The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists

The Pirates! #1

by Gideon Defoe

Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.

Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure.

While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Pirates, Adventure, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Comedy

225 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Gideon Defoe never meant to become an author. When Defoe bumped into a woman he had pursued during his time studying archaeology and anthropology at Oxford, they began chatting about what they were up to. Realising that his job temping for Westminster council was not going to win him any romantic points, he told her that he was writing a novel. She asked to see it, at which point he found that he really was writing a novel. His manuscript was originally circulated among friends, who photocopied it and passed it on until, eventually, it fell into the hands of a literary agent.

He was raised by his mother in the south of England. His late father wrote thrillers that featured a lot of sexy Russian spies seducing middle-aged men uncannily like him.

His mother says he is a direct descendant of Daniel Defoe. He says he won't be convinced until he has seen the family tree.

Reviews

[Antonomasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It may be a parody of a type of kids' adventure novel I never actually read, but that didn't stop it being one of the most hilarious things I've read this year (and unquestionably the funniest in book form). For anyone happening to notice this post later, yes, okay, it is only late February. Also made me feel like a kid again because I read it in two hours without its being any effort. (Unfortunately, style does make a tremendous difference to reading speed for me, and solemn little literary novellas of similar word count easily take twice as long, or more, unless I actively try to speed-read.) So sad to return afterwards (especially after reading it first thing in the morning, having woken early) to the world of being a grown-up and facing things like reading solemn little literary novellas I signed up for as ARCs, and news about Donald Trump, and organising and paying for everything for oneself, and all the worryingly important things that might go wrong.

The author is a friend of friends, so it's probably not surprising that the humour was very much my sort of thing. Pirates alternating between happy-go-lucky bloodthirstiness and behaving like the seven-year-old boys who pretend to be them in playground games: e.g. running round a museum shop wearing dinosaur masks and roaring: just one example of the charmingly cheerful deliberate anachronism which infests the book, and evidently the whole series. The obvious intelligence behind its selection makes it infinitely more enjoyable than the pedantic nitpicking I used to do as a kid when I encountered a poorly-researched historical book. There are informative footnotes about tangentially barely-relevant modern issues, such as the potentially endangered genetic nature of bananas, or how WWF wrestlers are specially trained and you shouldn't imitate them. Or detailed instructions on how to make cocktails. A list of Comprehension Questions at the end includes: On "The Late Show", one of the critics, who has a face that looks like it's made of mallow, said to Germaine Greer, 'I wish there were more of Black Bellamy in "The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists", he was the best character ever.' Would you agree with this assessment?

British adults near the author's age will probably get more of the jokes than anyone else - having, for example, been around during the late-80s yoyo craze whose tricks he names - but the sort of 10-12 year old who appreciates Terry Pratchett would love this, and similarly, there are parents (perhaps more often American than British) who'd think it wasn't quite suitable... although it has nothing on Horrible Histories.

Buying several of an author's books without having read any often turned out to be a mistake for me (and is something I now rarely do). However, in this instance I'm delighted to have three more of this series around; this one was way more fun than I hoped.

[Thibault Busschots · Rating 4 out of 5]

When the Pirate Captain’s rival Black Bellamy says he’s heard of a ship that’s supposed to be full of gold, the Pirate Captain knows that he’s in for the adventure of a lifetime. The name of said ship: the Beagle.


This is fun. The Pirate Captain getting tricked into going after Darwin’s ship is just the start of the adventure, as the two team up and go to London. The core of this story is the comedy, and there is a lot of it to enjoy. This ranges from pirate trope jokes to the unlikely friendship between Darwin and the Pirate Captain. Mister Bobo is easily one of the highlights of this story. And of course one shouldn’t forget the many mentions of ham! The characters and the mystery plot in London are what ties all these funny scenes together in an amusing little pirate story, and it’s a great start to a funny series.


My Goodreads friend Barbara recently talked about book candy in a review of hers. Then I wondered what kind of book candy I had read over the years. For some reason, this lighthearted funny pirate series was the first that came to mind. Since I hadn’t written any reviews for this series yet, I decided to read it again. And so far, I’m glad I did.

[Toby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Words To Consider Before Embarking on A Piratical Adventure With Scientists:

Lubber

Pirate

Ham

Starboard

Sloop

Galley

If you feel you are not yet ready to become entangled with these and other similar words you may want to spend a week in your local library's section on Pirates! for Dummies before picking this book up.

