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Open When...
Feeling overwhelmed? Open when… stress takes over.
Facing self-doubt? Open when… imposter syndrome strikes.
Lost your direction? Open when… you need fresh motivation.
This is the book for life's twists and turns, when being human starts to get complicated.
A must-have companion to Dr Julie's international bestseller Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?, which taught us the skills to strengthen our future mental health, Open When... is the book to turn to when you find yourself in the eye of the storm.
Within this book are a series of Open When style letters from Dr Julie to help navigate the moments of overwhelm, confusion or self-doubt that we all face when life gets messy.
Offering calm, clarity and a laser focus on the best way forward, each personal letter is followed by real-time tools that will help you re-frame the situation and decide on your next move.
Every chapter covers a new scenario; universal problems that each of us will likely face at some point. So, whether you’re experiencing:
• Stress
• Pressure to perform
• Dealing with difficult people
• Trying to fit in
• Making big decisions
• Arguments with your partner
• Big emotions causing anxiety
Open When... brings the words you need to hear to get back on the front foot, feeling ready to take on everything life throws your way.
Facing self-doubt? Open when… imposter syndrome strikes.
Lost your direction? Open when… you need fresh motivation.
This is the book for life's twists and turns, when being human starts to get complicated.
A must-have companion to Dr Julie's international bestseller Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?, which taught us the skills to strengthen our future mental health, Open When... is the book to turn to when you find yourself in the eye of the storm.
Within this book are a series of Open When style letters from Dr Julie to help navigate the moments of overwhelm, confusion or self-doubt that we all face when life gets messy.
Offering calm, clarity and a laser focus on the best way forward, each personal letter is followed by real-time tools that will help you re-frame the situation and decide on your next move.
Every chapter covers a new scenario; universal problems that each of us will likely face at some point. So, whether you’re experiencing:
• Stress
• Pressure to perform
• Dealing with difficult people
• Trying to fit in
• Making big decisions
• Arguments with your partner
• Big emotions causing anxiety
Open When... brings the words you need to hear to get back on the front foot, feeling ready to take on everything life throws your way.
380 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 31, 2024
1184 people are currently reading
7523 people want to read
About the author
Julie Smith
11 books803 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist with over a decade of professional experience. She is also an online educator and social media star with a combined following of more than 3 million.Julie launched her Tik Tok account to make her services more accessible; her posts on TikTok and Instagram have already amassed more than 20 million likes. She has appeared in two BBC films and on BBC Breakfast, CNN International and Radio 5 Live and has written for The Mail on Sunday, The Evening Standard and The Daily Telegraph.
Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist with over a decade of professional experience. She is also an online educator and social media star with a combined following of more than 3 million.Julie launched her Tik Tok account to make her services more accessible; her posts on TikTok and Instagram have already amassed more than 20 million likes. She has appeared in two BBC films and on BBC Breakfast, CNN International and Radio 5 Live and has written for The Mail on Sunday, The Evening Standard and The Daily Telegraph.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 159 reviews
March 6, 2025
**Many thanks to HarperOne and Julie Smith for a gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!**
There are many reasons that TikTok has become the sort of cultural mainstay that nobody saw coming. Aside from the silly dance crazes, baking and crafting tips, and clips of everything from fascinating interviews to breathtaking musical performances, there's also been an emergence of mental health professionals 'finding an audience' and making mental health advice accessible to all...with NO copays involved. Dr. Julie Smith is one such psychologist, with her book "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" catapulting her to new heights of popularity.
Despite this internet fame, however, I actually hadn't heard any of Dr. Julie's advice before picking up this book...and now having completed what was ultimately designed to be a companion to her first, I'm wondering if that was a mistake...or perhaps just a happy accident.
The setup is simple and somewhat unique; essentially, Dr. Julie starts each section with a letter to the reader about what to do if you are feeling a certain way or stuck in a certain situation. Feeling like you need a bit of an on-call, specialized therapy session? Well...this book is designed to scratch that very itch. She first 'talks you down' and re-frames the specific problem, and then provides you with practical tools to work through the situation at hand.
This sounds like a simple, stripped down technique, and for good reason: it IS. But unfortunately, brevity acts as a substitute, rather than a supplement, for depth...and leaves much of the advice feeling trite, simple, and 'one size fits all.' This is the kind of self-help book for people who want to go to therapy just to have someone listen to them and say 'mmhm' encouragingly...NOT for someone trying to work through complex trauma or mental health struggles. Granted, writing a book intended for a wide audience lends itself to this in some respect...but I still have found so many other psychologists and self-help authors over the years who felt like they were speaking directly TO me, in ways I had never considered before, whereas this book felt like it offered a lot of pretty common sense advice, like "Don't have bad friends."🙄
I mean, yes. But I don't think any of us SET OUT to make bad friends or to encourage bad behavior to continue. Knowing that many of our problems or struggles are somewhat self inflicted doesn't necessarily help either, particularly for those who already are struggling to fight their demons. Again, this may simply be a personal issue of 'fit' and her advice might feel groundbreaking or life altering for another reader...it just didn't really inspire me or give me any sort of resonant themes to apply to every day life and ALL situations. Again, this is part of the trouble of attempting to write a self help book that covers SO many bases...if you're speeding by them, you don't have the opportunity to stop, stay a while, and make a REAL and lasting impact.
And although any self reflection and stopping to reach for a lifeline in this book's pages rather than jumping to impulsive action is probably a best practice for life in general, what I think this book taught me most of all is that when it comes to therapy, it's as important to be heard as it is to listen...and the best and most impactful communication should always at least FEEL like a true, two way street. 🚗
3.5 stars
There are many reasons that TikTok has become the sort of cultural mainstay that nobody saw coming. Aside from the silly dance crazes, baking and crafting tips, and clips of everything from fascinating interviews to breathtaking musical performances, there's also been an emergence of mental health professionals 'finding an audience' and making mental health advice accessible to all...with NO copays involved. Dr. Julie Smith is one such psychologist, with her book "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" catapulting her to new heights of popularity.
Despite this internet fame, however, I actually hadn't heard any of Dr. Julie's advice before picking up this book...and now having completed what was ultimately designed to be a companion to her first, I'm wondering if that was a mistake...or perhaps just a happy accident.
The setup is simple and somewhat unique; essentially, Dr. Julie starts each section with a letter to the reader about what to do if you are feeling a certain way or stuck in a certain situation. Feeling like you need a bit of an on-call, specialized therapy session? Well...this book is designed to scratch that very itch. She first 'talks you down' and re-frames the specific problem, and then provides you with practical tools to work through the situation at hand.
This sounds like a simple, stripped down technique, and for good reason: it IS. But unfortunately, brevity acts as a substitute, rather than a supplement, for depth...and leaves much of the advice feeling trite, simple, and 'one size fits all.' This is the kind of self-help book for people who want to go to therapy just to have someone listen to them and say 'mmhm' encouragingly...NOT for someone trying to work through complex trauma or mental health struggles. Granted, writing a book intended for a wide audience lends itself to this in some respect...but I still have found so many other psychologists and self-help authors over the years who felt like they were speaking directly TO me, in ways I had never considered before, whereas this book felt like it offered a lot of pretty common sense advice, like "Don't have bad friends."🙄
I mean, yes. But I don't think any of us SET OUT to make bad friends or to encourage bad behavior to continue. Knowing that many of our problems or struggles are somewhat self inflicted doesn't necessarily help either, particularly for those who already are struggling to fight their demons. Again, this may simply be a personal issue of 'fit' and her advice might feel groundbreaking or life altering for another reader...it just didn't really inspire me or give me any sort of resonant themes to apply to every day life and ALL situations. Again, this is part of the trouble of attempting to write a self help book that covers SO many bases...if you're speeding by them, you don't have the opportunity to stop, stay a while, and make a REAL and lasting impact.
