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When to Speak Up and When To Shut Up
Almost everyone has found themselves in a situation where they don't know if they should bite their tongue or speak their mind. When is silence golden and when is it better to speak up?
When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up offers practical guidelines for people who want to improve their communication skills. It will help readers explore the cost and purpose of silence, how to ask good questions, how to overcome pressure to remain silent, and more. Using biblical and contemporary examples, this book shares important strategies for discerning God's direction, acting on his word, and building better communication within your workplace, church, and home.
When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up offers practical guidelines for people who want to improve their communication skills. It will help readers explore the cost and purpose of silence, how to ask good questions, how to overcome pressure to remain silent, and more. Using biblical and contemporary examples, this book shares important strategies for discerning God's direction, acting on his word, and building better communication within your workplace, church, and home.
162 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2003
192 people are currently reading
773 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
March 21, 2016
I did not know this was such a religious text, not what I was looking for
May 3, 2014
I respected and appreciated what the message of this book was and I loved the parables of supposed real world situations, but I found myself bogged down from the scripture.
That being said, I have learned a great deal from this book, considering that I am by nature a “speak now and take no prisoners” type of person; I have had to learn how to rein myself in now that I am the parent of two adult children. I have had to learn that at this stage of my life, parenting is walking a tightrope. You are on a very fine edge of saying too much and not saying enough.
As I have taken my time with the book, it is surprising how many times I have just read a section and then I am confronted by a situation that was just discussed. Timely is a bit of an overstatement, so let’s just say that I needed this book more than I thought I would.
Each chapter ends with questions as a way to reinforce what was covered, but also for me, an additional learning tool as to why I respond the way I do.
This is going to be one of those keep on the shelf books that I will need to pull down from time to time to sustain the lessons learned. You will not get it all in one sitting and as you change and your situations change, we all could use a refresher on when and why to speak up and to base this on good decision making.
That being said, I have learned a great deal from this book, considering that I am by nature a “speak now and take no prisoners” type of person; I have had to learn how to rein myself in now that I am the parent of two adult children. I have had to learn that at this stage of my life, parenting is walking a tightrope. You are on a very fine edge of saying too much and not saying enough.
As I have taken my time with the book, it is surprising how many times I have just read a section and then I am confronted by a situation that was just discussed. Timely is a bit of an overstatement, so let’s just say that I needed this book more than I thought I would.
Each chapter ends with questions as a way to reinforce what was covered, but also for me, an additional learning tool as to why I respond the way I do.
This is going to be one of those keep on the shelf books that I will need to pull down from time to time to sustain the lessons learned. You will not get it all in one sitting and as you change and your situations change, we all could use a refresher on when and why to speak up and to base this on good decision making.
May 17, 2025
This book has such awesome insight and is so convicting.
September 30, 2017
I enjoyed the beginning chapters that focused on how Jesus "spoke up or shut up" using examples from scripture. But the middle of this book was slow and talked a lot about how to respond in work related situations which doesn't apply to me. I thoroughly enjoyed his personal testimony at the end of the book!
December 31, 2016
The author offered some interesting insights regarding communication. The focus of the book is on when it is best to speak up vs. silence.
The author originally grew up in a Jewish household and as an adult converted to Christianity despite his parent's objections. His family hoped he would be a lawyer but he opted to become a social worker instead. Later in life, he did Christian ministry work and motivational speaking.
I thought he had some interesting and thoughtful comments re: communication. He appears to have worked hard at creating peace with his parents and family himself.
The author originally grew up in a Jewish household and as an adult converted to Christianity despite his parent's objections. His family hoped he would be a lawyer but he opted to become a social worker instead. Later in life, he did Christian ministry work and motivational speaking.
I thought he had some interesting and thoughtful comments re: communication. He appears to have worked hard at creating peace with his parents and family himself.
