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Wherever You Go, There They Are: Stories About My Family You Might Relate To

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A hysterically funny and slyly insightful new collection of essays fromNew York Timesbestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch, about her own family of scam artists and hucksters, as well as the sisterhoods, temporary tribes, communities, and cults who have become surrogates along the way.
When Annabelle Gurwitch was a child, surrounded by a cast of epically dysfunctional relatives, she secretly prayed that it was all a terrible mistake. Maybe she was a long lost daughter of Joni Mitchell or a reincarnation of the Russian princess, Anastasia. A family of bootleggers, gamblers, and philanderers, the Gurwitches have always been a bit vague on the standard ideal of a loving and supportive family. Their definition includes people you can count on to borrow money from, hold a grudge against, or blackmail. One day, unfortunately, Gurwitch woke up to realize that she'd made similar, if not the same, mistakes as everyone else before her--just in a new zip code. Wherever she went, there they were.
With her wry wit and hard-learned wisdom, Gurwitch explores the inescapable, yet rewarding, realities of life with her relatives and her southern Jewish roots, as well as her flirtation with surrogate families including theater folk, pet people, the sisterhood, and the ladies who brunch at Tel Aviv Gardens Retirement Home in Miami, Florida. She's learned that for better or for worse (you can guess which) it's worth celebrating the traditions, rituals, and recipes that come with a shared mythology and legacy, even if her own inheritance amounts to a small plot of land split between five relatives on an ill-fated sliver of sand known as Massacre Island.
Written with haunting detail, poignant family moments, laugh out loud comedy and social commentary, Gurwitch delivers a provocative treatise on the importance and insanity of family.Wherever You Go, There They Areis a must-read for anyone who's even occasionally been frustrated by the people they share carbohydrate-laden meals with every year."

302 pages, Hardcover

First published April 18, 2017

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1938 people want to read

About the author

Annabelle Gurwitch

15 books197 followers
ANNABELLE GURWITCH grew up hoping that she was the long lost daughter of Joni Mitchell or the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess. Neither of those things turned out to be true. She is the author of The New York Times bestseller and Thurber Prize Finalist for Humor Writing 2015, I See You Made an Effort; You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up (co-written with husband Jeff Kahn); and Fired! which was also a Showtime Comedy Special.
Annabelle was the original co-host of Dinner & a Movie for 6 seasons on TBS and host of Planet Green's WA$TED. Other acting credits include Seinfeld, Dexter, Boston Legal. Her essays and satire have appeared in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Los Angeles Times, Marie Claire, The Nation, Men's Health, Glamour, Salon.com. She was a regular commentator on NPR for numerous years and regularly performs at arts venues across the country. She is empty nesting in Los Angeles. Annabelle is a Jewish mother, a reluctant atheist, and an avid environmentalist.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 98 reviews
Profile Image for Theresa Alan.
Author 10 books1,160 followers
February 26, 2017
I love humorous essays, and this collection of tales of her weird/dysfunctional family doesn’t disappoint.

She has a colorful father who could spin a yarn and a mother who laments the life she doesn’t have to the one she settled on. Her mother “didn’t realize she was marrying into a family of bootleggers, gamblers, and fabulists.” She had children because she thought she had to, but “My mother has never made it a secret that she doesn’t really like children.”

The tales weave between Gurtwich’s childhood and how her family and upbringing impacted how she views things as an adult.

This is a fun book.

I received an advance copy of the book via Netgalley for an honest review.

For more of my reviews, please visit http://theresaalan.net/blog/
Profile Image for Kathleen.
181 reviews29 followers
October 5, 2017
I didn't relate to this quite as much as I thought I would, but I still enjoyed reading it. I think fans of Annabelle Gurwitch will love it. I was looking forward to reading stories about her family, but many of the essays are more about her "tribes" and community than her biological family. They are about friends who embraced her growing up, in the theatre community, in a new-age-y kind of cult, summer camp, the Jewish community, the atheist community, and her parents retirement community. Most were humorous in a sarcastic, cynical kind of way. Some attempts at humor fell flat and seemed like her intent may have been to sound self-deprecating, but it comes across as insensitive at times. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I think that voices can be stifled by trying not to hurt anyone's feelings so I can appreciate when someone speaks their mind. I guess I just didn't relate to many of her experiences that weren't related to family.

