Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents

by Betsy Brown Braun

Οι γονείς πολύ συχνά νιώθουν αμήχανοι μπροστά στις αναπόφευκτες ερωτήσεις των παιδιών τους και ανήμποροι να αντιδράσουν απέναντι σε κάποιες πολύ συνηθισμένες συμπεριφορές. Αυτό το πρακτικό και εύχρηστο βιβλίο που κρατάτε στα χέρια σας περιλαμβάνει συμβουλές και οδηγίες αντιμετώπισης των πιο σημαντικών προβλημάτων που έχουν να κάνουν με τα παιδιά σας: από τους αδελφικούς καβγάδες και τις διατροφικές προτιμήσεις μέχρι τις περιβόητες ερωτήσεις για το θάνατο, το διαζύγιο, το σεξ, καθώς και τα επαναλαμβανόμενα "γιατί, μαμά;" και "γιατί, μπαμπά;" τα οποία ακούν νυχθημερόν οι γονείς. (...)

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Psychology, Teaching, Adult, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

Published February 19, 2008

Reviews

[La Crosse County Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review originally published March 2009

Parents of children two to six years of age need real, hands-on, just-give-it-to-me-straight, help.

Parenting is not only physically exhausting but physically demanding. Just Tell Me What to Say, by Betsy Brown Braun, will help you when your child throws tantrums, fights with siblings, and picks at his food. You are in good company if your child is a picky eater. Experts say that possibly half of all two-year olds fall into this category.

Some tips to help deal with picky eaters include offering a few choices, not many; placing a new food on a separate plate away from the child. Maybe serve food in special ways, such as pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse.

Whining, swearing, talking back, burping, and worrying when bad things happen (illness in families, war, terrorism) are some of the subjects covered. As a member of the family, your child deserves to be told when serious illness strikes. The author suggests that you enlist the help of a close friend, pastor, or another parent.

Be hopeful, and you, as the parent, should tell the child when you decide it is the best time for both of you. It may be during bath time or driving in the car, but not before school or bedtime. You need to be there to answer questions.

Many parenting books are available at the La Crosse County Library in Bangor, Campbell, Holmen, Onalaska, and West Salem.

Find this book and other titles within our catalog.

[Kjersti · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was pretty good and had an easy to navigate format. Some advice was outright silly like plan family vacations because no one will fight at Disneyland. That one literally made me laugh out loud. But most everything else was practical and helpful, and I really appreciated the scripts provided.

[Holly Hillard · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some chapters that weren’t applicable to our situation (divorce, serious illness, sibling drama) so I skipped those. I found some of the tips and scripts really helpful- especially the ones about getting dressed and ready in the mornings. Others didn’t seem as useful. I checked this one out from the library, but I think it’d be better to have a reference book that I can keep on my shelf.

[Emily Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated the format of this book. Very practical with situational examples on how to talk to your children at an age appropriate level. Thankful that when I talk to my kids about death it won’t be with the finality that this author describes!

[Ethan Decker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one was a savior. I actually photocopied a chapter or two to hand out to my friends. (I think it was the Its Not Fair! one.) Some parts were stronger than others, and some weren't as needed for us (talking about death wasn't a hurdle for us.) But the gems were soooo worth it.

[Melissa Reagan Love · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of folded pages when you complete a book are a good sign that this is a keeper chock full of good advice!

[Purplenixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read a lot of parenting books. I liked this one because it was straight forward and concise. Good advise (stay calm, logical consequences, get down on the child's level to communicate).

[Kathleen K]

Made it 63% then got bored and stopped reading it

[Kelsey Steveley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parenting script

Would not recommend this book as a whole. There are topics that should not be discussed with kids and inadequate handling of others.

[Khansa Khaerunnisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was a good book too, but has a lil bit confusing explanation. but the description are so good.

[Nate Morse · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read for parents of kids between the ages of 2 and 6. It deals with communication, discipline and how to answer those difficult questions that kids have between those ages. I skipped a few chapters on topics that have not come up yet like Divorce and Serious Illness, but I did read the ones on Death, Sex (Where do Babies come from?) and Natural Disasters.

I would recommend this book based off the first to chapters about communication and discipline. The author talks about how not to just deal out punishments, but to instead deal with consequences. An example of how I applied this philosophy with my kid, She was told not to jump on the bed or she would not be able to sing goodnight to her little brother. She didn't listen and so the consequence was no bedtime routine. She wailed and screamed and my favorite... asked me to take all consequences away. We didn't give in and the next couple bedtimes we have had no issues with not listening.

The book also gives some good strategies to discussing those hard to talk about subjects. I"m sure I will be referring to it at a later time for other topics as they come up.

