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Open by Gross And Palmer, Craig And Adam (2013) Paperback
Despite high-minded ideals, temptation always seems to loom around the corner, threatening to derail us into a desperate world of secret behavior and covered-up indiscretions. From families to marriages to businesses, on a scale as global as the credit default swap meltdown or as personal as our last session on the Internet, we are suckers for bad ideas. Why do we so often make poor decisions that can lead to life-shattering results? Why do we promise ourselves to do better only to slide back into our old habits? Why can’t we help ourselves? The time has come for each of us to become accountable. To experience the freedom, peace of mind, and overwhelming self-confidence that come from living a life free of secrets and lies. In every area of our lives, it’s time to go beyond self-help . . . it’s time to get accountable. It’s time to live Open ..
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First published July 30, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
April 17, 2015
I'm between 3 and 4 star on this. This is all about accountability and the courage to be honest. If you are unable to be accountable to yourself, then you need to form an accountable network with people who will ask the hard questions.
I think this had some useful information that could help addictive personalities. People who are trying to do better and be better, and can't quite seem to do it on their own....obviously need something extra. So I appreciated the non-judgmental emphasis this book offered. However, as with everything, this isn't for everyone, but is worth a try before dismissing.
I think this had some useful information that could help addictive personalities. People who are trying to do better and be better, and can't quite seem to do it on their own....obviously need something extra. So I appreciated the non-judgmental emphasis this book offered. However, as with everything, this isn't for everyone, but is worth a try before dismissing.
January 12, 2024
3.5 stars. Good points, although nothing earth-shattering or new. Basically, we all need a support system, and likewise, we all should be offering/being a support system to others.
March 5, 2022
This is a really well done book. I've read plenty of books which mention accountability and touch on the subject, but this is the only book I've come across which has it as the central theme.
Craig Gross does a nice job of first hitting the all important "why?"
This gets the the heart of the matter.
Without the why, the what and the how will eventually fall away.
With that said, he then goes on to explain what accountability is (and what it isn't) and some guiding principles on how it can be done well.
This book is very practical, and isn't for those who are weak or need a crutch, or whatever other falsehoods we perceive about accountability. Accountability is ultimately for everyone who wants to journey with openness with some trusted friends along life's path. It's not just about sins and weak areas either, it's about being reminded of and pushed on towards the goals and dreams we have.
Without regularly making ourselves accountable we all can drift off course.
Accountability will take time, effort and work. But Craig paints a really hope filled and powerful vision of the positive benefits it can bring when done well and consistently.
Craig Gross does a nice job of first hitting the all important "why?"
This gets the the heart of the matter.
Without the why, the what and the how will eventually fall away.
With that said, he then goes on to explain what accountability is (and what it isn't) and some guiding principles on how it can be done well.
This book is very practical, and isn't for those who are weak or need a crutch, or whatever other falsehoods we perceive about accountability. Accountability is ultimately for everyone who wants to journey with openness with some trusted friends along life's path. It's not just about sins and weak areas either, it's about being reminded of and pushed on towards the goals and dreams we have.
Without regularly making ourselves accountable we all can drift off course.
Accountability will take time, effort and work. But Craig paints a really hope filled and powerful vision of the positive benefits it can bring when done well and consistently.
January 12, 2018
Craig is an advocate for beating pornography and has developed a web site called xxxchurch.com to help people monitor their computer behavior. Being accountable can help us overcome addictions but being accountable can also help us improve our lives in all areas.
Accountable groups are important. We don’t have to have our spouse as the accountable person, even though that is important, but some problems in life can be addressed through other trustworthy friends or acquaintances.
Accountable groups are important. We don’t have to have our spouse as the accountable person, even though that is important, but some problems in life can be addressed through other trustworthy friends or acquaintances.
October 3, 2018
To be honest I only picked up this book because Jamie Tworkowski wrote the foreword. This book has helpful ideas if you struggle with accountability, but I really felt this book was written for individuals who struggle with porn addiction or something similar. The author of this book is the founder of XXXchurch so the book references his church and software quite often.