And although any self reflection and stopping to reach for a lifeline in this book's pages rather than jumping to impulsive action is probably a best practice for life in general, what I think this book taught me most of all is that when it comes to therapy, it's as important to be heard as it is to listen...and the best and most impactful communication should always at least FEEL like a true, two way street. 🚗
3.5 stars
January 19, 2025
1.5 ⭐✨
This book lacks depth in every way.
It offers only the most general advice and explanations without ever truly addressing the problem or exploring its psychological impact—either on those involved or on the reader. Instead of meaningful insights, it delivers surface-level observations without any real substance.
_"Good friendships are great for your well-being. Bad friendships, not so much."_
Well, no sh*t, Sherlock. Thanks for wasting my time—and my bloody money.
This book lacks depth in every way.
It offers only the most general advice and explanations without ever truly addressing the problem or exploring its psychological impact—either on those involved or on the reader. Instead of meaningful insights, it delivers surface-level observations without any real substance.
_"Good friendships are great for your well-being. Bad friendships, not so much."_
Well, no sh*t, Sherlock. Thanks for wasting my time—and my bloody money.
November 14, 2024
There are tough experiences universal to humanity and “Open When…” by Dr. Julie Smith is a collection of letters that addresses many such experiences in the form of a letter for the reader to open when. This book isn’t designed to be read straight through, it’s designed to be a life raft for a certain situation when you need it, and as such, this book belongs on every book shelf.
Each chapter begins with a letter from Dr Julie Smith on a specific topic — like “open when… you experience the death of a loved one.” The letter portion is comforting, compassionate, and provides a sense of anchored-ness for the days you might feel lost at sea. The letter has reminders of what is true even when it feels like truth is unattainable. Following the letter, there are tools you can use and practice when you are feeling engulfed by the season you’re in to make small and incremental steps that you can take to regain your footing. After that, for those days when you just don’t have it in you to read a letter, there is a succinct section of key take aways that provide the bulk of the message in small bite sized sentences in a bulleted list.
This book is one I wish I had for many tough seasons of life, and I’m so grateful this resource is being made available now. This is a book that will be on my shelf and I highly recommend it if you’re human.
I would like to thank HarperOne and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Each chapter begins with a letter from Dr Julie Smith on a specific topic — like “open when… you experience the death of a loved one.” The letter portion is comforting, compassionate, and provides a sense of anchored-ness for the days you might feel lost at sea. The letter has reminders of what is true even when it feels like truth is unattainable. Following the letter, there are tools you can use and practice when you are feeling engulfed by the season you’re in to make small and incremental steps that you can take to regain your footing. After that, for those days when you just don’t have it in you to read a letter, there is a succinct section of key take aways that provide the bulk of the message in small bite sized sentences in a bulleted list.
This book is one I wish I had for many tough seasons of life, and I’m so grateful this resource is being made available now. This is a book that will be on my shelf and I highly recommend it if you’re human.
I would like to thank HarperOne and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
February 27, 2025
Nachdem mir ihr erstes Buch gut gefallen hat, war ich gespannt auf Open When. Diesmal widmet sich Dr. Julie Smith verschiedenen Alltagsfragen – von Imposter-Syndrom über Zweifel an Freundschaften bis hin zur Elternschaft.
Positiv ist, dass sie zu jedem Thema praktische Tipps gibt und am Ende jedes Abschnitts eine kurze Zusammenfassung liefert. Das macht das Buch übersichtlich und leicht zugänglich. Allerdings bleibt sie oft an der Oberfläche, ohne wirklich in die Tiefe zu gehen. Es wirkt eher wie ein Buch, das „geschrieben werden musste“, als eines, das mit echtem Engagement und neuer Substanz helfen will.
Viele Themen haben mich nicht angesprochen, und insgesamt haben etwa 60 % der Tipps für mich keinen wirklichen Mehrwert geboten. Wer bereits mit Selbsthilfebüchern vertraut ist, könnte hier wenig Neues finden.
Read
July 7, 2025no rating ⭐️
though not all of the things mentioned in this book felt applicable to my life, a lot of it also did! I especially loved the chapters on panic attacks/anxiety as it gave me so much more insight on these feelings/emotions! Overall, a great book filled with so many important truths and helpful exercises!
though not all of the things mentioned in this book felt applicable to my life, a lot of it also did! I especially loved the chapters on panic attacks/anxiety as it gave me so much more insight on these feelings/emotions! Overall, a great book filled with so many important truths and helpful exercises!
August 27, 2025
Наръчник за бърза психологична помощ: https://knigolandia.info/otvori-togav...
Когато през лятото на 2022 г. излезе „Защо никой не ми го е казал досега?“ на д-р Джули Смит (доктор по психология и клинична психология), едно от първите книги в това, което щеше да се превърне в поредица за популярна психология, не очаквах, че ще намери толкова много читатели – разбира се, не казвам, че се търси колко роментъзитата, но в нехудожествената литература често очакванията са силно занижени. С времето разбрах, че този тип книги са нужни и полезни, стига да са написани въз основа на реални знания и практически опит в областта, а след като прочетох още много други, разбрах защо точно Джули Смит е толкова популярна – профилите ѝ в „Инстаграм“ и „ТикТок“ са следвани от буквално милиони, доста смайващо.
Ciela Books
https://knigolandia.info/otvori-togav...
Когато през лятото на 2022 г. излезе „Защо никой не ми го е казал досега?“ на д-р Джули Смит (доктор по психология и клинична психология), едно от първите книги в това, което щеше да се превърне в поредица за популярна психология, не очаквах, че ще намери толкова много читатели – разбира се, не казвам, че се търси колко роментъзитата, но в нехудожествената литература често очакванията са силно занижени. С времето разбрах, че този тип книги са нужни и полезни, стига да са написани въз основа на реални знания и практически опит в областта, а след като прочетох още много други, разбрах защо точно Джули Смит е толкова популярна – профилите ѝ в „Инстаграм“ и „ТикТок“ са следвани от буквално милиони, доста смайващо.
Ciela Books
https://knigolandia.info/otvori-togav...
February 26, 2025
DNF.
I muscled my way through half this book. While the different chapters seemed promising, the broad strokes that followed fell flat. There wasn’t much depth to navigating through each chapter, and I am not entirely sure that I agree with some of her way points.
For example:
“If you feel like you don’t belong, work harder to make others feel like they belong. “
I mean, I guess I see where she is coming from, and yet…I don’t know…there is something not exactly right about this either.
This is a book that I had hoped to “open when” I needed some solace or comfort, a way forward - but instead I found no comfort here. More like a repetition of try harder.
Definitely not the right book for me.
I muscled my way through half this book. While the different chapters seemed promising, the broad strokes that followed fell flat. There wasn’t much depth to navigating through each chapter, and I am not entirely sure that I agree with some of her way points.
