Dispatches from the Couch: A Neuroscientist and Her Therapist Conspire to Reboot Her Brain

by Stacey Hettes

Stacey is living exactly the right life before she hits the psychological equivalent of a patch of black ice.
As Professor Hettes, her classes focus as much on neuroscience’s beauty and wonder as its facts and theories. Fellow faculty members see her as a fair but outspoken leader on a campus steeped in the blended patriarchies of academia and southern gentility.
At an emotionally charged forum on sexual violence, she takes a stand against a colleague’s reckless verbal assault, outing herself as a sexual abuse survivor in the process. Professor Hettes must continue her work even as Stacey finds herself resubmerged in the sights, sounds, and smells of her memories with Mr. Jay, a Pentecostal church deacon.
With exceptional candor, Dispatches from the Couch invites readers to take a seat beside her in the office of her new therapist, Piper. This debut memoir reveals the laborious, complex, but promising work of revisiting the past in order to extract its remnants of shame and loneliness from the present.

Genres: Psychology

364 pages, Paperback

Published May 13, 2025

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful tribute to the power of resilience and the journey toward loving ourselves. Stacey puts words to feelings all women have felt. It’s powerful. It’s a reckoning. It’s also heavy. I couldn’t read more than 50 pages at a time. I reacted emotionally every time. Know this before you begin. But continue to read. It’s worth it to know both others and ourselves on this journey.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review: Dispatches from the Couch: A Neuroscientist and Her Therapist Conspire to Reboot Her Brain by Stacey Hettes

Stacey Hettes’ Dispatches from the Couch is a groundbreaking hybrid memoir that merges clinical neuroscience with raw personal narrative, chronicling her dual journey as both a professor of biology and a therapy patient confronting a psychological crisis. The book’s brilliance lies in its unique structure—alternating between Hettes’ firsthand account of mental health collapse and her analytical lens as a scientist dissecting her own brain’s “reboot.” This duality creates a rare dialogue between subjective vulnerability and objective inquiry, offering readers an intimate yet rigorously intellectual exploration of healing.

Hettes’ prose is remarkably candid, particularly in depicting her “psychological black ice” moment—a sudden unraveling of her carefully constructed academic persona. Her descriptions of therapy sessions transcend clichés, revealing therapy as a collaborative “conspiracy” (as the subtitle suggests) where patient and clinician deconstruct neural pathways alongside emotional wounds. The neuroscientific interludes—exploring concepts like neuroplasticity and trauma’s imprint on the amygdala—are accessible yet precise, avoiding oversimplification. However, some readers may find these sections disrupt the memoir’s emotional flow, though their inclusion is thematically vital.

Thematically, the book excels in challenging academia’s culture of performative resilience. Hettes’ admission that her “right life” masked profound disconnection critiques systemic pressures on women in STEM. Her willingness to expose professional insecurities (“Did my students see me crack?”) adds layers to the narrative. Less compelling are occasional digressions into tangential anecdotes (e.g., a reception at Buckingham Palace), which, while humanizing, dilute the central narrative’s urgency.

Rating: 4.4/5

Section Scoring Breakdown:
-Conceptual Innovation: 5/5 – A masterful blend of memoir and neuroscience.
-Emotional Impact: 4.5/5 – Unflinchingly honest, though intermittently uneven.
-Scientific Rigor: 4/5 – Insightful but occasionally disrupts pacing.
-Narrative Cohesion: 4/5 – Powerful core narrative with minor detours.
-Cultural Relevance: 4.5/5 – Vital critique of mental health in academia.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Stacey Hettes, for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who has endured trauma with a capital-T, you will find little bits of yourself throughout this book. Stacey is able put words to feelings that we know all too well, but can’t fully explain to others. It’s a brutal journey that is beautifully written, and leaves you rooting for Stacey, as well as yourself.

[Heidi Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is amazing book that I firs got to preview a while ago and now have seen the finished copy. Being a therapist, I love how Piper is honestly portrayed with constant insight and wisdom. My first thought when I read this book is that everyone who has had to deal with childhood sexual abuse needs to have all the people in their life read this. It is very hard to explain to a Loved One or partner what one goes through. I know my husband struggled with understanding what i had been through and now I will have him read this book. Also it is good to know that there is help and a strong community out there who also struggle. It is a must read for all!

[Clayton Whisnant · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I read a book that I couldn't put down. This book is intense, heartbreaking, inspiring, thoughtful, vivid, challenging, and sincere. Even for those of us who have never experienced a "capital T trauma" as she puts it, there is so much to be learned from this book, on many different levels.

[Tracy Revels · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful, amazing book. I'm in awe of both the incredible courage of the writer and the beauty of her language. It's a powerful and important work. It helped me understand why therapy can be so valuable, and how much difference a kind, caring therapist can make in a life.

Yes, I got misty-eyed in places. I was rooting so hard for the author, and for the therapist.

This can be a difficult subject (because of what happened to the author in her childhood) but ultimately it is a book that offers optimism, hope, and empowerment, especially for anyone who has known deep personal trauma.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful, honest, raw, impactful and inspiring. The beauty of the resilience of women and survivors. Thank you Dr. Hettes.

[Stephanie Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rarely think of a memoir as a page turner but I found myself up past my bedtime rooting for Stacey.
I know the feeling of drowning that is depression. I also know the subsequent joy that comes with the first breath of fresh air as depression starts to break. Anyone who has lived through this cannot help but live with a fear that the depression will return.
I can relate to the utter despair that Stacey experienced when her depression reemerged. One event triggered a cascade of memories that she thought were buried. Stacey was forced to fight dragons that she thought she had slain long ago.
Stacey‘s bravery in waging this war is inspiring. She paints a beautiful picture of the power of working with a capable and caring therapist.
For anyone who has experienced childhood trauma, battled with mental health or struggled with their sense of self-worth, this is a must read. You will finish this book, feeling hopeful and capable of defeating the tallest of dragons.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

DISPATCHES FROM THE COUCH
BY: DR. STACEY HETTES

This was such an incredible, way above average, well written debut I can't recommend it highly enough. I just happened to discover it by chance, and it exceeded my highest expectations in how authentic and moving it is. I have never read anything like this before where the Author, has such a warm heart and shared how deeply affected and devastating early childhood sexual abuse can cause so much harm and self loathing. As I write this my heart still hurts for how much mental anguish she and her family suffered as a result from a predator who was a Deacon, and trusted family friend at the time this occurred. The lasting impact that survivors of this traumatic experience is upsetting to me as I write this now because I feel that this author's courageous memoir is so powerful and I'm remembering how hard she fought to overcome the self hatred and shame that wasn't ever her fault. She does mention that whenever we write down our feelings we process our emotions and I'm noticing how sad I feel since I am having a harder time writing about her struggles than actually reading this memoir. I'm not a victim, or survivor of sexual abuse, but I have suffered childhood trauma with a capital T, and I have so much empathy, and admiration for Dr. Stacey Hettes's brutally honest depiction of how when we think that we've overcome our battles that they can resurface when we least expect it. The way our childhood brains are wired even though we have been traumatized in vastly different circumstances I totally connected to how she felt like it was her fault because I share that same self blame even when we intellectually know it's not our fault in order to heal we have to emotionally overcome that obstacle which is easier said than done. It is extremely difficult the amount of effort it takes but we have to be committed to give it all we have and it takes longer than most people realize, but as she has generously shared in her debut that with enough determination towards never giving up there is hope.

Honestly, I have to say that I didn't expect to be so affected that I would be currently reliving her story as I am finding this review to be harder for me to deal with her pain now than while I read it. She's so lovable with how sensitive she is towards others that she is thoughtful enough to place her Author's Note at the beginning to prepare the reader that this content can trigger others and also lets the reader know that the disturbing details that she includes will be written using italicization. This was a memoir that I was on the fence about reading even though I had changed my major of Pre-med as an undergraduate I remember the Neuroscience of how the brain is wired both anatomically and how it functions as well as I have an extensive background which I excelled in psychology courses, which was what drew me to read this in the first place. The fact that the subtitle states: A Neuroscientist and Her Therapist Conspire to Reboot Her Brain, had me hesitate for a long time from picking this up since I thought it would be dry and I wanted to read a story about the psychological therapeutic process from a more human angle. In other words, I expected the psychological modality to be more about Neuroscience which I wasn't sure I was in the mood for at this time. I couldn't have been more wrong about my preconception because it's subtitle is misleading, and I was not prepared to be rewarded with so much humanity since it was written in the format of the kind of approach once you get three chapters in with the rest of this memoir written to be completely dialogue laden chapters of sessions between the patient who is Dr. Stacey Hettes, Neuroscientist with her Therapist, Piper. Both women are lovable, and ultra sensitive towards each other. Each committed towards staying the course of the goal of Stacey's overwhelming journey that realistically has her reliving her trauma that was almost too vivid with her painful exploration of trying overcome her self hatred, and shame. It's so profound and powerfully written that it impacted me more while reflecting on it, than it did while reading it which amazes me. It's not transcripts of the sessions with Piper, but it certainly feels so raw and honest that I felt it's rare to be so convincing of how trauma affects the mind and body. It was exactly the type of memoir that I was hoping to read. It reminds me of the cliche that had me saying to myself to be careful what you wish for. It's so relatable that it is the closest you'll ever come to witnessing the pain and isolation that childhood trauma plays out between a therapist and a patient recreating the real therapeutic relationship giving you insight into how each interact during a session. Piper is the most capable, understanding Therapist, who is perfectly suited to Stacey's sensitivities regarding being equipped to help lovable Stacey's arduous journey of reliving and trying to make sense of trying to understand how she is right back to at beginning, trying to find answers by using her intellect which shows how sometimes we need to change the questions.

A BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN RESOURCE AND A VALUABLE MEMOIR THAT WILL INSPIRE & INFORM ALL TRAUMA SURVIVORS!

Publication Date: May 13, 2025

Thank you to Net Galley, Dr. Stacey Hettes and Mindbuck Media/Apprentice House for generously providing me with my Spectacular ARC, in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own, as always

#DispatchesFromtheCouch #DrStaceyHettes #MindbuckMedia #ApprenticeHouse #NetGalley

[Indydriven]

When the author stands up against a colleague’s verbal assault, she ends up revealing that she was a sexual abuse survivor. With her therapist, Piper, she works through revisiting her trauma and memories of her abuse. The author is a strong, resilient woman and that personality resonated throughout the book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Mindbuck Media for a review copy of this book.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stacey Hettes’ Dispatches from the Couch is a raw and fiercely intelligent memoir about the enduring scars of childhood sexual abuse and the intricate, often agonizing process of healing. Told from the perspective of a neuroscientist navigating the wreckage of trauma with the guidance of her therapist Piper, the book interweaves personal narrative with scientific insight, exploring how trauma rewires the brain, hijacks memory, and resurfaces across time and context. Structured in therapy sessions and personal reflections, it chronicles Hettes’ journey from silence to voice, from academic achievement to emotional reckoning.

What grabbed me first was the voice. It’s wry, self-aware, cutting through pretense like a scalpel. Hettes doesn't just tell us she’s hurting. She shows us vividly and unflinchingly. The scene where she recounts the morning after "Breakdown Saturday" and calls her mother sobbing was brutal in its honesty. I loved how she didn’t let herself off the hook, even as she tore into systems and people who failed her. Her relationship with her inner child—at times full of rage, shame, and fierce resistance—is explored with aching detail. In Session 1, she admits, “I full-on loathe her,” when asked to revisit the child self who was abused. That line stuck with me. It’s not the sanitized survivor story; it’s messier, truer.

I also appreciated how Hettes uses her neuroscientific background not as a crutch but as a lens. She doesn’t over-intellectualize the trauma—she complements it. When she explains in the prologue how trauma disrupts memory circuits, or how the limbic system reacts before the thinking brain does, it’s not for show. It’s not jargon. It’s deeply personal, almost like she’s trying to convince herself as much as she is educating us. That balance between head and heart made this memoir something special. Her account of how trauma impacted her at work—especially in Chapter 3, when a university administrator tried to use her “authentic voice” to cover institutional cowardice—was rage-inducing, and familiar. It’s not just about what happened to her as a child. It’s about what keeps happening in a world that still doesn’t know how to hear survivors.

But it wasn’t all darkness. There were so many flickers of light. Piper, her therapist, is rendered with such care and nuance. She feels real—not a savior, but a steady presence who knows when to speak and when to let silence hold space. And then there’s the humor. Hettes’ dry wit shows up even in the bleakest moments. Her description of therapy offices smelling like “mint, ink, and warm paper” actually made me laugh. She’s not just surviving. She’s still herself—sharp, funny, stubborn, and deeply human.

Dispatches from the Couch left me shaken, moved, and strangely hopeful. It doesn’t promise neat closure—just better, not all better. And that felt honest. This is a book for survivors, certainly, but also for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re supposed to be fine when they’re falling apart inside. It’s for therapists who want to understand their clients better. It’s for educators, feminists, and truth-seekers.

[Hayley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't to sure what to think of this book when I first started mostly because I wasn't completely sure how it was going to read. Was it going to be super jumpy and choppy? Was it going to be stale and clinical in its wording or was it going to be super compelling and thought-provoking? This really has the potential to go either way and I'm very glad to say that in my books it was definitely the later. This was unlike any other memoir I've ever read before as our main character confronts her past abuse and her childhood mishaps through her therapeutic journey. The more that she starts to open up in therapy and the more progress that she makes the more that we learn as a reader. It was very different to see a memoir written that way instead of the first hand accounts it's almost like we are listening to her tell her therapist as a fly on the way and putting it all together. The writing of this book was amazing and not over the top and the flow, even though the were multiple things going on at all times, it was very easy to follow as a reader. While this wasn't at all what I was expecting from the cover of this book it was still very interesting book and I'm so glad I got the chance to check it out. It was almost like we were the therapist in this story swing the clients reveal. Excellent writing and the flow was perfect nothing felt rushed or lagged at all. Very good book and while very different than I'm used to reading I still enjoyed this one. What I didn't like about this book was I found it a bit clinical at times in the beginning instead of reading like a novel it read like a textbook. However once I got over that hurdle it really started to come together. Even though this wasnt a long book it took me a while to get through and some parts were super dry. Not at all what I was expecting from this kind of memoir. While there were parts I didn't like overall I think that it was a pretty good read just very different that I was expecting.

[Cate Blouke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book – which honestly surprised me somewhat given that it's a memoir about sexual abuse. But the raw, courageous, and deeply open/vulnerable retelling of the author's experiences and internal dialogue had me hooked.

While my own adverse childhood experiences differed significantly in content, I could deeply relate to the viciousness of the resulting inner critical voice and struggles with self-loathing. While I can only speak from my own experience, this feels like a potentially deeply cathartic read for anyone who has been on or is currently in a therapeutic process of recovering from childhood trauma. Seeing someone else's internal dialogue say similarly cruel and unfounded things helps me to recognize those stories for the lies they are in my head, too.

Hettes' prose is a gorgeous blend of science, memory, and metaphor, and I deeply appreciated the unique narrative approach of walking through the healing journey (mostly) one session at a time. It so vividly captures the slow, painful, unfolding process of healing in therapy – filled with small, beautiful moments of progress in the midst of what can feel like an interminable slog (in life, not in the book. The book navigates this beautifully and never feels like a slog!).

Without saying anything that might be a spoiler, I'll just note that I appreciated the warmth and hope of the ending.

A couple of things to note for anyone considering reading:
- the title (for me) is/was a bit misleading in that there wasn't a whole lot of neuroscience, per se. It shows up here and there, but there isn't, say, an in depth discussion of how trauma impacts the brain.
- I don't know if this will end up an audiobook, but I would highly recommend reading it in hard/digital copy. Hettes' uses italics to indicate potentially difficult sections of content, which I really appreciated.

[Jo-Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a clinical psychologist, I was initially hesitant to pick this up—I spend so much time listening to people's pain and stories already. But boy, am I glad I did. There were nights when I had to pry my eyes open just so I could read a few more pages. You wouldn’t expect a memoir about sexual abuse to be unputdownable, but Hettes is a gifted storyteller who keeps you hooked from start to finish.

I’ve never read a book—fiction or nonfiction—that so powerfully captures a child’s mind. Hettes’ extraordinary memory and evocative writing reveal how children make sense of the world, sometimes distorting reality to protect themselves—preferring to believe they are bad or unworthy rather than face the unbearable truth that they cannot rely on those they depend on most or are disappointed in those who promise to never let anything bad happen. She masterfully articulates the anger and helplessness that comes with powerlessness.

Writing about therapy is no easy feat—so much of the process is slow, painful, and repetitive—but Hettes skillfully takes us through her healing journey, showing both progress and setbacks without ever making it feel like a slog.

If you want an inside look at how therapy works, the immense courage it takes to heal, and why sexual abuse wreaks havoc on survivors, read this book!

[Kaye Savage · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was struck time and again during my read at the author's honesty and generosity in sharing her very difficult history, and her ferocity and commitment to herself and the far too numerous other children who have battled the same kinds of predators. It gave me many new insights into the courage needed to pursue therapy, when the journey is far from linear. And hope that therapy can be truly transformative with a devoted and skilled therapist working with a committed client experiencing both messiness and breakthroughs. I really appreciated seeing the role that writing played during the therapeutic process and was touched by the writing itself -- the complexity of thought, skill of expression, and finding of righteous anger was beautiful and meaningful. As a fellow teacher, I also appreciate the way that the author talks about teaching and her students, with such respect and the desire to infuse curiosity and appreciation for physiology and nature, interwoven with the story of her own path. There is a lot of pain in this book, but also a tremendous amount of inspiration.

[Heike Yates · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book stopped me in my tracks.

Dispatches from the Couch isn’t just a memoir—it’s a reckoning. Dr. Stacey Hettes brings a neuroscientist's precision and a survivor's raw honesty to a story that’s as intelligent as it is gut-wrenching. She doesn’t give you tidy answers but the truth.

As a coach who works with midlife women, I see how often trauma resurfaces after decades of silence. This book names that experience with clarity, compassion, and the kind of insight that only someone who's lived it can offer. Her journey through therapy, shame, burnout, and ultimately self-trust is something many of us will recognize, even if our stories look different on the surface.

Dr. Hettes reminds us that healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t easy, but it is possible. And that sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is speak the truth we were taught to bury.

Highly recommended for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to hold it all together, and is finally ready to let themselves be seen.

[Diane Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

How wonderful it is - the conversational manner in which Hettes describes both herself and her world, past and present. It was a hard-to-put-down type of read, reminiscent of John Green and Toni Morrison in voice. She is brave, open, compassionate, and vulnerable in her retelling of her past and hopes for the future. As a young woman, the novel left me feeling more human than ever before, and grateful for our ability to heal together.

Over and over, she stroke chords of truth within me using her words and stories. It's an honest portrait of a real-life person with a huge heart, and even bigger spirit of resilience. It's a courageous outline too, of the journey one takes from enduring to flourishing.
It's an honor to share 300 some pages with Hettes, and I hope to see her name on many more covers in the future.

[T.L. Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a trauma-informed writer and healthcare professional, I’ve read my share of memoirs that attempt to navigate the intersection of trauma, healing, and identity. Few do it with the clarity, courage, and voice-driven brilliance of Dispatches from the Couch.

Stacey Hettes delivers more than a personal account; she offers a dissection of memory, survival, and self-reclamation through the lens of both scientist and survivor. Her prose is sharp and deeply embodied. The tension between intellect and emotion is palpable in every scene, and her vulnerability never asks for pity… it demands witness.

This is a memoir that doesn’t just tell you what happened. It shows you the aftermath. The echoes. The recalibration of trust, thought by thought.

Unflinching, evocative, and unforgettable.

[Cheryl Story · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every person with young children need to read this heart wrenching book. Stacey shares her physical and emotional trauma that exposes the terrible power disparity a trusted adult held over an innocent child and the life-long battle scars it branded on her psyche. The story left me with such empathy for Stacey and how it caused her to feel she was responsible for hurting her family and anger at the monster who preyed upon her. I admire Stacey's brutal honesty and admirable intelligence for putting this story to paper. This life experience is one that will tear your heart out, open your eyes, but give you solace in her long journey and recovery.

[Alexandria Faulkenbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

A candid and powerful memoir.

I loved the switch back and forth between Stacey's internal dialogue, her letters to Piper, and her recounting of her sessions and events in her past. That kind of braided structure really worked for this book as we get a look into so many different facets of the author.

This book will bring you through all the emotions on the spectrum while ultimately leaving you with hope.

Go add it to your 'want to read' already!

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extraordinary and very powerful book. I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who wants to understand more about childhood trauma or sexual violence. It is very compelling and very moving and somehow not depressing -- perhaps b/c both Stacey and Piper are such vivid, resourceful women.

[Lottie C · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25⭐️

[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]

an informative memoir about a psychologists experience with various patients. good discussion of difficult topics such as mental health & sexual violence

[Cecile Nowatka · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a terrific book. Stacey is a brave person and a terrific writer. As a therapist who has worked with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I found the book powerful and insightful. It is at the same time heartbreaking and hopeful.

[Ronit Plank · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brave and vulnerable, reflective and raw, this Dispatches From the Couch is not only a page turner, but also a memoir which has the potential to support other CSA survivors in their search for clarity and understanding about their worthiness and courage.

[Carolyn Newton · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A frank, wise, and courageous account of the battle to overcome trauma. Hettes offers readers a gift with her unflinching account of reclaiming her life while reckoning with evil and ignorance.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an exceptional window into trauma and neuroscience through a deeply personal lens. This book will help so many. It’s helping me.