, but it feels so hand-fisted and artificial. I'm not immersed in the story or the protagonist and her motivations at all. This is all very poorly executed. Just take all of the terrible aspects a person can obtain and magnify that by quite a lot, and that is the person we have to follow through this drag of a story. She's selfish, self-absorbed, self-pitying, annoying, bitter, woe-is-me; all of the above and more. I wanted a touching story about a young woman struggling to better herself with the issues of mental health and trudging through the high school experience on her shoulders, not whatever this trite is. The author draws in readers with the promise of tackling the heavy but interesting topic of living with OCD, and then dismisses the entire concept as a side plot in exchange for some harrowing crap that wears on the soul in its boringness. So contrived. And the one thing the author had going for them, even if it was horribly done, is the letter format of the novel; and they can't even stick to that. They were so determined to keep it that way and tell the plot through that perspective but they can't even get that right. And, of course, the main (Danielle) is probably going to get everything she wants, even if it is unrealistic and she complains about literally everything despite her life being on the higher quality of living. And I'm not saying the amount of money one has determines how much pain they can endure; I'm saying her situation as a whole doesn't match her attitude at all. Our character is seriously one of the worst people I've ever had the unlucky chance of reading about. To exemplify, she was literally enjoying watching her classmate have a serious allergic reaction at one point. Straight up gleeful until she realizes it could be fatal. Doesn't matter if that person is a bully or not, that's such an asshole thing to do. Not to mention, the protagonist hasn't even proven to us that this person specifically has wronged her, though it still wouldn't make her thoughts any better. She's just such a mean-spirited person; no wonder she doesn't have friends. And she doesn't feel remorseful or anything after thinking those thoughts and then that happening. She's only remorseful that her classmate's sickness got her in the situation she's in. Because of course she can only think of herself. I was about to have some sympathy for her when she got literally sexually assaulted by her crush but nope of course even though she points out how stupid it is to still love him she does despite the fact they have interacted twice and half of those times were literally sexual assault. It ONLY took him figuratively calling her a cow for her to realize, yeah, maybe she shouldn't like him, let alone love him. And STILL she's clinging onto that fantasy. I cannot with this damn book. The sole reason it only took me a day to read this is because I wanted to get it over with as fast as possible, like ripping off a blood-thirsty Band-Aid. It doesn't help or heal me in the slightest, only yearns for my misery and suffering. Maybe she is so insufferable because of the disappearance of this "Emily" chick. If so, it's been subtlely hinted at actually pretty well. Still doesn't excuse her behavior, though. Not to mention, the people in Danielle's life really aren't that bad, except for the one who she has a crush on and Heather. You can tell the author went for a "No filter on realistic thoughts" approach, but if there are people on Earth that actually have thoughts like these, I definitely don't want to meet them. There's a difference between having a bad day and thus being upset and pure bitterness being the base of your personality. What's worse about the Jacob (crush) touching her situation is that no one is seeing it as they should: Molestation. She gave no consent, she obviously didn't want it, and he did it anyway without hesitation. But Jacob, in this book, isn't in the wrong at all; what was supposedly wrong with the entire situation is that "It's embarrassing for HIM because she's slightly overweight"???? Are you fucking kidding me? Now the author is pissing me off hard, basically ignoring the severity of the situation and romanticizing it so she can have an "intimate moment" with her crush or whatever. Disgusting and ridiculous. And her only "friend" is vehemently perverted and vile for no reason. And she doesn't even remember him from a previous school. He even went out of his way to reach out to her after she moved. I know cutting yourself off from a previous life, people included, is a coping mechanism, but if she had even a smidge of foresight, maybe she could've maintained at least one friend throughout the struggle of loss. I have no sympathy or empathy for her. She just shoots herself in the foot over and over, cutting all of the possible excuses she could have down with her stupidity. And we are all just going to ignore her VERY dramatic mental breakdown, where she ran away from Daniel screaming four miles to get house, destroyed her mother's roses, and literally ate dirt? Aight. And, of course, she has a totally unrealistic night, consisting of Daniel staying the night on a school night despite both sets of parents not knowing either family and her family only knowing Daniel for a day and them wrestling and SLEEPING together, but, despite all of that happiness, she makes sure we know she is still SOOOO miserable. Literally her words. There are just some people in this world that can never be satisfied, and then they complain about the cycle they put themselves in. Direct quote, "If I had to have a syndrome, I think I would like to have that [Tourette's] one, but Daniel said I'm being very shortsighted with that view, that Tourette's is nothing to shout about. He's funny." I... Wow. Like I said, complete lack of nuance. And, of course, our ever idiotic and selfish main character lies about having a boyfriend to take to the prom and dedicated herself to asking Daniel to pretend to be her boyfriend for the prom. So contrived, so terrible, so predictable, so unnecessary. I'm, on the other hand, so done. The author acts like OCD is a fucking personality disorder. It's like the author just assumes that all mental disorders are the same, and that's through one reoccurring trait: Psychoticism. So ridiculous and disrespectful. You can tell they did no research and just used it as a marketing tactic. And, of course, like the shithead she is, for no reason, our protag commits the illegal activity of smoking marijuana under the legal age and/or without a medical card just for shits and giggles with no regrets or apologies. The only genuinely good portion of the book was when they were stoned. At least there was one brief break from my pain. And, of course, Danielle doesn't deserve a friend like Daniel. She knows he is gay, and they had one mutual kiss, but then she kisses him again without consent just to cover up her own mistakes and lies which no one gives a shit about in the first place. If it was anyone else, friendship done there. She is so lucky he doesn't give a crap. She is so disrespectful. You don't just kiss your gay friend to cover for a petty lie and expect them to go along with it flawlessly. And for nothing, literally nothing. So stupid. The Emily thing is messed up and you can see gradual character growth through the story, and that is why this review is barely a two star instead of one. Barely. I think that's the mortal flaw of this book. The main clearly has separate mental health issues aside from OCD, but the author only acknowledges that one as present, so all of her issues are funneled into one term. It's horrible. Her mental health should have been delved into more, so much more. And, of course, more research on the author's part. But, I will admit, the ending was very nicely wrapped; and a line even got an audible chuckle out of me. So there's something. Still, overall, I do NOT recommend this book to anyone. Damn. The book was shit but the ending was executed so well. What a shame; so much wasted potential. It was so good I almost considered jumping to three stars. Unfortunately, the huge flaws eclipse the terrific conclusion. How unfortunate. In the end, I do understand the majority of her behavior throughout the novel due to her experiences, despite the fact it's hair-pullingly frustrating. What I can not forgive is the author's mistake of veiling the mental disorders that should've been addressed with OCD. This book could've been so, so good, just by adjusting that one mistake. And, yet, we have this. It's almost poetic. Note: I wrote this review over the course of the day it took me to read the book. If it is choppy, that is why, and I don't respect the story enough to make it cohesive.

[Clementine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Danielle Levine goes to an alternative high school, but even there, she doesn’t feel as though she belongs. She’s got giant orange hair, a big body, and what her teachers and parents call a “unique learning profile.” Throughout the course of her senior year, Danielle does some major growing, and she documents it all (sometimes inappropriately) through essays for her English class. Over the course of the year, Danielle meets Daniel, another misfit who just might become her closest friend.

There are things that work in Lauren Roedy Vaughn’s debut, and there are things that are less successful. But what does work, works very well. In Danielle, Vaughn has crafted a memorable character with an authentic, oftentimes very funny voice. Danielle is funny, frank, and totally relatable.

Another great thing Vaughn presents in this funny mixed-media novel are the relationships Danielle has with the flawed, kind adults in her life. Danielle has a good relationship with her parents, who are supportive, and an even closer relationship with her quirky, vintage-shopping-obsessed aunt. Her relationship with her English teacher evolves over the course of the novel, too, which is fun to watch as a reader.

There’s a lot to love in Vaughn’s characters, which is what makes the book’s flaws harder to swallow. The first of which is fairly superficial, but has deep ramifications for readers. Throughout the book, Danielle agonizes over her “plus-size” body, lamenting the fact that she is a size 12 (but wait). In a later reveal, her aunt reminds her that she’s actually a size 8. All of this sends a very confusing message to readers, and specifically to teenage girls, who the novel is supposed to be for.

Look, this reader understands that much of this obsession is in the mind of Danielle herself and is supposed to indicate her body insecurities. But the fact remains that neither of the sizes–Danielle’s perceived one and her actual one–are actually plus size. Furthermore, this kind of body talk is incredibly triggering to readers who are insecure about their own size. This is definitely a case where specific sizes should have been left out of the narrative.

Perhaps the book’s weakest point is the big reveal about the underlying cause or catalyst of Danielle’s OCD. While this won’t bother all readers, it almost felt like too easy of an out for explaining Danielle’s mental illness. Something about this didn’t sit right with this reader.

Still, all in all, this was a funny, smart read. It’s guaranteed to find some fans, and Vaughn is definitely a fresh voice in the YA world.

OCD, the Dude, and Me by Lauren Roedy Vaughn. Dial: 2013. Library copy.