For example:
“If you feel like you don’t belong, work harder to make others feel like they belong. “
I mean, I guess I see where she is coming from, and yet…I don’t know…there is something not exactly right about this either.
This is a book that I had hoped to “open when” I needed some solace or comfort, a way forward - but instead I found no comfort here. More like a repetition of try harder.
Definitely not the right book for me.
March 25, 2025
2.5 - i know this book is probably meant for the general population with little prior knowledge but for me it still lacks a lot of depth
March 7, 2025
Me ha parecido un libro mucho más práctico que el primero y un gran complemento a ese inicio de Julie Smith como escritora de libros. Es un título bien organizado y con una estructura que permite, a quien lo necesite, ir directamente al tema en cuestión y encontrar una respuesta a su pregunta o necesidad.
Me ha gustado mucho que recuerde la importancia de pedir ayuda y consultar con un terapeuta en muchos momentos de la lectura, porque al final el libro es un complemento, pero en ningún caso puede sustituir a la terapia con un profesional.
Si le tengo que poner un pero diría que mezcla muchísimas cosas y que al final uno se pierde un poco con cada tema nuevo, al no estar realmente desarrollados. Toca muchos palos, pero ninguno lo suficiente como para ser memorable.
Creo que es un libro que hubiera ganado mucho más si hubieran optado por hacer pequeñas guías de cada tema y publicarlas por separado, o habiéndose centrado más en menos temas y explicarlos mejor. Publicado tal y como está, se queda un poco en tierra de nadie entre esas dos opciones.
Me ha gustado mucho que recuerde la importancia de pedir ayuda y consultar con un terapeuta en muchos momentos de la lectura, porque al final el libro es un complemento, pero en ningún caso puede sustituir a la terapia con un profesional.
Si le tengo que poner un pero diría que mezcla muchísimas cosas y que al final uno se pierde un poco con cada tema nuevo, al no estar realmente desarrollados. Toca muchos palos, pero ninguno lo suficiente como para ser memorable.
Creo que es un libro que hubiera ganado mucho más si hubieran optado por hacer pequeñas guías de cada tema y publicarlas por separado, o habiéndose centrado más en menos temas y explicarlos mejor. Publicado tal y como está, se queda un poco en tierra de nadie entre esas dos opciones.
April 4, 2025
Hiss: Intressant och tilltalande upplägg, däremot…
Diss: gick boken aldrig riktigt in på ”djupet” och skrapade endast lite på ytan.
Diss: gick boken aldrig riktigt in på ”djupet” och skrapade endast lite på ytan.
July 27, 2025
Книгата на д-р Джули Смит е своеобразно продължение на предишната й, дори в някои от главите има препратки към техники и упражнения от предишната книга. Не мога да я нарека "скучна" или "непълна" книга, но със сигурност е доста по-слаба от "Защо никой не ми го е казал досега".
Разбира се, и тук се намират "съкровища", което е напълно очаквано, но все пак остава едно усещане за повторяемост и предъвкване на нещата.
Не мога да кажа, че покупката й е била излишна, доволна съм да я притежавам в библиотетака си, и знам, че рано или късно отново ще я отворя, но... Има едно НО, което...
Хубавото е, че стилът на авторката е все така приятелски и нежен, точно като разговор на четири очи с близък човек. Идеята с личните писма в началото на всяка глава са много добри, и смея да твърдя, че в голяма част от главите, точно тези писма дават необходимото, коет�� търси човек в съответните ситуации.
Надявам се по-нататък във времето да се появи и трета книга, за мен лично д-р Джули е човекът, чиито думи често действат като "протегната ръка" в нетолкова приятните ситуации в живота (най-вече в първата й книга).
Разбира се, и тук се намират "съкровища", което е напълно очаквано, но все пак остава едно усещане за повторяемост и предъвкване на нещата.
Не мога да кажа, че покупката й е била излишна, доволна съм да я притежавам в библиотетака си, и знам, че рано или късно отново ще я отворя, но... Има едно НО, което...
Хубавото е, че стилът на авторката е все така приятелски и нежен, точно като разговор на четири очи с близък човек. Идеята с личните писма в началото на всяка глава са много добри, и смея да твърдя, че в голяма част от главите, точно тези писма дават необходимото, коет�� търси човек в съответните ситуации.
Надявам се по-нататък във времето да се появи и трета книга, за мен лично д-р Джули е човекът, чиито думи често действат като "протегната ръка" в нетолкова приятните ситуации в живота (най-вече в първата й книга).
June 25, 2025
.5 stars for writing
1 star for research
.5 stars for premise
.5 stars for impact
0 stars for liking it
So, be careful with this particular rating because I'm writing it as a therapist and in terms of personal usefulness. As someone who has been on this journey for a WHILE-this book was limitedly useful for me. HOWEVER, I will absolutely use this with clients and I completely recommend it to anyone who may have missed basic emotional literacy/how to be human education for whatever reason.
1 star for research
.5 stars for premise
.5 stars for impact
0 stars for liking it
So, be careful with this particular rating because I'm writing it as a therapist and in terms of personal usefulness. As someone who has been on this journey for a WHILE-this book was limitedly useful for me. HOWEVER, I will absolutely use this with clients and I completely recommend it to anyone who may have missed basic emotional literacy/how to be human education for whatever reason.
dnf
February 27, 2025DNF @ page 210 or so. Seems very bland and generic. I don't think I've come across one piece of genuinely helpful advice over the last 200 pages that I have read.
February 3, 2025
9 – When They Don’t Love You Back
The only way through the pain of a broken heart is to find ways to move forward, so that you can witness yourself doing just that. You cannot sit in the darkness and convince yourself that it will all be ok, you have to make it ok. The belief that you can have a future beyond this point comes when you prove it to yourself.
Our inherent worth as a human being stands separate from the actions of others. So, their affections are not a measure of us, they never were. Let your response to this and the fight to start a new chapter be the measure of you instead.
Another trap that will keep you stuck in the darkness of heartbreak is the idealizing or villainizing of the person who did not love you back. When you idealize them, you recall only the most desirable aspects of their character, remember only the fondest of memories. You immerse yourself in the good and mute the memories of their mistakes, the ways they disappointed you or hurt you. Or you villainize them and sentence yourself to living in anger and bitte resentment and all the bad they did to you. When we are not in the pain of heartbreak, it is much easier to understand the true complexity of each individual without branding anyone as simply good or bad.
Moving on simply means filling the space they left in your life with other connections, contributions, and endeavours that add to your life in a meaningful way.
Identify each of these voids and fill them. Whether it will be lost social circles, activities you once enjoyed together, or plans for the future. Each of them can and must be rebuilt so that you can reestablish a solid foundation for your life and how you see yourself within it. Doing this helps you recognize that your lost person was just one piece of the puzzle, not the whole thing. While you feel the urge to withdraw from other layers of your life, it is wholly necessary to hold on to these tightly and to continue to nurture all parts of your life that make it worthwhile and meaningful.
Nurture the relationship that continues. The relationship that continues is, of course, the one with yourself. It is hard not to slip into the blame game, and torture yourself with fantasies of what you could or should have done or not done.
