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Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is a first of its kind book—written specifically for the partner of a person with bipolar disorder. If you have a loved one with bipolar, you know how disruptive and straining this disorder can be to your relationship. You may experience feelings of fear, loss, and anxiety as well as a constant uncertainly about your loved one’s ever-changing moods. This book is designed to help you overcome the unique challenges of loving someone with bipolar disorder. With the supportive and helpful information, strategies, and real-life examples contained here, you’ll have all the tools you need to create a loving, healthy, and close relationship. Find out how to:
238 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
591 people are currently reading
1281 people want to read
About the author
Julie A. Fast
13 books67 followersJulie A. Fast is a critically acclaimed six-time author, radio host, national speaker, and sought after expert in the field of mental health management. Since starting her website www.BipolarHappens.com where she offers a treatment plan and advice for those affected by bipolar disorder, Julie has written three traditionally published books on the topic of mood disorders:
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A Four Step Plan to Help You and Your Loved Ones Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability
Get it Done When You're Depressed: 50 Strategies to Get Your Life on Track
Julie is also the author of The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder.
Her former partner Ivan was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1994- and she was diagnosed a year later. Their experiences together form a basis for all of her books.
Julie knows that work, money and relationships are the main struggle for people with bipolar disorder - and her goal is to help people find stability in all three areas.
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A Four Step Plan to Help You and Your Loved Ones Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability
Get it Done When You're Depressed: 50 Strategies to Get Your Life on Track
Julie is also the author of The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder.
Her former partner Ivan was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1994- and she was diagnosed a year later. Their experiences together form a basis for all of her books.
Julie knows that work, money and relationships are the main struggle for people with bipolar disorder - and her goal is to help people find stability in all three areas.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
August 17, 2007
This is the #1 book I tell people to read about BP. It's the only book I know of that isn't targetted specifically at person experiencing BP or a parent of someone experiencing BP.
If you experience BP, giving this book to someone who loves you wll do more than reading any book on handling BP yourself. Especially early after the diagnosis, outside observation and input from someone supportive who knows you well is the best start to treatment. This book gives them the tools they need.
It's a frank book. It emphasizes taking care of yourself so you can be there for the BP partner (or parent/child/best friend/etc.). It has a section on when to quit the relationship. It can be scary to hand that to a loved one.
In addition to excellent descriptions of the BP experience (suited to the partner, as opposed to the bulk of books which can assume the reader has a reference experience), the book has good, practical advice. I found the advice around picking times *not* to discuss BP especially helpful; it gives time to preserve the relationship and remember that not everything in life revolves around a diagnosis for a disease you've probably been living with for years anyway.
Other bits of advice include ways for a couple to track mood trends together, to detect triggers, and to communicate when the non-BP partner detects a mood shift. Some of the advice doesn't seem to be in any other book, perhaps because it's the only one I know of that assumes two equal partners (as opposed to the many parent/child support books).
Highly recommended. Worth a read regardless of your relationships.
If you experience BP, giving this book to someone who loves you wll do more than reading any book on handling BP yourself. Especially early after the diagnosis, outside observation and input from someone supportive who knows you well is the best start to treatment. This book gives them the tools they need.
It's a frank book. It emphasizes taking care of yourself so you can be there for the BP partner (or parent/child/best friend/etc.). It has a section on when to quit the relationship. It can be scary to hand that to a loved one.
In addition to excellent descriptions of the BP experience (suited to the partner, as opposed to the bulk of books which can assume the reader has a reference experience), the book has good, practical advice. I found the advice around picking times *not* to discuss BP especially helpful; it gives time to preserve the relationship and remember that not everything in life revolves around a diagnosis for a disease you've probably been living with for years anyway.
Other bits of advice include ways for a couple to track mood trends together, to detect triggers, and to communicate when the non-BP partner detects a mood shift. Some of the advice doesn't seem to be in any other book, perhaps because it's the only one I know of that assumes two equal partners (as opposed to the many parent/child support books).
Highly recommended. Worth a read regardless of your relationships.
October 1, 2015
Although I would like to have a manual exclusively of my partner. Each person with this disease has different levels within it by multiple factors. the book gives excellent tips on how to handle the situation, that we are not alone, that we should improve and that our thoughts are not all bad or anomalous.
April 30, 2012
I read this in one night. The first time I've been able to focus long enough to read a book in one day since the last Tom Clancy novel.
Having recently been diagnosed with bipolar 2, I did find this book helpful in understanding quite a number of things that before now had gone unrecognized as symptoms of bipolar. Some aspects of my life could have been much simpler had I read this book 20 years ago!
Overall, I found the book helpful and might give it a higher rating once I've read a few more books on the subject!
Having recently been diagnosed with bipolar 2, I did find this book helpful in understanding quite a number of things that before now had gone unrecognized as symptoms of bipolar. Some aspects of my life could have been much simpler had I read this book 20 years ago!
Overall, I found the book helpful and might give it a higher rating once I've read a few more books on the subject!
