How Do I Stop Losing It With My Kids? Getting to the Heart of Your Discipline Problems

CCEF Minibooks

by William P. Smith

The kids are hungry, dinner is late, everyone's tired and on edge, and then it happens--you lose control and blow up at them again. Is losing control with our children inevitable in our busy world? Or is there a better way? Learn from William P. Smith a better way to relate to your children than with irritation, anger, and harsh words. Drawing on his counseling and parenting experiences, he explains why you lose control with your children, and then offers strategies that will help you change the way you relate to your children when you are under pressure.

Genres: Parenting, Family

24 pages, Paperback

First published June 30, 2008

About the author

William P. Smith, M.Div., PhD., is the director of counselling at Chelten Baptist Church, Dresher, PA., adjunct faculty at CCEF, and the author of many counselling articles and the book Caught off Guard: Encounters With the Unexpected God.

Reviews

[Zach Hollifield · Rating 5 out of 5]

I for one have never “lost it” with my children because I am a perfect dad. But for those lesser parents, I can’t think of a more God-centered and solidly rooted book. Simply fantastic and extremely helpful…well, I’m sure it will be for those of you who need it.

[Mike E. · Rating 3 out of 5]

These mini-books (or pamphlets) are excellent and introductory.

I am in the process of reading all of them. Concise. Biblical. Practical.

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Admit to God that your biggest problem is not your child's actions and attitude, but the desires that control you.

[Mathew Troy Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pointed, Concise and very practical

This is a great 30 minute read. If you want a primer on discipling your children from God’s heart, this book is for you. If you are presently struggling with outbursts of anger, this book is for you.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Given how short it is, it was very helpful. But this is really just a brochure. Good, thought provoking and challenging points with some helpful tips. Important emphasis on grace, Gods power to redeem even broken situations, and parents being humble, self-critical, and repentant.

[Matthew Manchester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blissfully but painfully short. Blissfully because it gets right to what you need to hear and read. Painfully because you want more. I will need to read this pamphlet a million more times. Seriously.

[Nick Prodromou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, takes 10 mins to read but it's well worth it.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't have kids. But I still found this 19-page booklet to be extremely helpful in realizing what is happening when I fly into a fit of anger with anyone (in my own case, with my mother.). Smith very effectively helps us to see that the cause of our rage likely lies within ourselves, not the other person (which I think is a very important step in learning to control our anger.) Smith helps us to see the right place of God in all this.

Note: I found this booklet to be more helpful than the booklet in the same CCEF series which is called "Anger" (by David Powlison) because this one gets to the heart of the matter much more quickly and effectively.

Update (2013): It's interesting to read my review five years later. I don't really struggle with this issue any longer and I think that can be attributed in large part to this booklet (and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, of course!)

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good series of gospel-focused counselling booklets. Bullet points from this one:
- I get cranky with my kids more because of my own attitudes and desires than because of their behaviour.
- Kids poor behaviour (like my own) is ultimately directed against God, not against me.
- My goal is to lead them to Jesus (which will last), not force them to obey my rules (which won't last).
- A few pretty helpful practical suggestions.

[Steve Hemmeke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent teaching on where the parents' heart and goal must be in training children. We get angry when we get focused on our own desires instead of God's standards. Good practical tips on what to do instead, when you start getting angry with your child.

This gave me tangible help last night in dealing better with a lying child than in the past.

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent.