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The Secret Language of the Body: Regulate your nervous system, heal your body, free your mind
'Inspiring, refreshing and practical' Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score
The new essential self-healing bible – a revolutionary body-first guide to regulating your nervous system, curing long-term pain and healing from trauma for good.
Our autonomic nervous system is the part of us responsible for the constant but usually subconscious communication between our brain and body. This is a language that most of us have never heard of but, we assure you, you desperately need access to! When a person is burdened by stress, anxiety and trauma their nervous system adapts to help keep them alive, but can also trap them in survival mode. This can be the result of consistent exposure to unsafe environments, relationships and thought patterns. We call this nervous system dysregulation or sensitization, which can result in chronic mental and physical pain and confusion, leaving you unable to cope with life’s strains and stresses.
In this book we teach you how to move out of survival mode, regulate your nervous system and heal your mind and body through these three elements of getting to know and take back control of your nervous
1. Awareness of how it's doing what it's doing
2. Interrupting what it's doing
3. Redesigning its response to the inputs that dysregulated it
This book provides you with the tools to learn exactly how to start creating meaningful and positive change in your nervous system (and life) right away. As you advance, we will support you in exploring the beautiful nuances, shades and parts that make up who you are to sustain lasting change. We also help you learn how to support your nervous system in your daily life through the Nervous System Codes which are practical sequences aimed to sustain a resilient and flexible mind and body.
Ultimately, through physical practices and accessible yet crucial explanations of the science of the nervous system, you will learn how to skillfully speak the language of your body and elevate nervous system regulation from stress and symptom management to the high art of personal transformation!
The new essential self-healing bible – a revolutionary body-first guide to regulating your nervous system, curing long-term pain and healing from trauma for good.
Our autonomic nervous system is the part of us responsible for the constant but usually subconscious communication between our brain and body. This is a language that most of us have never heard of but, we assure you, you desperately need access to! When a person is burdened by stress, anxiety and trauma their nervous system adapts to help keep them alive, but can also trap them in survival mode. This can be the result of consistent exposure to unsafe environments, relationships and thought patterns. We call this nervous system dysregulation or sensitization, which can result in chronic mental and physical pain and confusion, leaving you unable to cope with life’s strains and stresses.
In this book we teach you how to move out of survival mode, regulate your nervous system and heal your mind and body through these three elements of getting to know and take back control of your nervous
1. Awareness of how it's doing what it's doing
2. Interrupting what it's doing
3. Redesigning its response to the inputs that dysregulated it
This book provides you with the tools to learn exactly how to start creating meaningful and positive change in your nervous system (and life) right away. As you advance, we will support you in exploring the beautiful nuances, shades and parts that make up who you are to sustain lasting change. We also help you learn how to support your nervous system in your daily life through the Nervous System Codes which are practical sequences aimed to sustain a resilient and flexible mind and body.
Ultimately, through physical practices and accessible yet crucial explanations of the science of the nervous system, you will learn how to skillfully speak the language of your body and elevate nervous system regulation from stress and symptom management to the high art of personal transformation!
335 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 23, 2024
479 people are currently reading
2233 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
July 23, 2024
Needlessly wordy and complicated with too many repetitions. I’d suggest reading the conclusion and referring to the pages with exercises to save yourself a lot of time and frustration.
December 20, 2024
I agree with a couple of the other reviews that it is needlessly wordy and what I call ‘fluffy’. The language is extremely flowery in some parts and overly scientific and dry in others.
I found that their made up AIR technique (to make it sound like some new kind of therapy) was a mash up of several pre-existing techniques, all of which I would find in my daily yoga practice (again, perhaps useful if this is something you don’t already practice yourself), or counselling session.
The organisation of the book was confusing, and once I had memorised one acronym, and learnt one technique, I had completely forgotten the last. There were sections within sections and just too much to learn and practice, making the whole thing feel more stressful than it needed to be. Far too many options and abbreviations for someone with my kind of neurodivergent mind to handle.
As someone who is familiar with a lot of these concepts, I found that it was just a re-hash of many things to come before it, however, if you have not previously read any material on mental-health, trauma or yoga, then you may benefit. I mistakenly thought I would be getting new information, but was disappointed.
If you are familiar with yogic principles, mindfulness and counselling, I have to say you will already know the techniques used, and all of the information in this book can be found free with a google search, and no, paying another £11.99 isn’t going to magically make you DO the practices.
Again, maybe some people who can handle lots of information at once, memorise more than a dozen techniques and have a mind that can hold masses of information at once (and still feel calm) might benefit from this book. That just isn’t me.
There are much better free resources I have found online, but I hope that this book can help some people.
I found that their made up AIR technique (to make it sound like some new kind of therapy) was a mash up of several pre-existing techniques, all of which I would find in my daily yoga practice (again, perhaps useful if this is something you don’t already practice yourself), or counselling session.
The organisation of the book was confusing, and once I had memorised one acronym, and learnt one technique, I had completely forgotten the last. There were sections within sections and just too much to learn and practice, making the whole thing feel more stressful than it needed to be. Far too many options and abbreviations for someone with my kind of neurodivergent mind to handle.
As someone who is familiar with a lot of these concepts, I found that it was just a re-hash of many things to come before it, however, if you have not previously read any material on mental-health, trauma or yoga, then you may benefit. I mistakenly thought I would be getting new information, but was disappointed.
If you are familiar with yogic principles, mindfulness and counselling, I have to say you will already know the techniques used, and all of the information in this book can be found free with a google search, and no, paying another £11.99 isn’t going to magically make you DO the practices.
Again, maybe some people who can handle lots of information at once, memorise more than a dozen techniques and have a mind that can hold masses of information at once (and still feel calm) might benefit from this book. That just isn’t me.
There are much better free resources I have found online, but I hope that this book can help some people.
June 25, 2024
This is a must for anyone. Such a good explanation about the nervous system and chronic illnesses & more. I’ve done the programm that they offer and this book is almost as good as the program. Such a great way to Heal in life. I’ve experienced lots of progress myself. Healing is possible!
