Diary of a Reluctant Dreamer: Undocumented Vignettes from a Pre-American Life

by Alberto Ledesma

In this hybrid memoir, Alberto Ledesma wonders, At what point does a long-time undocumented immigrant become an American in the making? From undocumented little boy to “hyper documented” university professor, Ledesma recounts how even now, he sometimes finds himself reverting to the child he was, recalling his father’s words: “Mijo, it doesn’t matter how good you think your English is, la migra will still get you.”
 
 
Exploring Ledesma’s experiences from immigrant to student to academic, Diary of a Reluctant Dreamer presents a humorous, gritty, and multilayered portrait of undocumented immigrant life in urban America. Ledesma’s vignettes about life in the midst of ongoing social trauma give voice to a generation that has long been silent about its struggles. Delving into the key moments of cultural transition throughout his childhood and adulthood—police at the back door waiting to deport his family, the ex-girlfriend who threatens to call INS and report him, and the interactions with law enforcement even after he is no longer undocumented—Ledesma, through his art and his words, provides a glimpse into the psychological and philosophical concerns of undocumented immigrant youth who struggle to pinpoint their identity and community.  
 

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Nonfiction, Latinx, History, Comics, School

128 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 2017

Reviews

[Ben Truong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Diary of a Reluctant Dreamer: Undocumented Vignettes from a Pre-American Life is an autobiographical graphic novel written and illustrated by Alberto Ledesma, which recounts his own experience of the immigrant experience with its tiers of risk and layers of aspiration. Alberto Ledesma holds a doctorate degree from the University of California, Berkeley, and is Graduate Diversity Director in Arts and Humanities at Berkeley.

As a teacher and administrator at University of California, Berkeley, Ledesma doesn't fit the stereotypical image of the undocumented immigrant. However, that is the point of this book, which is part graphic memoir and part passionate cry.

Ledesma and his parents, who brought him over from Mexico in 1974, were given legal status by Ronald Reagan's 1986 amnesty bill. The tension and need for camouflage that preceded their change in status, as well as the rising nativist backlash, fuel his politically barbed autobiographical graphic novel. Much of Ledesma's concern is directed at the people for whom the possibility of being unmasked as undocumented remains a constant threat - no matter how hard they work, how civically dedicated they are, and what professional achievements they attain.

Diary of a Reluctant Dreamer: Undocumented Vignettes from a Pre-American Life is written and constructed rather well. Despite the art being rudimentary and the narrative a tad repetitive, this is a powerful document of the unspoken anxieties felt by Americans who worry that their immigration status and history will overshadow everything else in their lives.

All in all, Diary of a Reluctant Dreamer: Undocumented Vignettes from a Pre-American Life is a wonderful autobiographical graphic novel about the fears and concerns about the undocumented in the United States of America.

[Yana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I always feel so bad giving a low review to a memoir, because it feels like I'm giving a low rating to the person's life story. Which in this case is not 2 stars, it's very interesting and important to learning about the life of Dreamers/DACA recipients/undocumented Americans, but is not told in a way that really shows how powerful the author's experiences are. This would be great in more of a graphic novel format with a stronger narrative, instead it's a random collection of graphics and essays about his life, most focusing on him as an adult coming to terms with his experiences. The stories about his childhood and adolescence were very interesting, I wanted more of those and not just peppered throughout. He also focused on the experience of Dreamers as a group and in a very academic way, instead of on his own personal story. What really irked me though was the formatting - huge square pages, graphics made larger to fit the pages that ended up pixelated, and 4 columns of essay text in a faux-handwritten font. In this case the form overpowered the function in a way that was distracting and took away from me enjoying the important stories within.

[junia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not WAIT to read this. I've been following Alberto Ledesma's project since he began sharing his lunch time sketches online. As this book became more and more of a reality (and as it began to converge with what's been going on in our nation politically), I got SUPER excited.

I'm currently a teacher in Oakland, and one cool thing for me is to share this piece with my kids. They're a collection of essays with really quality art spread throughout. Normally, you can't get kids to read essays (especially these are actually pretty advanced). However, after the first day, I have a few kids flipping through the pages and then asking me questions.

I will write a more in-depth review once I'm finished. I'm super biased though. He was my teacher and boss for 2 years while I was in college and was a helpful mentor during my early years as a teacher.

[Cyndi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a wonderful topic, one not well covered elsewhere. Ledesma conveys great subtlety and nuance, which is not easy to do. Unfortunately, this is not a graphic novel like I had hoped. It's a collection of drawings the author made about immigrating to the United States and being undocumented then naturalizing.

They are disjointed and not arranged in a systematic way. The section with the bulk of the drawings gives little information about them. Whereas the main section of the book has too much information, pages of prose in a difficult "handwritten" font, talking about the author's personal experiences and stories from others, but mostly about how he came to create his body of work.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a series of vignettes from the authors life told through drawings, stories and observations. While I don't really like most of the art, it is often powerfully effective and does tell the story of living undocumented in the United States and of the constant fear that is part of the fabric of the lives of those people while they strive to become included. Ledesma starts with stories from his childhood and ends with the election of Donald Trump and a powerful drawing comforting his child in which he says "...after all, in the end, all we really have is each other. ... God knows what senseless obstacles will be put in front of you. But I will teach you to persevere as I always have." It is the twig of hope he holds out.

[Mala Ashok · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a poignant memoir written and illustrated bu Alberto Ledesma. Ledesma grew up as an undocumented Latino and rose from these humble beginnings to obtaining a PhD and becoming a professor in Berkley. However, he always remembers his father's words, "Mijo, it doesn't matter how good you think your English is, la migra will still get you." The poignant vignettes deal with the undocumented person's psyche and yet, Ledesma expresses some profound truths as when he says,"Confidence is the result of a process that must be nurtured from a young age." The author has a unique perspective on the psyche of an undocumented person which makes the book very interesting. His illustrations add to the value of the book.

[Katelyn Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for class, but we got to speak with the author, which added so much to my experience. Dr. Ledesma had so much to say about how family gender roles play into the immigrant experience and the intersectionality of it all. Also when he joined the Zoom call his pronouns said he/him/el, which is just good rep in general because my professor teaches about gender and still doesn't have his pronouns by his name. Dr. Ledesma is incredible. The graphics are just so accessible, and there's just so many different topics covered. Very easy to grasp but also offers depth and context if you read the more essay-style sections.

[Emilie Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it would have functioned more successfully as a book with separate supporting images rather than a graphic novel. That being said it was beautifully written and vital to the conversation both in understanding the past as well as approaching the reality of the current administration. Highly recommend.

[Lesley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like the sentiment and the author's attempt to start a conversation and educate about the undocumented experience but this is not quite effective. The drawings are few and far between with repetitive essays making up the bulk of the book. It is a beginning and I'd like to see what this author can do next, moreso with his drawings than with his words.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars is good right?

Pen, sweat, ink, process. This book is ugly in many ways. The page size is awkward, and the font is a horrible comic style that is arranged in two columns per page. Some of the images reveal JPEG artifacts from being enlarged. God.

The form is unique. Part memoir, part gallery, and a manuscript of a speech, this is book a juxtaposition in many ways. However, the actual content tells three or four stories that resonate and reflect each other. Though this book is short, it is a a read that constantly forces you to readjust, I suppose just as the Dreamer must. Anyways, the multiple narratives are: The Undocumented, the Dreamer, his life as an academic, his progress as an artist. That all of these stories can be told simultaneously is a testament to the power of his images, words, and yes, even the ugliness of this book.

The book is not just ugly, it asserts its ugliness, and is a constant reminder of the process of creation.

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book with much learning. I lived in Oakland and graduated from Cal, so I do have some prejudices, but I’ve taught many immigrant students, some of whom were undoubtedly undocumented. I didn’t care about that; I wanted to help them learn and learn of their self worth. I hope I was successful. I enjoyed the book and listening to Dr. Ledesma.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ledesma tells his own story, and those of many like him, through art, essay and speeches. I have some quibbles with the art and editing (some words are repeated so many times... couldn't someone have suggested using a synonym once in a while?) that keep this from being a five-star review.

[Mercer County Library System · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ledesma tells his own story, and those of many like him, through art, essay and speeches. Some quibbles with the art and editing keep this from being a five-star review, but it is an important story of the immigrant experience that's not often heard. (Reviewed by Sharon, Hickory Corner branch)

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A simply amazing visual/textual exploration of one man’s childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood as an undocumented immigrant and eventual naturalized citizen. This is a #MustRead at any time but is particularly powerful in our current xenophobic and “zero tolerance” climate.

[Vi · Rating 5 out of 5]

the alphabet book is sweet. it is part graphic novel and part essay writing.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Illustrated memoir by a formerly undocumented UC Berkeley professor about the importance and difficulty of telling stories of the undocumented immigrant experience. I want to read more from Ledesma!

[Edward Sullivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A graphic memoir told in vignettes that is interesting, insightful, and often affecting, but could have been better structured.

[L.C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick quick read! Great drawings. Going to pull multiple pieces for student discussion on immigration.

[Silvia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good resource on how immigration status can affect people in different ways, even after gaining legal residency.

[Chloe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned so much about living as an undocumented person in America where opportunity and support is essentially non existent in country where racism and white supremacy is its foundation.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really important read that taught me about an experience that I cannot call my own.

[Daniela Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the superhero comparisons! The idea of undocumented immigration being part of the American experience blew my mind :) This is something people need to read to understand the dialectal interactions of immigrants when undocumented and understand Ledesma's subversion of the fairytale trope.

[Stephanie Beltran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love it!! Highly recommend it!

[Victoria]

Great material to share with middle grades and high school. Chapter 7, The Undocumented Alphabet, would be wonderful as its own book. We may consider how Ledesma shows us his experience through writing and visual works as a pathway to encourage young writers and artists.

[Mills College Library]

741.5973 L4736d 2017

[Rachel]

I really appreciate where this book is coming from, but boy is it dull. Also, it’s not a graphic novel, which I felt was a real bait-and-switch.