Aaarghh! That scurby knave, Gideon Defoe, is some sort of comedy genius, his debut novel reads like a Frankenstein's monster-type creation that is part Lemony Snicket, part Douglas Adams, part Terry Pratchett with a dash of Monty Python thrown in for luck. It is a wonderful celebration of contemporary and classic British humour with the added bonus of starring luxuriantly bearded pirates and upon completion I would describe my mood as (c) excitable.

There is a not so subtle scene featuring a wrestling match between a scientifically created Man-panzee and a human created "Holy Ghost" and asks important scientific questions such as "who is the tallest pirate in the world?" I especially liked seeing which pirates were selected to walk the plank in to shark infested waters and how the main theme of the book is ham.

For those of you love a map this one features two, one on the inside of each cover, helpful for discovering the location of "The Tent With An Out Of Control Teen" and how to avoid sailing in to that great big compass in the corner of the Atlantic.

This was recently turned in to a movie by Aardman studios and quite unashamedly I am here today to admit my only prior knowledge of this book comes from having seen that movie several times. It's quite brilliantly funny, being simultaneously completely different yet entirely the same as the novel, a rare feat and provides you with two entirely separate adventures to burst your sides over.

I've seen this sold as a children's book and I've seen it categorised as Young Adult but unless the version with the movie poster as it's cover is abridged in some way I don't think I would advise giving this to a child, teenagers perhaps, but not children; there are multiple deaths throughout (including a fair maiden who takes a cannon ball to the head) and a fair amount of running through with cutlasses. But a pirate adventure without several people run through by cutlasses would be like asking a pirate not to eat ham, cruel and unusual.

If you stumble across this in any format I assure you that you will have a great time and if you;re ever looking for a gift for somebody there's no way you can go wrong with a book about pirates with luxuriant beards, especially if they are the significant hipster in your life.

[Melki · Rating 5 out of 5]

'That's enough of that, my beauties!' he roared. 'Let's set a course' - at this point the Pirate Captain paused in what he hoped would be a dramatic and exciting fashion - 'for adventure!'

The crew just gave him a bit of a collective blank look. The Pirate Captain sighed.

'All right.' he said with a pout, 'south.'

Oh, but it IS adventure the pirates blunder into as they help Charles Darwin and his Man-panzee get accepted by Victorian high society and everything.

Here's the hilarious account of their nautical hijinks - from sleeping in hammocks that leave a criss-cross pattern on your buttocks to a visit to the Royal Society strip club - these pirates know how to live (and sometimes die!)

Join the fun as they sing shanties and occasionally dress as ladies.

As an added bonus, the book is chock full of sciency-stuff and mostly factual footnotes.

Aarrr.' roared the Pirate Captain, because it seemed a good way to end the conversation.

AND, the book review.

[Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

"What's the best bit about being a pirate? It's the shanties!"



"The Bishop of Oxford is clearly alarmed that my Manpanzee might steal his Elephant Man's thunder. So he denounced my ideas as blasphemous—he even said there was a bit in the Bible about how it was a sin to dress a monkey up in a waistcoat, but when asked for the page reference he claimed to have forgotten."

"The Pirate Captain wasn't sure what a meteorologist did, but he suspected it was something boring."



On inventing a dirigible . . .
'For? What is all science “for”!' exclaimed the scientist. 'Pushing back frontiers! The thrill of discovery! Advancing the sum total of human knowledge and endeavor! And looking down ladies' tops.'

'Scurvy Jake!' said the Pirate Captain, evidently glad to see his former comrade. 'I haven't seen you since that incident on Madagascar!' 'Aaarrr! I was sure they were girls!' said Scurvy Jake with an apologetic shrug.



Rather than write a formal review of such a humorous story I have instead reprinted some of the best quotes.

Enjoy!

[Vic Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was looking for something fluffy and light after the emotional battering of "Never Let Me Go" and Gideon Defoe's "The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists" hit the spot.

The plot involves pirates, The Beagle, Charles Darwin and Capt. FitzRoy. It also includes the Holy Ghost being smacked over the head with a folding chair by Mr. Bobo, Darwin's "Man-panzee" and a daring rescue behind London's Big Ben. Defoe's tale is a steady diet of humor, some of it laugh-out-loud (which is a difficult task for any writer). To be sure, Defoe's pirates are, um, "unique."

