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To Catch a Firefly
He was my beginning. And my never-ending.
Ellis
There’s a lot I’ve never told my best friend. The fact that I love him. That I miss him every day he’s gone. That, sometimes, I ache for him with a ferocity that leaves me breathless.
Lucky Buchanan tore into my life as a boy, wild and daring, my opposite in every way. He drew me in, stole my heart without trying. He hears me, even though I rarely speak a word. But I always knew this place wouldn’t be enough for my free-spirited friend. I knew he wasn’t mine to keep.
So why, when I finally try to get over him, does he sweep back into town? Why is he upset? Why is there tension between us for the first time in years?
I never saw a future where Lucky could be mine. But now, unless I want to lose my friend, I might not have a choice but to tell the truth. My heart belongs to him. It has from the start.
If only I knew how to hold onto a creature that’s meant to fly.
To Catch a Firefly is a standalone, childhood friends-to-lovers romance told in dual POV. There’s epic levels of pining, a neurodivergent MC with selective mutism, two friends who always come back to one another, glass hearts and romantic declarations, and a HEA beneath the night sky.
Ellis
There’s a lot I’ve never told my best friend. The fact that I love him. That I miss him every day he’s gone. That, sometimes, I ache for him with a ferocity that leaves me breathless.
Lucky Buchanan tore into my life as a boy, wild and daring, my opposite in every way. He drew me in, stole my heart without trying. He hears me, even though I rarely speak a word. But I always knew this place wouldn’t be enough for my free-spirited friend. I knew he wasn’t mine to keep.
So why, when I finally try to get over him, does he sweep back into town? Why is he upset? Why is there tension between us for the first time in years?
I never saw a future where Lucky could be mine. But now, unless I want to lose my friend, I might not have a choice but to tell the truth. My heart belongs to him. It has from the start.
If only I knew how to hold onto a creature that’s meant to fly.
To Catch a Firefly is a standalone, childhood friends-to-lovers romance told in dual POV. There’s epic levels of pining, a neurodivergent MC with selective mutism, two friends who always come back to one another, glass hearts and romantic declarations, and a HEA beneath the night sky.
313 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 15, 2024
2555 people are currently reading
20518 people want to read
About the author
Emmy Sanders
19 books1,497 followersEmmy Sanders, author of sweet, steamy, swoony MM romance, would describe herself as a lover of love. She's obsessed with both reading and writing romance and believes everyone deserves their happy ending. Queer herself, Emmy has a soft spot for LGBTQ+ fiction, but MM is where her heart lies. Her debut novel, Fool Hearts, released in 2022.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,973 reviews
May 1, 2024
After all that we've been through / Time won't change the way I feel about you (The Finest – S.O.S. Band).
Do you ever wonder if authors resent having to put a shirtless man on their covers? I'm just thinking that at some point, they've probably felt like their heartfelt stories are being undermined by Mr. Smoulder over there, smouldering all over their book. I've read this book and I'm still unsure of which character that dude is supposed to be. Oh, I’m totally fine with it these covers now, I’ve even been known to enjoy these kinds of books every now and then (understatement of the century), but I don’t think it can be denied that they carry a certain perception around them that may or may not hold them back from being seen as the wonderful stories that they are. I say this because the first few chapters were basically my perfect set-up for an epic romance transcending through all the ages. It had everything I ever need in a book! Sweet, nostalgic, and full of aching want, but still never too sappy or saccharine. I was already tearing up by the second paragraph and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Ellis and Lucky had that spark without things getting too Nicholas Sparks! There's an earnestness to their relationship that made it hard to look at directly, like staring at the sun. This is a metaphor, to show how I adore this book. I just wanted people to know where I stand before I start the complaining. Because, from here on out I think I’m going to come across as slightly negative (what else is new?), but I swear that it’s more out of disappointment at the tonal shift rather than any actual distaste. The biggest reflection of my opinion on this book is still going to be all those stars up there! So yeah, I feel like there wasn’t enough story in this book to fill its own pages because after a certain point, the focus changes. It wasn’t drastic, mind you, but all of a sudden, I can't lie that the vibes were off. I even had to flip the book back over a couple times to make sure I was still reading the correct one. I thought I’d started a surprise gem, something a little more subversive, and when I saw that this was just… the usual, my disappointment was palpable. I should probably point out that I never hated this book, I just thought that some of the sentiment was undercut by the many, many sex scenes in the second half of the book. I’ll keep this short, because I don’t want to add “guy-who-complains-about-sex-scenes” onto the list of things I do (I don't hate them! I don't!), but there’s a time and place people! It didn’t help that the book opened up the dialogue that Ellis might have been ace, but then promptly threw that out the window to satisfy the needs of the “MM GENRE.” I mean, the reason why I even have that weirdly specific, “shirtless-man-on-the-cover” bookshelf in the first place is so I can mentally prepare myself for the kind of book I’m getting into. There’s a certain rhythm to these kinds of books, and I like to stay on beat.
Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I’m one of those people who don’t like it when books feel like they’re following a specific template. I know I’m always talking about things feeling fake and formulaic, so don’t worry, I won’t go through my usual spiel for once. But I’m just saying that being able to see the lines of The Matrix almost always takes me out of the world that’s being created and it makes it harder for me to care about the characters if they feel like plastic toy molds who only exist to be filled in. ...I think that came out wrong. Anyway, this book already has the loveliest of love stories, so the characters here deserve better than tired tropes. Did we really have to adhere to certain mandates before and after Ellis and Lucky went on their fated man date? Ahh, I know the exact moment things took a turn too. Once I turned the page and saw a big “Part: 2” (gasp) at only thirty pages in, I thought: uh oh. Lucky’s first pov chapter then only helped prove my fears correct that this whole story would end up being vee~eery familiar. Maybe I just read too much from this genre, but the second he started talking it was like a bubble burst. Like, “Oh hey, I've seen this one before.” I didn’t even have any real problem with him. Nothing I could point to, at least. I even have to commend him on how he started from the bottom and now he’s a bottom, doing it big, Mambo No. 5-ing all over the Bahamas or wherever he was. Congrats dude! But I will say that... yeah, I don’t think he was all that engaging or had enough to say to warrant a point-of-view dedicated solely to him. And this is coming from someone who literally cheers every time I see that a book has dual perspectives, but some characters are more interesting if we’re left guessing at what they’re thinking. I think this book would have been better suited to having a “Beyond the Sea” quality to it, because, when you have a “childhood-friend-maybe-future-lover-moving-away-from-a-small-town”-type story, I think the emotional weight has more impact if we don’t actually know their thoughts, where they’re left shrouded in mystery. There’s an inherent dramatic tension and a sense of yearning that simply works best if we only see one side of the story. Sorry, but a song from Dorothea’s perspective just isn’t all that interesting to me. Also, when we find Lucky, living his best life, I thought it was odd that he still talks to Ellis every day? Oh, they're still in contact with each other? That's not very "Missing You" by Aaliyah of them. And every time distance seemed like it could be an issue with them (to, you know, add some kind of central conflict), Lucky would just hop on a plane, they’d meet up, and then we’d get more sex scenes. Yay, I guess. Good for them, I'm so happy. Anyway, I think I talked enough shit, got it out of my system and all that, because I did like this. I was never bored and even got incredibly emotional at several points. I don’t know why I worded that like I’m an alien impersonating a human, but I’m being genuine! Seriously! This is a wonderful book, and at the end of the day, what am I even doing trying to demand for something more. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” has never been truer than with To Catch a Firefly.
“Oh, God. It’s me. I’m the one who’s going to corrupt him.”
Do you ever wonder if authors resent having to put a shirtless man on their covers? I'm just thinking that at some point, they've probably felt like their heartfelt stories are being undermined by Mr. Smoulder over there, smouldering all over their book. I've read this book and I'm still unsure of which character that dude is supposed to be. Oh, I’m totally fine with it these covers now, I’ve even been known to enjoy these kinds of books every now and then (understatement of the century), but I don’t think it can be denied that they carry a certain perception around them that may or may not hold them back from being seen as the wonderful stories that they are. I say this because the first few chapters were basically my perfect set-up for an epic romance transcending through all the ages. It had everything I ever need in a book! Sweet, nostalgic, and full of aching want, but still never too sappy or saccharine. I was already tearing up by the second paragraph and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Ellis and Lucky had that spark without things getting too Nicholas Sparks! There's an earnestness to their relationship that made it hard to look at directly, like staring at the sun. This is a metaphor, to show how I adore this book. I just wanted people to know where I stand before I start the complaining. Because, from here on out I think I’m going to come across as slightly negative (what else is new?), but I swear that it’s more out of disappointment at the tonal shift rather than any actual distaste. The biggest reflection of my opinion on this book is still going to be all those stars up there! So yeah, I feel like there wasn’t enough story in this book to fill its own pages because after a certain point, the focus changes. It wasn’t drastic, mind you, but all of a sudden, I can't lie that the vibes were off. I even had to flip the book back over a couple times to make sure I was still reading the correct one. I thought I’d started a surprise gem, something a little more subversive, and when I saw that this was just… the usual, my disappointment was palpable. I should probably point out that I never hated this book, I just thought that some of the sentiment was undercut by the many, many sex scenes in the second half of the book. I’ll keep this short, because I don’t want to add “guy-who-complains-about-sex-scenes” onto the list of things I do (I don't hate them! I don't!), but there’s a time and place people! It didn’t help that the book opened up the dialogue that Ellis might have been ace, but then promptly threw that out the window to satisfy the needs of the “MM GENRE.” I mean, the reason why I even have that weirdly specific, “shirtless-man-on-the-cover” bookshelf in the first place is so I can mentally prepare myself for the kind of book I’m getting into. There’s a certain rhythm to these kinds of books, and I like to stay on beat.
Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I’m one of those people who don’t like it when books feel like they’re following a specific template. I know I’m always talking about things feeling fake and formulaic, so don’t worry, I won’t go through my usual spiel for once. But I’m just saying that being able to see the lines of The Matrix almost always takes me out of the world that’s being created and it makes it harder for me to care about the characters if they feel like plastic toy molds who only exist to be filled in. ...I think that came out wrong. Anyway, this book already has the loveliest of love stories, so the characters here deserve better than tired tropes. Did we really have to adhere to certain mandates before and after Ellis and Lucky went on their fated man date? Ahh, I know the exact moment things took a turn too. Once I turned the page and saw a big “Part: 2” (gasp) at only thirty pages in, I thought: uh oh. Lucky’s first pov chapter then only helped prove my fears correct that this whole story would end up being vee~eery familiar. Maybe I just read too much from this genre, but the second he started talking it was like a bubble burst. Like, “Oh hey, I've seen this one before.” I didn’t even have any real problem with him. Nothing I could point to, at least. I even have to commend him on how he started from the bottom and now he’s a bottom, doing it big, Mambo No. 5-ing all over the Bahamas or wherever he was. Congrats dude! But I will say that... yeah, I don’t think he was all that engaging or had enough to say to warrant a point-of-view dedicated solely to him. And this is coming from someone who literally cheers every time I see that a book has dual perspectives, but some characters are more interesting if we’re left guessing at what they’re thinking. I think this book would have been better suited to having a “Beyond the Sea” quality to it, because, when you have a “childhood-friend-maybe-future-lover-moving-away-from-a-small-town”-type story, I think the emotional weight has more impact if we don’t actually know their thoughts, where they’re left shrouded in mystery. There’s an inherent dramatic tension and a sense of yearning that simply works best if we only see one side of the story. Sorry, but a song from Dorothea’s perspective just isn’t all that interesting to me. Also, when we find Lucky, living his best life, I thought it was odd that he still talks to Ellis every day? Oh, they're still in contact with each other? That's not very "Missing You" by Aaliyah of them. And every time distance seemed like it could be an issue with them (to, you know, add some kind of central conflict), Lucky would just hop on a plane, they’d meet up, and then we’d get more sex scenes. Yay, I guess. Good for them, I'm so happy. Anyway, I think I talked enough shit, got it out of my system and all that, because I did like this. I was never bored and even got incredibly emotional at several points. I don’t know why I worded that like I’m an alien impersonating a human, but I’m being genuine! Seriously! This is a wonderful book, and at the end of the day, what am I even doing trying to demand for something more. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” has never been truer than with To Catch a Firefly.