If you find yourself constantly looking back with rose-tinted vision, it can help to simply keep a list of things in which that person was not right for you, or made having a healthy relationship difficult. Remind yourself that missing someone does not mean that they were right for you. Conversely, if you find yourself demonizing the person, and subsequently living in anger or bitterness, you could create a list of their better qualities and acknowledge they are not all bad.
Key Take-Aways from this Chapter:
1. When a relationship ends, a grieving response is natural, so allow space for this. You might stop sleeping, lose appetite, and find it generally difficult to function.
2. Step into the other layers of your life that matter to you, and focus your energy on these things that help you recover your life and move on.
3. Torturing yourself with blame for all those ways in which you weren’t enough does nothing for you. If you wish to acknowledge your mistakes in order to break cycles for future relationships, that learning can only take place in compassion.
10 – When They Love You, But You Won’t Let Them Get Close
Understanding attachment styles: attachment styles are not set in stone. Our romantic relationships in adulthood continue to affect and adapt our attachment style for better or worse. So, anyone with a secure attachment can become more anxious or avoidant in their relationships after a negative experience, but the good news here is that things can also go in the other direction.
22 – When Grief Overwhelms You
Experiencing depression symptoms is not unusual, but make sure to do the things that will help during that period:
• Let the people in your life comfort you and support you
• Spend time outdoors
• Move your body every day
• Make time for deep rest
Let it rain, but take an umbrella. Pain is the agent for change:
• Don’t turn your pain on the ones that remain
• Don’t turn the pain on yourself
• Acknowledge and express, talk to friends, journal
• Connect to the loved ones who remain
Movement changes your brain chemistry: your body will be in fight-or-flight mode, physical exercise is instrumental in the capacity to nurture your own mental health in the face of grief
• Any form of movement that increases your heart rate and demands you to breathe more deeply and use your muscles has a considerable impact on your brain chemistry and acts as a spring board for your mental health
• Within a few minutes of exercise, you experience a boost of adrenaline and dopamine that gives you more energy and counters the fatigue that often accompanies grief
• After 20 minutes a mix of endorphins have been shown to enhance our capacity of optimism, pleasure, and connection with others. In grief, all three of those need as much help as they can get.
• Whatever your choice of movement, if you do it along side of people, your brain senses that connection and you can benefit from an enhanced sense of belonging, trust, and generally feeling less alone.
• Aim to increase movement in a way that suits you best and is enjoyable.
Take-Aways:
1. Feel what you feel.
2. Distraction help
3. Don’t turn the pain on yourself or people around you who love you
4. Grief is not just an experience of the mind but also of the body. Exercise can help with mental health
5. Connection is key, support and let yourself be supported
The only way through the pain of a broken heart is to find ways to move forward, so that you can witness yourself doing just that. You cannot sit in the darkness and convince yourself that it will all be ok, you have to make it ok. The belief that you can have a future beyond this point comes when you prove it to yourself.
Our inherent worth as a human being stands separate from the actions of others. So, their affections are not a measure of us, they never were. Let your response to this and the fight to start a new chapter be the measure of you instead.
Another trap that will keep you stuck in the darkness of heartbreak is the idealizing or villainizing of the person who did not love you back. When you idealize them, you recall only the most desirable aspects of their character, remember only the fondest of memories. You immerse yourself in the good and mute the memories of their mistakes, the ways they disappointed you or hurt you. Or you villainize them and sentence yourself to living in anger and bitte resentment and all the bad they did to you. When we are not in the pain of heartbreak, it is much easier to understand the true complexity of each individual without branding anyone as simply good or bad.
Moving on simply means filling the space they left in your life with other connections, contributions, and endeavours that add to your life in a meaningful way.
Identify each of these voids and fill them. Whether it will be lost social circles, activities you once enjoyed together, or plans for the future. Each of them can and must be rebuilt so that you can reestablish a solid foundation for your life and how you see yourself within it. Doing this helps you recognize that your lost person was just one piece of the puzzle, not the whole thing. While you feel the urge to withdraw from other layers of your life, it is wholly necessary to hold on to these tightly and to continue to nurture all parts of your life that make it worthwhile and meaningful.
Nurture the relationship that continues. The relationship that continues is, of course, the one with yourself. It is hard not to slip into the blame game, and torture yourself with fantasies of what you could or should have done or not done.
If you find yourself constantly looking back with rose-tinted vision, it can help to simply keep a list of things in which that person was not right for you, or made having a healthy relationship difficult. Remind yourself that missing someone does not mean that they were right for you. Conversely, if you find yourself demonizing the person, and subsequently living in anger or bitterness, you could create a list of their better qualities and acknowledge they are not all bad.
Key Take-Aways from this Chapter:
1. When a relationship ends, a grieving response is natural, so allow space for this. You might stop sleeping, lose appetite, and find it generally difficult to function.
2. Step into the other layers of your life that matter to you, and focus your energy on these things that help you recover your life and move on.
3. Torturing yourself with blame for all those ways in which you weren’t enough does nothing for you. If you wish to acknowledge your mistakes in order to break cycles for future relationships, that learning can only take place in compassion.
10 – When They Love You, But You Won’t Let Them Get Close
Understanding attachment styles: attachment styles are not set in stone. Our romantic relationships in adulthood continue to affect and adapt our attachment style for better or worse. So, anyone with a secure attachment can become more anxious or avoidant in their relationships after a negative experience, but the good news here is that things can also go in the other direction.
22 – When Grief Overwhelms You
Experiencing depression symptoms is not unusual, but make sure to do the things that will help during that period:
• Let the people in your life comfort you and support you
• Spend time outdoors
• Move your body every day
• Make time for deep rest
Let it rain, but take an umbrella. Pain is the agent for change:
• Don’t turn your pain on the ones that remain
• Don’t turn the pain on yourself
• Acknowledge and express, talk to friends, journal
• Connect to the loved ones who remain
Movement changes your brain chemistry: your body will be in fight-or-flight mode, physical exercise is instrumental in the capacity to nurture your own mental health in the face of grief
• Any form of movement that increases your heart rate and demands you to breathe more deeply and use your muscles has a considerable impact on your brain chemistry and acts as a spring board for your mental health
• Within a few minutes of exercise, you experience a boost of adrenaline and dopamine that gives you more energy and counters the fatigue that often accompanies grief
• After 20 minutes a mix of endorphins have been shown to enhance our capacity of optimism, pleasure, and connection with others. In grief, all three of those need as much help as they can get.
• Whatever your choice of movement, if you do it along side of people, your brain senses that connection and you can benefit from an enhanced sense of belonging, trust, and generally feeling less alone.
• Aim to increase movement in a way that suits you best and is enjoyable.
Take-Aways:
1. Feel what you feel.
2. Distraction help
3. Don’t turn the pain on yourself or people around you who love you
4. Grief is not just an experience of the mind but also of the body. Exercise can help with mental health
5. Connection is key, support and let yourself be supported
June 15, 2025
A thought provoking book, which can give essential tools for dealing with different situations, however is best linked to the previous book written by the author which is admitted as much by herself in the beginning.
This book is for people who are suffering with different forms of mental health issues, it gives insights ranging from grief to people who are struggling with imposter syndrome.
I liked that I was allowed to zone in and out and chapters that were more relevant to me, and this was very clear throughout the process of reading the book. There was lots of useful tools for me to follow, which whilst basic, allowed me to reset my understanding of my mental health. I also liked that it allowed me time to reflect on how far I have actually came, since reading the first book. It felt as though I was not being lectured and more guided on the basics.
