How to Find a Four-Leaf Clover: What Autism Can Teach Us About Difference, Connection, and Belonging

by Jodi Rodgers

Beloved Love on the Spectrum star and disability rights advocate Jodi Rodgers shares stories from her expansive career working within the autistic community and calls for a more inclusive and accepting society.

In How to Find a Four-Leaf Clover , Jodi Rodgers gives us inspiring, heartwarming stories from her years of experience as a teacher and counselor supporting autistic people. While acknowledging our differences, these stories invite us to expand our empathy and compassion for the neurodivergent people in our lives. Throughout, Rodgers explores the powerful impact of embracing neurodiversity and forming meaningful connections with those around us. Each chapter highlights a different story and an aspect of human behavior,

With dozens of moving stories, How to Find a Four-Leaf Clover will give readers a deeper understanding of and appreciation for the neurodiverse community around them. Above all, it will inspire a profound sense of belonging, revealing that we’re much more similar than we think.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Self Help, Science

288 pages, Hardcover

Published February 20, 2024

Reviews

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick audio thoughts:

Jodi Rodgers is a disability rights advocate, teacher, and counselor, sharing her knowledge about autism through personal experiences. Her role as an advocate shines through in how she relays her appreciation for the neurodiverse community to which she’s committed her life’s work.

As someone who works in a similar role and knowledgeable about autism, I think this book is especially helpful for those newer to learning. Her case studies shared through her vast work experiences are endearing and clearly show her passion for this community.

I was gifted the book and purchased the audio through Libro.fm.

Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

[Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adore this book and would recommend it to anyone! It’s so easy to read and the stories truly stuck with me and I’ll be telling them for a very long time :)

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I kind of wished this was more of an #ownvoices autism book, it does have some moving anecdotes of the author's time as a caregiver and her interactions with a diverse group of neurodivergent individuals over the course of her career. She does a good job illustrating how each autistic person's experience is different and they deserve greater empathy, understanding and acceptance than has traditionally been granted. Good on audio read by the author.

[Courtney B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

How To Find Four Leaf Clovers is a Nonfiction book focusing on Autism Spectrum Disorder. This book is a positive and informative book that as a parent of an autistic child, I found it helpful and very heart warming. I loved the wide array of different topics: communication, anxiety, death, social skills, empathy are some of the topics discussed how and why Neurodivergent individuals respond differently. The way it is written is easy to follow and gives a number of great examples. There was happiness, struggles, learning, support and inclusion all in this book. I loved the focus of this book on empathy and the Acceptance. This read is great for individuals who are looking for enlightenment about Autism, with real experiences, medical terms, and growth. I enjoyed this book, and I highly recommend it.
I received an advanced ebook, via Netgalley. This review is my own honest opinion.

[Tess Stephenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I've read this year. It was so heartwarming. I loved how each chapter was like a short story with neurotypical and neurodivergent tidbidts sprinkled in. Jodi is a great storyteller, and her ability to show us our connections to each other, whether neurotypical or neurodivergent, is spot-on. I have read a lot of autism books, and this is one of the best. It's a nice change of pace from a straightforward advice book to more narrative style.

[Angela Bowles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a great read.

Simple and engaging. Jodi Rodgers is an excellent story teller and a woman of much patience. I have a son with autism and I could see traits that he, my husband, and myself all possess.

I would recommend this book to everyone. Anyone who is wanting to gain more understanding of the nature of individuals on the spectrum. It’s simple and keeps everything on a need-to-know basis. No unnecessary fluff, medical study references, or obscure medical jargon.

5 stars!

[Samara Matson wartes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read, incredibly well organized

[Shannon Heaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful, fun and well-researched read!

[Chanda Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was really insightful and enlightening, while also being enjoyable, easy to digest, and interesting to read. This book promotes inclusivity by painting a broad picture of autism by featuring a different person with ASD in every chapter through a unique experience, character trait, lesson learned, etc. I found it relatable, tear-jerking, and even funny at times, while being so heartfelt and authentic in its entirety.

If you’re someone wanting to better understand the neurodiverse community, I highly recommend this book because I think it’s one of the best to demonstrate just how unique every person’s experience is. It’s moving and inspiring in so many ways, and I definitely think it’s one that will draw readers in.

I do want to note that this is not necessarily an “own voices” book, but the author does consider herself an advocate for neurodiversity, and she has extensive experience with people with ASD. I do think she does a good job in the book of illustrating the focus on the individuals in a positive and honest light, and I personally felt her perspective was educating and focused throughout. If you want an engaging, informative read on a neurodiverse topic, I can’t recommend this one enough!

Book 58
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[Jennifer Wurges byrnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Jodi Rodgers, the relationship counselor on the Netflix show Love on the Spectrum, was young she liked to search for four-leaf clovers with her grandfather.

He told her "just because you see only threes in a clover patch, don't think that everything must be the same. If you think there are only threes, you'll miss seeing the fours and the fives and even the sixes - if you're lucky. That's where the magic is." As she got down on her hands and knees for a closer look all she could see were the three-leafed clovers. Her grandfather gave her some more advice. "Don't look so hard, love. If you train your eyes to see the beauty in difference, it's everywhere. It's right under your nose. If you look at the world with a closed mind, all you'll see are limitations."

She could never have thought that later in life she would write a book about the beauty in difference. That is something that is made very clear in this book - that underneath all the stigma and stereotypes of neurodivergent, autistic, or other disabled people, they are humans trying to make their way in this life.

"Some people may not express their emotions in a clear way; some may not like to be hugged or look people in the eye. Some may speak a different language, echo words, ask the same question again and again, or use different gestures. Some people may reach out by sending more than three texts, or they may hide behind doors or pace or spin or flap their hands. Some will info-dump about locks and keys, lick others on the arm, smash an egg, or open a fridge door just to say 'Be with me'.

Humankind - there is a reason why kind has been added to the word human. We need to rise to this challenge. All of us want to connect. We all want to belong. We try to do so in any way we can. Sometimes our attempts are clumsy or odd, and occasionally they're painful, but we try nonetheless. We need to open our minds and hearts to the multitude of ways we relate to one another. It is in recognition and celebration of our unique differences that connection and belonging are built."

Jodi's book tells the stories of 28 of her autistic clients - of their struggles to be understood or to find love or how to communicate effectively or to navigate this world that is often foreign to them. Her hope for her readers is that we can discover one new thing that shifts our way of perceiving people in order to create better connections with those around us, whether they are neurodivergent or not. Mission accomplished Jodi.

[Ryo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book for free in a Goodreads giveaway.

This is a collection of stories about individuals, each exploring some specific aspect of autism. It covers how autism affects people's perceptions of the world, the way they share their feelings and views with others, and the way they connect and empathize with others. And through it all, the author illustrates how neurotypical people often have a lot more in common with people with autism than you'd think, and it often is just people with autism feeling or experiencing something to a different degree than the average neurotypical person does. She also emphasizes that people with autism often have to struggle with adapting to a neurotypical world, rather than the world making more accommodations for people on the spectrum. The anecdotes were easy to read and digest, and the author effectively conveys these messages throughout them all. My main complaint about this book, though, is how repetitive it felt. Yes, the anecdotes are all different, and they touch on different aspects of living with autism, but the chapters all have a pattern of starting with half of a story that's related to the title of that particular chapter, then going into more detail about the general concept being talked about, as well as going into other people's stories aside from the one named in the chapter title, and then back to the second half of the story started at the beginning of the chapter. I would have appreciated more variety in how these were told, rather than sticking to this pattern that was getting quite stale near the end. They also felt quite short, like we were only getting a tiny glimpse into these interesting people's lives, rather than staying with them for longer. But overall I found this to be an interesting look at people with autism, and how they're not actually all that different from us. It made me feel that I should approach other people's behavior with more empathy, whether they're on the spectrum or not.

[Jackie Sunday · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book as it relates to each one of us. It's about social situations which makes it awkward and difficult for those with autism. It’s well written, engaging and full of fascinating stories.

Jodi Rogers has been a counselor, sexologist and special education teacher for thirty years. She starts and ends each chapter with a client that had some type of difficulty which includes topics like how to cope with change, judgments, anger, the fear of failure and overcoming grief. Rogers gives us examples of her personal experiences -- some which may be familiar to readers. She shows us the tactics she has used to help autistic people which seem quite extraordinary in her work as a counselor.

This book makes me understand more about neurodivergent people and how their brain processes information differently. The author doesn’t address the details of the brain structure with autism but she emphasizes the importance of connecting and belonging. The book shows us the complexities of feeling like a misfit. It’s absorbing for those especially interested in human behavior and how people communicate in today’s world. It’s one book that I’ll be talking about with everyone I know.

My thanks to Little, Brown Spark and NetGalley for allowing me to read a copy of this advanced book with an expected release date of February 20, 2024.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Through stories, explanations of how our brains and bodies work, and insight into the ways humans relate—Jodi Rodgers not only reveals what she has learned over the course of more than 30 years working with autistic people and neurodiverse people, but also shows us what we can learn about ourselves. I found myself thinking about how to be a better communicator, a kinder friend, a more supportive partner and parent—in short how to be the best human I can be. HOW TO FIND A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER is also a love letter to anyone who is different. Jodi shows us how beautiful, creative, and delightful the girls and boys, men and women, she has worked with over the past 30+ years are and in so doing shows us how to appreciate the varied ways that autistic people strive to connect and communicate. For anyone who loves, lives with, works with or has an autistic or neurodiverse person in their lives, this book offers invaluable lessons and insights. It is also a beautiful and persuasive reminder that we are all more alike than we think—these stories give us a deeper understanding and appreciation of the neurodiverse community around us. A beautiful, warm, and wise book.

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

After a number of friends, coworkers, and people I follow online have shared their autism diagnosis over the past couple years, I’ve done some reading to try to be more understanding and create more accessible, welcoming environments.

This book was written by a neurotypical writer, and though I think there is immense value in prioritizing the viewpoints of those with autism, I personally found this read to be immensely helpful in deepening my understanding. The case studies were shared with compassion and curiosity, and the author’s deep love and respect for her autistic clients is clear throughout. I listened to the audiobook in one sitting and I would recommend this book to anyone who is neurotypical and looking to learn more or become a better friend to individuals on the spectrum.

[Antonia ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and the way that it was organized. I like that the author, Jodi told each story in a simple and easy to read way. She drew on her decades of experience working in special education and counseling. She is a great storyteller because she’s able to easily capture the reader’s attention.

One thing that I really enjoyed about the book is that each chapter has its own theme. For example, she discusses topics such as society anxiety, trust, and patience. These are topics that we could all relate to in one way or another. I love how she placed so much emphasis on what we could learn from others who see things differently than we do.

[Shayna Rianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really good read! I got first interested in it seeing Jodi as the relationship specialist on “Love in the Spectrum”. Her kind,empathetic and out of the box thinking made me really want to see more of her! She has such wonderful ideas of working with all different neurodiverse people! For anyone who works in the social services field who are interested in learning new ways to work with people on the spectrum this is a good read for just that. As someone who works with all kinds of people I will even use this with working with my clients! Thank you Jodi for being a gifted Counsellor/therapist

[Cherie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book on empathy and compassion. The author, Jodi Rodgers, tells how she starts a presentation by saying much of what she is about to say, the audience may already know. But she hopes there is at least one thing new each member of the audience can take with them. Here she provides the reader with several ways for one to better understand and connect with the neurodivergent. Really though it could be empathy and compassion for all. People can be quick to judge behaviors that seem inexplicable. What Rodgers does is give us a window into other's worlds that could change our judgment and open us to compassion and better relationships.

[Jessica Heflin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jodi's admiration for autistic people and her life devotion to serving and advocating for them is absolutely prevalent in this book. That being said, as a mother of an autistic child I didn't find this a helpful book for me personally, and felt that the anecdotes and her thoughts behind them were redundant by the halfway point of this book. I do appreciate the place this book has in the world though. I would recommend it to someone new to or trying to educate themselves about this community. Overall, I think this could be an enlightening book to the right reader.

[Tessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely book! Im a school counsellor and my supervisor recommend this book to and I’m really glad she did. The positivity the author has about all of her clients is infectious. You can tell that she goes above and beyond for the people she supports. My favourite anecdote was the one about the man who wouldn’t eat breakfast until they had found the perfect bowl.

A great reminder to see the world from the other persons perspective and you might just realise that their feelings make a lot of sense!

[Kayleigh Helgesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Single Person should pick this one up regardless of where you are on the neurospicy scale.

If we each took the time to read through these wonderful stories and learn that we really aren’t all that different, the world would be such a better place.

I don’t think I will ever stop rereading this and learning from it. Not only did it teach me so much about connecting to others and understanding what those with ASD may be going through, but I recognized so much of myself in it as well, despite being a “neurotypical” person.

[Thelma Fountain · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book in a goodreads giveaway. This is a book with a lot of information and also helpful to teach us to look at each other from a different perspective. The introduction shares a story about the authors Grandfather it was a sweet story but the author said it taught her to keep an open mind and remember that life is full of possibilities. I do think that our generation does need a reminder that different does not mean bad different just means different and that's okay. I do think this book is an important read.

[Elaine Gillespie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read, here in Australia the title is Unique if you are looking for it.

This is so well written it teaches us that we are all different and unique and this should be celebrated. We should not be trying to make people fit someone, anyone’s idea of normal.

Everyone no matter their background, ability, or quirkiness everyone is amazing and we can all learn from listening to each other.

Loved this book and hope Jody will write more.

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

After working with many people with Autism, this book is just right. It is great for anyone to read the insights of connecting with others, of all abilities, from counselor Jodi Rodgers. I want to be her friend! I loved all the shows of Love on the Spectrum and how it showed that most people want to find their person and experience love and how challenging that can be. Just a lovely book filled with great stories.

[Ellen Riggenbach]

I’m not sure how to rate this book. I’m glad I read it. A mother of a student gave it to me to better understand autistic people. The author shows that like everyone, autistic people also seek connection and belonging. It made me think about my students and growing number of autistic kids that I teach. In general it was a reminder that I want to find ways for all of my students to feel connection and a sense of belonging.

[Delaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who works with Autistic kids in my own life, I loved this story and the insight Jodi gave into all her experiences. You can see that there is no stereotype or box to put people on the spectrum in, there is so much beauty to find in all people!

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the e-arc!

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best autism book I’ve read since reading Barry Prizant’s “Uniquely Human”. So fitting that I finished this today on World Autism Day. A wonderful tool to promote understanding of neurodiversity. Highly recommended!

[Jemma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely wonderful testament to the beauty of diversity in autistic people. As the mom to an autistic son, I found myself totally wrapped up in her stories. It was written with such gentleness and humor and appreciation of even the hard parts of neurodivergence.

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think the author doesn’t realize she’s neurodivergent as well 😂

[Maggie Mattmiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I’ve read this year thus far. It celebrates differences, and also reminds us that we are more alike than we are different. Loved it.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5