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You're Not You
College student Bec is dangerously adrift. Self-conscious and increasingly uncertain about her long-term plans, she’s studying a major that no longer interests her and is caught up in a bewildering affair with a married professor. In an impulsive attempt to redeem herself, she answers a want ad seeking a caregiver.
What she finds is a wealthy, cultivated woman in her midthirties. Once an advertising executive, accomplished chef, and skilled decorator, Kate is now in the advanced stages of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). She and her husband, Evan, handle their situation with mordant humor, careful planning, and a lot of determination. Yet while Bec perceives the couple as charmingly frank and good-humored, strains exist beneath the surface.
Bec is soon a vital part of her employer’s household, and their increasing closeness transforms both women’s lives and their relationships. The more she acts on Kate’s behalf, the further Bec strays from her stringent comfort zone. She performs every task, from the most administrative to the most intimate, and she translates Kate’s speech for strangers, friends, and even family. Sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes reluctantly, Bec advances further and further into Kate’s world, surprised by her own increasing dedication and ease. But how closely can Bec intertwine her own life with Kate’s?
The two confront their obstacles unsentimentally, with dark humor and unflinching candor, as their relationship is slowly stripped of pretense. Honesty becomes their They may find humor in the most devastating moments, but they won’t pretend to believe in silver linings that don’t exist. With crystal clarity, debut author Michelle Wildgen has crafted a deeply affecting novel about the singular relationship between two women, balancing humor and regret, sensuality and necessity, and testing the outer limits of friendship. Advance Praise for You’re Not You
“Michelle Wildgen’s novel You Are Not You is so skillfully rendered that it’s hard to believe it is a first novel. The character of Bec, a twentysomething who has a habit of falling into things---jobs, love affairs---is funny, completely unsentimental, and really great for a reader to hang around with. Her worldview and how it changes when she goes to work for Kate, a refined woman in her thirties, is riveting. I simply couldn’t put this book down.”
---Whitney Otto, author of How to Make an American Quilt
“What an enjoyable and deeply satisfying novel. In You’re Not You, Michelle Wildgen manages to capture, in some extraordinary way, what it’s like to be a fairly ordinary college student, waiting for one’s life to begin. Bec is a wonderfully complex heroine, and the nuances of her relations with the remarkable Kate are both vivid and suspenseful. This is an exhilarating debut.”
---Margot Livesey, author of Banishing Verona
“With You’re Not You, Michelle Wildgen has produced an artful and slyly seductive debut novel about a caregiver in full thrall to her charge’s steely hold on sensuality, taste, and grace.”
---Helen Schulman, author of P.S.
“Michelle Wildgen writes with a lush, fierce clarity about the most private and complex of the relationship between identity and intimacy, the body’s pleasures and profound betrayals, the sharp impact of loss, and the gifts of deep attachment. You’re Not You is startling and smart, a wise, beautiful novel.”
---Nancy Reisman, author of The First Desire
What she finds is a wealthy, cultivated woman in her midthirties. Once an advertising executive, accomplished chef, and skilled decorator, Kate is now in the advanced stages of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). She and her husband, Evan, handle their situation with mordant humor, careful planning, and a lot of determination. Yet while Bec perceives the couple as charmingly frank and good-humored, strains exist beneath the surface.
Bec is soon a vital part of her employer’s household, and their increasing closeness transforms both women’s lives and their relationships. The more she acts on Kate’s behalf, the further Bec strays from her stringent comfort zone. She performs every task, from the most administrative to the most intimate, and she translates Kate’s speech for strangers, friends, and even family. Sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes reluctantly, Bec advances further and further into Kate’s world, surprised by her own increasing dedication and ease. But how closely can Bec intertwine her own life with Kate’s?
The two confront their obstacles unsentimentally, with dark humor and unflinching candor, as their relationship is slowly stripped of pretense. Honesty becomes their They may find humor in the most devastating moments, but they won’t pretend to believe in silver linings that don’t exist. With crystal clarity, debut author Michelle Wildgen has crafted a deeply affecting novel about the singular relationship between two women, balancing humor and regret, sensuality and necessity, and testing the outer limits of friendship. Advance Praise for You’re Not You
“Michelle Wildgen’s novel You Are Not You is so skillfully rendered that it’s hard to believe it is a first novel. The character of Bec, a twentysomething who has a habit of falling into things---jobs, love affairs---is funny, completely unsentimental, and really great for a reader to hang around with. Her worldview and how it changes when she goes to work for Kate, a refined woman in her thirties, is riveting. I simply couldn’t put this book down.”
---Whitney Otto, author of How to Make an American Quilt
“What an enjoyable and deeply satisfying novel. In You’re Not You, Michelle Wildgen manages to capture, in some extraordinary way, what it’s like to be a fairly ordinary college student, waiting for one’s life to begin. Bec is a wonderfully complex heroine, and the nuances of her relations with the remarkable Kate are both vivid and suspenseful. This is an exhilarating debut.”
---Margot Livesey, author of Banishing Verona
“With You’re Not You, Michelle Wildgen has produced an artful and slyly seductive debut novel about a caregiver in full thrall to her charge’s steely hold on sensuality, taste, and grace.”
---Helen Schulman, author of P.S.
“Michelle Wildgen writes with a lush, fierce clarity about the most private and complex of the relationship between identity and intimacy, the body’s pleasures and profound betrayals, the sharp impact of loss, and the gifts of deep attachment. You’re Not You is startling and smart, a wise, beautiful novel.”
---Nancy Reisman, author of The First Desire
288 pages, Hardcover
First published May 30, 2006
53 people are currently reading
2478 people want to read
About the author
Michelle Wildgen
15 books133 followersMichelle Wildgen is a writer, editor, and teacher in Madison, Wisconsin. In addition to being an executive editor at the literary journal Tin House, Michelle is the author of the novels Bread and Butter: A Novel (forthcoming from Doubleday), But Not For Long and You’re Not You (both available in paperback from Picador), and the editor of an anthology, Food & Booze: A Tin House Literary Feast (Tin House Books). You’re Not You has been adapted for film, starring Hilary Swank and Emmy Rossum.
Michelle’s nonfiction has included a weekly column on food television as well as individual essays on a wide range of topics: from American Girl doll Rebecca Rubin, Burt Reynolds’ 1970s fan mail, and obscure Wisconsin card games to the craft of writing, fresh mozzarella, deer-hunting for the neophyte, and the number of times one has to endure anaphylactic shock before giving up shellfish for good.
She received her MFA from Sarah Lawrence College and has taught fiction and nonfiction at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the Tin House Summer Writers’ Workshop, and the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.
Her fiction, personal essays, and food writing have also appeared in publications including The New York Times, O, the Oprah Magazine, and anthologies such as Naming the World and Other Exercises for the Creative Writer, Dirty Words, Best New American Voices 2004, Best Food Writing 2004 and 2009, Death by Pad Thai and Other Unforgettable Meals, and journals including StoryQuarterly, TriQuarterly, Prairie Schooner, and elsewhere.
Awards and honors include a scholarship to Bread Loaf, residency at the Hall Farm Center in Vermont, and the Virginia Faulkner Award for Excellence in Writing from Prairie Schooner.
Michelle’s nonfiction has included a weekly column on food television as well as individual essays on a wide range of topics: from American Girl doll Rebecca Rubin, Burt Reynolds’ 1970s fan mail, and obscure Wisconsin card games to the craft of writing, fresh mozzarella, deer-hunting for the neophyte, and the number of times one has to endure anaphylactic shock before giving up shellfish for good.
She received her MFA from Sarah Lawrence College and has taught fiction and nonfiction at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the Tin House Summer Writers’ Workshop, and the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.
Her fiction, personal essays, and food writing have also appeared in publications including The New York Times, O, the Oprah Magazine, and anthologies such as Naming the World and Other Exercises for the Creative Writer, Dirty Words, Best New American Voices 2004, Best Food Writing 2004 and 2009, Death by Pad Thai and Other Unforgettable Meals, and journals including StoryQuarterly, TriQuarterly, Prairie Schooner, and elsewhere.
Awards and honors include a scholarship to Bread Loaf, residency at the Hall Farm Center in Vermont, and the Virginia Faulkner Award for Excellence in Writing from Prairie Schooner.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 296 reviews
February 6, 2018
Okay, I'm writing a more thorough review of this book b/c I did a little search on others' thoughts and actually found some people giving this book one star. That's just ridiculous. Maybe the subject matter isn't for everyone - it's about the relationship between a college student and the thirtysomething woman suffering from ALS that she cares for - but to imply in any way that this book is not extraordinarily crafted and beautifully written is just absurd. I read a LOT of books, and I'm not above enjoying a great yarn regardless of true writing capability, but this book is really a cut above just in terms of literary precision. To factor in that this is a debut novel is even more astounding. All that being said, I also personally found the story riveting, truthful and yes, heartbreaking...but also uplifting. The depictions of ALS's ravaging of the human body in the book are brutal, but also thoughtful and honest and even humorous at times, which pleasantly surprised me. I am not a cook, but I finished this book determined to begin saving for my first five course, gourmet restaurant experience...anyone who appreciates food will salivate many times while reading this novel. Lastly, I read more than one review that thought the relationship between the two women was improbable and the transformation of the college character ultimately unbelievable. I don't know what to say to that except I strongly disagree. Even when this book took me to places I didn't expect, I followed. I alternately laughed, cried, and felt really hungry/angry/sad/euphoric while reading this book, which to me is a rare gift.
If you too are a voracious reader that cherishes a new author discovery, check this book out and then let me know what you think. Perhaps it won't be your cup of tea. But like it or not, this is a book that deserves to be read.
If you too are a voracious reader that cherishes a new author discovery, check this book out and then let me know what you think. Perhaps it won't be your cup of tea. But like it or not, this is a book that deserves to be read.
May 22, 2011
Michelle Wildgen’s YOU’RE NOT YOU is the perfect book for readers who like to tackle novels with thought-provoking, grey-area topics. Warning: this is not a light read, as it addresses terminal, progressive illness and how the afflicted and the spouse must deal with the stark realities forced upon them. The author has created so much more than that, though – offering humor, strength and the power of choice to her strong female characters.
At the heart of this book is Bec, an ambivalent college woman who takes a caregiving job for a young woman in her thirties, Kate, with Lou Gehrig’s disease. Both are thrust into circumstances that force them to grow and to accept realities outside of their control – and, ultimately, to make life-changing decisions for themselves.
Favoring tough, emotional novels of this sort, I found this novel fulfilling on many levels. And despite the heavy topic, the writing wasn’t overly sentimental.
This is a story about lessons learned, friendship, journeys into the unknown – and even female sensuality. Fans of “foodie lit” will also find this novel a satisfying dish as it artfully reveals the role of cooking/eating, and its ties to emotional fulfillment. Both heartbreaking and empowering, this is a novel that will stick with me for a long, long time to come
At the heart of this book is Bec, an ambivalent college woman who takes a caregiving job for a young woman in her thirties, Kate, with Lou Gehrig’s disease. Both are thrust into circumstances that force them to grow and to accept realities outside of their control – and, ultimately, to make life-changing decisions for themselves.
Favoring tough, emotional novels of this sort, I found this novel fulfilling on many levels. And despite the heavy topic, the writing wasn’t overly sentimental.
This is a story about lessons learned, friendship, journeys into the unknown – and even female sensuality. Fans of “foodie lit” will also find this novel a satisfying dish as it artfully reveals the role of cooking/eating, and its ties to emotional fulfillment. Both heartbreaking and empowering, this is a novel that will stick with me for a long, long time to come
September 4, 2007
I so desperately wanted to like this novel. The synopsis on the back hinted at a tragedy turned around through the beautiful exploration of the senses. That is certainly not what the story delivered. I expected Kate to be a better-developed character with a more profound lesson to teach. I admit that she did change Bec's life but no more than any other employer or boss. I also felt that Bec's attitude and behavior towards the end of the story (I won't give away too much information) was a bit annoying and almost overdone.
Overall the story was a letdown. Perhaps I'll stop reading the boack covers of the books I read??
Overall the story was a letdown. Perhaps I'll stop reading the boack covers of the books I read??
May 19, 2015
Een boek dat ik gelezen heb samen met de boekenclub 'YA & chicklit NL', tevens kon ik dit boek gelijk weer gebruiken voor mijn 2015 reading challenge onder de noemer 'a book by an author you've never read before'. Ik hoorde voor het eerst over dit boek, doordat ik de trailer van de film zag.
Jij bent mij, gaat over Kate. Kate heeft 2 jaar geleden te horen gekregen dat ze lijdt aan ALS. Nu ze steeds meer hulpbehoevend wordt, zijn ze op zoek naar een extra hulp voor overdag als haar man is werken. Ze stuiten op Becca. Een rebelse student zonder enige ervaring in de zorg. Op de een of andere manier, besluit Kate haar toch aan te nemen. Al snel krijgt Becca de smaak te pakken en ontstaat er een band tussen Kate en Becca, maar de ziekte maakt steeds meer schade.
In het begin vond ik het boek erg lijken op 'me before you', maar dit duurde maar heel eventjes. Toch vond ik dit wel prettig, want ik vond 'me before you' echt prachtig en dit maakte dat ik dit boek direct door wilde lezen. Dit boek is compleet anders, maar toch vond ik ook dit boek erg mooi! Het begin van het boek sleept wat aan, maar naarmate de band tussen Becca en Kate versterkt, lijkt het of je zelf ook een betere band met die twee krijgt. Zowel Becca als Kate gaan een gigantische transformatie door. Becca begint als een student zonder enig gevoel voor verantwoordelijkheid, maar uiteindelijk blijkt haar dit werk perfect te liggen. De schrijfster wilde Becca een gevoel voor humor meegeven, maar die miste ik in veel gevallen wel. Ik begreep niet alle grappen die Becca maakte.
Dit boek is een stuk stugger dan 'me before you'. Minder humor, meer drama. Persoonlijk vond ik het einde van dit boek wel beter als het einde in 'me before you'. Je voelt hem vanuit de verte aankomen, maar toch was het echt indrukwekkend. Jammer dat ik halverwege het lezen van 'de gebeurtenis' weg moest, als ik het aan een stuk door had gelezen, was er mogelijk wel een traantje gevallen.
Al met al ben ik blij dat ik het boek gelezen heb. Ik heb er van genoten. Daarna heb ik ook de film nog gekeken, maar die viel in het niets bij het boek. Jammer!
Jij bent mij, gaat over Kate. Kate heeft 2 jaar geleden te horen gekregen dat ze lijdt aan ALS. Nu ze steeds meer hulpbehoevend wordt, zijn ze op zoek naar een extra hulp voor overdag als haar man is werken. Ze stuiten op Becca. Een rebelse student zonder enige ervaring in de zorg. Op de een of andere manier, besluit Kate haar toch aan te nemen. Al snel krijgt Becca de smaak te pakken en ontstaat er een band tussen Kate en Becca, maar de ziekte maakt steeds meer schade.
In het begin vond ik het boek erg lijken op 'me before you', maar dit duurde maar heel eventjes. Toch vond ik dit wel prettig, want ik vond 'me before you' echt prachtig en dit maakte dat ik dit boek direct door wilde lezen. Dit boek is compleet anders, maar toch vond ik ook dit boek erg mooi! Het begin van het boek sleept wat aan, maar naarmate de band tussen Becca en Kate versterkt, lijkt het of je zelf ook een betere band met die twee krijgt. Zowel Becca als Kate gaan een gigantische transformatie door. Becca begint als een student zonder enig gevoel voor verantwoordelijkheid, maar uiteindelijk blijkt haar dit werk perfect te liggen. De schrijfster wilde Becca een gevoel voor humor meegeven, maar die miste ik in veel gevallen wel. Ik begreep niet alle grappen die Becca maakte.
Dit boek is een stuk stugger dan 'me before you'. Minder humor, meer drama. Persoonlijk vond ik het einde van dit boek wel beter als het einde in 'me before you'. Je voelt hem vanuit de verte aankomen, maar toch was het echt indrukwekkend. Jammer dat ik halverwege het lezen van 'de gebeurtenis' weg moest, als ik het aan een stuk door had gelezen, was er mogelijk wel een traantje gevallen.
Al met al ben ik blij dat ik het boek gelezen heb. Ik heb er van genoten. Daarna heb ik ook de film nog gekeken, maar die viel in het niets bij het boek. Jammer!
March 4, 2015
Great debut book about college student, Bec, who is unhappy with her major and her job waitressing who takes a job as a caregiver for Kate, a youngish woman with ALS. At first Bec doesn't think she is cut out for the job with all of the personal things she has to do for Kate and feeling very uncomfortable doing it. However, Bec soon finds herself enmeshed in Kate's life doing practically anything and everything for her, giving up her friends and herself in the process. But what will she do when the job is over? How can she untangle the spider's web she and Kate have cast around themselves? Can Bec find who she really wants to be on her own?
I will definitely be looking for more books by this young debut author whose writing style is as mature as any experienced literary fiction writer you can find. 4 stars!
I will definitely be looking for more books by this young debut author whose writing style is as mature as any experienced literary fiction writer you can find. 4 stars!
October 6, 2014
I'm going to be honest. I read this book because I saw the trailer for the movie, and just the trailer had me in tears. I put this book on my hold list at the library the next day.
I'm not really sure how to feel about it. I didn't have to fight to finish it; it definitely kept my attention. But it was... odd.
The book revolves around Bec, a 21 year old college student who works as a waitress, parties hard, is having an affair with her married professor, and has no direction in life. For some reason (I honestly can't remember now, and I just finished reading the book, which I guess should tell you something), she takes a job as a caregiver for Kate Norris, a wealthy woman in her thirties who has ALS. She was diagnosed two years ago, so by the time Bec comes onto the scene, there isn't much left that Kate is able to do. She's married to Evan, and despite having ALS, Bec finds her to be beautiful, sophisticated, interesting, intelligent, cultured. Kate teaches Bec how to make gourmet meals, gives her books to take home, and the two become close.
Bec moves in with her as her disease progresses further. Kate dies, of course, but... it wasn't an emotional scene for me. Bec's understandable depression afterwards didn't, either. The weird thing, though, is that while Kate and Bec definitely bonded and were close, it never seemed to become a close friendship, which is how the book seems to sell it. There was also talk of how both women are "changed", but Kate remained rather one-dimensional. I appreciated the realistic (I assume) depiction of ALS, in that the author does not mistake disability for being dead or useless. Kate is still treated as a person with emotions and desires. But it mostly revolves around Bec; Kate seemingly is completely at ease with her disease, and who knows? Maybe people with ALS are typically very accepting by the time it has progressed this far. But there isn't any talk of fear, or regret, or frustration, or anything at all really, from Kate. And that made a difference to me, because I find it very hard to believe that a human being could go through something as devastating as ALS and not feel anything other than serenity and acceptance. It was the hints of true emotion that touched me in the trailer for the movie adaptation - Hilary Swank struggling to say that she just wants to be able to scream.
Ultimately, Kate serves as nothing more than a tool through which Bec turns her life around. I also was irritated because one thing Bec seems to complain about after Kate's death is the loss of lifestyle. Kate was wealthy, Bec got to live in Kate's wealthy house, eat gourmet food and get treated to lavish gifts from her boss. It seemed like an odd thing to complain about missing, and only because we're again told that these two women become extremely close, in a life-changing friendship. If that were the case, then why so much agonizing over having to go back to living as a poor college student?
I'm disappointed to say it, but much from the trailer of the movie wasn't in the novel - and based on that, I honestly think the movie will be better than the book. There could have been - and should have been - so much more emotion and heart in this story, but sadly, that just wasn't the case.
I'm not really sure how to feel about it. I didn't have to fight to finish it; it definitely kept my attention. But it was... odd.
The book revolves around Bec, a 21 year old college student who works as a waitress, parties hard, is having an affair with her married professor, and has no direction in life. For some reason (I honestly can't remember now, and I just finished reading the book, which I guess should tell you something), she takes a job as a caregiver for Kate Norris, a wealthy woman in her thirties who has ALS. She was diagnosed two years ago, so by the time Bec comes onto the scene, there isn't much left that Kate is able to do. She's married to Evan, and despite having ALS, Bec finds her to be beautiful, sophisticated, interesting, intelligent, cultured. Kate teaches Bec how to make gourmet meals, gives her books to take home, and the two become close.
Bec moves in with her as her disease progresses further. Kate dies, of course, but... it wasn't an emotional scene for me. Bec's understandable depression afterwards didn't, either. The weird thing, though, is that while Kate and Bec definitely bonded and were close, it never seemed to become a close friendship, which is how the book seems to sell it. There was also talk of how both women are "changed", but Kate remained rather one-dimensional. I appreciated the realistic (I assume) depiction of ALS, in that the author does not mistake disability for being dead or useless. Kate is still treated as a person with emotions and desires. But it mostly revolves around Bec; Kate seemingly is completely at ease with her disease, and who knows? Maybe people with ALS are typically very accepting by the time it has progressed this far. But there isn't any talk of fear, or regret, or frustration, or anything at all really, from Kate. And that made a difference to me, because I find it very hard to believe that a human being could go through something as devastating as ALS and not feel anything other than serenity and acceptance. It was the hints of true emotion that touched me in the trailer for the movie adaptation - Hilary Swank struggling to say that she just wants to be able to scream.
Ultimately, Kate serves as nothing more than a tool through which Bec turns her life around. I also was irritated because one thing Bec seems to complain about after Kate's death is the loss of lifestyle. Kate was wealthy, Bec got to live in Kate's wealthy house, eat gourmet food and get treated to lavish gifts from her boss. It seemed like an odd thing to complain about missing, and only because we're again told that these two women become extremely close, in a life-changing friendship. If that were the case, then why so much agonizing over having to go back to living as a poor college student?
I'm disappointed to say it, but much from the trailer of the movie wasn't in the novel - and based on that, I honestly think the movie will be better than the book. There could have been - and should have been - so much more emotion and heart in this story, but sadly, that just wasn't the case.
May 1, 2015
Ik vond het een heel mooi boek.. Mooi maar hier en daar wel wat langdradig geschreven. Sommige stukjes boeide me niet zo waardoor ik dat een beetje vluchtig geen lezen. Voornamelijk na de dood van Kate.
Daarom geen 5 sterren. We hebben dit boek als maandboek gelezen met de groep YA & CHICKLIT NL als thema boek + film.. De film ga ik van de week dus ook nog kijken.
Boek is een aanrader! Het verhaal zet je met beide benen op de grond .. Het idee dat dit heel realistisch is , is beangstigend :( .. De gewoonste dagelijkse dingen kunnen ineens niet meer zo vanzelfsprekend zijn.
Daarom geen 5 sterren. We hebben dit boek als maandboek gelezen met de groep YA & CHICKLIT NL als thema boek + film.. De film ga ik van de week dus ook nog kijken.
Boek is een aanrader! Het verhaal zet je met beide benen op de grond .. Het idee dat dit heel realistisch is , is beangstigend :( .. De gewoonste dagelijkse dingen kunnen ineens niet meer zo vanzelfsprekend zijn.
May 10, 2015
Ik wou dit boek 4 sterren geven, tot ik bij het einde kwam. Ik twijfelde zelfs of ik de juiste epub had, zo abrupt kwam dit einde. Zonde, want het verhaal vond ik verder erg mooi geschreven.
October 29, 2021
This was a really easy read that definitely helped get me out of my reading slump. There were definitely a few things that I could relate to with the care giving role and struggles that are very much a reality. I really enjoyed the friendship that was formed and the character development of Bec. Lastly all of the delicious food that she made me had my mouth watering throughout the book!
July 25, 2007
YOU'RE NOT YOU by Michelle Wildgen - St. Martin's Press - 0-312-35229-8 - 274pps - $23.95 (paperback due in August from Picador Press - 0-312-36952-2- $14.00)
Wildgen masters her first novel with the tightest story I've read in years. As strippingly honest as Ethan Hawke with the simple elegance of Kent Haruf and a touch of Jennifer Weiner's wit. No padding, no redundancies, just impeccably good writing with incredible insight into the life of a Lou Gehrig's victim. With respect and empathy, Wildgen takes us into the home and oh-so-personal life of Kate, a rapidly declining, well-to-do sufferer of the disease and Bec, the happenstance caretaker who stumbled into the job that inevitably becomes her life, if only temporarily.
Bec was just looking for a change. Her go-no-where love affair with a married professor, her flailing college career and mundane job sends her seeking a better meaning to life. She finds that and more via servitude and living by proxy as a home health aide. At first, Bec's ineptitude and embarrassment of the situations she is assigned to tarry her edification. But Kate's own patience and sincere gratitude soon segue to Bec's niche in her new endeavor.
Bec has to translate, in first person, for Kate's strained whispers, emoting the intent of origin, (hence, the title), tend to all her hygienic needs and take on all household tasks. When Kate tells her husband to move out, in lieu of his just seeking sexual release elsewhere, Bec moves in and takes over everything.