September 3, 2017
Michael Sedler has been a social worker. He writes about when it might be a good time to speak up and when it might be wise to be silent. He has also been a minister, so in this book, for explanation, he uses stories from the Bible as well as contemporary stories based on his own experiences in his life. This is a very good book which I will be passing on to others and hopefully it will help them as well.
July 23, 2014
good read - good advice - practical approach to decisive issues
September 4, 2025
My takeaways from the book:
When you speak, what is your motive? Is it to fulfill a personal agenda or to genuinely help?
You can add your perspective without the need to convince people of it
Ask many questions before giving an opinion on something you are not completely familiar with
Saying something is one thing, the timing of it is another
Fight the problem, not the people
Don’t overly justify - “this is just the way I see it”
Present your alternative idea or concern, but respect whatever the outcome is
Ask questions without a questioning attitude
Let silence speak for you when appropriate
And my favorite part of the whole book.. a poem about a boy running a race (falling on his face repeatedly and coming in last place, but being told by his father that because he did not give up, he won). It ended with
“For all of life is like that race, ups and downs and all,
And all of you have to do to win, is rise each time you fall”
When you speak, what is your motive? Is it to fulfill a personal agenda or to genuinely help?
You can add your perspective without the need to convince people of it
Ask many questions before giving an opinion on something you are not completely familiar with
Saying something is one thing, the timing of it is another
Fight the problem, not the people
Don’t overly justify - “this is just the way I see it”
Present your alternative idea or concern, but respect whatever the outcome is
Ask questions without a questioning attitude
Let silence speak for you when appropriate
And my favorite part of the whole book.. a poem about a boy running a race (falling on his face repeatedly and coming in last place, but being told by his father that because he did not give up, he won). It ended with
“For all of life is like that race, ups and downs and all,
And all of you have to do to win, is rise each time you fall”
June 8, 2020
This book has a sustainable amount of information for individuals who really desire to have two-way communication within any relationship. It provides a tremendous amount of biblical examples of when one should have not spoken and when one should have spoken up. It’s a great read if you desire to change bad communication habits or just improve your communication with friends, family, co-workers, or children.
September 12, 2020
I started this book hoping to get guidance on how to be less blunt or better yet be more silent. Surprisingly, it confirmed that I should speak up on certain matters and it taught me how and when to do it. It also explained why certain situations do require silence and how to discern which ones. I will most likely reread certain parts of this book in the near future because I found the content applicable.
December 7, 2018
Truly amazing book on gaining wisdom about when to speak and when to stay silent. How prayers can be important to stay true to one's values and beliefs. Author shares many strategies to speak up & being silent. He also shared his personal experience where he converted from Judaism to Christianity without the support from his family. Highly recommended for spiritual seekers.
January 3, 2022
Very religious, bible oriented book. 2 stars is because there is some sensible advice, but where it could be useful, it delves deep into biblical context and personal stories from the author's church community.
You would get much more out of your time by reading another book such as "the assertiveness woorkbook", instead of this superficial, religious oriented one.
You would get much more out of your time by reading another book such as "the assertiveness woorkbook", instead of this superficial, religious oriented one.
June 20, 2024
I enjoyed the different avenues Sedler used to explain the power of silence and speaking up. It does have an abundance of biblical references.
The information gather should be common knowledge but does give a straight forward account of practice communication skills and a little bit listening skillsm
The information gather should be common knowledge but does give a straight forward account of practice communication skills and a little bit listening skillsm
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 25, 2024
something rare
The book does something rare, perhaps even unique. It provides guidance for communication from a Christian (biblical) perspective with examples that are immediately relatable to people of faith.
The book does something rare, perhaps even unique. It provides guidance for communication from a Christian (biblical) perspective with examples that are immediately relatable to people of faith.
March 16, 2017
It was an okay book. Audio version was a little strange. Also, the illustrations from the Bible weren't always the greatest, like they were trying too hard to make the point match the concept.
September 12, 2017
It was ok. I won't read it again and probably won't recommend it to anyone.
August 13, 2018
A true book full of wisdom
I truly recommend this book to all who want to know when it’s best to remain silent or to speak!!!!
I truly recommend this book to all who want to know when it’s best to remain silent or to speak!!!!
January 19, 2020
Heavily religious. Not good for business or broader social application.
Read
January 30, 2020great book
February 29, 2020
Wonderful book on communication. I especially appreciated the Biblical references
May 17, 2020
Interesting book to read for people struggling with communication. Personally it gave me a lot of insight on having the right conversations with people and up to now I refer to this book
October 8, 2020
Heavy religious references.
January 12, 2021
DNF - only made it through about 50 pages, couldn't handle the religious passages and context. Not at all what I was expecting from this read.
July 2, 2021
A little preachy at some parts, but still a validating read
August 31, 2022
I don't recall downloading this, but it's got a Christian bent, so bye.
March 22, 2016
Years ago I made a promise to myself not to give up on life for lack of courage. Courage involves things like trying something different to keep growing; being available to my family (and to others) even when it hurt; finishing the race one step at a time—even if the race is a marathon. Courage—often it has meant being fully present in my own life when important words are spoken. So when I ran across Michael D. Sedler’s book, When to Speak Up & When to Shut Up, I knew that I needed to order a copy.
What does it mean to be fully present in our own lives?
After recounting a marriage counseling session where he [as the counselor] let himself down for not speaking up and defending his own values, Sedler writes:
“This truly is a book about love . . . loving one another enough to understand when we should remain silent and when we should speak…” (16)[1]
He further observes that:
“Our very lives, both physical and spiritual, depend upon our ability and willingness to speak out at the proper moment. And by the same token, silence can bring pain, destruction, and the inevitable onslaught of sin.” (16)
This onslaught of sin is not a throwaway comment; Sedler asks: “Was the ‘original sin’ Eve’s eating the forbidden fruit or was it Adam’s silence while his wife was deceived?” (21) Phrased in this way, Eve can be seen transgressing (doing bad) the law of God while Adam committed iniquity (failure to do good)—technically, both are sins.
An important lesson that Sedler offers comes from the story of David and Goliath found in the first book of Samuel, chapter 17. In the ancient world where battles were crudely fought and carried a horrible penalty for all involved, it was common to delegate the battle to a champion who fought on behalf of the entire nation. The Philistine champion was a giant named Goliath and he made this proposal:
“He stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us." (1 Sam 17:8-9 ESV)
No one in the army of Israel dared to fight him, except for a young shepherd boy named David (1 Sam 17:32).
Sedler sees 4 principles for speaking up or remaining silent in David’s response to Goliath that enabled him to gain the confidence of King Saul who allowed him to become Israel’s champion. These principles are:
David was prepared (30). As a shepherd, David had battled with bears and lions in protecting his father’s sheep (1 San 17:34-36)
1. David had a servant heart (33). Today we would say that he had a great attitude—he wanted to encourage his brothers, serve King Saul, and honor God.
2. David asked questions (34). In preparing to battle Goliath, he asked others about the situation and checked out the reason for their fears.
3. David concentrated on the problem (Goliath’s challenge), not on criticizing his brothers who appeared to lack courage (37).
4. David was not trying to show off and worked to encourage his brothers (1 Sam 17:45, 47).
What Sedler sees in this account of David and Goliath is that David was a problem-solver and a team player. He was also courageous—he spoke up and stood his ground.
Standing up to giants is one thing, but silence can also be golden. Sedler suggests asking a few questions in contemplating silence:
1. Why am I silent?
2. What is my motivation—is it of God?
3. Will silence further God’s kingdom, clarify the issue, or allow me or others to grow?
4. Am I second-guessing myself?
5. Did I suppress the urge to speak? If so, why? (92)
Here again we see Sedler engaging in problem solving and reflection in his decision process rather than reacting hastily.
Sedler describes himself as an ordained pastor, consultant, and adjunct professor at several universities. His degrees are in political science (BA), social work (MS), and ministry (DMin). He has also taught public school and has a Jewish background.[2] He lives and works in Spokane, Washington. Sedler writes in 10 chapters:
1. Never Again,
2. When Silence Isn’t Golden,
3. A Kingly Voice,
4. Communication Breakdown,
5. A Question of Authority,
6. The Code of Silence,
7. The Purpose of Silence,
8. Walking in Peace,
9. Taking a Stand,
10. Winning the Race (7).
The appendix recounts the story of Sedler’s conversion to Christianity at age 22.
Michael D. Sedler’s When to Speak Up & When to Shut Up is a short (156 pages with appendix), accessible, and an interesting read. He targets a Christian audience. Small groups might find this book a helpful resource in discussion.
[1]Later, he cites the wisdom of Solomon: [there is] “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eccl 3:7; 17)
[2] http://www.MichaelSedler.com.
What does it mean to be fully present in our own lives?
After recounting a marriage counseling session where he [as the counselor] let himself down for not speaking up and defending his own values, Sedler writes:
“This truly is a book about love . . . loving one another enough to understand when we should remain silent and when we should speak…” (16)[1]
He further observes that:
“Our very lives, both physical and spiritual, depend upon our ability and willingness to speak out at the proper moment. And by the same token, silence can bring pain, destruction, and the inevitable onslaught of sin.” (16)
This onslaught of sin is not a throwaway comment; Sedler asks: “Was the ‘original sin’ Eve’s eating the forbidden fruit or was it Adam’s silence while his wife was deceived?” (21) Phrased in this way, Eve can be seen transgressing (doing bad) the law of God while Adam committed iniquity (failure to do good)—technically, both are sins.
An important lesson that Sedler offers comes from the story of David and Goliath found in the first book of Samuel, chapter 17. In the ancient world where battles were crudely fought and carried a horrible penalty for all involved, it was common to delegate the battle to a champion who fought on behalf of the entire nation. The Philistine champion was a giant named Goliath and he made this proposal:
“He stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us." (1 Sam 17:8-9 ESV)
No one in the army of Israel dared to fight him, except for a young shepherd boy named David (1 Sam 17:32).
Sedler sees 4 principles for speaking up or remaining silent in David’s response to Goliath that enabled him to gain the confidence of King Saul who allowed him to become Israel’s champion. These principles are:
David was prepared (30). As a shepherd, David had battled with bears and lions in protecting his father’s sheep (1 San 17:34-36)
1. David had a servant heart (33). Today we would say that he had a great attitude—he wanted to encourage his brothers, serve King Saul, and honor God.
2. David asked questions (34). In preparing to battle Goliath, he asked others about the situation and checked out the reason for their fears.
3. David concentrated on the problem (Goliath’s challenge), not on criticizing his brothers who appeared to lack courage (37).
4. David was not trying to show off and worked to encourage his brothers (1 Sam 17:45, 47).
What Sedler sees in this account of David and Goliath is that David was a problem-solver and a team player. He was also courageous—he spoke up and stood his ground.
Standing up to giants is one thing, but silence can also be golden. Sedler suggests asking a few questions in contemplating silence:
1. Why am I silent?
2. What is my motivation—is it of God?
3. Will silence further God’s kingdom, clarify the issue, or allow me or others to grow?
4. Am I second-guessing myself?
5. Did I suppress the urge to speak? If so, why? (92)
Here again we see Sedler engaging in problem solving and reflection in his decision process rather than reacting hastily.
Sedler describes himself as an ordained pastor, consultant, and adjunct professor at several universities. His degrees are in political science (BA), social work (MS), and ministry (DMin). He has also taught public school and has a Jewish background.[2] He lives and works in Spokane, Washington. Sedler writes in 10 chapters:
1. Never Again,
2. When Silence Isn’t Golden,
3. A Kingly Voice,
4. Communication Breakdown,
5. A Question of Authority,
6. The Code of Silence,
7. The Purpose of Silence,
8. Walking in Peace,
9. Taking a Stand,
10. Winning the Race (7).
The appendix recounts the story of Sedler’s conversion to Christianity at age 22.
Michael D. Sedler’s When to Speak Up & When to Shut Up is a short (156 pages with appendix), accessible, and an interesting read. He targets a Christian audience. Small groups might find this book a helpful resource in discussion.
[1]Later, he cites the wisdom of Solomon: [there is] “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eccl 3:7; 17)
[2] http://www.MichaelSedler.com.
October 22, 2012
Would it be too forward of me to say, every Christian should read this book? Well let me take it one further, then. I think everybody should read this book if they have a mouth and intend to use it. Dr. Michael Sedler has clearly and sensitively articulated guidelines, steps and practical solutions for using that tiny little member of the body called the tongue in a manner which fosters growth, understanding and clarity. The title of the book absolutely grabbed me, but then it also delivered. The principles that are shared in this book are simple, concise and powerful. The examples he gives are authentic and he goes on to share not only wisdom but a few personal hard earned and learned lessons.
The opening dedication of the book includes this statement: "I pray this book will encourage each reader to be a to be a voice in the wilderness of life: a voice of reason, of passion, of encouragement of leadership, but most of all, of love and grace." I believe Dr. Sedler does a good job of communicating, coaching and exhorting how to make this happen in real life.
Some of the topics covered (listed on back of book):
• the cost and purpose of silence
• why to check motives when talking to friends, family and authorities
• how to ask good questions
• ways to deal with anger and resentment
• how to overcome pressure to remain silent
Drawing directly from specific instances in Scripture and the lives of well known Bible figures, he extracts useful directives which we can concretely put into action in our own lives. I loved the examples of communication effectively or ineffectively explored with reference to David, Abraham, Nicodemus, and Jesus. I also appreciated his use of other examples from history and his professional and personal life.
At the end of every chapter there is a "One Final Thought..." which captures the essence of the take home for personal application. This is followed by two pointed questions for personal reflection. Just enough to bring it home! One of these from the end of Chapter 9 really stood out to me and reflects the power of these brief but well thought out statements. It says, " Before approaching an individual regarding a problem or area of frustration, take the time to pray and be sure you have a right spirit. If you do not have time to pray, you do not have time to communicate with others. (emphasis mine!) Talk about a take home lesson which would benefit all of us!
I appreciated how he also pulled from the pages of history to make the points about speaking out and keeping silent and the impact to others. Dr. Martin Luther King, Corrie, Ten Boom, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Churchill as well as Hitler, Stalin, Khomeini and bin Laden. We see the power and possibility expressed when people speak out for good or evil. We see the importance of wisdom, courage and hope that must speak out for truth and what happens when fear silences the voice of righteousness and reason.
I found this book to be one of the best I have ever read on communication, and highly recommend it.
Not only does Dr. Sedler have a clear grasp on scripture and a background in Social Work, he is an Ordained Minister with varied experience which shines through in this work. In addition to all this his own personal testimony is an inspiring journey of one Jewish man's pilgrimage for truth. I so appreciate hearing ho God reveals himself to individuals and Michael Sedler share his journey and conclusion in the final section of this book.
Simply put, you will not regret owning your own copy of When To Speak Up & When To Shut Up - Principles for Conversations You Won't Regret.
Visit the author's website: www.michalesedler.com
I received a copy of this book from Chosen Books in return for a Review.
All opinions expressed are my own.
The opening dedication of the book includes this statement: "I pray this book will encourage each reader to be a to be a voice in the wilderness of life: a voice of reason, of passion, of encouragement of leadership, but most of all, of love and grace." I believe Dr. Sedler does a good job of communicating, coaching and exhorting how to make this happen in real life.
Some of the topics covered (listed on back of book):
• the cost and purpose of silence
• why to check motives when talking to friends, family and authorities
• how to ask good questions
• ways to deal with anger and resentment
• how to overcome pressure to remain silent
Drawing directly from specific instances in Scripture and the lives of well known Bible figures, he extracts useful directives which we can concretely put into action in our own lives. I loved the examples of communication effectively or ineffectively explored with reference to David, Abraham, Nicodemus, and Jesus. I also appreciated his use of other examples from history and his professional and personal life.
At the end of every chapter there is a "One Final Thought..." which captures the essence of the take home for personal application. This is followed by two pointed questions for personal reflection. Just enough to bring it home! One of these from the end of Chapter 9 really stood out to me and reflects the power of these brief but well thought out statements. It says, " Before approaching an individual regarding a problem or area of frustration, take the time to pray and be sure you have a right spirit. If you do not have time to pray, you do not have time to communicate with others. (emphasis mine!) Talk about a take home lesson which would benefit all of us!
I appreciated how he also pulled from the pages of history to make the points about speaking out and keeping silent and the impact to others. Dr. Martin Luther King, Corrie, Ten Boom, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Churchill as well as Hitler, Stalin, Khomeini and bin Laden. We see the power and possibility expressed when people speak out for good or evil. We see the importance of wisdom, courage and hope that must speak out for truth and what happens when fear silences the voice of righteousness and reason.
I found this book to be one of the best I have ever read on communication, and highly recommend it.
Not only does Dr. Sedler have a clear grasp on scripture and a background in Social Work, he is an Ordained Minister with varied experience which shines through in this work. In addition to all this his own personal testimony is an inspiring journey of one Jewish man's pilgrimage for truth. I so appreciate hearing ho God reveals himself to individuals and Michael Sedler share his journey and conclusion in the final section of this book.
Simply put, you will not regret owning your own copy of When To Speak Up & When To Shut Up - Principles for Conversations You Won't Regret.
Visit the author's website: www.michalesedler.com
I received a copy of this book from Chosen Books in return for a Review.
All opinions expressed are my own.
November 8, 2012
When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up was written to direct readers on learning when to speak up about certain situations and when you should keep quiet. One of the many issues we have in speaking up and stating what we are thinking is we make excuses. We often allow fear to dominate our lives and we hold back when we need to use our mouths. Sometimes we even go so far as to remind ourselves that we have nothing to contribute to the conversations. The book gave tips on how to converse our concerns and problems to people in authority.
Dr. Michael D. Sedler explored the Biblical background of Adam and Eve, in vast depth. Satan tricked Eve into compromising and eating the forbidden fruit. He told her that she wouldn’t die and she would become like God and have all knowledge of good and evil. Eve handed the forbidden fruit to her husband, Adam. He also consumed the fruit knowing he shouldn’t have done so. This is a classic example, beginning at the beginning of time, and it still occurs today. Many of us stay silence when we need to speak up. Then when God confronted Adam he blamed his actions on Eve. How many of us try to place the blame on someone else?
The book covered “Conversation Guidelines” which I personally thought was very beneficial to readers to take a look at. He told business leaders to be open to engage and listening to their employees concerns. Next, he discussed the importance in marriage and having effective communication regularly to prevent unnecessary hidden hurts and resentments from occurring. Many times children complain that we weren’t listening to them fully. When our children are sharing their hearts we must stop what we are doing and listen. He also shared about letting your children have their own opinions about life and be willing to listen, even if you disagree with their stance on some certain things. I think this is a magnificent concept I must follow when I have my own children.
I would recommend this brilliant book to anyone who struggles to state their opinions because they are insecure and afraid of what others might think of something they say. They are allowing fear to control them and this book will show readers how to break free. This book is also for the readers who have a hard time not being quiet and letting others speak and share what’s on their heart. If readers put these life principles into their lives, they will be able to communicate more freely and effectively with their spouse, children, parents, supervisor, church members, and relationships with others. This book has taught me how to handle and discuss concerns with authority figures. If you’re looking to enhance and improve how you communicate with others, then this book is for you!
“I received this book free from the publisher through the Bethany House Publishers/ Chosen book review bloggers program.”