Defoe's writing is as unique as his characters. The world he creates is populated with eccentrics who often are a half beat off. His Pirate Captain, our protagonist, is a scurvy dog who isn't exactly sure which is port and which is starboard and relies heavily on his second in command, the pirate with the scarf. Seems Pirate Captain isn't too good with names so it's always "the pirate in green" or "the pirate who's a jock" or "the pirate with the accordion."

"The Pirates" is a swashbuckling good time and the perfect antidote for anyone who's feeling a bit down due to their reading diet.

Aarrrghh, me maties!

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists follows the story of the Pirate captain and his unorthodox crew. On their adventures they meet Charles Darwin and his highly trained and sophisticated “man-panzee” Mister Bobo. Darwin has been banished from London by a rival scientist and manages to convince the Pirate captain to help defeat his enemies.

While this book and the rest of the series is not aimed at children, it comes as a real surprise that the stop animation movie adaption was. I’ve not seen the movie but I can’t imagine a cannon ball ripping through a woman’s head would make for good movie viewing. Having said that I wouldn’t mind seeing that, the humour would be well worth seeing. The humour really relies on clichés and irony, while will make for a very entertaining experience. While the book has the humour there is a visual aspect to some of the jokes that really would work better in a movie.

I think book really reads more like a script for a movie and while it isn’t laid out that way I can’t help but thing that a movie adaptation was the main goal of the author. I know of people who have seen the movie and then went on to enjoy the books and I think that might be the order required. I can’t help think the humour was a cross between Monty Python and Wallace and Gromit, yet again why I think the movie would work better.

While the rest of the book falls into the realms of cliché, this book is all about the humour and nothing else. I would have liked a better plot and better characters but clearly this wasn’t the focus at all. I’m really not sure if I want to continue with this series but for a bit of light reading I might return, but I have so many other books I want to read so I doubt I’ll be back anytime soon.

This review originally appeared on my blog; http://literary-exploration.com/2013/...

[Kurt · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Pirates! is a book for adults (mostly) written in the style of a middle-grade book with footnotes detailing recipes for a good mai-tai and descriptions of pirate shanties about mermaids that put out.

There is a little bit of a plot.

The remarkable (a talking monkey) is mundane.

The mundane (ham) is remarkable.

People die. Especially the pirates with names, like Marcus and Stan. It is gory.

Defoe's relentless silliness can be overbearing if taken in one sitting. This is an excellent chapter-or-two-and-put-the-book-down book.

Also, it is a book by a boy (or an adult who didn't grow up) about boys (pirates!) being boys (pirates!). Girls (and women and mermaids and the occasional pirate ladies) are objects of desire. FYI.

All that means is that it's mostly for boys, but I see from the reviews that many girl (and woman and mermaid and occasional pirate lady) has enjoyed these too.

I will read the next one. And the two after that. But not today.

[Aly (Fantasy4eva) · Rating 3 out of 5]

'and is that.... a treasure map tattooed on your belly?'
'no. it's the periodic table.'

for two days i've been trying to read a book. i've started two and not even got past 30 pages. i picked up a few other books and put them back down. hugely frustrating.

so i went for a pirate book. because of course that makes sense.

apparently it is supposed to be a very funny read. and maybe i just have a lame sense of humour, because i did not laugh once. but it's what i need right now. it is silly - on the verge of stupid at times. (i had many WTF moments, in a good way though) but just plain fun. also a very breezy read. and it's on the short side. yes that helped.

the pirate captain and his crew are looking for treasure when they canon charles darwin and his good mate fitzroy's ship. after our captain starts looking a little sheepish due to finding he's been duped by his rival, he see's that darwin may be a little timid but he's determined to show the world his man-panzee

being the man he is. the captain decides to help. also, darwin's brother has gone missing. and he has a hint that the evil bishop has a little something to do with it.

it's one big adventure with a lot of weirdness. it's not my kind of book. and although some parts were amusing, i didn't find them all that funny. surprisingly, that didn't annoy me like i thought it would. i actually just settled back and stayed for the ride.

and found that i enjoyed it.

that's good enough for me.

[Margie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is quite funny, and also rather sexist. The flyleaf mentions that Defoe wrote the book to try to win over a woman, who spurned him. A minor strain of bitter sexism runs through the book, which is otherwise a fun romp. I'm disappointed, as it would otherwise be a stellar recommendation.
Not for kids.

[Richard Dominguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great little story with lots of laughs and a good ending. Well written, well paced makes this one a fun read.