A close, (yet no too close), relationship evolves with a bonding that steps just to the side of professionalism. Kate's wealth is evident and her generosity abundant, frequently lavishing Bec with spontaneous perks. Kate also has several close friends, caring parents and a realistic outlook to her encroaching end. Strict instructions are given and taken when her time comes, which leaves Bec in a lost state of identity until she finds diverted fulfillment in a cooking job garnered by the palatable masterpieces prepared in Kate's employ. Though Kate remains a ghost in Bec's life, she is neither haunghting nor unwelcome.
* As an added bonus, there are several great cooking tips thrown into a couple kitchen scenes.
http://www.michellewildgen.com/
Wildgen masters her first novel with the tightest story I've read in years. As strippingly honest as Ethan Hawke with the simple elegance of Kent Haruf and a touch of Jennifer Weiner's wit. No padding, no redundancies, just impeccably good writing with incredible insight into the life of a Lou Gehrig's victim. With respect and empathy, Wildgen takes us into the home and oh-so-personal life of Kate, a rapidly declining, well-to-do sufferer of the disease and Bec, the happenstance caretaker who stumbled into the job that inevitably becomes her life, if only temporarily.
Bec was just looking for a change. Her go-no-where love affair with a married professor, her flailing college career and mundane job sends her seeking a better meaning to life. She finds that and more via servitude and living by proxy as a home health aide. At first, Bec's ineptitude and embarrassment of the situations she is assigned to tarry her edification. But Kate's own patience and sincere gratitude soon segue to Bec's niche in her new endeavor.
Bec has to translate, in first person, for Kate's strained whispers, emoting the intent of origin, (hence, the title), tend to all her hygienic needs and take on all household tasks. When Kate tells her husband to move out, in lieu of his just seeking sexual release elsewhere, Bec moves in and takes over everything.
A close, (yet no too close), relationship evolves with a bonding that steps just to the side of professionalism. Kate's wealth is evident and her generosity abundant, frequently lavishing Bec with spontaneous perks. Kate also has several close friends, caring parents and a realistic outlook to her encroaching end. Strict instructions are given and taken when her time comes, which leaves Bec in a lost state of identity until she finds diverted fulfillment in a cooking job garnered by the palatable masterpieces prepared in Kate's employ. Though Kate remains a ghost in Bec's life, she is neither haunghting nor unwelcome.
* As an added bonus, there are several great cooking tips thrown into a couple kitchen scenes.
http://www.michellewildgen.com/
July 12, 2014
It's rare for me to give a book five stars, but this one fully deserves every one. It was one of those books you wish wouldn't end.
Bec is a college student in Madison, Wisconsin -- disinterested and aimless. Bored with waitressing, she answers an ad for a caregiver, and is drawn into the life of Kate, a 30-something woman with ALS. Clumsy at first, she gradually begins to discover what she's good at, to get a sense of who she might be in the world. She starts to come into her own.
But the irony is that as she finds herself, she is also losing herself through her immersion in Kate's world -- her tastes, her humor, her friends. She even has to speak for Kate, whose illness makes her speech difficult to understand. Once when speaking for her on the phone, Bec allows herself a muttered "Jesus!" as an aside, which earns her a stern admonition from Kate: "You're not you right now. This is me."
The descriptions are vivid, sensual, sometimes deeply disturbing. The writing is tight and disciplined, and of course the story itself leads to the inevitable... and beyond that. From her deep grief and anger after Kate's death, Bec thinks "I didn't understand how she [her mother]... could look at me as though I were still myself... I believed that Kate had sunk into me like a sunburn, rooted herself in my skin like a pelt…"
I highly recommend this book, and thank whoever it was who recommended it to me in the first place.
Bec is a college student in Madison, Wisconsin -- disinterested and aimless. Bored with waitressing, she answers an ad for a caregiver, and is drawn into the life of Kate, a 30-something woman with ALS. Clumsy at first, she gradually begins to discover what she's good at, to get a sense of who she might be in the world. She starts to come into her own.
But the irony is that as she finds herself, she is also losing herself through her immersion in Kate's world -- her tastes, her humor, her friends. She even has to speak for Kate, whose illness makes her speech difficult to understand. Once when speaking for her on the phone, Bec allows herself a muttered "Jesus!" as an aside, which earns her a stern admonition from Kate: "You're not you right now. This is me."
The descriptions are vivid, sensual, sometimes deeply disturbing. The writing is tight and disciplined, and of course the story itself leads to the inevitable... and beyond that. From her deep grief and anger after Kate's death, Bec thinks "I didn't understand how she [her mother]... could look at me as though I were still myself... I believed that Kate had sunk into me like a sunburn, rooted herself in my skin like a pelt…"
I highly recommend this book, and thank whoever it was who recommended it to me in the first place.
December 5, 2007
This book was a break from my normal reading as of late. I had finished some heavier and creepier stuff and decided to fall into something a little less tense, something effortless.
This book fit the bill. I finished it over the course of one night and day. It so closely walks that chick-lit vs fiction line... But I feel its got more substance than your run of the mill chick-lit novels do.
The main character Bec is a going-nowhere, job-hopping, party girl in college, who is sleeping with a married professor, looking for a part time job in the summer that pays well. She stumbles across an ad for a caregiver to a woman with ALS, and she interviews for it, having no experience in the field... From there we watch her morph from an unsettled college girl to a woman with self confidence, a love of her job,respect for relationships, and witness the development of a strong friendship between her and her patient.
It gets heavy at times, The novel pulls at the heartstrings ... and there are alot of cooking references... which i sort of flew over (not interesting to me, but plays a big part in the storyline).
Anyhow, if you are looking for a story with alot of character growth, something to curl up with and enjoy, pick this one up. Sappy readers beware, make sure you have some tissues by your side. This one may cause you tear up!!
This book fit the bill. I finished it over the course of one night and day. It so closely walks that chick-lit vs fiction line... But I feel its got more substance than your run of the mill chick-lit novels do.
The main character Bec is a going-nowhere, job-hopping, party girl in college, who is sleeping with a married professor, looking for a part time job in the summer that pays well. She stumbles across an ad for a caregiver to a woman with ALS, and she interviews for it, having no experience in the field... From there we watch her morph from an unsettled college girl to a woman with self confidence, a love of her job,respect for relationships, and witness the development of a strong friendship between her and her patient.
It gets heavy at times, The novel pulls at the heartstrings ... and there are alot of cooking references... which i sort of flew over (not interesting to me, but plays a big part in the storyline).
Anyhow, if you are looking for a story with alot of character growth, something to curl up with and enjoy, pick this one up. Sappy readers beware, make sure you have some tissues by your side. This one may cause you tear up!!