Dr. Michael D. Sedler explored the Biblical background of Adam and Eve, in vast depth. Satan tricked Eve into compromising and eating the forbidden fruit. He told her that she wouldn’t die and she would become like God and have all knowledge of good and evil. Eve handed the forbidden fruit to her husband, Adam. He also consumed the fruit knowing he shouldn’t have done so. This is a classic example, beginning at the beginning of time, and it still occurs today. Many of us stay silence when we need to speak up. Then when God confronted Adam he blamed his actions on Eve. How many of us try to place the blame on someone else?
The book covered “Conversation Guidelines” which I personally thought was very beneficial to readers to take a look at. He told business leaders to be open to engage and listening to their employees concerns. Next, he discussed the importance in marriage and having effective communication regularly to prevent unnecessary hidden hurts and resentments from occurring. Many times children complain that we weren’t listening to them fully. When our children are sharing their hearts we must stop what we are doing and listen. He also shared about letting your children have their own opinions about life and be willing to listen, even if you disagree with their stance on some certain things. I think this is a magnificent concept I must follow when I have my own children.
I would recommend this brilliant book to anyone who struggles to state their opinions because they are insecure and afraid of what others might think of something they say. They are allowing fear to control them and this book will show readers how to break free. This book is also for the readers who have a hard time not being quiet and letting others speak and share what’s on their heart. If readers put these life principles into their lives, they will be able to communicate more freely and effectively with their spouse, children, parents, supervisor, church members, and relationships with others. This book has taught me how to handle and discuss concerns with authority figures. If you’re looking to enhance and improve how you communicate with others, then this book is for you!
“I received this book free from the publisher through the Bethany House Publishers/ Chosen book review bloggers program.”
January 12, 2013
Have you ever been in a position that you are being accused of something that simply isn’t true? The typical response is defend yourself and resort to saying things that may make the situation even worse. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another. How hard it is to keep one’s mouth shut. But, if we do, the truth will ultimately come out. To be able to hold your tongue and state the fact that you did or did not do something, takes great skill. Or, if you are completely silent that can create problems too. When you know someone is saying untrue statements about you and then you stay silent, there’s a tendency to build up stress/tension. Then one day, you simply cannot take it any longer and a fight ensues.
Dr. Michael D. Sedler is transparent in his book and gives examples in his own life where he should have kept silent but didn’t. Or, how he should of handled a situation just a little bit differently. I respect him that he was honest with his own mishaps. It all comes down to pride. We don’t want to be wrong. We want others to see it our way. In addition, he gives specific biblical examples and how it can be applied to our lives.
In today’s workplace, there seems to be more stress than ever before. I cannot tell you how many people that I know that say that they are unhappy with their jobs in one form or another. The most common reason is never money. It usually has to do with someone that they work with and usually that person is an authoritative figure. The Supervisor may not be professional. He/She may even be a bully. How do you handle that? The bully will keep pestering until finally the employee blows. In fact, that’s what they are waiting for. You would think that they would be professional. After all, the person was placed in a management type position. Unfortunately, many people placed in those positions abuse their authority. They may yell or make demands rather than taking the time to sit down with the employee and discuss the issue at hand.
This is a great book for absolutely everyone. No one is perfect! We all speak our minds when we shouldn’t and vise versa. This applies to all facets of life whether it’s the workplace, church, or even family. This is book to be read over and over until it’s sunk into your brain and into your heart.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to give a positive review.
Dr. Michael D. Sedler is transparent in his book and gives examples in his own life where he should have kept silent but didn’t. Or, how he should of handled a situation just a little bit differently. I respect him that he was honest with his own mishaps. It all comes down to pride. We don’t want to be wrong. We want others to see it our way. In addition, he gives specific biblical examples and how it can be applied to our lives.
