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A Practical Guide to Racism
A hilarious look at the races of the world—capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume
Meet “C. H. Dalton,” a professor of racialist studies and a leading authority on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. In the grand tradition of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Birth of a Nation, he is on a mission to clarify the truth about self-supremacy, drawing on eminent scholarship to enlighten a new generation of hate-mongers. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated (even white people), A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as:
• The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man’s burdens, such as reverse racism and white slavery, to become accomplished athletes, rhymesmiths, and dominoes champions.
• The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their unfortunate taste for the blood of Christian babies.
• A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as “women,” who are not good at anything— especially ruling the free world.
• A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time.
• A country-by-country breakdown of the “Yellow Peril,” with pointers for telling apart a race of people who all look the same.
Also included is a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews. A Practical Guide to Racism is sure to spark honest, instructive discourse.
Meet “C. H. Dalton,” a professor of racialist studies and a leading authority on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. In the grand tradition of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Birth of a Nation, he is on a mission to clarify the truth about self-supremacy, drawing on eminent scholarship to enlighten a new generation of hate-mongers. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated (even white people), A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as:
• The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man’s burdens, such as reverse racism and white slavery, to become accomplished athletes, rhymesmiths, and dominoes champions.
• The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their unfortunate taste for the blood of Christian babies.
• A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as “women,” who are not good at anything— especially ruling the free world.
• A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time.
• A country-by-country breakdown of the “Yellow Peril,” with pointers for telling apart a race of people who all look the same.
Also included is a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews. A Practical Guide to Racism is sure to spark honest, instructive discourse.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
78 people are currently reading
2113 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 154 reviews
May 22, 2018
This book felt like a pompous racist tried to hide his racism under a plethora of jokes about racism and stereotypes.
April 30, 2018
This is the last of the party time, coffee table, humor books that I bought and I give it five stars because it fulfilled the purpose I intended; it made people laugh.
Oh, but I must be sure to emphasize that I was completely offended, angered, and embarrassed by this book... ah, ahem, no, not really. Sorry, I can't adhere to the response that would be expected by the politically correct who are falling down, throwing a temper tantrum and bawling because I have dared to give this race mocking book a five star rating. No, because first: I haven't forgotten what humor is, second: I'm not a pussy, (and if I were a pussy, whenever I was told to go fuck myself, I would be more than happy to oblige) and third: I actually learned something; this whole time, I thought Ted Danson was white, but thanks to this educational literature, I discovered that he not only black, but that he is almost as ugly as that Jewish guy, Whoopi Goldberg. Who knew?
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April 10, 2012The best way to describe this book to one who has no prior knowledge would be to relate it to something else. C.H. Dalton’s A Practical Guide to Racism could be categorized as Borat-esque. With that said, it took a very real point of view and blew it up. By the end it almost seemed like it was stretching a bit further than needed to be.
But the book does a great job of pointing out the absurdity of racial stereotypes by being so blatantly offensive and aloof. I read that the author of the book is also a writer for The Onion, which as we know from class experiences, is a grand slam in the hilarious in a kind of mean sort of way.
Although I wasn’t too familiar with the criticism about this particular book, I remember Borat being initially criticized because some people felt that other people wouldn't "get it” Even though Sacha Baron Cohen is quite frankly, jewish, people were afraid the preposterous anti-Semitism wouldn't be seen as preposterous at all, but rather taken at face value.
I think you'd have a difficult time assuming the same for this book, just because the humor comes much from the existing radical stereotypical views that lead to the racist text. In other words, it's just too exaggerated for anyone with half a brain to think it was serious (he has a section devoted to Merpeople, for Christ's sake). Although recommending a book like this can sometimes come back to blowup in your face, the book really is quite funny. It is worth the short amount of time it would take you to read through it. This was more like a book that shouldn't be read diligently all the way through but can be just as enjoyable leaving it on the sofa and picking it up from time to time.
But the book does a great job of pointing out the absurdity of racial stereotypes by being so blatantly offensive and aloof. I read that the author of the book is also a writer for The Onion, which as we know from class experiences, is a grand slam in the hilarious in a kind of mean sort of way.
Although I wasn’t too familiar with the criticism about this particular book, I remember Borat being initially criticized because some people felt that other people wouldn't "get it” Even though Sacha Baron Cohen is quite frankly, jewish, people were afraid the preposterous anti-Semitism wouldn't be seen as preposterous at all, but rather taken at face value.
I think you'd have a difficult time assuming the same for this book, just because the humor comes much from the existing radical stereotypical views that lead to the racist text. In other words, it's just too exaggerated for anyone with half a brain to think it was serious (he has a section devoted to Merpeople, for Christ's sake). Although recommending a book like this can sometimes come back to blowup in your face, the book really is quite funny. It is worth the short amount of time it would take you to read through it. This was more like a book that shouldn't be read diligently all the way through but can be just as enjoyable leaving it on the sofa and picking it up from time to time.