[Suad Shamma · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was sorely disappointed by this book, and found it to be a waste of my time. The synopsis sounded a lot more interesting than the actual story. There was no depth, very little characterization and it was completely one-dimensional. Books are really hard to read when you don't like the protagonist, and I did not like Danielle. At all.

So she supposedly has OCD, although we don't really delve into that much. The book is comprised of letters and essays and emails and diary entries, most of which were poorly written. I just did not find any of it believable. From the very first page/essay, I wanted to throw the book out the window. Who uses "LOL" in their academic papers? Who writes like an immature child? And thing is, as the book progresses, and after the teacher's feedback, you'd think she gets it, but no. Nothing changes. I guess the little things annoyed me, but that is only because those were the things worth getting annoyed about as everything else was just silly and uninspiring.

So Danielle, who had a horrible experience in the past, develops OCD, is not very popular, anti-social and gets picked on a lot in school. She complains about being fat non-stop. I mean...NON-STOP. To the point of having the boy she's madly in love with "moo" her in public (because apparently being a size 12 means you're a fat cow) and having her breakdown because of this experience.

I read a lot of YA novels, and even though I am not a teenager, I tend to love these books and relate to these characters, because while I may not be a teeanger now, I was a teenager once. Furthermore, I have two younger teenage sisters who go through all the same experiences girls their age go through. And yet I found this book to be utterly silly.

It came off as trying so hard to be like Perks of Being a Wallflower, but it failed miserably. Where Charlie wrote letters that seemed childlike, but were filled with emotion, depth, provoking thoughts and great ideas, Danielle delivers writing that is immature, trivial and meaningless. Perks left me out of breath, OCD left me bored. And mildly annoyed.

[Yari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is a collection of essays, journal entries and emails mostly written by the main character Danielle- making it a fun read. Danielle is a broken person who finds healing from other broken people. It was great but sometimes painful to see the process of her maturing and healing. She reminded me of my younger self in a lot of ways. I found myself rooting for her. I also adored Justine. She's the humble sage - a friend you could only dream of having. Con: Not sure why she's considered plus size- shes a size 8!!! This only encourages poor body image. And I like Daniel's character in a cautious way though - granted that he was key in "saving" Danielle from herself but still, why the drugs? The story made it permissible & an expected way to cope with life and socialize. Even when caught smoking, Ms. Harrison kept silent. And his weird obsession with the confessional was just... weird. I must say, however, that the poetry and some of the writing was beautiful. Quote: "I like real words. I should have been born in another era where people wrote letters and socialized over lemonade... shrouded in mystery under elaborate hats and layers of clothing. All their talk floats away along the path of smoke. Maybe remembered but really gone. Each person can keep what they want. I see most photographs today and all I can think about is newspaper articles, grieving, and a frozen moment in time. Photographs are cruel that way. A photograph captures a moment of truth that can't be undone and makes it live on and on. They are reprinted, reloaded, posted, downloaded over and over and over again. They resurface and wound." This quote is made clear when we learn the event that triggered Danielle's OCD, which was well written. All in all - the story is above being 'just ok'.

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

OCD, the Dude, and Me is the story of Danielle Levine, who is attending a new, alternative high school for her senior year and, as the title suggests, suffers from OCD. I had been intrigued by this title for a bit and when I saw this book on some best of the year list, I decided to pick it up.

For me, the character of Danielle fell a little flat, but I have to give the author credit because there were several times this book made me laugh out loud. I would definitely try another book by this (debut) author. Although I can obviously accept all kinds of impossible things in fiction (science fiction and fantasy, hello!), there were some things in this realistic story that were major stretches for me. (To name a few, the surprise guest at Danielle's graduation, that the traumatic incident she experienced was the sole cause of her OCD, her fast and close friendship with Daniel even though she hasn't had a single friend for years, etc.)

Although I liked the idea of the format of essays and journal entries, it didn't quite work for me. Still this all said, it was a pretty quick read and mostly enjoyable. I might recommend it to high school kids who are looking for books about people with mental health issues/suffering from a traumatic event, and oddly, looking for a lighter read. Even though there is some heavy content in this book, I found it to actually read as a pretty humorous and sort of ultimately happy book.

[Aneirys · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another lovely book about self loving and self worth. The protagonist life was portrait base on letters and essays, but they were so detailed written that they were able to create a great visual image of the events that occurred in the novel. They also help us achieve a deeper connection with the protagonist. I like the intimacy we were able to get and the honest powerful message it was portrait.

