I Hadn't Meant to Tell You This

I Hadn't Meant to Tell You This #1

by Jacqueline Woodson

Marie, the only black girl in the eighth grade willing to befriend her white classmate Lena, discovers that Lena's father is doing horrible things to her in private.

Genres: Young Adult, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Middle Grade, African American, Abuse, Friendship

128 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

I used to say I’d be a teacher or a lawyer or a hairdresser when I grew up but even as I said these things, I knew what made me happiest was writing.

I wrote on everything and everywhere. I remember my uncle catching me writing my name in graffiti on the side of a building. (It was not pretty for me when my mother found out.) I wrote on paper bags and my shoes and denim binders. I chalked stories across sidewalks and penciled tiny tales in notebook margins. I loved and still love watching words flower into sentences and sentences blossom into stories.

I also told a lot of stories as a child. Not “Once upon a time” stories but basically, outright lies. I loved lying and getting away with it! There was something about telling the lie-story and seeing your friends’ eyes grow wide with wonder. Of course I got in trouble for lying but I didn’t stop until fifth grade.

That year, I wrote a story and my teacher said “This is really good.” Before that I had written a poem about Martin Luther King that was, I guess, so good no one believed I wrote it. After lots of brouhaha, it was believed finally that I had indeed penned the poem which went on to win me a Scrabble game and local acclaim. So by the time the story rolled around and the words “This is really good” came out of the otherwise down-turned lips of my fifth grade teacher, I was well on my way to understanding that a lie on the page was a whole different animal — one that won you prizes and got surly teachers to smile. A lie on the page meant lots of independent time to create your stories and the freedom to sit hunched over the pages of your notebook without people thinking you were strange.

Lots and lots of books later, I am still surprised when I walk into a bookstore and see my name on a book’s binder. Sometimes, when I’m sitting at my desk for long hours and nothing’s coming to me, I remember my fifth grade teacher, the way her eyes lit up when she said “This is really good.” The way, I — the skinny girl in the back of the classroom who was always getting into trouble for talking or missed homework assignments — sat up a little straighter, folded my hands on the desks, smiled and began to believe in me.

Reviews

[Mariah Roze · Rating 3 out of 5]

Twelve-year-old Marie is one of the popular girls in the prosperous black suburb. She is not looking for a friend when Lena Bright, a white girl, appears in school. But the two girls are drawn to each other. You see, both Lena and Marie have lost their mothers. On top of that, Marie soon learns that Lena has a terrifying secret about her father. Marie wants to help, but Lena don't want her to.

[Majenta · Rating 4 out of 5]

With all the fine reviews of this little jewel, what else is there to say but: "We're all just people here." A beautiful quote, a beautiful theme. There is some very un-beautiful material, but the characters who slog through it are worth getting to know.

Thanks for reading.

[Octavia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jacqueline Woodson Flows directly into the writing techniques of Imagery and Exposition in the
first installment of this series. She authors a Beautiful depiction of that ‘Middle place’ where Marie and Lena for Togetherness.


Chauncey, Ohio is the place where young Marie, a black girl, meets Lena who is white. Both girls are the same in age but Marie has lived a more privileged life than Lena. In a sense, their lives are opposites sharing Magnetic similarities to a place that only this Author can take readers!


“Something about Lena was staying with me, egging me on somehow.”


Each time I finish one by this author, it motivates me to read another one toward completing my goal of reading her bibliography 💚.

*Extremely sensitive subjects

[This Kooky Wildflower Loves a Little Tea and Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful. Stunning. Heartbreaking.

Sometimes a listening ear offers more security than ignorance.

4/5

[Marcy Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Hadn't Meant to Tell You This
By Jacqueline Woodson
1994 Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0385320310
Genre: Realistic fiction
Level: Middle grades and high school
Awards: Coretta Scott King Honor, ALA Best Book for Young Adults, ALA Notable Book, Booklist Editor's Choice, Horn Book Fanfare

Meet Marie, popular and well-dressed in her suburban, predominately black town of Chauncey, Ohio. Enter stage left, Lena, a girl unlike the rest at school. First of all, she is white. Second, she is poor, labeled "whitetrash". What can tie these two very different middle schoolers together and form an unlikely friendship? Perhaps it is the bond they form as both girls struggle with the absence of their mothers. But that is not all these young girls must contend with, together, they tackle the issues of racism, poverty, and sexual abuse.

[Sevana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book wedged in a shelf in my house, so old that the cover fell off as I was reading it. I’m so glad I did.

I Hadn’t Meant to Tell You This is a short book, but one that will move you to tears and stick with you. It deals with pretty dark themes— racism, death, child abuse— but its overall story is about the deep love and bond that can exist between two young girls, across lines of race and class. It’s a celebration of our shared humanity. What a gift to find it.

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 soft snickerdoodles.

Cover Love: No, but I saw there were several editions of this book and many other great covers.

Why I Wanted to Read This:
My library has a bunch of Jacqueline Woodson books and I keep meaning to read some of them. I saw mention of this one in an article so I went to my shelves right then and checked it out.

Romance?: No

My Thoughts:
You know, when I, as an adult, hear a story about a kid keeping a monumental secret I can't help but wonder "why didn't they say anything?" But I am older and have more experience with life so it would seem natural to me to tell or to get help. It's not natural to kids and when they have a friend telling them something that they absolutely cannot tell anyone else, then they don't.

This book was written in the 90's but Marie's father remembers too well segregation and blacks struggling to be considered equal, so he is suspicious of all whites, including Lena. Mostly he is worried that Marie will end up hurt by Lena somehow. But as the cover says "friendship is more than skin deep" and that's really true in this book. Not only are they girls different colors, but different socio-economic classes as well. That was also worrisome for Marie's father. Really they have two hurdles to overcome.

The ending was interesting because sometimes people come in and out of your life quickly. The sad part is that while you, as a reader, hope that Lena and Dion (her sister) make it to a better life, the reality is that they probably ended up somewhere worse. If only a grown up had known what was going on...

To Sum Up: This is one of the types of books that kids in my library enjoy because it gives them a glimpse of a life that most of them don't experience. Now that I have read it I can book talk it effectively and I know that I will have several interested readers. And that this can spark some great conversations!

[Teneya Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

maria is the only black girl in 8th grade willing to be friends with this white girl lena. So they become really close and that's when Lena tell maria about the stuff her dad try to do in private.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

JAQUELINE WOODSON
The story follows Lena and Marie, with Marie coming from a upper-middle class, educated black family. Lena is termed white trash, and is sexually abused by her father. The two live in a very racist neighborhood but are able to form a very close friendship despite this. Lena's mother has died, and Marie's mother has left her family, so both are without a mother. Eventually Lena leaves with her little sister and Marie is just left with the memory and influence of Lena. She is changed. This book teaches tolerance, love, acceptance, and discusses difficult subjects. What do you do if you hear that someone you love is being abused. This book is marketed toward girls, but I think it can be a great unifier for different races. Like the girls say, we're all just people. Perhaps it's more appropriate for high school with the sexual abuse issue, but I think middle schoolers can handle it. It's sweet and genuine, and very enjoyable.

[Guilherme Semionato · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first novel from Woodson, an author whose picture books I admire. It's very good and yet disappointing. I felt like the book would benefit from 100 extra pages, it's too spare and minimalist for its own good. Yet I'm glad it was short.

[Jonea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not emotionally prepared for this book!

[Julia McCane-Knox · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novella is a wonderfully realistic treasure, which discusses many aspects of life in Chauncey, Ohio during the 1990s, including racial inequality, social status, loss, abuse, friendship, family, health, and happiness. These themes weave the novel's characters together, forming an unlikely friendship between two young ladies. This bond presents questions to the social norms of the area and deepens one's thoughts, such as the portion where one of the girl's states, "s'cuse me while I kiss the sky," which is a lyric from Jimi Hendrix's song, "Purple Haze." This piece presents the girl seeking more to life, and an escape from reality.

Another notion, about humanity and living life is displayed when the reader sees these teens going through much hardship, and Woodson presents them inquiring about racism and loss. This is seen towards the end of the book when the girls read a portion from Audre Lorde's cancer piece. Here, the author shows a key point, which actually made me stop and reread. I tried to figure out what the author was trying to convey via these girls.

Thus, I laid in my bed tossing around these words in my head: "It means trout fishing on the Missisquoi River at dawn and tasting the green silence, and knowing that this beauty is too mine forever." The girls were confused by these words, as was I. The teens believe that the statement is about living, which I believe to be true; nevertheless, Lorde is revealing more information than what the girls are grasping. I think this statement is also about living life to the fullest, while being happy and healthy. For instance, during the 20th century, African American women faced discrimination, especially when it came to healthcare, such as the case of Henrietta Lacks. These women were overlooked, dehumanized, exploited, and were not treated equal to Caucasian women.

Additionally, one of the friends is Caucasian, the other is African American. The love they form for one another goes beyond racial bounds, they knew that. Thus, they try to make everyone around them see that they don't care about these social norms, but rather they claim, "we're all just people here." This moving story lifts up one's heart and presents discrimination in a new light. It is an incredible read that warms the heart and challenges the mind.

[Marcia Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woodson, Jacqueline. I Hadn’t Meant to Tell You This. New York: Speak, 2006

Target Audience: 15-18 year-olds

The story takes place in Chauncey Ohio, originally a coal-mining coal, inhabited primarily by poor whites. When people started getting chronically ill, and the coal diminished, the residents moved out leaving an uninhabited, abandoned neighborhood. When the government decided to sell much of the land, African Americans moved in and the place was designated an all-black suburb. Soon the town started flourishing and some poor whites started returning, but found themselves in the minority. The white children kept to themselves at school and walked the halls with their “heads bowed in silence.” This is the situation in which the main character Marie finds herself.

Marie is from an affluent black family. Abandoned by her mother, who suffered from depression, Marie lives alone with a father who is dedicated to her, but avoids showing her the kind of affection that she desires. Marie belongs to the popular clique at school, so when she befriends Lena, a poor white girl, she becomes the object of scorn and derision from her “so-called” friends. Lena is not only dirty and rough around the edges, she also hides the pain of incest, poverty, racism and death.

This is a deep and moving story about friendship, abandonment, depression, death, racism and incest. The story is gripping from cover to cover and a very easy read. There are 114 pages in the book which can be read in one sitting. The events in the story are realistic and relatable. Many teens today can identify with one or more of the characters, and gain strength from the courage shown by the main characters in light of the bond they share despite cultural differences, and societal norms. This story makes a social commentary, attacking stereotypes, ignorance and subtle racism.

A Coretta Scott King Honor Book
Margaret A. Edwards Winner 2006
An ALA Best Book for Young Adults 2006
An ALA Notable Book
Booklist’s Editors’ Choice
Horn Book Fanfare Book

[Kendall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Originally I had ranked this as 4 stars but after thinking about it for a bit, I'd prefer to give it 3. This was assigned for a masters course I am in and I was excited to see that it took place in Chauncey Ohio as I went to school at Ohio University, where Marie's father is a professor. Nicely written, I think this book comes up short in a multitude of areas, leaving the reader asking so many questions that it becomes a frustration, as opposed to a marker of a "good book."

I didn't feel particularly invested in the book. Marie was a completely untrustworthy narrator. She would say one thing and do another, over and over. Multiple times Lena tried to explain what she was dealing with at home and Marie would cut her off, begin assaulting her with insults and not give her the opportunity to speak. And I get it, she's a young girl, she perhaps doesn't have the experience to deal with trauma but that doesn't negate her ability to be a good friend nor does it give her the right to "tell" Lena's story to whomever the 'you' is in the title (if it is, in fact, Lena's story that she is trying to tell).

I appreciated Marie's father and was happy to see a strong African American male character, something strongly lacking in YA. I thought the racial tensions were interesting but found them hard to believe as Chauncey is a predominantly white area so that drew me out of the story a little bit. Granted, this book was written nearly 20 years ago so perhaps the demographics have drastically changed. I was surprised, and happy to hear my professor bring up a similar point, to find that there was no toll free number to call at the end of the book.

A good book, not particularly sure I would recommend it to anyone though.

[Adrienne · Rating 3 out of 5]

JACQUELINE WOODSON
Woodson's novel, though short and sweet, says enough without saying too much, almost like the title itself.

Thirteen year-old Marie has grown up pretty lucky, living as a black girl in the affluent part of her small town in Ohio with her civil rights activist father who teaches at the local university. She knows she'll grow up and go to college, she has a roof over her head and a dad that loves her. But she deals silently with the empty space her mother's departure left. Her world is shaken up one day when she meets Lena, a white girl who's just moved to her school. Lena haunts Marie--she's poor, dirty, and talks like a black girl. Marie and Lena become friends in spite of opposition from Marie's friends and father. Lena understands Marie's pain because she lost her mother, too.
But when Lena tells Marie a secret--a horrible secret--it changes the way Marie thinks about everyone. A bond forms between the two of them that won't ever be broken, no matter what.

Woodson plays with racial identity and adolescent identity in meaningful new ways as she deviates from the stereotypes of what most people think of when they think of African Americans and whites. According to typical stereotypes, the white person is generally the affluent privileged one and the African American is the one struggling to keep their head above water. In doing this, she widens her audience. Teens from all backgrounds and ethnicities will relate to the themes presented in this novel. The novel doesn't point fingers or make judgments. In switching the roles, Woodson highlights the deeper issues, like parental abandonment, death, and abuse, and leaves the issue of race behind.

[Kiri Case · Rating 4 out of 5]

JACQUELINE WOODSON CATEGORY

Marie is a twelve-year-old black girl living in Ohio with her father. Her mother leaves them both, claiming she needs a break, but never returning. Marie longs for an emotional connection with her father, who is distant ever since her mother left. Then Lena, a whitetrash, impoverished girl, moves in to the mostly-black community. At first, Marie ignores her, but as she begins to spend time with her, she realizes that Lena is smart, talented, and dealing with some very weighty issues. Lena's mom died of cancer, and since then her father as been sexually abusing her. Lena pours out her problems to Marie, and then makes her promise not to tell anyone. Marie is stuck between wanting to keep her promise and wanted to help her new friend.
This book deals tactfully with controversial issues such as race, divorce, death, and sexual abuse. The beautiful friendship that blooms between Marie and Lena is very applicable to young adult readers, who make temerary yet close bonds during the middle and high school years. This is a story of abuse, which is also important for young adults to read and understand that abuse happens and if it happens to them, it's not their fault. This book is hopeful, but it does deal with some pretty bleak topics, and so I would recommend it to mature young adult readers.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

REQUIRED CATEGORY: JACQUELINE WOODSEN
I Hadn't Meant to Tell You This is told from the perspective of a well-off black girl named Marie. Her mom left her and her dad years before, so Marie is just raised by her dad. One day in school, she meets white-trash Lena. At first, Marie doesn't like Lena, but eventually they become very good friends. Marie eventually finds out that Lena's dad is sexually abusing her, but Lena makes Marie swear not to tell. Marie struggles with this, but at the same time, secretly wishes that her dad would at least hug her (he hasn't hugged her since her mom left). The rest of the story revolves around the two girls friendship and involves themes like racism, sexual abuse, loss, love, and social class. I really liked this book because I loved the girls' relationship and the contrast between Marie's problem with lack of touch and Lena's problem with too much touch. I think that this is one thing that could make young adults really like this book. Readers could relate to either Marie or Lena, while sympathizing with the other. I think that this novel also says important things about racism—Marie's dad doesn't trust white people, but in the end, Lena wins him over.

[Becky Carleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book about ugly subjects: sexual abuse, racism, classism, abandonment. Marie is a black girl from a well educated, affluent family. But that doesn't mean everything in her life is happy. Lena is a white girl from a poor family that just moved to town. The trashy side of town--literally--near the town dump. But that doesn't mean everything in Lena's life is shit. Both girls bond over their shared motherlessness, their ability to see the good in bad situations, and their feisty, fierce loyalty and concern for each other. In another writer's hands, the two girls, their schoolmates, their parents could have easily become caricatures, stereotypes in a "social issues" book, but Woodson treats them with the dignity and respect they deserve, fleshing them out into fully realized individuals who will stick with me for a long time.

[Kathie Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Woodson brings us an unconventional tale of middle schoolers experiencing racism, subtle and otherwise, in an Ohio town where the black folks are well-to-do and the whites live in the fringes on the wrong side of the tracks. It's a breezy, quick read, opening with a short history lesson helping us to see how this unusual situation came about and why in the 1990s so many blacks in town still did not trust their white neighbors and classmates. Her protagonists Lena and Marie develop a deep bond over both having lost a mother and a terrible secret that they share. While I could see where this story was headed, I still could not put it down. Woodson is a master, and this is a must read that will spark discussions with the teens in your life over race, child sex abuse, and some secrets that should not be kept.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, for better or worse, Jacqueline Woodson has a signature style; minimalism. I noticed it when I read Feathers. I still remember finishing the last page and thinking my copy of the book was damaged and the last 1/3 must have fallen out. I felt that way with this book too. I enjoyed what was there, but there wasn't enough of it. It, like Feathers, just abruptly ends. It must be intentional, these shallow dive books. I'm not sure what the intention is, but it's apparently the style she's sticking with.

[Sandy D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This middle-grade/young teen novel is about two eighth-grade girls who become friends despite differences in race and class. The setting – a small, mostly Black town in southern Ohio – and the characterization and historical detail are amazing. And although I guessed the “terrible secret” that Lena was hiding pretty early on, the book was still so very, very good and ultimately hopeful that I recommend it without reservation, for kids (especially girls) 12 & up.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential. Real. I found myself wishing in the beginning that the responses to hurt had been written differently, but quickly began to appreciate how real these responses are, authentic instead of idealistic. These interactions between two young women are the bare bones of every interaction in our lifetime. The circumstances and situations may change but how we are effected, how we feel, how we respond does not change so much as we grow older. I am utterly in love with Jacqueline Woodson.

[Book2Dragon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book although it was bittersweet. It is mostly a story of friendship for tweens (young adults), although it deals with some heavier issues such as racism, alcoholism and incest (dealt with delicately). Mostly it tells how important friendship is at the age of 12-14, how love is better than hate even if you pay a price for it, and the importance of family. Woodson is a wonderful writer and I hope to read more of her books soon.

[Ms. Heres]

Marie is just as shocked as anyone to find herself becoming friends with Lena, the new white girl in a primarily African American school. As the two become friends Marie finds more reasons to be shocked as Lena begins to open up about her home life.

[Rosie (The Hopeless Romantic Bookworm) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short story that packs an emotional punch. The amazing Jacqueline Woodson has done it again. This story goes against the norm, is heartbreaking at times, and makes you think about the state of the world around you.

Favorite quote: "We're all just people here."

[Sidney Owens]

This book is for a little bit of older students but its a good read. I think its important to have books like these that speak up about abuse and what is not acceptable. I liked this story of how bravery will always turn to do the right thing, even though it may be hard sometimes.

[Greg Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intriguing story of an unlikely friendship. I appreciate Woodson's grasp of teen (i.e. whirlwind) emotions and her ability to make believable characters that are easy to love (even if you don't like them).

[Cassidy Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

While short (a novella), this book was both heartbreaking and heartwarming (is that possible?) in the best and worst ways. For anyone looking for a quick but still deep and enriching read, I recommend this book!

That was stupid lol

[Anais Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't like the story itself and what it was about, but it was really well written. If only I would have liked the story, I would have given it five stars. There are a lot of themes, both major and minor in this story, but this story wasn't really my type.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jacqueline Woodson is the best. And I knew this already, but was blown away again by her skill when I read this seemingly simple, subtle, complex, beautiful book. Highly recommend, if you're into reading books for young people.