Time to Tell 'Em Off! A Pocket Guide to Overcoming Peer Ridicule

by Deanna Miller

Listed as a favorite self-help book for children and teens by Lifestyles, a publication by Estevan Lifestyles Publications.

Libraries' and bookstores' resources on bullying are often limited to picture books and parenting books. This book is for those who deal with the worst bullying: preteens and teens.

Time to Tell 'Em Off! offers advice to ridiculed/bullied kids and teens, based on the author's experience as a target. The author sympathizes with ridiculed young people, explains why certain people are harassed, and provides coping and self-defense strategies.

The problem of school bullying needs to be tackled from all angles. One angle is for teachers to put a halt to bullying as soon as they witness it. Another is to change the mind-set of the student majority so that bullies feel the weight of the majority's disapproval instead of feeling encouraged to bully because the majority either ignores the bullying or finds it entertaining. Another angle is to empower the targets of bullying by giving them books like this one. Just as there are certain actions that school administrators can take, there are certain actions that the targets can take. This book gives them tools that, based on the author's personal experience, will help them address the problem as much as it is within their power to do so.

Genres: Self Help

108 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2002

About the author

Deanna Miller has worked as a cashier, ESL tutor, technical writer, nanny, editor, and stock trader. As a young person she loved reading uplifting fantasies like those by Madeleine L'Engle, so she decided to write a book in that tradition (Sky Bounce). She was bullied off and on from kindergarten through ninth grade, so she wrote a book based on her experience to help prevent bullied kids and teens from falling into despair (Time to Tell 'Em Off).

She also writes songs: www.soundcloud.com/peeky-blue

Her interests range from the nutritional research of Dr. Weston Price to the spiritual teachings of Eckhart Tolle and Florence Scovel Shinn. She loves babies, dogs, justice, freedom, and the arts (especially music). Deanna lives in Maryland with her beagle.

Reviews

[Deanna Miller]

Editorial Reviews

"A highly recommended social survival guide for young people everywhere and should be included in every school and community library collection in the country." --Children's Bookwatch, Midwest Book Review, May 2002 issue

"The calmly confiding tone of Time to Tell 'Em Off! should persuade many children...that they, too, can overcome harassment." --Parents' Press, October 2002 issue

"Talks directly to victimized teens and younger kids. Written in a simple, direct style, the book draws on Miller's own experience as a victim of ridicule. The highly encouraging text explains why certain people are targeted as victims and encourages readers not to make the mistake of believing what bullies want them to believe---that there's something wrong with them. Miller also provides practical strategies, including quick comebacks to a bully's insults." --Canadian Living magazine, May 2001 issue

"A clearly written guide to dealing with the effects of teasing and harassment. It presents a step-by-step plan for rebuilding self-esteem and rebuilding peer relationships. Highly recommended." --Stan Davis, bullying prevention specialist, social worker, and guidance counselor

"A small pocket manual that every parent and student should own...Written primarily for the child who is being bullied, the book, if read by parents, can help them recognize warning signs and aid their children in developing a viable plan when and if they face this situation." --Jonathan David Masters, Booktrees.com, July 2000 issue

"I think this book could help a lot of people who are getting picked on, and I suggest it...because it can help you even if you think you are completely under control." --Kelly Walsh, 12-year-old reviewer, ScribesWorld.com, June 2000 issue

"A good read for any survivor of school bullying, but definitely ideal for those currently bearing the burden of being teased." --Swerve Magazine editors

"Helps teens take a look at themselves and learn to like what they see, instead of hearing and believing hurtful words from others." --Penny Morang Richards, Eagle-Tribune, Saturday, August 26, 2000, Lifestyle Section

"Insightful and supportive to children who are being bullied. Wonderful advice." --Veronica Melgarejo, owner of Link Up, A Web Site for Parents, 2000

"I think this book should be part of every parent's library, and it would be a great way for parents and children to spend some quality time solving a very common problem in today's schools." --Mike Roberts, editor, GREAT Parenting! Electronic Newsletter, October 2000 issue

"If you have children in this age range [fifth through twelfth grade], I strongly encourage you to get this book for them! It will help!" --J. A. Hale, editor, The Balanced Woman ezine, August 2000 issue

"Overall, I'd cheerfully give this book to any kid who was showing signs of suffering from harassment." --The McQuark Review, September 2000 issue

"Time to Tell 'Em Off offers effective strategies for coping with school bullies. In addition to revealing how she was taunted as a child, Deanna Miller is living proof that such a child can grow into an attractive and confident adult.

"Because children will identify with Miller's story, they'll be more receptive to her advice on how to develop self-esteem, understand the psychology of bullies, and let off steam after a verbal or physical attack. Ultimately, what Miller offers is a toolset that will help kids confront their attackers. This is prevention at its best.

"Let's face it: we've all been teased cruelly at some time in our lives. Most children and parents will identify with this book. Even those who throw their weight around will gain perspective into their behavior and compassion for the targets of their abuse.

"Time to Tell Em Off...is a must-have addition to your family library. I wish that I'd read a book like this when I was growing up. It would have helped me understand how school bullies pick their targets and what I could have done to ward off their attacks.

"While I can't change my past, I can teach my children how to cope with these situations. Although Time To Tell Em Off was written with fifth graders through twelfth graders in mind, I think that younger children can benefit from reading some portions of the book. Don't forget: cruelty starts early. Teach your child how to deal with it before the bullying starts."

--Laura Ramirez, award-winning author and editor of Family Matters! ezine

"Deanna Miller writes about being a target of peer ridicule from first-hand experience. She endured ridicule from her peers from kindergarten through to ninth grade.

"She provides assurances to kids that there is nothing really wrong with them; however, she realizes that kids' behaviors sometimes make them the target for bullies. And she focuses on why some children are bullies and then why some children become victims.

"Deanna gives kids specific productive ways to handle the anger that results from being a constant victim of ridicule. She suggests kindly how victims can change some of their inside and outside behaviors to help eliminate themselves as focal points for bullies.

"During her 35 years of teaching [Reviewer is referring to herself, not the author.] this author has seen how devastating teasing and ridicule can be for children and how her special education students often didn't have the self-esteem or coping skills to overcome their victim status.

"This book is an excellent source of information for young people who have experienced the pain of ridicule. It first makes the author 'one' with the reader by showing how she was in the same position and then gives concrete advice for not only surviving the ridicule but also reducing the chance of being a target for bullies. For younger readers, the reviewer suggests parents read and discuss the book together."

--Kathleen Schwartz, teacher for 35 years, Sharp Writer Reviews, 2001

[Vincent Stoessel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this with the kids, surprisingly good