August 7, 2017
I really struggled with this book. On the one hand, there were many helpful suggestions, such as creating symptom lists for various moods and mood episodes, which included thoughts, emotions, behaviors, etc. In that way, it was really pragmatic and encouraged uniting the person with bipolar disorder and their partner against the illness, rather than get bogged down in counterproductive and damaging behaviors and ways of relating to one another. The text assumed the reader really had zero experience with any sort of mental illness, and was not in the least bit psychologically minded.
At the same time, I thought the text itself was reductionistic and tended to present information and scenarios in black and white ways; for example, conflicts between couples were often framed as being the result of bipolar disorder. Though I certainly don't wish to minimize the effect an untreated mood disorder can have on a relationship, I really felt that this encouraged dismissive responses rather than the compassion that was overtly stated as the goal. I wish the discussion of potential challenges that may arise and how to address them (e.g., how to communicate concerns regarding potential mania; considering hospitalization; or how to communicate feelings and limits effectively) were presented more concretely. One book that does this nicely is Stop Walking on Eggshells (for those close to someone who has borderline personality disorder), and I wish there had been point-by-point case examples and advice in that style, only for bipolar disorder rather than borderline personality disorder.
Overall, the advice and descriptions of how to respond to various scenarios seemed somewhat rigid, lacking in flexibility, and dogmatic. As much as I respect and understand that intense structure and treatment adherence are (or can be) major components of treatment, the importance of these issues could be communicated in more effective ways. Perhaps because the book is intended to be helpful for readers whose partners were recently diagnosed, complexity was sacrificed for simplicity--but if you are generally adept at reflective functioning and empathy, are emotionally intelligent, or are already familiar with bipolar disorder and its symptoms, be aware there might not be much takeaway aside from descriptions of mood episodes, associated features that occur both within and outside of major episodes, some pointers on the need for structure, and some good exercises to work through yourself and with your partner.
At the same time, I thought the text itself was reductionistic and tended to present information and scenarios in black and white ways; for example, conflicts between couples were often framed as being the result of bipolar disorder. Though I certainly don't wish to minimize the effect an untreated mood disorder can have on a relationship, I really felt that this encouraged dismissive responses rather than the compassion that was overtly stated as the goal. I wish the discussion of potential challenges that may arise and how to address them (e.g., how to communicate concerns regarding potential mania; considering hospitalization; or how to communicate feelings and limits effectively) were presented more concretely. One book that does this nicely is Stop Walking on Eggshells (for those close to someone who has borderline personality disorder), and I wish there had been point-by-point case examples and advice in that style, only for bipolar disorder rather than borderline personality disorder.
Overall, the advice and descriptions of how to respond to various scenarios seemed somewhat rigid, lacking in flexibility, and dogmatic. As much as I respect and understand that intense structure and treatment adherence are (or can be) major components of treatment, the importance of these issues could be communicated in more effective ways. Perhaps because the book is intended to be helpful for readers whose partners were recently diagnosed, complexity was sacrificed for simplicity--but if you are generally adept at reflective functioning and empathy, are emotionally intelligent, or are already familiar with bipolar disorder and its symptoms, be aware there might not be much takeaway aside from descriptions of mood episodes, associated features that occur both within and outside of major episodes, some pointers on the need for structure, and some good exercises to work through yourself and with your partner.
Read
July 20, 2021Its so weird reading a non-fiction book, even though I didn't read the entire thing.
My mother is bipolar.
She's amazing and a truly truly great mom but sometimes it's... just so hard. Even if those are some very few moments.
I'd been thinking about reading about it for a while. And the book was just fine it's simply not for me and my smut-filled library lmao.
I didn't mean to choose a book for partners I just couldn't find one for parents.
My mother is bipolar.
She's amazing and a truly truly great mom but sometimes it's... just so hard. Even if those are some very few moments.
I'd been thinking about reading about it for a while. And the book was just fine it's simply not for me and my smut-filled library lmao.
I didn't mean to choose a book for partners I just couldn't find one for parents.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2014
This book was a game changer for how my partner and I viewed the illness. Not only did it give us many tactics to use in overcoming the hardships of bipolar disorder, it gave us hope that there can be a life together beyond it.
October 29, 2024
Necessary first hand perspective that offered great reminders, deeper insight, and action driven resources for lifelong use. I listened to the audiobook, but I plan to order the physical copy to reread and annotate. Definitely some good exercises and knowledge nuggets throughout.
November 16, 2022
كثيرة هي الكتب التي تتحدث عن الاكتئاب وكيفية مواجهته، إلا أن قليل من الكتب تركز على الدعم النفسي لأسرة الشخص الذي يعاني من الاكتئاب. هذا الكتاب واحد منها.
فكثيرا ما ننسى الضغط النفسي الذي تقع تحت وطأته أسرة شخص يعاني من الاضطراب النفسي وخصوصا شريك الحياة، الذي يدخل المرء العلاقة بآمال عريضة أو يكون غير مدرك بالضبط لما هو مقبل عليه.
لذا كثيرا ما يتطلب الأمر الرعاية النفسية لا للمريض فقط بل لمقدم الرعاية أيضا، وتوضيح الصورة له ليعرف كيف يتأقلم مع الوضع ويتصرف بالشكل المناسب الذي يحافظ على استقرار الأوضاع وازدهار العلاقة.
في هذا الكتاب يسعى المؤلفان لشد أزر شريك حياة من يعاني من الاكتئاب ثنائي القطب، الذي يتميز بالتأرجح من حالة الاكتئاب الشديد، و حالة الهوس الشديد.
في الكتاب يقول المؤلفان إن الحلول المقدمة طويلة الأجل وليست إصلاحات سريعة. حيث تتطلب إعادة التفكير في نمط الحياة ذاته، و إجراء تغييرات كاستجابة لتغيرات شريك الحياة. فالعيش مع شريك الحياة يعتبر معارة تحتاج لتعلم،لذا ذنصحون بأن تكون صبورا. فالأمر ليس تلقائيا.
ويتسم الكتاب بالعقلانية الشديدة، إذ يصرح بأن عليك أحيانا التحلي بالشجاعة اللازمة لتقبل التخلي عن بعض الأحلام والآمال التي كنت ترسمها للعلاقة، والتأقلم و اتخاذ إجرائات معينة للحفاظ عليها والوقاية من اصعوبات التي تحدث فيها.
كما يشكل الكتاب تدريبات عملية مثل إعداد دفتر يوميات لترتيب أفكارك والتنفيس عن مشاعرك. وممارسة الموضوع التي يتعلق به كل فصل.
عنوان الكتاب: محبة من يعاني من اضطراب ثنائي القطب، فهم شريك الحياة ومساندته
النسخة العربية متاحة في مكتبة جرير
فكثيرا ما ننسى الضغط النفسي الذي تقع تحت وطأته أسرة شخص يعاني من الاضطراب النفسي وخصوصا شريك الحياة، الذي يدخل المرء العلاقة بآمال عريضة أو يكون غير مدرك بالضبط لما هو مقبل عليه.
لذا كثيرا ما يتطلب الأمر الرعاية النفسية لا للمريض فقط بل لمقدم الرعاية أيضا، وتوضيح الصورة له ليعرف كيف يتأقلم مع الوضع ويتصرف بالشكل المناسب الذي يحافظ على استقرار الأوضاع وازدهار العلاقة.
في هذا الكتاب يسعى المؤلفان لشد أزر شريك حياة من يعاني من الاكتئاب ثنائي القطب، الذي يتميز بالتأرجح من حالة الاكتئاب الشديد، و حالة الهوس الشديد.
في الكتاب يقول المؤلفان إن الحلول المقدمة طويلة الأجل وليست إصلاحات سريعة. حيث تتطلب إعادة التفكير في نمط الحياة ذاته، و إجراء تغييرات كاستجابة لتغيرات شريك الحياة. فالعيش مع شريك الحياة يعتبر معارة تحتاج لتعلم،لذا ذنصحون بأن تكون صبورا. فالأمر ليس تلقائيا.
ويتسم الكتاب بالعقلانية الشديدة، إذ يصرح بأن عليك أحيانا التحلي بالشجاعة اللازمة لتقبل التخلي عن بعض الأحلام والآمال التي كنت ترسمها للعلاقة، والتأقلم و اتخاذ إجرائات معينة للحفاظ عليها والوقاية من اصعوبات التي تحدث فيها.
كما يشكل الكتاب تدريبات عملية مثل إعداد دفتر يوميات لترتيب أفكارك والتنفيس عن مشاعرك. وممارسة الموضوع التي يتعلق به كل فصل.
عنوان الكتاب: محبة من يعاني من اضطراب ثنائي القطب، فهم شريك الحياة ومساندته
النسخة العربية متاحة في مكتبة جرير
November 8, 2021
2.5/5
Hastanın kendine özgü belirtilerinin, tetikleyicilerinin listesinin oluşturulması güzel bir fikir. Belirtiler ortaya çıkmaya başladığında ya da hasta bir tetikleyiciyle karşılaştığında maniyi önleme amacıyla "İşe yarayan müdahaleler listesi" oluşturma fikri de.
Bu fikirlerin dışında kitapta bipolar bozuklukla mücadelede kullanılabilecek dişe dokunur bir "araç" bulamadım.
Kitap kendini tekrar ediyor. Bazı noktaların tekrar edilmesinde ben de bir fayda görüyorum, mesela stabillik ve rutin konularının. Ama kitap boyunca yapılan tekrarlar ve benzer şekilde lafı dolaştırmalar bende yazar sınırlı yakıtla kitabı bitirmeye çalışıyormuş izlenimi yarattı.
Hastanın kendine özgü belirtilerinin, tetikleyicilerinin listesinin oluşturulması güzel bir fikir. Belirtiler ortaya çıkmaya başladığında ya da hasta bir tetikleyiciyle karşılaştığında maniyi önleme amacıyla "İşe yarayan müdahaleler listesi" oluşturma fikri de.
Bu fikirlerin dışında kitapta bipolar bozuklukla mücadelede kullanılabilecek dişe dokunur bir "araç" bulamadım.
Kitap kendini tekrar ediyor. Bazı noktaların tekrar edilmesinde ben de bir fayda görüyorum, mesela stabillik ve rutin konularının. Ama kitap boyunca yapılan tekrarlar ve benzer şekilde lafı dolaştırmalar bende yazar sınırlı yakıtla kitabı bitirmeye çalışıyormuş izlenimi yarattı.
November 2, 2023
Helpful but also manipulative.
If you love a person with bipolar, be that friend or a spouse or...whatever, someone will recommend this book to you.
It is useful in many ways, especially when you're at your wits end with what to do or say to your bipolar person. This book explains what bipolar is and does a pretty decent job explaining what needs to be done to live comfortably and safely with a bipolar person. The first step, "treat bipolar first" is an obvious one and one that I agree with. Your bipolar person cannot have sane conversations about how to handle their illness when they're in the thick of it, and they will need medication and therapy. This book also does a good job of breaking down the basics of psychiatric medications for lay-people including what they're called, what class they belong to, average dosing, side effects, and when to talk about changing doses or medications. ( If you work in healthcare like I do, you will not find the tables and information on drugs to be new to you. In fact, if you work in healthcare, just skip it because they don't offer you information you don't already know).
The next step in the plan is to make a list of your person's symptoms. Ideally, you make this list with your now-stable bipolar person. Following that, you then make a "What works" list. This is exactly what it sounds like, you make a list of things you can do the moment your bipolar person starts displaying behaviours from the symptom list. If you have a bipolar person who is willing to have those conversations, then this book can be a great starting point.
I am critical, however, very critical of this book for a variety of reasons:
This book suggests that if your bipolar person does not want to participate in the list-making exercises, apparently that's not a problem, don't worry, just do it all yourself. In fact, the author seems to suggest that the entire s***storm that is bipolar can be managed if only you, the friend/family member of the bipolar person, put in enough effort. At no point can I recall the author suggesting that the bipolar person has to participate in their own recovery in any meaningful way. It's all on you, friend/loved one of bipolar person. I find that to be extremely problematic and toxic. Bipolar is an illness that has a profound effect on family and friends and to suggest that this is something you can just manage by yourself, without help from the person with the actual illness, is dangerous. There is no way family and friends can manage this illness without the help or input of the bipolar person and expect that person to become stable. To suggest otherwise is not only overly-optimistic, it's a dishonest representation of the reality of bipolar and it lends itself to co-dependent/enmeshed behaviour.
I found several passages of this book to be incredibly manipulative and distressing to me (a person who does not have bipolar but loves someone who does). Specifically, the author has several mock conversations between a couple where one person has bipolar and one does not. In these scenarios, the person without bipolar is depicted in a very ungenerous and unkind way by the author. The person without bipolar is depicted as being responsible for triggering the bipolar person. Their reactions to bipolar behaviours are, and I quote "unhelpful over-reactions". Ignoring the fact that again, there is zero suggestion that a bipolar person must also take responsibility for their illness- what a terribly cruel and unkind way to characterize a loved one who doesn't know how to handle their person's bipolar, and is (per my reading of this book) having entirely reasonable reactions to highly distressing behaviour. It just serves to guilt the non-bipolar party into enmeshed behaviour, when a better tactic would have been to offer that person some empathy in this book. I repeat, bipolar affects families and the lack of empathy shown by the author for that fact is fucking appalling. People buy this book to be good to their loved ones, to learn, and characterizing their experiences as "over reacting" and the like is like kicking someone when they're down.
Finally, I take issue with the fact that not until the very end of this book does the author ask "Hey, what about you, person who loves a bipolar person-Have you done anything to look after yourself?"
I am not a caps person but for this I have to be: IF YOU LOVE A PERSON WITH BIPOLAR, STEP ONE IS TO GET YOURSELF TO A THERAPIST. You will need professional help navigating bipolar, setting appropriate boundaries and having a plan. The fact that she waited until the end of the book to suggest that really shows a lack of consideration for the people for whom this book is allegedly intended.
I reflected for a while on these dislikes. How can a book about a serious psychological issue contain so much fundamentally poor advice? Who the heck are these authors anyways?
One of them is a psychiatrist, which is why the sections on drugs are so excellent. And the other, Julie Fast: Well, she's bipolar. Suddenly the tone of this book made sense: The minimization, the black and white way everything was presented, the bizarrely cruel characterization of non-bipolar people, the total lack of accountability. It's a shame, because I think if this book had been balanced out with more input from a psychiatrist or psychologist, this could have been an absolutely incredible book with great healing potential. As it is, I actually would not recommend this to the loved ones of bipolar people.
If you love a person with bipolar, be that friend or a spouse or...whatever, someone will recommend this book to you.
It is useful in many ways, especially when you're at your wits end with what to do or say to your bipolar person. This book explains what bipolar is and does a pretty decent job explaining what needs to be done to live comfortably and safely with a bipolar person. The first step, "treat bipolar first" is an obvious one and one that I agree with. Your bipolar person cannot have sane conversations about how to handle their illness when they're in the thick of it, and they will need medication and therapy. This book also does a good job of breaking down the basics of psychiatric medications for lay-people including what they're called, what class they belong to, average dosing, side effects, and when to talk about changing doses or medications. ( If you work in healthcare like I do, you will not find the tables and information on drugs to be new to you. In fact, if you work in healthcare, just skip it because they don't offer you information you don't already know).
The next step in the plan is to make a list of your person's symptoms. Ideally, you make this list with your now-stable bipolar person. Following that, you then make a "What works" list. This is exactly what it sounds like, you make a list of things you can do the moment your bipolar person starts displaying behaviours from the symptom list. If you have a bipolar person who is willing to have those conversations, then this book can be a great starting point.
I am critical, however, very critical of this book for a variety of reasons:
This book suggests that if your bipolar person does not want to participate in the list-making exercises, apparently that's not a problem, don't worry, just do it all yourself. In fact, the author seems to suggest that the entire s***storm that is bipolar can be managed if only you, the friend/family member of the bipolar person, put in enough effort. At no point can I recall the author suggesting that the bipolar person has to participate in their own recovery in any meaningful way. It's all on you, friend/loved one of bipolar person. I find that to be extremely problematic and toxic. Bipolar is an illness that has a profound effect on family and friends and to suggest that this is something you can just manage by yourself, without help from the person with the actual illness, is dangerous. There is no way family and friends can manage this illness without the help or input of the bipolar person and expect that person to become stable. To suggest otherwise is not only overly-optimistic, it's a dishonest representation of the reality of bipolar and it lends itself to co-dependent/enmeshed behaviour.
I found several passages of this book to be incredibly manipulative and distressing to me (a person who does not have bipolar but loves someone who does). Specifically, the author has several mock conversations between a couple where one person has bipolar and one does not. In these scenarios, the person without bipolar is depicted in a very ungenerous and unkind way by the author. The person without bipolar is depicted as being responsible for triggering the bipolar person. Their reactions to bipolar behaviours are, and I quote "unhelpful over-reactions". Ignoring the fact that again, there is zero suggestion that a bipolar person must also take responsibility for their illness- what a terribly cruel and unkind way to characterize a loved one who doesn't know how to handle their person's bipolar, and is (per my reading of this book) having entirely reasonable reactions to highly distressing behaviour. It just serves to guilt the non-bipolar party into enmeshed behaviour, when a better tactic would have been to offer that person some empathy in this book. I repeat, bipolar affects families and the lack of empathy shown by the author for that fact is fucking appalling. People buy this book to be good to their loved ones, to learn, and characterizing their experiences as "over reacting" and the like is like kicking someone when they're down.
Finally, I take issue with the fact that not until the very end of this book does the author ask "Hey, what about you, person who loves a bipolar person-Have you done anything to look after yourself?"
I am not a caps person but for this I have to be: IF YOU LOVE A PERSON WITH BIPOLAR, STEP ONE IS TO GET YOURSELF TO A THERAPIST. You will need professional help navigating bipolar, setting appropriate boundaries and having a plan. The fact that she waited until the end of the book to suggest that really shows a lack of consideration for the people for whom this book is allegedly intended.
I reflected for a while on these dislikes. How can a book about a serious psychological issue contain so much fundamentally poor advice? Who the heck are these authors anyways?
One of them is a psychiatrist, which is why the sections on drugs are so excellent. And the other, Julie Fast: Well, she's bipolar. Suddenly the tone of this book made sense: The minimization, the black and white way everything was presented, the bizarrely cruel characterization of non-bipolar people, the total lack of accountability. It's a shame, because I think if this book had been balanced out with more input from a psychiatrist or psychologist, this could have been an absolutely incredible book with great healing potential. As it is, I actually would not recommend this to the loved ones of bipolar people.
did-not-finish
October 4, 2021I need to reread this at some point, because I didn't really finish it. My character ended up with a different diagnosis, but I still want to come back to it!
October 11, 2019
Torn between a two and a three on this book. Starts out well with information and ideas for goals in working together, but it got harder to stick with as it went on. The words rigid and overly simplistic come to mind regarding how it presents the challenges of bipolar for partners. As a counselor I would share some of the information and ideas, but I would not recommend this book to clients.
March 9, 2014
I thought this was one of the best books about bipolar and how a partner can help or work through triggers, stay well, and strategies. My husband read it as well, and we intend to do the exercises together.
I am bipolar and this is one of the most helpful books I've read.
I am bipolar and this is one of the most helpful books I've read.
September 21, 2013
Really good read to understand a spouse with bipolar.
Read
June 11, 2025Bardzo informatywna książka, szczególnie aneks o lekach. Momentami denerwowało mnie jednak nadmierne przerzucanie odpowiedzialności na partnera albo dewaluowanie chorego np. "to że Twój partner przytyje od leków może być dla Ciebie wielką trudnością" jakby to waga stanowiła o wartości partnera.
February 22, 2024
Fantastic book to help you respond to mental health challenges in those you love. ❤️
January 4, 2018
worth reading , was helpful
September 25, 2023
There should be a TL;DR version that is required reading for anyone entering adulthood.
The two topics our society fails in preparing young people for is mental health awareness and personal finance.
The two topics our society fails in preparing young people for is mental health awareness and personal finance.
December 12, 2019
Some parts were really good and clarifying. Some was repetitive.
The sex life chapter I could have done without. She really didn't do this chapter well.
I think I would have organized it differently with parts about self care for the partner earlier on rather than at the end.
I did like the journal prompts and the pushing towards honest discussions around this with partners.
The audio book was quick way to get through what could be a heavy topic for some.
The sex life chapter I could have done without. She really didn't do this chapter well.
I think I would have organized it differently with parts about self care for the partner earlier on rather than at the end.
I did like the journal prompts and the pushing towards honest discussions around this with partners.
The audio book was quick way to get through what could be a heavy topic for some.
February 22, 2021
I thought this book was helpful and insightful. It has given me a lot to think about. There are some good practical ideas on responding to, and supporting my partner. It has also made me realise that I have a choice about the way I respond and react to things, whereas he doesn’t. This has encouraged me to use techniques in my day to day life which will enable me to remain calm, and create a peaceful environment. I have also learnt to not take some of his behaviours personally, but to also set boundaries, and explain why there are some behaviours that I can not tolerate. It is a very balanced book. It gives plenty of positive encouragement, but honestly discusses the real possibility of the relationship ending. It also promotes self care. As partners of someone with bi polar, we must learn to look after ourselves too! Yes, I would recommend it.
March 20, 2014
Realistic, helpful to a point
I liked all of the journaling questions to get a clearer picture of the disorder, how it affects each of us and needs. I was hoping for more suggestions and tools in particular for spouses. It was heavy for me to read since my spouse is not willing to work on his bipolar right now and hasn't for a long time due to his illness. I appreciated the reality checks, and the way the author could relate to the feelings of both the spouse and the loves one v suffering with bipolar disorder. Best book I have found yet addressed to loved ones.
I liked all of the journaling questions to get a clearer picture of the disorder, how it affects each of us and needs. I was hoping for more suggestions and tools in particular for spouses. It was heavy for me to read since my spouse is not willing to work on his bipolar right now and hasn't for a long time due to his illness. I appreciated the reality checks, and the way the author could relate to the feelings of both the spouse and the loves one v suffering with bipolar disorder. Best book I have found yet addressed to loved ones.
August 25, 2016
A valuable book for a certain community. I would have to say though that it is too skewed in favour of depression as opposed to mania and hypomania. Thus the suggestions for caregivers as to how to manage their partners' illness is not always appropriate. Also, the point needs to be made repeatedly that there is no standard and every person who has Bipolar Disorder is different; thus behaviour of the caregiver should also be different.
June 5, 2008
Still reading, but it's great so far. The author requests that you move slow. Every paragraph is a new "aha!" moment, a new reason to cry (which we all know I need to do more). As far as therapy goes, this book, the Bible, my journal, and the soundtrack for "Once" are doing it for me right now.
September 27, 2022
For partners with bipolar. Not helpful for me in particular. Also communications skills applies to all couples, not just ones with bipolar.
April 6, 2024
I didn't end it as it was giving me bipolar.
Jokes aside. I am diagnosed with biploar disorder and personality disorder not otherwise specified since 1,5 years. My gf bought this book at the time of me being diagnosed with the intention to read it, but we never did. I decided eventually maybe it would be good to take a look into it.
I think it can be very valuable to have a guide like this for those who are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with BD.
Why the joke though? I am pretty balanced since the 1,5 year, I'm taking my meds, going to therapy, doing sports, eating healthy, sometimes I have sleep problems, but in general I do not swing. Reading this book and all those negative stories scared me. It reminded me of how little I have control, and how immensly I will always be dependend on others. Maybe there are some nice happy ending stories in this book, where the authors share how great it can be despite the sickness, maybe I focused too much on the bad ones? I know one thing - I genuinly started to feel worse. Obviously I can't forget about my diagnosis, but I was very proud of myself till now, and I hopefully will continue to be.
Another thing is, I needed a bit more information on the differences between biploar and borderline personality disorder. Both of them can have pretty simmilar symptoms and some of the examples provided didnt't feel exclusively on the BD side. This is important for me, as I feel that with bipolar the illness is a bit less controlable, I feel people diangnosed this way can be treated with more understanding as it's not really something that you can be cured off - which isn't the case for borderline personality disorder. As a person being kind of diagnosed on both sides I feel it is very important to understand which symptoms come from BD, wich from personality disorders and which are kind of screwing each other up, as I don't like the idea of using BD as an excuse for all behaviors for which people could take more responsibility. This is also very important for the partners, because I felt this book was giving a vibe of "your partner is so sick, all they do is on BD..." and "do not talk with bipolar, talk with your parner". But sometimes you're not talking with biploar though your partner behaves fucked up to you.
Jokes aside. I am diagnosed with biploar disorder and personality disorder not otherwise specified since 1,5 years. My gf bought this book at the time of me being diagnosed with the intention to read it, but we never did. I decided eventually maybe it would be good to take a look into it.
I think it can be very valuable to have a guide like this for those who are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with BD.
Why the joke though? I am pretty balanced since the 1,5 year, I'm taking my meds, going to therapy, doing sports, eating healthy, sometimes I have sleep problems, but in general I do not swing. Reading this book and all those negative stories scared me. It reminded me of how little I have control, and how immensly I will always be dependend on others. Maybe there are some nice happy ending stories in this book, where the authors share how great it can be despite the sickness, maybe I focused too much on the bad ones? I know one thing - I genuinly started to feel worse. Obviously I can't forget about my diagnosis, but I was very proud of myself till now, and I hopefully will continue to be.
Another thing is, I needed a bit more information on the differences between biploar and borderline personality disorder. Both of them can have pretty simmilar symptoms and some of the examples provided didnt't feel exclusively on the BD side. This is important for me, as I feel that with bipolar the illness is a bit less controlable, I feel people diangnosed this way can be treated with more understanding as it's not really something that you can be cured off - which isn't the case for borderline personality disorder. As a person being kind of diagnosed on both sides I feel it is very important to understand which symptoms come from BD, wich from personality disorders and which are kind of screwing each other up, as I don't like the idea of using BD as an excuse for all behaviors for which people could take more responsibility. This is also very important for the partners, because I felt this book was giving a vibe of "your partner is so sick, all they do is on BD..." and "do not talk with bipolar, talk with your parner". But sometimes you're not talking with biploar though your partner behaves fucked up to you.
November 18, 2019
(كيف تحب شريك مصاب بثنائي القطب)
تعرف هذا الكتاب من عنوانه وأتمنى يتم ترجمة الكتاب إلى اللغة العربية. تكثر حالات الزواج بمصاب -أي كان- دون ذكر المرض للطرف الأخر وينتهي بالطلاق رغم وجود حلول وطرق للتعايش معه.
لمن أراد البقاء هذا الكتاب مناسب له ولا أحد ملزم بما لا يمكنه أن يتعامل معه.
مريض ثنائي القطب يعاني من قطبين شديدة التضاد: الاكتئاب و الهوس وتأتي على هيئة نوبات تستمر لعدة أيام أو شهور أو سنين -في الحالات القصوى/مهملة-. يتم معالجة النوبات بالأدية والعلاج السلوكي، ولكن الأدوية قوية -غالبًا- مما ينفر المصيب وذويه. والكثير يتغيب عن حضور العلاج السلوكي لأسباب كثيرة منها عدم اقتناعه بما يعاني منه، انكاره لحاجة العلاج، اهمال، قلة الدعم، ثقاقة "العيب". علاوة على ذلك، عندما تأتي حالات الهوس غالبًا ما يشعر المريض بأنه في حالة تحسن إلى أن تصبح النوبات خارج السيطرة وتتبعها نوبة اكتئاب وهكذا تجد المريض بين القطبين على الدوام.
يتبع هذا المرض سلوكيات متهورة، مثل:
- الصرف التهور
- اتخاذ قرارات غير سليمة
- الجنس المفرط
- الاحساس بالعظمة. مثلا: بأنه نبي أو يمكنه حل مشاكل العالم.
- افكار انتحارية .. إلخ
هذه السلوكيات عادة ما تهدم العلاقات وتصعب على المريض أن يستقر في حياته أو حتى عمله لذلك العلاج مهم جدًا.
يعاني زوج المؤلفة من ثنائي القطب ولهم أكثر من ٢٠ سنة يتبعوا "خطة عمل" تساعدهم على التعايش واستمرارية الحب. هذه الخطط مكونة من عدة عوامل:
١- تحديد الاعراض الرئيسية للإكتئاب والهوس
٢- تحديد الأعراض المنبثقة من الأعراض الرئيسية والتميز بينها وبين الصفات الشخصية
٣- التعرف على المثيرات السلبية وكيفية تجنبها + التعامل معها اذا وقعت.
٤- معرفة سلوكه المهني (حتى لا يترك العمل بإستمرار) ومتابعته صرفياته (تجنبًا للصرف المفرط)
٥- الاهتمام بالنفس (الشريك الذي لا يعاني) ومراجعة العلاقة: البقاء أم الرحيل؟
٦- الجنس (الجنس المفرط أثناء الهوس وانعدامه اثناء الاكتئاب)
٧- السعادة والحقائق المُرة.
فعالية الخطط تعتمد على استقرار حالة المريض ودوامه على مراجعة الطبيب النفسي والإلتزام بالعلاج.
الكتاب رائع وينفع للأصدقاء وأفراد العائلة وليست حِكرًا على الشريك. لم أهتم كثيرًا بتطبيق التمارين كون أني لستُ في علاقة ولكن الإطلاع عليها بشكل سريع مفيد كما أن الكتاب مفيد من ناحية معرفة هذا المرض in action
تعرف هذا الكتاب من عنوانه وأتمنى يتم ترجمة الكتاب إلى اللغة العربية. تكثر حالات الزواج بمصاب -أي كان- دون ذكر المرض للطرف الأخر وينتهي بالطلاق رغم وجود حلول وطرق للتعايش معه.
لمن أراد البقاء هذا الكتاب مناسب له ولا أحد ملزم بما لا يمكنه أن يتعامل معه.
مريض ثنائي القطب يعاني من قطبين شديدة التضاد: الاكتئاب و الهوس وتأتي على هيئة نوبات تستمر لعدة أيام أو شهور أو سنين -في الحالات القصوى/مهملة-. يتم معالجة النوبات بالأدية والعلاج السلوكي، ولكن الأدوية قوية -غالبًا- مما ينفر المصيب وذويه. والكثير يتغيب عن حضور العلاج السلوكي لأسباب كثيرة منها عدم اقتناعه بما يعاني منه، انكاره لحاجة العلاج، اهمال، قلة الدعم، ثقاقة "العيب". علاوة على ذلك، عندما تأتي حالات الهوس غالبًا ما يشعر المريض بأنه في حالة تحسن إلى أن تصبح النوبات خارج السيطرة وتتبعها نوبة اكتئاب وهكذا تجد المريض بين القطبين على الدوام.
يتبع هذا المرض سلوكيات متهورة، مثل:
- الصرف التهور
- اتخاذ قرارات غير سليمة
- الجنس المفرط
- الاحساس بالعظمة. مثلا: بأنه نبي أو يمكنه حل مشاكل العالم.
- افكار انتحارية .. إلخ
هذه السلوكيات عادة ما تهدم العلاقات وتصعب على المريض أن يستقر في حياته أو حتى عمله لذلك العلاج مهم جدًا.
يعاني زوج المؤلفة من ثنائي القطب ولهم أكثر من ٢٠ سنة يتبعوا "خطة عمل" تساعدهم على التعايش واستمرارية الحب. هذه الخطط مكونة من عدة عوامل:
١- تحديد الاعراض الرئيسية للإكتئاب والهوس
٢- تحديد الأعراض المنبثقة من الأعراض الرئيسية والتميز بينها وبين الصفات الشخصية
٣- التعرف على المثيرات السلبية وكيفية تجنبها + التعامل معها اذا وقعت.
٤- معرفة سلوكه المهني (حتى لا يترك العمل بإستمرار) ومتابعته صرفياته (تجنبًا للصرف المفرط)
٥- الاهتمام بالنفس (الشريك الذي لا يعاني) ومراجعة العلاقة: البقاء أم الرحيل؟
٦- الجنس (الجنس المفرط أثناء الهوس وانعدامه اثناء الاكتئاب)
٧- السعادة والحقائق المُرة.
فعالية الخطط تعتمد على استقرار حالة المريض ودوامه على مراجعة الطبيب النفسي والإلتزام بالعلاج.
الكتاب رائع وينفع للأصدقاء وأفراد العائلة وليست حِكرًا على الشريك. لم أهتم كثيرًا بتطبيق التمارين كون أني لستُ في علاقة ولكن الإطلاع عليها بشكل سريع مفيد كما أن الكتاب مفيد من ناحية معرفة هذا المرض in action
February 15, 2023
My wife suffers from bipolar one. For the entire 4 years we’ve been together our relationship she had no episodes until she changed medication, and I had to go on deployment. Things went down hill to the point of me having to get emergency leave to come home to help take care of her. She’s currently in a psych unit, and in the time she’s away I’ve decided to take time to learn about her illness.
This was the first book I bought. It provided a lot of insight and relatable examples for my situation. I learned coping skills, how to react in the event of an episode, what to look for, etc. Definitely a great read for beginners wanting to understand what bipolar is. Though it implies partners, this book can be helpful for anyone who loves someone with bipolar.
This was the first book I bought. It provided a lot of insight and relatable examples for my situation. I learned coping skills, how to react in the event of an episode, what to look for, etc. Definitely a great read for beginners wanting to understand what bipolar is. Though it implies partners, this book can be helpful for anyone who loves someone with bipolar.
April 7, 2022
Mixed feelings, but I'm glad I read it. Definitely read it if your partner/relative/friend has it. You have to. Halfway through the book I had the thought that the author was bipolar. Not because of the knowledge but because I felt at times it came through (as if some parts were written in a manic state). Looked it up and it was confirmed. Prior to that, I'd assumed the book was written only by the psychiatrist on the cover. Hadn't really thought to look it up before starting it. Yes, it's mentioned in the acknowledgements, but I hadn't read those. I'm not sure exactly what that means or how I feel about it. I wonder if others felt the same way. Anyway, read it.
August 10, 2018
This book is not a complex book to read, which can be a good bit, in this case, it hindered the book for a bit. The positive of this book is that it does discuss boundaries to make but it does not clear what is a bipolar disorder boundary or a plain old good boundary. Knowing which is which might help to understand the boundary limit and while keeping it firm held in a more gentler light. I liked the whole idea of a holistic treatment idea. The cons I have with the book is that some things just seem to simplified
October 26, 2021
This book is good and I have a bipolar so it was extremely interesting to read and relate to the information provided I have given this book to a number of friends since I’ve read it I think it is a very educational read for those with bipolar and those that live in their circles to understand the struggles of living with a person with bipolar and the person themselves
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