A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average

by Amy Elliott-Smith

Life is a bitch. Depression is a bitch. Spending your life with depression, working with bitches is the worst of the worst.

A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average is a laugh-out-loud, dark comedy, which delves into the depths of a thirty-something dog groomer’s mind as she struggles to cope with life, depression and dogs who wee up her sofa.

Ultimately, the question she must ask is...

Can I carry on?

146 pages, Paperback

First published January 4, 2013

Reviews

[Petra · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I wrote my suicide note today. It was shit." Thus begins the thirty-something protagonist's guide to becoming distinctly average. Through brief anecdotes ranging from childhood experiences in the North of England to boyfriend dilemmas and life as a dog groomer, the author provides a very honest insight into the mind of a woman coping with anxiety and depression. At times uncomfortable, at times immensely funny, I really appreciated the writer's candor. It feels wrong to say I enjoyed a book about somebody's struggle with life. But I enjoyed this debut author's writing style, which flowed nicely and was truly engaging. I wanted to find out more about her experience of life at a posh girls' boarding school and was really intrigued to find out whether she felt her therapy had been worthwhile once she had faced up to the erotic transference between her and her therapist.
A little more depth and coherence would have been nice. Very readable though, it won Amy Elliott-Smith the 2013 Beryl Bainbridge Award for First Time Author. 3.5 stars.
I received a copy from Crooked Cat Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

[January Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Depression is something that is still not handled correctly nor viewed in the right way, not even in today's society.

This Author takes an awesome Fictional approach to it, and it is both disturbing and yes, hilarious. Not that depression is a joke, but her humorous approach to the topic is still spot on.

I highly recommend reading this book. This is one book that will stick with me for quite awhile

I received my requested copy from NetGalley and read and reviewed at my choosing.

[J.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not just a highly amusing read, but hidden beneath the irony is a real, suffering, average person with an incredible talent for getting at the very nub of a problem.
I relate to your aversion to social networking. And your account of facing a camera touches me to the quick: feelings so true of many of us, even though we dont often admit it when we hope to produce carefree smiles, while our grins more resemble gurns and grimaces.
This is a substantial read. Even though it is deeply funny in places, it is also dead serious, and will touch a chord in each one of us, such is the depth of Elliot-Smith's perception.
Any author who can hold a reader's rapt attention with a minute description of blending together an assortment of health-giving raw fruit and vegetables, and sampling same, is a pure genius. Especially when relating the consequences.
And then suddenly we are treated with a seven point guide on how to cope with a person suffering a panic attack. And the very real desperate emotions of someone suffering depression.
I'm glad you're still alive, Amy Elliot-Smith, and long may you enjoy the fruits of your brilliant success. But take care not to expect too much of yourself...

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this very honest, engaging and funny book. It has made me be more understanding of depression, and more grateful than ever that I don't have the affliction myself.

Hats off to the writer for writing such a beautiful and laugh out loud book. I shall be watching what she comes up with next...

[Sarah Faichney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I identified with the novel so strongly that I have a feeling the author and I are long lost twins! It's a deceptively easy read which bravely addresses issues of mental ill health but it is also utterly hilarious in places. The author has a really friendly, engaging tone and her account of smoothie making had me howling with laughter. A great read. Highly recommend.

[January Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Depression is something that is still not handled correctly nor viewed in the right way, not even in today's society.

This Author takes an awesome Fictional approach to it, and it is both disturbing and yes, hilarious. Not that depression is a joke, but her humorous approach to the topic is still spot on.

I highly recommend reading this book. This is one book that will stick with me for quite awhile

I received my requested copy from NetGalley and read and reviewed at my choosing.

[Lisa Bentley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Upon writing this review I was faced with a dilemma. How do you write a review about a book without affecting the writer? Especially when the writer suffers from depression? The only way I can do this is by telling myself that the author isn’t going to read the review and if she does then I apologise in advance.

I really didn’t enjoy A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average by Amy Elliot Smith. I really wanted to but I personally felt that it was very disjointed and because of this I couldn’t find myself feeling any form of empathy. Certain stories tried to hard to be funny by being extremely self deprecating. I just really didn’t fall in love with A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average.

A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average by Amy Elliot-Smith is available now.

For more information regarding Amy Elliot-Smith please visit her on Twitter (@ItsAmyES)

For more information regarding Crooked Cat Publishing Ltd (@crookedcatbooks) please visit www.crookedcatpublishing.com.

[Laura Besley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The epigraph of A Guide to Becoming Distinctly Average is a quote from Churchill, which sets the timbre for the whole book: informed, intelligent and thought-provoking. And it's also really funny.

I've read countless books, but rarely have I seen such a strong opening paragraph: "I wrote my suicide note today. It was shit." I was hooked from the word go. Elliott-Smith's debut novel continues in the same punchy, witty and honest way.

Although the subject matter of this book is a woman struggling to cope with depression, it's dealt with in such a funny manner that you almost forget what a soul destroying illness it can be. Still viewed by many as a taboo subject, Amy Elliott-Smith tackles it with a sledge hammer: she's going to beat the hell out of it if it's the last thing she does.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent piece of writing, the language flowing around a deeply disturbing subject. Parts of it are humorous and others are downright cheerless. I'm truly not sure what to say about the two years of therapy sessions - were they just time and money wasted? The journey through life seems like it really needs to be ridden on the open top deck of a bus, and not the back seat of the downstairs area. Witty, cringingly sad and ...in a very poignant way ...it has what seems like a pointless ending. Though, of course, it's not!

[Sarah Louise Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this novel, it's funny and poignant, uplifting and realistic. The chapters are like a series of amusing anecdotes about encounters with dogs and humans and all the while there's an undercurrent of sadness as the protagonist deals with depression and contemplates suicide.
Lots of laugh out loud moments and in the end, it was really rather inspiring.
If you enjoy comedy, or have ever suffered from depression, you'll love this book.

[Michela O'Brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

A laugh-out-loud funny and yet poignant, beautifully written book, at times an uncomfortable, but always honest, uncompromising journey in the mind of a depressive. A talented new author to watch!

[Carol Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brutally honest book and so enjoyable. The author talks about her depression then uses humour to turn the tables and give the reader so many laugh-out-loud moments. Very easy to read.

[Cheryl Bellingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book which truly embraces the turmoil you feel whilst suffering from depression. Very accurately reflects the mind of a depressive

[Bibi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Several stories told from someone battling depression. An enjoyable read that gave a close up look at mental illness while still making me laugh out loud.