September 1, 2024
The book "The Secret Language of the Body" by Jennifer Mann and Karden Rabin provides a holistic framework for understanding and healing the body through the AIR model, which stands for Awareness, Interruption, and Redesign. This model is designed to help individuals regulate their nervous systems, heal chronic physical symptoms, and free themselves from ingrained emotional and psychological patterns. By integrating these three components into daily life, you can create a foundation for long-term well-being and personal growth.
"Awareness" is the first step in the AIR model and serves as the cornerstone of self-regulation. It involves tuning in to the signals your body is sending and understanding how your mind interprets these signals. Often, the mind misinterprets bodily sensations, leading to reactions based on flawed perceptions. For example, you might experience physical symptoms of anxiety—such as a racing heart or tight chest—and interpret them as signs of imminent danger. However, by practicing awareness, you can learn to view these sensations as your body's way of communicating stress and respond with curiosity rather than fear.
The concept of awareness extends beyond just noticing physical sensations. It involves recognizing the underlying survival mechanisms that your nervous system employs to keep you safe. According to polyvagal theory, the nervous system operates in a hierarchy, moving from a state of calm and connection (ventral vagal) to a state of fight or flight (sympathetic) and finally to a state of shutdown (dorsal vagal) when stress becomes overwhelming. By becoming aware of these states and understanding how they manifest in your body, you can begin to interpret your symptoms as survival responses rather than dysfunction. This awareness allows you to take the first step toward regulation by acknowledging what your body needs to feel safe and calm.
Awareness also involves examining the patterns and behaviors that were modeled to you during childhood and understanding how they shape your nervous system's responses to stress. For example, if you grew up in an environment where emotional expression was discouraged, you may have learned to suppress your emotions, leading to chronic stress and physical symptoms later in life. By becoming aware of these learned behaviors and their origins, you can begin to heal the deep-seated patterns that contribute to dysregulation. This process often involves connecting with your inner child, recognizing your triggers, and addressing the root causes of your stress.
"Interruption" is the second step in the AIR model and involves breaking the cycles of stress and reaction that keep you stuck in survival mode. While awareness helps you recognize these patterns, interruption gives you the tools to shift out of them and create new, healthier responses. One key aspect of interruption is engaging the somatosensory system—your body's system for sensing touch, movement, and body position. Practices like yoga, dance, and massage can help you reconnect with your body and interrupt the mind's tendency to misinterpret bodily sensations. By engaging in these activities, you can shift your nervous system from a state of hyperarousal to one of regulation, allowing your mind to calm down as well.
Interruption also involves using nervous system modifiers—tools that help shift the nervous system from rigid survival patterns to more adaptive responses. These modifiers can include practices that enhance vagal tone (the health of the vagus nerve), such as breath work, qigong, or cold exposure. Regular engagement with these practices helps the nervous system become more flexible and adaptive, making it easier to move from a state of alertness to one of calm and connection. In essence, interruption allows you to reset your nervous system and create a more balanced state of being.
In the context of emotional healing, interruption involves recognizing and nurturing your inner child. Many of the patterns that lead to dysregulation are rooted in unmet emotional needs from childhood. By tending to your inner child's needs—such as feelings of unworthiness or fear—you can begin to change the inner dialogue and cultivate a sense of worthiness and connection. This process helps you co-regulate with others and address triggers that have developmental origins.
"Redesign" is the final step in the AIR model and involves reconfiguring your mind, body, and being into a more harmonious and healthy state. Redesign is about making lasting changes that support your long-term well-being by replacing old, unhelpful patterns with new, adaptive ones. For the mind, this means establishing a strong connection to your objective, observing self—the part of you that can step back and view your experiences with curiosity and compassion. By practicing this mindset, you can shift from a reactive to a responsive state, allowing you to approach life's challenges with greater clarity and emotional balance.
For the body, redesign involves overcoming the brain's resistance to change, particularly when it comes to nervous system regulation. The brain tends to favor familiar patterns, even if they are harmful, because they provide a sense of predictability. However, by engaging in practices that settle and tone the nervous system—such as meditation, breath work, or physical exercise—you can begin to rewire your brain and body to adopt new, healthier patterns. This process helps you feel safe and present with yourself, making it easier to maintain regulation over time.
Redesign also focuses on healing the internal working models that were developed during childhood. If your early experiences were marked by feelings of unworthiness or fear, your nervous system may have learned to default to dysregulation, making it difficult to trust feelings of safety and connection. However, by fostering positive relationships with others and practicing attentive bonding with your inner child, you can begin to transform these ingrained perceptions. This healing process allows you to establish new, functional patterns that affirm your worthiness and potential for love.
In conclusion, "The Secret Language of the Body" offers a comprehensive approach to healing by integrating the mind, body, and being through the AIR model. Awareness helps you listen to and understand your body's signals, interruption allows you to break the cycles of stress and reaction, and redesign empowers you to create lasting changes that support your well-being. By following this model, you can regulate your nervous system, heal chronic symptoms, and free yourself from the emotional and psychological patterns that hold you back. As you grow in your ability to recognize and respond to your body's language, you unlock greater potential for true wellness and a brighter, more aligned future.
"Awareness" is the first step in the AIR model and serves as the cornerstone of self-regulation. It involves tuning in to the signals your body is sending and understanding how your mind interprets these signals. Often, the mind misinterprets bodily sensations, leading to reactions based on flawed perceptions. For example, you might experience physical symptoms of anxiety—such as a racing heart or tight chest—and interpret them as signs of imminent danger. However, by practicing awareness, you can learn to view these sensations as your body's way of communicating stress and respond with curiosity rather than fear.
The concept of awareness extends beyond just noticing physical sensations. It involves recognizing the underlying survival mechanisms that your nervous system employs to keep you safe. According to polyvagal theory, the nervous system operates in a hierarchy, moving from a state of calm and connection (ventral vagal) to a state of fight or flight (sympathetic) and finally to a state of shutdown (dorsal vagal) when stress becomes overwhelming. By becoming aware of these states and understanding how they manifest in your body, you can begin to interpret your symptoms as survival responses rather than dysfunction. This awareness allows you to take the first step toward regulation by acknowledging what your body needs to feel safe and calm.
Awareness also involves examining the patterns and behaviors that were modeled to you during childhood and understanding how they shape your nervous system's responses to stress. For example, if you grew up in an environment where emotional expression was discouraged, you may have learned to suppress your emotions, leading to chronic stress and physical symptoms later in life. By becoming aware of these learned behaviors and their origins, you can begin to heal the deep-seated patterns that contribute to dysregulation. This process often involves connecting with your inner child, recognizing your triggers, and addressing the root causes of your stress.
"Interruption" is the second step in the AIR model and involves breaking the cycles of stress and reaction that keep you stuck in survival mode. While awareness helps you recognize these patterns, interruption gives you the tools to shift out of them and create new, healthier responses. One key aspect of interruption is engaging the somatosensory system—your body's system for sensing touch, movement, and body position. Practices like yoga, dance, and massage can help you reconnect with your body and interrupt the mind's tendency to misinterpret bodily sensations. By engaging in these activities, you can shift your nervous system from a state of hyperarousal to one of regulation, allowing your mind to calm down as well.
Interruption also involves using nervous system modifiers—tools that help shift the nervous system from rigid survival patterns to more adaptive responses. These modifiers can include practices that enhance vagal tone (the health of the vagus nerve), such as breath work, qigong, or cold exposure. Regular engagement with these practices helps the nervous system become more flexible and adaptive, making it easier to move from a state of alertness to one of calm and connection. In essence, interruption allows you to reset your nervous system and create a more balanced state of being.
In the context of emotional healing, interruption involves recognizing and nurturing your inner child. Many of the patterns that lead to dysregulation are rooted in unmet emotional needs from childhood. By tending to your inner child's needs—such as feelings of unworthiness or fear—you can begin to change the inner dialogue and cultivate a sense of worthiness and connection. This process helps you co-regulate with others and address triggers that have developmental origins.
"Redesign" is the final step in the AIR model and involves reconfiguring your mind, body, and being into a more harmonious and healthy state. Redesign is about making lasting changes that support your long-term well-being by replacing old, unhelpful patterns with new, adaptive ones. For the mind, this means establishing a strong connection to your objective, observing self—the part of you that can step back and view your experiences with curiosity and compassion. By practicing this mindset, you can shift from a reactive to a responsive state, allowing you to approach life's challenges with greater clarity and emotional balance.
For the body, redesign involves overcoming the brain's resistance to change, particularly when it comes to nervous system regulation. The brain tends to favor familiar patterns, even if they are harmful, because they provide a sense of predictability. However, by engaging in practices that settle and tone the nervous system—such as meditation, breath work, or physical exercise—you can begin to rewire your brain and body to adopt new, healthier patterns. This process helps you feel safe and present with yourself, making it easier to maintain regulation over time.
Redesign also focuses on healing the internal working models that were developed during childhood. If your early experiences were marked by feelings of unworthiness or fear, your nervous system may have learned to default to dysregulation, making it difficult to trust feelings of safety and connection. However, by fostering positive relationships with others and practicing attentive bonding with your inner child, you can begin to transform these ingrained perceptions. This healing process allows you to establish new, functional patterns that affirm your worthiness and potential for love.
In conclusion, "The Secret Language of the Body" offers a comprehensive approach to healing by integrating the mind, body, and being through the AIR model. Awareness helps you listen to and understand your body's signals, interruption allows you to break the cycles of stress and reaction, and redesign empowers you to create lasting changes that support your well-being. By following this model, you can regulate your nervous system, heal chronic symptoms, and free yourself from the emotional and psychological patterns that hold you back. As you grow in your ability to recognize and respond to your body's language, you unlock greater potential for true wellness and a brighter, more aligned future.
March 16, 2025
I've read so many of these books. I've got a running list of red flag words and phrases but "heal yourself" is right up there in the top 3. Along with the claim that symptoms of illness are "sacred messages" that will "set you free." I read the whole book anyway. Why? I don't know. Maybe so I could feel justified writing this review.
This book promises healing and repeats the words "heal yourself" dozens of times and yet never actually defines what they mean by "heal." Based on the case studies they present through the book, healing is something that happens quickly, is straightforward, and results in a cure. The people in the case studies go from bedridden to walking 5km in a few weeks. From migraines, back pain, chronic fatigue, panic attacks, and depression to full recovery after a few coaching/therapy sessions with the authors and/or doing the exercises in the book. "A week later Elsa was a completely different person." It's that easy! EYE ROLL.
Listen, do I believe that trauma and chronic stress lead to physiological health problems? FOR SURE. Do I believe that the exercises in the book can help us to process, manage, support, heal, and possibly recover from trauma and illness? YES. Do I believe that it's as simple and straightforward at the authors claim in this book? HELL NO. When stress leads to illness, like autoimmune diseases for example, do I think we can heal ourselves just by doing these exercises? NO, and telling people that it is possible leads to a lot of suffering.
I know because I've been ill for most of my life, and I spent decades trying to heal myself. I've healed A LOT, and I'm still really sick. Ironically, one of the biggest areas I needed to heal was the impact my failure to heal myself has had on me. It did me an incredible amount of harm. When I finally let go of the belief that only I could heal myself and that healing meant full recovery/cure, I was able to see what was actually possible for me. Healing means something very different now, and mostly, it is about living well with chronic illness, managing ups and downs, understanding that healing isn't linear or permanent and accepting that there are physiological changes in my body due to chronic stress and trauma that I do not have the power to change and to learn to be ok with that.
So much of the information and exercises they present are actually very useful, helpful, and effective tools for managing chronic illness and different aspects of healing but after reading the book and checking out the author's social media, it is clear to me that they are selling us a product. The product is the idea of self-healing. The health and wellness/self-healing sector is worth billions, more than Big Pharma now, and the authors are capitalizing. If not, they would have a very different approach, including, for example, not charging close to $1000 US for their online course.