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This suffered for not amusing me as much as The Cabal Brothers did, which was what I was kind of hoping for, so based on my own misplaced expectations, less fun than I hoped. It was amusing and there were elements I enjoyed but not enough to win me over. In fact, had it been longer, I likely would have put it on pause or dnffed altogether. So, maybe just wasn’t in the mood.

[Eli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hrm. Well the story is cute and sometimes clever. But I kept stumbling over a lot of moments where a woman being murdered is a punchline, or women are treated only as dateable targets. Those jokes never seem to be clever or layered enough to be a critique of anything, and really just feel like a big thread of plain old misogyny throughout.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pir... It is the first in a series of five comedic books following a group of pirates on their adventures. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pir...! I learned of this book *accidentally* on Goodreads - when one signs out, but also has another tab open and signs out again, a message appears telling you that you have done so already - and includes a quote/excerpt from a book. That is how I learned of this book. I looked up the book, which (along with the others in the series) was in my library, so I ordered it. I did find it light entertainment, and may read the others in future. What did occur to me from time to time, was how often the Pirate Captain (1837) (written 2004) reminded me of the Current President (U.S. 2019). From the cover, about the author: *He wrote this book about pirates to impress a girl.* No information that it was successful - but since 4 more books followed, perhaps so! This is the Booklist Review posted on my library's listing *In a style reminiscent of Monty Python and Douglas Adams (or so the publisher asserts) comes this tiny tome from fledgling author Defoe, set in the early 1800s (although filled with anachronisms such as Post-it Notes and dental floss). The adventure begins as the pirate captain (none of the crew have names, just descriptions, such as the "pirate with the red scarf" and the "pirate dressed in green") mistakes Charles Darwin's ship, Beagle, for a treasure ship from the Bank of England and boards it. Darwin's only claim to fame at this point is that he has taught an ape--a Man-panzee by the name of Mr. Bobo--to behave as a proper, albeit speechless, English gentleman. The pirate captain and Darwin, now chums, head back to England to rescue Darwin's brother, who has been abducted by the evil bishop of Oxford. Once in foggy London, the pirates encounter damsels in distress, nefarious schemes, and even the Elephant Man. Aficionados of outre British humor should find this amusing. --Michael Gannon Copyright 2004 Booklist*

[Monika · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best part about this lovely little book about Pirates, and scientists, and nonsense, is that it does what so little humor books, or tv shows, or anything in pop culture dares to do; it is completely designed to make fun of itself.
The whole book reads like a beautiful, witty little joke, and yet; the characters are fun, the plot is followable, and the writing is wonderful. Defoe's book was "written for a girl" who was not successfully wooed by the pirate adventure. That bit of information, whether or not it is true, pretty much sums up the entire attitude of the Pirates! series.
Gideon Defoe thinks it is completely okay to make fun of yourself, and I think he realizes how ridiculous it is to be writing a humor book about pirates and scientists. This makes the book fun, and refreshing in a pop-culture where everybody makes fun of everything else BUT themselves.

[nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fun, silly read. I stumbled across this book by chance and was attracted to it by the title (being in grad school in science and all). After reading the back cover of the book I bought it.

It's complete nonsense and super fun (don't worry, there is a story...it's about pirates! in an adventure with scientists!). It is exactly my type of humor. It's pretty short so it's a nice weekend read (or even just a one-day read).

[Charles · Rating 1 out of 5]

I know it's supposed to be humor, and I'm a very hard sell for humor. It takes a lot to get me to laughing and this one didn't do it for me. Take my comments with a grain of salt, though. A lot of folks seemed to find it funny, but then I didn't care for Douglas Adams either.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book about...PIRATES! Defoe is both creative and funny. Blame it on Disney but I pictured Johnny Depp as the captain. Simply a fun read.

[LoLo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists is such a delightfully fun adventure. The whimsy and wacky fun really recharged my reading batteries. It’s the kind of book that could appeal to almost all ages and everyone could find a little bit of something that they’d love about this book. There’s a lot of piratical adventures, jokes, various preparations of ham and, as the title suggests, a lot of stuff about science.

The Pirates have gone far too long without an adventure and are resorting to in fighting about the best bit about being a pirate – grog, cutlasses, ships biscuits or shanties – and the Pirate Captain must give them a new adventure. The Pirate Captain, while the possessor of a most luxuriant beard, is not the sharpest cutlass on the seven seas and many mishaps and misadventures occur. As people inconveniently drop dead of scurvy, get kidnapped by evil Bishops of Oxford and develop brilliant disguises of pirates dressed as scientists dressed as ladies, every page offers plenty of adventures and giggles.