The positives, are also a drawback. Naturally, having read the first book I was able to reflect on what I had learnt there, however it is not certain that everyone will have read that book, which then leads them to see it as just giving vague basics which I can also see. Often, I felt that the book was somewhat repetitive, as it touched upon similar topics.
I would recommend this, firstly to anybody who has read the first book, and secondly to anybody who is starting out on their mental health recovery, as this will enable them to put into place the basics spring-boarding them to a more positive mental space.
This book is for people who are suffering with different forms of mental health issues, it gives insights ranging from grief to people who are struggling with imposter syndrome.
I liked that I was allowed to zone in and out and chapters that were more relevant to me, and this was very clear throughout the process of reading the book. There was lots of useful tools for me to follow, which whilst basic, allowed me to reset my understanding of my mental health. I also liked that it allowed me time to reflect on how far I have actually came, since reading the first book. It felt as though I was not being lectured and more guided on the basics.
The positives, are also a drawback. Naturally, having read the first book I was able to reflect on what I had learnt there, however it is not certain that everyone will have read that book, which then leads them to see it as just giving vague basics which I can also see. Often, I felt that the book was somewhat repetitive, as it touched upon similar topics.
I would recommend this, firstly to anybody who has read the first book, and secondly to anybody who is starting out on their mental health recovery, as this will enable them to put into place the basics spring-boarding them to a more positive mental space.
April 4, 2025
Open When... by Dr Julie Smith is a warm, insightful, and practical guide designed to be a companion through lifes trickier moments. Structured around chapters titled "Open When…" – like "Open when you feel like an imposter" or "Open when your heart is breaking" – each one begins with a compassionate letter from the author before diving into grounded, actionable advice. From grief and breakups to self-doubt and stress, this book covers so much.
It’s neatly split into three parts – When it’s hard to be with yourself, When it’s hard to be with other people, and When it’s hard to be with your feelings – and I found the way she framed emotional challenges genuinely supportive without being patronising. Thankfully, it's also not too preachy.
I can imagine picking this one up when dealing with a specific issue and needing some reassurance, jumping to the appropriate chapter to help reground yourself (or at least remind you, you'll be okay).
It’s neatly split into three parts – When it’s hard to be with yourself, When it’s hard to be with other people, and When it’s hard to be with your feelings – and I found the way she framed emotional challenges genuinely supportive without being patronising. Thankfully, it's also not too preachy.
I can imagine picking this one up when dealing with a specific issue and needing some reassurance, jumping to the appropriate chapter to help reground yourself (or at least remind you, you'll be okay).
March 5, 2025
This is Dr. Julie Smith's second book. I learned much from her first book 'Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before', and in this sequel, Julie Smith addresses her followers in a more personal way with encouragement and practical advice in specific situations.
That approach has its ups and downs: not every reader will need everything that is in this book, because people are in so many different situations in life and may or may not already have benefited from therapy. The upside is that the book can be a good tool to have when situations like the ones described occur at one point or another in life.
Dr. Smith's warm and friendly tone makes the book easy to read and understand, offering helpful advice without judgment. Each chapter begins with a letter to the reader, followed by real-time tools to navigate various life challenges. This structure allows readers to pick up the book as needed, making it a versatile resource.
This is not just a book for people in crisis situations, but can also be very helpful for those who know people that are and would like to help. The book's practical approach and relatable style make it a valuable companion for life's twists and turns.
That approach has its ups and downs: not every reader will need everything that is in this book, because people are in so many different situations in life and may or may not already have benefited from therapy. The upside is that the book can be a good tool to have when situations like the ones described occur at one point or another in life.
Dr. Smith's warm and friendly tone makes the book easy to read and understand, offering helpful advice without judgment. Each chapter begins with a letter to the reader, followed by real-time tools to navigate various life challenges. This structure allows readers to pick up the book as needed, making it a versatile resource.
This is not just a book for people in crisis situations, but can also be very helpful for those who know people that are and would like to help. The book's practical approach and relatable style make it a valuable companion for life's twists and turns.
July 23, 2025
3,5 / 5 ⭐️
kuuntelin äänikirjana ja toimi oikein hyvin. uskon että muutamia vuosia taaksepäin tämä olis ollut aivan erinomainen kirja mulle, mutta nyt nämä tärkeät asiat on itselle jo aika tuttuja ja useasti kuultuja, joten tämä ei ehkä tässä hetkessä saanut mussa mitään suurta valaistumista tai voimaantumista. mutta sairaan tärkeitä piintteja joita on tottakai hyvä muistutella itselle koko elämän ajan.
kuuntelin äänikirjana ja toimi oikein hyvin. uskon että muutamia vuosia taaksepäin tämä olis ollut aivan erinomainen kirja mulle, mutta nyt nämä tärkeät asiat on itselle jo aika tuttuja ja useasti kuultuja, joten tämä ei ehkä tässä hetkessä saanut mussa mitään suurta valaistumista tai voimaantumista. mutta sairaan tärkeitä piintteja joita on tottakai hyvä muistutella itselle koko elämän ajan.
August 2, 2025
This was a quick read but I did not find an awful lot that was relevant to me. I guess I am just really mentally healthy ... Another one off my TBR pile so that's happy days for me!! 🥳🥳
June 21, 2025
Es waren viele hilfreiche Themen im Buch. Es hatte auch eine große Reichweite an Themen, also es könnte wirklich für jeden eine Situation dabei sein, in der man sich gerade befindet. Und bei manchen Kapiteln, wo man nicht so relaten kann, kann man diese auch überspringen, weil am Ende jedes Kapitels steht noch eine Seite mit dem Wichtigsten Sachen zusammengefasst und man kann sich das durchlesen. Aber bei wirklich schweren Problemen hilft das Buch nicht (was die Autorin auch nochmal verdeutlicht). Wenn man was schwerwiegenderes hat, sollte man sich professionelle Hilfe suchen und nicht nur ein Buch lesen.
January 9, 2025
3.5 rounded up. This book came to me right when I needed it. It was easy to digest, though basic at times. I guess it depends how much therapy you've had, haha. Regardless, I'd give it a read if you get in your own way sometimes or need a very gentle reminder to get your shit together.
Read
June 3, 2025"Pirmajā vietā pašcieņa, nevis pašvērtējums." (273.lpp.)
Džūliju Smitu iepazinu ar viņas pirmo grāmatu "Kāpēc neviens man to iepriekš nav teicis?", kā arī viņas ļoti veiksmīgi nostrādātos, aci piesaistošos un īsajos Instagram video, kuros viņa pieķeras dažādām problēmām un vizuāli prezentē situāciju izklāstu. Nav brīnums, ka šis trendīgais formāts uzrunā miljoniem skatītāju, jo kurš gan nav sapņojis par svarīgu tēmu pārfrāzēšanu pāris teikumos.
Jaunajā grāmatā "Atveriet, kad.." klīniskā psiholoģe turpina iesākto un uzrunā savus lasītājus tieši- katrai nodaļai veltot īpašu vēstuli, savā ziņā radot ilūzijas sajūtu, ka esi ieradies pie savas terapeites, kura velta uzmanību tieši tev. Grāmata fokusējas uz sarežģīto dzīves mirkļu pārvarēšanu, kurā mēs vēlamies iederēties, iegūt pārliecību par sevi vai atrisināt problemātiskas attiecības ar draugiem, ģimeni vai darba kolēģiem.
"Atgādiniet sev, ka ilgoties pēc kāda nenozīmē, ka šis cilvēks bija jums piemērots." (114.lpp.)
26 nodaļās Smita apskata tādas tēmas kā- "Kad vēlaties uzvarēt strīdā", "Kad īsti draugi nav īsti draugi", "Kad virsroku ņēmušas sēras" utt. Sajūta, ka no bezgalīgi plašām un dziļām tēmam, Smita ir kodolīgi izvilkusi esenci un vienkāršā, viegli sagremojamā veidā atstāstījusi.
Neskatoties uz to, ka nodaļas jau tā ir īsas un kodolīgas, Smita ir veltījusi katrai nodaļai vēl īsākus citātus, kas saucas "vērtīgas atziņas", savā ziņā dublējot pašai savu vēstījumu.
Tajā pat laikā tiek mēģināts arī aktīvi iesaistīt pašu lasītāju, iedodot praktiskus vingrinājumus vai aicinot izmēģināt.
No vienas puses šis rada tādu saldā krējuma nosmelšanas principu, kurā kaut kas tiek pateikts un aiztaupa spēju rakt dziļāk. No otras puses- var saprast, ka tieši šāds formāts der steidzīgajai skrullētāju paaudzei, jo mums ir grūti koncentrēties, gribas visu uzzināt ātri un tagad, iegūt tūlītēju rezultātu un lasīt kopsavilkumus, lai pēc iespējas ātrāk uzzinātu svarīgākos pieturas punktus. Tāpēc man nerodas jautājums, kāpēc Smitas grāmatas iegūt miljoniem cilvēku atzinību. Bet, kas der visiem, neder nevienam- balansējot uz vispārinājumiem, grāmatā pietrūkst detalizētākas informācijas, kas apskatītu ikvienu no problēmām.
Papildus bonus ir autores "meitene no blakusmājas" rakstīšanas stilam, kurā liekas, ka ar tevi sarunājas, ja ne gluži draudzene, bet katrā ziņā ieinteresēts sarunubiedrs, kuram rūp, kā tu jūties.
Grāmata kādam var būt mierinājums, ka viss, kas ar tevi notiek, ir normāli un tu neesi tāds vienīgais. Mēs nevaram izvairīties no sarežģītām attiecībām ar cilvēkiem apkārt, bet mēs varam mainīt savu uztveri, kā mēs reaģējam uz to, kas ar mums notiek. Un labi zināms vecais- mēs katrs esam pats savas galaktikas centrs, un pa lielam, citi ir pārāk aizņemti ar sevi, lai atlicinātu laiku, domājot par mums.
Es teiktu, ka grāmata kādam var rast pozitīvo sajūtu, ka ir labi justies tā, kā mēs konkrētos brīžos jūtamies, it sevišķi tad, kad mums liekas, ka mēs esam vienīgie, kas sevi apšauba, baidās un viļas.
"Nav tā, ka sabiedrībā par sevi pārliecināti cilvēki būtu atraduši maģisku formulu, kā izvairīties no neveikliem brīžiem. Viņi vienkārši nepievērš tiem uzmanību. Dažkārt koncentrēšanās uz to, no kā vēlaties izbēgt, liek nokļūt tieši lāča nagos." (51.lpp.)
Grāmata, kas patiks steidzīgajai paaudzei, kura vēlas vieglā, draudzīgā veidā atrast kodolīgus, motivējošus padomus, kas uzlabotu ikdienas cīņu ar savām domām, apkārtējiem un visu pasauli
3.7 zvaigznes
Tulkotāja: Agnese Orupe
Džūliju Smitu iepazinu ar viņas pirmo grāmatu "Kāpēc neviens man to iepriekš nav teicis?", kā arī viņas ļoti veiksmīgi nostrādātos, aci piesaistošos un īsajos Instagram video, kuros viņa pieķeras dažādām problēmām un vizuāli prezentē situāciju izklāstu. Nav brīnums, ka šis trendīgais formāts uzrunā miljoniem skatītāju, jo kurš gan nav sapņojis par svarīgu tēmu pārfrāzēšanu pāris teikumos.
Jaunajā grāmatā "Atveriet, kad.." klīniskā psiholoģe turpina iesākto un uzrunā savus lasītājus tieši- katrai nodaļai veltot īpašu vēstuli, savā ziņā radot ilūzijas sajūtu, ka esi ieradies pie savas terapeites, kura velta uzmanību tieši tev. Grāmata fokusējas uz sarežģīto dzīves mirkļu pārvarēšanu, kurā mēs vēlamies iederēties, iegūt pārliecību par sevi vai atrisināt problemātiskas attiecības ar draugiem, ģimeni vai darba kolēģiem.
"Atgādiniet sev, ka ilgoties pēc kāda nenozīmē, ka šis cilvēks bija jums piemērots." (114.lpp.)
26 nodaļās Smita apskata tādas tēmas kā- "Kad vēlaties uzvarēt strīdā", "Kad īsti draugi nav īsti draugi", "Kad virsroku ņēmušas sēras" utt. Sajūta, ka no bezgalīgi plašām un dziļām tēmam, Smita ir kodolīgi izvilkusi esenci un vienkāršā, viegli sagremojamā veidā atstāstījusi.
Neskatoties uz to, ka nodaļas jau tā ir īsas un kodolīgas, Smita ir veltījusi katrai nodaļai vēl īsākus citātus, kas saucas "vērtīgas atziņas", savā ziņā dublējot pašai savu vēstījumu.
Tajā pat laikā tiek mēģināts arī aktīvi iesaistīt pašu lasītāju, iedodot praktiskus vingrinājumus vai aicinot izmēģināt.
No vienas puses šis rada tādu saldā krējuma nosmelšanas principu, kurā kaut kas tiek pateikts un aiztaupa spēju rakt dziļāk. No otras puses- var saprast, ka tieši šāds formāts der steidzīgajai skrullētāju paaudzei, jo mums ir grūti koncentrēties, gribas visu uzzināt ātri un tagad, iegūt tūlītēju rezultātu un lasīt kopsavilkumus, lai pēc iespējas ātrāk uzzinātu svarīgākos pieturas punktus. Tāpēc man nerodas jautājums, kāpēc Smitas grāmatas iegūt miljoniem cilvēku atzinību. Bet, kas der visiem, neder nevienam- balansējot uz vispārinājumiem, grāmatā pietrūkst detalizētākas informācijas, kas apskatītu ikvienu no problēmām.
Papildus bonus ir autores "meitene no blakusmājas" rakstīšanas stilam, kurā liekas, ka ar tevi sarunājas, ja ne gluži draudzene, bet katrā ziņā ieinteresēts sarunubiedrs, kuram rūp, kā tu jūties.
Grāmata kādam var būt mierinājums, ka viss, kas ar tevi notiek, ir normāli un tu neesi tāds vienīgais. Mēs nevaram izvairīties no sarežģītām attiecībām ar cilvēkiem apkārt, bet mēs varam mainīt savu uztveri, kā mēs reaģējam uz to, kas ar mums notiek. Un labi zināms vecais- mēs katrs esam pats savas galaktikas centrs, un pa lielam, citi ir pārāk aizņemti ar sevi, lai atlicinātu laiku, domājot par mums.
Es teiktu, ka grāmata kādam var rast pozitīvo sajūtu, ka ir labi justies tā, kā mēs konkrētos brīžos jūtamies, it sevišķi tad, kad mums liekas, ka mēs esam vienīgie, kas sevi apšauba, baidās un viļas.
"Nav tā, ka sabiedrībā par sevi pārliecināti cilvēki būtu atraduši maģisku formulu, kā izvairīties no neveikliem brīžiem. Viņi vienkārši nepievērš tiem uzmanību. Dažkārt koncentrēšanās uz to, no kā vēlaties izbēgt, liek nokļūt tieši lāča nagos." (51.lpp.)
Grāmata, kas patiks steidzīgajai paaudzei, kura vēlas vieglā, draudzīgā veidā atrast kodolīgus, motivējošus padomus, kas uzlabotu ikdienas cīņu ar savām domām, apkārtējiem un visu pasauli
3.7 zvaigznes
Tulkotāja: Agnese Orupe
February 24, 2025
»It is okay to fear someone else's disapproval, but you must fear your own more.«
»OPEN WHEN … « von der US-amerikanischen Psychologin, Professorin & Autorin Dr. Julie Smith ist Ihr zweites Buch, dass sie mit psychologisches Grundlagenwissen und Tipps für die Bewältigung von mentalen Struggels gibt (DISCLAIMER: Unter dem Vorbehalt, dass mensch ein*e Fachärzt*in aufsucht (!), wenn es einem langanhaltend nicht gut geht !). Ich habe bereits Ihr erstes Buch gelesen und habe auch daraus sehr hilfreiche Tipps und Tools mitnehmen können. Im Vorwort schreibt die Autorin, dass Ihr Ziel war, ein geeignetes Nachschlagewerk zu schreiben, in das mensch jederzeit hineinlesen kann, wenn eines der behandelten Themen gerade aktut / relevant / wichtig ist.
PROS:
- Übersichtliche Gestaltung & Aufbau der einzelnen Kapitel
- Thematischer Aufbau des Buchs in drei Themenblöcken, deren Kapiteln jeweils passend Unterthemen beschreiben
- Herausgestellt Zitate als Reminder & Affirmationen
- Persönliche Worte der Autorin zu Beginn jedes Kapitels (‚A Letter from me to you‘) 💌
- Hilfreiche Takeaways als Summary am Ende jedes Kapitels
CONS:
- teilweise zu populärwissenschaftliche Ausarbeitung der Themen, ich hätte mir mehr wissenschaftliche Diskurse und Einordnungen gewünscht
- teilweise zu oberflächlich (geht mit dem obigen Punkt einher)
ALL IN ALL: Ein sehr gutes Buch für all diejenigen, die schnell einen geeigneten und professionellen Rat suchen, sich mehr mit sich selbst auseinander setzen möchten und/oder ihre eigenen Herausforderungen analysieren und passende Quick-Win-Tipps suchen.
Wenn Du ein Fachbuch suchst, ist das hier nicht Dein Buch. Aber das ist auch nicht der Anspruch der Autorin.
»OPEN WHEN … « von der US-amerikanischen Psychologin, Professorin & Autorin Dr. Julie Smith ist Ihr zweites Buch, dass sie mit psychologisches Grundlagenwissen und Tipps für die Bewältigung von mentalen Struggels gibt (DISCLAIMER: Unter dem Vorbehalt, dass mensch ein*e Fachärzt*in aufsucht (!), wenn es einem langanhaltend nicht gut geht !). Ich habe bereits Ihr erstes Buch gelesen und habe auch daraus sehr hilfreiche Tipps und Tools mitnehmen können. Im Vorwort schreibt die Autorin, dass Ihr Ziel war, ein geeignetes Nachschlagewerk zu schreiben, in das mensch jederzeit hineinlesen kann, wenn eines der behandelten Themen gerade aktut / relevant / wichtig ist.
PROS:
- Übersichtliche Gestaltung & Aufbau der einzelnen Kapitel
- Thematischer Aufbau des Buchs in drei Themenblöcken, deren Kapiteln jeweils passend Unterthemen beschreiben
- Herausgestellt Zitate als Reminder & Affirmationen
- Persönliche Worte der Autorin zu Beginn jedes Kapitels (‚A Letter from me to you‘) 💌
- Hilfreiche Takeaways als Summary am Ende jedes Kapitels
CONS:
- teilweise zu populärwissenschaftliche Ausarbeitung der Themen, ich hätte mir mehr wissenschaftliche Diskurse und Einordnungen gewünscht
- teilweise zu oberflächlich (geht mit dem obigen Punkt einher)
ALL IN ALL: Ein sehr gutes Buch für all diejenigen, die schnell einen geeigneten und professionellen Rat suchen, sich mehr mit sich selbst auseinander setzen möchten und/oder ihre eigenen Herausforderungen analysieren und passende Quick-Win-Tipps suchen.
Wenn Du ein Fachbuch suchst, ist das hier nicht Dein Buch. Aber das ist auch nicht der Anspruch der Autorin.
May 31, 2025
To popularnonaukowo/ psychologiczny przewodnik po relacjach społecznych, relacji ze sobą, samoakceptacji i budowaniu pewności siebie.
Autorka przedstawia mechanizmy porównań międzyludzkich, wpływ stylu przywiązania na relacje oraz sposoby radzenia sobie z lękiem społecznym. Porusza także temat wyznaczania granic, zarządzania oczekiwaniami oraz skutecznej komunikacji.
Omawia jak przekuć nadmierne analizowanie w działanie i znaleźć przy tym zdrowy balans w codzienności
Pierwszym co nasuwa się na myśl w trakcie czytania/słuchania to że jest to tytuł otulający ciepłem, wsparciem, pozytywnym uświadomieniem jakie działania można podjąć w chwilach przytłoczenia czy zagubienia.
Jest wartościowa nie tylko dla osób zmagających się z niepewnością, ale także dla tych, którzy chcą lepiej rozumieć dynamikę relacji i własne emocje.
Dużym plusem jest zawarcie tu przede wszystkim wielu praktycznych narzędzi, które można zastosować w codziennym życiu, w konkretnych sytuacjach, których liczne przykłady podsuwa ten tytuł.
Myślę, że nie jest to tytuł „na raz” mimo swojej objętości. Ze względu na zakres wiedzy, bardzo konkretnych treści, porad, na których przyswojenie warto dać sobie czas i przestrzeń uważam, że poznawanie książki w długim czasie, kawałek po kawałku będzie bardziej korzystne.
Inspiruje, dodaje otuchy i przede wszystkim daje skuteczne metody działania.
Może momentami przegadana, może czasem powtarza porady, które są powszechnie znane (szczególnie jeśli poznajesz dużo samorozwojowychi psychologicznych pozycji), ale jej słuchanie ogromnie uspokaja i to jej duża wartość dodana.
Książka w której znajdziesz ciepło, spokój i wiele inspiracji do samorozwoju i samozaopiekowania.
Wersja audio w języku angielskim dostępna na bookbeat.
Autorka przedstawia mechanizmy porównań międzyludzkich, wpływ stylu przywiązania na relacje oraz sposoby radzenia sobie z lękiem społecznym. Porusza także temat wyznaczania granic, zarządzania oczekiwaniami oraz skutecznej komunikacji.