Lastly, I'm SO sick of books on chronic illness and healing that have a complete or near absence of discussion about the ways that oppression causes chronic stress resulting in physiological illness and that this is not something we can heal ourselves out of/away from. It's infuriating when the authors spend so much time talking about the impact of childhood trauma on stress and illness without also talking about the impact of class, race, gender, environment, disability, late stage capitalism, colonialism etc. on us, both in childhood and throughout our lives. UGH. What a disappointment.
This book promises healing and repeats the words "heal yourself" dozens of times and yet never actually defines what they mean by "heal." Based on the case studies they present through the book, healing is something that happens quickly, is straightforward, and results in a cure. The people in the case studies go from bedridden to walking 5km in a few weeks. From migraines, back pain, chronic fatigue, panic attacks, and depression to full recovery after a few coaching/therapy sessions with the authors and/or doing the exercises in the book. "A week later Elsa was a completely different person." It's that easy! EYE ROLL.
Listen, do I believe that trauma and chronic stress lead to physiological health problems? FOR SURE. Do I believe that the exercises in the book can help us to process, manage, support, heal, and possibly recover from trauma and illness? YES. Do I believe that it's as simple and straightforward at the authors claim in this book? HELL NO. When stress leads to illness, like autoimmune diseases for example, do I think we can heal ourselves just by doing these exercises? NO, and telling people that it is possible leads to a lot of suffering.
I know because I've been ill for most of my life, and I spent decades trying to heal myself. I've healed A LOT, and I'm still really sick. Ironically, one of the biggest areas I needed to heal was the impact my failure to heal myself has had on me. It did me an incredible amount of harm. When I finally let go of the belief that only I could heal myself and that healing meant full recovery/cure, I was able to see what was actually possible for me. Healing means something very different now, and mostly, it is about living well with chronic illness, managing ups and downs, understanding that healing isn't linear or permanent and accepting that there are physiological changes in my body due to chronic stress and trauma that I do not have the power to change and to learn to be ok with that.
So much of the information and exercises they present are actually very useful, helpful, and effective tools for managing chronic illness and different aspects of healing but after reading the book and checking out the author's social media, it is clear to me that they are selling us a product. The product is the idea of self-healing. The health and wellness/self-healing sector is worth billions, more than Big Pharma now, and the authors are capitalizing. If not, they would have a very different approach, including, for example, not charging close to $1000 US for their online course.
Lastly, I'm SO sick of books on chronic illness and healing that have a complete or near absence of discussion about the ways that oppression causes chronic stress resulting in physiological illness and that this is not something we can heal ourselves out of/away from. It's infuriating when the authors spend so much time talking about the impact of childhood trauma on stress and illness without also talking about the impact of class, race, gender, environment, disability, late stage capitalism, colonialism etc. on us, both in childhood and throughout our lives. UGH. What a disappointment.
July 19, 2024
Was way too overcomplicated, sometimes the writing was even hard to understand. Healing the nervous system is so much simpler than that. It was so doom and gloom. No thank you.
August 11, 2025
brb ska hela mig själv nu
October 11, 2024
One of the better books I’ve read on nervous system regulation, with excellent tips and step by steps
January 30, 2025
3,5 ster voor nut, 1 ster voor schrijfstijl. Als je oefeningen zoekt om je zenuwstelsel te reguleren en jezelf beter te leren kennen dan is dit boek een goede start, maar het gros van de tekst mag eruit gesloopt worden.
February 19, 2025
Really interesting and good run through of the mind body connection. Now to put it into practice....
October 11, 2024
Phenomenal. Going to make this a must read for clients. Easy to understand explanations paired with clear, manageable, actionable steps makes this an ideal resource for anyone looking to repair their nervous system.
December 13, 2024
I would like this book to be condensed into a pamphlet or tract if you will promoting the methods of the bases and air. There were too many words, and I get that the authors had many words to give and needed to put them somewhere and some people will really need all the words. But I just need the pamphlet with some pictures and very few words. Luckily, Jen has a great Instagram. I especially like the stop scrolling posts, because I like to be bossed, mothered, etc into taking care of myself.
December 20, 2024
4.25⭐️
April 15, 2025
Way too woo-woo, written in a way that is not easy to understand. Small takeaways helpful.
June 14, 2025
Audiobook readers were not great. The premise of the book sounds good, and the techniques shared (that I know of) seem to be effective. The content just felt contrived and repetitive.
August 29, 2025
So much fluff, to the point where I forgot what you were actually trying to say halfway down a sentence. Over and over again.
February 22, 2025
incredibly helpful guide for rewiring the nervous system and moving out of chronic stress an survival mode.
February 5, 2025
Algunas de las ideas que se comparten en este libro son interesantes, pero no me ha gustado cómo está escrito e hilado. Los autores constantemente nos prometen que este libro va a ser nuestro camino a la sanación, ensalzan tanto su propia obra y meten tantos testimonios de pacientes satisfechos (cartas en las que les dan las gracias, etc) que por momentos más que el libro en sí parece que estamos ante un panfleto promocional del mismo.
Los autores narran casos personales que han vivido en tercera persona, desde una distancia extraña que desvirtúa en mi opinión todo el sentido de contar una situación de sufrimiento propio (para mí, eso debería ser un momento de vulnerabilidad y de acercarse al lector, no algo que se escriba como si se hablara de otro). En ocasiones incluso se citan a sí mismos, y todo esto me ha resultado demasiado pretencioso y extraño como para poder volcarme de verdad en la lectura.
Los autores narran casos personales que han vivido en tercera persona, desde una distancia extraña que desvirtúa en mi opinión todo el sentido de contar una situación de sufrimiento propio (para mí, eso debería ser un momento de vulnerabilidad y de acercarse al lector, no algo que se escriba como si se hablara de otro). En ocasiones incluso se citan a sí mismos, y todo esto me ha resultado demasiado pretencioso y extraño como para poder volcarme de verdad en la lectura.
September 26, 2024
4.5
“The day I began healing was the day I realised that I didn't have to fit into a story that wasn't mine anymore, that I didn't have to make myself smaller, kinder, nicer, better for other people in order to feel worthy. That I didn't have to abandon myself in order to feel seen. That I didn't have to achieve anything to feel 'enough'. The day I began healing was the day I realised I could stop apologising for being me and that the uncomfortable consequences of not being perfect would never be greater than the feeling of being free.”
