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Once on a Time
"This is an odd book" or so states the author in 1917 for his first introduction. A fairytale with seven league boots, a princess, an enchantment, and the Countess Belvane. As Milne wrote in a later introduction: "But, as you see, I am still finding it difficult to explain just what sort of book it is. Perhaps no explanation is necessary. Read in it what you like; read it to whomever you like; be of what age you like; it can only fall into one of the two classes. Either you will enjoy it, or you won't. It is that sort of book."
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1917
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1439 people want to read
About the author
A.A. Milne
1,750 books3,626 followersAlan Alexander Milne (pronounced /ˈmɪln/) was an English author, best known for his books about the teddy bear Winnie-the-Pooh and for various children's poems.
A. A. Milne was born in Kilburn, London, to parents Vince Milne and Sarah Marie Milne (née Heginbotham) and grew up at Henley House School, 6/7 Mortimer Road (now Crescent), Kilburn, a small public school run by his father. One of his teachers was H. G. Wells who taught there in 1889–90. Milne attended Westminster School and Trinity College, Cambridge, where he studied on a mathematics scholarship. While there, he edited and wrote for Granta, a student magazine. He collaborated with his brother Kenneth and their articles appeared over the initials AKM. Milne's work came to the attention of the leading British humour magazine Punch, where Milne was to become a contributor and later an assistant editor.
Milne joined the British Army in World War I and served as an officer in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment and later, after a debilitating illness, the Royal Corps of Signals. He was discharged on February 14, 1919.
After the war, he wrote a denunciation of war titled Peace with Honour (1934), which he retracted somewhat with 1940's War with Honour. During World War II, Milne was one of the most prominent critics of English writer P. G. Wodehouse, who was captured at his country home in France by the Nazis and imprisoned for a year. Wodehouse made radio broadcasts about his internment, which were broadcast from Berlin. Although the light-hearted broadcasts made fun of the Germans, Milne accused Wodehouse of committing an act of near treason by cooperating with his country's enemy. Wodehouse got some revenge on his former friend by creating fatuous parodies of the Christopher Robin poems in some of his later stories, and claiming that Milne "was probably jealous of all other writers.... But I loved his stuff."
He married Dorothy "Daphne" de Sélincourt in 1913, and their only son, Christopher Robin Milne, was born in 1920. In 1925, A. A. Milne bought a country home, Cotchford Farm, in Hartfield, East Sussex. During World War II, A. A. Milne was Captain of the Home Guard in Hartfield & Forest Row, insisting on being plain 'Mr. Milne' to the members of his platoon. He retired to the farm after a stroke and brain surgery in 1952 left him an invalid and by August 1953 "he seemed very old and disenchanted".
He was 74 years old when he passed away in 1956.
A. A. Milne was born in Kilburn, London, to parents Vince Milne and Sarah Marie Milne (née Heginbotham) and grew up at Henley House School, 6/7 Mortimer Road (now Crescent), Kilburn, a small public school run by his father. One of his teachers was H. G. Wells who taught there in 1889–90. Milne attended Westminster School and Trinity College, Cambridge, where he studied on a mathematics scholarship. While there, he edited and wrote for Granta, a student magazine. He collaborated with his brother Kenneth and their articles appeared over the initials AKM. Milne's work came to the attention of the leading British humour magazine Punch, where Milne was to become a contributor and later an assistant editor.
Milne joined the British Army in World War I and served as an officer in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment and later, after a debilitating illness, the Royal Corps of Signals. He was discharged on February 14, 1919.
After the war, he wrote a denunciation of war titled Peace with Honour (1934), which he retracted somewhat with 1940's War with Honour. During World War II, Milne was one of the most prominent critics of English writer P. G. Wodehouse, who was captured at his country home in France by the Nazis and imprisoned for a year. Wodehouse made radio broadcasts about his internment, which were broadcast from Berlin. Although the light-hearted broadcasts made fun of the Germans, Milne accused Wodehouse of committing an act of near treason by cooperating with his country's enemy. Wodehouse got some revenge on his former friend by creating fatuous parodies of the Christopher Robin poems in some of his later stories, and claiming that Milne "was probably jealous of all other writers.... But I loved his stuff."
He married Dorothy "Daphne" de Sélincourt in 1913, and their only son, Christopher Robin Milne, was born in 1920. In 1925, A. A. Milne bought a country home, Cotchford Farm, in Hartfield, East Sussex. During World War II, A. A. Milne was Captain of the Home Guard in Hartfield & Forest Row, insisting on being plain 'Mr. Milne' to the members of his platoon. He retired to the farm after a stroke and brain surgery in 1952 left him an invalid and by August 1953 "he seemed very old and disenchanted".
He was 74 years old when he passed away in 1956.
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March 14, 2021
CORRECTED AN OOPS. ATTEMPTED AN EXPLANATION. MIGHT BE A TAD CLEARER, MIGHT NOT. STILL SNARKY. and the first usage of “throwing shade”!
If both of my parents hadn’t been children raised during the worst of the depression (in my mother’s case, dramatic riches to rags, so when she died, millions had been unspent, but thousands of used toothbrushes, Redwood-forests-worth of Christmas cards, and tiny pencil bits, were carefully collected against the next financial catastrophe) anyway - if they hadn’t carefully indoctrinated me with the necessity to Make A Living GodDammIt, i would have been a historian. I love history. There you go.
This has very little to do with the Plot of Mr. Milne's book. His is a tale about the foolishness of kings, how easily they are manipulated by their inflated egos and microscopic intellects, and how disproportionate their power is. Coincidentally, it was written during WWI. Hmmm.