June 28, 2009
A honest read that will evoke complex feelings, pain, sadness and happiness. This is the story of a naive young caregiver and her patient, a strong independent woman with Lou Gehrig's disease. The relationship between these two women far outweighs any of the other relationships of the book. We see how the relationship grows. How the relationship helps Bec inadvertently find her calling in life and how the relationship allows Kate to have the courage and ability to stay true to her belief system in what is right and wrong. Does it get so close that Bec makes bad decisions she will regret forever or does it make her stronger and more solid in her convictions.
May 19, 2020
I actually really liked this book and it was completely not a normal read for me. It was much more self discovery than I typically enjoyed but I liked getting to see personal growth of the characters. You really understood her emotions and reasoning and it was not “fairy tale” it was real life. I liked that. I think it did a great job depicting ALS- not too sugar coated but also showing the not so pretty sides of the disease.
I would recommend this book to others, it makes you feel and think in ways I don’t usually get into my fiction books.
I would recommend this book to others, it makes you feel and think in ways I don’t usually get into my fiction books.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 10, 2007
I read this book with my bookclub based on the storyline of a woman suffering from ALS. Unfortunately the plot surrounded the caregiver and her sex life more than the character with ALS. I thought some of the stories didn't need to be told (i.e. the "blue butterfly"). I did enjoy the sections on the preparation of the meals and food. Those parts left me marking pages with the intention of testing them out for myself.
August 22, 2007
This book about a college student who cares for a woman with Lou Gehrig's disease is not altogether realistic, but is nonetheless very touching in parts. Given that this is Wildgen's first novel, I think she shows a lot of promise, but it's not fully realized here.
October 13, 2010
Exquisite, through and through -- writing, voice, character arcs, all of it. So many times I would stop and think, "If only I could write like this." As an added bonus, it's set firmly in Madison and has a fair amount of good stuff for the foodie set as well. I love, love, loved this book.
October 26, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. Makes one think about a whole other side of ALS. The outside caregiver. I lived their relationship and showed w caregiving is way more than a job. Sad but real. I thought it was a great read and would recommend it for sure
April 27, 2023
Jag blev förälskad i den här bokens vardagliga tempo. Från början till slut får vi följa protagonisten Bec i hennes egen takt, och inte en dramatiserad version av en relativt enkel vardag. Det finns heller ingen försköning av huvudpersonen utan vi får lära känna hennes autentiska jag och alla hennes dilemman. Till en början upplevde jag henne som ganska osympatisk, men utan någon drastisk helvändning så har hon en fin och naturlig karaktärsutveckling som jag tyckte var tillfredsställande. Boken är inte så romantiserande, vilket gäller alla delar. Det som fängslade mig mest var hur relationerna mellan karaktärerna skildras. Det är just den vardagliga enkelheten i Becs relation med ALS-sjuka Kate som gör den så komplex. Relationen utvecklas ständigt under bokens gång, och utan att läsaren hinner upptäcka skiftet så är relationen plötsligt en helt annat. Vad gäller Becs relation med Liam, och främst hennes resonemang kring den, så har författaren framställt det känslomässiga kvalet mellan naivitet och verklighetsinsikt på ett enligt min mening otroligt relaterbart sätt. Trots att hårdfakta om relationens verkliga karaktär är tydligt uppdanade från början, väljer Bec att blunda för det hon egentligen vet. Som man gör i början av en relation när man är kär och befinner sig djupt inne i lavendeldimman. Genom att relationen mellan Bec och Kate utvecklas, stärks även Becs egna självinsikt och hon väljer successivt att bemöta det hon undvikit.
Jag upplevde Kates karaktär som ständigt inlindad i en slöja, alltid lite utom räckhåll. Jag kände aldrig att jag fick lära känna henne och hennes känsloliv. Här står jag som läsare inför ett dilemma. Kates karaktär förhåller sig hela tiden till Bec, dels för att vi enbart får följa Becs perspektiv, men också för att det är så människor fungerar i interaktioner. De båda karaktärerna förhåller sig till varandra. Detta är det jag tycker är skickligt skildrat; i interaktioner med andra människor speglar vi hela tiden de förväntningar vi upplever att andra har på oss. Kate uppträder såsom hon tror förväntas av henne, vilket inte nödvändigtvis alltid överensstämmer med verkligheten. Vikten ligger i hur vi TROR att vi bör upplevas. Jag kom dock på mig själv med att ständigt sukta efter mer detaljer om Kate och hur hon processade sitt sjukdomstillstånd. Jag ville i nästan varje interaktion veta mer. Vad känner hon egentligen, när hon inte hade någon vårdgivare att förhålla sig till? När hon inte behövde rätta sig efter deras känsloliv för att få dem att känna sig bekväma med att hjälpa henne? Det är dock vackert hur hon sätter deras välmående så högt när hon är den som sitter i den utsatta situationen.
Summan av summarum är att i all enkelhet så är skildringarna i boken skickligt framställda och jag älskade den. Den är dock inte för alla, eftersom tempot är ganska långsamt, vilket även gäller de dramatiska scenerna.
Jag upplevde Kates karaktär som ständigt inlindad i en slöja, alltid lite utom räckhåll. Jag kände aldrig att jag fick lära känna henne och hennes känsloliv. Här står jag som läsare inför ett dilemma. Kates karaktär förhåller sig hela tiden till Bec, dels för att vi enbart får följa Becs perspektiv, men också för att det är så människor fungerar i interaktioner. De båda karaktärerna förhåller sig till varandra. Detta är det jag tycker är skickligt skildrat; i interaktioner med andra människor speglar vi hela tiden de förväntningar vi upplever att andra har på oss. Kate uppträder såsom hon tror förväntas av henne, vilket inte nödvändigtvis alltid överensstämmer med verkligheten. Vikten ligger i hur vi TROR att vi bör upplevas. Jag kom dock på mig själv med att ständigt sukta efter mer detaljer om Kate och hur hon processade sitt sjukdomstillstånd. Jag ville i nästan varje interaktion veta mer. Vad känner hon egentligen, när hon inte hade någon vårdgivare att förhålla sig till? När hon inte behövde rätta sig efter deras känsloliv för att få dem att känna sig bekväma med att hjälpa henne? Det är dock vackert hur hon sätter deras välmående så högt när hon är den som sitter i den utsatta situationen.