July 24, 2008
perhaps one of the greatest books ever written. if you find it offensive, you probably hate yourself.
November 14, 2013
Book Info: Genre: Satire/Humor
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: people who enjoy satire and won't be offended by the language
Trigger Warnings: Very non-PC language
My Thoughts: Oh, myyyy. This book is so wrong, yet I laughed like a loon at a lot of it.
I'm going to state right away that if you are sensitive to non-PC language, this book will probably upset you. But keep in mind that this is satire, and designed to showcase the negativity of racism by exploiting the ideas for a laugh. And laugh I did. This puts across the ideas behind racism in a way that makes it relatable and humorous. An excellently fun book.
Disclosure: This book was a birthday gift from a friend. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: A look at the races of the world by a lovable bigot, capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume.
Meet C. H. Dalton, a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated, A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as:
* The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions
* The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies
* A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as “women,” who are not very good at anything, especially ruling the free world
* A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally.
Including a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews, A Practical Guide to Racism is an essential field guide for our multicultural world.
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: people who enjoy satire and won't be offended by the language
Trigger Warnings: Very non-PC language
My Thoughts: Oh, myyyy. This book is so wrong, yet I laughed like a loon at a lot of it.
I'm going to state right away that if you are sensitive to non-PC language, this book will probably upset you. But keep in mind that this is satire, and designed to showcase the negativity of racism by exploiting the ideas for a laugh. And laugh I did. This puts across the ideas behind racism in a way that makes it relatable and humorous. An excellently fun book.
Disclosure: This book was a birthday gift from a friend. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: A look at the races of the world by a lovable bigot, capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume.
Meet C. H. Dalton, a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated, A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as:
* The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions
* The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies
* A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as “women,” who are not very good at anything, especially ruling the free world
* A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally.
Including a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews, A Practical Guide to Racism is an essential field guide for our multicultural world.
May 22, 2018
I'm sick and don't have time for a full review, so let's do a quick recap:
1) The author uses the n-word. Like, A LOT.
2) He says the book is satire, but it goes too far. Like, WAY TOO FAR.
3) Indians are "hard-working and helpful, and make excellent manservants and adventure sidekicks." (Pretty much everything else is too racist for me to repeat, even as an example. Like, WAY TOO RACIST.)
1) The author uses the n-word. Like, A LOT.
2) He says the book is satire, but it goes too far. Like, WAY TOO FAR.
3) Indians are "hard-working and helpful, and make excellent manservants and adventure sidekicks." (Pretty much everything else is too racist for me to repeat, even as an example. Like, WAY TOO RACIST.)
July 21, 2016
Would have given this no stars had it been possible. Utterly feeble satire.
July 2, 2008
So far, I've most enjoyed reading about Jews.
It's a book best used for its intended purpose; reference.
If you happen to need clarification on a particular group-- it's particularly useful. I especially like the notes in the back.
It's a book best used for its intended purpose; reference.
If you happen to need clarification on a particular group-- it's particularly useful. I especially like the notes in the back.
September 20, 2009
as John Stewart said, "Read this with someone you hate!"
December 14, 2015
I learned far too many new words.
January 8, 2024
kohati boomer humor ja/või cringe, aga kohati hea satiir
nt Ameerika põliselanike küündimatusest: "Nad küttisid sajandeid pühvleid, aga ei suutnud neid kõiki tappa. Euroopa asunikel kulus vaid viiskümmend aastat, et sellega toime tulla."
nt Ameerika põliselanike küündimatusest: "Nad küttisid sajandeid pühvleid, aga ei suutnud neid kõiki tappa. Euroopa asunikel kulus vaid viiskümmend aastat, et sellega toime tulla."
March 21, 2011
Good satire. Found it on deep sale at Barnes & Noble and snapped up three copies when I found myself laughing out loud from just a quick perusal. More thorough reading didn't disappoint--though from chapter to chapter there is a consistent quality of 'one-liner' laughs, and the strengths/humor of various chapters is uneven. There are some (pop) cultural allusions that are over my head & I can tell those passages that fall flat are due to my ignorance about the person/situation mentioned. But the other 90% that I do 'get' is pretty strong stuff. Am keeping one copy and giving two to friends who appreciate this sort of sauciness.
August 19, 2011
Such a great book. Infact, of all the bargain books I have this this by far the best. This would be my staff-pick if I really wanted to welcome a mob of angry morons (i.e. mobs)
My all-time favourite part of this book? The Asian section referencing H.P. Lovecraft's "Cthulhu and the Ching-Chong Chinabots" and the mentioning of Robert Longo beating out Adolph Hitler as the worst artist (because of Johnny Mnemonic). hope i didn't spoil that for you.