I can't help but think that this would work better in audio book format. The copy I read was an uncorrected advance copy, provided free by the publisher for review purposes. Since it was a pre-publication copy, the footnotes were in some sort of formatting limbo that didn't make it any easier to read. The audio book is read by the author, who is an actress and comedian, so her delivery is probably much better on audio than it was on an uncorrected advance copy. Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with a copy for review.
Profile Image for Sara.
259 reviews40 followers
May 12, 2017
Thank you to First to Read for the opportunity to read this book in advance.

I had a hard time with this book. It made me unofficially vow to stop reading autobiographies of people I've never heard of, because this is the second time in a row I've been disappointed, but I know I'll keep on.

I don't know if it was my frame of mind at the time, but I read the first 20 or so pages and was just utterly confused to the point of annoyance. I couldn't understand why this woman was acting so nuts and lying to her child about having a sister and pretending the sister was actually in the form of their cat, but she was away at boarding school. I had to start over. I took a break from it, and started again the next day, and I finally started to understand and piece the craziness together. I still don't understand why she would lie to her son about having a cat sister, but that's not my problem. At least I got a hang of the general feel of the book and the author this time round.

That said, I couldn't bring myself to really like the author all that much. She says some really cringe-y things that I understand are meant to be humorous, but to me a lot of it came off just uncomfortable and a little trying-too-hard.

An example: about a third of the way in, Gurwitch brings up the story of a Syrian refugee family that had their kitten with them, and she writes, "After all, they loved their darling kitten, Zaytouna - "Olive" - so much that they must be good people. Lest we forget, Lenin was famously a cat lover." I don't understand the purpose of this little jab. Is she trying to insult the fleeing Syrian couple and their love of their family pet? Maybe this isn't a jab and is actually a compliment somehow? My Russian Revolutionary history is not that sharp, but I just didn't see the purpose here of including this anecdote. (If someone would like to educate me, by all means, please do. Seriously.)

She is also of the 'pets are not family' variety, which is fine, but I'm of the 'pets are superior to humans in every possible way, all of which are innocent babies and should be treated and spoiled as such' variety, so. Just a personal thing but it put a somewhat sour taste in my mouth as I continued reading.

Besides her humor being a little put-on for me, I also just plainly didn't believe a lot of the stories she told. The adult camp scenario was too ridiculous and bizarre to a) take seriously; and b) believe. The conversations she purported to have with the camp leaders called "Huggy Bear" and "Mellow Out" felt exaggerated, at best. Never happened, at worst. Mellow Out tells her that humans have been alive since the dinosaurs, and Gurwitch replies defiantly, (fair enough, I would have said something too in a ready-to-argue manner), "Excuse me, so you're saying that the fossil records, as interpreted through radiometric dating, a scientific practice accepted across the globe, are incorrect?" She didn't say that. She's not a scientist, and never claims to have any interest in any type of scientific field. So I should take her at her word that she said something so wildly educated and well-researched, on the spot, to someone with a fake name who was probably on shrooms? Hardly.

Sorry, I just couldn't buy into it, real or not.

Then it goes from ridiculous to utterly depressing and sad, as she begins to care for her aging parents. I liked her most here, even if she did paint a horrifying picture of old age and dying. She was the most real here, for me. It was a little too real, as her reality is something I fear I too will deal with in the (hopefully not too near) future. Really depressing way to end the book.

I guess from here it's obvious I didn't enjoy this book much. I giggled every so often, so credit where it's due, Gurwitch is indeed funny at times. But overall, I was left disappointed, sad and a little more annoyed than I thought I signed up for.
Profile Image for Melanie Johnson.
748 reviews30 followers
April 15, 2017
A quirky, funny bunch of essays that are easily read and enjoyed. As a Southern Belle, I had a great laugh reading the story about when she went down to Mobile, AL to hang out with her Southern family. I also loved the stories about people that make their pets more important than their children. Thanks to First to Read for the chance to read this!
Profile Image for Jill.
1,557 reviews11 followers
April 19, 2017
Have you had a parent who withheld the fact that you inherited part of an island until that island is getting pummeled by a hurricane? Do you have ancestors who supplied sugar to moonshiners or who ran a brothel? Have you ever told your son that the cat is actually his younger sister whose cat costume zipper got stuck and then overgrown with hair? If you have, then you must be Annabelle Gurwitch. 

The actor, writer, comedian, and former cohost of TBS's Dinner and Movie is back with a book of personal essays that take a skewering look at one of the things we all laugh and cry about: family. While regaling us with stories of her own families and tribes (ie theatre people), she also brings us back to our own homes to consider the love and laughs under our own roof. 

Wherever You Go, There They Are is a laugh-out-loud punch in the gut of everything that is best and most frustrating about those we are closest to. Annabelle Gurwitch's honest, revealing personal memories make this story collection a down-to-earth, warm, wonderful, moving, funny celebration of family, of those who came before to lead the way and those who follow us around asking for food, binkies, money, and the car keys. 

A little bit Nora Ephron, a little bit Mary Roach, Gurwitch's humor makes you feel like you're sitting and listening to a good friend over coffee or cocktails. Her openness is compelling, her authenticity is magnetic, and reading her book just makes you feel good. Wherever You Go, There You Are has helped remind me of my love for good female humor writing, instilled in me when I raided my own mother's bookshelf when I was a kid and first discovered Erma Bombeck. 

And just in case you wondered, Moo Goo Gai Pan was a swashbuckling pirate with adventures that rival any comic book superhero. At least, that's what Annabelle's dad says. 



Galleys were provided by the publisher through FirstToRead.com. 
Profile Image for Kellie Williams.
394 reviews3 followers
March 30, 2017
Gurwitch comes from an eccentric family and has had some interesting experiences. Not quite laugh-out-loud funny, but interesting. However, the last few chapters about her parents adjusting to an assisted living facility are hilarious! Her dad, "Handsome Harry" is a flawed man in his youth, but those flaws become an endearing quality as an aged man. Gurwitch takes some uncomfortable topics in her life and adds just enough humor that we can all try to relate.
Profile Image for Adriana.
3,375 reviews40 followers
March 11, 2017
Reading this book feels like chatting over coffee and cake with a new acquaintance and walking away with a friend who overshares in the funniest way possible.
A collection of essays on her life and family, it feels a bit random at times but helped foster the conversational feel of the book. Like any good conversation, it rambles somewhat and repeats itself a couple of times while keeping a light tone overall. Even when the topic is something as heavy as parental aging and sickness.
It's not laugh-out-loud funny, but it definitely earns some good chuckles. Particularly if you come from a big, crazy family and can relate to Gurwitch's experiences.
Profile Image for Jenny Houle.
893 reviews10 followers
May 25, 2017
Why did I keep reading?

The answer is because clearly, I'm a bit masochistic. I have a strong opinion that while the occasional footnote is appropriate, if you use too many, you need to edit what you are writing. Gurwitch doesn't just use them a little too much; on each page of the book there was at least one, if not two of three.
Realistically, I also couldn't relate to much of her stories, which only made it more difficult to continue reading.
Profile Image for Amber Garabrandt.
887 reviews39 followers
April 24, 2017
I received an advanced copy of this book from First to Read in exchange for an honest review.... I am so sorry I am late. 
Summary:
       Annabelle's back with her sly wit and sassy ways to tell us all about her family of scam artists, as well as the sundry sisterhoods, tribes, cults and communities that have been as dear.  We have adorable (and hilarious) stories about pet people, Dad's big money making ideas, and Annabelle's dreams of being adopted into a "normal" family along with many more.
My Thoughts:
       I first fell in love with Gurwitch when I read I See You've Made an Effort.  It was candid, hilarious, and well written.  I felt like I was sitting in a living room somewhere, talking to her... listening to her stories.  This book gave the same vibe with amazing insights into some really amazing characters- her family and friends.  I found myself nodding along with her talk of "pet people" (I myself am one, but I don't Photoshop Sassy Britches' photos), trying to figure out who was Grandma Rebecca's favorite, and a dozen other stories.  The family members are brought to life with Annabelle's candid stories.  I adored reading about them!  Five Stars! 
           On the adult content scale, there is language, drugs and the odd con.  I would give it a six.
Profile Image for Janelle.
Author 12 books3,191 followers
April 10, 2017
This book manages to be both hilarious and incredibly touching. I loved the way Gurwitch writes so insightfully about so many kinds of families. I've read several of Gurwitch's books at this point and she's always so funny and intelligent and original, and this book is no exception. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Alyssa Nelson.
518 reviews154 followers
November 21, 2017
*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

Gurwitch has certainly had an interesting life. The stories in this book mostly focus on family and her experiences with trying to become an actress. I very much enjoyed when she talked about being non-religious in a Jewish family and how she still keeps some rituals, because they’re just so ingrained into her. I also thought the stories she writes about her aging parents are at once heartbreaking, funny, and moving. Anybody who’s had to handle any aspect of taking care of an aging relative will be able to relate to her experiences with moving her parents to a retirement facility and dealing with failing health. Humor, emotion, and reflection are well presented in these stories, and I think that a lot of people will be able to enjoy those aspects of her stories.

However, in spite of how interesting most of the stories are, I wish they had more focus. Most of the stories read like a stream-of-consciousness exercise and don’t have structure or form, which made them hard to follow. It gets better as the book goes on, but the first half of this book is a real struggle. I can’t imagine listening to this as an audiobook–I don’t think it’d make much sense at all. It definitely took away from the experience, because you’d start on a story thinking you were going to be reading about one of her father’s famous exploits, and you somehow end up reading about flamingos or seafood.

I still found this book to be a somewhat enjoyable read. I won’t be outright recommending it to people, but if the description sounds interesting to you — go for it! Just know what you’re getting into in terms of how the stories are written.

Also posted on Purple People Readers.
Profile Image for Lori.
531 reviews5 followers
May 23, 2017
This book is so funny. I like the anecdotal style and the stories are interesting. I find that I am nodding my head in agreement at some of the observations. The book also gives me more insight into who Annabelle is, which I think is an accomplishment as it is not her first book - I like learning new things. It is also quite current and I think other people will really relate to it. After all, no matter who they are and how wacky or "normal" they may be, we all have families.
Profile Image for Linda.
195 reviews1 follower
January 2, 2017
I really enjoyed this collection of essays about Annabelle's family. It was really interesting hearing about how she grew up, and the unusual characters in her family. This was just the right mix of fun and touching.
Profile Image for amanda eve.
511 reviews26 followers
February 25, 2017
3.5 stars.

I'm not sure if it was the poorly formatted e-galley or if it's the book itself, but this memoir is incredibly disjointed. I really enjoyed her essays about her parents and extended family and think the book would have been infinitely better if she'd stuck to this singular theme.
Profile Image for Katherine.
96 reviews1 follower
February 24, 2017
Great book with a sense of humor. One everyone can relate to.
Profile Image for Kim.
448 reviews18 followers
May 25, 2017
I tried, but I can't get into this book. It's possible I'm just not in the mood for it right now, but I couldn't even make it to page 30.
Profile Image for Allie.
12 reviews2 followers
May 1, 2024
Annabelle Gurwitch is so hilarious! This book had me crying and laughing within the same chapter, and I love a wonky family story. It was also lovely to see Gurwitch’s perspective on death, MLMs, and growing up Jewish in Mobile, AL. I love when folks who have already interesting lives are able to masterfully craft a tale. The honesty she portrays while embellishing the truth kept my attention until the end. My grandparents are aging and we are having to make decisions about their care, so the chapters about Gurwitch’s parents and their care plans were comforting and bittersweet. Overall, this was an incredibly enjoyable hoot and holler of a book!

The dates for this book are wonky as this was a book I picked up at the Dollar Tree as a nail salon read. Needless to say, my nail salon trips became sparse in 2023 so I started reading it every now and then. I was determined to finish it in April, and I did it! It wasn’t that the book was boring or uninteresting, it’s honestly that I read so much nonfiction for undergrad and grad school that it was hard to feel enjoyment from a book. Silly, yes, but true! I definitely recommend it to anyone who likes witty memoirs and funny families.
110 reviews
May 10, 2017
Gurwitch tells the colorful, sad and funny stories that make our own families seem more normal. It was all amusing for the first 11 chapters...who doesn't love a book where you find yourself laughing out loud, cringing or smiling as the storyteller helps you to conjure up your own memories. The final chapter, detailing the experience of assisting her aging parents will resonate deeply with others going through a similar process - Annabelle takes what can be a sad and somber time and makes it painfully amusing.

Thinking my 79 year old dad would enjoy this book, he read my copy even before I did. There were numerous pop and cultural references that might have gone undetected - I could tell he related to the stories of AGs family & parents. As for myself, I like her use of pop, literary and cultural references as a tool to tell her story, as it reminds me of authors, quotes and other cultural ephemera long since forgotten.

I related to many of the stories. You might too.
Profile Image for Scott.
2,186 reviews255 followers
October 21, 2017
"I see my folks, they're getting old
and I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
and it makes us both feel strange
No matter how you tell yourself
it's what we all go through
those lines are pretty hard to take
when they're staring back at you
. . . scared to run out of time"


As I neared the end of Gurwitch's book I was reminded of Bonnie Raitt's lyrics from Nick of Time as well as the phrase "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."

Although there are a fair amount of funny moments, it's not a wacky, laugh-a-minute comedic work. There are some sad things, but it's not a full-on tragedy. It's also not quite a biography, but she talks about parts of her life and her sometimes odd experiences. (Adult summer camp, anyone?)

So what is it? I found it to be an amusing, heartfelt, and relatable collection of essays on her family, friends, career, and that glorious mess in between.

Shalom, y'all.
Profile Image for Glenda.
781 reviews48 followers
May 19, 2017
Billed as humor, I expected ha, ha funny when I began reading, so at first I was a tad disappointed. However, as the book progressed I realized it's less about the author's family specifically and more about the struggles all families share as they eek out survival in an often cruel world. The author simply frames these common themes in stories about her family.

Additionally, this is a book with an environmental and social justice ethic. As the family decide what to do with their land on Dolphin Island, got example, the subtext of climate change and rising sea levels inform all decisions about the land. As family members age, we're treated to heartfelt realizations that the next goodbye may be the last one.

Yes, wherever you go, there you are with memories of family and the reality of a changing world,
Profile Image for Steve Wilson.
Author 2 books3 followers
June 5, 2023
I remember Ms. Gurwitch from her time on Dinner and Movie and found her amusing. I wasn't sure how that would play out over 300 pages of a book but I figured worth a shot. Ms. Gurwitch is a fine writer and there are some truly funny passages in this book. For whatever reason though, this was a slog for me. She is clearly blessed with a wealth of source material, but it seemed the needles-to-hay ratio was out of whack. As other readers have opined, the excess of footnotes was bothersome. In an educational textbook they are often necessary. They can also be leveraged as a comedic device. With an average of one per page, it became distracting, gimmicky, and eventually irritating. This book didn't really do it for me, but I wouldn't be opposed to trying again with another of the author's offerings.
Profile Image for Carol Kelleher.
168 reviews1 follower
November 23, 2019
I really enjoyed the family stories of Annabelle Gurwitch. Coming from a big family with a keen sense of humor (most of us anyway), I always like hearing about other people’s family perspective. This is why Davis Sedalia is one of my favorite authors. I would have given this book 5 stars except that there are several political swipes that I found to be very unfair. Of course, the author is entitled to her opinion and I fully support her right to express it, but I found it very distracting when each little bomb was lobbed. It was still a very enjoyable book. I listened to it on audible and the author actually reads it. There is one point when you can tell that the story she is telling actually makes cry.
Profile Image for Ellen Pilch.
Author 3 books17 followers
July 6, 2017
I did not finish reading this book. I found the first few chapters slow and plodding with a lack of humor. Then I got to the chapter where the author writes of her lack of caring about people's pets. She doesn't like it on Facebook when people are mourning their pets that have passed away or ask for prayers when they are ill. All I could think is that she is a jerk. She also writes about Grumpy Cat and says he has a genetic abnormality. Clearly she didn't check her facts and her editor didn't either because Grumpy Cat is a girl! If you are an animal lover, please skip this book, she doesn't deserve any readers.
Profile Image for Bee Joy España.
5 reviews2 followers
February 2, 2018
I tend to feel stingy about my five star reviews, and I’m not entirely sure why. I was about to give this one four, but quickly realized that’s ridiculous. I loved this book. I will be trying to remember the wonderfully sarcastic ways she worded things, and the hilariously sweet tales from her childhood. I would read this again, which I almost never say, and — as she says on the cover — I completely related. I’m a biracial woman who was raised conservative Christian, with a rich family history involving mob bosses, murder, and drug lords. It seems almost tame in comparison to Annabelle’s immediate family stories, and I enjoyed that fact immensely.
3,334 reviews37 followers
May 26, 2018
I can relate a bit to some of her tales of family and friends. It's amazing how many communities we find ourselves part of as we grow up and older. I didn't get into the book as much as I had hoped, but every individual is different. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it was a lark, but just didn't relate as much as I thought I might have. Every family, I think, is dysfunctional in it's own way. Maybe another reader will relate to it more. It's well written and had humorous moments, but not enough to want to have the book on my library shelf at home or at work.
I received a Kindle Arc in exchange for a fair review from Netgalley.
Profile Image for Nada.
1,320 reviews19 followers
May 15, 2017
The story of Wherever You Go, There They Are by Annabelle Gurwitch is really more like wherever you go and whatever you do, they may or may not be there, but the legacy of them that you carry within you will always be. They, of course, are your family. The overall tone of the essays is conversational, making the book an easy and quick read. As is the case in all collections, some essays appeal to me more than others.

Read my complete review at http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2017....

Reviewed for the Penguin First to Read program.
26 reviews1 follower
June 28, 2017
Perhaps because she is my age I was particularly interested in reading this memoir - it is true that you might relate to the stories!. I also saw her recently on Bill Maher's show. Her stories are wryly amusing from the world of a theatre geek, her eccentric Southern Jewish family, getting swept into a MLM cosmetics world by being a "sister" and dealing with her aging parents. Although her family is at times exasperating you can tell she is coming from a place of love...I like her writing voice. I also liked "I See You Made an Effort".
Profile Image for James Murray.
447 reviews3 followers
December 19, 2020
I Loved this!
Family! It doesn’t matter if yours is big or small, everyone will relate to these stories in some fashion. We carry these people around with us and our lives are impacted by the events, stories and memories.
You will laugh a lot, and out loud. You’ll also cry, so be prepared!
She has a great style and a classic wit. OH, Also, she is the “dinner and a movie” lady! I didn’t realize that at first. We spent a lot of time in the 90’s together. Wait! Annabelle, that one chapter better not be about me ;-)
I definitely recommend


2,934 reviews261 followers
March 21, 2017
"Looking around, it dawns on me that we're not the next generation of the family: we're the elders now. Our parents are failing, if not dead already, and we will need to remember them to each other."

I received a copy of this ebook from firsttoread.com in exchange for an honest review.

While the premise of this book intrigued me, I didn't love it like I expected to. I think my biggest problem is it felt like the essays were forced together without any kind of theme or narrative. One minute we're reading a childhood anecdote and the next about an ailing parent with pictures in between.

That being said I liked the dark humor and some of the stories. It just wasn't anything super original that blew me away.
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