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It's Just a F***ing Date: Some Sort of Book About Dating
A fun and funny guide to dating from the New York Times bestselling authors of IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN and HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
“The book is jam-packed with straight-talking tips on how to bag your man, and quite frankly, we can’t put it down.” – The Sun
Why does dating have to be so hard?
It doesn’t! Stop trying to out-game the system and relax. IT’S JUST A F***ING DATE presents the tools, not the rules, for bringing back the art of the date. The ordeals of 21st century dating, from online dating and hooking up to pulling the plug when it isn’t working, will soon be easy to navigate. With tips to define what is and isn’t a date, how to get asked out, and setting your own dating standards, dating won’t seem old-fashioned, it will be fun.
Bestselling authors Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola return to the minefield of modern relationships with this revised and updated edition.
Praise for HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU:
“No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks. He’s just not that into you.” – Washington Post
“Brims with straight talk about the boy-meets-girl game, delivered with hefty doses of humor from the Y chromosome’s mouth.” – USA Today
“A surprisingly fascinating addition to the cultural canon of single, urban life.” —Los Angeles Times
“Evil genius.” – New York Times
Praise for IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN:
“You will get through this, and you'll do it faster with the help of ""It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken"".” – Glamour
“Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever.” – Publishers Weekly
“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” – New York Post
“The book is jam-packed with straight-talking tips on how to bag your man, and quite frankly, we can’t put it down.” – The Sun
Why does dating have to be so hard?
It doesn’t! Stop trying to out-game the system and relax. IT’S JUST A F***ING DATE presents the tools, not the rules, for bringing back the art of the date. The ordeals of 21st century dating, from online dating and hooking up to pulling the plug when it isn’t working, will soon be easy to navigate. With tips to define what is and isn’t a date, how to get asked out, and setting your own dating standards, dating won’t seem old-fashioned, it will be fun.
Bestselling authors Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola return to the minefield of modern relationships with this revised and updated edition.
Praise for HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU:
“No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks. He’s just not that into you.” – Washington Post
“Brims with straight talk about the boy-meets-girl game, delivered with hefty doses of humor from the Y chromosome’s mouth.” – USA Today
“A surprisingly fascinating addition to the cultural canon of single, urban life.” —Los Angeles Times
“Evil genius.” – New York Times
Praise for IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN:
“You will get through this, and you'll do it faster with the help of ""It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken"".” – Glamour
“Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever.” – Publishers Weekly
“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” – New York Post
339 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2007
229 people are currently reading
2167 people want to read
About the author
Greg Behrendt
28 books836 followersGregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Greg Behrendt's Wake Up Call (2009).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
July 23, 2013
Full disclosure: I don't like dating self help books. On the whole I think they're based on bullshit as their main job security seems to be gender stereotypes, and the insecurities of others.
So then why bother reading one if I'm not going to like it and just complain about it? Why should I step out of my comfort zone and read something I know I probably won't like? And why give my obviously biased opinion on the internet? Honestly?
That and I was curious. Maybe I'm wrong about these "Date like I date. Fuck like I fuck. If it fails then you're the loser for not being like me. Enjoy your lonely life with your fifteen cats why no I'm not manipulating you like your last boyfriend did AT ALL! By the way, you're fat." guides. And since I received this book for free I figured it would be no big loss.
So I downloaded my ebook, did my best to erase my mind of any preconceived notions, and started reading to try and figure out why so many people are into these dating guides.
I still don't get their appeal. But I could have ended up hating this a lot more than I do. I'm not as angry as I thought I would be right now.
Before I start with the things I didn't like, let's start with the positive things I was able to find in this book. I liked how the book mentions that it's important to do what's right for you and to know what you want. That yes, things like self worth, having a life, not being clingy, not having unrealistic demands, not tolerating jerks, not settling for less, not needing a man to complete you, not compromising your standards, and taking control of your life are very important things. I also liked that they reminded readers that most dates/relationships won't work out. That doesn't mean it was bad or a complete failure. It just didn't work. It happens. It's life. It's just a fucking date, after all.
Good job, Greg and Amiira. This is how you got me to not hate you.
Seriously, I was impressed. Didn't see that coming.
Here's the thing though. There's only so many times you can repeat those things before I start to wonder if you think your more loyal fans are complete idiots. Because after so long of being reminded of the same things over and over again, I started thinking this:
And there's really only so many times you can remind me to stop looking so awful and put on some make up because if you look good you'll feel good without me eventually thinking this:
This is when they start playing into unrealistic beauty standards to remind you how your job is supposed to sit there and look pretty so that a man can "chase" you. But, judging by the endless section about how you should not, OH MY GOD, absolutely SHOULD NOT be clingy, I think they figure sitting and being pretty is about all they can handle. Because apparently all their readers do this on the first date:
Look, women are not human decorations/antelope hybrids of insanity.
Oh, and the whole "Should I ask him out on a date?" question.
Men don't like it when you out right ask them out! It will make them shit their Batman pull-ups and then he won't feel like a big boy anymore! Men like the chase! Like you're playing African safari, you pretty little prey you! Men are told they're supposed to ask women out! No guy is told to just be pretty and wait for a girl to ask them out! We all fight gender stereotypes but I follow them because it makes me money! I know it's unfair but oh well!
1. If a guy gets that offended about you asking him out, you just dodged a very insecure whiny bullet.
2. I'm not just pretty. Thanks.
3. Get a grip and loosen up the rules a bit.
But a small amount of credit can be given to Greg by admitting that if asking guys out works for you, then hey, go for it.
Points were unfortunately lost by me having to endure pages of cutesy "I'm not really asking you out but I'm going to try to convince you to ask you out by essentially asking you out but gently and all coy-like TEE HEE!"
At the end, the underlying message seemed to be "You do all THIS work because you do this and this wrong because it's a woman's nature. I don't know why. I just made that up." while men don't have to do all that much because "It's men's nature to do it. Sorry, kitten/hot stuff/Ladybug." and that self-help dating rule makes me tired.
Oh, and about thinking calling your readers kitten/hot stuff/Ladybug is funny or whatever?
The thing that earned them the extra star is that, really, I do think they care. I find their condescending repetition and adherence to gender stereotypes that do not apply to everyone insulting. But I can't outright call them assholes.
But, here's the thing. The good parts of this book? Us women folk will get it the first time you say it. And if some of us don't, we probably need therapy.
*I received this book for free on netgalley*
So then why bother reading one if I'm not going to like it and just complain about it? Why should I step out of my comfort zone and read something I know I probably won't like? And why give my obviously biased opinion on the internet? Honestly?
That and I was curious. Maybe I'm wrong about these "Date like I date. Fuck like I fuck. If it fails then you're the loser for not being like me. Enjoy your lonely life with your fifteen cats why no I'm not manipulating you like your last boyfriend did AT ALL! By the way, you're fat." guides. And since I received this book for free I figured it would be no big loss.
So I downloaded my ebook, did my best to erase my mind of any preconceived notions, and started reading to try and figure out why so many people are into these dating guides.
I still don't get their appeal. But I could have ended up hating this a lot more than I do. I'm not as angry as I thought I would be right now.
Before I start with the things I didn't like, let's start with the positive things I was able to find in this book. I liked how the book mentions that it's important to do what's right for you and to know what you want. That yes, things like self worth, having a life, not being clingy, not having unrealistic demands, not tolerating jerks, not settling for less, not needing a man to complete you, not compromising your standards, and taking control of your life are very important things. I also liked that they reminded readers that most dates/relationships won't work out. That doesn't mean it was bad or a complete failure. It just didn't work. It happens. It's life. It's just a fucking date, after all.
Good job, Greg and Amiira. This is how you got me to not hate you.
Seriously, I was impressed. Didn't see that coming.
Here's the thing though. There's only so many times you can repeat those things before I start to wonder if you think your more loyal fans are complete idiots. Because after so long of being reminded of the same things over and over again, I started thinking this:
And there's really only so many times you can remind me to stop looking so awful and put on some make up because if you look good you'll feel good without me eventually thinking this:
This is when they start playing into unrealistic beauty standards to remind you how your job is supposed to sit there and look pretty so that a man can "chase" you. But, judging by the endless section about how you should not, OH MY GOD, absolutely SHOULD NOT be clingy, I think they figure sitting and being pretty is about all they can handle. Because apparently all their readers do this on the first date:
Look, women are not human decorations/antelope hybrids of insanity.
Oh, and the whole "Should I ask him out on a date?" question.
Men don't like it when you out right ask them out! It will make them shit their Batman pull-ups and then he won't feel like a big boy anymore! Men like the chase! Like you're playing African safari, you pretty little prey you! Men are told they're supposed to ask women out! No guy is told to just be pretty and wait for a girl to ask them out! We all fight gender stereotypes but I follow them because it makes me money! I know it's unfair but oh well!
1. If a guy gets that offended about you asking him out, you just dodged a very insecure whiny bullet.
2. I'm not just pretty. Thanks.
3. Get a grip and loosen up the rules a bit.
But a small amount of credit can be given to Greg by admitting that if asking guys out works for you, then hey, go for it.
Points were unfortunately lost by me having to endure pages of cutesy "I'm not really asking you out but I'm going to try to convince you to ask you out by essentially asking you out but gently and all coy-like TEE HEE!"
At the end, the underlying message seemed to be "You do all THIS work because you do this and this wrong because it's a woman's nature. I don't know why. I just made that up." while men don't have to do all that much because "It's men's nature to do it. Sorry, kitten/hot stuff/Ladybug." and that self-help dating rule makes me tired.
Oh, and about thinking calling your readers kitten/hot stuff/Ladybug is funny or whatever?
The thing that earned them the extra star is that, really, I do think they care. I find their condescending repetition and adherence to gender stereotypes that do not apply to everyone insulting. But I can't outright call them assholes.
But, here's the thing. The good parts of this book? Us women folk will get it the first time you say it. And if some of us don't, we probably need therapy.
*I received this book for free on netgalley*
July 25, 2013
Why does someone who has been married for 7 years want to read a dating advice book? ::crickets:: I honestly was pretty curious about Greg Behrendt after hearing soooo much hype about "He's Just Not That Into You". I went into this with an open mind, just wanting to see what these authors had to say about the sucky sucky world of dating.
What did I like about this book? They gave pretty good dating advice in a really funny way. I think the best thing that I took from it was that you should not go on "non-dates". Don't do random hook-ups, don't text vagina pics... just stop what you are doing and go on a legit DATE. It seems pretty simple but I know so many people who don't actually date and live in that awful gray area of not dating but not not dating.
However, after a while this book got really repetitive. I found my attention wandering and It wasn't funny enough or interesting enough to keep me wanting to read. Now if I was a single girl, I might feel differently. All in all, I think this is a cute, mildly entertaining book full of simple dating advice.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
What did I like about this book? They gave pretty good dating advice in a really funny way. I think the best thing that I took from it was that you should not go on "non-dates". Don't do random hook-ups, don't text vagina pics... just stop what you are doing and go on a legit DATE. It seems pretty simple but I know so many people who don't actually date and live in that awful gray area of not dating but not not dating.
However, after a while this book got really repetitive. I found my attention wandering and It wasn't funny enough or interesting enough to keep me wanting to read. Now if I was a single girl, I might feel differently. All in all, I think this is a cute, mildly entertaining book full of simple dating advice.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
December 7, 2013
What would happen if I, a single white male in his 40s with an ex-wife, no kids and a fondness for writing sketch comedy, wrote a book entitled 'The Third Trimester And What To Expect'? That's about what you get when you have a couple who has been married since before 911 come together and write a book about dating in the 21st century.
Equal parts outdated and unhelpful, the tome attempts to guide women through the beautifully messy world of dating, encouraging them to wholly disregard their own power by either waiting for a man to ask them out or manipulating them into asking them out. Paraphrased example: "Hey, if a too-shy guy comes up and asks, is this seat taken, tell him 'it's available for the man who is going to ask me out - is that you?'
I saw the two authors in person recently and the wife - I don't know what she does, apart from wear a full pound of makeup on her face - actually suggested this take: "If a man doesn't ask you out, tell him, 'there's an opening in the space/time continuum and if you ask me out in the next 5 minutes, I'll accept.'
When the book isn't dabbling in suggested dialogue that would be deemed too corny for public access television, it throws in jokes that would bomb at any open mic. A thorough embarrassment.
Equal parts outdated and unhelpful, the tome attempts to guide women through the beautifully messy world of dating, encouraging them to wholly disregard their own power by either waiting for a man to ask them out or manipulating them into asking them out. Paraphrased example: "Hey, if a too-shy guy comes up and asks, is this seat taken, tell him 'it's available for the man who is going to ask me out - is that you?'
I saw the two authors in person recently and the wife - I don't know what she does, apart from wear a full pound of makeup on her face - actually suggested this take: "If a man doesn't ask you out, tell him, 'there's an opening in the space/time continuum and if you ask me out in the next 5 minutes, I'll accept.'
When the book isn't dabbling in suggested dialogue that would be deemed too corny for public access television, it throws in jokes that would bomb at any open mic. A thorough embarrassment.
August 16, 2010
I had to order the dern thing since it's only sold in the UK. Once again as in "He's Just Not That Into You," very straightforward, humorous, and realistic advice that is basically the common sense that [some:] women have trouble telling ourselves. Super fun to read.
January 13, 2011
Best-selling author of “He’s just not that into you”, Greg Behrendt gives you all the answers to those tricky dating questions. Firstly the author helps you to identify what makes a date, a date. And no, ‘hanging out’ is not a date, and nor is ‘hooking up’ for that matter. Meeting a stranger in a bar and going home together? Definitely – not a date! So, once you’ve discovered the difference between a date and a booty call – what now? Well, don’t panic, as Behrendt says – “it’s just a #@* date, and not all dates turn into relationships.” The author provides lots of examples of how dates can go wrong, along with some good advice on how to avoid toxic dating behaviour (like being too needy or stalkerish). He has 8 Principles for dating and Principle #7, “Don’t show the movie before the trailer”, is one that is often ignored, resulting in very short term relationships.
A humourous look at the pleasures and pitfalls of dating, Behrendt provides his insights from the male point of view, and this is nicely balanced by input from wife and co-author, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.
A humourous look at the pleasures and pitfalls of dating, Behrendt provides his insights from the male point of view, and this is nicely balanced by input from wife and co-author, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.
July 24, 2013
ABsolutely loved this book! Straight to the point, no sugar coating it tools not tricks or head games. Everything this book tells you rings true, we have all lost the art of actual dating - along with the art of actual communication (my opinion). The book is funny, entertaining, informative and just plain outstanding! Get your highlighters out ladies :)
July 6, 2021
Did not like this. Did not actually finish it, got too annoyed by the end. The only usefill tip is actually in the title, basically it's just a fucking date, just get out there. Otherwise, very sexist and outdated advice!
September 18, 2013
My friend and I have a little self help book club and so we read this one for funzies. I really liked "He's Just Not that Into You," and actually after reading this book I re-read the parts of HJNTIY that I remember having an impact when I first read it ~5 years ago.
Juxtaposing these two Greg Behrendt books side by side, I came to the conclusion that... Greg is just kind of over the hill re: the dating scene. Whereas "He's Just..." spoke to values and self-respect (more timeless dating notions) "It's Just..." felt like trying to read dinosaur's take on the modern day world. In particular, NEEDING a call from a guy no matter what, NEEDING to be asked out by asking the guy out and then saying "question mark?", and the terrible online dating profile they put together at the end!
Probably the biggest reason I didn't like this book is the female counterpart. I remember in "He's Just Not..." thinking the woman was a little needy and desperate, but as I near 30 (eeks!), I get her perspective a bit more! Greg's wife, on the other hand, is, as we concluded at our book club "totally full of herself." I found parts of this book really mean and condescending! Amiira's "oooh you probably haven't found the One because you dress like a hooch" or "let me explain to you how CLASSY woman (like myself) act, and that's why I'm married!!!" There was definitely a holier-than-thou act going on which is really a terrible thing to put upon people who put aside time to hear your advice! I believe there were even sections that read "well, if you were that great you wouldn't be reading this book." Excuse me???
Greg is, as always, ever the compassionate and sweet guy. However, I was also disappointed in hearing about his dark past. I guess I just had this fantasy version of him laid out as this awesome person his whole life.
That being said, the first chapter or two had some interesting points about the dilution of dating quality, and I was able to finish it (though by the end it was pretty painful and I was almost gritting my teeth). Greg, you're awesome. I'm sure your wife is too... as a wife and mother. Just please don't include her in your future books.
Juxtaposing these two Greg Behrendt books side by side, I came to the conclusion that... Greg is just kind of over the hill re: the dating scene. Whereas "He's Just..." spoke to values and self-respect (more timeless dating notions) "It's Just..." felt like trying to read dinosaur's take on the modern day world. In particular, NEEDING a call from a guy no matter what, NEEDING to be asked out by asking the guy out and then saying "question mark?", and the terrible online dating profile they put together at the end!
Probably the biggest reason I didn't like this book is the female counterpart. I remember in "He's Just Not..." thinking the woman was a little needy and desperate, but as I near 30 (eeks!), I get her perspective a bit more! Greg's wife, on the other hand, is, as we concluded at our book club "totally full of herself." I found parts of this book really mean and condescending! Amiira's "oooh you probably haven't found the One because you dress like a hooch" or "let me explain to you how CLASSY woman (like myself) act, and that's why I'm married!!!" There was definitely a holier-than-thou act going on which is really a terrible thing to put upon people who put aside time to hear your advice! I believe there were even sections that read "well, if you were that great you wouldn't be reading this book." Excuse me???
Greg is, as always, ever the compassionate and sweet guy. However, I was also disappointed in hearing about his dark past. I guess I just had this fantasy version of him laid out as this awesome person his whole life.
That being said, the first chapter or two had some interesting points about the dilution of dating quality, and I was able to finish it (though by the end it was pretty painful and I was almost gritting my teeth). Greg, you're awesome. I'm sure your wife is too... as a wife and mother. Just please don't include her in your future books.
January 9, 2010
Amazing, Amazing, Amazing. I am obsessed with Greg, even got to meet him last year. This is the kind of book that you do not want to read quickly. I really relished every single thing he said and I really wanted to take my time reading it so I could absorb all his awesome advice. I have no idea why this book was only released in Australia but it is a tragedy for all of America who can't read it. No one gives better, funnier and more true advice than Greg. No matter what kind of relationship or non relationship you are in you will find something to relate to in this book. You will recognize your faults, be proud of your strengths and make a promise to yourself to be a better you.
July 26, 2013
Teaching single people the DATING is in fact important when trying to find THE ONE. A date is just that..a date. If it goes well it could lead to a brilliant future. If it doesn't go so well...at least you'll have a funny story to tell. ;)
I related to every single chapter...and after almost a year of marriage, I am proud to say that I did it "right" with the last one. ;)
I related to every single chapter...and after almost a year of marriage, I am proud to say that I did it "right" with the last one. ;)
July 13, 2015
I picked up this book because I loved "He's Just Not That Into You," it was hilarious. With this book I found myself wishing it ended sooner. I don't know what it was that I really didn't like. They did have a lot of good suggestions about how to approach dates, especially using less intensity. Reminding (mostly women)to calm down and that most dates don't always develop into relationships. Give guys a chance because you never know if you will like them until you get to know them.
One of the problems with reading self help books is that sometimes every problem is your problem. I am sure other people feel the same way. You read about someone with a dating issue or the way the approach dating problematically; then you think 'maybe that is why I am struggling!' haha. oh well.
Overall some good suggestions a bit long in the end.
As the authors say "like yourself and know you're worthy."
One of the problems with reading self help books is that sometimes every problem is your problem. I am sure other people feel the same way. You read about someone with a dating issue or the way the approach dating problematically; then you think 'maybe that is why I am struggling!' haha. oh well.
Overall some good suggestions a bit long in the end.
As the authors say "like yourself and know you're worthy."
December 2, 2021
1.5/5, 1 if giving full stars
Let me preface this by saying I read this because I'm behind in my reading challenge and this is the shortest book I own (a gift, tyvm). The premise of this book is fine - don't put so much pressure on going on dates and figure out what you want and don't compromise on it - but the tone of the authors is so annoying and most of the book reads very preachy/sexist/outdated. I had written a long list of the horrible things they said but honestly it's not worth listing all of them out.
Of course there's some legitimate advice, but I'm so offput by the rest of it it's hard to take it all seriously. I'm also 70% sure they wrote all of the "advice letters" themselves, and the things that they want you to say to men are SO CHEESY that it's laughable. TLDR: dated (lol pun) advice, kind of sexist, do not recommend.
Let me preface this by saying I read this because I'm behind in my reading challenge and this is the shortest book I own (a gift, tyvm). The premise of this book is fine - don't put so much pressure on going on dates and figure out what you want and don't compromise on it - but the tone of the authors is so annoying and most of the book reads very preachy/sexist/outdated. I had written a long list of the horrible things they said but honestly it's not worth listing all of them out.
Of course there's some legitimate advice, but I'm so offput by the rest of it it's hard to take it all seriously. I'm also 70% sure they wrote all of the "advice letters" themselves, and the things that they want you to say to men are SO CHEESY that it's laughable. TLDR: dated (lol pun) advice, kind of sexist, do not recommend.
August 24, 2011
I enjoyed this book, but not as much as Greg’s other two books (“He’s Just not that into You” and “It’s Called a Breakup Because Its Broken”). This one was lacking in some of the cleverness and compassion of the other two books (compassion more due to the subject matter differences – less needed and central then “broken”), but it was still a very funny book full of clear, straightforward advice.
July 9, 2014
The third and last book I've read by Greg Behrendt. I can see the same type of humor he wrote into Sex & the City. This book, too, was not as good as "He's just not into you", but definitely better that the one about break-ups - just more / better jokes (or maybe it's just that I could relate better to dating issues than break-ups?).
Anyway, a light, entertaining read but I was expecting a little bit more.
Anyway, a light, entertaining read but I was expecting a little bit more.
May 1, 2012
I really LOVE how it started and I felt really inspired to get out there and be awesome and fill my life up!! Towards the end, where it talks about dating more I got a little bored. But It's good what they say about women setting the standard. That guys will just being seeing how much they can get for as little effort or commitment as possible.
February 16, 2017
Wasn't what I was expecting but nevertheless, extremely entertaining. However, one thing stands out to me: Who could possibly wait til the 8th or 9th date to have sex????? That's called being a nun.
*This was the author's recommendation.
*This was the author's recommendation.
June 9, 2019
Got it for my daughter, read it myself first. With its frankness, it's probably a good inoculation against the dating advice you would receive by osmosis if, for example, you binge-watched all of "Friends". Sometimes a third-party message is more effective in areas like this.
March 25, 2009
Funny, informative, a great help for those challenged in the dating field, an amusing read for whoever doesn't have any problems getting a date whatsoever.
March 13, 2014
As always, Greg Behrendt's words of advice are "laugh out loud hilarious" and chock full of hard-won wisdom.
Giving this one: 4 stars
Giving this one: 4 stars
July 5, 2019
Very funny and light-hearted.
March 28, 2020
I adore these geezers.
March 25, 2017
I was only reading this book for the daft letters as I am not a big fan of self help books.
August 10, 2017
Really well done. I think the advice is spot on. I think they address two of the biggest issues in dating. 1). "Standards" are too high. Really there is this list of deal breakers, and, if that's your focus, we all have them, and so you're gone. If you think overweight is a deal breaker, then you cut out perfectly healthy people who don't have a 6-pack. These people are fleeing at the slightest challenge. Now, it's good to understand that you want someone who makes good health choices, so that cuts out a habitual smoker.
2). I would almost call this no standard, as you drift in to relationship, whoever is willing to put out, and keep coming back, and you don't even like them, but you keep trying. They tend to see sleeping together too soon as part of the problem. I say, more boldly, that when you don't know what you're looking for, you hang out with someone who is OK, but doesn't really knock your socks off, and it takes you a while to figure that out. How about figuring out by spending time dating whether you really want to be with them, before diving in, becoming exclusive, even moving in? What about that!
There are books in this genre that go in to more details on things like making a profile, but their stuff here is good, and an easy read.
If you're single, you might consider this book.
2). I would almost call this no standard, as you drift in to relationship, whoever is willing to put out, and keep coming back, and you don't even like them, but you keep trying. They tend to see sleeping together too soon as part of the problem. I say, more boldly, that when you don't know what you're looking for, you hang out with someone who is OK, but doesn't really knock your socks off, and it takes you a while to figure that out. How about figuring out by spending time dating whether you really want to be with them, before diving in, becoming exclusive, even moving in? What about that!
There are books in this genre that go in to more details on things like making a profile, but their stuff here is good, and an easy read.
If you're single, you might consider this book.
June 12, 2015
I loved Greg Behrendt since I read his book, "He's Just Not That Into You." The movie adaptation, in my opinion, sucked! However, what made the book so good is that Behrendt gives such clear, concise and easy advice that I was left with the "Oh, duh!" feeling from reading it.
"It's Just a F***king Date" is the same way. Clear advice with a humorous slant. This is a how to date the right way with respect for yourself and then respect for your future partner.
I agreed with a lot of it. The dater has to know their worthy and have a fulfilling life of their own to avoid being overly needy. I enjoyed the chapter on standards vs. deal breakers. I will admit I had more deal breakers when I was younger than standards.
I liked the caveats of always remembering that it is just a date and not every date will turn into a relationship. People put a lot of pressure on themselves and sometimes it's better to go with the flow and react when needed.
Also, sexy time must be controlled if the relationship wants to develop into something more meaningful.
As udual, I enjoyed the anecdotes of Behrendt and his co-writer and wife Amiira Ruotola. They were downright hilarious. This is a must read for anybody struggling with the dating scene.
"It's Just a F***king Date" is the same way. Clear advice with a humorous slant. This is a how to date the right way with respect for yourself and then respect for your future partner.
I agreed with a lot of it. The dater has to know their worthy and have a fulfilling life of their own to avoid being overly needy. I enjoyed the chapter on standards vs. deal breakers. I will admit I had more deal breakers when I was younger than standards.
I liked the caveats of always remembering that it is just a date and not every date will turn into a relationship. People put a lot of pressure on themselves and sometimes it's better to go with the flow and react when needed.
Also, sexy time must be controlled if the relationship wants to develop into something more meaningful.
As udual, I enjoyed the anecdotes of Behrendt and his co-writer and wife Amiira Ruotola. They were downright hilarious. This is a must read for anybody struggling with the dating scene.
April 27, 2014
When I picked up this book I just knew immediately I was going to love it. Having read all of Greg's books, I was overjoyed to see him and his wife were publishing again. As I read the first few pages I found myself cracking up because after all, Greg is a comic and his wife is just as funny as he is. They make a fabulous writing team.
Even though this book is not necessarily saying anything we don't already know, most of us single folks are acting as if we really don't know what he's talking about in this book. The way they present the advice is engaging and they are spot on. They made me rethink the whole, "Think of every date as a potential life partner," quote when they said, "Almost every date you go on is not going to work out or turn into a lasting and meaningful relationship." What they said is more closely aligned with reality versus the quote I had been hearing practically my entire life.
This was one of the best relationship books I have read, EVER and I think it's because Greg & Amiira put it out there, in our face, holding back nothing and that is how we need it. I highly recommend, "It's Just a F***ing Date," for all single adults.
Even though this book is not necessarily saying anything we don't already know, most of us single folks are acting as if we really don't know what he's talking about in this book. The way they present the advice is engaging and they are spot on. They made me rethink the whole, "Think of every date as a potential life partner," quote when they said, "Almost every date you go on is not going to work out or turn into a lasting and meaningful relationship." What they said is more closely aligned with reality versus the quote I had been hearing practically my entire life.
This was one of the best relationship books I have read, EVER and I think it's because Greg & Amiira put it out there, in our face, holding back nothing and that is how we need it. I highly recommend, "It's Just a F***ing Date," for all single adults.
September 30, 2018
This book offers male and female perspectives on the art of dating. You know, getting to know someone to figure out if you might want to be exclusive and eventually settle down.
So much time today is spent “hanging out” instead of actual dates which causes confusion. It may have worked in your teens or college years, but doesn’t cut it when you’re older. At what point are you a couple?
It reinforces the message from the Steve Harvey book that what you put out there is what you get. If you’re asked to “hang out” you can state that you’re not available for that, but you are available for a date. State your standards and keep them. Don’t make yourself too available. You have a life; keep living it. If you treat yourself and your domicile with respect you let off good vibes which attract people to you. The more people you attract the more chances you have to find the one.
I liked some of the workbook sections which takes some pressure off decision-making later. These cover what to wear on specific types of dates, dates within specific budgets, and how to know whether or not a second date is a good idea.
So much time today is spent “hanging out” instead of actual dates which causes confusion. It may have worked in your teens or college years, but doesn’t cut it when you’re older. At what point are you a couple?
It reinforces the message from the Steve Harvey book that what you put out there is what you get. If you’re asked to “hang out” you can state that you’re not available for that, but you are available for a date. State your standards and keep them. Don’t make yourself too available. You have a life; keep living it. If you treat yourself and your domicile with respect you let off good vibes which attract people to you. The more people you attract the more chances you have to find the one.
I liked some of the workbook sections which takes some pressure off decision-making later. These cover what to wear on specific types of dates, dates within specific budgets, and how to know whether or not a second date is a good idea.
September 16, 2013
American get up and date motivator. Men are expected to ask women out on dates (and to know they should); at commercial venues like restaurants, men are expected to pay - aimed at heterosexual women readers with the goal of a serious, long-term relationship. The writing is chatty, suitable if you like a good read.
Accounts of dating from both sexes help you understand the thinking of daters. There are interactive sections after each chapter where you get to think about the advice in your own life by answering questions.
The examples (in the fun test) of standards vs dealbreakers seemed more arbitrary than the preceding section's explanation that standards are about how you are treated whereas dealbreakers are arbitrary and shortsighted limits on who you will date.
Holding up dates as the sine qua non of courting doesn't agree with the title.
Accounts of dating from both sexes help you understand the thinking of daters. There are interactive sections after each chapter where you get to think about the advice in your own life by answering questions.
The examples (in the fun test) of standards vs dealbreakers seemed more arbitrary than the preceding section's explanation that standards are about how you are treated whereas dealbreakers are arbitrary and shortsighted limits on who you will date.
Holding up dates as the sine qua non of courting doesn't agree with the title.
November 21, 2013
Another no-nonsense, it should be common sense but sometimes you just need to hear the truth-esque book from the author of He's Just Not That Into You. I enjoy reading Greg's books as his approach makes me laugh, but also opens my eyes to "oh no wait a second I do that!" Now that I can spot the guys who are just not that into me, it was nice to read about how dates should not be auditions or how not to "give it up" right away. This book coincided with me starting to date a man who is now my boyfriend, so it helped me to hide my crazy and just have fun. Highly recommend to all the singles out there who are ready to jump back into the dating world!
I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
September 23, 2013
"A fun and funny guide to dating from the New York Times bestselling authors of IT'S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT'S BROKEN and HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." That advertising blurb is just the tip of the iceberg evidently. The authors left some questions out there after the first two books, and this book is a compilation of those questions and answers. But, oh this book is so much more! I couldn't stop laughing and marveling at the simplicity of the theories presented.
TIL (today I learned) that it just doesn't have to be so hard. Dating and relationships are easier than we thought - you just need to use the right tools.
*I received my copy from NetGalley.com in exchange for an honest review.
TIL (today I learned) that it just doesn't have to be so hard. Dating and relationships are easier than we thought - you just need to use the right tools.
*I received my copy from NetGalley.com in exchange for an honest review.
June 16, 2015
-- NO SPOIL --
Having already read "It's called a breakup because it's broken" and "He's just not that into you" before, I knew I was in for a treat again.
Funny at times, small stories about dating disasters, and to-do lists, make it all a very easy read! However, it doesn't mean it's not "serious", it will make you think and inspire you to work on certain aspects.
I really like his/her point of view, something a very good friend or family member would tell you. Down to earth, the advice given reflects "old-school" dating, something which has gotten a bit lost nowadays sadly. But worry not, this book will gladly remind you how it should be done correctly, because you're totally worth it. :)
Having already read "It's called a breakup because it's broken" and "He's just not that into you" before, I knew I was in for a treat again.
Funny at times, small stories about dating disasters, and to-do lists, make it all a very easy read! However, it doesn't mean it's not "serious", it will make you think and inspire you to work on certain aspects.
I really like his/her point of view, something a very good friend or family member would tell you. Down to earth, the advice given reflects "old-school" dating, something which has gotten a bit lost nowadays sadly. But worry not, this book will gladly remind you how it should be done correctly, because you're totally worth it. :)
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