Just remember though, it’s all fun and games til you’re made to walk the plank in a mass exodus because you haven’t done that in a while and there’s a shortage of beds anyway. Or that, whether you’ve pissed the Pirate Captain off or not, if he’s so inclined he’ll run you through with his cutlass. Also, if you’re about to get crushed in a giant cog, that’s bound to be the time when your only hope of salvation drops dead quite abruptly with scurvy.

With scrapes like these, and a scientifitic battle to the death using the Periodic Table for weaponry, this is one action packed roller coaster ride. I really, really enjoyed this and it’s once again a book I would love to read out to older kids. Or re-enact with the Weasley Twins, because there’d be no end of larks with Magic Pirate Weasley Twins. I’m really looking forward to the next time I need a pick me up read so that I can delve back in to this series.

“I should say we’d reach England by Tuesday or thereabouts, with a decent wind behind us. It would be a lot quicker than that if we could just sail straight there, but I was looking at the nautical charts, and there’s a dirty great sea serpent right in the middle of the ocean! It has a horrible gaping maw and one of those scaly tails that looks like it could snap a boat clean in two. So I thought it best to sail around that.’

FitzRoy frowned. ‘I think they just draw those on maps to add a bit of decoration. It doesn’t actually mean there’s a sea serpent there.’

The galley went rather quiet. A few of the pirate crew stared intently out of the portholes, embarrassed at their Captain’s mistake. But to everyone’s relief, instead of running somebody through, the Pirate Captain just narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

That explains a lot,’ he said. ‘I suppose it’s also why we’ve never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.”

[D.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not ashamed to say I only read this book because I so enjoyed the movie. They are, however, two largely different stories. The movie follows Pirate Captain and his crew of nameless pirate mates on an adventure wherein Darwin is largely a bad guy and the principal villain is Queen Victoria, with a story revolving around a dodo named Polly; the book has Pirate Captain and an only occasionally similar crew of nameless pirate mates on an adventure helping Darwin find his missing brother, and the principal villain is a slighter heavyweight in Victorian society who's working with P.T. Barnum (who never appears).
The humour is still there, but with even more racy and suggestive tone, which makes me wonder just who this book is for. The concept would appeal to fairly young readers, but there are plenty of things here I wouldn't expect (or want) younger than teenagers to get...but can't imagine teenagers being interested. And the whole thing seems beneath the concern of most adults. So, I don't know who has been reading these books, but I'm glad Defoe's writing them.
The writing is fluid and fantastically readable; this is a book a seasoned reader might polish off in a night. If this book put me in mind of anything, it's probably the Hitchhiker's Guide... books, but with pirates: the sense of humour is similar, the freehanded treatment of characters, science and reality in general likewise.
This is an outlandish book, and a fun read, but strictly for an amusing, no-mind-necessary larf.

[Iain · Rating 5 out of 5]

A light, slim read that is very silly and very funny. A perfect way to escape for an afternoon or evening and have a chuckle.

[Bonnie Morse · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can someone tell me who this book is for? From the title, quotes, and size, I went in expecting a fun elementary-to-middle grade pirate adventure story. Hopefully something I could pass on to all the pirate-crazy kids and teens I know. But it kept getting weirdly uncomfortable whenever a woman appeared, or was even mentioned, and kind of ended up being a mess that's not totally appropriate for anyone. (That I know, at least.)

All of the above features, plus some accurate footnotes on history, science, and general piracy, had me thinking fun kids' book right up until Charles Darwin and the captain of the Beagle set out to duel over Darwin's wife when she's conveniently killed by a pirate cannonball, much to the men's relief, so they toss her overboard and join the pirates for an adventure. I'm not saying every book always has to contain a perfect gender balance and represent everyone fairly and equally, but there was way too much casual misogyny going on here for a kid's book. Every woman is a sex object, evil, and/or dead within a page of being introduced. Women pirates get a mention for existing and being fairly bad ass, in a footnote. It used to be common and highly popular for women to exist in books purely as punchlines and punching bags, but this book is too new and too advanced in literally every other way for it to not be weirdly obvious.

