Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps: How to understand and follow a recovery programme

by Melody Beattie

New from the bestselling author of Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency--the important guide to using the Twelve Steps specifically for codependent issues. Includes tips on how to evaluate programs, a practical guide to each of the Twelve Steps, plus specific exercises and activities to use both in group settings and on one's own.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Relationships, Spirituality, Personal Development

273 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

Melody Beattie was an American self-help author best known for her groundbreaking work on codependency. Born in 1948 in Minnesota, she endured a traumatic childhood marked by abuse and early substance addiction. After achieving sobriety, she became a licensed addiction counselor and began writing to help others navigate emotional recovery. Her 1986 book Codependent No More became a bestseller, selling eight million copies and helping to bring the concept of codependency into mainstream awareness. Over her career, she authored 18 books, including Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and Make Miracles in Forty Days. Though her work is often associated with Co-Dependents Anonymous, her books were independent of the program.
Beattie’s personal life reflected many of the struggles she addressed in her work, including four marriages and the loss of a son. Her writing often drew from her own experiences with grief, addiction, and healing. In early 2025, she was forced to evacuate her Malibu home due to wildfires and died shortly after at her daughter’s home in Los Angeles from heart failure.

Reviews

[Meen · Rating 2 out of 5]

OK, you can read all my caveats about 12 Step lit on my reviews of the Big Book and the 12 & 12, but if I was gonna HAVE to do the 12 Steps, I would do them from this book b/c she makes a point of saying that it doesn't have to done exactly as AA Nazis tell you it does, and you can even not have a diety, especially not a male one, as a Higher Power! :)

[Donna Waggener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good for people working a 12 step program

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

'how recovery programs work. finding the rt one for you. interpreting 12 steps specifically for codependent issues. explains @ step & how to apply to your issues. individual & group exercises & activities.'

everything Melody Beattie does is worth reading. she is for the soul what Stormie Omartian is for the spirit!

[Gia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read, the author isn't up on a holier-than-thou pedestal, she makes no assumptions about your concept of a higher power. Great program tool for all friends of Lois and Bill. The questions at the end of each chapter are wonderful tools for working the step. Thank you to the author.

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful, good guidance.

[Marilyn Diamond · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my other bible must read.,

[Sandy Burkett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous journey for anyone who is sick and tired of being sick and tired! Melody is a fabulous story teller, writer and guide through the steps to transformation.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

the best 12 step literature I've read. written to a wide audience and how to apply the 12 steps to different symptoms while showing the 'causes and conditions' of our soul sicknesses

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully written and a definitive must have for people in recovery.

[Hilary "Fox" · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yet another Melody Beattie book. Luckily this one was far superior to Stop Being Mean to Yourself and more along the level of helpfulness that books like Codependent No More occupy. Or perhaps a nice mixture between that and Choices. It's a good workbook, with an ample bibliography at the end to help anyone delve deeper into whatever area of focus they feel would be most helpful for themselves.

The Twelve Steps are commonly viewed as ways to break addictions such as Alcoholism or Narcotics abuse. The Twelve Steps related in this book are a way to reframe your world so that you can learn to live with, and correct, Codependent Behavior. Each chapter details a Step and how to Work it effectively and incorporate it into your own life. Each chapter ends with Activities. This is a complete workbook, an even includes glossaries, groups, books, and other helpful resources at the end.

I would be hardpressed to criticize this book at all. I believe that it is a valuable resource and that most people would be able to benefit from the advice therein. Even if you do not suffer from codependent behaviors, reading this book could help you understand better the people in your life who do and how to relate with them more effectively.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The journey has not been easy. It has been good, but sometimes difficult. Sometimes I believe the good parts have been harder than the pain. Despite my success, things still don't always work out the way I want. But they happen as they are meant to happen. And I am still in awe of what happens when I let go. And comfort is always available. I am trusting that God will keep directing me in this journey."

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read this through a number of times in group settings. Each time, I still get a lot of ideas on how to improve my relationships with others and how I treat myself.

[Kevin Milhorn · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a good book and worth reading, but not my favorite of Melody's books so far.

[Ladonda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Melody Beattie never disappoints. A friend recommended this to me and I enjoyed it. It made some points as it relates to the 12 Steps and how they apply to codependent recovery vs. addictions and it was very informative; Step 4 and Step 12 were particularly enlightening. All good interesting stuff. If you haven't read this one, are familiar with 12 steps program, and think you might be codependent, reading this is a must.

[John Donohue · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was brilliant when first read but time has made it less so

[Phoebe firingstoney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't wait to read it

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anything Melody Beattie is 5 stars.

[Ellen Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Transformative.

[Turquoise Brennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needed this read right now for sure -

[Michelle Linford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life-changing book for me. Highly recommend to anyone struggling with codependency.

[Nannette Serra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this book a long time ago and I remember that I didn't like it. Looks like I didn't really finish it.