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is by far the best parenting book I have read geared towards ages 2-6. I look forward to trying the tips about table manners and discipline. It was well-written, easy to read and gave lots of tips. You could pick and choose chapters that were appropriate (I read all but the sibling chapter as my son is an only child). This book had great information for helping kids dealing with divorce, family illness, and understanding difficult concepts like death and the impact the news media has. Just a day after reading it things I learned in this book came in handy. I will be recommending this book to friends and referring back to it often!

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

All in all, I liked this one. Not so much "parenting" (dealing with day-to-day issues) as it was communication. Very practical, scripted conversations to have with children ages 2 to 6, regarding some of the big issues (and some of the small ones) they will deal with. Death, manners, divorce, sex - it's all covered. I think I will likely refer to this one again as my kids get older and I need to shift the conversation to the next things their brain can handle.

The advice followed what I believe to be the right way to talk to children - factual and age-appropriate. What was nice for me was to see exactly what age-appropriate is for the different ages.

Really well done.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Despite its title, this book is better at explaining why your kid is acting the way s/he is acting than telling you what to say about it. Which is useful. I definitely felt less angry at my kid when I understood why he was refusing to eat his dinner (because he wants to control something, anything, in his little life). But the "script" to get him to eat dinner didn't really help. The chapter on explaining death to your kid, though, was great...explaining that everything has a "life cycle," etc. I'm sure I'll pick it up again for some tips and refreshers, but it won't be my #1 go-to parenting book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This isn't exactly what I was looking for, but it is a useful resource. I am focused right now on the discipline issue, and there is one chapter on that, and a general chapter on communication. The rest of the book deals with specific circumstances - divorce, death, etc. I picked up a few great tips with respect to making sure I am saying what I mean, such as not making a request when I mean to give a direction, not allowing myself to suggest there are options when there aren't, shaping my statements to set the expectation that certain tasks will be performed, that sort of thing.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got quite a bit out of this book and appreciated that it spent a lot of time on difficult subjects that other parenting books mainly ignore for this age group (3-6 year olds) like discussing death, major illness, nakedness and sex. I felt the author's style and recommendations fit well with Parenting With Love and Logic. This is certainly a book that I would refer to again if needed.

[Farrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really can't recommend this books enough. This is the third time I've read it and I have numerous pages folded down to come back to for future reminders and reference. The tips on dealing with whining, tantrums, sibling rivalries, talking to kids about hard subjects, etcetera etcetera are very, very good. I'm not saying I'm good at putting them all into practice, but the ones I have, have worked!

[Christine Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great for reading and getting suggestions on how to answer those difficult questions from your kids before they ask them (or even after). I didn't agree with the section on tattling, but thought the rest was insightful. I'm not so nervous about the questions about sex, death, etc that will be coming.

[Sharla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book! I found several examples of good ideas on how to talk to kids about tough topics, and different ways to handle the issues at various ages and developmental stages. It was particularly helpful with a situation that just came up with our family, so I've already used some of the suggestions! I'm going to buy a used copy to keep on hand at home for reference. Recommended!

[Alexy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok book. I read a lot of parenting books. I found her suggestions for consequences a bit harsh. I found most of the book common sense but the scripts might come in handy some day. I like the suggestions in the chapters on nose picking (and other embarrassing public behaviors). I found that chapter helpful for my 2.5 year old.

[Denise Morse · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very well written and helpful book about what to say in response to difficult questions, which is why we picked it up. However more than what to say, we have been using the helpful tips about how to handle tantrums, not listening and other fun four year old behavior. We just started using it but are hopeful about it working.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reference book for parents. It gives positive solutions to dealing with a variety of issues that can arise when dealing with children. I had checked this out from the library, but enjoyed it so much, I bought the book.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went to find a copy for Brig of Playful Parenting at a used book store so we could read it together and found this instead. She has a lot of the same philosophies as Playful Parenting and it is so simple to read and refer back to!

[Sheherazahde · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was amazed that this woman actually makes a living giving advice. Her advice is contradictory and just plain bad. I do not recommend this book. I started to write down all the things I didn't like about this book but there was just too much.

[Kathy]

So many useful lessons about communication... and not just applicable to kids --> could definitely apply to spousal discourse!! hehe

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great parenting book (with a cheesy title) that I'll need close-by on the longer, harder days. It's already worked wonders with whining...

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very realistic and practical help on a variety of subjects.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an absolutely wonderful parenting book with such practical and straight-forward advice. Im already implementing alot of the advice and tips.

[Kathleen Garber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. Get it.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

For the novice parent.
Nothing outstanding.