My all-time favourite part of this book? The Asian section referencing H.P. Lovecraft's "Cthulhu and the Ching-Chong Chinabots" and the mentioning of Robert Longo beating out Adolph Hitler as the worst artist (because of Johnny Mnemonic). hope i didn't spoil that for you.
January 28, 2015
This book is perfect for people who enjoy satire and won't be offended by the language. I just couldn't stop laughing while reading it! :)
July 11, 2021
Intended to be edgy humour on its date of publication. Now as funny as a miscarriage.
August 30, 2011
Appallingly clever in its ability to teeter along a tightrope of total bigotry and make it sound for a paragraph or two horrifyingly plausible. By that I mean I could hear the voices of racists everywhere echoing in the background of some of the comments but those racists do not necessarily need to be burning crosses or smashing windows. Most of it was so superbly outrageous that no-one could seriously entertain the truth of it but I found some of the comments chillingly similar to ones you overhear in lots of partially heard conversations. It also is good at pulling you up short ....oh good grief was I subconsciously nodding then....it reminded me if I needed reminding that racism and stupid bigotry is something we all need to be continually on guard against.
I do think it was perhaps overlong and a good deal of it was repetitious and padding but funny and its sacrasm deals, if not a fatal blow, then a nastily painful kick to the groin of racism.
I do think it was perhaps overlong and a good deal of it was repetitious and padding but funny and its sacrasm deals, if not a fatal blow, then a nastily painful kick to the groin of racism.
August 15, 2018
Thank you C.H. Dalton for penning the definitive treatise on race. With the help of this book I have become a much better racist and I will definitely be recommending this to all my friends.
P.S. To any future employer reading this, I am joking. This book was a joke. I do not condone racism unless it's done anonymously on twitt-Waait a minute, how in the world did you find my goodreads account?
P.P.S This is an outrageously funny book and I cannot understand any of the 1star reviews on here. It's quite clear that the book is a joke and it's not meant to be taken seriously. Although the section on Indians is well researched and true. India and Pakistan are unable to peacefully coexist because of a dispute over who owns the rights to 'Kashmir', a song from Led Zeppelin's album 'Physical Graffiti'. I blame Nehru for waiting and wanting the UN to intervene when he could have just called Jimmy Page and sorted it all out
P.S. To any future employer reading this, I am joking. This book was a joke. I do not condone racism unless it's done anonymously on twitt-Waait a minute, how in the world did you find my goodreads account?
P.P.S This is an outrageously funny book and I cannot understand any of the 1star reviews on here. It's quite clear that the book is a joke and it's not meant to be taken seriously. Although the section on Indians is well researched and true. India and Pakistan are unable to peacefully coexist because of a dispute over who owns the rights to 'Kashmir', a song from Led Zeppelin's album 'Physical Graffiti'. I blame Nehru for waiting and wanting the UN to intervene when he could have just called Jimmy Page and sorted it all out
February 8, 2023
I had really mixed feelings when I started this book, such as "is this really a good thing to read in today's world?" and other more existential questions, but in the end, I ended up liking this book. It is very obvious satire and definitely is ridiculing the bigots and racists of the world. I hope one day, people will read this book and think it's complete gibberish because none of the content is as commonly heard or viewed, but it isn't this day. Only deducting a star for that slight uneasiness I still feel about the topic (is this really something to laugh at?), but it really was an entertaining read when reading through its satirical lens.
September 21, 2015
It is indeed, entretaining.
I have to say, I didn't expect quite much from the book except for some laughter. I did laugh, admitedly.
I feel the book repeats iself after a while, offering nothing new once you've reached half of it.
Recommended as a light read or if you have a silly but non'sensitive sense of humor.
I have to say, I didn't expect quite much from the book except for some laughter. I did laugh, admitedly.
I feel the book repeats iself after a while, offering nothing new once you've reached half of it.
Recommended as a light read or if you have a silly but non'sensitive sense of humor.
June 12, 2008
While a bit uneven at times, there were several laugh-out-loud moments, including the greatest Cher / footnote joke I've ever seen. Just remember, Merpeople were descended from mer-monkeys. Once you've accepted that, you're well on your way to enjoying this book.
November 22, 2008
This is the funniest book I have ever read, which is saying quite a lot. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard, and I've never laughed that hard at a book before. Biting satire of racism, homophobia and sexism. Plus, it comes it a very nice green hardcover.
April 11, 2021
This “case study” is hilarious and guarantees some really black humor for those who like it, but if one gets easily offended, one should probably skip reading it.