Omawia jak przekuć nadmierne analizowanie w działanie i znaleźć przy tym zdrowy balans w codzienności
Pierwszym co nasuwa się na myśl w trakcie czytania/słuchania to że jest to tytuł otulający ciepłem, wsparciem, pozytywnym uświadomieniem jakie działania można podjąć w chwilach przytłoczenia czy zagubienia.
Jest wartościowa nie tylko dla osób zmagających się z niepewnością, ale także dla tych, którzy chcą lepiej rozumieć dynamikę relacji i własne emocje.
Dużym plusem jest zawarcie tu przede wszystkim wielu praktycznych narzędzi, które można zastosować w codziennym życiu, w konkretnych sytuacjach, których liczne przykłady podsuwa ten tytuł.
Myślę, że nie jest to tytuł „na raz” mimo swojej objętości. Ze względu na zakres wiedzy, bardzo konkretnych treści, porad, na których przyswojenie warto dać sobie czas i przestrzeń uważam, że poznawanie książki w długim czasie, kawałek po kawałku będzie bardziej korzystne.
Inspiruje, dodaje otuchy i przede wszystkim daje skuteczne metody działania.
Może momentami przegadana, może czasem powtarza porady, które są powszechnie znane (szczególnie jeśli poznajesz dużo samorozwojowychi psychologicznych pozycji), ale jej słuchanie ogromnie uspokaja i to jej duża wartość dodana.
Książka w której znajdziesz ciepło, spokój i wiele inspiracji do samorozwoju i samozaopiekowania.
Wersja audio w języku angielskim dostępna na bookbeat.
June 10, 2025
Dr. Julie Smith, cunoscută pentru bestsellerul „De ce nu mi-a spus nimeni asta până acum?”, revine cu un nou ghid practic și profund: Citește când... . Cartea este structurată într-o serie de capitole scurte și clare, gândite pentru a fi citite în momente emoționale specifice – furie, anxietate, tristețe, nesiguranță sau epuizare – oferind sfaturi personalizate pentru fiecare stare în parte.
Ceea ce face această carte specială este formatul intuitiv: capitolele sunt scrise ca scrisori directe de la autoare către cititor, creând o experiență empatică și orientată spre acțiune. Fie că te confrunți cu o izbucnire de furie (precum în capitolul 26) sau cu sindromul impostorului, regrete sau doliu, cartea devine o prezență calmă și înțeleaptă care te însoțește.
Din fiecare capitol nu primești doar validare emoțională, ci și instrumente psihologice valoroase, inspirate din terapia cognitiv-comportamentală, și ești învățat cum să le aplici în viața reală. Exerciții de respirație, întrebări de reflecție, tehnici de reformulare a gândurilor și dialoguri interioare pline de compasiune sunt prezentate într-un mod cald și clar. Citatele din Seneca, Victor Hugo, Aldous Huxley și alții îmbogățesc mesajul cu profunzime și relevanță atemporală.
Pe scurt, Citește când... nu este doar o carte pe care o citești – este o carte la care revii atunci când ai cea mai mare nevoie. Este un companion în reglarea emoțională, alfabetizarea emoțiilor și reziliența psihică, potrivită atât pentru dezvoltarea personală, cât și pentru a-i sprijini pe cei din jur.
Verdict: O carte profund utilă – sprijin emoțional, conținut științific solid și aplicații imediate. Recomandată oricui dorește să se înțeleagă mai bine pe sine și să acționeze cu intenție, chiar și în cele mai dificile momente ale vieții.
Ceea ce face această carte specială este formatul intuitiv: capitolele sunt scrise ca scrisori directe de la autoare către cititor, creând o experiență empatică și orientată spre acțiune. Fie că te confrunți cu o izbucnire de furie (precum în capitolul 26) sau cu sindromul impostorului, regrete sau doliu, cartea devine o prezență calmă și înțeleaptă care te însoțește.
Din fiecare capitol nu primești doar validare emoțională, ci și instrumente psihologice valoroase, inspirate din terapia cognitiv-comportamentală, și ești învățat cum să le aplici în viața reală. Exerciții de respirație, întrebări de reflecție, tehnici de reformulare a gândurilor și dialoguri interioare pline de compasiune sunt prezentate într-un mod cald și clar. Citatele din Seneca, Victor Hugo, Aldous Huxley și alții îmbogățesc mesajul cu profunzime și relevanță atemporală.
Pe scurt, Citește când... nu este doar o carte pe care o citești – este o carte la care revii atunci când ai cea mai mare nevoie. Este un companion în reglarea emoțională, alfabetizarea emoțiilor și reziliența psihică, potrivită atât pentru dezvoltarea personală, cât și pentru a-i sprijini pe cei din jur.
Verdict: O carte profund utilă – sprijin emoțional, conținut științific solid și aplicații imediate. Recomandată oricui dorește să se înțeleagă mai bine pe sine și să acționeze cu intenție, chiar și în cele mai dificile momente ale vieții.
March 9, 2025
3/5 overall.
This is book #2, a self-help book about how to navigate life's toughest occurrences while they're happening as written by psychologist Dr. Julie Smith. While I found content throughout this book was written in a simple / understandable way, it seemed this one was much more difficult for me to remain engaged in as there were sections that just didn't seem relevant; the way the book is written, it seems that reading it once-over then coming back to it in the moment to " open when".. is how it's intended to be referenced? I think her first book works better if you are wanting to read / learn explore from start to finish. As with her first book, I appreciated the sources and ties to evidence, as well as practical tools commonly used in the industry. I will take away a few things to keep handy in my "toolkit" for difficult situations.
This is book #2, a self-help book about how to navigate life's toughest occurrences while they're happening as written by psychologist Dr. Julie Smith. While I found content throughout this book was written in a simple / understandable way, it seemed this one was much more difficult for me to remain engaged in as there were sections that just didn't seem relevant; the way the book is written, it seems that reading it once-over then coming back to it in the moment to " open when".. is how it's intended to be referenced? I think her first book works better if you are wanting to read / learn explore from start to finish. As with her first book, I appreciated the sources and ties to evidence, as well as practical tools commonly used in the industry. I will take away a few things to keep handy in my "toolkit" for difficult situations.
May 22, 2025
The author has a very personal and authentic writing style. Readers may feel as if being a long-time friends who have been talking to them. The book has been conveyed in a very simple language and touches on so many areas that may have crossed your mind at one point or another, and perhaps been brushed away for want of the space, environment or company to discuss with. It is a book relevant accross all age groups. Highly recommended read!
August 27, 2025
Simpatică carte
Prima mi-a plăcut mult mai mult. Asta aș zice ca e potrivită mai mult pentru adolescenți sau pentru cei care au un bagaj de cărți în spate așa mai micuț.
Dacă sincer, video-urile dr Julie de pe YouTube sunt mult mai valoroase decât această carte.
Prima mi-a plăcut mult mai mult. Asta aș zice ca e potrivită mai mult pentru adolescenți sau pentru cei care au un bagaj de cărți în spate așa mai micuț.
Dacă sincer, video-urile dr Julie de pe YouTube sunt mult mai valoroase decât această carte.
January 29, 2025
Too superficial for me but for sure value added for young adults.
June 5, 2025
Just what I needed over the exam period
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