So, once on a time, there was a boy born to an inbred queen who was married to an inbred royal who was (wait for it…) her third cousin. Or just her cousin. I mean, by the time you’re that inbred, who can count to 3?
But the boy wanted to be a king!! And his frigging mother wouldn’t die! No i’m not talking about ugly, racist Charles, I’m talking about Edward the 7th (“the age of men”!). So, although he wasn’t born altogether ugly, he became a hideous bully because his sassy-pants weren’t big and shiny enough and his idiot nephew William/Wilhelm (whatever!) had a country/empire (whatever!) that was becoming more successful than Eddie’s, well, the one that would eventually be Eddie’s if mummy (Queen Victoria) would frigging ever die already, was at the moment. That creep Bismarck in Germany thought industrialization was better for economic progress than just stealing from people whose skin was darker than ours, (here in England) was. And, damn, it was working (mind you this was 1900, and the Boer War wasn’t working either, despite the neat idea of “concentration camps” filled with darling Dutch children...drat, drat, double drat!) So Eddie spent all that time arranging, bullying, assassinating, manipulating, and screwing around (that latter bit in France, mostly) encircling Wilhelm’s lands and his gorgeous mustache, getting ready to finally beat the bloody hell out of his nephew. Well, to be truthful, he did hit Willy once, mid “diplomatic meeting”, but mostly Big Ed’s plotting was bloody war on Germany's innocent farmers and their families. And “allies”. What fun!
http://american_almanac.tripod.com/ed...
One has a lot of time, apparently, when all one has to do is to wait for one’s crazy widowed mother (aka Mrs. John Brown) to die.
Bring on World War One when A.A. Milne wrote this delightful Fairy Tale for us; this slaughter of innocents created for (and by) the diversion of Ed7 (but which he died too soon to enjoy). I finished this book, perfectly, the week of the Oprah Meghan chat. Ta dum. No one but A. A. Milne could so sweetly sucker punch the idiocy of kings. The idea of “aristocracy”.
Monarchy. I am brought to mind: the Obvious Superiority of the Hapsburgs - especially that stunner Charles II whose chin was so huge he couldn’t speak, stop drooling, or, gosh darn it, make babies. Another confusing end to obscene inherited wealth, er- precious metal stolen from Turtle Island and Pachamama - but i digress.
Back to our fairy tale. When asked what his story was about, all A. A. would say was that one would like it or, perhaps, not. I did. Very much. It is about the likelihood (i imagine, anyway, not having much experience in this regard) that, if one is King and if your breakfast is disturbed by a shadow* created by someone else’s activity, then, perforce, one should declare war on that person. Well, of course. Ask Eddy. He has had plenty of LaDeeDa time to think about it. And mummy knows just the necromancer who can contact him. ‘Course ya might need another necromancer to reach mummy (akaEmpressofIndiaRulerofBritanniaGrandestofAllBoopahsEva WiththeTwinkliestTiaras&AlbertStillSaysImPrettiest andRemindHimofHisGrandmasooocute!) who can be summoned, i have on excellent authority, via a “Miss LaTrina” the Magnificent, who can be found under an “imperial purple” genuine imitation silk tent near Coney Island. I receive absolutely no financial remuneration for this referral.
Furthermore, the ideas and thoughts of kings are held as deeply as yesterday’s flirtations.
“...humour, if I may say so, which, while evidencing to the ignorant only the lighter side of war, has its roots in the most fundamental strategic considerations.”
Isn't that sublime? Did you also note that 'Sublime' and 'Milne' are essentially anagrams? Well, except "snub"?
After the stupidest, most murderous, infectious-shit-filled-trenches, millions of confused dead-rat for dinner again?-ennui /destruction- “four inches today!!” WTF world war to (that) date... Then what?
The inbred "winners" of WWI slap-dashed (also known as Sykes-Picoted) maps, randomly slicing up the old Ottoman Empire and gifting us the stable democratic middle east of the 20th century. Assigning new puppetry and giving them royal titles. As the teratogens all monarchs are, they became the Sauds, the Assads, the Hashemites. Well, of course. Their lands became sunny, blessed universes where one finds universal suffrage, with equal adult enfranchisement; racism and sexism have been eliminated in favor of equitable access to education and economic opportunity --oh wait, that’s in my dreams. In Saudi Arabia, the BFF of the UK and the USA, in 2021 a grandmother can not walk down the street (or drive, of course) to the market without a permission slip from the eldest male in the household, even if that is her 4 year old grandson. Thanks, Britannia! Once again, we find the world bettered for your inbreeding program. And clotted cream.
And 100 years later, people as frighteningly ugly as Charles worry that his grandchild might look like Meghan Markle?
Ironically, there’s a happy ending to this book. i do love all things A. A. Milne. And England did give the world A.A. Milne. And Monty Python. And the brave men who ascended Rum Doodle...i could go on, but it is clear i can no longer follow my thoughts.
_______
*Could this be the first documented use of “throwing shade” 104 years ago between the All Important (just ask them) kings of Barodia and Euralia? Have we learned that lesson?
If both of my parents hadn’t been children raised during the worst of the depression (in my mother’s case, dramatic riches to rags, so when she died, millions had been unspent, but thousands of used toothbrushes, Redwood-forests-worth of Christmas cards, and tiny pencil bits, were carefully collected against the next financial catastrophe) anyway - if they hadn’t carefully indoctrinated me with the necessity to Make A Living GodDammIt, i would have been a historian. I love history. There you go.