Summan av summarum är att i all enkelhet så är skildringarna i boken skickligt framställda och jag älskade den. Den är dock inte för alla, eftersom tempot är ganska långsamt, vilket även gäller de dramatiska scenerna.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 11, 2017
This novel is touted as as a fictional account of a caregiver to a woman with ALS disease and the bond between them which changed the cargiver's life. It's kind of like that. Beca is a college student at UW Madison who basically hates college and is kind of a slug, she doesn't shower or change her clothes all that often and she is having an affair with a married teaching assistant. She takes a job with Kate, a thirty something wealthy woman who has ALS and needs someone to do things like dress, bathe and toliet her. Kate's husband Evan does most of the work at first, but his job requires them to hire a caregiver.
The book made it clear they wanted someone with no experience, so it could be more of a friend thing rather than clinical, but someone at Kate's level of disability would need someone who is experienced with feeding tubes, lifting patients etc. I'm not in the medical field, but Kate came across as sort of the 'magical teacher patient'. She never complained nor seemed limited by the fact she could not speak clearly, barely move her limbs and required a feeding tube to eat. She teaches Beca to cook and honestly the cooking stuff was way too much. The author is also a food writer-but at least half the book was about recipes, selecting and preparing and cooking various ingredients etc. I also found it hard to believe that as Kate's condition continued to deteriorate (and she asked her husband who had been cheating to leave), Kate was able to on her own purchase, completely oversee renovations and decorate a new house. I would think she would have decreasing energy and since she could not speak, it would be too large a project to manage.
It's not a spoiler to say that of course at some point she dies, and than Beca finds something else to do. I'm not at all sure what the message was in this book. It never seemed as if Beca and Kate became good friends, in fact most of the time Beca was treated as an employee. Beca's extreme depression and demands to visit with Kate's family and friends seemed overdone.
The book made it clear they wanted someone with no experience, so it could be more of a friend thing rather than clinical, but someone at Kate's level of disability would need someone who is experienced with feeding tubes, lifting patients etc. I'm not in the medical field, but Kate came across as sort of the 'magical teacher patient'. She never complained nor seemed limited by the fact she could not speak clearly, barely move her limbs and required a feeding tube to eat. She teaches Beca to cook and honestly the cooking stuff was way too much. The author is also a food writer-but at least half the book was about recipes, selecting and preparing and cooking various ingredients etc. I also found it hard to believe that as Kate's condition continued to deteriorate (and she asked her husband who had been cheating to leave), Kate was able to on her own purchase, completely oversee renovations and decorate a new house. I would think she would have decreasing energy and since she could not speak, it would be too large a project to manage.
It's not a spoiler to say that of course at some point she dies, and than Beca finds something else to do. I'm not at all sure what the message was in this book. It never seemed as if Beca and Kate became good friends, in fact most of the time Beca was treated as an employee. Beca's extreme depression and demands to visit with Kate's family and friends seemed overdone.
March 10, 2023
Bec is a college student who is not sure she’s still interested in her major, working as a part-time waitress, and involved with a married man. Hoping to make some extra money over the summer, she answers an ad looking for a caregiver / helper for a woman suffering from ALS and is hired despite (or perhaps because of) her lack of relevant experience.
Kate is not an elderly person, but a vibrant 36-year-old former advertising executive now confined to a motorized wheelchair and having to rely on someone to bathe, dress and feed her. Slowly Bec becomes adept at the required tasks and comes to look on Kate as a friend and mentor.
This was at times very difficult to read. I could see Bec identifying more and more with Kate, and Kate relying on Bec as one would a best friend rather than an employed helper. And yet, Kate, kept a certain distance, because only she could, after all, truly experience this debilitating and ultimately terminal condition.
The title comes from an incident where Bec is speaking for Kate, whose speech is garbled at best. Kate, dissatisfied with Bec’s interpretation, informs her that when Bec is “translating” for Kate “You’re not you. You’re me.”
I knew “that scene” was coming and could hardly bear to watch it play out. And yet, there were still fifty pages to read. Fifty short pages for the author to resolve Bec’s grief and her sense of purpose. For her to find the path forward again.
It’s a great debut, and I’d be interested in reading more of her works.
Kate is not an elderly person, but a vibrant 36-year-old former advertising executive now confined to a motorized wheelchair and having to rely on someone to bathe, dress and feed her. Slowly Bec becomes adept at the required tasks and comes to look on Kate as a friend and mentor.
This was at times very difficult to read. I could see Bec identifying more and more with Kate, and Kate relying on Bec as one would a best friend rather than an employed helper. And yet, Kate, kept a certain distance, because only she could, after all, truly experience this debilitating and ultimately terminal condition.
The title comes from an incident where Bec is speaking for Kate, whose speech is garbled at best. Kate, dissatisfied with Bec’s interpretation, informs her that when Bec is “translating” for Kate “You’re not you. You’re me.”
I knew “that scene” was coming and could hardly bear to watch it play out. And yet, there were still fifty pages to read. Fifty short pages for the author to resolve Bec’s grief and her sense of purpose. For her to find the path forward again.
It’s a great debut, and I’d be interested in reading more of her works.
August 2, 2017
To start, a disclaimer: I have to admit that I watched the movie version first. There WILL be very SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE scattered throughout this review. You've been warned!
Though the book was published first, in 2006, they didn't release the movie till 2014...but I must say, this is one instance where I liked the movie more.
I heard you. What kind of self-proclaimed bookworm enjoys movies more than books, right? But sometimes movies just work better. (Example: LOTR. Books are great, but the movies are also great.) In the case of "You're Not You", I just felt like I got to know the characters more, in the movie version. Of course, certain liberties were taken; and they oddly changed things like the setting (from Madison, WI to Houston, TX in the movie; for some reason I can't grasp.)...but all in all, Bec in the movie (the lovely Emmy Rossum) seemed a lot more accessible. I felt her anxiety, her confusion - and the subplot surrounding her and her mom was much more fleshed out. The book was good in its own way, basically equivalent to a mostly-female, American-set "Me Before You", but I must say, I liked MBY much more than this. Bec just wasn't fleshed out enough as a character for me. Things she would do or say seemed repetitive; and I just didn't find her likeable. I'm not sure if that was the point, especially since the story is mainly focused on Kate, the one with the ALS, but it bothered me a bit because I didn't have that problem when watching the movie.
Of course, this is the underlying problem with watching movies before reading the books...it's hard to judge each as their own entity. It's precisely why I prefer to wait at least a month between movie and book, so I can go into the book with a fresh take on the story. But oh well.
