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Greatest Hits Mysteries #1
'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy
YOU CAN'T PICK YOUR FAMILY...
Death by Chocolate is her favorite dessert. And those knitting needles
aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary
single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top secret
assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her
kindergartner--would nooses count for a knot badge?--and keeping their
puppy from destroying the furniture, Gin now has to take out a new target.
Death by Chocolate is her favorite dessert. And those knitting needles
aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary
single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top secret
assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her
kindergartner--would nooses count for a knot badge?--and keeping their
puppy from destroying the furniture, Gin now has to take out a new target.
BUT YOU CAN PICK THEM OFF
Except this target has an incredibly hot Australian bodyguard who knows
just how to make her weak in the knees. But with a mole threatening to
expose everything, Gin doesn't have much time to let her hormones do the
happy dance. She's got to find the leak and clear her assignment...or
she'll end up next on the Bombay family hit list.
325 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2007
830 people are currently reading
2449 people want to read
About the author
Leslie Langtry
96 books714 followersLeslie Langtry is a USA Today Bestselling Author of the Merry Wrath Mysteries and the Bombay Family of Assassins Greatest Hits series. She lives in the Midwest with her family and is an active Girl Scout volunteer. Her dream is to someday invent calorie free cake.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 455 reviews
November 21, 2011
I'll admit, I pulled this off the library shelf because I thought the title was kinda cute.
My mistake.
I'm going to plow ahead with the spoilers here, since I highly recommend not reading this, and so you will not be particularly spoiled.
The author wants a breezy, ditzy tone a la Bridget Jones. She fails. Miserably. Gin Bombay is the most vapid, self-centered, shallow excuse for a human being to walk the planet. She's useless. She spends several hours lying on her kitchen floor because some hot dude she's known for two weeks walks out on her, justifiably upset when she informs him that she kills people for money. She's incapable for thinking for 30 seconds without getting derailed by thoughts of sex. Incredibly shallow thoughts of sex, of the kind that would put a 13 year old boy to shame. It gets old. Fast.
Other things that get old? Constant tee-hee reminders that she's an assassin. "Guess what my favorite dessert is? Death by Chocolate. Because it has the word 'death' in it, get it? It's because I'm an assassin. Ha ha ha! Sometimes I just kill myself. No, actually, I kill other people. Assassin, hello? Tee hee!"
I'll give a very slight credit for not going to the most obvious plot possible, in which the climax is Gin killing her bodyguard boyfriend's client and her easily discovering that the mole is the obnoxious cousin who is established as evil right off the bat. Now, the mole is in fact the cousin, but the author at least tries a small fake-out first. Annoyingly, a lot of time is spent fretting over the motive for why someone with a gigantic trust fund would betray all of their family. The only conceivable motive they can come up with is that the perpetrator is trying to get out of the assassination business. Given that everyone in the family is inducted into the business at the age of five and required to make their first kill at 15, and if you ever disobey, grandma hunts you down and kills you, that's actually kind of a noble motive. And Gin spends some time agonizing over the fact that her five year old daughter is getting dragged into this bloody mess this year and if Gin's deceased husband had known the truth, he would have been horrified. But, it turns out that the evil cousin totally did it, just 'cause. For the evulz, I suppose. And Uncle Lou, known best for hunting down the last family member to go astray, tries to protect the brat for no real reason, either, just 'cause we don't like him. I guess.
So as a reward for unraveling this all, Gin gets to get out of the family business, hurray! She never has to do the one thing she's actually competent at again, despite the fact that she didn't lose much sleep over it before and only felt bad because the hunky guy she's bedding was upset. Never mind that the rest of her family, including her beloved 5 year old child, is still involved and cannot get out. Everything is totally awesome because Gin the selfish, shallow idiot only has to teach her little kid to ruthlessly kill people instead of ruthlessly killing them herself. Hurray! Oh, and she uses her boon to protect lover boy, instead of just marrying him, without ever considering using it to get her daughter off the hook. Yeah, you're just Mother of the Year there.
Also, in Science: You're Doing It Wrong, another cousin is a super genius inventor whose inventions all break the laws of physics without the author being aware that they do so. Here's some hints: Noise dampeners do not work "exactly the same as" plug-in odor blockers. If you run someone's electronics equipment through an EMP field and wipe it all clean, then your computer whiz cannot simply fiddle with it for five minutes and all the data will miraculously be restored. And I'm pretty sure there's no way to fry someone's brain through their eye by switching their contacts to laser contacts.
So. Useless annoying heroine without a conscience or pair of brain cells to rub together. Evil cackling bad guy with no reason whatsoever for his actions. Incredibly perfect super hunk bodyguard boyfriend who's only slightly disapproving that his girlfriend is an assassin. "Happy" ending that is completely appalling. It's not the worst book I've read this year, but it's pretty darn close.
My mistake.
I'm going to plow ahead with the spoilers here, since I highly recommend not reading this, and so you will not be particularly spoiled.
The author wants a breezy, ditzy tone a la Bridget Jones. She fails. Miserably. Gin Bombay is the most vapid, self-centered, shallow excuse for a human being to walk the planet. She's useless. She spends several hours lying on her kitchen floor because some hot dude she's known for two weeks walks out on her, justifiably upset when she informs him that she kills people for money. She's incapable for thinking for 30 seconds without getting derailed by thoughts of sex. Incredibly shallow thoughts of sex, of the kind that would put a 13 year old boy to shame. It gets old. Fast.
Other things that get old? Constant tee-hee reminders that she's an assassin. "Guess what my favorite dessert is? Death by Chocolate. Because it has the word 'death' in it, get it? It's because I'm an assassin. Ha ha ha! Sometimes I just kill myself. No, actually, I kill other people. Assassin, hello? Tee hee!"