It is somehow difficult for me to read a book about mental problems. I can always find a piece of myself in them. This book broke me a little bit. In the final chapters I kept pausing and reflecting toward my own life, toward the choices I have made thanks to my own personal barriers. How some people tell me I was creating for so much more, but I couldn’t never see myself like that. Well this book made me see, made me try to find the reasons for my barriers. And even though I’m still a bit clueless as for how my barriers were created, I can understand I need to wreck those barriers in order to have the life I’m suppose to live. I didn’t want this book to end but at the same time it was difficult to read it without having this ache in my chest.

[Nina O'Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

Danielle is an ugly, red-haired, fat, senior in high school who is destined to be crazy and have no friends. Well, at least that is the way she sees herself. Others who know her would disagree. They would say she is a smart, articulate, an amazing writer, a size 8, and had a horrible tragedy take place in front of her that has left her somewhat, well, crazy.

Danielle’s story takes place during her senior year through various English class essays, personal journal entries, emails, and short notes to her shrink, Marv. She has some issues with social skills, OCD, and likes to hide in bathrooms under piles of towels with special hats and matching Chuck Taylors to calm herself down during panic attacks. The good news is she has amazing parents (she’s adopted), an uber fabulous fashion designer aunt, and a new best friend, Daniel, whom she met in her social skills class.

As you read and get into Danielle’s head, you understand that the person she sees and the person you are reading about are two different ones. Not knowing what the “incident” was that created these changes in her will keep you reading, hoping for her to see how good she really is will keep you reading, and at the end, hugs all around.

[Bella · Rating 3 out of 5]

*spoilers a tiny bit*

rating: 4.5/10

I was very on the line about this book. It's not a romantic plotline- which is amaxingly refreshing after being forcefed love triangle after badly written love triangle, but at the same time, the premise of the main character's emotions and personality is very annoying- she only has OCD due to a very traumatic experience, which pissed me off- because god forbid she was simply born with a disorder that affects such a huge group of people so deeply. It is only after she reads an essay on her disorder to her class that they accept her- like they need some reason to not judge her, besides basic human kindness.
Secondly, she thinks she's fat. Like, fat fat fat. she says she's ugly, eith rolls of fat over stomach and chunky thighs and arms the size of treetrunks- FAT.
she's a flipping size eight.
Really? what kind of a message is that sending to teenage girls? SIZE 8 IS NOT FAT EVERYBODY. NEWS FRIGGIN FLASH.
thirdly, the writing was really bad. it may be that the author wanted to sound like a girl writing her diary, but it made me want to punch myself in the face.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book because it mentioned the dude and a bowling ball, and I immediately thought "that's like the big lebowski!" So I added it to the ever growing pile of books I'm going to read, but it's shiny yellow cover was calling my name.
This book was good, even great, but I had a few problems, maybe just one problem, with it. What was Danielle's problem? She was sooooooooo whiny!!! And she wasn't overweight or plus sized! She was only a size 8-12 (it never made it clear in the book...).
I'm a size 16 and rather tall, and I have no confidence issues. If people don't like the way I look then they shouldn't look at me.
Let me end this rant now before it goes to far....

Aside from my problem stated above, this book was pretty good. I liked Daniel, Aunt Joyce, and even Marv. Read it if you like interesting formats and kind of realistic teenage novels.

[Brandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

(a) Danielle does not appear to be in any way OCD, in spite of the occasional reference to flicking a light switch multiple times. Major anxiety issues, yes. PTSD from an event in junior high, very likely. OCD? I doubt it.

(b) At one point toward the end she mentioned prom or graduation and I was completely confused, because she's only in 9th or 10th grade. Nope, she's really a senior, but reads much lower than that.

(c) The Big Lebowski becomes very important to Danielle in the last third or so of the book, but without much explanation of why it resonates with her so much.

Overall: not one I'd recommend to teens; those interested based on the title would be better steered toward Lexapros and Cons (which had a similar thing going with the Chuck Taylors and did it far better).

[Kristy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I liked the overall plot and style of this book, I was really irritated by the "fat" main character who was revealed to be a size 8. I understand that girls (especially teenage girls) are very prone to self-condemnation when it comes to body size, but I felt like this author was enforcing the idea that someone who is a freaking size 8 is chubby at best, disturbingly fat at worst. Seriously? Great way to encourage self-esteem. Also, like other reviewers have mentioned, OCD was not really a serious issue here, regardless of the title. I won't even get into that. There are some great comments below on this topic. Overall, the book kept my interest, but ticked me off in major ways in the process.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A chubby redhead protagonist like in Eleanor and Park, meeting an intriguing dude in a teen group therapy setting like The Fault in Our Stars, told in a series of school assignments and journal entries that reminded me of the voice of Ruby Oliver in The Boyfriend List. And the OCD characteristics and social worries of the main character reminded me of Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You. I don't like the title or the cover art.