"You're Not You" is a valuable book, shedding light on a mysterious and horribly-debilitating disease, and for these reasons, I do recommend it. I liked the book, I just didn't love it: so I'll give it three stars.
Though the book was published first, in 2006, they didn't release the movie till 2014...but I must say, this is one instance where I liked the movie more.
I heard you. What kind of self-proclaimed bookworm enjoys movies more than books, right? But sometimes movies just work better. (Example: LOTR. Books are great, but the movies are also great.) In the case of "You're Not You", I just felt like I got to know the characters more, in the movie version. Of course, certain liberties were taken; and they oddly changed things like the setting (from Madison, WI to Houston, TX in the movie; for some reason I can't grasp.)...but all in all, Bec in the movie (the lovely Emmy Rossum) seemed a lot more accessible. I felt her anxiety, her confusion - and the subplot surrounding her and her mom was much more fleshed out. The book was good in its own way, basically equivalent to a mostly-female, American-set "Me Before You", but I must say, I liked MBY much more than this. Bec just wasn't fleshed out enough as a character for me. Things she would do or say seemed repetitive; and I just didn't find her likeable. I'm not sure if that was the point, especially since the story is mainly focused on Kate, the one with the ALS, but it bothered me a bit because I didn't have that problem when watching the movie.
Of course, this is the underlying problem with watching movies before reading the books...it's hard to judge each as their own entity. It's precisely why I prefer to wait at least a month between movie and book, so I can go into the book with a fresh take on the story. But oh well.
"You're Not You" is a valuable book, shedding light on a mysterious and horribly-debilitating disease, and for these reasons, I do recommend it. I liked the book, I just didn't love it: so I'll give it three stars.
December 28, 2022
Multi-layered read! This is a complex story even if it seems like it's mainly about a few relationships. We experience the main character, Bec, evolving subtly throughout the story. There's a healthy mix of humor, frustration, sadness, loss and discovery as we follow Bec on her journey.
Bec is a flawed person, but she's earnestly flawed. Also, believable. In fact, that's one of the novel's strengths--the characters and situations make sense. There are no deus ex machinas nor artificial dramas. Bec often doubts herself, fails many challenges, but she's resilient, and that's what really pulled me in. While Bec's challenges are those of everyday life, she gets an ample helping of the heavy stuff when she goes to work for Kate. I liked how Kate is as thoroughly detailed as Bec. Even the secondary and minor characters in the story feel real in my head, as if I run into one of them in my own town.
The way Bec adapts to her role with Kate was, for me, the most emotionally impactful aspect. Wildgen explores some topics that you wouldn't expect from a story like this--a deep dive into cuisine, sex and desire, marital obligations, morality--which make it all the richer.
Bec is a flawed person, but she's earnestly flawed. Also, believable. In fact, that's one of the novel's strengths--the characters and situations make sense. There are no deus ex machinas nor artificial dramas. Bec often doubts herself, fails many challenges, but she's resilient, and that's what really pulled me in. While Bec's challenges are those of everyday life, she gets an ample helping of the heavy stuff when she goes to work for Kate. I liked how Kate is as thoroughly detailed as Bec. Even the secondary and minor characters in the story feel real in my head, as if I run into one of them in my own town.
The way Bec adapts to her role with Kate was, for me, the most emotionally impactful aspect. Wildgen explores some topics that you wouldn't expect from a story like this--a deep dive into cuisine, sex and desire, marital obligations, morality--which make it all the richer.
April 19, 2018
Bec apparently has an impeccable sense of smell. I wish I have counted the number of times the author mentioned various scents that just seemed like extravagant details. Other than this heightened sense, Bec is a very relatable character. Uncertain about her future, taking on a job out of her comfort zone, and personal growth through the experience seemed reasonable and added a layer of depth to a story that already consists of heavy topics and material. I really enjoyed the read and I look forward to watching the film.
February 18, 2021
A college student at loose ends struggles with the direction of her life. She’s in an affair with a married man, sort of going to school. She finds a summer job as a caregiver for Kate - an ALS patient. She has to learn to speak on Kate’s behalf - “You’re not you, you’re me”. In the end she basically helps Kate to die. Assisted suicide by not calling for help. Enjoyed reading about ALS. The story will stay with me. But it took me a long time to read - even on a holiday. Look forward to the movie though.
May 11, 2023
My husband who had been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease for 2 years at the age of 63 had all his symptoms reversed with Ayurveda medicine from natural herbs centre . com after undergoing their ALS/MND natural protocol. God Bless all Lou Gehrig’s disease Caregivers. Stay Strong, take small moments throughout the day to thank yourself, to love your self, and pray to whatever faith, star, spiritual force you believe in and ask for strength. I can personally vouch for these remedy but you would probably need to decide what works best for you.
March 11, 2017
This densely written novel is worth every minute spent reading it. The prose,the depth of character development, and the subjects tackled were all done in an exemplary fashion. No one could read this book and not be moved to feel, to think, to hope for more from author Michelle Wildgen. I had somehow missed You're Not You when it was published in 2006, but am so glad I discovered it eleven years later. There are several stories going on at once....a lovely young woman (Kate) in her 30's has lived with ALS for several years when the story begins. She seems to have a loving husband (Evan) who is caring for her with help from friends, and now from a young college student, Bec, as well. Bec's storyline is a major part of the novel, along with Kate's and Evan's. Bec has fallen for a married professor at her university. She lives with her best friend, Jill, who doesn't judge, but knows Bec is not making a great choice by becoming involved with Liam, the married professor. No character is perfect, nor wholly bad, as they are human, after all. Bec and Kate have a close and intimate relationship, built upon Kate's necessity to trust Bec with her personal thoughts and care. Kate cannot care for herself, but her mind is fully functioning and she is a bright, strong willed woman. Over time, the personal lives of all the characters go through transformations and upheavals, all while Kate's health continues to decline. I stayed up well into the night to finish this book. I know that I could never, in a review, completely describe the beauty and intensity of the words and plot, but I can tell you this is a book not to be missed. I hope to find a copy of the movie, but already know it cannot possibly capture all that was so eloquently presented in the pages of the novel.
September 26, 2017
This book was painful to read, not due to the subject matter, but the writing was horrendous. I don’t even think an editor looked at it due to the glaring continuity errors (Did Bec meet Liam in January or February? It changes with each paragraph). I forced myself to finish his book just so I could be done with it. I am so glad I don’t have to read about Bec anymore. She just might be the worst main character ever.
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