“You are more resilient than you know, more strong than your toughest days, more loved than you feel, and more capable than you believe.”
—
One sentence review: While verbose and repetitive, there was an abundance of helpful tips!
“The day I began healing was the day I realised that I didn't have to fit into a story that wasn't mine anymore, that I didn't have to make myself smaller, kinder, nicer, better for other people in order to feel worthy. That I didn't have to abandon myself in order to feel seen. That I didn't have to achieve anything to feel 'enough'. The day I began healing was the day I realised I could stop apologising for being me and that the uncomfortable consequences of not being perfect would never be greater than the feeling of being free.”
“You are more resilient than you know, more strong than your toughest days, more loved than you feel, and more capable than you believe.”
—
One sentence review: While verbose and repetitive, there was an abundance of helpful tips!
November 5, 2024
One of the most thoughtful and helpful guides to healing the nervous system that I’ve ever encountered. The way these two authors approach regulating and healing “the mind, body, and human” isn’t necessarily new, but the way it’s laid out so simply and clearly in this book is truly revolutionary. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to heal from PTSD, anxiety, depression, chronic stress, etc.
October 3, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! This book is out now from HarperOne.
Full Rating: 4.5 stars rounded up
Kardin Rabin and Jennifer Mann’s The Secret Language of The Body invites readers on a transformative journey toward healing by emphasizing the profound connection between the mind and body. The authors articulate that our bodies are not merely passive vessels; rather, they are active participants in our emotional experiences. By delving into the latest advancements in nervous system science, they present a compelling argument that understanding the language of our bodies is vital for addressing emotional wounds and unmet needs. The book is divided into three illuminating sections—mind, body, and human—allowing for a comprehensive exploration of cognition, somatics, and the impact of developmental trauma and attachment wounds on our well-being.
Through the A I R method—Awareness, Interruption, and Redesign—Rabin and Mann provide readers with practical tools for self-healing. They emphasize the importance of recognizing dysregulation, interrupting maladaptive patterns, and reshaping those behaviors into healthier responses. The authors skillfully weave together scientific insights with patient vignettes that bring their theories to life, illustrating how trauma can manifest physically and emotionally. By challenging the traditional mind-body dualism, they highlight how our lived experiences are deeply intertwined with our physiological responses, making a compelling case for the inadequacy of conventional talk therapies in addressing the root of our struggles.
Rabin and Mann explore what they term the “nervous system paradox,” explaining how our nervous system, in its quest for safety, can inadvertently lead us into patterns of dysregulation that hinder our ability to heal. They underscore the necessity of cultivating mindfulness, interoception, and curiosity to navigate the complexities of trauma, allowing us to listen to our bodies and release the emotional burdens trapped within. Their emphasis on neuroplasticity instills hope, reminding us that healing is not only possible but also a dynamic process that unfolds at its own pace.
While the authors' approach to individualistic healing may resonate with many, it also raises concerns. I generally prefer a more collective framework for healing. Additionally, as a trauma-practitioner-in-training, I worry that readers may attempt the A I R practices without adequate support, potentially leading to re-traumatization during the vulnerable initial stages of healing. Creating a safe space with a trained therapist is crucial for effectively navigating these transformative practices.
Overall, The Secret Language of The Body is an insightful and informative read for anyone eager to deepen their understanding of the nervous system and its role in emotional and physical healing. Rabin and Mann’s blend of academic rigor and empathetic guidance invites readers to embark on a self-discovery journey, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to heal their mind and body holistically.
📖 Recommended For: Readers interested in the intricate connection between the mind and body, those seeking practical tools for emotional healing, fans of somatic practices, and anyone eager to understand the role of the nervous system in trauma recovery.
🔑 Key Themes: Nervous System Regulation, Healing and Self-Discovery, Mind-Body Connection, Trauma and Resilience, Emotional and Physiological Awareness, Neuroplasticity and Healing Practices.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Chronic Illness (minor), Mental Illness (minor), Abandonment (minor), Substance Abuse (minor), Death of Parent (minor).
Full Rating: 4.5 stars rounded up
Kardin Rabin and Jennifer Mann’s The Secret Language of The Body invites readers on a transformative journey toward healing by emphasizing the profound connection between the mind and body. The authors articulate that our bodies are not merely passive vessels; rather, they are active participants in our emotional experiences. By delving into the latest advancements in nervous system science, they present a compelling argument that understanding the language of our bodies is vital for addressing emotional wounds and unmet needs. The book is divided into three illuminating sections—mind, body, and human—allowing for a comprehensive exploration of cognition, somatics, and the impact of developmental trauma and attachment wounds on our well-being.
Through the A I R method—Awareness, Interruption, and Redesign—Rabin and Mann provide readers with practical tools for self-healing. They emphasize the importance of recognizing dysregulation, interrupting maladaptive patterns, and reshaping those behaviors into healthier responses. The authors skillfully weave together scientific insights with patient vignettes that bring their theories to life, illustrating how trauma can manifest physically and emotionally. By challenging the traditional mind-body dualism, they highlight how our lived experiences are deeply intertwined with our physiological responses, making a compelling case for the inadequacy of conventional talk therapies in addressing the root of our struggles.
Rabin and Mann explore what they term the “nervous system paradox,” explaining how our nervous system, in its quest for safety, can inadvertently lead us into patterns of dysregulation that hinder our ability to heal. They underscore the necessity of cultivating mindfulness, interoception, and curiosity to navigate the complexities of trauma, allowing us to listen to our bodies and release the emotional burdens trapped within. Their emphasis on neuroplasticity instills hope, reminding us that healing is not only possible but also a dynamic process that unfolds at its own pace.
While the authors' approach to individualistic healing may resonate with many, it also raises concerns. I generally prefer a more collective framework for healing. Additionally, as a trauma-practitioner-in-training, I worry that readers may attempt the A I R practices without adequate support, potentially leading to re-traumatization during the vulnerable initial stages of healing. Creating a safe space with a trained therapist is crucial for effectively navigating these transformative practices.
Overall, The Secret Language of The Body is an insightful and informative read for anyone eager to deepen their understanding of the nervous system and its role in emotional and physical healing. Rabin and Mann’s blend of academic rigor and empathetic guidance invites readers to embark on a self-discovery journey, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to heal their mind and body holistically.
📖 Recommended For: Readers interested in the intricate connection between the mind and body, those seeking practical tools for emotional healing, fans of somatic practices, and anyone eager to understand the role of the nervous system in trauma recovery.
🔑 Key Themes: Nervous System Regulation, Healing and Self-Discovery, Mind-Body Connection, Trauma and Resilience, Emotional and Physiological Awareness, Neuroplasticity and Healing Practices.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Chronic Illness (minor), Mental Illness (minor), Abandonment (minor), Substance Abuse (minor), Death of Parent (minor).
January 14, 2025
I started this book last fall and had to stop. I am now again reading it but not in the order it was written or every word of it. I should have read a sample before buying online because once I got to this passage, I immediately stopped and put the book down:
"By the time you are picking up this book, it's likely you've already tried conventional doctors, exercise, diet, functional medicine, supplements, yoga, cannabidiol (CBD) oils, deep tissue therapy, shiatsu, reiki, reflexology, acupuncture, cupping, hot tubs, saunas, aromatherapy, gong baths, salt scrubs, singing bowls, crystals, autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), binaural beats, chamomile tea, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), ayahuasca, talk therapy and a hundred and one different ways to breathe. Although some of these approaches may have helped, something is still incomplete, and you still don't feel the way you want to feel or live the way you want to live."
The above passage is very early it the book, so it is not spoiler. And I am very interested in this topic and have tried many, MANY approaches over the last 25 years and traveling distances to do so. But the entire list above, to me, is ludicrous. The book basically opens with the author's premise "it's likely you've already tried" everything listed. My first thought was, "Is this the author's mindset throughout the book?" Once I read that passage, I was done. I have subsequently picked the book back up, and I have been reading passages of it instead of reading all of it or in the order it is written. I've done that because I bought it really wanting to like it. And more importantly, I wanted to find it useful. I have not.
I believe this book is not sufficiently reviewed for individuals to make informed choices without going to a bookstore to study it before buying it. I am very glad for everyone it has helped or will help. Unfortunately, and despite the fact I am open to and have tried so many approaches, this book is not for me. Another problem = It is needlessly repetitive, which also detracts from the purported goal/message of this book. I am surprised the editor did not insist on making it much less redundant. Just my two cents.
"By the time you are picking up this book, it's likely you've already tried conventional doctors, exercise, diet, functional medicine, supplements, yoga, cannabidiol (CBD) oils, deep tissue therapy, shiatsu, reiki, reflexology, acupuncture, cupping, hot tubs, saunas, aromatherapy, gong baths, salt scrubs, singing bowls, crystals, autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), binaural beats, chamomile tea, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), ayahuasca, talk therapy and a hundred and one different ways to breathe. Although some of these approaches may have helped, something is still incomplete, and you still don't feel the way you want to feel or live the way you want to live."
The above passage is very early it the book, so it is not spoiler. And I am very interested in this topic and have tried many, MANY approaches over the last 25 years and traveling distances to do so. But the entire list above, to me, is ludicrous. The book basically opens with the author's premise "it's likely you've already tried" everything listed. My first thought was, "Is this the author's mindset throughout the book?" Once I read that passage, I was done. I have subsequently picked the book back up, and I have been reading passages of it instead of reading all of it or in the order it is written. I've done that because I bought it really wanting to like it. And more importantly, I wanted to find it useful. I have not.
I believe this book is not sufficiently reviewed for individuals to make informed choices without going to a bookstore to study it before buying it. I am very glad for everyone it has helped or will help. Unfortunately, and despite the fact I am open to and have tried so many approaches, this book is not for me. Another problem = It is needlessly repetitive, which also detracts from the purported goal/message of this book. I am surprised the editor did not insist on making it much less redundant. Just my two cents.
April 8, 2025
Good info, but real healing may need professional help
This book is fine as an introduction to how your body subconsciously reacts to past and current stressors, but to really benefit from the practices I would be better served by attending one of the workshops the authors hold. If you are dedicated to trying and practicing the techniques described then this book may be enough.
The book focuses on listening to your body and uses the acronym BASE-M to do this. In BASE-M, the M stands for the mind and focuses on understanding your thoughts and how they relate to your body's signals.
BASE stands for Breath, Action, Sensation, and Emotion.
Take notice of your breathing - is it relaxed or strained? Too fast? Holding your breath?
Action - what is your body and your mind doing?
Sensation - are any muscles tight? Any pain (stomach, headache, other aches or pains)? Tingling?
Emotion - what is your emotional state?
The key is to LISTEN. Don't jump to thinking about the 'why' as this will shutdown the discovery process. You need to fully investigate the symptoms first so you can deal with them.
Then focus on the 'how' - what were you thinking or what was happening that were the triggers to your body having a reaction?
Only after exploring your body's physical and emotional reactions and the possible triggers should you start to think about the 'why'. This is where you investigate the root causes to get to real healing. To me, this step needs a professional to provide their experience and guidance. People often have traumatic experiences as children or years earlier in their life which manifest in how the body handles stress or triggers, but unless someone knowledgable can lead you through that investigation and healing process it may be very difficult to do this yourself.
So the information was interesting, but getting to root causes and full healing may need more than you can get from a book.
This book is fine as an introduction to how your body subconsciously reacts to past and current stressors, but to really benefit from the practices I would be better served by attending one of the workshops the authors hold. If you are dedicated to trying and practicing the techniques described then this book may be enough.
The book focuses on listening to your body and uses the acronym BASE-M to do this. In BASE-M, the M stands for the mind and focuses on understanding your thoughts and how they relate to your body's signals.
BASE stands for Breath, Action, Sensation, and Emotion.
Take notice of your breathing - is it relaxed or strained? Too fast? Holding your breath?
Action - what is your body and your mind doing?
Sensation - are any muscles tight? Any pain (stomach, headache, other aches or pains)? Tingling?
Emotion - what is your emotional state?
The key is to LISTEN. Don't jump to thinking about the 'why' as this will shutdown the discovery process. You need to fully investigate the symptoms first so you can deal with them.
Then focus on the 'how' - what were you thinking or what was happening that were the triggers to your body having a reaction?
Only after exploring your body's physical and emotional reactions and the possible triggers should you start to think about the 'why'. This is where you investigate the root causes to get to real healing. To me, this step needs a professional to provide their experience and guidance. People often have traumatic experiences as children or years earlier in their life which manifest in how the body handles stress or triggers, but unless someone knowledgable can lead you through that investigation and healing process it may be very difficult to do this yourself.
So the information was interesting, but getting to root causes and full healing may need more than you can get from a book.
April 16, 2025
"The Secret Language of the Body" by Jennifer Mann and Karden Rabin is an insightful and transformative exploration into the connection between our nervous system and overall well-being. This book is a game-changer for anyone looking to better understand how to regulate their body’s responses to stress, trauma, and everyday life, while offering practical tools to improve emotional and physical health. There is so much to know about nervous system regulation, and this book does a wonderful job of exploring that in a practical, approachable way so that you feel like you're learning, while also putting some aspects into practice as well. As you build on the knowledge, it truly introduces you to the impact nervous system regulation can truly have and teaches you an adequate steady pace for implementing such practices.
One of the most compelling aspects of this book is its accessibility. The authors expertly break down complex concepts about the nervous system in a way that is easy to grasp, making it a valuable resource for both those new to the subject and seasoned practitioners. The language is clear, and the explanations are grounded in both science and holistic approaches, which creates a balanced, comprehensive framework for readers. Mann and Rabin go beyond theoretical explanations and dive into the practical. The book provides a variety of exercises, mindfulness practices, and body-based techniques that readers can integrate into their daily routines. These practices are designed to help regulate the nervous system, alleviate stress, and promote healing. The exercises range from simple breathing techniques to deeper practices like embodiment and body awareness, all of which are deeply rooted in the understanding that our bodies hold wisdom that can guide us toward healing.
What I found particularly enlightening about this book is how it emphasizes the idea that nervous system regulation is not just a mental exercise, but a whole-body experience. The authors take great care to show how unresolved stress and trauma can manifest physically and how by addressing the body, we can release stored tension, free the mind, and achieve a more balanced state of being. This mind-body connection is essential to the book’s core message, and it’s one of the reasons it stands out from other works on similar topics.
Mann and Rabin’s integration of trauma-informed practices also provides depth and empathy to the book. They acknowledge the complexities of nervous system dysregulation, offering readers not only pragmatic advice, but also compassion for the challenges of healing. This makes the book feel not just like an educational resource, but also a guidebook for personal growth and emotional freedom. For me personally, it's helped me better understand the plethora of health issues I'm dealing with due to nervous system dysregulation, which is such a foundational step to reversing the damage and impact. I've been chronically ill my whole life, and I wish I had doctors make these connections earlier, so that I could be dealing with less. However, I am hopeful after such an intense decline over the past few years that I may finally be on the right track to gaining my quality of life back.
Overall, "The Secret Language of the Body" is one of the most practical, informative, and educational books on nervous system regulation I’ve come across. It not only provides tools to help heal the body and mind but also empowers readers to take control of their health in a holistic and sustainable way. Whether you’re seeking relief from stress, looking to deepen your self-awareness, or simply wanting to improve your mental and physical well-being, this book is a must-read. It is both an enlightening journey into the science of the body and a deeply personal guide to self-healing. Highly recommended!
One of the most compelling aspects of this book is its accessibility. The authors expertly break down complex concepts about the nervous system in a way that is easy to grasp, making it a valuable resource for both those new to the subject and seasoned practitioners. The language is clear, and the explanations are grounded in both science and holistic approaches, which creates a balanced, comprehensive framework for readers. Mann and Rabin go beyond theoretical explanations and dive into the practical. The book provides a variety of exercises, mindfulness practices, and body-based techniques that readers can integrate into their daily routines. These practices are designed to help regulate the nervous system, alleviate stress, and promote healing. The exercises range from simple breathing techniques to deeper practices like embodiment and body awareness, all of which are deeply rooted in the understanding that our bodies hold wisdom that can guide us toward healing.
What I found particularly enlightening about this book is how it emphasizes the idea that nervous system regulation is not just a mental exercise, but a whole-body experience. The authors take great care to show how unresolved stress and trauma can manifest physically and how by addressing the body, we can release stored tension, free the mind, and achieve a more balanced state of being. This mind-body connection is essential to the book’s core message, and it’s one of the reasons it stands out from other works on similar topics.
Mann and Rabin’s integration of trauma-informed practices also provides depth and empathy to the book. They acknowledge the complexities of nervous system dysregulation, offering readers not only pragmatic advice, but also compassion for the challenges of healing. This makes the book feel not just like an educational resource, but also a guidebook for personal growth and emotional freedom. For me personally, it's helped me better understand the plethora of health issues I'm dealing with due to nervous system dysregulation, which is such a foundational step to reversing the damage and impact. I've been chronically ill my whole life, and I wish I had doctors make these connections earlier, so that I could be dealing with less. However, I am hopeful after such an intense decline over the past few years that I may finally be on the right track to gaining my quality of life back.
Overall, "The Secret Language of the Body" is one of the most practical, informative, and educational books on nervous system regulation I’ve come across. It not only provides tools to help heal the body and mind but also empowers readers to take control of their health in a holistic and sustainable way. Whether you’re seeking relief from stress, looking to deepen your self-awareness, or simply wanting to improve your mental and physical well-being, this book is a must-read. It is both an enlightening journey into the science of the body and a deeply personal guide to self-healing. Highly recommended!
February 6, 2025
I don't really recommend this book in audiobook format.