This has very little to do with the Plot of Mr. Milne's book. His is a tale about the foolishness of kings, how easily they are manipulated by their inflated egos and microscopic intellects, and how disproportionate their power is. Coincidentally, it was written during WWI. Hmmm.
So, once on a time, there was a boy born to an inbred queen who was married to an inbred royal who was (wait for it…) her third cousin. Or just her cousin. I mean, by the time you’re that inbred, who can count to 3?
But the boy wanted to be a king!! And his frigging mother wouldn’t die! No i’m not talking about ugly, racist Charles, I’m talking about Edward the 7th (“the age of men”!). So, although he wasn’t born altogether ugly, he became a hideous bully because his sassy-pants weren’t big and shiny enough and his idiot nephew William/Wilhelm (whatever!) had a country/empire (whatever!) that was becoming more successful than Eddie’s, well, the one that would eventually be Eddie’s if mummy (Queen Victoria) would frigging ever die already, was at the moment. That creep Bismarck in Germany thought industrialization was better for economic progress than just stealing from people whose skin was darker than ours, (here in England) was. And, damn, it was working (mind you this was 1900, and the Boer War wasn’t working either, despite the neat idea of “concentration camps” filled with darling Dutch children...drat, drat, double drat!) So Eddie spent all that time arranging, bullying, assassinating, manipulating, and screwing around (that latter bit in France, mostly) encircling Wilhelm’s lands and his gorgeous mustache, getting ready to finally beat the bloody hell out of his nephew. Well, to be truthful, he did hit Willy once, mid “diplomatic meeting”, but mostly Big Ed’s plotting was bloody war on Germany's innocent farmers and their families. And “allies”. What fun!
http://american_almanac.tripod.com/ed...
One has a lot of time, apparently, when all one has to do is to wait for one’s crazy widowed mother (aka Mrs. John Brown) to die.
Bring on World War One when A.A. Milne wrote this delightful Fairy Tale for us; this slaughter of innocents created for (and by) the diversion of Ed7 (but which he died too soon to enjoy). I finished this book, perfectly, the week of the Oprah Meghan chat. Ta dum. No one but A. A. Milne could so sweetly sucker punch the idiocy of kings. The idea of “aristocracy”.
Monarchy. I am brought to mind: the Obvious Superiority of the Hapsburgs - especially that stunner Charles II whose chin was so huge he couldn’t speak, stop drooling, or, gosh darn it, make babies. Another confusing end to obscene inherited wealth, er- precious metal stolen from Turtle Island and Pachamama - but i digress.
Back to our fairy tale. When asked what his story was about, all A. A. would say was that one would like it or, perhaps, not. I did. Very much. It is about the likelihood (i imagine, anyway, not having much experience in this regard) that, if one is King and if your breakfast is disturbed by a shadow* created by someone else’s activity, then, perforce, one should declare war on that person. Well, of course. Ask Eddy. He has had plenty of LaDeeDa time to think about it. And mummy knows just the necromancer who can contact him. ‘Course ya might need another necromancer to reach mummy (akaEmpressofIndiaRulerofBritanniaGrandestofAllBoopahsEva WiththeTwinkliestTiaras&AlbertStillSaysImPrettiest andRemindHimofHisGrandmasooocute!) who can be summoned, i have on excellent authority, via a “Miss LaTrina” the Magnificent, who can be found under an “imperial purple” genuine imitation silk tent near Coney Island. I receive absolutely no financial remuneration for this referral.
Furthermore, the ideas and thoughts of kings are held as deeply as yesterday’s flirtations.
“...humour, if I may say so, which, while evidencing to the ignorant only the lighter side of war, has its roots in the most fundamental strategic considerations.”
Isn't that sublime? Did you also note that 'Sublime' and 'Milne' are essentially anagrams? Well, except "snub"?
After the stupidest, most murderous, infectious-shit-filled-trenches, millions of confused dead-rat for dinner again?-ennui /destruction- “four inches today!!” WTF world war to (that) date... Then what?
The inbred "winners" of WWI slap-dashed (also known as Sykes-Picoted) maps, randomly slicing up the old Ottoman Empire and gifting us the stable democratic middle east of the 20th century. Assigning new puppetry and giving them royal titles. As the teratogens all monarchs are, they became the Sauds, the Assads, the Hashemites. Well, of course. Their lands became sunny, blessed universes where one finds universal suffrage, with equal adult enfranchisement; racism and sexism have been eliminated in favor of equitable access to education and economic opportunity --oh wait, that’s in my dreams. In Saudi Arabia, the BFF of the UK and the USA, in 2021 a grandmother can not walk down the street (or drive, of course) to the market without a permission slip from the eldest male in the household, even if that is her 4 year old grandson. Thanks, Britannia! Once again, we find the world bettered for your inbreeding program. And clotted cream.
And 100 years later, people as frighteningly ugly as Charles worry that his grandchild might look like Meghan Markle?
Ironically, there’s a happy ending to this book. i do love all things A. A. Milne. And England did give the world A.A. Milne. And Monty Python. And the brave men who ascended Rum Doodle...i could go on, but it is clear i can no longer follow my thoughts.
_______
*Could this be the first documented use of “throwing shade” 104 years ago between the All Important (just ask them) kings of Barodia and Euralia? Have we learned that lesson?
September 22, 2009
This fairy tale written for adults is so much more. It is, on the surface, a satire of other fairy tales with the prerequisite King, Princess, Prince, "evil" Countess, and magic. Unlike fairy tales written for children, we dig a little deeper into the workings of the mind of these characters, and learn that what's on the surface isn't always the motivating factor.
Milne wrote this after being in WWI, so he also used this tale to look at how easy it is to start a war, (for some rather silly reasons), and how most people fighting don't really want to hurt another human.
While thinking about what else I want to say about the novel, the song "On the Steps of the Palace" from "Into the Woods" comes to mind:
Although how can you know who you are,
Till you know what you want, which you don't,
This theme runs through the storyline, also. The characters are pretty sure they know what they want. The king, to win a war. The Princess, to marry a prince. The Prince, to be a hero and win the hand of a Princess. All with surprising results.
Milne wrote this after being in WWI, so he also used this tale to look at how easy it is to start a war, (for some rather silly reasons), and how most people fighting don't really want to hurt another human.
While thinking about what else I want to say about the novel, the song "On the Steps of the Palace" from "Into the Woods" comes to mind:
Although how can you know who you are,
Till you know what you want, which you don't,
This theme runs through the storyline, also. The characters are pretty sure they know what they want. The king, to win a war. The Princess, to marry a prince. The Prince, to be a hero and win the hand of a Princess. All with surprising results.
June 6, 2021
A fairy tale for grown up children. Great fun and very light-hearted. A.A. Milne's writing for adults is a great pick-me-up.
April 22, 2011
To anyone who thinks Milne only wrote books for very young children: boy, are you missing out! A. A. Milne is the author of an extensive canon of clever, whimsical and humorous writing, and this charming fairytale, according to the author himself, is one of his favourites. Written in 1915, this story includes a power-hungry Countess, a couple of foolish kings, an arrogant prince and his much-preferable wing-man, and a princess who is not at all sure she needs to be rescued. I can't help it; anymore these days every reading I do is a feminist reading. That's just the filter through which I see the world now. I'm not saying this is a perfect piece of feminist literature (it was written by a privileged white male in 1915, after all, and that would be a LOT to ask), but I have few complaints about the story, and they hardly seem worth mentioning in the face of all the giggles and enjoyment Milne provides. The female characters are no more silly or otherwise flawed than their male counterparts, nor are they any more in need of rescue. Sure, you have the stereotype of the conniving, older gold-digger versus the conventionally "good" young princess and her sweet and innocent maidservants, but neither of the lead females are two-dimensional, and I loved the fact that when the king goes off to (an admittedly very silly) war, he has no qualms about leaving his 17-year-old daughter in charge. She takes her role as ruler very seriously, and seems much more concerned about governing well than about romance. How could one not love a fairytale wherein the princess thinks of the handsome prince who comes to her rescue: "Moreover he was just a little too sure of his position in her house. She had wanted his help, but she did not want so much of it as she seemed to be likely to get." All in all, Milne spins a wonderful tale, turning many of the usual fairytale tropes on their heads. A great read, especially for ages 9-12. Highly recommended.
February 12, 2014
I love nonsense. I love fairytales. I love A.A. Milne. Is there anything more to be said? Oh yes. Read this, please.
June 11, 2018
4,25 sterren - Paperback - I have dyslexia -
My mother read this to us. My sister and me. Later when I worked as a au pair In England I found a copy in the libary. Loved to read it for myself now. 🌹🌷
My mother read this to us. My sister and me. Later when I worked as a au pair In England I found a copy in the libary. Loved to read it for myself now. 🌹🌷
November 20, 2012
This is probably one of my favorite comedies of all time! Its HILARIOUS. At some points I had to stop reading it 'cause I was laughing so hard that everyone was looking at me like i was insane. Would recommend this to anyone.
April 20, 2017
This book by AA Milne is a fairytale but not a fairytale. it is an odd book. More for adults than for children. The kind of story that every time you read it you will find something new within it.
For me it is very hard to explain the story/book. But I truly did enjoy it!
I have included this link in hopes that you may get a better understanding of this wonderful book.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_...
For me it is very hard to explain the story/book. But I truly did enjoy it!
I have included this link in hopes that you may get a better understanding of this wonderful book.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 24, 2017
Okay so the long story about how I got this book was already posted before but I love how I got my hands on classic books without having to pay a single penny (since I'm very broke that makes things so easy). I don't know many second hand stores in my home town so it's difficult to find but I've got some and this is another classic book from the same writer as Winnie the Pooh.
I must say the book was alright, it was not very interesting story wise, it was very nicely written though and putting that all together gives a mixture of it was okay. I like the way it's writing, putting in notes from the author whom wrote the book and how he got to the point and how another author that wrote the information was mentioned. Nicely done. Shame that already in the beginning it is said that Belvane is the evil b-witch. But in the end she was quite alright as soon as she got to be Queen I assume, or at least that's what Hyacinth said more or less.
I don't think I will read it again but it was definitely worth my time for the first time. I wouldn't mind reading more from Milne, but first need to get my hands on his books. I would say it was just a basic fairy tale story but with other inputs and the way of writing made it difficult but princess marries lover and they live happily ever after, tada done.
I must say the book was alright, it was not very interesting story wise, it was very nicely written though and putting that all together gives a mixture of it was okay. I like the way it's writing, putting in notes from the author whom wrote the book and how he got to the point and how another author that wrote the information was mentioned. Nicely done. Shame that already in the beginning it is said that Belvane is the evil b-witch. But in the end she was quite alright as soon as she got to be Queen I assume, or at least that's what Hyacinth said more or less.
I don't think I will read it again but it was definitely worth my time for the first time. I wouldn't mind reading more from Milne, but first need to get my hands on his books. I would say it was just a basic fairy tale story but with other inputs and the way of writing made it difficult but princess marries lover and they live happily ever after, tada done.
April 14, 2013
Absolutely charming and delightfully silly. Pure fluff of a story, with no purpose but to amuse, and yet the humor never feels forced, or even like the main focus, even though it's incredibly funny the entire way through. A line can be so casually inserted into a scene that you almost don't know how funny it is until you realize you just had to stop reading for two minutes so you could laugh. Fantastic book for reading aloud, too.
January 12, 2021
I enjoyed this story and the kids got more out of it than I thought they would. The first time I read it to the kids, and I thought it was a bit strange but quite amusing. Years later, one of the kids read it to everyone during car rides, and we enjoyed it on new levels, partly because we were able to discuss its qualities from new perspectives. Lots of enchanting scenes, but there is more than surface quality in the story. Dig deep and there are treasures to be found.
October 23, 2016
whimsically funny little novel that twists well known fairy tale elements into a quite enjoyable albeit pretty weird story for adults.
February 24, 2018
well that was adorable.
December 10, 2021
I love shopping at used book stores because you never know what you might find. The only reason I know this book existed is because of one of those shopping trips. I recognized the author’s name (“Is that the Winnie the Pooh guy?”) and liked the cover, so that was it. I bought it.
And then forgot about it for years.
I’m so glad I remembered it now! This book is funny. Not in a Oh-I-get-why-kids-would-like-this way, but in a I’m-giggling-every-other-page way. Plus, according to Milne in the introduction, he feels like this is his best book.
Once On a Time (not “Upon” but “On”) is a hidden treasure. See if you can find your own copy and enjoy.
And then forgot about it for years.
I’m so glad I remembered it now! This book is funny. Not in a Oh-I-get-why-kids-would-like-this way, but in a I’m-giggling-every-other-page way. Plus, according to Milne in the introduction, he feels like this is his best book.
Once On a Time (not “Upon” but “On”) is a hidden treasure. See if you can find your own copy and enjoy.
August 14, 2024
What a funny, fanciful, fantastic story. I didn't expect this from Milne, but I highly recommend it.
January 19, 2015
What a clever and charming little book.
“But suppose you really were an animal altogether, it wouldn’t annoy you at all. An elephant isn’t annoyed at being an elephant; he just tries to be a good elephant, and he’d be miserable if he couldn’t do things with his trunk. The annoying thing is to look like an elephant, to have the very complicated--er--inside of an elephant, and yet all the time really to be a man.”
By no means is this a quote from the book I have shared for the reason that I believe it sums up all that this book is trying to say. That would be a bit impossible. Because I don’t think I’m sure at all what this book might be trying to say...I don’t believe it’s even sure what it’s trying to say. But like having that one cousin who’s not quite the sharpest tool in shed, you can’t help but love it anyway.
I first had this book read to me a good while back, more than ten years even (I’m 21 now). My mom got a kick out of it and thought I would too; however, the humor was a little beyond me at the time. (I have the strangest memory of a scene involving flying fish, which, after re-reading it, evidently doesn’t exist--if that says anything.) I fondly remember my mom laughing out loud on more than one occasion, but unfortunately that never happened for me this time around. Nevertheless I found this book to be equally charming, witty, whimsical, and entertaining. The ridiculousness of it! The absurd morals and sketchy magic! The backwards logic and shenanigans! Not to mention the adorable illustrations.
Particularly, some things I liked.
The Premise: Basically. Two Kings go to war over a case of invasion of privacy and magical, flying boots. The men leave town and the women are left to run the country. We get a couple glimpses of the war (wait, what war?) on the home front, but mostly we follow the naive yet honest Princess Hyacinth and the sleuthy, not-poet Countess Belvane. As mentioned, shenanigans ensue. The princess doesn’t cope well with her newfound responsibility (in her defense, she is 16) and Belvane is closing in with her trickery, embezzling all the money she can while the time is ripe. The princess calls upon nearby Prince Udo of Araby to come forth and assist her, but he is turned into a fluffy, furry, pointy-eared animal by Belvane’s enchantment, and spends most of his time at the palace trying to make himself right again. Things begin to spiral out of control and Princess Hyacinth is forced to take matters into her own hands. Obviously it was nice to see that, though this is a fairytale written in the very early 20th century, the women were given more dynamic and engaging roles to play. Not that I didn’t have some problems with them, but overall it was more interesting to read.
Frame Story: There was a bit of a frame story and it added verve and authenticity--as absurd as this book was. We have the narrator, who likes to make small diverges from “recorded history” to put in his own two sense, coming head to heads quite often with the “historian” Roger Scurvilegs. There were even moments where you weren’t sure if he was giving you the whole truth...or perhaps too much of it.
If there’s anything negative to say here it’s that there was no wow factor, none at all really. Unless you just absolutely 100% adore A. A. Milne’s humor style, which I agree is quite good, you might feel the same way.
Then again, there are some little gems in here.
“What do you do, Wiggs,” [Princess Hyacinth] asked, “when you are very lonely and nobody loves you?”
“Dance,” said Wiggs promptly.
Like I said, little gems. Little gems in a little gem of a book.
“But suppose you really were an animal altogether, it wouldn’t annoy you at all. An elephant isn’t annoyed at being an elephant; he just tries to be a good elephant, and he’d be miserable if he couldn’t do things with his trunk. The annoying thing is to look like an elephant, to have the very complicated--er--inside of an elephant, and yet all the time really to be a man.”
By no means is this a quote from the book I have shared for the reason that I believe it sums up all that this book is trying to say. That would be a bit impossible. Because I don’t think I’m sure at all what this book might be trying to say...I don’t believe it’s even sure what it’s trying to say. But like having that one cousin who’s not quite the sharpest tool in shed, you can’t help but love it anyway.
I first had this book read to me a good while back, more than ten years even (I’m 21 now). My mom got a kick out of it and thought I would too; however, the humor was a little beyond me at the time. (I have the strangest memory of a scene involving flying fish, which, after re-reading it, evidently doesn’t exist--if that says anything.) I fondly remember my mom laughing out loud on more than one occasion, but unfortunately that never happened for me this time around. Nevertheless I found this book to be equally charming, witty, whimsical, and entertaining. The ridiculousness of it! The absurd morals and sketchy magic! The backwards logic and shenanigans! Not to mention the adorable illustrations.
Particularly, some things I liked.
The Premise: Basically. Two Kings go to war over a case of invasion of privacy and magical, flying boots. The men leave town and the women are left to run the country. We get a couple glimpses of the war (wait, what war?) on the home front, but mostly we follow the naive yet honest Princess Hyacinth and the sleuthy, not-poet Countess Belvane. As mentioned, shenanigans ensue. The princess doesn’t cope well with her newfound responsibility (in her defense, she is 16) and Belvane is closing in with her trickery, embezzling all the money she can while the time is ripe. The princess calls upon nearby Prince Udo of Araby to come forth and assist her, but he is turned into a fluffy, furry, pointy-eared animal by Belvane’s enchantment, and spends most of his time at the palace trying to make himself right again. Things begin to spiral out of control and Princess Hyacinth is forced to take matters into her own hands. Obviously it was nice to see that, though this is a fairytale written in the very early 20th century, the women were given more dynamic and engaging roles to play. Not that I didn’t have some problems with them, but overall it was more interesting to read.
Frame Story: There was a bit of a frame story and it added verve and authenticity--as absurd as this book was. We have the narrator, who likes to make small diverges from “recorded history” to put in his own two sense, coming head to heads quite often with the “historian” Roger Scurvilegs. There were even moments where you weren’t sure if he was giving you the whole truth...or perhaps too much of it.
If there’s anything negative to say here it’s that there was no wow factor, none at all really. Unless you just absolutely 100% adore A. A. Milne’s humor style, which I agree is quite good, you might feel the same way.
Then again, there are some little gems in here.
“What do you do, Wiggs,” [Princess Hyacinth] asked, “when you are very lonely and nobody loves you?”
“Dance,” said Wiggs promptly.
Like I said, little gems. Little gems in a little gem of a book.
October 24, 2022
”I adore poetry,” said the King, who had himself written a rhymed couplet which could be said either forward or backward, and in the latter position was useful for removing enchantments. According to the eminent historian Roger Scurvilegs, it had some vogue in Euralia and went like this:
‘Bo, boll, bill, bole.
Wo, woll, will, wole.’
A pleasing idea, temperately expressed.
“A pleasing idea, temperately expressed.” It’s my kind of humor, okay?! I cackled into my silent, shadowy house at eleven at night and went on chuckling periodically thereafter.
This book was in general a delight. It had A. A. Milne’s signature jokes that you don’t know are jokes till you’re already past them, and it’s the going past them obliviously like that that constitutes the joke. The swineherd gag went on for far longer than I thought was possible. I was pleased with how all the storylines worked themselves out, and the only thing better than the narrator’s sort of reluctant, exasperated fondness for the eminent historian Roger Scurvilegs is his blatant partisanship toward Belvane—who is, in fact, the villainess of the piece.
‘Bo, boll, bill, bole.
Wo, woll, will, wole.’
A pleasing idea, temperately expressed.
“A pleasing idea, temperately expressed.” It’s my kind of humor, okay?! I cackled into my silent, shadowy house at eleven at night and went on chuckling periodically thereafter.
This book was in general a delight. It had A. A. Milne’s signature jokes that you don’t know are jokes till you’re already past them, and it’s the going past them obliviously like that that constitutes the joke. The swineherd gag went on for far longer than I thought was possible. I was pleased with how all the storylines worked themselves out, and the only thing better than the narrator’s sort of reluctant, exasperated fondness for the eminent historian Roger Scurvilegs is his blatant partisanship toward Belvane—who is, in fact, the villainess of the piece.
May 30, 2008
This wickedly funny satire deserves a wider audience. It's not really a children's book, although I first read it as a child because it was there on the library shelf in the children's section. It was a small library and I was running out of books. Hey, this one has a pink cover and looks like it might be fun to read...
It wasn't until I found the book again on the children's shelf of the library, but this time as an adult to read to my own children, that I realized what a gem it was and what was really going on in what seems like a very silly children's story on the surface.
It wasn't until I found the book again on the children's shelf of the library, but this time as an adult to read to my own children, that I realized what a gem it was and what was really going on in what seems like a very silly children's story on the surface.
August 29, 2012
Charmingly told, but wow. I have serious issues with the ending!
July 31, 2017
This book was genius. It is also what it claimed to be: a fairy-tale for adults. The characters are amusing and addictive, the story-line is ingenious, the conversations and observations were enough to reduce one to tears of laughter. I read it the first time when I was still in elementary school, but it is one book that has certainly grown better with time!
April 1, 2008
This was a delightful read. I loved how Milne is able to create very consistent characters. While I will probably always call Pooh my favorite of Milne's (and "The Red House Mystery" my favorite adult novel of his), this was truly very fun to read.