In today’s workplace, there seems to be more stress than ever before. I cannot tell you how many people that I know that say that they are unhappy with their jobs in one form or another. The most common reason is never money. It usually has to do with someone that they work with and usually that person is an authoritative figure. The Supervisor may not be professional. He/She may even be a bully. How do you handle that? The bully will keep pestering until finally the employee blows. In fact, that’s what they are waiting for. You would think that they would be professional. After all, the person was placed in a management type position. Unfortunately, many people placed in those positions abuse their authority. They may yell or make demands rather than taking the time to sit down with the employee and discuss the issue at hand.
This is a great book for absolutely everyone. No one is perfect! We all speak our minds when we shouldn’t and vise versa. This applies to all facets of life whether it’s the workplace, church, or even family. This is book to be read over and over until it’s sunk into your brain and into your heart.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to give a positive review.
March 8, 2011
When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up will help you know when it is better to speak or remain silent by teaching through biblical stories, personal stories, and historical examples.
At first, I didn’t know it was Christian book until I started reading the book, but I’ll tell you this, I found this book much tolerable than the 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, which was a bit more religious than I could stomach. Anyways, I found this book much more helpful and tolerable than the other book on how to tame your tongue. This book is like a chapter in 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, but a much better version with actual help for non-religious people or non-Christians in it. :)
Unlike 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, instead of just giving a biblical passage, this book gives the passage from whatever (personal, biblical, or historical) then explains (or psychoanalyzes) what he thinks it means, how to use it in your life, and questions to ask yourself. This book also has more personal and historical examples than the other book, so it isn’t just biblical stories the author gives examples on.
Another thing I like about it is if you aren’t as fanatic-religious as the other author is, you can read this book and not be drawn into the zombie like persuasion of “COME BE A CHRISTIAN, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE”. This book may have a little of that, but it isn’t as noticeable as the other book — or as annoying. The tone of this book is much more gentle and makes anyone feel welcome — I think even people of different religions can read this and use it in their lives, just tune out the parts about Christian religion.
Go ahead and read it. If you aren’t religious, you can ignore the pray parts and substitute it with “think about it”, “ask for advice”, or something along those lines. It has the perfect balance between for anyone who’s not that religious and for people who might be too religious. :D
Out of the three books I got, I found this one and Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People to be the most helpful and insightful. If this is how all the help books this publisher publishes are, I think I will order all the help books I need from them. :X
Oh, one last thing, this author has another book like this, but it is mostly about gossiping and things like that. I don’t know if I will read it or not, so, we’ll see. ;)
At first, I didn’t know it was Christian book until I started reading the book, but I’ll tell you this, I found this book much tolerable than the 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, which was a bit more religious than I could stomach. Anyways, I found this book much more helpful and tolerable than the other book on how to tame your tongue. This book is like a chapter in 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, but a much better version with actual help for non-religious people or non-Christians in it. :)
Unlike 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue, instead of just giving a biblical passage, this book gives the passage from whatever (personal, biblical, or historical) then explains (or psychoanalyzes) what he thinks it means, how to use it in your life, and questions to ask yourself. This book also has more personal and historical examples than the other book, so it isn’t just biblical stories the author gives examples on.
Another thing I like about it is if you aren’t as fanatic-religious as the other author is, you can read this book and not be drawn into the zombie like persuasion of “COME BE A CHRISTIAN, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE”. This book may have a little of that, but it isn’t as noticeable as the other book — or as annoying. The tone of this book is much more gentle and makes anyone feel welcome — I think even people of different religions can read this and use it in their lives, just tune out the parts about Christian religion.
Go ahead and read it. If you aren’t religious, you can ignore the pray parts and substitute it with “think about it”, “ask for advice”, or something along those lines. It has the perfect balance between for anyone who’s not that religious and for people who might be too religious. :D
Out of the three books I got, I found this one and Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People to be the most helpful and insightful. If this is how all the help books this publisher publishes are, I think I will order all the help books I need from them. :X
Oh, one last thing, this author has another book like this, but it is mostly about gossiping and things like that. I don’t know if I will read it or not, so, we’ll see. ;)
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