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204 pages, ebook
First published June 3, 2015
“His tongue feels foreign and impossibly good, my whole body suspended between ache and orgasm.”
“The only person who’s going to mark this pretty skin is me.”
“I don’t want to be gorgeous or sexy. I want to be loved.”
“He’s everything I loved and everything I’ve come to hate”
“My heart speeds up every time I turn away from him, wondering if this is the time he’ll pounce. One of these times, he’s going to dig into me with his teeth and his claws. He’s going to hurt me, and I’m not sure I’ll survive it.”
“We were both cast out of society long before we thought to leave, both told we were wrong before we knew what was right.”
“He looks like an avenging angel, and I’m the devil who needs to be slayed.”
“Having him gone feels like a loss. Will I always feel this conflicted about him? Will I always want to push him away and then miss him when he’s gone?”
I’m just the tease he needs to fuck to forget, the bitch he needs to punish. I’m the sentence, and this night, this is a period.
I feel degraded. It’s just a natural state for me, as easy as breathing. But there are a few seconds when the entire room is looking at me, panting over me, desiring me—and I feel like a goddess. Those seconds make what’s about to happen bearable.
“Are you going to hurt me?” I whisper.
“And ruin the surprise?” he asks mildly.
My jaw clenches tight. My eyes shut too. “I’ve never been a fan of surprises.”
“No,” he says thoughtfully. “I can’t say that I’m a fan either.”
I cringe knowing he’s thinking of that awful night.
“So I’ll tell you the answer,” he says,“Yes, you’ll probably be hurt tonight.”
“We aren’t here to talk,” I whisper.
“We can do both,” he says, but I already hear the lust in his voice. I already feel it creeping over his curiosity like thick, choking vines.
“This isn’t about catching up,” I say. “It’s about saying goodbye.”
His breath catches, and then he’s turning me over, spreading me wide, agreeing without words that this will be over soon. That the truth would only hurt us both. That some secrets are better left unspoken.
“What you do to me,” he mutters, and it doesn’t sound like a compliment.
Only when his cock is in my hands, bared and dripping wet, does he speak again. “I thought I could fuck you and not feel anything again. I thought I could have you and forget you. But that was impossible from the start. I’ve never been able to forget you. And you make me feel everything, Lola. You make me feel alive.”
I’m the only one who gets to fuck you.” He leans close, his breath warm against my neck. “I wasn’t going to let him slap you around, Lola. The only person who’s going to mark this pretty skin is me.”
degrading and humiliating—and still a disappointment when he sets me down and steps away. With him I want to be degraded. I want to be humiliated. Just being with him is its own sweet agony, and that alone makes my cheeks flush with tormented want.
I wonder what he does spend his money on
He makes me feel like the scared little girl I used to be when I knew him before. And him? He’s like the big bad wolf, sizing me up before he swallows me whole.
"Three nights Lola. I don't think that's too much to ask after what you did. I don't think it's enough actually, but I can be lenient."
"I can't let you go. You know that, don't you? You're mine now. Learn the taste of me, the feel of me, because this is the only cock that's going to be in your mouth. I'm the only man you're going to fuck."
My heart speeds up every time I turn away from him, wondering if this is the time he’ll pounce. One of these times, he’s going to dig into me with his teeth and his claws. He’s going to hurt me, and I’m not sure I’ll survive it.
I need him to forgive me, to redeem me. I need him to hurt me at the same time as I fear it.