March 25, 2014
A fairy tale filled with wit and humor, I very much enjoyed it. I think Pixar should make a movie out of it.
February 23, 2019
Light and entertaining read for the young at heart! This little gem of a book seems to lovingly poke fun at the typical fairytale, which somewhat reminded me of Princess Bride.
September 11, 2021
So I grew up with a paperback edition of Once on a Time illustrated by Susan Perl. This year I treated myself to a 1925 edition featuring the much different illustrations done by English artist Charles Robinson. The Robinson illustrations, largely black-and-white with one color frontispeace of the Princess, are charming. And his interpretation of Prince Udo's transformation and the Countess Belvane's allure are quite lovely. But if you saw it from a distance, you'd think that this is just a fantasy, a typical fairy tale, and not the sly commentary on man, beast, and ladies confined to castles that it is. So I had to go out and buy the hardcover edition with Perl's illustrations. So now I own three copies of the same story. It's all right. Each time I get a new copy of an old favorite, I must read it again. So I'm off to march round and round the tree with the Amazon army that is only Woggs. And if you haven't met Woggs yet, you may want to hunt down a copy for yourself.
February 26, 2018
first read this book when I was in my early teens- lo, almost 50 years ago now! But for some reason it popped back into my mind a while back, so I located a copy and re-read it.
It was pretty entertaining, and a lot better than my memory had lead me to expect!
It IS very, exceedingly silly. While there are nuances that will likely fly over kids' heads but are fun for adults (no, nothing violent or tawdry), it's pretty child-appropriate.
And while traditional sex/gender roles permeate the plot, it is interesting that Milne's focus is on the "home front", and it's the women's actions and decisions that drive the plot.
It would be a good read-aloud book for reading to kids.
It was pretty entertaining, and a lot better than my memory had lead me to expect!
It IS very, exceedingly silly. While there are nuances that will likely fly over kids' heads but are fun for adults (no, nothing violent or tawdry), it's pretty child-appropriate.
And while traditional sex/gender roles permeate the plot, it is interesting that Milne's focus is on the "home front", and it's the women's actions and decisions that drive the plot.
It would be a good read-aloud book for reading to kids.
June 12, 2022
I imagine Milne just had way too much fun writing this. It shows. Very whimsical, very witty, very British!
December 31, 2017
In the introduction to this book A.A. Milne (of Winnie-the-Pooh fame) said: "I am still finding it difficult to explain just what sort of book it is...it can only fall into one of two classes. Either you will enjoy it, or you won't. It is that sort of book."
Oh my goodness. I thoroughly fell into the former category! The story is silly and whimsical, and while I probably wouldn't have liked it based off the plot alone, it's Milne's sparkling wit ad wordplay that made me love it. Milne's delightful tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from the Poohbear books is on full display, but with added spice of satire and a hint of sarcasm. I underlined so many quotes that made me laugh out loud--something very few books can do (hat tip to James Herriott who tops that list).
Probably the best way I can review this book is simply to quote some of the lines I loved, so that is what I will do (even though I'm sure they are funnier in context). If you love Poohbear, by all means read this hilariously clever little fairy tale.
"In any trouble Belvane comforted herself by reading up her diary. She undid the enormous volume, and, idly turning the pages, read some of the more delightful extracts to herself. "Monday, June 1st," she read. "Became bad." She gave a sigh of resignation to the necessity of being bad. Roger Scurvilegs is of the opinion that she might have sighed a good many years before. According to him she was born bad. "Tuesday, June 2nd," she read on. "Realized in the privacy of my heart that I was destined to rule the country. Wednesday, June 3rd. Decided to oust the Princess. Thursday, June 4th. Began ousting."
"Wiggs looked puzzled. She had been dusting the books in the library; and when you dust books you simply must stop every now and then to take just one little peep inside, and then you look inside another one and another one, and by the time you have finished dusting, your head is so full of things you have seen that you have to be asked questions very slowly indeed."
"Woggs I find nearly as difficult to explain as Wiggs; it is a terrible thing for an author to have a lot of people running about his book, without any invitation from him at all."
"Be careful, woman; don't drive me too far. Beware lest you rouse the lion in me." "Where?" asked Belvane, with a child-like air. With a gesture full of dignity and good breeding Udo called attention to his tail. "That," said the Countess, "is not the part of the lion that I'm afraid of." For the moment Udo was nonplussed, but he soon recovered himself. 'Even supposing—just for the sake of argument—that I am a rabbit, I still have something up my sleeve; I'll come and eat your young carnations.'
This was more serious. Her dear garden in which she composed, ruined by the mastications—machinations—what was the word?—of an enemy! The thought was unbearable."
Oh my goodness. I thoroughly fell into the former category! The story is silly and whimsical, and while I probably wouldn't have liked it based off the plot alone, it's Milne's sparkling wit ad wordplay that made me love it. Milne's delightful tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from the Poohbear books is on full display, but with added spice of satire and a hint of sarcasm. I underlined so many quotes that made me laugh out loud--something very few books can do (hat tip to James Herriott who tops that list).
Probably the best way I can review this book is simply to quote some of the lines I loved, so that is what I will do (even though I'm sure they are funnier in context). If you love Poohbear, by all means read this hilariously clever little fairy tale.
"In any trouble Belvane comforted herself by reading up her diary. She undid the enormous volume, and, idly turning the pages, read some of the more delightful extracts to herself. "Monday, June 1st," she read. "Became bad." She gave a sigh of resignation to the necessity of being bad. Roger Scurvilegs is of the opinion that she might have sighed a good many years before. According to him she was born bad. "Tuesday, June 2nd," she read on. "Realized in the privacy of my heart that I was destined to rule the country. Wednesday, June 3rd. Decided to oust the Princess. Thursday, June 4th. Began ousting."
"Wiggs looked puzzled. She had been dusting the books in the library; and when you dust books you simply must stop every now and then to take just one little peep inside, and then you look inside another one and another one, and by the time you have finished dusting, your head is so full of things you have seen that you have to be asked questions very slowly indeed."
"Woggs I find nearly as difficult to explain as Wiggs; it is a terrible thing for an author to have a lot of people running about his book, without any invitation from him at all."
"Be careful, woman; don't drive me too far. Beware lest you rouse the lion in me." "Where?" asked Belvane, with a child-like air. With a gesture full of dignity and good breeding Udo called attention to his tail. "That," said the Countess, "is not the part of the lion that I'm afraid of." For the moment Udo was nonplussed, but he soon recovered himself. 'Even supposing—just for the sake of argument—that I am a rabbit, I still have something up my sleeve; I'll come and eat your young carnations.'
This was more serious. Her dear garden in which she composed, ruined by the mastications—machinations—what was the word?—of an enemy! The thought was unbearable."
March 8, 2017
This was just odd. A break from typical novels but the style, subject matter and characters were distractingly unusual. I found myself eager for it to end!
June 1, 2020
Once upon a time during the dread days of WWI, before a boy named Christopher Robin stood on bridge with his teddy bear called Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne wrote an ironic fairytale for grownups of all ages.
Seven league boots, invisible cloaks and a magic ring may well all be part and parcel of children's fairytales, but they probably hadn't been used with quite so much silliness before. It takes an adult sense of humour to appreciate this level of childishness.
Two kings go to war and the scheming, splendid Countess Belvane makes hay in the absence of King Merriwig of Euralia, who had placed her in charge during his absence because he had a soft spot for her. She keeps a diary of her progress:
"Tuesday, June 2nd," she read on. "Realised in the privacy of my heart that I was destined to rule the country. Wednesday, June Srd. Decided to oust the Princess. Thursday, June Uh. Began ousting."
That's my kind of woman. I don't blame the besotted Merriwig for having a blind spot to her less honourable qualities. Roger Scurvilegs, historian of the seventeen volumes of Euralian history, is less enamored with her, but Milne rightly admonishes him for his moralising tone.
Princess Hyacinth is left to hold the fort while her father is away. The countess runs rings around her. What she needs is a prince charming to save the day. Enter Prince Udo. Unfortunately he doesn't prove to be exactly as advertised:
'Hyacinth looked at him uneasily. Her first feeling was one of sympathy. "Poor fellow," she thought," he's had a hard time lately." But it is a strain on the sympathy to gaze too long on a mixture of lion, rabbit, and woolly lamb, particularly when the rabbit part has its mouth open and is snoring gently.'
The lion and the lamb parts of him were perfectly acceptable, it was the rabbit third which put her off. She simply doesn't like rabbits. Why? Well, "They're all loppity." They are too!
Somehow they all live happily ever after.
Seven league boots, invisible cloaks and a magic ring may well all be part and parcel of children's fairytales, but they probably hadn't been used with quite so much silliness before. It takes an adult sense of humour to appreciate this level of childishness.
Two kings go to war and the scheming, splendid Countess Belvane makes hay in the absence of King Merriwig of Euralia, who had placed her in charge during his absence because he had a soft spot for her. She keeps a diary of her progress:
"Tuesday, June 2nd," she read on. "Realised in the privacy of my heart that I was destined to rule the country. Wednesday, June Srd. Decided to oust the Princess. Thursday, June Uh. Began ousting."
That's my kind of woman. I don't blame the besotted Merriwig for having a blind spot to her less honourable qualities. Roger Scurvilegs, historian of the seventeen volumes of Euralian history, is less enamored with her, but Milne rightly admonishes him for his moralising tone.
Princess Hyacinth is left to hold the fort while her father is away. The countess runs rings around her. What she needs is a prince charming to save the day. Enter Prince Udo. Unfortunately he doesn't prove to be exactly as advertised:
'Hyacinth looked at him uneasily. Her first feeling was one of sympathy. "Poor fellow," she thought," he's had a hard time lately." But it is a strain on the sympathy to gaze too long on a mixture of lion, rabbit, and woolly lamb, particularly when the rabbit part has its mouth open and is snoring gently.'
The lion and the lamb parts of him were perfectly acceptable, it was the rabbit third which put her off. She simply doesn't like rabbits. Why? Well, "They're all loppity." They are too!
Somehow they all live happily ever after.
October 7, 2015
I haven't done many reviews on Goodreads yet, but this is my first 5 star. Surely the first femme fatale in children's literature. Surely the earliest discussion of historical sources in children's literature - the author solemnly introduces his three sources, explains where they disagree, and how he decides between them. The story of the king turned into a sheep! ("Which is more powerful, a king or a fairy?" "A king... besides being more woolly.") The two kings who wear invisible cloaks to go spying, bump into each other, and pretend to be swineherds. ("There was nothing for it but for them to discuss swine.") My only gripe is that the hero (and yes, I do know who the hero is) is not in my view quite as nice as the author thinks he is, and the scene where he watches a little girl dance is odd by modern standards. Otherwise it's wonderful, and so are the gorgeous pictures by Susan Perl.
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