It's also more overtly sexual than I expected, since I didn't read the back cover. More's the pity, too, since if I had, I wouldn't have read it in the first place. The, for want of a better word, teaser is written in the form of a letter from The Pirate Captain and begins:

Dear Reader,
I am choosing to picture you as an attractive young woman, about nineteen, perhaps reading this 150 years from now, while in bed wearing just a daring negligee, tanned thighs stretched out on those silk sheets of yours.

So, yeah, maybe not a little kid's book? But at the same time, the writing style, jokes, plot, footnote facts, etc., are all way too banal and simplistic for an adult. My best guess at the target audience would be boys aged 9 to 14 who read below grade level and already hate women. I hope that's not what the author was aiming for, but dog knows it's a big market.

[Sam Quixote · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some Pirates set off on an adventure with Charles Darwin, to exhibit his new discovery - the Manpanzee, a chimp who understands basic etiquette and wears a suit - and save his brother Erasmus from the evil Bishop.

The book's comparisons to Blackadder are very generous, while the book is obviously written in a comical tone, it doesn't square up to the wit of Ben Elton and Richard Curtis' scripts.

It doesn't care about characters so much, none of the pirates have names and are called simply "the Pirate Captain" and "the Pirate with a scarf", and so on. It doesn't care about plot or story, it just kind of meanders from one thing to the next, seemingly at random. History is skewered as 17th century pirates mingle in Victorian London and speak in a 21st century vernacular.

Basically the novel is absolute rubbish and was apparently written to impress a girl the author liked to convince her to leave her boyfriend (she didn't).

But while the novel is utter crap, it should be required reading for anyone aspiring to become a novelist themselves because as you read it you're thinking "THIS counts? THIS can get published? That's amazing, now that load of cobblers I put together in a few weeks stands as much a chance as any!". If the bar is this low, anyone can make it over, and anyone reading this would gain the confidence to complete their projects knowing that whatever they're writing, it stands as much a chance of getting picked up by Hollywood and made into a movie.

One star for the book, another for the positive impact its existence is likely to have on writers with self-doubt.

[Colleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Relentlessly unfunny. I see a lot of people liked this book which is why I got it, and I had such high high hopes, because I see there's a bunch of them, but count me out. Dad jokes, dad jokes everywhere. This is typical for the humor:
"'So there's two pirate boats sailing towards each other,' said the short pirate with the thick black spectacles, 'and one of the boats is carrying all this blue paint. And the other pirate boat is carrying all this red paint. They crash, and you know what happened?'
'What happened?'
'They were marooned! Ha-ha! You see?'"

It's one joke and set-up like the above nonstop. Things that could potentially be funny were beaten dead before the horse got a few trots in. It's weird because it feels almost like a middle-school YA novel mixed with some Highlights pirate paint by number and some inappropriate bro-comedy. I hate to say it but Rob Schneider or Adam Sandler needs to run out and get the rights to these books, because there's a perfect role in it for them.

[KB · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Pirates! offers a rich treasure trove of comic piratical adventures, as the wit of author Gideon Defoe gleams like the blade of a cutlass arcing through salty air beneath a brilliant Caribbean sun.

The reader will likely encounter difficulty in choosing a favorite character from among a cast that includes such luminaries as the Pirate Captain, the pirate with a scarf, the pirate with gout, the diffident pirate, the pirate dressed in green, the surly pirate who was dressed in red, the pirate with a nut allergy, the pirate with an accordion, the albino pirate, the pirate with a hook where his hand should have been, Scurvy Jake, and Mister Bobo the Man-panzee.

Any lubber with a taste for clever humor will appreciate this unrelentingly silly and absurd narrative. Intermittent editorial footnotes illuminate the factual context of various aspects of the tale while also further delighting the reader.

Aaaarrrr, this be a good book!

[Pamela (Here to Read Books and Chew Gum) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun(ish), short, some vaguely amusing moments, but easily finished in an hour or two. I enjoyed it but wasn't blown away. I did very much enjoy the footnote facts and the satirical discussion questions at the end. I do now however have an odd craving for ham...

[Bettie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bettie's Books

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed the hardest I have ever laughed while reading a book.

It's outrageous, it's funny, and it has pirates. A quick read for some good comedy, and definitely better than the movie :)

[Ben Arzate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick, funny, and entertaining read.

[belisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

kaç aydır okuyorum ben bile bilmiyorum, ancak bitirebildim, sıkıntıdan ölecektim, bana bu seriyi önerip aldıran arkadaşı esefle kınıyorum :) devamını da okumam haliyle