“Oh, God. It’s me. I’m the one who’s going to corrupt him.”
December 27, 2024
3.5/5
Do you want an intense, passionate declaration of love in the rain? Read this book. Do you want childhood best friends to lovers with the most beautiful friendship? Read this book. Do you want years of pining that will frustrate you in the best way? Read this book. Do you want characters with the best and most supportive families? Read this book.
This is the story of two best friends, or rather soul mates, who were everything to each other and who, after years of pining, finally got the love they deserved together. A story about Ellis and Lucky. Lucky, our sunny character who was passionate about photography and wanted to see the world, despite also wanting to stay in his small town for his best friend, and Ellis, our second neurodivergent character with selective mutism, who was the sweetest small town farmer with an artistic talent for creating beautiful things out of glass whose best friends was the only person he could imagine his life with. The former was afraid that he would lose their friendship if he confessed his feelings, the latter didn't want to trap him in their small town when he knew about his dreams of traveling the world. They were best friends who always felt something for each other, but only after years of growing up together and discovering the truth about their feelings, they found what they wanted most — a life together in the love they both longed for. Their journey to get there is just so beautiful, intense, and at times frustrating, but trust me, it's worth the wait.
This book made me feel so many emotions — mostly good ones, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to get inside the book and hug our main characters. Their love was so tender, deep and simply beautiful that you are just sure that they will stay together until their last days, because being apart is like losing half of yourself.
While reading, you could literally feel the love they had for each other. I'm a huge fan of friends to lovers romance books because I will always believe that your partner should also be your best friend and that's exactly what Lucky and Ellis were — that's probably why I loved their relationship and connection to this extent. Their grand gestures, El's emails, the way they understood each other perfectly — even without words, their constant phone calls, how understanding they were of each other, the firefly nickname, how their families were close and would do anything for them, their wedding, the prom scene, how they were childhood friends who were always together. I just wanted to cry and cry and cry at how beautiful and perfect they were together, even though they were almost complete opposites.
So far I've only praised and praised this book, but I still haven't rated it five stars, so what exactly were my problems here? Some spoilers start here!
The first thing, or rather a person, is Lucky's friend/ longtime sex buddy/ coworker — Danil. I know he and Lucky worked together, but I personally didn't like that it didn't change in the end. I think I would go crazy if the love of my life worked with his former sex-buddy, with whom he was intimate for over a year and with whom he travels around the world. I'd probably die of jealousy, but maybe that's just me, because I understand that Lucky and Ellis might trusted each other enough to not let it bother them. I also wanted to go into the book and punch Danil in the face for having that weird confession at our main characters wedding that he loves Lucky and “I think if I ever could have felt more for someone, it would have been you.”. I know it wasn't exactly a romantic declaration of love as it turned out, but did he really have to have this type of confession at their wedding? I don't know why, but it irritated me a little, it was not his day for confessions.
The second thing that probably won't be a problem for everyone is that Lucky had a wild sex life — I'm talking about almost described, but fortunately not, threesomes and hookups with Danil in various places — when he went to college and later to work, while Ellis remained a virgin — a virgin who didn't even watch porn. Again, maybe it's just me who has too high expectations for the heroes, after reading about some who remained virgins their whole lives for their love interest, even if they weren't sure if they would be with them. I guess I thought he would still experience, but less when he loved Ellis so much and maybe he wouldn't be able to sleep with so many people when all he could think about was El. I know Lucky had every right to be sexually active because he thought Ellis was straight and not interested in him romantically, but after he kept saying how much he meant to him, how he was everything to him, etc., it left me with this unpleasant bitter taste in my mouth when, for example, after hooking up with Danil, he went to talk to Ellis for hours. So, it’s on me and my high expectations, and it definitely won’t be a problem for all readers. Also, when Lucky said to Ellis that he is his, and "I don’t want you to be with anyone else,”, I was like "You should be saying that to yourself, not to him.". Thankfully, when they confessed their love for each other, Lucky stopped sleeping around.
The last, rather small thing is that when they finally confessed their feelings to each other, the book seemed to focus on them having sex, that at one point there was just sex scene after sex scene. These scenes were extremely hot and full of passion, because the main characters loved each other and that's when sex is the best, but I wanted them to happen a little later, not that Ellie's first orgasm was already a moment after their love confession. I guess the author wanted to show how starved they were for each other after years of wanting and pining, so like I said, it was just a minor issue for me. And finally, it was mentioned that they could switched, but I don't remember that happening. Why suggest some sexual activity or change in character dynamics and then not show it? I felt robbed.
I could probably write and write about this book, because there are a few more things in it that I liked and I didn't write about them at the beginning, but I'll end my review here, because it's best to discover them yourself while reading it. Anyway, I think I can recommend it, because despite a few things that bothered me, it was still a strong three stars book.
Do you want an intense, passionate declaration of love in the rain? Read this book. Do you want childhood best friends to lovers with the most beautiful friendship? Read this book. Do you want years of pining that will frustrate you in the best way? Read this book. Do you want characters with the best and most supportive families? Read this book.
This is the story of two best friends, or rather soul mates, who were everything to each other and who, after years of pining, finally got the love they deserved together. A story about Ellis and Lucky. Lucky, our sunny character who was passionate about photography and wanted to see the world, despite also wanting to stay in his small town for his best friend, and Ellis, our second neurodivergent character with selective mutism, who was the sweetest small town farmer with an artistic talent for creating beautiful things out of glass whose best friends was the only person he could imagine his life with. The former was afraid that he would lose their friendship if he confessed his feelings, the latter didn't want to trap him in their small town when he knew about his dreams of traveling the world. They were best friends who always felt something for each other, but only after years of growing up together and discovering the truth about their feelings, they found what they wanted most — a life together in the love they both longed for. Their journey to get there is just so beautiful, intense, and at times frustrating, but trust me, it's worth the wait.
This book made me feel so many emotions — mostly good ones, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to get inside the book and hug our main characters. Their love was so tender, deep and simply beautiful that you are just sure that they will stay together until their last days, because being apart is like losing half of yourself.
"Promise we’ll still do this when we’re sixty or eighty or a hundred. I want a lifetime with you, El. Me and you. ’Til the end of time.”
I draw an X over Lucky’s heart. Promise."
"And every time I stayed away a little longer, it felt like I was losing my breath. Like I had less oxygen in my lungs. I was starved of it without you, El. You don’t make me feel trapped, okay? Never. You’re the air I breathe.”
While reading, you could literally feel the love they had for each other. I'm a huge fan of friends to lovers romance books because I will always believe that your partner should also be your best friend and that's exactly what Lucky and Ellis were — that's probably why I loved their relationship and connection to this extent. Their grand gestures, El's emails, the way they understood each other perfectly — even without words, their constant phone calls, how understanding they were of each other, the firefly nickname, how their families were close and would do anything for them, their wedding, the prom scene, how they were childhood friends who were always together. I just wanted to cry and cry and cry at how beautiful and perfect they were together, even though they were almost complete opposites.
So far I've only praised and praised this book, but I still haven't rated it five stars, so what exactly were my problems here? Some spoilers start here!
The first thing, or rather a person, is Lucky's friend/ longtime sex buddy/ coworker — Danil. I know he and Lucky worked together, but I personally didn't like that it didn't change in the end. I think I would go crazy if the love of my life worked with his former sex-buddy, with whom he was intimate for over a year and with whom he travels around the world. I'd probably die of jealousy, but maybe that's just me, because I understand that Lucky and Ellis might trusted each other enough to not let it bother them. I also wanted to go into the book and punch Danil in the face for having that weird confession at our main characters wedding that he loves Lucky and “I think if I ever could have felt more for someone, it would have been you.”. I know it wasn't exactly a romantic declaration of love as it turned out, but did he really have to have this type of confession at their wedding? I don't know why, but it irritated me a little, it was not his day for confessions.
The second thing that probably won't be a problem for everyone is that Lucky had a wild sex life — I'm talking about almost described, but fortunately not, threesomes and hookups with Danil in various places — when he went to college and later to work, while Ellis remained a virgin — a virgin who didn't even watch porn. Again, maybe it's just me who has too high expectations for the heroes, after reading about some who remained virgins their whole lives for their love interest, even if they weren't sure if they would be with them. I guess I thought he would still experience, but less when he loved Ellis so much and maybe he wouldn't be able to sleep with so many people when all he could think about was El. I know Lucky had every right to be sexually active because he thought Ellis was straight and not interested in him romantically, but after he kept saying how much he meant to him, how he was everything to him, etc., it left me with this unpleasant bitter taste in my mouth when, for example, after hooking up with Danil, he went to talk to Ellis for hours. So, it’s on me and my high expectations, and it definitely won’t be a problem for all readers. Also, when Lucky said to Ellis that he is his, and "I don’t want you to be with anyone else,”, I was like "You should be saying that to yourself, not to him.". Thankfully, when they confessed their love for each other, Lucky stopped sleeping around.
The last, rather small thing is that when they finally confessed their feelings to each other, the book seemed to focus on them having sex, that at one point there was just sex scene after sex scene. These scenes were extremely hot and full of passion, because the main characters loved each other and that's when sex is the best, but I wanted them to happen a little later, not that Ellie's first orgasm was already a moment after their love confession. I guess the author wanted to show how starved they were for each other after years of wanting and pining, so like I said, it was just a minor issue for me. And finally, it was mentioned that they could switched, but I don't remember that happening. Why suggest some sexual activity or change in character dynamics and then not show it? I felt robbed.
I could probably write and write about this book, because there are a few more things in it that I liked and I didn't write about them at the beginning, but I'll end my review here, because it's best to discover them yourself while reading it. Anyway, I think I can recommend it, because despite a few things that bothered me, it was still a strong three stars book.
February 24, 2024
I was expecting to cry and to feel emotional. I was ready and I wanted it. Instead, I was ready for this to be over cause of how bored I was.
This isn’t really a bad book. It’s just not my type of book. It has things I don’t like. Everyone says no one writes childhood best friends to lovers better than Emmy, but I disagree. Personally, I don’t like how Emmy writes childhood best friends to lovers. It makes me annoyed instead of emotional. In Fool Hearts, there was Harrison; in this, it’s Danil. Kinda hard to root for your characters when others are part of the picture for a while, no matter which way.
I found this quite boring and not emotional like others felt. There’s a bit of angst, but nothing I’d consider to be a large quantity. Maybe it’s because I was bored anyway, but nothing related to Ellis’s mother, the pining, and the separation between the characters made this angsty. There are some cute moments between the two, but nothing too much that made me root for the relationship. I think this author thinks that just because your characters have been childhood best friends since they were children, I’m supposed to root for them and accept their feelings, but it’s difficult to do that when they’ve spent time apart and it feels like there needs some rekindling to be done. Also, this author loves having her characters fucking like rabbits, on an endless non-stop cycle of sex, when they confess. It’s as if the emotional intimacy outside the bedroom is suddenly gone because they can’t keep their hands off each other. The issue isn’t the sex, but sex as a primary source used to develop their relationship. It’s just lazy to me.
The pining was okay. I don’t know but…I don’t see the pining as good as everyone else does. Emmy’s books have been described as “pining is the plot” yet I don’t see it. Maybe I missed it? As someone who considers childhood best friends to lovers one of her favorite tropes, I was disappointed to see and realize the pining in this was not as epic as I was expecting, especially from that blurb and from what others said. I liked Ellis’s perspective more, for obvious reasons. His pining was yearnful, and I was actually a fan of his unset letters/emails. Still, it felt like their dynamics were off, unequal, and didn’t feel fleshed out enough. At times, with Lucky having his wild sex life, it felt like Ellis’s pining was one-sided.
I can’t speak about the neurodivergency and Elli’s mutism from a personal perspective, but I did like how easily Lucky could read Ellis. Ellis being mute didn’t define him, thankfully, and it was just a part of him. Their childhood friendship was my favorite part about this, but that’s not a surprise.
This is the third childhood best friends to lovers book Emmy has written and they’re all made of three of the same ingredients: unrequited and/or yearly pining, separation, and characters being with other people. Will she ever write anything new with this trope? I don’t know but I won’t even hold out hope.
This isn’t really a bad book. It’s just not my type of book. It has things I don’t like. Everyone says no one writes childhood best friends to lovers better than Emmy, but I disagree. Personally, I don’t like how Emmy writes childhood best friends to lovers. It makes me annoyed instead of emotional. In Fool Hearts, there was Harrison; in this, it’s Danil. Kinda hard to root for your characters when others are part of the picture for a while, no matter which way.
I found this quite boring and not emotional like others felt. There’s a bit of angst, but nothing I’d consider to be a large quantity. Maybe it’s because I was bored anyway, but nothing related to Ellis’s mother, the pining, and the separation between the characters made this angsty. There are some cute moments between the two, but nothing too much that made me root for the relationship. I think this author thinks that just because your characters have been childhood best friends since they were children, I’m supposed to root for them and accept their feelings, but it’s difficult to do that when they’ve spent time apart and it feels like there needs some rekindling to be done. Also, this author loves having her characters fucking like rabbits, on an endless non-stop cycle of sex, when they confess. It’s as if the emotional intimacy outside the bedroom is suddenly gone because they can’t keep their hands off each other. The issue isn’t the sex, but sex as a primary source used to develop their relationship. It’s just lazy to me.
The pining was okay. I don’t know but…I don’t see the pining as good as everyone else does. Emmy’s books have been described as “pining is the plot” yet I don’t see it. Maybe I missed it? As someone who considers childhood best friends to lovers one of her favorite tropes, I was disappointed to see and realize the pining in this was not as epic as I was expecting, especially from that blurb and from what others said. I liked Ellis’s perspective more, for obvious reasons. His pining was yearnful, and I was actually a fan of his unset letters/emails. Still, it felt like their dynamics were off, unequal, and didn’t feel fleshed out enough. At times, with Lucky having his wild sex life, it felt like Ellis’s pining was one-sided.
I can’t speak about the neurodivergency and Elli’s mutism from a personal perspective, but I did like how easily Lucky could read Ellis. Ellis being mute didn’t define him, thankfully, and it was just a part of him. Their childhood friendship was my favorite part about this, but that’s not a surprise.
This is the third childhood best friends to lovers book Emmy has written and they’re all made of three of the same ingredients: unrequited and/or yearly pining, separation, and characters being with other people. Will she ever write anything new with this trope? I don’t know but I won’t even hold out hope.
February 28, 2024
3.5 stars
I really liked the beginning of the story and some parts throughout. Ellis and Lucky are wonderful characters and I loved that the author included a neurodivergent MC. Their friendship is amazing and I mostly enjoyed their relationship development. I could have done with
The story is beautifully written. It's very romantic and emotional, and has a very melancholic feel to it. But can the writing be too beautiful and poetic and the story too romantic? Because that's how it felt to me. There's so much focus on feelings and every single thing is meaningful and huge. I loved it to begin with, but in the second half it started to feel overwhelming and, as much as I loved how sweet Ellis and Lucky are, I was ready for the story to be over.
I didn't care about the epilogue, that's totally a 'me' thing, but I loved the last part of the story before the epilogue.
I really liked the beginning of the story and some parts throughout. Ellis and Lucky are wonderful characters and I loved that the author included a neurodivergent MC. Their friendship is amazing and I mostly enjoyed their relationship development. I could have done with
The story is beautifully written. It's very romantic and emotional, and has a very melancholic feel to it. But can the writing be too beautiful and poetic and the story too romantic? Because that's how it felt to me. There's so much focus on feelings and every single thing is meaningful and huge. I loved it to begin with, but in the second half it started to feel overwhelming and, as much as I loved how sweet Ellis and Lucky are, I was ready for the story to be over.
I didn't care about the epilogue, that's totally a 'me' thing, but I loved the last part of the story before the epilogue.
June 22, 2024
This book is:
~ beautifully written
~ romantic
~ poignant at times (but mostly hopeful)
~ filled with longing
~ about family and friendship and things meant to be
I loved Ellis and Lucky's story.
Two halves, no matter how jagged and lost, can form a perfect whole.
You can't cage a wild thing, but you can trust that one day it will return to you.
All the stars for featuring a neurodivergent MC and the man who loves him just as he is.
I don't know who needs to hear this: Autistic people don't need to be fixed because they are not broken.
~ beautifully written
~ romantic
~ poignant at times (but mostly hopeful)
~ filled with longing
~ about family and friendship and things meant to be
I loved Ellis and Lucky's story.
Two halves, no matter how jagged and lost, can form a perfect whole.
You can't cage a wild thing, but you can trust that one day it will return to you.
All the stars for featuring a neurodivergent MC and the man who loves him just as he is.
I don't know who needs to hear this: Autistic people don't need to be fixed because they are not broken.
November 6, 2024
This book has everything that I hate...
Time skips - HATE
Miscommunication - HATE
Proposals - HATE
Epilogues - DOUBLE HATE
Epilogues with or by children - LOATHE ENTIRELY!
Literally me the whole time I was reading this:
BUT.... I AM A BIG SUCKER AND I LIKED THIS BOOK, IDC. 💖 I have a cold dead heart 95% of the time, and this book can go in that other 5%.
I think I have to put it down to:
1. Insanity on my part
2. I have never read a "friends to lovers" so I had literally nothing to compare it to.
3. I felt like if the next book I read didn't bring me at least minimal joy, I was going to smash my kindle and never read ever again?
So there was some added pressure for this book to perform and live up to it's hype for me 😂😂😂
Before I explain myself a little, I HAVE ONE BIG ISSUE WITH THIS BOOK AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT FIRST... This may be nitpicky, and I may just be a horny fuck.
But.. The author made a big deal out of the MC's being switcherooooo's right, but never showed them being vers???????????
HELLO?????
WHY DID YOU FUCKING DEPRIVE US LIKE THAT?!?
R U FOOKIN KIDDING ME!?
WHAT WAS THE REASON!?
There is nothing more hot than the big fuck off muscled farmer man being railed by his slightly smaller artistic boyfriend?? Especially when they've been pining and miscommunicating there stupid ass boy feelings for FUCKING YEARS... and I felt ROBBED that we didn't get that.
Like, I'm gonna cut my fucking hair off and I want to talk to the manager immediately.
And the fact the author made a point of making sure the MC who doesn't speak much, completely asked "hey would you rail me sometime?" (in nicer words than that lol) and then THAT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT ON PAGE IS A FKN SLAP IN MY NEEDY ASS FACE
Anyway, positives.
- Time skips were used correctly, with some amount of past reflection, but it was used tastefully to fill in gaps with cute stories, instead of like... REMINISCING ON WHOLE FUCKING SECTIONS OF LIFE, which is what I usually hate about time skips.
- The miscommunication was annoying and dragged out (as all miscommunication generally is) but the MC is literally semi mute/ASD ect, and so miscommunication was inevitable realistically.
- The proposal... I'm not gonna lie... **PROBABLY NEVER TO BE REPEATED RARE EVENT ABOUT TO HAPPEN** I loved it.... It was like from a movie, and cliche, but I dooooo nooooot care. I'm a weak ass hoe for some fairy lights. what is wrong with me?
I wish I could make this smaller font so maybe people who bothered to read this would not notice it in real smol font... but I actually didn't mind the child epilogue. It was kinda cute. I kinda wanted to throw up. I kinda wanted to die. It was a whole lot of conflicting emotions from an epilogue/child disliker lol
Time skips - HATE
Miscommunication - HATE
Proposals - HATE
Epilogues - DOUBLE HATE
Epilogues with or by children - LOATHE ENTIRELY!
Literally me the whole time I was reading this:
BUT.... I AM A BIG SUCKER AND I LIKED THIS BOOK, IDC. 💖 I have a cold dead heart 95% of the time, and this book can go in that other 5%.
I think I have to put it down to:
1. Insanity on my part
2. I have never read a "friends to lovers" so I had literally nothing to compare it to.
3. I felt like if the next book I read didn't bring me at least minimal joy, I was going to smash my kindle and never read ever again?
So there was some added pressure for this book to perform and live up to it's hype for me 😂😂😂
Before I explain myself a little, I HAVE ONE BIG ISSUE WITH THIS BOOK AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT FIRST... This may be nitpicky, and I may just be a horny fuck.
But.. The author made a big deal out of the MC's being switcherooooo's right, but never showed them being vers???????????
HELLO?????
WHY DID YOU FUCKING DEPRIVE US LIKE THAT?!?
R U FOOKIN KIDDING ME!?
WHAT WAS THE REASON!?
There is nothing more hot than the big fuck off muscled farmer man being railed by his slightly smaller artistic boyfriend?? Especially when they've been pining and miscommunicating there stupid ass boy feelings for FUCKING YEARS... and I felt ROBBED that we didn't get that.
Like, I'm gonna cut my fucking hair off and I want to talk to the manager immediately.
And the fact the author made a point of making sure the MC who doesn't speak much, completely asked "hey would you rail me sometime?" (in nicer words than that lol) and then THAT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT ON PAGE IS A FKN SLAP IN MY NEEDY ASS FACE
Anyway, positives.
- Time skips were used correctly, with some amount of past reflection, but it was used tastefully to fill in gaps with cute stories, instead of like... REMINISCING ON WHOLE FUCKING SECTIONS OF LIFE, which is what I usually hate about time skips.
- The miscommunication was annoying and dragged out (as all miscommunication generally is) but the MC is literally semi mute/ASD ect, and so miscommunication was inevitable realistically.
- The proposal... I'm not gonna lie... **PROBABLY NEVER TO BE REPEATED RARE EVENT ABOUT TO HAPPEN** I loved it.... It was like from a movie, and cliche, but I dooooo nooooot care. I'm a weak ass hoe for some fairy lights. what is wrong with me?
I wish I could make this smaller font so maybe people who bothered to read this would not notice it in real smol font... but I actually didn't mind the child epilogue. It was kinda cute. I kinda wanted to throw up. I kinda wanted to die. It was a whole lot of conflicting emotions from an epilogue/child disliker lol
January 10, 2025
Every time I think about or talk about this book with someone I feel worse about it and have more issues, lol. Feel like my original review doesn’t really fit my feelings anymore, so feel free to ignore everything below, other than the safety info and content warnings, obviously.
Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.
I hope you’re happy. I know you are. I hope you’re living. I have no doubt of that, either. I hope, sometimes, that you think of me like I think of you.
I knew this book was going to hurt my feelings, as it’s childhood best-friends-to-lovers with endless mutual pining. Even when prepared for it, it packed an emotional punch like few other romance books do. This book is beyond beautiful, and I think everyone should read it. You can tell the story is dear to the author’s heart.
Both main characters are beautiful and well developed, and it really was a joy to go on their journey with them, even if I cried through about 70% of the book. The term ‘hurts so good’ is more than apt for this story. Lucky is an amazing character, but Ellis will hold a special place in my heart for a long time. You’ll have to look far and wide to find a more loyal, loving and selfless character. The way my heart and body ached for him was unreal. Seriously, bring all the tissues.
I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me.
Now for the smut. I have to say, calling it ‘smut’ or ‘spice’ feels almost disrespectful. Not because it wasn’t smutty or spicy, but because it was so much more than that. These characters had insane chemistry and intimacy, and one of the sex scenes was so intense and intimate that I had to take a breather and talk to my friend about it. You don’t see that a lot.
I’ve only read a couple Emmy Sanders books before this one, and even though the writing was amazing in those, To Catch a Firefly was on another level entirely. Couldn’t recommend it more, honestly.
I suppose, in the end, it doesn’t matter when things started to change. Because Lucky’s path has been set from the moment he came into my life. “I’m gonna get out of this town one day, El.” He never was mine to keep. No matter how much I wish it.
I’ve edited my rating down to 4 stars because the excessive OM stuff drags on for way too long for my comfort and made me feel awful on Ellis’ behalf. Still a beautiful book, but to me it was unnecessary and made it difficult to connect with Lucky.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Neurodivergent MC
Selective mutism
Mutual pining
Best friends to lovers
Adrenaline junkie MC
Size difference
Slow burn
Small town
Long distance friendship/relationship
Virgin MC
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Brief mention of miscarriage
Mild violence (past, on page)
Homophobia
Side character with multiple sclerosis
Themes of abandonment
Death of estranged parent (off page)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
OM/OW drama: The book spans 15 years, with most of it being in present day. Neither MC believed being together would ever happen, which results in Lucky being with other people (off and on page, but never detailed). In one ‘flashback’ chapter, Ellis sees Lucky with a previous hookup at a party, and there is some touching. He has casual hookups with a coworker in present day, but there are no feelings involved from Lucky. All of that stops as soon as things evolve with Ellis. The hookup later confesses that if could’ve developed feelings for Lucky.
Breakup: No
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance, M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Versatile (switch in bonus epilogue)
MC age: 25 and 25
Pages: 313
I wonder, when he’s done getting his picture, if he’ll be able to see the world spinning. I wonder how many more revolutions Lucky will be in mine.
Of course Lucky needs to leave. I’ve been foolish to hope otherwise for all these years. Just a foolish boy who didn’t want to grow up. Not if it meant saying goodbye.
But even if Lucky could ever look at me the way he looks at guys like Andrew, what good would it possibly do? It would only hurt more, in the end—having a taste, only to lose it. I’d rather never know. I think, maybe, this is all I’ll ever have. Because who else is going to take the time to understand me like Lucky?
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.
I hope you’re happy. I know you are. I hope you’re living. I have no doubt of that, either. I hope, sometimes, that you think of me like I think of you.
I knew this book was going to hurt my feelings, as it’s childhood best-friends-to-lovers with endless mutual pining. Even when prepared for it, it packed an emotional punch like few other romance books do. This book is beyond beautiful, and I think everyone should read it. You can tell the story is dear to the author’s heart.
Both main characters are beautiful and well developed, and it really was a joy to go on their journey with them, even if I cried through about 70% of the book. The term ‘hurts so good’ is more than apt for this story. Lucky is an amazing character, but Ellis will hold a special place in my heart for a long time. You’ll have to look far and wide to find a more loyal, loving and selfless character. The way my heart and body ached for him was unreal. Seriously, bring all the tissues.
I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me.
Now for the smut. I have to say, calling it ‘smut’ or ‘spice’ feels almost disrespectful. Not because it wasn’t smutty or spicy, but because it was so much more than that. These characters had insane chemistry and intimacy, and one of the sex scenes was so intense and intimate that I had to take a breather and talk to my friend about it. You don’t see that a lot.
I’ve only read a couple Emmy Sanders books before this one, and even though the writing was amazing in those, To Catch a Firefly was on another level entirely. Couldn’t recommend it more, honestly.
I suppose, in the end, it doesn’t matter when things started to change. Because Lucky’s path has been set from the moment he came into my life. “I’m gonna get out of this town one day, El.” He never was mine to keep. No matter how much I wish it.
I’ve edited my rating down to 4 stars because the excessive OM stuff drags on for way too long for my comfort and made me feel awful on Ellis’ behalf. Still a beautiful book, but to me it was unnecessary and made it difficult to connect with Lucky.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Neurodivergent MC
Selective mutism
Mutual pining
Best friends to lovers
Adrenaline junkie MC
Size difference
Slow burn
Small town
Long distance friendship/relationship
Virgin MC
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Brief mention of miscarriage
Mild violence (past, on page)
Homophobia
Side character with multiple sclerosis
Themes of abandonment
Death of estranged parent (off page)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
OM/OW drama: The book spans 15 years, with most of it being in present day. Neither MC believed being together would ever happen, which results in Lucky being with other people (off and on page, but never detailed). In one ‘flashback’ chapter, Ellis sees Lucky with a previous hookup at a party, and there is some touching. He has casual hookups with a coworker in present day, but there are no feelings involved from Lucky. All of that stops as soon as things evolve with Ellis. The hookup later confesses that if could’ve developed feelings for Lucky.
Breakup: No
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance, M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Versatile (switch in bonus epilogue)
MC age: 25 and 25
Pages: 313
I wonder, when he’s done getting his picture, if he’ll be able to see the world spinning. I wonder how many more revolutions Lucky will be in mine.
Of course Lucky needs to leave. I’ve been foolish to hope otherwise for all these years. Just a foolish boy who didn’t want to grow up. Not if it meant saying goodbye.
But even if Lucky could ever look at me the way he looks at guys like Andrew, what good would it possibly do? It would only hurt more, in the end—having a taste, only to lose it. I’d rather never know. I think, maybe, this is all I’ll ever have. Because who else is going to take the time to understand me like Lucky?
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
March 1, 2024
A really wonderful book a magical story. I understand the reviews now though. I'm torn on the rating. I actually really wanted to give this five stars because it touched me so deeply emotionally. Whenever that happens, I always rate it higher than I should. But it's stupid when the last third of the book "overshadows" the rest so much. It's not really bad, it's not really anything to totally criticize, but somehow I can't get it out of my head.
For me, the book should have ended at 58% after chapter 23. A slightly open ending with the outlook that of course it's a HEA and nothing would get in the way of the relationship might have done the story some good. Because at that point, I was super super happy.
With the moon lending its soft glow through the window, Lucky falls asleep. And I learn what it is to cradle a firefly in my palms. 💞🫠💞
These would be the perfect closing sentences for me. After that ... well the story is still wonderful and I love the glimpses you get into Ellis and Lucky's lives and dates, but it's all just too much.
The sex scenes are wonderful in themselves. Like the whole book, they are extremely emotional in their flowery writing and I love that. There aren't that many sex scenes and anyone who knows me knows that I rarely complain about too much sex. Well, there's not really too much sex, but I just don't think it really fits.
The narration of Ellis and Lucky is so tenderhearted, the love that develops between the two is like something insanely precious and I just feel like this story would have done better with cuddling scenes.
And then ... Oh my goodness! That was so cheesy! The ending couldn't have been cheesier.
Of course, we all read these books because we love romance and because it simply gives us a good feeling to watch fictional characters twirling around and falling in love. But too much is too much ... The proposal was perfect, I don't need to see the wedding and I don't need an epilogue that's even cheesier than everything before it.
Crap, now I haven't said anything positive, even though I loved this story.
So, in case it wasn't clear, I think this story is really adorable, the way it's told is really lovely and the idea behind the differences in Lucky and Ellis' personalities are absolutely perfect.
I think it was at thirteen that I first felt my heart beat for you. And break, just a little. Because I knew, like that tornado, you’d leave destruction in your path, and I’d be your willing victim. 💞🫠💞
For me, the book should have ended at 58% after chapter 23. A slightly open ending with the outlook that of course it's a HEA and nothing would get in the way of the relationship might have done the story some good. Because at that point, I was super super happy.
With the moon lending its soft glow through the window, Lucky falls asleep. And I learn what it is to cradle a firefly in my palms. 💞🫠💞
These would be the perfect closing sentences for me. After that ... well the story is still wonderful and I love the glimpses you get into Ellis and Lucky's lives and dates, but it's all just too much.
The sex scenes are wonderful in themselves. Like the whole book, they are extremely emotional in their flowery writing and I love that. There aren't that many sex scenes and anyone who knows me knows that I rarely complain about too much sex. Well, there's not really too much sex, but I just don't think it really fits.
The narration of Ellis and Lucky is so tenderhearted, the love that develops between the two is like something insanely precious and I just feel like this story would have done better with cuddling scenes.
And then ... Oh my goodness! That was so cheesy! The ending couldn't have been cheesier.
Of course, we all read these books because we love romance and because it simply gives us a good feeling to watch fictional characters twirling around and falling in love. But too much is too much ... The proposal was perfect, I don't need to see the wedding and I don't need an epilogue that's even cheesier than everything before it.
Crap, now I haven't said anything positive, even though I loved this story.
So, in case it wasn't clear, I think this story is really adorable, the way it's told is really lovely and the idea behind the differences in Lucky and Ellis' personalities are absolutely perfect.
I think it was at thirteen that I first felt my heart beat for you. And break, just a little. Because I knew, like that tornado, you’d leave destruction in your path, and I’d be your willing victim. 💞🫠💞
April 29, 2024
Ok I’m so conflicted right now!!! I was so into the first half of the book and then once they got together I sort of wanted the book to be over. The realization of mutual feelings was such a let down. It all happened so fast and ruined the buildup that was happening. The second half really lost steam and stalled out. This was looking like it was going to be a four star read for me but I’m too disappointed at how everything turned out to rate higher than three stars. I wish we would’ve gotten more romance but I feel like there were endless sex scenes instead. Lucky and Ellis are so sweet. Sweetness overload & continuous purple prose soured my feelings on this book too. Ellis working as a corn farmer wasn’t the reason that the book started to feel too corny.🫣 The whole firefly concept was about as subtle as a hammer to the head. I wanted some contrast because it became too monotonous. I promise I didn’t hate this though!!! Here I go…off to name the things I did really like… The characters were lovable & the sense of place so easy to feel!!! I really have quite the craving for some corn right now or to like run through a field or hang out with some horses idk!!! For a love story sold as being epic and all consuming, I didn’t quite feel their love as strongly in the end as I had hoped. But I did love the first half with the pining & the glances & when there felt like there was more plot & story progression.
March 18, 2024
So beautiful 🥹🥹🥹🥹
This story made my heart ache, made me cry so much, and made me ridiculously happy. Couldn't ask for anything more.
Ellis is such a beautiful character and Lucky really did feel like someone who embraces every single part of life.
What really got me though, and made me bawl my eyes out, was Ellis's mum talking to Lucky about how Ellis is neurodivergent and perfect as he is. My six year old is autistic, completely non verbal and extremely developmentally delayed, but he is such a happy kid and is totally perfect as he is. The fact that this author understands that being autistic or not talking etc. doesn't mean you need to be fixed to be 'normal' was absolutely everything to me ❤️.
This story made my heart ache, made me cry so much, and made me ridiculously happy. Couldn't ask for anything more.
Ellis is such a beautiful character and Lucky really did feel like someone who embraces every single part of life.
What really got me though, and made me bawl my eyes out, was Ellis's mum talking to Lucky about how Ellis is neurodivergent and perfect as he is. My six year old is autistic, completely non verbal and extremely developmentally delayed, but he is such a happy kid and is totally perfect as he is. The fact that this author understands that being autistic or not talking etc. doesn't mean you need to be fixed to be 'normal' was absolutely everything to me ❤️.
June 18, 2024
4.5 ⭐️ my heart has left my chest with this book.
childhood friends to lovers.
it’s always been you.
small-town.
slowburn.
and so much more i cannot even begin to explain.
“we’re not done. we’ll never be done. me and you, we don’t have an ending.” 🩷
childhood friends to lovers.
it’s always been you.
small-town.
slowburn.
and so much more i cannot even begin to explain.
“we’re not done. we’ll never be done. me and you, we don’t have an ending.” 🩷
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February 27, 2024
2.25 ✰
this was an okay childhood-friends-to-lovers story.
lucky and el have a very solid friendship that was very sweet; just hate that it took them years to realize and admit they are in love with each other and then when they finally do get together everything goes at warp speed between them which i guess makes sense given they’ve been best friends since they were kids, it was effortless for them to transition into a lovers relationship. i think i wanted to see more of them in this new dynamic and explore more of that and a little less of the physical between them, but they did have their cute and intimate moments.
this was an okay childhood-friends-to-lovers story.
lucky and el have a very solid friendship that was very sweet; just hate that it took them years to realize and admit they are in love with each other and then when they finally do get together everything goes at warp speed between them which i guess makes sense given they’ve been best friends since they were kids, it was effortless for them to transition into a lovers relationship. i think i wanted to see more of them in this new dynamic and explore more of that and a little less of the physical between them, but they did have their cute and intimate moments.
February 9, 2024
The angst... The pining... The sheer magnetism between these two... There are absolutely no words to express how utterly perfect Ellis and Lucky are. Seriously none.
"You say I'm your firefly?"
I nod. Yes.
"Well you're my goddamn moon, Ellis. You call, I come."
"I...I never asked for that."
"You didn't have to."
To Catch a Firefly was everything and I don't think I'll ever fully recover.
"You say I'm your firefly?"
I nod. Yes.
"Well you're my goddamn moon, Ellis. You call, I come."
"I...I never asked for that."
"You didn't have to."
To Catch a Firefly was everything and I don't think I'll ever fully recover.
February 24, 2024
2.5 stars rounded up.
I am not going to agree with the majority of you so please don’t @ me if you disagree with me. Some people recently have decided to vocally disagree with my negative reviews of popular books and that will get you blocked real fast. Scroll past if you take issue.
I envy those of you who are still starry eyed enough readers to love this as much as so many of you did. Unfortunately I am jaded and have read too many books by really good authors.
*Spoilers ahead I’m not hiding*
First, I’ll highlight what I did like since ya’ll know my list of dislikes will be long…
I loved Ellis. I liked how his neurodivergence was portrayed though the literal acknowledgment of it didn’t happen on page until like, 80%. The whole speech Lucky had with Ellis’s mom about it so late in the book was… actually kind of bizarre and out of place.
I liked the first half of the book. I liked their childhood and the build up to when they were adults. It had me pretty sucked in.
I have a love/hate feeling toward the pining. Because it lasted as long as it did because of miscommunication... Ugh. But Ellis’s emails were sweet.
The tornado stuff was neat and I haven’t read that yet. As someone who lives in the county that statistically gets the most tornado touchdowns in the country (it’s actually in Colorado if you can believe that), the inclusion of that very real reality for my neighbor Nebraska was neat.
The prom thing at the end was sweet. So was the epilogue.
Unfortunately I think that’s where my likes stopped.
Dislikes-
The physical relationship with Danil was 100% completely unnecessary and I don’t understand why the author even bothered to include it. And his confession on LUCKY’S WEDDING DAY.. like. What. 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
There are constant important moment interruptions which is a very juvenile plot device.
Drama because of miscommunication is also a juvenile plot device and while it wasn’t huge, it happened a few times and the author used Ellis’s selective mutism as to why that happens… which brings me to…
Those miscommunications happened because Ellis couldn’t verbally communicate things, but he types out things to Gabby when he’s struggling, then in the last 20% of the book, he does it for Lucky. But the first 80% of the book he doesn’t? Why? Because the author needed the cheap miscommunication plot device.
I felt like the book was done by 60%. The rest of the book didn’t really further their relationship and felt like filler. I actually skimmed a ton of it.
The fact that they live in a small town in Nebraska and there is NO touching on the fact that Nebraska, especially small town Nebraska, is rampantly homophobic. I’m not saying there needs to be hate crimes but for everyone in the little town to just… accept them is laughably unrealistic.
The sex is LAME-O. Ellis is autistic and a virgin and never watched porn or touched anyone else but he just dives in when they start having a physical relationship and there’s no… awe of discovery? Awkwardness? It read like he was a pro and it was weird. And the scenes themselves were just really lackluster. I skimmed the last couple.
In general, I just felt very meh about Lucky in the second half. In the first half I was sold on Ellis’s view of Lucky but by the time the confessions happened I was just… eh.
This is the biggest issue though… I’ve read this book before. 🤷🏻 To me, it was wholly unoriginal. I could pull actual story lines and plots and be like “oh hey, this was in that book by this other author” or “this is very copy/paste childhood friends to lovers.” I AM NOT saying this is plagiarized lol. I’m just saying there were ideas used that were very similar to other books I’ve read.
And finally, and the nail in the coffin, is that I didn’t feel the depth I think everyone else did. Maybe it was because of how little angst there was or the juvenile plot devices, or the confessions happening so early, but something about this felt very surface level.
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t for me what most people are raving about. No one is shocked I didn’t love a very popular book. 😂
I’m happy most of ya’ll loved it but I think this cemented for me why I have avoided this author up until now. 🫡
I am not going to agree with the majority of you so please don’t @ me if you disagree with me. Some people recently have decided to vocally disagree with my negative reviews of popular books and that will get you blocked real fast. Scroll past if you take issue.
I envy those of you who are still starry eyed enough readers to love this as much as so many of you did. Unfortunately I am jaded and have read too many books by really good authors.
*Spoilers ahead I’m not hiding*
First, I’ll highlight what I did like since ya’ll know my list of dislikes will be long…
I loved Ellis. I liked how his neurodivergence was portrayed though the literal acknowledgment of it didn’t happen on page until like, 80%. The whole speech Lucky had with Ellis’s mom about it so late in the book was… actually kind of bizarre and out of place.
I liked the first half of the book. I liked their childhood and the build up to when they were adults. It had me pretty sucked in.
I have a love/hate feeling toward the pining. Because it lasted as long as it did because of miscommunication... Ugh. But Ellis’s emails were sweet.
The tornado stuff was neat and I haven’t read that yet. As someone who lives in the county that statistically gets the most tornado touchdowns in the country (it’s actually in Colorado if you can believe that), the inclusion of that very real reality for my neighbor Nebraska was neat.
The prom thing at the end was sweet. So was the epilogue.
Unfortunately I think that’s where my likes stopped.
Dislikes-
The physical relationship with Danil was 100% completely unnecessary and I don’t understand why the author even bothered to include it. And his confession on LUCKY’S WEDDING DAY.. like. What. 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
There are constant important moment interruptions which is a very juvenile plot device.
Drama because of miscommunication is also a juvenile plot device and while it wasn’t huge, it happened a few times and the author used Ellis’s selective mutism as to why that happens… which brings me to…
Those miscommunications happened because Ellis couldn’t verbally communicate things, but he types out things to Gabby when he’s struggling, then in the last 20% of the book, he does it for Lucky. But the first 80% of the book he doesn’t? Why? Because the author needed the cheap miscommunication plot device.
I felt like the book was done by 60%. The rest of the book didn’t really further their relationship and felt like filler. I actually skimmed a ton of it.
The fact that they live in a small town in Nebraska and there is NO touching on the fact that Nebraska, especially small town Nebraska, is rampantly homophobic. I’m not saying there needs to be hate crimes but for everyone in the little town to just… accept them is laughably unrealistic.
The sex is LAME-O. Ellis is autistic and a virgin and never watched porn or touched anyone else but he just dives in when they start having a physical relationship and there’s no… awe of discovery? Awkwardness? It read like he was a pro and it was weird. And the scenes themselves were just really lackluster. I skimmed the last couple.
In general, I just felt very meh about Lucky in the second half. In the first half I was sold on Ellis’s view of Lucky but by the time the confessions happened I was just… eh.
This is the biggest issue though… I’ve read this book before. 🤷🏻 To me, it was wholly unoriginal. I could pull actual story lines and plots and be like “oh hey, this was in that book by this other author” or “this is very copy/paste childhood friends to lovers.” I AM NOT saying this is plagiarized lol. I’m just saying there were ideas used that were very similar to other books I’ve read.
And finally, and the nail in the coffin, is that I didn’t feel the depth I think everyone else did. Maybe it was because of how little angst there was or the juvenile plot devices, or the confessions happening so early, but something about this felt very surface level.
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t for me what most people are raving about. No one is shocked I didn’t love a very popular book. 😂
I’m happy most of ya’ll loved it but I think this cemented for me why I have avoided this author up until now. 🫡
February 13, 2024
I hope the sound of my ugly sobbing haunts Emmy in her sleep because what. the. actual. fuck. 😭🩵
This is the most BEAUTIFUL TENDER ROMANTIC LOVING book I have ever read. Ever.
Emmy truly out did herself with this one because this has just become my favorite book EVER.
I don’t even know how to formulate words after this? Other than it’s unbelievably perfect in every way. I’m not even going to try to be honest because there’s no words. Just tears and more tears and so much happiness.
Ellis is the perfect romantic that Lucky has been wanting and needing.
“Lucky wasn’t mine to covet, mine to have. And yet here he is. Somehow, mine, by his own choosing. Mine to hold and treasure and cherish. Mine to love freely.”
All the stars and then some.
I received this arc and this is my honest review
This is the most BEAUTIFUL TENDER ROMANTIC LOVING book I have ever read. Ever.
Emmy truly out did herself with this one because this has just become my favorite book EVER.
I don’t even know how to formulate words after this? Other than it’s unbelievably perfect in every way. I’m not even going to try to be honest because there’s no words. Just tears and more tears and so much happiness.
Ellis is the perfect romantic that Lucky has been wanting and needing.
“Lucky wasn’t mine to covet, mine to have. And yet here he is. Somehow, mine, by his own choosing. Mine to hold and treasure and cherish. Mine to love freely.”
All the stars and then some.
I received this arc and this is my honest review
March 14, 2024
This was.... incredibly boring and corny.
I made the mistake of being lazy about choosing my next book and just grabbed one I saw mentioned a lot recently for being "so emotional."
Well, if this book is emotional then I'm dead inside.
It was too corny for me. The writing was subpar, the sex scenes were not great, and the meaning behind the title is not so subtly drilled into you by hitting you over the head with a mallet throughout the book. Exaggerations and dramatics. Teenagers talking and thinking like adults, new adults acting like they're wise old men, and one my least favorite tools: the dreaded epilogue told from the child's point of view. Yuck.
I can enjoy childhood friends to lovers, but you have to give me more than boys from a small town, one wants to stay and one wants to leave and 'see the world.' Where was the angst? Being upset because your friend is getting a job after college (a totally unrealistic bullshit job as well) and isn't going to stay in town. That's not angsty, that's part of being a young/new adult.
The sudden close friend (working with someone for 6 months qualifies as new besties) whom the MC is also casually sleeping with felt like a cheap plot point. I have to assume the author is going to have a book about that character (Danil), otherwise he served no purpose. He does the classic inappropriate crossing lines, but not really, gung-ho supporting, possibly jealous, what a flat character. The cherry on that shit sundae was the speech minutes before the wedding, on page 294/313:
“You know,” Danil says slowly. “I think if I ever could have felt more for someone, it would have been you.” I look at him in surprise, pulse hitching. “Dani…”
Lol, what? Fuck off.
Where was the character growth or maturity? Chapter after chapter is spent on their childhood, and then the MCs reminisce about it on-page, why? We just read about it five seconds ago. Yawn.
Yes, there was a neurodivergent MC, we are told suddenly he's autistic at the 80% point in a weird speech by the mother. The most I can say about this is that it wasn't bad rep and it wasn't a plot manipulation. But you can say "autistic", it doesn't need to be a late reveal, and you don't need to pussyfoot around it either.
Eye-roll inducing moments:
• “But we’re not done,” he says vehemently, stepping into my space. “We’ll never be done. Me and you, we don’t have an ending.” (This has been highlighted 346 times, I shit you not. I weep.)
• But we’re not boys anymore, are we? The world spins, and with it, we move forward.
• I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me. And in a few days, I’ll finally watch him fly away. (OH, big title reveal. Do you get it now? He's a firefly. Just in case you forget, it's mentioned a dozen more times, even in the craptastic epilogue by the child, she catches a firefly. Side note: have you ever seen a firefly? They are ugly as fuck, gross-looking insects. Highlighted 367 times. Aww.)
• Still, it’s always a bit of a shock stepping into his three-bedroom home with world-class views and trying to reconcile that level of wealth with my coworker who has no problem following me into grimy caves or along three-day hiking trails for our assignments at the magazine. Heck, he’s usually the first one leaping into semi-danger. (People with money don't do adventure? LOL, okay.)
• “He’s your anchor,” Danil says quietly. “No,” I whisper, my eyes lifting to the full moon. “He doesn’t fight the tide. He controls it.” (A waterbender? Or the moon? They named their daughter Luna, FYI.)
• We’re quiet for a while after that, and try as I might, there are no crickets to be heard. Not here. (Oh, well that's shocking that you can't hear crickets in a highrise apartment in NYC.)
• I think it was at thirteen that I first felt my heart beat for you. And break, just a little. Because I knew, like that tornado, you’d leave destruction in your path, and I’d be your willing victim. 🙄 🌪️💀
• Attraction can be swift, instantaneous and all-consuming, like wildfire. It can be slowly crafted and tended to over time, an ever-changing canvas, brush strokes built over one another until the picture is clear. It can be lost, I think, for some. 🙄
• We hold onto the memories from our past, don’t we? We cling to the pieces that made the whole of us, good or bad. Because if we don’t…if we don’t keep them close…we might lose that part of who we are. 🙄
• A single firefly blinks nearby, so faint in the waning evening sun, I nearly miss it. (Just stop with the fucking fireflies.)
• But it’s also something more. Something that has yet to settle into the dirt. A seed, so full of possibilities it’s blinding, yet fragile and new, not yet sowed into the earth. It could still fly away, that seed, taken by the wind before it has a chance to grow. 🙄
• I fill Lucky’s body, not a single barrier between us, and for just a moment, I revel in that fact. An archaic satisfaction, for sure. (An archaic satisfaction...🤣)
• Ten-year-old me would have been appalled to know I never escaped the land of corn. But twenty-six-year-old me is older and wiser. He has life experience under his belt and a whole collection of memories from around the world. (And the icing on the cake: the worldly, mature twenty-six-year-old who has spent all of four years in the real world.)
The tornadoes were cool! The glass blowing and art would have been cool too, if it wasn't in your face every other chapter. One MC travels the world after immediately landing his dream photojournalist job, and the other MC stays in the corn town and makes glass sculptures of the worldly traveler's descriptions.
I finished this with dry eyes and zero emotions, unless agitation counts?
I made the mistake of being lazy about choosing my next book and just grabbed one I saw mentioned a lot recently for being "so emotional."
Well, if this book is emotional then I'm dead inside.
It was too corny for me. The writing was subpar, the sex scenes were not great, and the meaning behind the title is not so subtly drilled into you by hitting you over the head with a mallet throughout the book. Exaggerations and dramatics. Teenagers talking and thinking like adults, new adults acting like they're wise old men, and one my least favorite tools: the dreaded epilogue told from the child's point of view. Yuck.
I can enjoy childhood friends to lovers, but you have to give me more than boys from a small town, one wants to stay and one wants to leave and 'see the world.' Where was the angst? Being upset because your friend is getting a job after college (a totally unrealistic bullshit job as well) and isn't going to stay in town. That's not angsty, that's part of being a young/new adult.
The sudden close friend (working with someone for 6 months qualifies as new besties) whom the MC is also casually sleeping with felt like a cheap plot point. I have to assume the author is going to have a book about that character (Danil), otherwise he served no purpose. He does the classic inappropriate crossing lines, but not really, gung-ho supporting, possibly jealous, what a flat character. The cherry on that shit sundae was the speech minutes before the wedding, on page 294/313:
“You know,” Danil says slowly. “I think if I ever could have felt more for someone, it would have been you.” I look at him in surprise, pulse hitching. “Dani…”
Lol, what? Fuck off.
Where was the character growth or maturity? Chapter after chapter is spent on their childhood, and then the MCs reminisce about it on-page, why? We just read about it five seconds ago. Yawn.
Yes, there was a neurodivergent MC, we are told suddenly he's autistic at the 80% point in a weird speech by the mother. The most I can say about this is that it wasn't bad rep and it wasn't a plot manipulation. But you can say "autistic", it doesn't need to be a late reveal, and you don't need to pussyfoot around it either.
Eye-roll inducing moments:
• “But we’re not done,” he says vehemently, stepping into my space. “We’ll never be done. Me and you, we don’t have an ending.” (This has been highlighted 346 times, I shit you not. I weep.)
• But we’re not boys anymore, are we? The world spins, and with it, we move forward.
• I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me. And in a few days, I’ll finally watch him fly away. (OH, big title reveal. Do you get it now? He's a firefly. Just in case you forget, it's mentioned a dozen more times, even in the craptastic epilogue by the child, she catches a firefly. Side note: have you ever seen a firefly? They are ugly as fuck, gross-looking insects. Highlighted 367 times. Aww.)
• Still, it’s always a bit of a shock stepping into his three-bedroom home with world-class views and trying to reconcile that level of wealth with my coworker who has no problem following me into grimy caves or along three-day hiking trails for our assignments at the magazine. Heck, he’s usually the first one leaping into semi-danger. (People with money don't do adventure? LOL, okay.)
• “He’s your anchor,” Danil says quietly. “No,” I whisper, my eyes lifting to the full moon. “He doesn’t fight the tide. He controls it.” (A waterbender? Or the moon? They named their daughter Luna, FYI.)
• We’re quiet for a while after that, and try as I might, there are no crickets to be heard. Not here. (Oh, well that's shocking that you can't hear crickets in a highrise apartment in NYC.)
• I think it was at thirteen that I first felt my heart beat for you. And break, just a little. Because I knew, like that tornado, you’d leave destruction in your path, and I’d be your willing victim. 🙄 🌪️💀
• Attraction can be swift, instantaneous and all-consuming, like wildfire. It can be slowly crafted and tended to over time, an ever-changing canvas, brush strokes built over one another until the picture is clear. It can be lost, I think, for some. 🙄
• We hold onto the memories from our past, don’t we? We cling to the pieces that made the whole of us, good or bad. Because if we don’t…if we don’t keep them close…we might lose that part of who we are. 🙄
• A single firefly blinks nearby, so faint in the waning evening sun, I nearly miss it. (Just stop with the fucking fireflies.)
• But it’s also something more. Something that has yet to settle into the dirt. A seed, so full of possibilities it’s blinding, yet fragile and new, not yet sowed into the earth. It could still fly away, that seed, taken by the wind before it has a chance to grow. 🙄
• I fill Lucky’s body, not a single barrier between us, and for just a moment, I revel in that fact. An archaic satisfaction, for sure. (An archaic satisfaction...🤣)
• Ten-year-old me would have been appalled to know I never escaped the land of corn. But twenty-six-year-old me is older and wiser. He has life experience under his belt and a whole collection of memories from around the world. (And the icing on the cake: the worldly, mature twenty-six-year-old who has spent all of four years in the real world.)
The tornadoes were cool! The glass blowing and art would have been cool too, if it wasn't in your face every other chapter. One MC travels the world after immediately landing his dream photojournalist job, and the other MC stays in the corn town and makes glass sculptures of the worldly traveler's descriptions.
I finished this with dry eyes and zero emotions, unless agitation counts?
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January 8, 2025
To Catch a Firefly is a stand alone MM romance by Emmy Sanders. This is my first book by Emmy. I was STRONGLY urged to read this by two of my friends who actually followed along with me even though they’ve already read it. I don’t really know where to start in explaining this book to you. The writing was so lyrical, almost like poetry, to me anyway. The love between these two so huge. I finished it late last night and this morning when I went over my highlights and re-read the blurb, I got even more emotional than last night. Not sad but a happy emotional. Because this isn’t a sad book. It’s a book so filled with love my heart feels like it’s expanding to hold it all in.
Ellis Cole was ten years old when Lucky Buchanan moved in next door to him. They were completely opposite. Lucky was outgoing, talked non-stop, adventurous. Ellis rarely spoke and was introverted. But the minute they met, that was it. They were best friends. Lucky heard Ellis, even though he didn’t speak. He just understood him in a way no one did. They were inseparable growing up.
In time, though, those feelings changed. Lucky knew he was gay. They both developed bigger feelings towards each other but neither ever wanted to risk their friendship by admitting it. Ellis knew from the start that Lucky was destined for big things, things that would take him away from their tiny Nebraska town. He accepted it and knew he had to soak up everything Lucky was before he flew away from him.
“He’s always been wild, my firefly.”
The first half of the book was hard for me because they both had such huge feelings. I had such huge feelings. But then it happened. And everything changed.
“I should have known kissing Ellis would rearrange my world.”
This book is an experience, it’s a journey. It is so uniquely told. It takes you through their lives from age ten to the present. I couldn’t put it down and loved having my friends share their highlights and emotions with me chapter by chapter as I went through it. It’s a love story like no other. One that I feel like I’m a better person after reading it. If that makes sense. I don’t know that I’ll ever forget Ellis and Lucky. I don’t really want to. There is a very short bonus chapter that you need to be sure to download. It was perfection. I’ll close here because I just don’t know what else to say except that you need this book in your life. You need Ellis and Lucky. I hope you love them just as much as I did.
“We’ll never be done. Me and you, we don’t have an ending.”
For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
February 24, 2024
Sweet and almost unbearably romantic. And I was all for it 🥰
There’s a reason why this book is all over my goodreads feed. It’s full of longing, of pining. Is romantic. It has two main characters that are unique enough to stand out from the usual archetypes
It soothes your soul.
It’s the story of Ellis and Lucky. Ellis is different, he’s on the neurodivergent spectrum, and he rarely speaks, but as a reader, we’re part of his rich, colourful, intense mind.
As a kid, he becomes friends with Lucky, who lives next door. Lucky, who’s a bit wild, who’s bright like a firefly, and who understands Ellis without him having to talk. Lucky, who’s the “gay kid” in rural Nebraska, who dreams of leaving, of travelling the world, of becoming a professional photographer.
The book spans 16 years, because at some point, Lucky leaves, encouraged by Ellis who wants him to chase his dreams, even though he’s afraid of losing his best friend, his only love. Because yes, they both fall in love early on, but don’t address it, both afraid to ruin the special friendship they have.
It’s so beautiful. I’ve rarely highlighted so many paragraphs in a book, because they’re so romantic, so poetic, that I didn’t want to lose them. Read it if you long for something that’s like a balm for you soul.
Some of the aforementioned text passages I loved:
“If you ever decide to love someone,” he says slowly, “they’ll be very lucky.” He already is.
(…)
“He’s your anchor,” Danil says quietly. “No,” I whisper, my eyes lifting to the full moon. “He doesn’t fight the tide. He controls it.”
(…)
“Have you ever wanted someone so much,” I say slowly, “that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you’re away from them? Like you’re half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you’re in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because… because they’re your home. They’re part of you. Your beginning and your never-ending. How? How do I move on from that?”
(…)
I’m so glad you’re my best friend, El. Even if it took us a few extra trips to get to where we are now, I’m so glad it was you. Is you. Will be you.”
(…)
It’s yes and of course and we’re going to be so happy, you just wait and see. It’s sixteen years of Hi. What’s your name? Mine’s Lucky. It’s knowing no matter how much more time passes, this is my person, and I am his, and we’re bound together by fate or choice or, hell, corn for all I know.
There’s a reason why this book is all over my goodreads feed. It’s full of longing, of pining. Is romantic. It has two main characters that are unique enough to stand out from the usual archetypes
It soothes your soul.
It’s the story of Ellis and Lucky. Ellis is different, he’s on the neurodivergent spectrum, and he rarely speaks, but as a reader, we’re part of his rich, colourful, intense mind.
As a kid, he becomes friends with Lucky, who lives next door. Lucky, who’s a bit wild, who’s bright like a firefly, and who understands Ellis without him having to talk. Lucky, who’s the “gay kid” in rural Nebraska, who dreams of leaving, of travelling the world, of becoming a professional photographer.
The book spans 16 years, because at some point, Lucky leaves, encouraged by Ellis who wants him to chase his dreams, even though he’s afraid of losing his best friend, his only love. Because yes, they both fall in love early on, but don’t address it, both afraid to ruin the special friendship they have.
It’s so beautiful. I’ve rarely highlighted so many paragraphs in a book, because they’re so romantic, so poetic, that I didn’t want to lose them. Read it if you long for something that’s like a balm for you soul.
Some of the aforementioned text passages I loved:
“If you ever decide to love someone,” he says slowly, “they’ll be very lucky.” He already is.
(…)
“He’s your anchor,” Danil says quietly. “No,” I whisper, my eyes lifting to the full moon. “He doesn’t fight the tide. He controls it.”
(…)
“Have you ever wanted someone so much,” I say slowly, “that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you’re away from them? Like you’re half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you’re in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because… because they’re your home. They’re part of you. Your beginning and your never-ending. How? How do I move on from that?”
(…)
I’m so glad you’re my best friend, El. Even if it took us a few extra trips to get to where we are now, I’m so glad it was you. Is you. Will be you.”
(…)
It’s yes and of course and we’re going to be so happy, you just wait and see. It’s sixteen years of Hi. What’s your name? Mine’s Lucky. It’s knowing no matter how much more time passes, this is my person, and I am his, and we’re bound together by fate or choice or, hell, corn for all I know.
Read
February 27, 2024DNF
I am so bummed. 😞
I started this book nearly a week ago but had to set it aside due to a busy schedule and exhaustion at the end of the day. Now that things have calmed down, I lack the motivation to pick it back up.
Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad story. I'm certain it will resonate with many of my friends as a light-hearted and emotionally engaging read. However, it lacks the grittiness that keeps me going.
The storyline didn't captivate me enough with its "sick-sad-mon" trope serving as a barrier to the characters' happiness. It's a flimsy conflict. As a result, I've decided to throw in the towel and move on.
I am so bummed. 😞
I started this book nearly a week ago but had to set it aside due to a busy schedule and exhaustion at the end of the day. Now that things have calmed down, I lack the motivation to pick it back up.
Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad story. I'm certain it will resonate with many of my friends as a light-hearted and emotionally engaging read. However, it lacks the grittiness that keeps me going.
The storyline didn't captivate me enough with its "sick-sad-mon" trope serving as a barrier to the characters' happiness. It's a flimsy conflict. As a result, I've decided to throw in the towel and move on.
February 26, 2024
4.5
One of those romances that will squeeze ur heart and wont let go until the very last page. It was just so sweet. 🫶🏽😭
Full of longing & miscommunication but worth it
Neurodivergent mc
Childhood bestfriends to lovers
Sn : need Danils story
One of those romances that will squeeze ur heart and wont let go until the very last page. It was just so sweet. 🫶🏽😭
Full of longing & miscommunication but worth it
Neurodivergent mc
Childhood bestfriends to lovers
Sn : need Danils story
April 1, 2024
For the most part, I really liked this. I liked the writing and the characters and the plot, and thought all of that was really lovely to read. I really liked the beginning and the end.
I just didn't love the middle. A lot of miscommunication that felt forced and did not at all feel realistic for the characters.. I also thought the miscommunication lasted way too long. The author spends the entire beginning of the book showing us their friendship and how close they are, then jumps immediately to a miscommunication that lasts years, it didn't at all seem realistic for best friends who talk on the phone for hours every night. If it had lasted months I would have believed it, but several years was unbelievable, and also frustrating.
As much as that frustrated me, still four stars because I absolutely loved the moment their miscommunication got resolved and I really liked the writing, I enjoyed reading it and even had moments I got emotional reading it, so I'd still overall say it was good.
I just didn't love the middle. A lot of miscommunication that felt forced and did not at all feel realistic for the characters.. I also thought the miscommunication lasted way too long. The author spends the entire beginning of the book showing us their friendship and how close they are, then jumps immediately to a miscommunication that lasts years, it didn't at all seem realistic for best friends who talk on the phone for hours every night. If it had lasted months I would have believed it, but several years was unbelievable, and also frustrating.
As much as that frustrated me, still four stars because I absolutely loved the moment their miscommunication got resolved and I really liked the writing, I enjoyed reading it and even had moments I got emotional reading it, so I'd still overall say it was good.
February 24, 2024
You know when a book makes you melt into the floorboards and believe in a forever kind of love … no? You should read this.
THE PREMISE: two best friends who will always find each other.
TROPES & VIBES:
- MM small town romance
- Slowburn
- Best friends to lovers
- ‘We’re actually dating and having realised it’
- Neurodiversity rep (autism)
- Love letter emails that he doesn’t send (one of my fave microtropes)
- Beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous writing
4.75⭐️ 3🌶️
THE PREMISE: two best friends who will always find each other.
TROPES & VIBES:
- MM small town romance
- Slowburn
- Best friends to lovers
- ‘We’re actually dating and having realised it’
- Neurodiversity rep (autism)
- Love letter emails that he doesn’t send (one of my fave microtropes)
- Beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous writing
4.75⭐️ 3🌶️
February 17, 2024
a punch in the face would’ve hurt less than the broken jars explanation
February 25, 2025
♾️⭐️
Ellis + Lucky 🖤🖤🖤
SWOON. LOVE. ADORE.
The most beautiful love story I've ever read.
But also, fuck you Danil
....
"Have you ever wanted someone so much that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you're away from them? Like you're half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you're in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because... because they're your home. They're a part of you. You're beginning and your never-ending."
"My Ellis is kissing me."
"It's a need, visceral and embedded down to my bones. I want him to splinter apart in my arms. I want to give him what he needs, want to be what he needs, what he wants, what he craves with every fiber of his being because he's that for me. He's not just a crush. He never was.
"He's gorgeous, every inch of him. I could stare for hours, days, a lifetime, and never get bored. I never thought I'd have the chance to."
"It's not lost on me that I'm finally touching the only person who's ever played a starring role in my fantasies. My dreams have nothing on reality."
"With the moon lending its soft glow through the window, Lucky falls asleep. And I learn what it is to cradle a firefly in my palms."
"It's that feeling of home I've only ever had with him. It's the rumbling of mountains and the kiss of wind through the fields and it's love. God, it's it love, wholly, pure, and absolute."
"Do you want to know what the most remarkable thing in my life is?" "It's you."
....
*make sure to read the bonus epilogue*
⚠️ potential spoilers below in detailed tropes and triggers
Also spoilery swooning ahead
The emails, the silo, the windmill, the blue glass heart, the blue paint, the prom sign and wedding sign. 🥺🥺🥺
Fireflies and the moon . 🥺🥺🥺
That Ellis bought the windmill house 🥺🥺
Tropes:
Childhood best friends to lovers
Asexual MC
Selective mutism
First times
Each other's first kiss
Size difference
Ellis loves carrying Lucky
Car sex
Mentions of switching but strict roles on page
Slow burn
TWs:
Chronic illness in side character
Multiple sclerosis
Absent parent
Absent parent death and funeral
Mention of cancer
Ellis + Lucky 🖤🖤🖤
SWOON. LOVE. ADORE.
The most beautiful love story I've ever read.
But also, fuck you Danil
....
"Have you ever wanted someone so much that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you're away from them? Like you're half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you're in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because... because they're your home. They're a part of you. You're beginning and your never-ending."
"My Ellis is kissing me."
"It's a need, visceral and embedded down to my bones. I want him to splinter apart in my arms. I want to give him what he needs, want to be what he needs, what he wants, what he craves with every fiber of his being because he's that for me. He's not just a crush. He never was.
"He's gorgeous, every inch of him. I could stare for hours, days, a lifetime, and never get bored. I never thought I'd have the chance to."
"It's not lost on me that I'm finally touching the only person who's ever played a starring role in my fantasies. My dreams have nothing on reality."
"With the moon lending its soft glow through the window, Lucky falls asleep. And I learn what it is to cradle a firefly in my palms."
"It's that feeling of home I've only ever had with him. It's the rumbling of mountains and the kiss of wind through the fields and it's love. God, it's it love, wholly, pure, and absolute."
"Do you want to know what the most remarkable thing in my life is?" "It's you."
....
*make sure to read the bonus epilogue*
⚠️ potential spoilers below in detailed tropes and triggers
Also spoilery swooning ahead
The emails, the silo, the windmill, the blue glass heart, the blue paint, the prom sign and wedding sign. 🥺🥺🥺
Fireflies and the moon . 🥺🥺🥺
That Ellis bought the windmill house 🥺🥺
Tropes:
Childhood best friends to lovers
Asexual MC
Selective mutism
First times
Each other's first kiss
Size difference
Ellis loves carrying Lucky
Car sex
Mentions of switching but strict roles on page
Slow burn
TWs:
Chronic illness in side character
Multiple sclerosis
Absent parent
Absent parent death and funeral
Mention of cancer
February 23, 2025
Fiza's pick for my 25 books from 25 friends for 2025 - Solid start from my list
This is poetry written in the form of a love story.
Let's start off by saying that the narrators for this one did an incredible job.
I might have found myself 2 narrators I would gladly follow.
This love story is pure. It is art, beauty, and a bit of magic too.
It pushes us to reconsider communication in a new light, and see what else speaks for our feelings and how deep connections can go.
It is raw emotions, romance, and friendship.
The pining and true love these share crosses borders, time, and any barriers.
There is only ONE thing I didn't like in the book.
⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️
After Lucky receives El's vows in the form of an email, Danil's monologue and declaration of feelings really cheapened the moment. This could have been done literally anywhere else in the book, why it had to be there is beyond me.
It really took away from the emotions and highlight that were El's vows, and refocused Lucky's emotions and thoughts on someone else instead of his husband-to-be.
This is poetry written in the form of a love story.
Let's start off by saying that the narrators for this one did an incredible job.
I might have found myself 2 narrators I would gladly follow.
This love story is pure. It is art, beauty, and a bit of magic too.
It pushes us to reconsider communication in a new light, and see what else speaks for our feelings and how deep connections can go.
It is raw emotions, romance, and friendship.
The pining and true love these share crosses borders, time, and any barriers.
There is only ONE thing I didn't like in the book.
⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️
After Lucky receives El's vows in the form of an email, Danil's monologue and declaration of feelings really cheapened the moment. This could have been done literally anywhere else in the book, why it had to be there is beyond me.
It really took away from the emotions and highlight that were El's vows, and refocused Lucky's emotions and thoughts on someone else instead of his husband-to-be.
February 26, 2024
This was very lovely. Emotional, heartwarming, lots of pining, verging on too sappy towards the end but it worked. I love to see neurodivergent representation however I felt that there was quite a bit of unnecessary miscommunication that felt fabricated rather than authentic. I found it hard to believe Lucky made the choices he did on numerous occasions knowing that Ellis is on the autism spectrum and having been his best friend him for over 12yrs. I felt like the differences Ellis had were used as a bit of a too obvious plot device at times to steer the story in particular directions and I would have loved this to have been more subtlety done. The way his austism diagnosis is kept quiet and ended up as a plot reveal made me feel unsure if this could have been handled better.
Oh and perhaps a petty gripe was that they talk about switching roles for Ellis’s first time but then this never eventuated. I wouldn’t have minded if they never switched but the fact that they talked about it and then it didn’t happen irked me.
Nevertheless this was a lovely story and one of my favourites from this author. I feel like we might get Danil’s story in the future and he needs a stern talking to about some particular last minute comments.
Oh and perhaps a petty gripe was that they talk about switching roles for Ellis’s first time but then this never eventuated. I wouldn’t have minded if they never switched but the fact that they talked about it and then it didn’t happen irked me.
Nevertheless this was a lovely story and one of my favourites from this author. I feel like we might get Danil’s story in the future and he needs a stern talking to about some particular last minute comments.
February 26, 2024
“Not everyone is going to understand you, Ellis. But it’s not your job to make them.”
It's been a a hot fucking minute since a book made me cry like this one did. It took me by suprise how much this book emotionally effected me, I literally couldn't even talk about it without breaking into tears.
Lucky and Ellis are soul mates. No ifs or buts about it. Their road might have been a long one but it's worth every second. Every little moment lead to the most perfect happy ending and I AM UNWELL. I'll literally never move on from this. (I couldn't even read the quotes for this without crying I am a mess.)
THE SECRET EMAILS TOO LIKE PLZ EMMY STOP I AM BUT A MORTAL
This is Emmys' best writing to date and one of my top 3 reads from her ever. The messaging around autism in this was GORGEOUS. Every neurodivergent child deserves a mum like Ellis'. My only gripe with this was Dani's weird ass wedding confession.... like why was that even in there, i don't understand? ANYWAY THIS IS PRETTY MUCH PERFECT, READ IT!
Ratings
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75
🌶🌶
It's been a a hot fucking minute since a book made me cry like this one did. It took me by suprise how much this book emotionally effected me, I literally couldn't even talk about it without breaking into tears.
Lucky and Ellis are soul mates. No ifs or buts about it. Their road might have been a long one but it's worth every second. Every little moment lead to the most perfect happy ending and I AM UNWELL. I'll literally never move on from this. (I couldn't even read the quotes for this without crying I am a mess.)
THE SECRET EMAILS TOO LIKE PLZ EMMY STOP I AM BUT A MORTAL
This is Emmys' best writing to date and one of my top 3 reads from her ever. The messaging around autism in this was GORGEOUS. Every neurodivergent child deserves a mum like Ellis'. My only gripe with this was Dani's weird ass wedding confession.... like why was that even in there, i don't understand? ANYWAY THIS IS PRETTY MUCH PERFECT, READ IT!
Ratings
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75
🌶🌶
April 20, 2024
This is a beautiful one-of-a-kind romance. I felt every emotion possible and could not get enough of these two as they navigated a beautiful friendship and eventual romance. They are so sweet and loving towards one another that I could not wait for everything to grow and develop. Ellis and Lucky are too precious and I loved getting their love story and seeing their feelings grow, change, and mature in such a loving and heartfelt way.
February 25, 2024
I would have rated this book much higher if I only considered the first 25% and the last 25% parts of the book. I had blurry eyes for most of these parts because their story was just so lovely 🫶
But the middle bit?? It was infuriating, and I truly despise miscommunication trope 🙃
Essentially, a good sandwich with a soggy centre 🥪😌
But the middle bit?? It was infuriating, and I truly despise miscommunication trope 🙃
Essentially, a good sandwich with a soggy centre 🥪😌
January 27, 2025
5/5 ⭐️s - This isn’t just a romance book - it’s a whole love story, and the sweetest one at that. I legit cried happy tears because of how good this book is. The intensity of their love leaps off the pages, and I’m just so grateful I got to experience this beautiful piece of literature 🥹
🦋 The Plot:
Lucky is a free-spirited, extroverted city boy whose family moves to a small farming town in Nebraska. He hates it there - until he meets his neighbor Ellis, a boy his age with selective mutism. They quickly become inseparable. The story is told in dual POV, flipping between milestones from their childhood to the present, where Lucky is traveling the world as a photographer and Ellis is still living in their hometown, working on a farm.
🦋 My Thoughts + Characters:
This story is simply beautiful. Childhood friends to lovers? Easily one of my favorite tropes - maybe my ultimate favorite. What makes it so special is the unshakable friendship between Ellis and Lucky. There’s never a moment where I doubt their love for each other, and that foundation of trust is what makes this story shine. Even though Ellis doesn’t speak much due to his selective mutism, he doesn’t need to. Lucky understands him completely, and you can feel that unspoken bond between them throughout the entire book:
“Not everyone is going to understand you, Ellis. But it’s not your job to make them.”
Ellis loves Lucky just as much. He’s content with his quiet life in their rural town, happy working on the farm, but he doesn’t want to hold Lucky back from exploring the world. And even though it pains him to let Lucky go, he knows he has to. Lucky is his firefly, wild and luminous - and fireflies aren’t meant to be trapped:
“I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me. And in a few days, I’ll finally watch him fly away.”
I usually hate long-distance in books - especially when the characters are apart for what feels like forever, and Ellis can’t speak much? I thought I’d hate it, but it works so well here. Even though they’re half a world apart, their bond is unbreakable. They still talk on the phone, and you can tell they’re constantly thinking of each other. All those unsent emails of Ellis pouring his heart out? Incredible 😭
And don’t even get me started on the love confession! I was screaming the whole way through because I had been waiting so long for it to happen, and when it finally did? Perfection. There’s no miscommunication that drags on, thank god - it gets resolved in just the right way.
Finally, when they’re together for good, everything just clicks. Lucky gets to keep doing what he loves, but now he has Ellis to come home to:
“We’ll never be done. Me and you, we don’t have an ending.”
YES. This book was everything I wanted and more 🙌
————-—————————————————————————-
More quotes I love 💕:
📸 "Have you ever wanted someone so much," I say slowly, "that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you're away from them? Like you're half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you're in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because...because they're your home”
📸 He's the man no one else has ever measured up to.
🦋 The Plot:
Lucky is a free-spirited, extroverted city boy whose family moves to a small farming town in Nebraska. He hates it there - until he meets his neighbor Ellis, a boy his age with selective mutism. They quickly become inseparable. The story is told in dual POV, flipping between milestones from their childhood to the present, where Lucky is traveling the world as a photographer and Ellis is still living in their hometown, working on a farm.
🦋 My Thoughts + Characters:
This story is simply beautiful. Childhood friends to lovers? Easily one of my favorite tropes - maybe my ultimate favorite. What makes it so special is the unshakable friendship between Ellis and Lucky. There’s never a moment where I doubt their love for each other, and that foundation of trust is what makes this story shine. Even though Ellis doesn’t speak much due to his selective mutism, he doesn’t need to. Lucky understands him completely, and you can feel that unspoken bond between them throughout the entire book:
“Not everyone is going to understand you, Ellis. But it’s not your job to make them.”
Ellis loves Lucky just as much. He’s content with his quiet life in their rural town, happy working on the farm, but he doesn’t want to hold Lucky back from exploring the world. And even though it pains him to let Lucky go, he knows he has to. Lucky is his firefly, wild and luminous - and fireflies aren’t meant to be trapped:
“I was ten years old when I met Lucky. I knew it then, and I know it now. He’s a firefly. Luminous and wild. He was never meant to be trapped. Not here and not with me. And in a few days, I’ll finally watch him fly away.”
I usually hate long-distance in books - especially when the characters are apart for what feels like forever, and Ellis can’t speak much? I thought I’d hate it, but it works so well here. Even though they’re half a world apart, their bond is unbreakable. They still talk on the phone, and you can tell they’re constantly thinking of each other. All those unsent emails of Ellis pouring his heart out? Incredible 😭
And don’t even get me started on the love confession! I was screaming the whole way through because I had been waiting so long for it to happen, and when it finally did? Perfection. There’s no miscommunication that drags on, thank god - it gets resolved in just the right way.
Finally, when they’re together for good, everything just clicks. Lucky gets to keep doing what he loves, but now he has Ellis to come home to:
“We’ll never be done. Me and you, we don’t have an ending.”
YES. This book was everything I wanted and more 🙌
————-—————————————————————————-
More quotes I love 💕:
📸 "Have you ever wanted someone so much," I say slowly, "that it feels like your atoms are vibrating when you're away from them? Like you're half of a whole, and your body knows it. And until you're in their arms again, every single piece of you is straining toward them because...because they're your home”
📸 He's the man no one else has ever measured up to.
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