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UFO #2
Unidentified Funny Objects 2
UFO2 is the second annual collection of humorous science fiction and fantasy short stories. Inside you'll find:
- A golem on an interstellar cruise ship
- Dragon-taunting for fun and profit
- Time travel gone really wrong
- Cubicle farm wizardry
- Alien behemoths in Central Park
And much, much more!
Alex Shvartsman - FOREWORD
Ken Liu - THE MSG GOLEM
Esther Friesner - SERVICE CHARGE
J. W. Alden - ITEM NOT AS DESCRIBED
Jim C. Hines - STRANGER VS. THE MALEVOLENT MALIGNANCY
Fran Wilde - HOW TO FEED YOUR PYROKINETIC TODDLER
Matt Mikalatos - A STIFF BARGAIN
Josh Vogt - THE GIRL WITH THE DAGON TATTOO
M.C.A. Hogarth - IMPROVED CUBICLE DOOR
Mike Resnick - ON SAFARI
Konstantine Paradias - HOW YOU RUINED EVERYTHING
Jody Lynn Nye - INSIDER INFORMATION
K.G. Jewell - THE HAUNTED BLENDER
Tim Pratt - THE RETGUN
Heather Lindsley - THE DIPLOMAT’S HOLIDAY
Michelle Ann King - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR APOTHEOSIS
Desmond Warzel - ONE THING LEADS TO YOUR MOTHER
James Beamon - CLASS ACTION ORC
Wade Albert White - THE WIGGY TURPIN AFFAIR
Robert Silverberg - HANNIBAL’S ELEPHANTS
- A golem on an interstellar cruise ship
- Dragon-taunting for fun and profit
- Time travel gone really wrong
- Cubicle farm wizardry
- Alien behemoths in Central Park
And much, much more!
Alex Shvartsman - FOREWORD
Ken Liu - THE MSG GOLEM
Esther Friesner - SERVICE CHARGE
J. W. Alden - ITEM NOT AS DESCRIBED
Jim C. Hines - STRANGER VS. THE MALEVOLENT MALIGNANCY
Fran Wilde - HOW TO FEED YOUR PYROKINETIC TODDLER
Matt Mikalatos - A STIFF BARGAIN
Josh Vogt - THE GIRL WITH THE DAGON TATTOO
M.C.A. Hogarth - IMPROVED CUBICLE DOOR
Mike Resnick - ON SAFARI
Konstantine Paradias - HOW YOU RUINED EVERYTHING
Jody Lynn Nye - INSIDER INFORMATION
K.G. Jewell - THE HAUNTED BLENDER
Tim Pratt - THE RETGUN
Heather Lindsley - THE DIPLOMAT’S HOLIDAY
Michelle Ann King - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR APOTHEOSIS
Desmond Warzel - ONE THING LEADS TO YOUR MOTHER
James Beamon - CLASS ACTION ORC
Wade Albert White - THE WIGGY TURPIN AFFAIR
Robert Silverberg - HANNIBAL’S ELEPHANTS
304 pages, Nook
First published October 3, 2013
14 people are currently reading
545 people want to read
About the author
Alex Shvartsman
158 books143 followersAlex Shvartsman is a writer, editor, and translator from Brooklyn, NY. He's the author of The Middling Affliction (2022) and Eridani's Crown (2019) fantasy novels. Kakistocracy, a sequel to The Middling Affliction, is forthcoming in 2023.
Over 120 of his stories have been published in Analog, Nature, Strange Horizons, and many other venues. He won the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction and was a two-time finalist (2015 and 2017) for the Canopus Award for Excellence in Interstellar Fiction.
His collection, Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories and his steampunk humor novella H. G. Wells, Secret Agent were published in 2015. His second collection, The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories followed in 2018.
Alex is the editor of over a dozen anthologies, including the Unidentified Funny Objects annual anthology series of humorous SF/F.
Over 120 of his stories have been published in Analog, Nature, Strange Horizons, and many other venues. He won the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction and was a two-time finalist (2015 and 2017) for the Canopus Award for Excellence in Interstellar Fiction.
His collection, Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories and his steampunk humor novella H. G. Wells, Secret Agent were published in 2015. His second collection, The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories followed in 2018.
Alex is the editor of over a dozen anthologies, including the Unidentified Funny Objects annual anthology series of humorous SF/F.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 22, 2019
The best story in this collection is the first by Ken Liu. Liu makes good use of golem lore and applies it to a family vacation. It was also wonderful that the chosen one was a girl.
Esther Fresiner's "Service Charge" and J. W. Alden's "Item Not Described" will both do your soul a world of good, esp. if you are fed up with dealing with people.
Reading Jim C Hines' short story about a superhero battling cancer was, well, strange and moving considering Hines' wife's ongoing treatment for the illness. (Kick butt Amy). But it was a great rip off of Superman.
Fran Wilde's short story about toddler is great and includes a wonderful bit about teens.
If you like Lovecraft, check out "The Girl with the Dagon Tattoo".
The scariest story (and a funny one too) was "On Safari" which is basically what Alexa and Suri are going to do to us
Esther Fresiner's "Service Charge" and J. W. Alden's "Item Not Described" will both do your soul a world of good, esp. if you are fed up with dealing with people.
Reading Jim C Hines' short story about a superhero battling cancer was, well, strange and moving considering Hines' wife's ongoing treatment for the illness. (Kick butt Amy). But it was a great rip off of Superman.
Fran Wilde's short story about toddler is great and includes a wonderful bit about teens.
If you like Lovecraft, check out "The Girl with the Dagon Tattoo".
The scariest story (and a funny one too) was "On Safari" which is basically what Alexa and Suri are going to do to us
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February 3, 2016Very Funny Collection
As with all anthologies some stories are better than others but as a whole this is an excellent collection. Guaranteed to give you numerous chuckles!
As with all anthologies some stories are better than others but as a whole this is an excellent collection. Guaranteed to give you numerous chuckles!
December 7, 2021
2/5 - The MSG Golem, by Ken Liu
2/5 - Service Charge, by Esther M. Friesner
1/5 - Item Not As Described, by J.W. Alden
1/5 - Stranger Vs the Malevolent Malignancy, by Jim C. Hines
1/5 - How to Feed Your Pyrokinetic Toddler, by Fran Wilde
2/5 - A Stiff Bargain, by Matt Mikalatos
2/5 - The Girl With the Dagon Tattoo, by Josh Vogt
3/5 - Improved Cubicle Door, by M.C.A. Hogarth
4/5 - On Safari, by Mike Resnick
1/5 - How You Ruined Everything, by Konstantine Paradias
2/5 - Insider Information, by Jody Lynn Nye
2/5 - The Haunted Blender, by K.G. Jewell
0/5 - The Retgun, by Tim Pratt
1/5 - The Diplomat's Holiday, by Heather Lindsley
2/5 - Congratulations on Your Apotheosis, by Michelle Ann King
3/5 - One Thing Leads to Your Mother, by Desmond Warzel
1/5 - Classic Action Orc, by James Beamon
3/5 - The Wiggy Turpin Affair, by Wade Albert White
1/5 - Hannibal's Elephants, by Robert Silverberg
2/5 - Service Charge, by Esther M. Friesner
1/5 - Item Not As Described, by J.W. Alden
1/5 - Stranger Vs the Malevolent Malignancy, by Jim C. Hines
1/5 - How to Feed Your Pyrokinetic Toddler, by Fran Wilde
2/5 - A Stiff Bargain, by Matt Mikalatos
2/5 - The Girl With the Dagon Tattoo, by Josh Vogt
3/5 - Improved Cubicle Door, by M.C.A. Hogarth
4/5 - On Safari, by Mike Resnick
1/5 - How You Ruined Everything, by Konstantine Paradias
2/5 - Insider Information, by Jody Lynn Nye
2/5 - The Haunted Blender, by K.G. Jewell
0/5 - The Retgun, by Tim Pratt
1/5 - The Diplomat's Holiday, by Heather Lindsley
2/5 - Congratulations on Your Apotheosis, by Michelle Ann King
3/5 - One Thing Leads to Your Mother, by Desmond Warzel
1/5 - Classic Action Orc, by James Beamon
3/5 - The Wiggy Turpin Affair, by Wade Albert White
1/5 - Hannibal's Elephants, by Robert Silverberg
December 12, 2022
Alex Shvartman brings together another collection of a very diverse funny short stories that run the gamut from time travelers to dragons needing to change locations. Some have recurring characters from UFO 1 while many are stand-alone stories. My favorite three stories are "The MSG Golem" by Ken Liu, "Insider Information" by Jody Lynn Nye, "Class Action Orc" by James Beamon. But, I enjoyed pretty much all the tales. and will be looking for the other volumes in this series!
March 9, 2020
Fun Stuff
If you're looking for lighter sci-fi, these anthologies are a good match. Like most story collections, some may not work, but I enjoyed most of them, and a couple had me laughing out loud.
If you're looking for lighter sci-fi, these anthologies are a good match. Like most story collections, some may not work, but I enjoyed most of them, and a couple had me laughing out loud.
December 29, 2013
Last year I read and enjoyed the first
Unidentified Funny Objects
anthology. When Alex Shvartsman approached me about reviewing the second volume, I immediately said yes, curious to see what he'd found this year. I wasn't disappointed. There are fewer stories than last year, though they are longer and there are repeat appearances and new big names. I had a great time with the book, but there were some stories that didn't work as well for me as others did.
The ones that didn't work for me just didn't grab me or their central conceit didn't click with me. In the case of Vogt's Girl with the Dagon Tattoo it's that to me the connection to H.P. Lovecraft only became clear after the mention Chtulhu and I wasn't familiar with the story referenced by the title as I've not read Lovecraft. All of this meant that the clue to Vogt's story went right past me. Konstantine Paradias' How You Ruined Everything had a fun premise, namely time travel gone wrong, but it was written in the second person present. And that is the one narrative mode that I always struggle with. White's The Wiggy Turpin Affair was a fun story, considering its Jeeves and Wooster vibe, but I struggled to wrap my head around the resolution of the story and it left me a little underwhelmed. All of these are highly personal reactions – the stories aren't badly written at all – they just didn't connect with me. My favourite stories all did connect with me, mostly due to their narrators just clicking on my head. I'll go into my favourite stories individually.
Ken Liu - The MSG Golem
I know many people are huge fans of Liu's short fiction and I am one of them. Of all his stories I've read there are only one or two I didn't love, merely liked, so it's no surprise to find him among my favourites once again. I enjoyed Rebecca's voice immensely. She's a fun and witty ten-year-old, with a delightful mixture of world-weary cynicism pre-teens can display mixed with boundless enthusiasm to throw herself in new things whole-heartedly. I love Liu's gentle mocking of the prejudices that are oft-held about Chinese and Jewish parents. Behind the fun there is a story about family and parental love, which I found very touching.
Matt Mikalatos - A Stiff Bargain
Mikatalos is one of the returning authors from the first volume and he's stuck with his protagonist from that volume's story, the vampire Isaac Van Helsing, yes the son of that Van Helsing. The second story in which Chtulhu makes an appearance and this time my lack of grounding in his mythos wasn't a problem. I thought it was a very fun story and one filled with great secondary characters, such as Isaac's landlady Mother Holmes and his ghostly former servant Richard. What amazed me most about the story was that Chtulhu knew how to use a phone and how to prank call!
M.C.A. Hogarth - Improved Cubicle Door
Now this is how you make office life interesting. Just give everyone a limited amount of mana and a spell book and of you go. A mixture between a scathing commentary on cubicle office life and an exciting DnD campaign, I had a blast with Hogarth's story.
Jody Lynn Nye - Insider Information
It shouldn't be surprising that Insider Information is one of my favourites, since in my review for the first volume I said of Nye's story that I hoped she'd write more in this setting and perhaps even a long form story. Well, long form this is not, but it does mark the return of D.S. Dena Malone and her symbiotic alien guest, K't'ank. And like last time I adored this story. I just love the idea behind the link between Malone and K't'ank and the way Nye elaborates on it; the having to adapt her way of reading to let him watch TV, the way he's always listening in. Coupled a great crime to solve, it makes for a fantastic story and I really hope, once again, that there will be more in the future.
James Beamon - Class Action Orc
Beamon writes a great story featuring a likeable bad guy protagonist. I really liked the voice of the narrator, who is wry and unapologetic for his nature. His rivalry with the prosecutor, who is a High Elf (naturally) is very fun and they're given a great case to battle it out over in court. With as a star witness the talking sword Cleave. I swear Cleave himself is worth reading this story; he made me laugh so hard. He reminded me of the talking sword in Baldur's Gate II only smarter. Class Action Orc had me laughing out loud and I really enjoyed it. This is another setting and protagonist I'd not mind reading more of.
Overall, Unidentified Funny Objects 2 was another fun read and a good addition to the series. I look forward to seeing how Shvartsman will expand on it next year in UFO 3.
This book was provided for review by the editor.
The ones that didn't work for me just didn't grab me or their central conceit didn't click with me. In the case of Vogt's Girl with the Dagon Tattoo it's that to me the connection to H.P. Lovecraft only became clear after the mention Chtulhu and I wasn't familiar with the story referenced by the title as I've not read Lovecraft. All of this meant that the clue to Vogt's story went right past me. Konstantine Paradias' How You Ruined Everything had a fun premise, namely time travel gone wrong, but it was written in the second person present. And that is the one narrative mode that I always struggle with. White's The Wiggy Turpin Affair was a fun story, considering its Jeeves and Wooster vibe, but I struggled to wrap my head around the resolution of the story and it left me a little underwhelmed. All of these are highly personal reactions – the stories aren't badly written at all – they just didn't connect with me. My favourite stories all did connect with me, mostly due to their narrators just clicking on my head. I'll go into my favourite stories individually.
Ken Liu - The MSG Golem
I know many people are huge fans of Liu's short fiction and I am one of them. Of all his stories I've read there are only one or two I didn't love, merely liked, so it's no surprise to find him among my favourites once again. I enjoyed Rebecca's voice immensely. She's a fun and witty ten-year-old, with a delightful mixture of world-weary cynicism pre-teens can display mixed with boundless enthusiasm to throw herself in new things whole-heartedly. I love Liu's gentle mocking of the prejudices that are oft-held about Chinese and Jewish parents. Behind the fun there is a story about family and parental love, which I found very touching.
Matt Mikalatos - A Stiff Bargain
Mikatalos is one of the returning authors from the first volume and he's stuck with his protagonist from that volume's story, the vampire Isaac Van Helsing, yes the son of that Van Helsing. The second story in which Chtulhu makes an appearance and this time my lack of grounding in his mythos wasn't a problem. I thought it was a very fun story and one filled with great secondary characters, such as Isaac's landlady Mother Holmes and his ghostly former servant Richard. What amazed me most about the story was that Chtulhu knew how to use a phone and how to prank call!
M.C.A. Hogarth - Improved Cubicle Door
Now this is how you make office life interesting. Just give everyone a limited amount of mana and a spell book and of you go. A mixture between a scathing commentary on cubicle office life and an exciting DnD campaign, I had a blast with Hogarth's story.
Jody Lynn Nye - Insider Information
It shouldn't be surprising that Insider Information is one of my favourites, since in my review for the first volume I said of Nye's story that I hoped she'd write more in this setting and perhaps even a long form story. Well, long form this is not, but it does mark the return of D.S. Dena Malone and her symbiotic alien guest, K't'ank. And like last time I adored this story. I just love the idea behind the link between Malone and K't'ank and the way Nye elaborates on it; the having to adapt her way of reading to let him watch TV, the way he's always listening in. Coupled a great crime to solve, it makes for a fantastic story and I really hope, once again, that there will be more in the future.