I'll give a very slight credit for not going to the most obvious plot possible, in which the climax is Gin killing her bodyguard boyfriend's client and her easily discovering that the mole is the obnoxious cousin who is established as evil right off the bat. Now, the mole is in fact the cousin, but the author at least tries a small fake-out first. Annoyingly, a lot of time is spent fretting over the motive for why someone with a gigantic trust fund would betray all of their family. The only conceivable motive they can come up with is that the perpetrator is trying to get out of the assassination business. Given that everyone in the family is inducted into the business at the age of five and required to make their first kill at 15, and if you ever disobey, grandma hunts you down and kills you, that's actually kind of a noble motive. And Gin spends some time agonizing over the fact that her five year old daughter is getting dragged into this bloody mess this year and if Gin's deceased husband had known the truth, he would have been horrified. But, it turns out that the evil cousin totally did it, just 'cause. For the evulz, I suppose. And Uncle Lou, known best for hunting down the last family member to go astray, tries to protect the brat for no real reason, either, just 'cause we don't like him. I guess.
So as a reward for unraveling this all, Gin gets to get out of the family business, hurray! She never has to do the one thing she's actually competent at again, despite the fact that she didn't lose much sleep over it before and only felt bad because the hunky guy she's bedding was upset. Never mind that the rest of her family, including her beloved 5 year old child, is still involved and cannot get out. Everything is totally awesome because Gin the selfish, shallow idiot only has to teach her little kid to ruthlessly kill people instead of ruthlessly killing them herself. Hurray! Oh, and she uses her boon to protect lover boy, instead of just marrying him, without ever considering using it to get her daughter off the hook. Yeah, you're just Mother of the Year there.
Also, in Science: You're Doing It Wrong, another cousin is a super genius inventor whose inventions all break the laws of physics without the author being aware that they do so. Here's some hints: Noise dampeners do not work "exactly the same as" plug-in odor blockers. If you run someone's electronics equipment through an EMP field and wipe it all clean, then your computer whiz cannot simply fiddle with it for five minutes and all the data will miraculously be restored. And I'm pretty sure there's no way to fry someone's brain through their eye by switching their contacts to laser contacts.
So. Useless annoying heroine without a conscience or pair of brain cells to rub together. Evil cackling bad guy with no reason whatsoever for his actions. Incredibly perfect super hunk bodyguard boyfriend who's only slightly disapproving that his girlfriend is an assassin. "Happy" ending that is completely appalling. It's not the worst book I've read this year, but it's pretty darn close.
October 1, 2017
"YOU CAN'T PICK YOUR FAMILY... "
In 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy, the main character Virginia (Gin) Bombay belongs to a family of assassins. In the Bombay family there is no leaving the family business unless you want to die.
"BUT YOU CAN PICK THEM OFF."
A family meeting is called and usually this only takes place if one of the family members is in big trouble, like they betrayed the family kind of trouble, and that usually means one of the other family members will be chosen to carry out the assassination. Yeah, real warm and fuzzy family we have here...
I went into this book hoping that it was truly laugh out loud funny, maybe like Mr. and Mrs. Smith was funny, especially after she meets a guy who claims to be a bodyguard, which is what she uses as her cover. There was so much potential there. He could have been secretly working against her or something, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
With the exception of one paragraph about Chia Pets with supersonic listening devices, this book didn't make me laugh at all. I know I was supposed to find the main character's inner monologue about the hot guy she had just started dating funny but to me it was just cheesy (and the insta-love thing ugh!). I was probably also supposed to laugh at the first names of the whole Bombay family in which every one of them is named after a place, like Uncle Lou whose name is Louisiana (who would do that to a guy?), or cousin Missi. That's short for Mississippi in case you couldn't figure that out. The whole name thing might have started out mildly amusing, but it got old and repetitive after a while, which resulted in me rolling my eyes every time a new relative was named.
However, my biggest problem with this book beyond it not being funny was the fact that the Bombays were all forced to start training to become assassins at the age of 5 and Gin's daughter is now turning 5. If there was anything funny about this book, it would have been trumped by this as I just couldn't stand the thought of training 5 year olds to be killers and there was no way the book could make this seem ok to me. Also Gin suddenly realizes her daughter is turning 5 and kind of freaks out about it because, oh my goodness she forgot her daughter was going to have to start her assassin training. I'm pretty sure that any real mother would have been thinking about that for years.
So overall this was a letdown and it seems I'm still looking for a really funny, lighthearted mystery. This is a series but I will not be continuing with it.
Review also posted at Writings of a Reader
In 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy, the main character Virginia (Gin) Bombay belongs to a family of assassins. In the Bombay family there is no leaving the family business unless you want to die.
"BUT YOU CAN PICK THEM OFF."
A family meeting is called and usually this only takes place if one of the family members is in big trouble, like they betrayed the family kind of trouble, and that usually means one of the other family members will be chosen to carry out the assassination. Yeah, real warm and fuzzy family we have here...
I went into this book hoping that it was truly laugh out loud funny, maybe like Mr. and Mrs. Smith was funny, especially after she meets a guy who claims to be a bodyguard, which is what she uses as her cover. There was so much potential there. He could have been secretly working against her or something, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
With the exception of one paragraph about Chia Pets with supersonic listening devices, this book didn't make me laugh at all. I know I was supposed to find the main character's inner monologue about the hot guy she had just started dating funny but to me it was just cheesy (and the insta-love thing ugh!). I was probably also supposed to laugh at the first names of the whole Bombay family in which every one of them is named after a place, like Uncle Lou whose name is Louisiana (who would do that to a guy?), or cousin Missi. That's short for Mississippi in case you couldn't figure that out. The whole name thing might have started out mildly amusing, but it got old and repetitive after a while, which resulted in me rolling my eyes every time a new relative was named.
However, my biggest problem with this book beyond it not being funny was the fact that the Bombays were all forced to start training to become assassins at the age of 5 and Gin's daughter is now turning 5. If there was anything funny about this book, it would have been trumped by this as I just couldn't stand the thought of training 5 year olds to be killers and there was no way the book could make this seem ok to me. Also Gin suddenly realizes her daughter is turning 5 and kind of freaks out about it because, oh my goodness she forgot her daughter was going to have to start her assassin training. I'm pretty sure that any real mother would have been thinking about that for years.
So overall this was a letdown and it seems I'm still looking for a really funny, lighthearted mystery. This is a series but I will not be continuing with it.
Review also posted at Writings of a Reader
Read
September 11, 2023I read this because the author offered a free download of it, and while the tone was fun (my favorite moment was a mention of setting up an assassin training room for five-year-old girls with a Disney princess theme), the humor was far too much about gags and set-ups. It's supposed to be a light hearted romp, I know, but the shallowness and the plot holes made me feel like I was wasting my time. I love light entertainment, but I still require logical sense, and I couldn't buy into the concept of the book if there was so little evidence to suggest that the protagonist was capable of being a competent assassin. The romance was tepid. Characters reacted blandly and without uniqueness, and they seemed to service the straight-forward plot rather than act out of any actually motivations or desires. It was a two-dimensional story that remained that way throughout.
Additionally, the use of "mentally retarded" as a pejorative and referring to someone trans as "gender challenged" made this an unfriendly read.
Additionally, the use of "mentally retarded" as a pejorative and referring to someone trans as "gender challenged" made this an unfriendly read.
March 25, 2021
I didn't know what to think of this book for the first few chapters. I even entertained DNFing the book, it just wasn't giving me a "you have to finish me" vibe. But, I'm a sucker for the sarcastic, flippant humor and I gradually grew to want to see how this all ended up. I'm glad I did. I'm not going to say it is a wonderful, spectacular book, but it ended up being pretty darn good. Lots of humor, cozy sex and a mystery that finally focused the plot.
The Bombay family can trace their linage back a millennium. They are a close knit family of assassins. Each child born into the family is trained to be deadly. Outwardly, Gin (short for Virginia) Bombay appears to be just another widowed, single mom of a 5 year old, trying to cope the best she can. But, her "job" is taking out the real vile baddies in the world. When her current Vic comes with a drop dead gorgeous Australian bodyguard that has been tearing up the sheets with Gin, well that was a difficult job, but Gin got it done.
Gin is next tasked with finding a mole within the Bombay Family. Saying "no" to the Council is a fast trip off this earth. Gin has no choice but to find the mole, even when it could be someone she cares about. Luckily, Gin is not above breaking some of the Bombay Family rules in order to find the mole and keep her small family safe.
The Bombay family can trace their linage back a millennium. They are a close knit family of assassins. Each child born into the family is trained to be deadly. Outwardly, Gin (short for Virginia) Bombay appears to be just another widowed, single mom of a 5 year old, trying to cope the best she can. But, her "job" is taking out the real vile baddies in the world. When her current Vic comes with a drop dead gorgeous Australian bodyguard that has been tearing up the sheets with Gin, well that was a difficult job, but Gin got it done.
Gin is next tasked with finding a mole within the Bombay Family. Saying "no" to the Council is a fast trip off this earth. Gin has no choice but to find the mole, even when it could be someone she cares about. Luckily, Gin is not above breaking some of the Bombay Family rules in order to find the mole and keep her small family safe.
May 24, 2013
I'm really surprised by the number of good reviews this book has gotten. I was only maybe two or three pages in when I realized that the writing style was going to be a complete train wreck to the very end. Imagine my horror when I discovered the author shares my zip code; she's not making us look very good here in Iowa and I can't help but be a little embarrassed for her.
I tore through this book in hours because the reading level was equal to that of a story written for a 6th grader. Everything was stated plainly with straightforward sentences that didn't leave anything to the imagination. This alone wouldn't have been all that damaging (it is a romance novel after all and I don't expect too much from those) but add to that the random thoughts of the narrator that serve no other purpose than to make her sound like a complete moron and the writing style just became grating. Such as:
"She spread her withering gaze like a thick layer of rancid mayonnaise. (Hey! That kinda rhymes!)"
Even worse are the cheesy insertions every time the hunky male is around that make the leading lady appear to be incapable of thinking of anything other than sex in his presence. Such comments didn't add to the romance part of the novel so much as it contributed to the development of this character into a pathetic puddle of a woman. For example:
"Italian food? Did he know that was the way to my bed...I mean heart? 'Great! See you then.'"
To be fair, I'm not a romance novel kind of girl. I was tricked into reading this book because it was in the mystery section instead of the romance section. I liked the sound of the title and the synopsis lead me to believe the story would be interesting, and it was. Unfortunately, there were many flaws that made the story unbelievably unbelievable. The references to science and gadgetry were outlandish, the romance was predictable, the mystery short lived and the explanations of potential plot holes were weak at best.
Overall, I probably wouldn't recommend this book to a friend, I definitely won't read it again and it's doubtful that I'll ever read anything by this author again. The only reason I even finished this one is the hope I held onto that the story's potential would be realized. I was disappointed.
I tore through this book in hours because the reading level was equal to that of a story written for a 6th grader. Everything was stated plainly with straightforward sentences that didn't leave anything to the imagination. This alone wouldn't have been all that damaging (it is a romance novel after all and I don't expect too much from those) but add to that the random thoughts of the narrator that serve no other purpose than to make her sound like a complete moron and the writing style just became grating. Such as:
"She spread her withering gaze like a thick layer of rancid mayonnaise. (Hey! That kinda rhymes!)"
Even worse are the cheesy insertions every time the hunky male is around that make the leading lady appear to be incapable of thinking of anything other than sex in his presence. Such comments didn't add to the romance part of the novel so much as it contributed to the development of this character into a pathetic puddle of a woman. For example:
"Italian food? Did he know that was the way to my bed...I mean heart? 'Great! See you then.'"
To be fair, I'm not a romance novel kind of girl. I was tricked into reading this book because it was in the mystery section instead of the romance section. I liked the sound of the title and the synopsis lead me to believe the story would be interesting, and it was. Unfortunately, there were many flaws that made the story unbelievably unbelievable. The references to science and gadgetry were outlandish, the romance was predictable, the mystery short lived and the explanations of potential plot holes were weak at best.
Overall, I probably wouldn't recommend this book to a friend, I definitely won't read it again and it's doubtful that I'll ever read anything by this author again. The only reason I even finished this one is the hope I held onto that the story's potential would be realized. I was disappointed.
July 18, 2009
Enjoyable but very, very, very, predictable. I knew that she and Diego would fall in love regardless of her profession clashing with his. I knew that her brother wasn’t really responsible for betraying family secrets. I knew that the author was making us hate Ritchie for a reason – so that we wouldn’t mind when he became the bad guy and had to be taken out. I even knew that Diego would come back to save the day at the end regardless of his fight with Gin.
I did try to maintain high hopes. I hoped that Diego might turn out to be a bad guy himself, kinda like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I hoped that while Dak was innocent Liv might turn out to be guilty of framing him to protect her own brother. I hoped that Ritchie – hateful, disgusting Ritchie – would be the one to save the day in his own bungling way. I even hoped that the Council would find out that she had told Liv and do something about it to prove a point. I hoped that something out of the ordinary would happen to make the book just a little less predictable.
Instead the main character caught the evil, bad guy that she hated, got the love of her life in spite of having killed his client and lied to him, the mean-old PTA lady stopped talking to her, and the Council even let her retire 14 years early so that she could be happy with her daughter and lover-turned-husband. The council was even taken out by electronic thingamabobs inside their brains that electrocuted them. Huh? It was almost like an Austin Powers movie what with the predictability, obviously evil bad guys, and cheesy lines/jokes/puns.
And yet…. And yet. I would still read the next book in the series. I wouldn’t mind reading about Dakota starring in his own romance and at the same time getting small glimpses of Gin and her new, perfect family through his eyes. Something tells me that he will have exactly the same voice as his sister, but I will just have to read it knowing that the whole thing will be easy to figure out and that a brother just so happens to think in exactly the same way as his sister.
Because even though it was trashy and predictable, it was also fun. Kinda like Cadbury chocolate versus Hersheys. Sometimes you can enjoy a Hershey bar even when you know that something better is out there. ‘Cause, it’s still chocolate!
I did try to maintain high hopes. I hoped that Diego might turn out to be a bad guy himself, kinda like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I hoped that while Dak was innocent Liv might turn out to be guilty of framing him to protect her own brother. I hoped that Ritchie – hateful, disgusting Ritchie – would be the one to save the day in his own bungling way. I even hoped that the Council would find out that she had told Liv and do something about it to prove a point. I hoped that something out of the ordinary would happen to make the book just a little less predictable.
Instead the main character caught the evil, bad guy that she hated, got the love of her life in spite of having killed his client and lied to him, the mean-old PTA lady stopped talking to her, and the Council even let her retire 14 years early so that she could be happy with her daughter and lover-turned-husband. The council was even taken out by electronic thingamabobs inside their brains that electrocuted them. Huh? It was almost like an Austin Powers movie what with the predictability, obviously evil bad guys, and cheesy lines/jokes/puns.
And yet…. And yet. I would still read the next book in the series. I wouldn’t mind reading about Dakota starring in his own romance and at the same time getting small glimpses of Gin and her new, perfect family through his eyes. Something tells me that he will have exactly the same voice as his sister, but I will just have to read it knowing that the whole thing will be easy to figure out and that a brother just so happens to think in exactly the same way as his sister.
Because even though it was trashy and predictable, it was also fun. Kinda like Cadbury chocolate versus Hersheys. Sometimes you can enjoy a Hershey bar even when you know that something better is out there. ‘Cause, it’s still chocolate!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 14, 2021
Ugg
DO NOT BOTHER READING THIS HORRID BOOK.
DO NOT BOTHER READING THIS HORRID BOOK.
June 25, 2012
I LOVED this book! It was hilarious, I think this is one of the first books that I was literally laughing out loud and people would look at me weird.
Virgina (Ginny) Bombay is your typical, average, widowed mother of a five year old daughter named Romi. She is always there to pick up her daughter from school, buys cookies from the bakery to have her daughter take them to school (her archnemisis told her to hand make them this time), spends time with her cousin Liz and Paris as well as her brother Dak, oh and during her down time she just happened to make the occasional assassination here or there. Her life was going great until she gets a family reunion in the mail, with the entire family being assassins, reunions are NOT a good thing. At the same time this happens, she meets a bodyguard named Diego, and falls instantly head over heels for him. Can Ginny fit in love while dealing with her family reunion problems, being the leader of a Daisy Troupe (recruited reluctantly by her archenmisis), and her assassination assignments?
Virgina (Ginny) Bombay is your typical, average, widowed mother of a five year old daughter named Romi. She is always there to pick up her daughter from school, buys cookies from the bakery to have her daughter take them to school (her archnemisis told her to hand make them this time), spends time with her cousin Liz and Paris as well as her brother Dak, oh and during her down time she just happened to make the occasional assassination here or there. Her life was going great until she gets a family reunion in the mail, with the entire family being assassins, reunions are NOT a good thing. At the same time this happens, she meets a bodyguard named Diego, and falls instantly head over heels for him. Can Ginny fit in love while dealing with her family reunion problems, being the leader of a Daisy Troupe (recruited reluctantly by her archenmisis), and her assassination assignments?
March 2, 2009
This was one of the funiest books I have ever read. I couldn't put it down and couldn't stop laughing. It was a quick read for me (about 3-4 hours) but totally worth it... I can't wait to read more from Ms. Langtry and her location based Bombay Assassins! Amazing Read! Normally I want more with the couples within books but with the Bombay's I wanted more family time... LOL! One of the best families in all the books I have read.
February 6, 2020
More is not always good.
You know the adage that you can always add more seasoning but not take it away...that is unfortunately what happened in this book.
There was more “witty” on top of more “sorta witty” that it bogged down the story. The family dynamics were fun. Who wouldn’t love a brother who got rid of a dead body for you by giving it to a lion at the zoo?
Unfortunately the romance had nothing. It had potential but was DOA.
You know the adage that you can always add more seasoning but not take it away...that is unfortunately what happened in this book.
There was more “witty” on top of more “sorta witty” that it bogged down the story. The family dynamics were fun. Who wouldn’t love a brother who got rid of a dead body for you by giving it to a lion at the zoo?
Unfortunately the romance had nothing. It had potential but was DOA.
January 13, 2013
We all read different kinds of books depending on mood, school, time of day, etc. Sometimes something light is required. This series fits the bill.
Virginia (all the family members are named after cities or geographic locations) is a member of the Bombay family whose tradition and business is they are assassins. All independently wealthy thanks to the family trust fund, each receives assignments from the "Council" made up of senior family members. Part of the family reunions, normally held every five years is to eliminate someone in the family who has failed some assignment and to initiate children just turning five into their new responsibilities. Each member develops a specialty: " Poison was my specialty. Everyone in the family had a favorite way of killing people, even though we were required to cross-train. With my brother, it was asphyxiation and/or strangulation. And while I should probably worry about that, it made us a good team because we both liked to make each job resemble death by natural cause. Of course, occasionally we ran out of time and had to leave the scene of the crime with a plastic bag still on the victim’s head, but that happened only once when I’d been running late from picking up Romi from preschool." Held on their own private island, they have to go inside buildings every day at 4 p.m. to avoid passing satellite surveillance. This invitation is unusual in that it comes just one year after the last. Refusing is not an option.
"As I stroked the creamy vellum paper, for a brief moment I thought about sending my regrets. But only for a moment. After all, it wasn’t an option on the R.S.V.P. card. Unlike most family reunions with sack races, bad weather and crappy T-shirts, where to refuse to go only meant you weren’t in the ridiculous all-family photo, to turn down this invitation was death. That’s right. Death. Any blooded member of the family who didn’t show was terminated. Now, where had I put that goddamned pen?"
It appears a mole has wormed his way into the family, it's a male member of the family is all that's known and Virginia has been assigned the task of eliminating the threat. Things get complicated when she falls in love with a bodyguard for a man she has been assigned to take out. But enough plot. Just plain fun.
Virginia (all the family members are named after cities or geographic locations) is a member of the Bombay family whose tradition and business is they are assassins. All independently wealthy thanks to the family trust fund, each receives assignments from the "Council" made up of senior family members. Part of the family reunions, normally held every five years is to eliminate someone in the family who has failed some assignment and to initiate children just turning five into their new responsibilities. Each member develops a specialty: " Poison was my specialty. Everyone in the family had a favorite way of killing people, even though we were required to cross-train. With my brother, it was asphyxiation and/or strangulation. And while I should probably worry about that, it made us a good team because we both liked to make each job resemble death by natural cause. Of course, occasionally we ran out of time and had to leave the scene of the crime with a plastic bag still on the victim’s head, but that happened only once when I’d been running late from picking up Romi from preschool." Held on their own private island, they have to go inside buildings every day at 4 p.m. to avoid passing satellite surveillance. This invitation is unusual in that it comes just one year after the last. Refusing is not an option.
"As I stroked the creamy vellum paper, for a brief moment I thought about sending my regrets. But only for a moment. After all, it wasn’t an option on the R.S.V.P. card. Unlike most family reunions with sack races, bad weather and crappy T-shirts, where to refuse to go only meant you weren’t in the ridiculous all-family photo, to turn down this invitation was death. That’s right. Death. Any blooded member of the family who didn’t show was terminated. Now, where had I put that goddamned pen?"
It appears a mole has wormed his way into the family, it's a male member of the family is all that's known and Virginia has been assigned the task of eliminating the threat. Things get complicated when she falls in love with a bodyguard for a man she has been assigned to take out. But enough plot. Just plain fun.
July 31, 2012
There's a scene in this book in which the heroine is so awestruck by the handsome man who sits down at her Borders coffee-corner table that she ends up sprinkling salt in her latte.
That scene could serve as a metaphor for the entire book, which is an astonishing and unlikely mix of funny, fast-paced, chick-lit set against a totally off-the-wall background that could have come directly from a superhero comic.
Ginny Bombay is a widowed mother of a cute daughter. She's also a member of a family that has specialised in assassination for thousands of years, each child being initiated at the age of five, trained in the lethal arts, and obliged to make their first hit at fifteen.
Two story lines intertwine: Ginny's infatuation with Diego, the professional bodyguard she met in Borders, and her involvement with her family affairs. The two story lines come together and sour Ginny's relationship with Diego, but all ends well.
The ancient family of secret assassins provided both tension and comedy, but despite a total suspension of disbelief, one story element was too much to swallow. For a professional assassin who takes meticulous care in all her hits, and is aware of the penalty of prompt execution for any infringement of the family code, Ginny immediately blabs top-secret information to her sister and then to most of her relatives, presumably putting all of them at risk of sudden death.
This incongruity dropped my rating from five to four. Otherwise 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy is a marvellous tongue-in-cheek romp with a delightfully ebullient middle-aged protagonist.
Interesting that Ms Langtry (like several other authors) chose a title that puns on the mondegreen version of Jimi Hendrix's lyric, not the original. But then once the mondegreen went viral, even Jimi began to sing the incorrect version—I saw him do so live, which just goes to show my age. (So what's wrong with being a geriatric hippy, huh?)
That scene could serve as a metaphor for the entire book, which is an astonishing and unlikely mix of funny, fast-paced, chick-lit set against a totally off-the-wall background that could have come directly from a superhero comic.
Ginny Bombay is a widowed mother of a cute daughter. She's also a member of a family that has specialised in assassination for thousands of years, each child being initiated at the age of five, trained in the lethal arts, and obliged to make their first hit at fifteen.
Two story lines intertwine: Ginny's infatuation with Diego, the professional bodyguard she met in Borders, and her involvement with her family affairs. The two story lines come together and sour Ginny's relationship with Diego, but all ends well.
The ancient family of secret assassins provided both tension and comedy, but despite a total suspension of disbelief, one story element was too much to swallow. For a professional assassin who takes meticulous care in all her hits, and is aware of the penalty of prompt execution for any infringement of the family code, Ginny immediately blabs top-secret information to her sister and then to most of her relatives, presumably putting all of them at risk of sudden death.
This incongruity dropped my rating from five to four. Otherwise 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy is a marvellous tongue-in-cheek romp with a delightfully ebullient middle-aged protagonist.
Interesting that Ms Langtry (like several other authors) chose a title that puns on the mondegreen version of Jimi Hendrix's lyric, not the original. But then once the mondegreen went viral, even Jimi began to sing the incorrect version—I saw him do so live, which just goes to show my age. (So what's wrong with being a geriatric hippy, huh?)
August 19, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. Not because it is a wonderful piece of literature - it doesn't even pretend to be - but because it is a great piece of escapist comedy fiction, based on a completely implausible premise, whilst populated with likeable and fairly believable characters.
I loved the matter-of-fact first person view of this almost normal soccer-mom assassin, locked into her age old family business of contract killing.
Put your common sense on hold, ease up your grip on morality, and enjoy some laugh out loud (and some groan out loud) moments of comedy action, interspersed with a little good old fashioned romance.
My one criticism would be that the paragraph indenting/formatting hasn't translated over to Kindle perfectly - but I have alerted the author to this fact via another forum. After the first few pages, it was only a very minor distraction.
Enjoy.
DKM - Author of 'Super Duty' available on Kindle.
I loved the matter-of-fact first person view of this almost normal soccer-mom assassin, locked into her age old family business of contract killing.
Put your common sense on hold, ease up your grip on morality, and enjoy some laugh out loud (and some groan out loud) moments of comedy action, interspersed with a little good old fashioned romance.
My one criticism would be that the paragraph indenting/formatting hasn't translated over to Kindle perfectly - but I have alerted the author to this fact via another forum. After the first few pages, it was only a very minor distraction.
Enjoy.
DKM - Author of 'Super Duty' available on Kindle.
September 25, 2010
Maybe just a shade under 5 stars, but I had to give it more than four. What a hoot! Reminded me of the Spellman Files, only more deadly. Buy into the absurdity of a family that has been a tightly-run bunch of assassins for a few thousand years, in which failure to attend the family "reunion" signs your death warrant... overlook the moral ambiguity of being a hired killer (hey, it's mostly only bad guys), and get to know the great lead and supporting characters, and it's a ton of fun. Throw in a hunky Aussie bodyguard, and try to figure out who is betraying the family (and therefore must die), and you'll want to read the whole series. I'm going to.
July 5, 2012
4.5/5 stars
I absolutely loved this book! Yes, I realize, a lot of people will complain that it's kind of shallow and ditzy, and that the plot isn't the very strongest you could find.
But trust me, it's funny. It's what I call "brainless reading," meaning that you don't have to really concentrate in order to get what's going on, which we all need sometimes. Especially if you have kids running wild around you.
Maybe it's because I love spy-type stories, but this one just struck home with me. I'll definitely be reading the rest of the series!
I absolutely loved this book! Yes, I realize, a lot of people will complain that it's kind of shallow and ditzy, and that the plot isn't the very strongest you could find.
But trust me, it's funny. It's what I call "brainless reading," meaning that you don't have to really concentrate in order to get what's going on, which we all need sometimes. Especially if you have kids running wild around you.
Maybe it's because I love spy-type stories, but this one just struck home with me. I'll definitely be reading the rest of the series!
August 16, 2017
Hilarious and refreshing. It's so dysfunctional that it is just right!!!
“Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.”
-Creasy, Man on Fire
“Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.”
-Creasy, Man on Fire
September 13, 2015
So, who knew that a novel about a family of assassins could be screamingly funny?
I certainly didn't until I read Leslie Langtry's 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy.
Langtry has fashioned a truly funny, occasionally romantic novel with an unlikely heroine: Gin Bombay is a widowed suburban single parent raising a 5-year-old daughter, a Daisy Scout troop leader and - oh yeah - a highly efficient killer.
(She prefers poison but has been known to use other weapons to dispatch her victims, including a claw hammer.)
In this novel - the first in a series of books about the Bombay family of assassins - Gin is summoned to an unusual family reunion and asked to ferret out a spy who has been secretly passing information to the FBI and Scotland Yard. The problem: The spy is a member of the family and when she finds him or her, Gin is expected to kill the mole who has been leaking the Bombay family's secrets to law enforcement. Bigger problem: The spy just might be her beloved younger brother.
I know, that doesn't really sound like it could be funny but in Langtry's hands it definitely is and you'll have to read the book to see just how deftly this very talented author turns what could be a dark, dreary melodrama into a lighthearted comedy.
Gin (short for Virginia - all Bombay family members are named after states or cities for some odd reason) has other complications to contend with. She's got a major crush on a hunky Australian bodyguard whose client just might be her next target and she's supposed to begin teaching her daughter the tricks of the assassin's trade so she can join the family's somewhat unorthodox business. (All Bombay family members - in a tradition stretching back to ancient Greece - are expected to make their first kill before their 15th birthdays.)
Some reviewers have tried to compare Langtry's books to those written by Janet Evanovich but I think that's a mistake. Yes, both Gin Bombay and Evanovich's Stephanie Plum have romantic troubles, yes they are both funny and, yes, they are both prone to wisecracking. The similarities end there, however, in my opinion. Langtry's characters are not cheap knock-offs of Plum and her eccentric family; they are richly drawn men and women who are trying to make their way in a difficult world as best they can - albeit in a way most of us would find a trifle difficult to approve of.
If you're looking for a book with an interesting twist, something a little out of the ordinary, I highly recommend this one.
I certainly didn't until I read Leslie Langtry's 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy.
Langtry has fashioned a truly funny, occasionally romantic novel with an unlikely heroine: Gin Bombay is a widowed suburban single parent raising a 5-year-old daughter, a Daisy Scout troop leader and - oh yeah - a highly efficient killer.
(She prefers poison but has been known to use other weapons to dispatch her victims, including a claw hammer.)
In this novel - the first in a series of books about the Bombay family of assassins - Gin is summoned to an unusual family reunion and asked to ferret out a spy who has been secretly passing information to the FBI and Scotland Yard. The problem: The spy is a member of the family and when she finds him or her, Gin is expected to kill the mole who has been leaking the Bombay family's secrets to law enforcement. Bigger problem: The spy just might be her beloved younger brother.
I know, that doesn't really sound like it could be funny but in Langtry's hands it definitely is and you'll have to read the book to see just how deftly this very talented author turns what could be a dark, dreary melodrama into a lighthearted comedy.
Gin (short for Virginia - all Bombay family members are named after states or cities for some odd reason) has other complications to contend with. She's got a major crush on a hunky Australian bodyguard whose client just might be her next target and she's supposed to begin teaching her daughter the tricks of the assassin's trade so she can join the family's somewhat unorthodox business. (All Bombay family members - in a tradition stretching back to ancient Greece - are expected to make their first kill before their 15th birthdays.)
Some reviewers have tried to compare Langtry's books to those written by Janet Evanovich but I think that's a mistake. Yes, both Gin Bombay and Evanovich's Stephanie Plum have romantic troubles, yes they are both funny and, yes, they are both prone to wisecracking. The similarities end there, however, in my opinion. Langtry's characters are not cheap knock-offs of Plum and her eccentric family; they are richly drawn men and women who are trying to make their way in a difficult world as best they can - albeit in a way most of us would find a trifle difficult to approve of.
If you're looking for a book with an interesting twist, something a little out of the ordinary, I highly recommend this one.
September 28, 2012
No Spoilers...
First up I want to say that this was a freebie, and one that I'm pleased to have in my library. Okay, on with the review.
This was a tough one, as I'd read the premise and there were some aspects to it that I wasn't exactly comfortable with.
But it's just a book right?
So I sat down to read it, and soon became entranced by the characters... Knowing that the thing i had an issue with was going to be just around the corner sometime soon, and being the chicken Lilly livered person that I am, I put the book down. I read a couple of other books, then picked this up again. This went on for some time let me tell you - until yesterday that is. I finally got to the bit I was so 'hung up' about, and from then on it was a real page turner.
Yes I loved the characters.
Yes the storyline was good.
Yes I will read it again.
What I loved? The way it made me burst out laughing every now and again at the most unlikeliest of moments.
I've already covered the bit I didn't like, but lets just say, there really was no problem, except for the one in my head.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
First up I want to say that this was a freebie, and one that I'm pleased to have in my library. Okay, on with the review.
This was a tough one, as I'd read the premise and there were some aspects to it that I wasn't exactly comfortable with.
But it's just a book right?
So I sat down to read it, and soon became entranced by the characters... Knowing that the thing i had an issue with was going to be just around the corner sometime soon, and being the chicken Lilly livered person that I am, I put the book down. I read a couple of other books, then picked this up again. This went on for some time let me tell you - until yesterday that is. I finally got to the bit I was so 'hung up' about, and from then on it was a real page turner.
Yes I loved the characters.
Yes the storyline was good.
Yes I will read it again.
What I loved? The way it made me burst out laughing every now and again at the most unlikeliest of moments.
I've already covered the bit I didn't like, but lets just say, there really was no problem, except for the one in my head.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
July 15, 2012
I absolutely LOVED this book. I haven't read something so entertaining since opening my first Stephanie Plum Series book.
It's the story of Ginny Bombay, a plain ol' american soccer mom, who just happens to also be from a family full of professional assassins. The writing is witty, suspenseful, and emotional. Ginny tells her story as she tries to balance her duties as a mom, her desires in a new relationship, and the responsibilities as a member of the Bombay Assassin family. You wouldn't think you'd be rooting for the killer in a book, but all of a sudden, there you are, cheering Ginny on "KILL HIM!" :D
I really enjoyed the humor in the book. It reminded me of the Janet Evanovich 'Stephanie Plum' novels. Fast paced, humorous, and full of colorful characters.
I will definitely be continuing my Journey with the Bombay family.
It's the story of Ginny Bombay, a plain ol' american soccer mom, who just happens to also be from a family full of professional assassins. The writing is witty, suspenseful, and emotional. Ginny tells her story as she tries to balance her duties as a mom, her desires in a new relationship, and the responsibilities as a member of the Bombay Assassin family. You wouldn't think you'd be rooting for the killer in a book, but all of a sudden, there you are, cheering Ginny on "KILL HIM!" :D
I really enjoyed the humor in the book. It reminded me of the Janet Evanovich 'Stephanie Plum' novels. Fast paced, humorous, and full of colorful characters.
I will definitely be continuing my Journey with the Bombay family.
September 1, 2015
This book is laugh-out-loud funny! I couldn't put it down! I discovered it when playing a Title & Author Game in one of my book clubs. (I forgot which.) I thought the plot line was funny sounding and the first one was only $0.99 - so I thought "what the hell".
I am so glad I did it. I may even be willing to pay more for the sequels. Imagine you are expected - nay, required - to join the family business. In fact, your first training starts when you are five and you are expected to go solo at 15? It's one thing if the family business is plumbing or accounting, but Ginny Bombay's family business is assassination!
It's hard to make murder light hearted and funny, but Langtry does it just fine!
I am so glad I did it. I may even be willing to pay more for the sequels. Imagine you are expected - nay, required - to join the family business. In fact, your first training starts when you are five and you are expected to go solo at 15? It's one thing if the family business is plumbing or accounting, but Ginny Bombay's family business is assassination!
It's hard to make murder light hearted and funny, but Langtry does it just fine!
July 30, 2012
I read this book for the author for an honest review. I loved the title of this book and wanted to know more about it. This book was fast paced and funny. The charcter of Ginny is down right hysterical.
Ginny's family is a family of assassins. It goes back many generations. This family makes it sound so easy to kill someone, physically and pyschologically. The Council (elder members of the family) have found out there is a mole within the family. It is now Ginny's job to find out who he/she is and bring that person to the Council.
Ginny finds out rather quickly who the assassin is....or did she? You'll have to read it for yourself to find out. I highly recommed it.
Ginny's family is a family of assassins. It goes back many generations. This family makes it sound so easy to kill someone, physically and pyschologically. The Council (elder members of the family) have found out there is a mole within the family. It is now Ginny's job to find out who he/she is and bring that person to the Council.
Ginny finds out rather quickly who the assassin is....or did she? You'll have to read it for yourself to find out. I highly recommed it.
June 7, 2018
So I took this book with me to read while waiting for someone who had a half day appt. I knew it was light simple reading and would not take me long. I give this book 3 stars only because it made me laugh my ass off in a slightly crowded waiting room. Yes, I made some ppl smile and some give me crazy looks .Keep in mind the story and characters are unbelievably insane and far fetched. There is one part where Rum is involved that made me laugh so hard my side hurt. Many have written bad reviews of this book and many have written good. I say it's in between. Just keep an open mind and remember it's fiction......it made my wait quite fun :)
July 7, 2012
It was free for my Kindle, and I was looking for fluff reading, after reading more intense stuff. I suppose I can't expect much under those circumstances. The writing was so-so. The main character was inconsistent and not necessarily like-able. The plot did keep me pondering a bit, and so I kept reading. I'm surprised by all the high ratings here on goodreads. Although, it looks like it's a series, so it must have something going for it.
June 30, 2018
Gin Bombay, single mom and assassin, meets a gorgeous bodyguard.
Good thing: This was a super quick, occasionally mildly funny book.
Bad thing: The majority of the time, it was over the top ridiculous which is definitely not my thing. If you like books that are (supposedly) laugh out loud funny, give this one a try. How to tell? If you think the name of the main character is funny - go for it!
Even though I already have the next book in the series, the first one finishes it for me.
Good thing: This was a super quick, occasionally mildly funny book.
Bad thing: The majority of the time, it was over the top ridiculous which is definitely not my thing. If you like books that are (supposedly) laugh out loud funny, give this one a try. How to tell? If you think the name of the main character is funny - go for it!
Even though I already have the next book in the series, the first one finishes it for me.
April 30, 2024
I started this series years ago, but only read the first four. Recently discovered the whole series on audio via Hoopla. I decided it was time to finish the series and they are easy listens for when I am doing my puzzles. A lighthearted, fun novel; yes, it still has its problems, but don't take it too seriously.
February 11, 2019
A fun little romp with a funny narrator and interesting characters.
February 15, 2020
Oh talk about laugh myself silly what a fantastic read, I just love Leslie Langtry books
February 19, 2023
This book makes no sense! It has a ton of reasons on why this book is bad. People do not make any good decisions. It's insta-love. It's over the top. It's silly. Secrets are disclosed after knowing people for days. All so silly... And yet I somehow liked this book. I don't know how. I'm reading the next book in the series.
It's surprisingly clean for a book about assassins. There is no gore, no blood, and no detailed descriptions. The book is more focused on the humor angle.
It's surprisingly clean for a book about assassins. There is no gore, no blood, and no detailed descriptions. The book is more focused on the humor angle.
May 15, 2025
Very funny!
August 12, 2011
The next time you think your family is awful, spend a day with Ginny Bombay and her family. Hopefully, you will get out alive. Being a member of this family brings a whole new meaning to family reunions. This family really takes care of their own. Miss a meeting or family reunion and they will take care of you…permanently. Growing up in this family, Ginny learns very early what is expected of her. At age 5, she is initiated into the family business to begin the training program. At age 15, our young assassin is assigned her first hit.
The danger is high but the perks are lucrative. No retirement plan or health benefits with this job, though. For Ginny, it’s a way of life and unfortunately, her 5 year old daughter is expected to join the ranks, much to Ginny’s dismay. When the family gathers on their remote tropical island for the annual family reunion (more like a staff meeting to me), Ginny is summoned by the Council, which consists of Ginny’s grandmother and the other most senior members of the Bombay family. Ginny is told there is a traitor in the family who is planning on bringing the family down and exposing them to the authorities. Ginny is assigned the task of finding out who the traitor is and taking them out.
This assignment doesn’t give Ginny a lot of time or opportunity to explore the attraction she feels towards hunky Australian bodyguard Diego. Of course, he doesn’t know about her true profession or the fact that the man he is paid to protect is on Ginny’s hit list. This will make for a very awkward dating moment. I keep picturing a romantic dinner setting with both of them armed to the teeth and the waiter reciting the wine list…
Though this story didn’t knock my socks off, I did enjoy the snarky humor and the family dynamic Ginny is a part of. The story introduces a lot of interesting characters, though not all of them were likeable. This is the first book in the series and I’m intrigued just enough to be curious about what happens to Ginny and her family next. If you like cozy mysteries that have wacky characters and don’t mind far-fetched storylines and enjoy humor, give this book a try.
The danger is high but the perks are lucrative. No retirement plan or health benefits with this job, though. For Ginny, it’s a way of life and unfortunately, her 5 year old daughter is expected to join the ranks, much to Ginny’s dismay. When the family gathers on their remote tropical island for the annual family reunion (more like a staff meeting to me), Ginny is summoned by the Council, which consists of Ginny’s grandmother and the other most senior members of the Bombay family. Ginny is told there is a traitor in the family who is planning on bringing the family down and exposing them to the authorities. Ginny is assigned the task of finding out who the traitor is and taking them out.
This assignment doesn’t give Ginny a lot of time or opportunity to explore the attraction she feels towards hunky Australian bodyguard Diego. Of course, he doesn’t know about her true profession or the fact that the man he is paid to protect is on Ginny’s hit list. This will make for a very awkward dating moment. I keep picturing a romantic dinner setting with both of them armed to the teeth and the waiter reciting the wine list…
Though this story didn’t knock my socks off, I did enjoy the snarky humor and the family dynamic Ginny is a part of. The story introduces a lot of interesting characters, though not all of them were likeable. This is the first book in the series and I’m intrigued just enough to be curious about what happens to Ginny and her family next. If you like cozy mysteries that have wacky characters and don’t mind far-fetched storylines and enjoy humor, give this book a try.
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