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Ich weiß, was Sie denken! Vier glasklare Methoden, Menschen zu durchschauen

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"A practical and savvy guide."
-- Gavin de Becker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear
"Understanding nonverbal language is the essential skill in any profession that involves communication. This book is the best primer on the topic of nonverbal communication I have ever read."
-- Geoffrey N. Fieger, noted trial attorney
"As a regular contributor to and commentator on Court TV, Dr. Lillian Glass has repeatedly demonstrated her exceptional professional skills of reading people in our on-air coverage of several trials. In this book, she shares with readers these skills, which could prove to be invaluable in every aspect of your life."
-- Nancy Grace, Court TV
"A must-read for everyone, whether they are in business or not. Applause to Dr. Glass for giving the public such an important work."
-- Arnold Kopelson, motion picture producer
Knowing how to read people-- picking up on and interpreting their hidden cues-- is a tremendous asset for virtually anything you do. In I Know What You're Thinking, psychologist, bestselling author, and communications expert Dr. Lillian Glass helps you develop a tremendous new set of skills that will make you more perceptive, more powerful, and more successful. As she has done for her numerous clients, Dr. Glass shows you-- step by step-- how to gain the power to know the truth about people. Through simple quizzes and easy-to-follow exercises, you'll learn to improve your judgment of others and make better decisions while projecting confidence, sincerity, and strength. With this fun, down-to-earth guide, you'll be able to look anyone in the eye with a quiet self-assurance that says I Know What You're Thinking.

287 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1997

66 people are currently reading
698 people want to read

About the author

Lillian Glass

75 books50 followers
Dr. Lillian Glass is an international communication and body language expert, media commentator and author of a dozen books, including Toxic People, He Says She Says, and a body language book, I Know What You're Thinking. She has a monthly body language column in Cosmopolitan Magazine. She also is actively involved as a jury consultant.

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5 stars
116 (21%)
4 stars
142 (26%)
3 stars
173 (32%)
2 stars
70 (13%)
1 star
34 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
Profile Image for Starfire.
1,305 reviews31 followers
February 19, 2010
Right, finally time to review this book, after posting so many disparaging status updates along the way. Finishing it was touch and go there for a bit, but I've plowed on through it, and I'm treating it as a valuable experience anywway for two reasons. One is that it has a truly excellent reference list at the end, one for which I fully intend to make my way through as many of the titles as possible.

The other is that it's sometimes as valuable to see examples of bad thinking / interpretation in practice to help you recognise it in yourself, as it is to see the good stuff. And Dr Glass, double-PhD-in-communication-and-counselling-psych, gives ample examples of the former.

"I Know What You're Thinking" would probably be better titled as "I Know What Kind of Person You Are", since there's actually very little about knowing what someone is thinking or feeling, and it's far more about categorising people according to a personality label (e.g. "The Bully", "The Wimp", "The Giver", "The Victim"). In this, "Dr" Glass starts off making what all Social Psych 101 students learn in their first year as "The Fundamental Attribution Error" - the Western tendency, when interpreting the behaviour of others, to overvalue personality/dispositional reasons and undervalue situational ones. So, for example, your immediate explanation for someone cutting you off in traffic is that it's because they're a jerk and a bad driver - not because they have, for example, a five-year old child with a 39 degree fever in the back seat that they're trying to rush to a doctor's to be checked. This book is choc-full of such dispositional explanations for non-verbal communication: people talk too quietly because they're passive-aggressive and want the attention of being asked to repeat themselves, they stand too close because they're bullies who want to intimidate, they constantly rub their noses or touch their faces because they're habitual liars, they talk about themselves because they're narcissists. The idea that the person might come from a culture where speaking softer or standing closer than Dr Glass is used to doesn't appear to register - nor does it seem possible, in her estimation, that someone might simply be uncomfortable with a specific situation and engage in self-touching in that situation as a behavioural adaptor (or y'know, just have an itchy nose!), or talk about themselves a lot in the one situation in which you've met them because something incredibly exciting and lifechanging happened to them half an hour before hand... none of that seems like a possible alternate explanation in Dr Glass's worldview.

As a add-on to the Fundamental Attribution Error, Dr Glass also constantly displays what Paul Ekman describes as "The Othello Error". This error is named based around the scene where Othello confronts Desdemona about her suspected infidelity, correctly identifies her look of fear, but incorrectly attributes it to fear of having said infidelity discovered, when really, she's innocent and terrified of being found falsely guilty. In the majority of the few times Dr Glass does fall back on situational, rather than personality-based explanations for a given piece of observed non-verbal communication, she assumes that reason for that observation is obvious. For example, if you tell someone you've just been promoted and they give you a tight "fake" smile when they say "congratulations", it must obviously be because that person is jealous, doesn't like you, and doesn't want you to succeed. It couldn't, for example, be that that was the promotion *they* were expecting and had already been told was supposed to be *theirs*, and needed in order to advance their own career... or even, perhaps, that they knew something disturbing you didn't about the new boss you'd be working for, and they weren't sure whether to burst your bubble by telling you or not.

Added to these three errors is a sense of... I guess you'd call it tunnel vision and "one-right-way"-ness on both a cultural and an interpersonal level. Except for a brief recognition in the chapter on vocal cues that Americans from Southern states tend to talk more slowly than those from, say, New York, there is NO evidence of acknowledging that other cultures (especially non-Western ones) have totally different rules for what is and isn't appropriate in terms of vocal pitch, talking speed, volume, facial expression display, body language and touch conventions. Even within the American culture as a whole, there's no recognition that there are many, many flavours of culture; and that perhaps what Dr Glass thinks is socially appropriate in her celebrity-laden professional academic circles may be highly *inappropriate* in other strata of the American culture. She constantly describes the cues to look out for in terms of "too" something (e.g. walking too fast, talking too loudly, blinking too much) - a term which implies that there's one "right" universal speed, volume or blinking rate. There's no recognition of individual differences either - the implication is that a reader should judge everyone using their own standards, and then assume that anyone who doesn't conform to their own personal standard can rightfully be labelled a bully, a wimp, a seducer, etc.

There are other issues I had with the book as I worked my way through it as well... for example, starting off with a self-report quiz that's supposed to tell you how well you already read people, but instead just reflects how you feel about what you think your abilities are on a given day, which can often bear no resemblence whatsoever to your actual abilities on a practical level. Or the repeated universalising: the constant use of the terms "always" and "never" rather than talking about tendencies. Then there's the assumptions that people are tightly, permanently locked into a single personality profile, rather than being able to display a mixture of tendencies from the different archetypes, which might potentially change over time depending on what else is going on in a person's life, and how comfortable or uncomfortable they are in the specific situation in which you observe them. Or, finally, the combination of extreme polarity and sheer negativity that runs through the pages - in Dr Glass's book, people are either wonderfully caring, considerate, genuine, never putting themselves above others or saying an unkind word (yet somehow still honest, truthful and true to themselves!) 100% of the time, or they're toxic to you: bad, evil and nasty in a variety of ways. There is, apparently, no in between - no room for mere mortals who try to be any or all of these things when they can, but for whom life can sometimes get the better of their good intentions. Negativity-wise, of Dr Glass's 14 personality types, one is clearly "good" and what everyone should expect the people around them to be as of entitled right, three are sort of neutral and mildly toxic - not great, but acknowledged as annoying/amusing/frustrating etc, and the other 9 are clearly bad, evil and nasty as mentioned above.

So yeah... reading this book was valuable to me because it gave me a great chance to see all of these fundamental interpretation and thinking errors in action, which in turn will hopefully help me to be more on guard against the temptation to make them in my own observation and interpretation of non-verbal cues.

Would I recommend it as a resource for someone who wants to learn how to read and understand NVC? HELL NO! At least, not unless it was part of a critical thinking exercise for readers to critique after having learned about the above errors. I think it's fair to say I will NOT be reading more of Dr Glass's books (although I am looking forward to working my way through some of the titles in her Recommended Reading list). In the end, I'm giving this a 2/10, which should tell you everything you need to know about my thoughts!
Profile Image for Valentina Năstăşel.
28 reviews10 followers
January 18, 2017
The first and probably the last book I'll read on (among other things discussed) body language.
Full of labeling, partly inaccurate. Dr. Glass just rehashes well-known psychology facts, which she presents in a sensationalistic manner as something new, discovered during her work with "thousands and thousands" of clients.
Didn't see the "Dr" in Dr. Glass (who also earned a PhD in counseling).
A bad pop psychology book.
Profile Image for فنافن.
300 reviews73 followers
August 21, 2010
كتاب مدهش بحق ! ؛
كل ما فيه مقارب للواقع بدرجة كبيرة ..

طبقت بعض ما ورد فيه وفعلاً قوبلت بالدهشة لمعرفتي بـ ما يفكر به من أمامي ..

أنصح بقراءته وبشدة .. يعينك على تحديد الشخص الذي أمامك من أي فئة هو ؟
Profile Image for Cher.
468 reviews
September 22, 2011
Poor science, some good insights, very "loaded" language and anecdoctal evidence only to back up her generalizations regarding body language.
Profile Image for Hanan.
6 reviews7 followers
February 18, 2009
استمتعت بقراءة
ساعدني كثير في معرفة الأشخاص، وبالذات المقربين مني لأني أكون منتبهه لحركتهم باستمرار

Profile Image for Mona.
190 reviews143 followers
February 5, 2013
كتاب ممل و أفكاره عشوائية و غير مرتبة نهائياً , أنهيته بشق الأنفس وأعتقد أن كتاب " المرجع الأكيد في لغة الجسد " آلان وباربارا بييز أشمل و أفضل لمن يرغب بالقراءة عن نفس الموضوع

Profile Image for Layla.
11 reviews1 follower
Read
September 15, 2022
Read this 10 years ago or so and liked it!
Profile Image for Haifa Busamra.
Author 9 books47 followers
April 4, 2018
جميل أن تعرف ما يفكر به الآخرون لتعرف كيف تتعامل معهم، الواقع أننا نمارس عادة قراءة الناس من حولنا بشكل يومي دون أن نشعر، وهي في حقيقتها أمر فطري في البشر، إلا أنها تتفاوت من شخص لآخر من حيث قوة ملاحظته وتحليله لما يراه ويسمعه ويحس به من تعابير وحركات وكلام وانفعالات تصدر عنه أو عمن حوله.. يمكن ملاحظة ذلك جليا في الأطفال، إذ تراهم يقرؤون من يتعاملون معهم وبالذات أبويهم ما يساعدهم على نيل مبتغاهم منهم أو تحاشيهم.
الكتاب تناول وصف العديد من الشخصيات محللا إياها لأربع شفرات (الكلام، الصوت، الجسد، الوجه)، ورغم أن ذلك التحليل خلاصة دراسة مطولة، إلا أني لم أجده دقيقا كفاية للحكم على الشخص بأنه ينتمي لهذه الشخصية أو لتلك.. ففي كثير من الحالات، كانت الشخصيات التي تدور في ذهني وأنا أقرأ صفاتها وأحاول تصنيفها وفق ما هو مذكور في الكتاب، لا تكاد ينطبق عليها وصف بعينه بشكل كامل، بل أجده مشتتا في أكثر من وصف وتحليل.. بمعنى آخر، لا يمكن الإعتماد على كتاب لقراءة شخصيات من حولنا، وتبقى فطرة البشر في ملاحظة من يتعاملون معه أقوى وأدق في فهم الناس والتعامل معهم
Profile Image for Barbara.
718 reviews27 followers
March 22, 2020
Was verspreche ich mir von der Lektüre solcher Bücher eigentlich noch? Dass Körpersprache, Mimik, Stimme und Haltung Aufschluss darüber geben können, ob uns jemand sympathisch ist oder nicht, ist klar. Ob man daraus aber in so einfacher Weise, wie es Glass aufschreibt, alle Menschen gleich in 14 Persönlichkeitstypen einteilen kann (wovon die meisten übrigens solche sind, von denen man sich fernhalten sollte), wage ich zu bezweifeln. Beziehungsweise: können schon, aber kommt man damit wirklich weiter? Glass erwähnt zwar, dass manche Eigenschaften auch andere Ursachen (biologische oder kulturelle...) haben können als eine schlechte Persönlichkeit, bleibt aber doch bei ihrer Typisierung (sonst wäre ja der Ratgeber obsolet). Es geht hier übrigens NICHT ums "Durchschauen" oder was jemand anderes denkt, sondern lediglich darum, "giftige" (ich vermute im Original "toxic") Menschen im eigenen Leben zu erkennen und zu meiden.
Sachlich-neutral zusammengefasst ermuntert sie zum scharfen Beobachten verschiedener Informationskanäle und diese mit dem Bauchgefühl abzugleichen, um sich einen zuverlässigen Eindruck von der Persönlichkeit einer Person zu verschaffen. Böse gesagt fördert sie simplifizierte, ethnozentristische Schubladisierung.
Profile Image for عبدالإله العمار.
231 reviews398 followers
September 8, 2021
نجمتان لما يمكن أن تفتحه مثل هذه الكتب من مدارك لمعرفة أنواع الناس، كان من قراءاتي الأولى، أما الآن فقناعتي أن هناك أصولاً لهذا العلم كافية عما سواها تنحصر في كتاب معدودين كستيفن كوفي وديل كارنجي، أما البقية فينسخون من بعضهم مع إضافات من التجارب الشخصية ومسحة من قوالب الإثارة والتشويق..
ومما يثقل علي في هذه الكتب وجود مسحة من التعالي ومن قبيل "كن مثلي فأنا من يفعل الأمر الصحيح قطعاً" وفي ذلك من النرجسية أكثر مما يحتمل..
الذي يريد أن يقطع الوقت وليس لديه الطاقة لقراءة الكتب ذات الطراز الرفيع فمثل هذه الكتب جيدة له..
4 reviews4 followers
December 30, 2007
What i liked about this book is that its like a guide
it gives you some guidelines to use in identifying a certain character this will help people understand alot more their co-workers especially if your a perosn in charge like a head of department or dean or executive manager etc... And also in our daily social lives you can learn alot about people you meet for the first time by identifying what their body gesture is trying to say.
Profile Image for Yuting.
21 reviews1 follower
March 2, 2011
A fantastic book that breaks down what to look for when reading people, and what exactly their behaviour and actions mean. Highly recommended.

I would recommend purchasing an electronic version of this book as it will greatly facilitate and speed up the searching and referencing of this book
Profile Image for Mashael Alamri.
328 reviews555 followers
April 10, 2008
تعلمت كيف أقرأ الشخص من الخارج وأفهم مشاعرة ودوافعه للكلام
,و كيف أكون مُلاحظة جيدة
*كيفية فهم لغة الجسد في هذا الكتاب مبسطة جداً
Profile Image for miss_hoopoe.
16 reviews7 followers
June 19, 2011
كتاب يعطي نبذة مبطة عن لغة الجسد ..
ملئ بالقصص الواقعية التي عايشها المؤلف بحكم عمله كدكتور نفسي
ساعده فهم لغة الجسد في عمله بشكل واضح ..
Profile Image for Harumi.
25 reviews
December 20, 2021
Muy interesantes las ideas de este libro y la forma práctica y sencilla con la que se muestran. Realmente cambia tu perspectiva respecto a relacionarte con otras personas.
Profile Image for هبه.
Author 5 books9 followers
July 11, 2022
I'm absolutely convinced that a book is sold only by its title; So I decided to read this wonderful book and I didn't regret this decision because the book is very interesting.
the book started with a small test to help you discover how you rank in knowing yourself and others.
The writer put this quiz to discover if you're already a person who can read others and how well you can accomplish this task.
Now I'll tell you about the 4 codes of communication:
1- Understand the speech code
the writer here talks about verbal words.
2- Understand the vocal code
here the book speaks about "the voice" and how your voice tone delivers your feelings successfully.
3- Understand the body language code
the body doesn't lie, so watch your body movements, the way you walk, and even what you wear.
4- Understand the facial code
at the final code the writer talks about how important your facial expressions are, especially your eyes.
Can I tell you a secret about me? I give the books I read five stars because they take me with them on their journeys.

Profile Image for Florencio Rustrián Monroy.
50 reviews
August 7, 2022
Considero que puede llegar a ser muy absolutista en muchas de sus opiniones, y que en si todo su libro se basa es eso, sus opiniones, que si bien constan del fundamento de su propio estudio y experiencia profesional, pueden tender a ser un poco extremas.

Fuera de esto, sus opiniones aportan mucho valor en cuanto a los que la autora considera los 4 códigos del lenguaje corporal, los que opino son muy atinados y certeros, a la par que no tan solo los expone con ejemplos de sus consultas, sino que al final nos da un marco de acción para reconocer por su lenguaje corporal las características de una persona dentro de un grupo de personalidad que tiene determinados rasgos y comportamientos con respecto a los 4 códigos mencionados.

Es una buena lectura y si empleas su marco de personalidades puedes clasificar a las personas de forma atinada y concreta para saber cómo lidiar con estas.
Profile Image for FoX.
59 reviews1 follower
December 19, 2018
In the first 100 pages there was more like a sale for the next 100 pages. The first part was like a loooong boring intro with promises on how good you will be able to “read” people and how awesome this book will become.
The second part of the book was indeed good but I was already bored.
Not recommending it
Profile Image for Ra_one.
55 reviews4 followers
July 17, 2021
الكتاب يصلح لمرجع أكثر من أن تتعلم منه أو تحاول حفظه أو فهمه .. يحتوي على معلومات كثيرة ومتنوعة وبما أنه غير مُدعم بالصور فتبدو مربكة أحياناً .. أفضل إستخدام للكتاب يكون عن طريق ملاحظة الشخص الذي ترغب بقرائته ملاحظة دقيقة شديدة ومن ثم فتح الكتاب ومحاولة إيجاد الوصف الخاص به ومن ثم بدأ التعرف عليه ..
4 reviews
August 12, 2025
One of the best psychology books I’ve ever read. You can definitely tell that it is a tad outdated — but nonetheless — Dr. Glass’s psychoanalyses of body language and nonverbal communication is impressive. I’ve read this book multiple times and I am amazed each time. Would highly recommend to anyone interested in psychology!
4 reviews
May 16, 2017
كتاب جميل للمبتدئين في قراءة مواضيع تخص علم النفس والبرمجة اللغوية العصبية ،، قرأته في الصغر لا أعتقد بأنه رائع لتلك الدرجة ولكن أفادني فعلا
Profile Image for Yuval.
141 reviews13 followers
January 31, 2018
too long but overall o.k.
p.s. hebrew translation is trash
Profile Image for Fatma.
90 reviews7 followers
March 2, 2020
انصح فيه احس صرت شيرلوك هولمز بعد ما قرأته 😀👌
Profile Image for Kavish.
193 reviews27 followers
November 23, 2020
As far as reading people is concerned,the book is not very thorough but it does contain a few nuggets of wisdom.Definitely worth a read!
Profile Image for Albertot Torres.
8 reviews1 follower
July 11, 2021
Pésimo, debí sospechar lo por el color de la portada. Me gustaría poder recomendar algo sobre lenguaje corporal pero en este momento no he leído nada respeto a este tema
Profile Image for Gilad Levin.
25 reviews
December 20, 2022
Highly recommended. This is the only book you’ll have to read when it comes to reading body language. Totally changed the way I interact. Amazing.
Profile Image for نرجس زيدان.
Author 2 books36 followers
October 7, 2023
قرأته قبل سنوات.
حوّلني من شخصٍ لا يفهم حقيقة الأشخاص و تأويل كلامهم، إلى شخص يُمكنه قراءة البشر و فهم صمتهم.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews

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