But i must confess, I did laugh at many of the puns because I obviously know this book is purely a pamphlet
But i must confess, I did laugh at many of the puns because I obviously know this book is purely a pamphlet
July 4, 2008
unapolegetically irreverent and funny
August 20, 2012
Not funny, not satirical.
October 20, 2017
Oli see nüüd mingi nali või...
June 9, 2018
What on earth did I just read?
March 3, 2024
Incredibly funny. Well worth the read
July 7, 2014
EDITORIAL REVIEW:
**A hilarious look at the races of the world—capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume**
Meet “C. H. Dalton,” a professor of racialist studies and a leading authority on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences. In the grand tradition of *The Protocols of the Elders of Zion* and *Birth of a Nation*, he is on a mission to clarify the truth about self-supremacy, drawing on eminent scholarship to enlighten a new generation of hate-mongers. Presenting evidence that everyone should be hated (even white people), *A Practical Guide to Racism* contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as:
• The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man’s burdens, such as reverse racism and white slavery, to become accomplished athletes, rhymesmiths, and dominoes champions.
• The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their unfortunate taste for the blood of Christian babies.
• A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as “women,” who are not good at anything— especially ruling the free world.
• A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time.
• A country-by-country breakdown of the “Yellow Peril,” with pointers for telling apart a race of people who all look the same.
Also included is a comprehensive glossary of timeless epithets, with hundreds of pejorative words for everyone from Phoenicians to Jews. *A Practical Guide to Racism* is sure to spark honest, instructive discourse.
June 1, 2021
I don't really know how to rate this book. Half of me wants to give it a one because it is so disgustingly vile. The other half wants to give it a five because of its sheer brilliance. Sometimes it is the latter. Other times, in attempting to be so, it ends up coming across as the former instead. It comes as no surprise that most reviews seem to be either 1 or 5. This book will definitely pull a strong reaction.
In small doses, this book can come across as witty and funny. In large... the gag reflex is pulled upon instead. CH Dalton tries his best to take common racist stereotypes and blow them up into ridiculous proportions. I will leave it to you to determine whether it succeeds or grossly fails.
About Hispanics he writes:
"That’s why many are calling for immigration reform, to prevent more Hispanics from coming here and taking low-paying jobs away from real Americans. Though, in many cases, these are jobs that American workers are too lazy to do, like playing shortstop."
About Indians:
"Indians have spread all over the world, even here to America, where they own and operate our convenience stores, drive our cabs, and answer our tech-support questions from local call centers. It is a credit to their race that they are able to apply their training as surgeons, lawyers, and scholars to these challenging new vocations. It is also a testament to the Indians’ humility and resilience that they have been able to overcome their ancient feud with our American cowboys."
If you think you might enjoy 200 nonstop pages of usually far less clever quips than the above, then this book might be for you. If your hackles are already raised... take a hard pass.
In small doses, this book can come across as witty and funny. In large... the gag reflex is pulled upon instead. CH Dalton tries his best to take common racist stereotypes and blow them up into ridiculous proportions. I will leave it to you to determine whether it succeeds or grossly fails.
About Hispanics he writes:
"That’s why many are calling for immigration reform, to prevent more Hispanics from coming here and taking low-paying jobs away from real Americans. Though, in many cases, these are jobs that American workers are too lazy to do, like playing shortstop."
About Indians:
"Indians have spread all over the world, even here to America, where they own and operate our convenience stores, drive our cabs, and answer our tech-support questions from local call centers. It is a credit to their race that they are able to apply their training as surgeons, lawyers, and scholars to these challenging new vocations. It is also a testament to the Indians’ humility and resilience that they have been able to overcome their ancient feud with our American cowboys."
If you think you might enjoy 200 nonstop pages of usually far less clever quips than the above, then this book might be for you. If your hackles are already raised... take a hard pass.
April 17, 2018
A revelation
Initially I was drawn to this book because like most white people I have an instilled hatred of every other race on planet Earth. Imagine the relief whilst reading this book I discovered I actually had a hatred of racial stereotypes. I was helplessly lost directing all my anger towards commonly agreed versions of various races rather than individuals. This is great news, and I’m very happy now to re-class myself as a slightly ill informed bigot. I’m planning on meeting some random black people and possibly a couple of Asians this week to apologise for being white, and wrong. (I don’t intend on meeting any Jews though)
Initially I was drawn to this book because like most white people I have an instilled hatred of every other race on planet Earth. Imagine the relief whilst reading this book I discovered I actually had a hatred of racial stereotypes. I was helplessly lost directing all my anger towards commonly agreed versions of various races rather than individuals. This is great news, and I’m very happy now to re-class myself as a slightly ill informed bigot. I’m planning on meeting some random black people and possibly a couple of Asians this week to apologise for being white, and wrong. (I don’t intend on meeting any Jews though)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 154 reviews