I got it as a special on Audible, and it seemed useful for what I am generally going through, which is coming to terms with the discovery that I have ADHD and am autistic, and have a tendency to get dysregulated. Some elements of the advice are helpful for that, and others less so, but in audiobook format, it really goes by much to quickly to even try once before they move on to the next exercise. There is an accompanying PDF, which I actually downloaded (and I normally never do that), which does detail the exercises, but now it has been so long that I generally forget the context of when to do each exercise. This would work a great deal better inline with the text, so I would recommend the book over the audiobook.
The book is generally persuasive, and the exercises I did get to try were helpful for interrupting my stressful moments in a way that is more effective than some other self-help books. I have aphantasia and lack an internal monologue, and many books rely upon interrupting intrusive thoughts (which I don't have) and visualizing (which I am unable to do voluntarily), but this revolves around specific motions and physical activities, which I can actually do, and which seem to work, at least to some extent. I might even just try printing out the PDF to try the exercises more often. I do think the authors present something of a rosy look at holistic medicine, which is not as widespread as they present, but it would be great if it were.
I think I got a good bit of use out of this book, but do think that a text version would be much better.
I got it as a special on Audible, and it seemed useful for what I am generally going through, which is coming to terms with the discovery that I have ADHD and am autistic, and have a tendency to get dysregulated. Some elements of the advice are helpful for that, and others less so, but in audiobook format, it really goes by much to quickly to even try once before they move on to the next exercise. There is an accompanying PDF, which I actually downloaded (and I normally never do that), which does detail the exercises, but now it has been so long that I generally forget the context of when to do each exercise. This would work a great deal better inline with the text, so I would recommend the book over the audiobook.
The book is generally persuasive, and the exercises I did get to try were helpful for interrupting my stressful moments in a way that is more effective than some other self-help books. I have aphantasia and lack an internal monologue, and many books rely upon interrupting intrusive thoughts (which I don't have) and visualizing (which I am unable to do voluntarily), but this revolves around specific motions and physical activities, which I can actually do, and which seem to work, at least to some extent. I might even just try printing out the PDF to try the exercises more often. I do think the authors present something of a rosy look at holistic medicine, which is not as widespread as they present, but it would be great if it were.
I think I got a good bit of use out of this book, but do think that a text version would be much better.
February 6, 2025
This was an incredibly practical and insightful guide to why people who have been chronically ill and resistant to biochemical and functional medicine treatment may be "stuck": the autonomic nervous system may need a reset. I've read several other books focusing on shifting the body from sympathetic to parasympathetic, but most of them were simple activities without a great deal of structure to them. This one was VERY practical, with somatic action steps at the end of every chapter. There was a thorough explanation of what each set of practices was supposed to do, why it works, and what the results should be. For someone who struggles to recognize their own emotions or understand their subconscious reactions, this is a great guide.
...I have to say, though, that especially toward the end, I rolled my eyes a lot ("your truth" and "my truth?" Your "inner child"? Really?) But, to be fair, I can see why the latter is the term used to describe our deepest seated beliefs. I can't think of a better phrase for it, quite frankly.
...I have to say, though, that especially toward the end, I rolled my eyes a lot ("your truth" and "my truth?" Your "inner child"? Really?) But, to be fair, I can see why the latter is the term used to describe our deepest seated beliefs. I can't think of a better phrase for it, quite frankly.
June 29, 2025
If you respond with fight or flight or freeze to situations where you'd rather respond coolly, or/and if you've got trauma from your childhood that keeps you from inhabiting your body simply and effectively, then this book will help you understand what's going on and give you exercises to help regulate yourself in those exhausting, adrenaline-filled moments.
The exercises are sometimes familiar if you've investigated the world of trauma, but they include:
• Breath and tone techniques for calming
• Grounding practices (wriggling toes, planting feet)
• Gentle stretching to release tension
• Felt-sensing: tuning into subtle sensory shifts
The coping strategies will help ground you, focus you, and ease your suffering.
The exercises are sometimes familiar if you've investigated the world of trauma, but they include:
• Breath and tone techniques for calming
• Grounding practices (wriggling toes, planting feet)
• Gentle stretching to release tension
• Felt-sensing: tuning into subtle sensory shifts
The coping strategies will help ground you, focus you, and ease your suffering.
July 30, 2024
The Secret Language of the Body is a surprisingly comprehensive exploration, explanation, and how-to of the nervous system. Surprisingly, because I typically think of a text book when I consider the sheer volume of information this book conveys. Instead, it’s pleasantly chatty and very effectively imparts its knowledge. It took me quite awhile to get through it, simply because I kept going back to re-read sections to really let them sink in. I found it highly useful, and will most certainly refer back to it.
If you’re interested in Polyvagal theory, and/or want more guidance on self-regulation than you’ve learned elsewhere, this truly is the book for you.
If you’re interested in Polyvagal theory, and/or want more guidance on self-regulation than you’ve learned elsewhere, this truly is the book for you.
August 23, 2024
This book has a great take on somatic practices and how to interpret what the body is trying to say. The repetition of ideas felt more like the authors were trying to offer a rhythmic approach that allowed people to slowly absorb the information instead of being redundant.
I would recommend people read this book one chapter at a time and give a day or two for the information to percolate. Reading it in one sitting will not have the same benefits.
Jennifer and Karden have wonderful knowledge and this book is a great starting point for anyone wanting to find a more harmonious relationship with their lived experience.
I would recommend people read this book one chapter at a time and give a day or two for the information to percolate. Reading it in one sitting will not have the same benefits.
Jennifer and Karden have wonderful knowledge and this book is a great starting point for anyone wanting to find a more harmonious relationship with their lived experience.
January 21, 2025
I really appreciated this holistic approach to managing stress and regulating the nervous system. The main downsides are this book was a bit wordy and I think some people might get turned off by the psych terms (which often sound more complicated than they actually are). I would also be careful with some sections that do seem to lean more into the pseudoscience realm of things. But overall, there's a lot of helpful insight you can take away from this book and the exercises were a great bonus. On a personal note, I greatly appreciated the link between child development psych and the nervous system in part 3.
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