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An Etiquette Guide to the End Times

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Good manners never go out of style…do they?

There aren’t any zombies (yet), but the world is still at the brink of destruction: It’s 2028 and global warming has led to rising oceans, crazy weather, and resource scarcity. On top of that, someone just turned the Internet off. Seeing as how it’s humanity’s last chance to turn things around manners are, understandably, a bit frayed.

Bookish etiquette buff Olive O’Malley is busy microfarming her urban property and minding her own business (and her chickens) when the government comes calling. Their goal is to push the populace towards carbon-neutrality while keeping kvetching to a minimum, and they come with a proposal: transition Olive’s popular etiquette column to a radio show for the masses, and they’ll help Olive find her grandfather, who’s gone missing.

Olive doesn’t trust the hipster government officials who try to bribe her with delicious-but-probably-a-little-evil chocolate pastries, and declines their offer. (Politely, of course.) But they won't take no for an answer, and soon Olive is knee-deep in turmoil, eco-terrorism, and missing chickens. Now she has to untangle herself from their demands and figure out how to make sure her family (and her poultry) are safe before it’s too late.

An Etiquette Guide to the End times is a 27,500 word novella.

ebook

First published June 1, 2014

6 people are currently reading
938 people want to read

About the author

Maia Sepp

6 books61 followers
Maia Sepp is an author of humorous contemporary and dystopian fiction. She left the tech sector to write about sock thievery, migraines, and the future.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
Profile Image for Jenny (Reading Envy).
3,876 reviews3,679 followers
July 28, 2014
I received a copy of this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a fun, quick read about an advice columnist in dystopian America. The government steals back her stolen chickens during a "negotiation" to get her to work as a propaganda artist for zombie-free America. I liked the vivid world-building in this novella, just wanted more of the story! I had not heard of this author before, but I'll be back.

The timing of this story was terrific because I was on my first day of three weeks of zero internet access, and in the story, the Internet gets turned off! Dystopia is now.

The writing makes it a fun read, and I could picture it as a tv show because it is snappy. Here are a few examples:

"Maybe she's doing something like good cop, bad cop?"
"You need two cops for that."
"Looks like she's an overachiever."

"I open the package and look inside: a gluey glop of hot-as-hell contents, chunks of almost identifiable foods swimming in the sludge. It's the perfect meal to eat while watching a terrorist act unfold."
Profile Image for Esther.
364 reviews10 followers
April 8, 2016
I really liked this book, "a zombie-free dystopian novella" set in 2030 Canada when global warming has well and truly taken hold. It was fascinating, moving, and a little scary to read one person's interpretation of what life might be like in such a future, as a possible answer to the author's question (written in the acknowledgements) of "what if the Apocalypse sneaks up on us?... How will people behave when the lifestyle we've all worked so hard for starts to disappear?" Or, as the main character puts it, "It would definitely be simpler if the end times had had a kickoff party or some sort of ceremony marking them, instead of this maybe-time, when we're all stuck between the past and the future."

Another favourite quote came when the main character is visiting the luxurious government offices with outrageous eco-unfriendly indulgences. She asks herself, "Who am I if I like it here?"

I'll definitely check out more from this author!
Profile Image for Shayna Krishnasamy.
Author 25 books29 followers
June 3, 2014
Although chickens are mentioned several times in the synopsis, this novella is less about poultry and more about an alarming future that seems completely (and disconcertingly) possible. Olive is an appealing and resourceful heroine stuck in an internet-less Toronto where civilization is on the verge of collapse (or has it collapsed already?), having pot-growing neighbours is like striking gold, and everyone is still sort of getting along... for now. The descriptions of the city and the way people are living their lives in this new world are really fascinating and well done. And, as always, there's a healthy dose of humour thrown in. Looking forward to finding out what happens next!
Profile Image for Justin Renquist.
81 reviews
September 5, 2014
More.wonderful material from Mais Sepp

a magic story and wonderful writing, highly recommended. not to be missed. hurry and read it now! Look forward to more fantastic stories from this author...
Profile Image for beentsy.
434 reviews9 followers
March 24, 2015
I really enjoyed this novella. That feeling of how people will be/change/bend in difficult, and deteriorating, situations. A bit of a recent Margaret Atwood feel about it that I liked a lot.

And hey, just because the world is crashing down, it doesn't mean we have to be rude.
Profile Image for Claire.
640 reviews39 followers
November 22, 2018
What if the apocalypse doesn't hit at once? What if it's a slow burn and one day you wake up and realise you're in the End Times?

Olive writes an online etiquette column, and one day, silently the internet is switched off. These are End Times indeed

Cute & funny, a quick read. Has chickens.
Profile Image for Sandra "Jeanz".
1,252 reviews178 followers
June 21, 2014
INITIAL THOUGHTS
Not sure what to expect is it going to be a list of do & don't etiquette related lists or is it a dystopian/post apocalyptic short story/novella? From the blurb it seem's like it will be the latter.

MY REVIEW
This novella is set in a post apocalyptic future. The year is 2028 and the place is Toronto. Someone turned off the internet, and this novella shows how the people of 2028 have to cope with that. Only the "Core" have electric cars. the "Core" is the "government/ rulers".
People have had to go back to a more basic way of living. Energy saving by having solar panels, growing their own vegetables in their gardens. A bartering system is in place as money has lost it's value. People keep chickens in their back yards but to have them they have to have permits. Anyone found to have more than they had applied for and been grant permission for could and was confiscated.
The main character is Olive O'Malley, at the beginning of the novella she is up on her roof de-tangling and re-connecting wires to her solar panels that the racoons have chewed through! Olive hears a car pull onto her road which is highly unusual. After taking a curious gaze at the car she decides it must be people from the "Core" and that they have dropped by to confiscate her two extra illegal chickens.
When the people get out of the car, there are three of them. Two Me and a woman. It's the woman that speaks to Olive and tries to make an offer Olive cannot refuse. The "Core" want Olive to use her popular agony aunt style column to say good things about the "core". Olive will continue as she has been writing, they will check and perhaps edit/adjust what she has wrote prior to publishing. Olive's first instinct is a resounding NO! but then she gets to thinking that perhaps the Core could help her find her Grandpa Fred. Fred had gone visiting the resting place of a family member prior to storms etc and now Olive hadn't heard from him for . . for too long. It's not like Olive can pick up a mobile phone as all or most of the networks are down. What should she do?
Olive's neighbour discusses what she should do and offers to ask some slightly shady sea men she knows to help find Fred.
Fred and Olive have their ups and downs but Olive is really worried about Fred. So who should Olive trust to help find Fred . . . . The "Core" who could easily find him and bring him back home, they'd also lavish them with precious things such as actual hardback books, not to mention having plenty of food. Or should she trust the shady sea men?
I could waffle on and on about this novella as I really enjoyed it. You feel Olive's confusion as to who to trust and what to do. Olive seems stuck between a rock and a hard place. The Core would censor her writing to the point she probably wouldn't recognise her own work. She wouldn't have the freedom to say as she wanted to.
Then on the other hand these shady Seamen are going to want something in return and that's if they agreed to help her. First these men wanted a good home cooked meal. Olive needed to impress them with this meal as she desperately needed their help. But food's scarce so how and where can she get the food needed for such an important meal? Unsurprisingly Olive is well thought of by her neighbours and when they hear what she need the food for they willingly trade with her.
So did I enjoy the novella? Yes, I was totally hooked and pulled into the book. I didn't want to put it down! Would I recommend the novella? Yes it is a really good post apocalyptic novella. In fact if Maia Sepp did any more books set in this post apocalyptic era that we glimpse in An Ettiquette Guide To The End Times, I would like to read them! Will I read more books by Maia Sepp? I'll keep my eyes out for future post apocalyptic titles by this author for sure, as well as checking out her other book titles.
Profile Image for Heather.
571 reviews148 followers
June 11, 2014
I was kindly provided with a copy of this book by Net Galley

So today's taste of dystopia comes in the form of the wonderfully titled An Etiquette Guide to the End Times from Maia Sepp, it's a novella set in our near future, to be honest I wasn't sure which category to slot this one in to, yes its set in a futuristic Canada where things have changed considerably but people still have the Internet and chickens!! I have decided on Sci Fi for the minute (your views on this greatly received!!).

Olive is an etiquette agony aunt, answering peoples urgent questions such as "should one keep an emergency ham?" and what to do if you think your neighbour is milking your goat, yes the problems in Olive's world are very different to what we might expect.

Set in the future where some calamitous events have happened notably a huge hunk of the Greenland Ice Shelf shearing off, water levels rising and the Maldives disappearing in to the watery depths, people have had to change their ways - solar panel arrays are the norm as are keeping chickens and growing your own fruit and veg (and cannabis!)

People seem to be living quite harmoniously with the exception of Olive's grandfather Fred who has gone to visit his brother's grave and has fallen out with Olive in the process, an another exception to the harmony are the terrorists - The Earth Shepherd's who seem to be hell bent on sabotaging everything non eco friendly.

Olive is targeted by the core (who are the government) to be the "face" of their radio show (yes I know face is the wrong word!!!) to keep people happy with her amazing etiquette skills but Olive wants none of it, even when they start to become nasty and things she needs such as those extra illegal chickens and oh the Internet disappear,.

She is more concerned in getting her grandfather back, and she needs help from her friend Camilla and some friendly sailors but not before the sailors demand she cook them up the best meal ever, which she does complete with name cards and the emptying of her bank account and bartering of wine!

This book was so totally different to anything end of world themed I have read of late, no zombies or nukes just good old fashioned living with a little bit of government officials being corrupt as usual.

It was a really refreshing read, it was funny, observant and sweet with some girly feistiness but my one complaint, it is only a novella and I could quite happily have read another couple hundred pages set in in Olive's world!

Awarded 4 out of 5
Profile Image for Luke Joseph.
55 reviews4 followers
July 20, 2014
It's a short novella and ebook versions are like $.99. This is a great read for lazy Saturday's like today.

A cute (if terrifying) story with a snappy OITNB-ish narration. The world is ravaged by climate change. Olive is an etiquette advice columnist in Toronto dodging a Machiavellian city government who wants to turn her into a propaganda vehicle, while rescuing her befuddled grandfather, Fred, from Halifax.

There is something truly horrifying about the apocalyptic picture Sepp paints. Canada (And presumably the US) turned into something like the Soviet Union by the ravages of global warming is way too realistic for comfort. When she's "bribed" with chocolate-croissants, Sepp skillfully makes us feel how deprived, empty, and on edge this world is. As she points out a couple time, there are no zombies just our society slowly circling the drain of our unsustainable lifestyle. We're all prompted to ask which would be worse!

Like all good apocalypse stories the villains to be overcome are ourselves and our urge to stop treating each other like people in the harshest of circumstances. "Etiquette is the confluence of ethics and manners." Sepp makes a sweeping and moving case for while we'll need generous helpings of both in the years to come.

My only wishlist for the book would have been to get some more examples of Olive's writing in her column. Opening each chapter with a letter to Olive and her response, would have been a fairly easy way to round the book out, show us more of Olive's personality & what this topic means to her, and explore more fully the roles ethics and manners will play in the end times.
Profile Image for Tara.
Author 4 books262 followers
July 11, 2014
An Etiquette Guide To The End Times is set in 2028 Toronto, after global warming has brought life as it was formerly known to a slow halt. Olive O’Malley is a 33-year-old etiquette guide columnist doing her best to survive and guide others in the ways of etiquette as society adapts to a new way of life.

I found this novella a really interesting take on the end-times scenario. Maia Sepp wanted to write about what would happen if the apocalypse was slower and sneakier than a sudden zombie outbreak. She did a great job setting up a world in which global warming has led to massive changes in the way of life we currently take for granted. This is one of those books that, while written with humor, can also be taken as a serious warning. Some of the changes the government has instituted in Olive's world – like surveillance drones that fly overhead every day to make sure you don't have, say, more chickens than you have permits for – seem scarily possible, even predictive.

I appreciated the seeming incongruity between Sepp's tongue-in-cheek writing style and the Orwellian government of Olive's reality – Sepp took what could have been a very dark, heavy topic and made it lighthearted without trivializing it. Overall, I found this novella , which can be read in a single sitting, well-written and very much worth the read – it's both humorous and scary in a "this could actually happen" sort of way.
Profile Image for Wayne McCoy.
4,228 reviews31 followers
June 20, 2014
In 'An Etiquette Guide to the End Times' we learn that just because the world is slowly unwinding and there is disruption and chaos, this is no time to lose our civility and manners.

It's 2028 and global warming has made Toronto a very warm place. There are food and water shortages and surviving is kind of a full time gig. Olive has an etiquette blog on the internet, except now there is not internet. On top of that, "friendly" government officials come knocking and bribing her with pastries. They want her to work for them and help spread the word that everything is great, when the evidence seems to be otherwise. If that's not enough, Olive's grandfather Fred has gone missing and she's going to have to go through some food bribery of her own to get him back.

I really loved this book. This is an apocalypse with no zombies, but lots of character. Olive's dilemmas and adventures are wry and intelligent. The clever title alone got me to read this and I'm so very glad I did.

I was given a review copy of this ebook by Maia Sepp and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me the chance to review such a delightful book.
Profile Image for Collene.
127 reviews25 followers
June 13, 2014
I love books and movies that are apocalyptic. Especially the ones that don’t have Zombies(although I am a big fan of The Walking Dead). An Etiquette Guide to the End Times written by Maia Sepp has no zombies but there is a cute reference to them at the end of the book.
This is a short book but it has a well developed plot. I thought the main characters were well defined too. This is a little different from other post-apocalyptic stories I have read. Most of them were just struggling to make it. The setting for this book is Toronto and there are people living in normal houses, if you call rationing water, hiding valuables like wine and food, and controlling livestock normal. Everything is controlled by a communistic type of government. I loved the main character, Olive. She has to fight off the controlling CORE and at the same time try to get her diabetic grandpa back home. This novella can be read in one setting and I usually don’t care for short books but this one was worth reading. I’ll be checking out other books by Sepp.

I was given this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Helen.
730 reviews6 followers
January 28, 2015
This book knocked my socks off. A very well written novella about what a post-zombie-apocalypse society might be like to live in, but without the zombies. Climate change has kicked in; the economy and resource distribution and societal relationships have all gradually turned upside down. A little bit George Orwell, but mostly "this could really happen in my lifetime". My family jokes about having a plan to cope after the zombie apocalypse (I've planted fruit trees and learned to make yoghurt), but maybe I should take it a bit more seriously. Tony Abbott needs to read this book before he screws Australia's climate even more. I heard a horticulturalist on the radio today talking about all the plants he's seen die out on his property in the last 20 years. The heat causes them to stop photosynthesising and they starve to death. He said, "why do we believe scientists about everything else, but we don't believe them about climate change? It's happening right in front of us but we keep telling them they're wrong! We don't do that with any other branch of science."
Yeah.

PS the last half star was earned by the final sentence. Best last sentence ever.
Profile Image for Laura.
456 reviews53 followers
August 31, 2016
Olive has a somewhat tongue in cheek advice column on Etiquette to the End Times. The Core, government, wants to turn it into a radio program. The day after they approach her with what could be construed as bribes, they turn around and do things like take away the extra chickens she has. And they threaten to do more. More adventures follow not only to her, but also to her neighbor Camilla who is a loyal friend to her.

What I liked best about this novella is that there was a sense of humor about this dystopian story. It's by no means all fun and games, but there is still humor involved. And I thought Olive and Camilla were good characters and enjoyable to follow. I would read other books by this author. I would recommend this book for people who enjoy dystopian stories and scifi. I gave it 4 out of 5 stars.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this novella in exchange for my honest opinion.
Profile Image for Mark.
Author 116 books173 followers
August 19, 2014
I quite liked Sepp's approach to post-apocalyptic fiction. Instead of having the world suddenly change (ie, zombie-apocalypse or so other gigantic earth-shattering tragic event), so approaches the concept in a more eerily realistic manner. This COULD be how the "end times" begin, and we even see ourselves, today, slipping into the types of oddities that she pokes fun at in her novel.

Sepp approaches the book with a sensibility that one might imagine Robertson Davies would take in imagining this scenario (see Davies' HIGH SPIRITS if you want to see a wry series of cheeky tales to get what I mean). It is, at once, a post-apocalyptic story that adds to the genre quite brilliantly, and a story that holds a mirror up to ourselves. This isn't so much a novel about the coming "end times" as this is a novel about the way humanity lets things slip through our fingers and crumble right in front of us.
Profile Image for Tania2atee ..
43 reviews
June 13, 2014
I’m not a fan of post-apocalyptic movies or stories; however I was happy to read An Etiquette Guide to the End of Times Novella by Maia Sepp.

Sepp’s depiction of a future with no internet, army-type government officials and rationing of electricity is frightening and funny. The book’s main character, Olive O’Malley tries to navigate this new world, with lots of rules and laws, while finding ways stay cool in the hot weather with her friends. Unbeknownst to her, she has gained quite a reputation and a following for an etiquette advice column, until the government comes knocking on her door.

A story woven around the struggle of humankind, chocolate petit fours, chickens and Olive’s lost grandfather; Sepp creates strong characters that jump off the page. While you are never left wondering how this happened to the world, you are left rooting for Olive.

Great read!
Profile Image for Kristina.
77 reviews1 follower
July 1, 2014
[First, a disclaimer: I was provided a copy of this book via NetGalley.]

It's one of the most popular types of fiction on the market today: dystopian lit. Thankfully, what Maia Sepp has created with "An Etiquette Guide to the End Times" is a notable step away from the everyday dystopia.

Where some authors muse on the finality of society and a sudden trigger - zombies, a monster plague, a meteor - Sepp looks at the possibility of a more gradual decline, one that slowly strips us of our civility. As the main character, Olivia, notes: Just because the world is ending, doesn't mean we have to be rude.

It's this shift in perspective that makes "Etiquette" a real delight to read. Its length, quick pacing, sharp wit and well-developed characters make it an excellent option for a trip to the beach or to accompany you on a drive.
Profile Image for Meg.
Author 2 books82 followers
July 8, 2015
In Maia Sepp’s novella An Etiquette Guide to the End Times, Olive writes a blog answering etiquette questions for well-mannered survivalists in the semi-collapsed society. Just because the earth grows warmer every year, beachfront property is now underwater property, and infrastructure has all but collapsed, there’s no reason we have to be impolite about it. Olive only mentions a few recent headlines, inspiring the reader to imagine other potentially awkward social situations in a world where hoarding solar panels is an etiquette breach.

Read the rest on my blog
Profile Image for T.R..
Author 5 books29 followers
June 11, 2014
My favorite Sepp-ian work yet! An Etiquette Guide to the End Times is a terrifying and hilarious look into what may be our not-so-distant future. With a plucky main character, a lovable Diabetic-Grandfather-In-Distress, and a "Core" of corporate bad-guys, this novella is sure to appeal to anyone interested in the preservation of our home planet.
Profile Image for Frances.
185 reviews7 followers
July 16, 2014
I enjoyed that Sepp explored the (more likely) slow end of our civilization. Since I had just finished reading a darker post-apocalyptic novel, I was quite happy to read something that wasn't so... Heartbreaking. While the government's actions were (as usual) questionable, the overall tone was humorous and persevering. Really, there is no excuse to be rude, right?
221 reviews
November 20, 2014
quirky, fun and fast read. Olive is an online etiquette advice columnist helping people maintain their polite Canadian-ness in a world that is crumbling beneath their feet. How does Olive handle the new environmental reality that involves bribes, long line ups and threats? Great read for a rainy day.
Profile Image for Andy.
166 reviews7 followers
January 29, 2022
I loved this novella. It is funny. It hits a little close to home in ways that are freakin' hilarious. A future that seems absurd and yet not too far off all at the same time.

World building - excellent.
Character development - excellent.
Desire to spend more time in this world - instilled in reader from the first page.

I cannot wait for the prequel.
9 reviews21 followers
November 25, 2014
My only problem with this book is that it was, as a novella, a complete tease to what was shaping up to be a fantastic story!!! I immediately went to the kobo library and bought The Sock Wars. I'm hoping that it's just as great as this!
Profile Image for Philip.
Author 25 books51 followers
May 4, 2015
A nicely crafted story set in the not too distant future. As with any good novella it left me wanting more. The lead characters drew me in and there were enough hints of a broader story to follow. Recommended!
Profile Image for KimStitch.
171 reviews7 followers
March 28, 2015
Fabulous short story, very canadian in its sensibilities too. I was so into it I was quite annoyed when it finished. Still, after a few seconds of huffing, the format fits the story and the tone.
Profile Image for Cori Arnold.
Author 7 books41 followers
November 29, 2014
Dark humor with fascinating characters. A good setup with a quick ending.
Profile Image for Teddi.
1,230 reviews
October 26, 2016
A well written novella about a possible near future in Toronto when climate change hits hard. Makes one think!
Reread October 2016
224 reviews
July 8, 2015
Entertaining and witty, despite the "end of the world as we know it" dystopic theme.
Profile Image for Elana.
118 reviews8 followers
June 30, 2020
Very apropos. Covid is forcing everyone to live life differently, and here is a story written about life after climate change tips society over the edge. Olive recognizes that there is a "new normal" to get used to, and reflects that even in the "End Times," some people experience privilege while others struggle. All of this is told with humour and heart. I needed this story right now.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews

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