August 5, 2016
Open should come as no surprise to those familiar with Craig Gross' work. The book explore's accountability's usefulness in a variety of areas while also acknowledging possible shortcomings to accountability and promoting tools in order to make one's process and journey more effective. As one who has required accountability for years in my own life, I know it's value, and Open covers the topic well. I have two minor qualms that I will get out of the way, then I will get to some of the book's particular strengths.
First, Open feels like a book written for a church-kind-of-crowd, but Craig attempts to keep it general enough for everyone. This works both for and against him. While I would've liked to see Christ's name and Scripture on every page, I often found myself missing it and wondering when the Christian plugs were going to drop (and a few did here and there). I feel that this is Craig's writing within a self-designated construct: his organization, XXXchurch, has many members and visitors who do not directly espouse the Christian faith, and the author's desire to avoid ostracizing them by writing a book full of "Christianese" is admirable. Of course, those of us who feel the book is speaking to our tribe may feel something is missing. This may be as much of a criticism of me as a reader as it is of him as an author. We Christians are a strange breed. Sometimes we expect those within our camp to constantly give us exactly what we want, and when they do not we decry them for it; of course, at the same time we expect to be salt in the world and a light in the darkness, but when we placate each other we can nullify our ability to reach anyone. Ergo while my criticisms feel valid to me, Craig's attempts to straddle the line truly is understandable and, arguably, necessary.
Second, Craig touches on the subject of accountability on women in his book, but he focuses heavily on male shortcomings and needs, as many of his anecdotes and examples revolve around men. In hinting at the female reader but not spending more direct effort on their plight, I think he does female readers a disservice. Frankly, I would have loved for a female counterpart (rather than another man) to have co-written the book with him. Considering the work that XXXchurch does with women in the porn industry as well as with females who struggle with sexuality in the lust-saturated culture, the gender imbalance of the book is poignant and regrettable. This being put to the side however, I cannot deny that the book can be immensely valuable in the hands of women who are willing to take the extra step and extrapolate the principles therein for their own needs. While women in America, particularly in ministry, have been forced to do this for a very long time (frankly, too long), female readers will find much in the book to process and apply in their walks together. [PLEASE NOTE: Based on feedback I have seen from female readers, I may be off base in this observation. Many of them found that the book spoke DIRECTLY to their gender.]
Those two critiques withstanding, Open covers the topic of accountability with excellence. The text touches on both ideas regarding the virtues of getting honest as well as some of the possible vices that doing so might lead one to inadvertently embrace -- gossip, judgment, excusable behavior because "we're all there", etc. The best of Craig's observations and exhortations comes in the form of his rallying against these things before they start. One thing is certain from reading this book: Craig Gross knows how accountability can go terribly wrong, and he's realistic about recognizing ways to avoid such results. Befitting his nature as something of an upstart, he is very quick to note inherent human tendencies towards sin even as persons attempt to do good; therefore, he not only stresses how accountability can be healthy, but how it can be dangerous if left unchecked. These are aspects of honest fellowship that too few of us consider. These observations "from the trenches" give the book an added measure of quality and validity.
In order to create an ebb and flow to the writing, Gross also gives a variety of stories about those who failed, in a variety of areas, in part due to the absence of accountability. I am finding that exhortative books of this type need these stories; inasmuch as they feel unseemly, they put a face and a consequence on issues and also break up the admonitions--as valuable as they are--into more digestible pieces (a critical concern when writing for modern audiences). These tales of frailty show the reader how something as simple as a weekly phone call can aid one's focus on the finish line rather than the pain of the race, which is the point of it all anyway. We human beings know we are weak and frail, and overcoming our sinful proclivities is a taxing experience; Open encourages us to accept help along the path of better living, while also serving as an aid to others in their journey alongside us.
And what's not to like about that?
First, Open feels like a book written for a church-kind-of-crowd, but Craig attempts to keep it general enough for everyone. This works both for and against him. While I would've liked to see Christ's name and Scripture on every page, I often found myself missing it and wondering when the Christian plugs were going to drop (and a few did here and there). I feel that this is Craig's writing within a self-designated construct: his organization, XXXchurch, has many members and visitors who do not directly espouse the Christian faith, and the author's desire to avoid ostracizing them by writing a book full of "Christianese" is admirable. Of course, those of us who feel the book is speaking to our tribe may feel something is missing. This may be as much of a criticism of me as a reader as it is of him as an author. We Christians are a strange breed. Sometimes we expect those within our camp to constantly give us exactly what we want, and when they do not we decry them for it; of course, at the same time we expect to be salt in the world and a light in the darkness, but when we placate each other we can nullify our ability to reach anyone. Ergo while my criticisms feel valid to me, Craig's attempts to straddle the line truly is understandable and, arguably, necessary.
Second, Craig touches on the subject of accountability on women in his book, but he focuses heavily on male shortcomings and needs, as many of his anecdotes and examples revolve around men. In hinting at the female reader but not spending more direct effort on their plight, I think he does female readers a disservice. Frankly, I would have loved for a female counterpart (rather than another man) to have co-written the book with him. Considering the work that XXXchurch does with women in the porn industry as well as with females who struggle with sexuality in the lust-saturated culture, the gender imbalance of the book is poignant and regrettable. This being put to the side however, I cannot deny that the book can be immensely valuable in the hands of women who are willing to take the extra step and extrapolate the principles therein for their own needs. While women in America, particularly in ministry, have been forced to do this for a very long time (frankly, too long), female readers will find much in the book to process and apply in their walks together. [PLEASE NOTE: Based on feedback I have seen from female readers, I may be off base in this observation. Many of them found that the book spoke DIRECTLY to their gender.]
Those two critiques withstanding, Open covers the topic of accountability with excellence. The text touches on both ideas regarding the virtues of getting honest as well as some of the possible vices that doing so might lead one to inadvertently embrace -- gossip, judgment, excusable behavior because "we're all there", etc. The best of Craig's observations and exhortations comes in the form of his rallying against these things before they start. One thing is certain from reading this book: Craig Gross knows how accountability can go terribly wrong, and he's realistic about recognizing ways to avoid such results. Befitting his nature as something of an upstart, he is very quick to note inherent human tendencies towards sin even as persons attempt to do good; therefore, he not only stresses how accountability can be healthy, but how it can be dangerous if left unchecked. These are aspects of honest fellowship that too few of us consider. These observations "from the trenches" give the book an added measure of quality and validity.
In order to create an ebb and flow to the writing, Gross also gives a variety of stories about those who failed, in a variety of areas, in part due to the absence of accountability. I am finding that exhortative books of this type need these stories; inasmuch as they feel unseemly, they put a face and a consequence on issues and also break up the admonitions--as valuable as they are--into more digestible pieces (a critical concern when writing for modern audiences). These tales of frailty show the reader how something as simple as a weekly phone call can aid one's focus on the finish line rather than the pain of the race, which is the point of it all anyway. We human beings know we are weak and frail, and overcoming our sinful proclivities is a taxing experience; Open encourages us to accept help along the path of better living, while also serving as an aid to others in their journey alongside us.
And what's not to like about that?
March 1, 2017
Good, detailed description on what accountability is and isn't. Although written by a Christian, definitely seems to be written with the non-religious in mind. I was hoping for more of a biblical approach, but wasn't disappointed with the content. At times, it felt like a very long advertisement for xxxchurch and x3watch, but maybe that was the purpose.
August 6, 2013
What I am discovering about non-fiction books for me, is that I only connect with them if they are full of real-life stories. When the author shares their struggles and their victories.
This book that does that. The author shares his own experience with accountability groups and what works and what doesn't.
I have tried being accountable to someone before and it didn't work for me, because I wanted to hide my sin. I have tried being the one holding someone accountable and it didn't work because the person always came to me after they did the very thing they didn't want to do, not when they were considering it. I felt more like a trash can to dump their garbage than a support to walk them through victory.
I think this is a much needed book that churches should have stocked in their libraries. I believe people do want to be held accountable but they don't know how or what it should look like. This book tells you why you need accountability and how to make that happen.
Ultimately, it is up to each of us individually to make that choice to be held accountable, you have to want it to make it work.
I also think it is great that this book is written my a man because it empowers men to do it and see that it is possible. I think women are more likely to seek this type of relationship because of our make-up, we are relational like that, we want to pour our hearts out to someone who will understand us. Men can find this difficult, but I think this book can lead them to the road of that type of relationship.
A copy of this book was given to me by Thomas Nelson through the Book Sneeze program in exchange for an honest review.
This book that does that. The author shares his own experience with accountability groups and what works and what doesn't.
I have tried being accountable to someone before and it didn't work for me, because I wanted to hide my sin. I have tried being the one holding someone accountable and it didn't work because the person always came to me after they did the very thing they didn't want to do, not when they were considering it. I felt more like a trash can to dump their garbage than a support to walk them through victory.
I think this is a much needed book that churches should have stocked in their libraries. I believe people do want to be held accountable but they don't know how or what it should look like. This book tells you why you need accountability and how to make that happen.
Ultimately, it is up to each of us individually to make that choice to be held accountable, you have to want it to make it work.
I also think it is great that this book is written my a man because it empowers men to do it and see that it is possible. I think women are more likely to seek this type of relationship because of our make-up, we are relational like that, we want to pour our hearts out to someone who will understand us. Men can find this difficult, but I think this book can lead them to the road of that type of relationship.
A copy of this book was given to me by Thomas Nelson through the Book Sneeze program in exchange for an honest review.
April 30, 2015
"I need honest people. I don’t need people who are afraid of hurting my feelings or who will be worried about sending me into a depressed spiral if they tell me no. I need people who will do the right thing—the honest thing—because it is the right and honest thing to do."
As the title suggest accountability and honesty are two of the central tenets of this book; and we could all use some more of both. Open walks through why we need accountability, what it looks like, what it doesn't look like, and how to implement it.
I think that the most eye-opening piece of this book is how much Craig stresses the need for accountability. Over and over he proves that accountability isn't just something you should do, it is something you MUST DO. Accountability is like driving a car without brake, you can do it but eventually you are going to encounter a tragedy.
We all have people we consider close friends but this is really about how to build a strategic group that forces you to remain accountable.
As the title suggest accountability and honesty are two of the central tenets of this book; and we could all use some more of both. Open walks through why we need accountability, what it looks like, what it doesn't look like, and how to implement it.
I think that the most eye-opening piece of this book is how much Craig stresses the need for accountability. Over and over he proves that accountability isn't just something you should do, it is something you MUST DO. Accountability is like driving a car without brake, you can do it but eventually you are going to encounter a tragedy.
We all have people we consider close friends but this is really about how to build a strategic group that forces you to remain accountable.
November 14, 2014
I think accountability is a good and necessary thing. Craig offers his thoughts about accountability here based on his years of experience. Some good thoughts to consider. It just felt like he was trying to offer a Christian perspective on it without saying so. Maybe it's obvious he's a Christian but I think he assumes too much of his audience's belief system and the way they would see the 'issues' in their life. For me, I believe accountability finds its home within the church practices of confession, repentance and forgiveness. I have a hard time seeing it being effective otherwise.
September 17, 2013
This is a fantastic book for both Christian and Non. If you struggle with being open with anything or just need to know more about accountability this book is for you. It is well written and has many stories to give you real life examples of both good and bad accountability. Anyone working in any kind of ministry should really read this book.
August 22, 2013
Powerful read. Every man needs to read this book. I wished I had read this earlier on in my life and ministry. It is a very necessary read, guys!!!
March 12, 2016
Good advice.
January 19, 2019
Challenging Insights on How To Get Accountable
I've been in several different accountability groups with several different guys over the last 10 years or so. I thought I knew what I was doing. Reading this book gave me some new information, an strategies on how to go deeper. Very thought and action provoking!
I've been in several different accountability groups with several different guys over the last 10 years or so. I thought I knew what I was doing. Reading this book gave me some new information, an strategies on how to go deeper. Very thought and action provoking!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews