Divide or Conquer: How Great Teams Turn Conflict into Strength

by Diana McLain Smith

How relationships among leaders determine the success or failure of any organization

No one would dispute the idea that relationships matter in business. Yet despite their obvious importance, they remain largely a mystery. Why do some conflicts get resolved quickly while others lead to permanent animosity? Why do some relationships grow stronger over time, others more fragile?

Diana McLain Smith argues that most of us never even think about our relationships, at least not until they get into trouble—and by then it may be too late. Convinced that others have attitude problems, we focus on getting them to change. But that never works; it just convinces our colleagues that we’re the source of the problem. What we need to change, Smith argues, are the patterns of interaction between us.

Smith shows us how to build work relationships that are flexible and strong enough to survive the toughest challenges. She draws on fascinating case studies, especially the Steve Jobs/John Sculley meltdown, which nearly destroyed Apple in the 1980s.

This book will break the myth that relationships are too mysterious to decode and too difficult to change. It offers powerful tools that can help anyone, from new recruits to CEOs.

Genres: Leadership, Business

304 pages, Hardcover

First published May 29, 2008

Reviews

[MKFonacier · Rating 3 out of 5]

Has some good insights but they're quite few and far between. Might be a good read for absolute beginners in self-help books but not for those who have read others before? Attempts to emphasize and explain/lay foundational concepts often comes across as a rehash of the examples already given. Bought the book expecting to learn specific things but was left quite wanting. Sorry.

[PD · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book is great. I found this book while searching for another. I listened to the audiobook, and I intend to buy the hard copy for regular review.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the Preface, Smith asserts that all teams” rise or fall on the strength of their relationships.” What she has in mind is much more complicated than having “a chain only as strong as its weakest link.” However different their respective circumstances may be, certain athletic teams have consistently won championships at the highest levels of competition (e.g. New York Yankees, UCLA men’s basketball, Montreal Canadians, U. of Tennessee’s women’s basketball, Boston Celtics) because of the relationships between and among their owners, administrators, coaches, and players. Presumably Smith agrees. Moreover, she states that “a team’s performance, even a firm’s, turns on the quality of its most important relationships.” I agree. To paraphrase George Orwell, all human relationships are important but some are more important than others.

Smith carefully organizes her material within three Parts and then a Coda,” Relational Sensibilities,” followed by two appendices. I was especially interested in the material that Smith provides in Appendix B when discussing “The Ladder of Inference,” a concept I first encountered when I read Theory in Practice co-authored by Chris Argyris and Donald Schön. Smith notes that countless people have appropriated it for their own purposes, as does she when renaming it “The Latter of Reflection.” I wholly agree that reflection can guide and inform the development of more applications than can inference. For example, “reflecting on interactions for the purpose of mapping them…Whenever you map interactions, you need some way of ensuring (1) that you’re not deluding yourself, and (2) that people can use the map to understand and change the pattern it captures. “I’m sure that this process of rigorous and progressive reflection can be very helpful to both individual executives and members of a management team.

I commend Smith on the information and counsel she provides when explaining how “great teams turn conflict into strength.” This can only be accomplished within a culture of positive relationships, those that are mutually beneficial, those that are based on mutual respect and trust, and those that achieve common goals that no individual possibly could. There cannot be cooperation without communication, and there cannot be collaboration without cooperation. According to Smith, great teams are assembled one such relationship at a time. If the ultimate objective can be achieved by climbing a “ladder” (however named) or a “mountain,” fine. If there is another, better process, fine. The “alchemy” of success has many ingredients and many formulas.

[Trixie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've spent 15 years working in marketing/events/publishing within the marine industry as well as in the arts. Small-business owners as well as any employee working closely or loosely with a team will have eye-opening moments reading Smith's book. From the outset her examples of expectations brought to formal and informal relationships reach way beyond the scope of this book to shed light on the range of human interaction.

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Practical book on improving relationships in the workplace. The book suggests that performance issues with teams is often about the relationships between people than some operational issue. Suggests that relationships can be improved by discourse analysis married with exploring people's frame of reference to detect patterns, reframing perspectives of the participants, and then reworking interactions to form new, more healthy patterns."

[Kimi Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

How President Lincoln came to leadership at the worst time in the American History when our nation was divided but working towards change and becoming united once again. His skills were way before his time.

[Kara · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a great book to turn to if you have a difficult business relationship with another vested party. However, some of the main ideas are not applicable to a lot of relationships, and they require quite a bit of vulnerability and self-awareness.

[Ed Lavalette]

Decent relationship management book for when two people want to work on their problems.