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463 pages, Paperback
First published September 14, 2016
‘Ammonia; dark sweats; citrus bleach; ready salted potato.
An apex of the sensational, is what I thought. Which hardly trips off the tongue but does FIST the brain, necessarily.’
‘I wanted to put to you a thought about the formal cogency of the eyelash as a typeface. To put to shame the contrived efforts of my hand. That equivalence: of eyelash to discrete line to slight-inked line to compelling glyph; that ‘I’ that points back to itself, a chink in the curtain through which a mirror might be glimpsed. – Only exploded, expanded to encapsulate the entire person. Like yet more eyelashes, braided together into a double helix, centrifugally spun to life.’
‘An abattoir in July. Which is what I wanted to say – what I wanted to ask in saying so: to ask, to imply. You wield what is equivalent to one of those bolt guns for thumping pig’s brains off cliffs. Or one of those pneumatic forelegs for riveting your audience by the thigh to this chair.’
‘I wanted to ask if love might productively be thought of as the faith that the body that formed the eyelash and, with a SLEIGHT of tender hand, laid it, like some foetal mammal, beneath my foreskin. That, say, love would be the devout faith that that generous, necessary body were still very much warm, muscled, alive.’
‘That the topology of space-time is totally fucking complex and mathematical and shit and people say with confidence that space-time (at least from a general relativistic view) is globally and locally smooth, flat and continuous—And it’s only the fucking quantum, bubonic devil detail writhing like a snared reptile in the torrid jungle of your intoxicating crotch that prevents this being true.’
‘Well, my darling interlocutory passerine, who tenderly repossesses the sorely possessed over and over and through a mouth rapaciously giving out entire hissing summers of wet green noise to drown out nothing so much as ignorance—which tends to the long-dead blue-sky-thinking thaumaturges, whose blood is now so despoiled of oxygen they may as well be forcibly identified as dreaming acanthuses, leaves carefully lifted in the already known to be futile hunt for a pair of jewel-like lungs or simply something recognizable as genitals.’
‘Help me communicate without debasement, darling.
Help me communicate outside of peremptory assault, my love.’
‘Your fleet tongue and I really drew ourselves up, hearing that, all maffled at the departure gate, sundered together, you and I, chucking thousands of full water bottles down chutes at the behest. It’s not as if we kissed as hot and held as all that: my hands were all over: done. Though we went and got sprained and definitely teared saliva and pooled beneath your tongue, easy, like. Easily enough to wind up those holographic jobs-worthies who can only burble the loopy speech of anti-erotic agony.’
‘In a bit, the super-rich time-travelling in order to snipe dinosaurs in the massive, artless face and with expanding/depleted dum-dums from close range.’
‘Language will not save the body from becoming fleshy decorum, but it will be a skin with which to endure; this, in Atkins’ words, is writing’s ‘Proper magic against illusion.’ Writing is never a way out but is always a way out of not wanting to get out of not wanting. Something to hold on to, at least.’
Imagining all of the air in a given space – your bedroom, for example – replaced instantaneously with concrete. All of the air, all the apparent space in the world, exchanged in a blink for concrete. Again, everything full, close, cold, dead, dark. INSTANT DEATH. That’s how I’d like to go: all the way from sensation – grounded in the comprehension of greater or lesser distances between myself and everything else – to abject insensation. Nothing but infinite, motionless density. All those gaps in the cosmos, those unaccounted-for spaces between everything and everything else – the infinitesimal rifts between quarks; the vast drifting nothings between galaxies – all of that, suddenly filled-in with concrete. (160–161)