What do you think?
Rate this book
How Not to Poach a Unicorn
The deepest darkest prison on the planet is not where anyone would choose to start their day, particularly when they have a job to do.
A princess and her personal guards, fighting to stop a war, arrested for trespassing; an expert assassin, stalking a merciless wizard, arrested for poaching; and a confused boy, utterly lost and severely concussed, arrested for failing to adequately explain who he was or how he came to be lying in a sizable crater.
Together this unlikely, and somewhat unwilling, band of allies will perform daring escapes and battle an onslaught of mages, monsters, and malodorous thieves as they race across a continent to save two nations from mutual annihilation.
A princess and her personal guards, fighting to stop a war, arrested for trespassing; an expert assassin, stalking a merciless wizard, arrested for poaching; and a confused boy, utterly lost and severely concussed, arrested for failing to adequately explain who he was or how he came to be lying in a sizable crater.
Together this unlikely, and somewhat unwilling, band of allies will perform daring escapes and battle an onslaught of mages, monsters, and malodorous thieves as they race across a continent to save two nations from mutual annihilation.
- GenresFantasy
180 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 19, 2012
2 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
About the author
R.A. Consell
6 books64 followersR. A. Consell is a Canadian author living and in Ontario. He is a writer of fantasy fiction, a nerd culture critic, science consultant, costumer, prop builder, and engineering instructor.
He has been featured in Game Developer Magazine, Kotaku, The Mary Sue, and Bully Pulpit Games. He also consulted on The Science of Game of Thrones by Hellen Keen.
He has been featured in Game Developer Magazine, Kotaku, The Mary Sue, and Bully Pulpit Games. He also consulted on The Science of Game of Thrones by Hellen Keen.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 23, 2021
It was hilarious and loads of fun! Some scenes had me laughing out loud and making faces. The characters are all so delightful. It was also wonderfully written. I learned a lot about writing from reading it.
It just got a bit confusing for me towards the end because of all the parties involved in the story by the end of it.
It just got a bit confusing for me towards the end because of all the parties involved in the story by the end of it.
April 1, 2014
More twists and turns than a labyrinth!
How to describe this book? Like parachuting into a tornado while fighting off a horde of baboons and keeping four tea cups balanced on your nose at the same time. Insanely ridiculous and wildly funny looking. Prag, Kish, Cari, Kaze and the boy with no name blast off the pages with fierce sword play, lots of make up and no small amount of dirt and blood. The ending was truly a surprise and I didn't see it coming. There is nothing orderly or dependable about this book, as in the way a plot like this is supposed to run is completely ignored and something totally new and original is written. Which is a good thing.
If you want to read a good story, go find something else.
If you want a wild ride on a windmare that may get you killed, eaten or otherwise incapacitated, or else fight a swamp troll and revids in your jammies, then this is the book for you. :)
How to describe this book? Like parachuting into a tornado while fighting off a horde of baboons and keeping four tea cups balanced on your nose at the same time. Insanely ridiculous and wildly funny looking. Prag, Kish, Cari, Kaze and the boy with no name blast off the pages with fierce sword play, lots of make up and no small amount of dirt and blood. The ending was truly a surprise and I didn't see it coming. There is nothing orderly or dependable about this book, as in the way a plot like this is supposed to run is completely ignored and something totally new and original is written. Which is a good thing.
If you want to read a good story, go find something else.
If you want a wild ride on a windmare that may get you killed, eaten or otherwise incapacitated, or else fight a swamp troll and revids in your jammies, then this is the book for you. :)
January 10, 2013
My first fantasy novel. Only got a bit confused a couple of times, other than that, a very enjoyable read.
August 18, 2013
This book is not virtuous, lovely or praiseworthy, so don't seek after it.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews