The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen

by Gary Eldon Peter

The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen follows fifteen-year-old Carl as he confronts his crush on Andy Olnan, a handsome and confident “city boy” recently transplanted to farm life from Minneapolis who may or may not share the same feelings. At the same time, Carl and his father clash over the future of their small and struggling dairy farm, a legacy of Carl’s late how do they honor her dream for the family while also ensuring financial security? Carl discovers his own resilience in the face of grief, adult-sized decisions, and unrequited love, and along the way learns to cope with both the challenges and rewards of being different.

Genres: Young Adult, Queer, Contemporary, Fiction, LGBT, Coming Of Age, Realistic Fiction

Audible Audio

Published October 24, 2023

About the author

Gary Eldon Peter is the author of Oranges, winner of the Gold Medal for LGBTQ+ fiction in the Independent Publisher Book Awards, the Midwest Book Award, and a finalist for the Minnesota Book Award and the Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction. His debut novel, The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen, won the Acheven Book Prize for Young Adult Fiction, the Minnesota Book Award, the Foreword Reviews INDIES Book of the Year Silver Award for Young Adult Fiction, the Whippoorwill Book Award for Rural Young Adult Literature, and was named one of the best book of 2022 by National Public Radio. His work has appeared in numerous literary journals and has been performed on the public radio program Selected Shorts. He earned an MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and is a faculty member at the University of Minnesota.

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carl Paulsen is a welcome entry in the world of LGBTQ+ YA. Too often, protagonists like Carl get thrust into the limelight and have to live their conflicts out loud and publicly. This is not the case here, and such underlies the strength of this novel. Carl is a richly developed character. He is situated in his gay identity, his less-than-boisterous relationships with his peers, and his role on the family dairy farm. This maturity lends itself to a sophisticated inner dialogue around the conflicts Carl does face: trying to understand and relate to the new boy, Andy Olnan; navigating tricky emotional terrain surrounding the loss of his mother; and empathizing and communicating effectively with his father who is contemplating selling the dairy farm. These are the "quiet" storms that comprise Carl's "complicated calculus" but they are loud expressions of the heart that so many teens experience in one way or another. Giving voice to these inner yearnings without making Carl the center of some wild scandal brings this small world into focus and lets the reader see and hear Carl authentically. I especially appreciated following a gay teen who struggled earnestly to decenter himself in his relationships - with his father, with Ellen, with Andy, and with others. In this way, Carl is a counternarrative to the archetypical selfish gay teen whose only asset is being different. Carl is empathetic and compassionate - as much as a 16-year old can be - and really seems to care for everyone around him. In the end, there is quite a bit of closure for Carl but his story does have enough ambiguity to leave the reader contemplative and curious for more. Readers of all ages, but especially young readers, will surely enjoy this refreshingly wholesome YA story that reminds us all that being different can be just another way of saying you're human.

[Kimberly Kenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carl Paulson touched my heart from page one. Gary Peter has created a multi-faceted protagonist who exudes sensitivity and intelligence, and whose story brings me back to the exquisitely poignant ups and downs of my own high school days. As Carl navigates through times of grief, guilt, unrequited love, and finally true friendship, we come to understand that resilience is possible and hope can be found in unexpected places. Set on a dairy farm in Minnesota, Carl finds strength and solace in his daily interactions with the family's cows, and as he struggles to be accepted for who he is, he finally discovers the same in the people who mean the most to him. A unique spin on the coming-of-age theme, The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen is a story I won't forget.

[Carol Dines · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from start to finish. The characters are so well drawn, the setting in a rural high school so true to life, and Carl Paulsen, the main protagonist, is a truly wonderful character, so likable and so vulnerable. He identifies as gay, falls in love with a friend, and must discover on his own if his feelings are shared. Having grown up on a rural farm, he's open and willing to take risks, but must contend with those around him who are less open. Highly recommend for LBGTQAPI AND straight readers alike. A lovely, uplifting read.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life in the small town of Fullerton, Minnesota is not very exciting. Every day, tenth-grade Carl Paulsen wakes up, goes to school, and does his chores on his family’s dairy farm before going to sleep and preparing to do it all again. Everything changes, though, when a new kid named Andy Olnan comes to school and turns Carl’s world upside down. Andy is from the big city, and he seems to be different from everyone else Carl has ever known. There is much to Andy that is a mystery to Carl, but his friendship and protection—especially when Carl is being bullied by homophobic classmates—draws the two ever closer together.

This succinct young adult novel reads as a stream of consciousness from Carl’s head into the mind of the reader, flowing smoothly and effortlessly from one moment to the next. Carl is in the process of figuring out exactly who he is and how he wants to present himself to the world, but doing so is made more difficult since his mother’s passing two years earlier. He spends a lot of time thinking, so readers are able to get a solid idea of what is going on inside of his head, and as dialogue and interactions are introduced, those thoughts migrate accordingly.

Anyone who has dealt with the complications of high school and the process of maturing through it will recognize many of the feelings and stereotypes mentioned in this novel. At its core, this book is an observation of the transformation Carl undergoes as he comes to accept and love who he is. Surrounding this are challenging characters and circumstances that happen in both small and large cities alike, and strong language and drug use are incorporated, as well. The writing in this book is smart and well-established, and though it is not long, the narrative is thought-provoking and will resonate with young adults no matter their own stories. This is a quality addition to library collections for young adult readers.

I received a copy of this book from the author and I chose to leave this review.

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's tough being a gay teenager at a small rural school, but then a very special someone moves into the school district -- I can't say more except to recommend this sensitively written story where the daily life of farm families is lovingly and accurately depicted, and the stresses of adolescent life are immediate and painful. Words can hurt, and so can secrets.

[Martha Anne Toll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book strikes a lovely balance between a coming of age story and a look at the truths of family and friendship. The “complications” in the title are just enough to ground the reader in the reality of teenage-hood. With a deft hand, Gary Peters has written a book that should be of great comfort and value to both gay teens and their cis classmates as well.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each chapter was well-written and had a good path that followed the overall arc of the book.

[Hudson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute but still very mid

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice to see the perspective of coming out in a rural farming community.

[Al · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Taylor Brorby’s nonfiction memoir “Boys and Oil” Brorby shares how growing up as a gay teenager in rural North Dakota was miserably lonely. As an adult he reconnected with a high school friend who, as it turned out, was also gay. When he asked why his friend didn’t come out to him back then, the friend wrote, “Because I like to be liked.” That desire of every high schooler is central to “The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen,” a YA novel by Gary Eldon Peter about another gay teenager growing up in the rural Midwest, only here on a farm in Minnesota milking cows with his recently widowed dad. The funny and sad travails of Carl’s first crush with a new boy he meets on his first day in high school will resonate with readers whether they grew up on a farm or not. Because, after all, everyone had a first crush who they hoped would become something more. Recommended.

[Jude Atwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your first crush is rarely simple, but when you’re a small-town farm boy and you haven’t yet told anyone you’re gay, there’s an extra layer of complications.

It’s refreshing to read a YA novel about a gay youth in a rural community, particularly when the characters are as fully realized as Carl Paulsen, a fifteen-year-old on a Minnesota dairy farm, and the people in his orbit. Gary Eldon Peter deftly captures the subtle fears and the hopeful epiphanies adults may remember from our own teen years.

Fans of movies like Love, Simon and anime like Given may be especially intrigued by this sensitive and endearing story.

[Ryan Levi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was pulled in by gay YA set in Minnesota, but it didn’t really do much for me. My biggest complaints were the main character’s one note obsession with and acquiescence to his new-kid-in-town crush and that the author basically gives away a major plot point early on by including it in the main character’s internal monologue. Both of these things may be true to how closeted teens exist, but it made for frustrating reading. I have no doubt there are people who will see themselves in and get a lot out of this book, and I appreciated the ending, but it just didn’t hit for me.

[Macy Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the setting, I thought it was great and I loved Carl's connection to the cows, but ultimately this didn't stand out to me and I only got through it so quickly because it's pretty short. I do think the length was a positive for this book. We need more short, tightly written YA books.

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘It’s a small town…Things always come out sooner or later’ – One splendid novel!

Minnesota author Gary Eldon Peter earned his masters degree from Sarah Lawrence College and is on the faculty of the University of Minnesota. His writings have been published in many literary journals and his collection of short stories, ORANGES, earned the Gold Medal for LGBT+ fiction in the Independent Publisher Book Awards among others. His newest publication, THE COMPLICATED CALCULUS (AND COWS) OF CARL PAULSEN, is the recipient of the Acheven Book Prize for Young Adult Fiction.

There are coming of age and entering gender identity novels – and then there is this one! Peter simply captures the key moments of each move and how they morph into a lovable character in this wondrous novel. His ability to magnetize the minds of the YA set is secure as he opens his story – ‘It’s the official start of tenth grade, and everyone is texting and talking at the same time, even though the person they’re texting is probably less than ten feet away. But if you can do both, and do them well, your coolness quotient is obviously very high. Mine, I’m afraid, is in the negative digits…I don’t have a cell phone, and will probably never get one unless I can talk my father into joining the twenty-first century or I find some way to pay for it myself….’ That ability to observe the world and its idiosyncrasies with the senses of a 15 year old is inimitable!

Peter’s novel opens eyes and minds to challenges (and passions!) as few other authors have been able. The entertaining, memorable plot is as follows: ‘Set on a small and struggling family dairy operation in southern Minnesota, the story follows fifteen-year-old Carl as he confronts his crush on Andy Olnan, a handsome and confident but secretive “city boy” recently transplanted to farm life from Minneapolis who may or may not share the same feelings. At the same time, Carl and his father clash over the future of their farm, a legacy of Carl's late mother: how do they honor her dream for the family while also ensuring financial security? Carl discovers his own resilience in the face of grief, adult-sized decisions, and unrequited love, and along the way learns to cope with both the challenges and rewards of being different.’

Pure delight! Gary Eldon Peter is a master storyteller and while entertaining with charm and wit, he introduces an unforgettable character in Carl Paulson who now occupies a favored spot in the mind long after the book is over. Very highly recommended.

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The Complicated Calculus (and Cows) of Carl Paulsen” by Gary Eldon Peter is about grief, first love, farm economics and figuring out your place in the world. It’s the story of Carl Paulsen, starting his sophomore year in a small rural town in Minnesota. He lives on a struggling dairy farm with his dad and little sister, and the story starts several years after his mom died from cancer. The dairy farm was her family’s (and her dream), and as profits disappear, the family struggles with whether to sell the farm and move elsewhere. Carl is also struggling with his sudden and all-consuming crush on new student Andy, a charmer with secrets. Carl has known he was gay since forever, but in his small town there hasn’t been much opportunity to try out what that means. But with his growing friendship with Andy (who may or may not be gay; Carl isn’t quite sure yet, but a guy can hope), Carl just might get his chance. Or maybe not. Like everything in life — including whether his family will keep their beloved cows — it’s all up in the air.

The strength of this book is the endearing characters. The author did a good job of creating layered, believable characters who often did things that weren’t in their own best interest, but they had good hearts (mostly). Carl in particular was an exceedingly decent human being; his love for his family and the farm came across clearly. There are lots of coming-of-age LGBTQ books that are filled with trauma; this isn’t one of them.

One small quibble: Though the book is set in current times, with references to smartphones and Instagram, etc., more than once I caught myself reading it as set in the 1980s or 1990s. It took me out of the story flow more than once, as I had to stop and recalibrate.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written with great sensitivity, the somewhat solitary fifteen-year-old Carl in his rural farm community tries to make sense of his life: the early death of his mother, the loneliness of his father who used to be a schoolteacher before inheriting his in-laws’ dairy farm, his very little sister, and the school bullies who taunt him for being gay. Not that he has any chance to do more than yearn for a boyfriend, as there is no one else like him around. Instead, between the complexity of his longing and losses and his father lost in grief and trying his best to care for the cows, Carl must figure the puzzling world out for himself.

A new student is transferred into his school one day: the handsome, cool, masculine Andy Olnan who becomes Carl’s friend. Under the new boy’s coolness is a secret Andy’s family hides so desperately that they have fled from the city to their farm, his mother to retreat in a fanatic religiosity. The lonely Carl of course falls in love in his own naive way, but while his way in life is to quietly accept his sexuality, Andy’s is to hide from his own. The other boy clings defiantly to his secrets, while in the face of pain, Carl becomes more calmly and completely himself.

The relationship between the grieving father and his son is particularly beautifully done as is Carl’s relationship with a girl classmate who understands him.

This lovely novel is a subtle and unforgettable journey of a boy discovering and growing into the man he will be.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. Gay theatre kid in rural Minnesota, son of a dairy farmer? I have known many people like him and I want to hear his story. I was excited to check it out.

But the author seems out of touch with his subject matter when setting it in the current time, and out of touch with dairy farming in general. People don’t sit down to rest in a chair in the midst of milking cows. People don’t milk cows with a baby on their hip. Nowadays you can’t make a living with a small herd of dairy cows unless they’re organic - that’s been true for 25 years. You can’t afford a live-in nanny/housekeeper on that income. Teenagers don’t gather around their phones at open house to look at photos of their summer trips - they would have shared them on Instagram and Snapchat when they happened.

Between those kinds of things and the way the kids talked, it felt like the book was set in the ‘70s and then moved to the current day. If it were actually set in the ‘70s I would have assumed I just didn’t know if it was accurate or not. But I couldn’t suspend disbelief and enjoy the book. I’m a dairy farmer’s daughter, and my kids are young adults who very recently lived in the world of the book, LGBTQ friends and all. I think the reviewers don’t know that modern rural world enough to recognize how much in the book doesn’t make sense.

[Wina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars for this contemporary coming-of-age novel for ages 12-18. Carl turns 16 during the novel. It takes place near Mankato, MN, in a very small town like ours, so that's part of the reason I wanted to have it in my library's collection. Carl is gay, and has known for quite a while. The book is in first person, and Carl is sweet, gentle, and doesn't fit in. On top of that, his family struggles financially, so he doesn't have a phone or computer. The book is very short and accessible, and there is grief, family dynamics, and Carl's first romance to navigate. I found it realistic and affirming for gay youth, because Carl doesn't feel like he needs "fixing". He just has to wait to find his people. Even though it was short, in the middle I was finding myself eager to get past the part with his big crush--because I didn't like that guy. I like how Carl moves on from that relationship, figuring out what to take away from it. He is contemplative without being too adult for his age. Typical teen swearing (but Carl doesn't, he's too polite and mild-mannered), boys being crass about girls, reference to sex but no description, marijuana use. Satisfying/happy ending.

[Bruce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine enough as a YA gay lit. It's maybe been too long since I could relate to someone's complete obsession with someone the way Carl obsesses over Andy.

As soon as they start hedging around why Andy moved to the small farming town, I had the inkling it was going to be related to his sexuality and the family's denial of it. Turns out to be true.

I do like that it doesn't end on a happy ending. Andy's life isn't miraculously changed or fixed for the better. However Carl seems like he might get some happiness as he has now come out to his supportive family and is realizing that there is life after Andy. I am glad they don't end up together.

A lot of the self hatred is relatable, but overall didn't quite connect with the characters and the writing. Carl's narration felt irritating in his self absorption and consuming thoughts of Andy.

[Mandy Clarke · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a short satisfying read. Set in a small Minnesota town, the novel follows Carl Paulson as he navigates his first crush, the potential sale of his beloved cows, and grief over the loss of his mother.
Carl is immediately smitten with the new boy in town, Andy Olnan. If only he could be sure his feelings are returned.....
Through his rich internal monologue, we get to experience all Carl's hopes as well as his angst. Carl is a sensitive protagonist who ultimately has the courage to be true to himself.

[Ona Gritz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carl Paulson knows who he is. Even as his grieving family struggles. Even when the school bully targets him. Even after his first love breaks his heart. Even though he’s a gay teenager in rural small town America. “Hearts, and the ways they can be broken, are the same for everyone, aren’t they?” He asks us. He is wise and relatable, and teens will find his story compelling. His is a necessary voice.

[SmallPressPicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be a heartfelt and sympathetic portrayal of an all-too-dangerous experience for many gay youth, the fraught negotiation of early romantic interest. Though marketed as young-adult fiction, this novel explores themes that will interest readers of all ages. It had me rooting for the main character, Carl Paulsen, all along.

[Corey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light. Brisk. An overall sweet read about a boy learning how to be his own person and accept his while figuring out that some people’s journeys to selfhood take longer than others. The pastoral Midwestern setting was pitch perfect. The dialogue was great. The cows were cute. This story about a gay teenage dairy farmer was like good milk, cozy and just right.

[Justine Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story about a gay teenage boy growing up on a dairy farm in a small, rural town in Minnesota. I really enjoyed the themes, which include his crush on a friend that becomes complicated, his life on the farm after his mother’s passing, religion/homosexuality/discrimination and Minnesota culture.

[Maureen Aitken · Rating 5 out of 5]

This speedy and engrossing read tells the tale of Carl Paulsen’s life as a gay young man growing up on a small town dairy farm. Carl's raw teenage desires for a classmate are well told. The story also offers many thoughtful moments as Carl's family deals with the complicated choices ahead.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hidden gem and I wish it would receive some attention. An important story for any kid questioning who they are.

[Claire McManus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sweet. Well written characters, and great inner dialogue. I loved Carls vulnerability.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sweet and sad and lovely. It’s so good to read an ultimately hopeful story about a queer teen in the rural Midwest, especially with all the bullshit legislation out there.

[Becca · Rating 1 out of 5]

This reads like one of those book one is forced to read in middle grade.
If there is a message besides mysognistic male bullsht, let me know.

[Anna Barrett · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the story was told with humor, it ended up being far more heavy than I had anticipated. This is not just a story of coming out, but also of finding one's worth.