James Beamon - Class Action Orc
Beamon writes a great story featuring a likeable bad guy protagonist. I really liked the voice of the narrator, who is wry and unapologetic for his nature. His rivalry with the prosecutor, who is a High Elf (naturally) is very fun and they're given a great case to battle it out over in court. With as a star witness the talking sword Cleave. I swear Cleave himself is worth reading this story; he made me laugh so hard. He reminded me of the talking sword in Baldur's Gate II only smarter. Class Action Orc had me laughing out loud and I really enjoyed it. This is another setting and protagonist I'd not mind reading more of.
Overall, Unidentified Funny Objects 2 was another fun read and a good addition to the series. I look forward to seeing how Shvartsman will expand on it next year in UFO 3.
This book was provided for review by the editor.
May 4, 2020
More anthology fun from the Unidentified Funny Objects folks. Some follow-up stories from #1 although many are new. Jump onboard and take a sci-fi ride!
May 27, 2020
Excellent silly sf/fantasy stories. Some by familiar first-rate authors, but many new names for me - and all the stories were good.
December 24, 2023
Here are some of my favorite stories:
Improved Cubicle Door
The MSG Golem
Improved Cubicle Door
The MSG Golem
June 5, 2025
Some were good, some weren't. Normal for any collection. Generally worth reading.
October 16, 2013
Top notch collection of hilarious speculative fiction. Incredible roster of contributors; Ken Liu, Jim C. Hines, Mike Resnick and Robert Silverberg!
There was not a story in the collection I skipped. Each one is humorous, engaging and full of imagination.
There were even several works which featured characters introduced in the prior anthology.
If you're a fan of speculative fiction of all kinds (sci-fi to fantasy to urban fantasy) you'll find something to love in this excellent collection.
There was not a story in the collection I skipped. Each one is humorous, engaging and full of imagination.
There were even several works which featured characters introduced in the prior anthology.
If you're a fan of speculative fiction of all kinds (sci-fi to fantasy to urban fantasy) you'll find something to love in this excellent collection.
June 10, 2014
The second annual humor anthology edited by Alex Shvartsman contains
19 fun stories. Shvartsman is quite the humorist in his own right, so
it must have been hard to keep from throwing one in himself. Not every
story in the collection is laugh-out-loud hilarious, but humor is
subjective, and this reader did find chuckles, giggles, and some outright guffaws.
My favorites were "How to Feed Your Pyrokinetic Toddler"
by Fran Wilde, "Congratulations on Your Apotheosis," by Michelle Ann King, and
"The Retgun" by Tim Pratt.
19 fun stories. Shvartsman is quite the humorist in his own right, so
it must have been hard to keep from throwing one in himself. Not every
story in the collection is laugh-out-loud hilarious, but humor is
subjective, and this reader did find chuckles, giggles, and some outright guffaws.
My favorites were "How to Feed Your Pyrokinetic Toddler"
by Fran Wilde, "Congratulations on Your Apotheosis," by Michelle Ann King, and
"The Retgun" by Tim Pratt.
May 8, 2014
A good collection of short stories with my favorite being Improved Cubicle Door by M.C.A. Hogarth. What could be better than a story about office politics and magic? James Beamon has a great story about an Orc acting as a defense attorney. There are many more weird and fanciful stories that you will be sure to enjoy.
December 23, 2013
This is a worthy followup to last year's UFO No. 1. Some of the stories veered too much into the puntastic for my taste, but there are others that will stay with me for a long time, and cause mysterious chuckles during conference calls. C'mon, you can't go wrong with MSG Golems.
July 31, 2023
Bizarre. Chuckle. Series has trapped me. Ahhhh.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews