Dealing with the Rejection and Praise of Man

by Bob Sorge

Rejection. Ugh! Many of us have been devoured by its ravages, and most of us have also given it out. Praise. Now there's a happier word! But the sinister tentacles of man's praise constantly seek to disqualify God's servants from their highest inheritance. Learn how to hold your heart before God in a way that pleases Him in the midst of both rejection and praise from people.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction, Theology, Christian Living

86 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 1999

About the author

Bob Sorge is “the speaker who can’t talk”—that is, he is reduced to a whisper because of a debilitating vocal injury he suffered over 20 years ago. Through the journey, God has given him an empowering message that explores God’s purposes in fiery trials. It’s not the fire that changes you but your pursuit of God in the fire that changes you. Bob has a unique way of helping us process our journey so we stay in the race and overcome. Whether you’re reading one of his books or listening to him, you’re about to receive a message from the heart of God that will strengthen your faith and draw you into greater intimacy with Jesus.

Reviews

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a quick read (under 2 hours) but took longer (specifically with the first half) because there was so much to chew on!

The first half on rejection felt so comforting yet encouraging and I felt called higher. So many light bulbs going off + lots of journaling! HIGHLY recommend. The second half on praise had some great nuggets as well, but also felt a little off at times. Felt to be a lot of focus that essentially words of affirmation, encouragement, love, etc from others should go in one ear and out the other, and that felt off to me (this is the reason I’d rate this 4.5/5). But I fully realize the topic of praise of man is very nuanced and holds multiple layers + a fine line.

Bob did address how to handle praise in a healthy way at the end, but wish that would’ve been something he went a little deeper with! I did appreciate how he touched on what we are called to do as the body with one another (encourage, edify, love, etc) and referenced multiple passages of scripture that I was thinking about all throughout the “praise” section of the book.

[Karynn Heckler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever been sucker-punched in the soul by God? No? Read this book and I'll ask you again XD

The best way to describe this book is that it was a necessary wounding. This book hurt. A lot. There were a lot of lies I realized I was believing and truths I needed to hear. This book cuts straight to the heart and waits for God to move and do the rest.

Personally, I needed to talk it out with a more mature Christian and work through what I was struggling with in person. Definitely a book that I recommend for all Christians to read at some point-especially if you are stepping into a leadership role. I will absolutely continue to reread and mark up my book as the years go on.

[Allison King · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has a great premise and some of the main points were helpful for those of us struggling with idols of pleasing others and fear of rejection. However, I think that the author's failure to definitively define his terms and the lack of consistency in word usage throughout hampered the book's message.
Additionally, the author took it upon himself to make assumptions (putting words into Jesus' and God's mouth {pp. 46, 54, etc} If Jesus is God, then YES, He receives our praise. Why in the world would he make us and command us to praise him if he was just going to toss it off of him like trash? You can't separate Jesus the man from Jesus the son of God to that degree.), uses questionable word choices that distract from the point (p. 49 "God really has a thing for you!" I mean really. Of all the ways to write this idea that is probably the worst), and make claims not backed up by reality (p. 65 "Today's worship bands are without doubt the most sophisticated of all history in terms of musicianship (HA really??? What about the scads of church musicians that are still revered today from the past several centuries? Having worked with many church bands and worship teams, and also as a professional musician, I find this claim very difficult to believe), equipment readiness, and professional acumen." (really? Maybe some, but the best in all of history? I beg to disagree.))
If you're able to overlook these things, you can find some nuggets to put to good use, but I found it a difficult read because of the many distractions and the wanna-be "hip" writing style.
Last thing: p. 26, just needing a hug DOES NOT IMPLY that you are looking to that hug for your sole identity and purpose. The author could have used a different quotation to make this point. I don't think that this one is really getting the point that he wants to make across. God made us as communal creatures and therefore, in order to thrive, we NEED physical affirmation from other humans. Sure, in order to live and serve God, you can survive without hugs, but sometimes we really just need a hug!

[Brianna MacPhee · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW WOW WOW!! Everyone should read this book! Super challenged and convicted throughout! Great read that will probably be one I read every year!

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Totally made me rethink this area of my life in a really helpful way.

[Daunavan Buyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short book is phenomenal. Each page was challenging and refreshing. Bob's premise is that our affirmation and praise should come primarily from God, not from people. Most Christian leaders should read this, especially if your ministry involves a platform at all.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn't think I was going to like it or that I needed it, but I had it and figured I would read it before I gave it away. Scratch the giving it away part, this is worth keeping. I don't necessarily agree with everything that he says, and I don't necessarily like how he said stuff, but it was extremely beneficial. I came from a family that literally never praised me for anything, so I had no idea what the proper role of giving and receiving praise was. I even had people in the legalistic churches I grew up in tell me how sinful it was to give or receive praise. Stupid. Bob connects rejection and praise by pointing to our hearts, showing that they aren't as far away as we think. He gives pointers for giving praise and for receiving it, and for dealing with rejection. A great book. Worth the read whether you are in ministry or not, and whether you are a Christian or not.

[Tiffany Wilson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favorite. I know Bob is coming from a good place but most stories he pulled from the Bible and then used to make a point, seemed like a stretch. I felt like the idea of slapping yourself on the wrist every time you “get the warm fuzzies” from praise isn’t healthy. I definitely believe his point of being free from people’s praise/rejection/opinion of you is so valuable, but I don’t think God condemns the good feelings that come with encouragement. I think the point should be - we should be seeking God’s praise and approval first. All others are good and nice, but dim in comparison. And being weary of our pride.. how we respond to the praise is important. I think it’s okay to be proud of yourself without being prideful (thinking you’re better than someone else.. or that the good you offer comes solely by you and not the Lord). Just my thoughts..

[Juan Laureano · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked it. I thought he addressed our response to rejection and praise very well. What it meant to take them to heart and how we ought to respond to them. Also, how to stay grounded in the fact that Christ is all we really need at the end of the day.

Only reason is not a 5, is because I don’t think it’s necessary to assume or guess what Jesus is thinking. He added to scripture in a storytelling way to get his point across. I can see where he was going, and I don’t think it did it to deceive or mislead.

The author also has a tendency to repeat points over and over again using different words, when it was clear the first time.

[Mo Clayborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally changed my perspective of rejection!

I've battled rejection and abandonment all my life. It started when I was very young. The last few years God had been affirming and loving on me and this now includes Him using this book. I always figured rejection was from the enemy and I tried to avoid or overcome it unsuccessfully! This gave me a new perspective! Excellent resource and I'm sure I will refer back to it as I continue this journey to love people despite their rejection or praise towards me!

[Curtis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think the author seriously misunderstands how we should understand praise and rejection. While it is true that our true value and worth come only from our Heavenly Father, the author seriously misguides readers in how to respond to both praise and rejection from those around us. He goes so far as to recommend we say one thing but think another! Why teach people to be duplicitous and less-than-genuine in their interactions with others?! I wouldn't recommend this book.

[Dale · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t think this book is terrible but I wasn’t a huge fan. It felt too much in the surface and oversimplified. I thought the exegesis was not clear and so it constantly felt like verses were just taped on to a principle he was wanting to put forward. I also thought much of the book was just taking passages in scripture and making them prescriptive without really spending adequate time connecting the deep lies at work in our hearts and then the deep truths of the gospel of Jesus.

[Mathew Reames · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book on humility. It is a book about how we handle praise and rejection. Our reaction to both is rooted in our pride. The better we understand this and deal with our pride, the less we will be held captive by people's opinion.

[Alexcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Healing after rejection is possible

The wisdom in the pages of this book and brought healing to me in this area along with sound biblical advise on how to handle rejection and praises. A great book!

[Delaney Leach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly convicting, thought-provoking, and freeing. A book I will read again and again.

[Ryan Seow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really really real

This is something the church needs to hear!! Receiving the Father’s love and looking to the source of your acceptance

[Bryce Kreiser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential

[Brock Elstro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Christian leader should read this book…and it’s an easy read! Thank you Jesus!

[Wendy Frasier · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best, quick look at the snares of rejection and praise and How God wants to work this out in us!!

[Rev. Dr. Micah Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick read. Easily the best book I’ve read this year.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book to read at different times and situations in your life. I read it through once then read the section I that I needed after.

[Corrah E · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book! Well written, not added fluff. Author got right to the point and back up what he wrote with scripture.

[Hannah Callahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every christian needs to read this

[Andre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book. It has changed the way I see a lot of things and I’m grateful for the heart & mind renovation this teaching did inside of me. It will be a book I re-listen to going into the future for sure to remind me of the invaluable lessons Bob Sorge shared.

[Rock Rockwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very fast book to read with deep insights. I felt like I've wrote this book through the experiences and insights of my life. Bottom line: Don't define yourself by people's rejection or praise, but only in God through Christ alone. Spiritual maturity is not found in how glorious or accepted you are, but in how glorious Christ is and how accepted we are in his FINISHED work for us. The gospel is clearly presented. Leaders are challenged to accept rejection as a normal mode of God's sanctification process so that the church can be led for Christ and not individuals. A must read.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Follow what the Lord leads you to do with your life. Obedience to His call is number one. The devil will try to tell you to not do certain difficult things the Lord has asked you to do, because the praise of man will not be forthcoming. If he instills in you that man's praise is more important, than he can paralize you in your walk and in your ability to do kingdom work. Only the Lord can fulfill the heart of a believer. The author also gives good advice on how to objectively receive praise from other believers.

[Jack Backes · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book connecting fear of rejection and desire for praise as two sides of the same hideous coin. Gives very practical steps on overcoming such from the perspective of someone who has both internally struggled and counseled others. I wish he would have spent more time on his "what to do when you are praised" and "how to praise others" chapters.

I love his conclusion at the end, where he gives a point by point summary of the entire book.

[Eugenia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of great thoughts, but I thought it was a bit harsh. I was actually surprised at the end when the last few chapters focused on how to give and accept praise -- the rest of the book had made it sound extreme, like you are to never accept it at all. The intensity of it made it hard to apply, as it didn't seem realistic or even a healthy balance. At the very end though, it balanced out and was encouraging... wish that had been the case during the whole read.

[Nanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. The minute I finished the last page I felt like going back to the beginning and reading it all over again (which I very well might do!). So many insights. So many answers to questions I've had for most of the time I've walked with the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for your work in and through Bob Sorge!

[April · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book for those interested in breaking free from the fear of man. I was most interested Sorge's chapters on godly responses to others' praise. He exhorts readers to care more about God's approval than man's opinion.