Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned

by Kinky Friedman

Walter Snow is doomed. He stares at the blank pages in his typewriter, hoping for the spark that will finally ignite his ambition to write the Great Armenian Novel. And then he meets Clyde Potts. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, perhaps psychic, and, for better or worse, very possibly unbalanced. With Potts’s joie de vivre and her certified-insane partner in crime, Fox Harris, Snow is caught up in a series of pranks against corporate sprawl that they execute with a bit of booze and some wacky tobaccy from Australia known as Malabimbi Madness. Things quickly spin out of control as the trio’s ultimate, diuretically inspired prank leads to an unexpected, shocking conclusion, and Walter is left to wonder if the only things you ever keep in this life are the things you let slip through your fingers.

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Humor, Mystery Thriller

240 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2003

About the author

Richard S. "Kinky" Friedman is an American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician and former columnist for Texas Monthly who styles himself in the mold of popular American satirists Will Rogers and Mark Twain. He was one of two independent candidates in the 2006 election for the office of Governor of Texas. Receiving 12.6% of the vote, Friedman placed fourth in the six-person race.

Friedman was born in Chicago to Jewish parents, Dr. S. Thomas Friedman and his wife Minnie (Samet) Friedman. The family moved to a ranch in central Texas a few years later. Friedman had an early interest in both music and chess, and was chosen at age 7 as one of 50 local players to challenge U.S. grandmaster Samuel Reshevsky to simultaneous matches in Houston. Reshevsky won all 50 matches, but Friedman was by far the youngest competitor.

Friedman graduated from Austin High School in Austin, Texas in 1962 and earned a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Texas at Austin in 1966, majoring in Psychology. He took part in the Plan II Honors program and was a member of the Tau Delta Phi fraternity. During his freshman year, Chinga Chavin gave Friedman the nickname "Kinky" because of his curly hair.

Friedman served two years in the United States Peace Corps, teaching on Borneo in Malaysia with John Gross. During his service in the Peace Corps, he met future Texas Jewboy road manager Dylan Ferrero, with whom he still works today. Friedman lives at Echo Hill Ranch, his family's summer camp near Kerrville, Texas. He founded Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, also located near Kerrville, whose mission is to care for stray, abused and aging animals; more than 1,000 dogs have been saved from animal euthanasia.

Series:
* Kinky Friedman Mystery

Reviews

[Jonathan K (Max Outlier) · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun read with quirky characters, nutty schemes and personal insights from the author. I can't help but feel there's elements of fact woven into the fiction and like the humorous elements of it too. The narrative is unique as is the style of writing though I felt the ending was predictable. Regardless I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys creative character development and surprise.

[Michael Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I begin? Had I not interviewed the one and only Kinky Friedman about his MUSIC for the magazine I publish (kudzoomag.com) I may never have known about his career as a prolific writer. The proud Texan has authored a while pile of books, some non-fiction, mostly fictional, like the excellent Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned. The story follows a novelist living in a basement apartment in New York City as he fights to overcome a bad case of writers block. A chance meeting at his bank with a beautiful and somewhat dangerous woman named Clyde leads to one of the biggest fish stories you ever heard. After Clyde introduces Walter (the writer) to her possibly insane best friend Fox, the trio become tighter than panty hose two sizes small, and set about on a series of adventures, aka: "hobbies," while chain smoking cigarettes and toking on a "one hitter" and drinking large quantities of adult beverages. The book is a real page turner, and Friedman's obvious gift for creating characters keeps you interested in these people. Thrills, lust, activism, danger and a great deal of humor make this a simply excellent read.

[Mel · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took a while to really get into this book. The first 100 pages were choppy and kinda boring. But once he got into the "operations" it was exciting and fun. I fucking hated the ending. Hated it! But Clyde and Fox were wonderful characters. I did not care for the main character, Walter Snow, because he turned out to be a boring-ass "no-hoper" who returns to normal life. Blah. Boo on normality and being a damned sheep.

Something else that really irritated me about Kinky Friedman is his repetitive use of the words "facetious" and "nefarious." Doesn't he know any other descriptive words? Amusing, blithe, capering, clever, comical? Or for nefarious: abominable, atrocious, bad, base or corrupt? Maybe I'm nit-picking but I thought an author was supposed to also be a kind of word-smith.

[Carl · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was like watching a middle-aged white man perform a 50 Cent song at karaoke. He is so far out of his element that you can't even laugh, and instead you find yourself pondering the mortality of your own sense of cool.

[Mike Einhorn · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you're expecting Kinky the detective, skip this book...

[Ricky Ginsburg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not Kinky's best.

[Simon Robs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Come Monday there's a new or renewed sheriff in town, thank God! That would be one DJT who, makes an appearance in this Kinkster edition or rather his persona takes a hit in the screwball plot of kinky characters who haha, put the screws and/or pilfer the Midas brand of Trump in one of their projects of redistribution of justice in good ol' NYC. These are ribald hijinks and name-dropping, allusion pointed short chapters that never fail to tickle a chuckle or two in each & every scenario. You can read his books in one or two/three sittings but don't think that you're shorted, you'll not be if you enjoy & can tolerate some incorrectness, political or otherwise, just go for the ride, it's a convertible so be prepared to muss yer hair and get airy with it!

[Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining and the pranks, or projects that come about when Walter the writer meets up with Clyde and Fox keep escalating!

Is this a true story? All fiction? Part of both? Guess we may never know.

A book within a book. This is my first Kinky Friedman book and I really liked it. What freaks me out is I decided to research KF and discovered he passed away (July 2024) right at the moment that I discovered him. Coincidence? I think he sent me a message to read his books. Now I have no choice but to do that.

I see he is on YouTube as-was a funny, talented musician as well.

[Kate]

I read this too long ago to really remember how much I liked it. I'm a huge Kinky fan, and my copy of this book is even autographed. This is not a Kinky book, with his regular gang of misfits.
No rating.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

Only my 4th Kinky book, and the first non-detective novel. Still a fun ride.

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

My two favorite passages from the book:

"No kid in the world ever grew up wanting to be a critic. There's probably never even been a statue erected to a critic. There's probably never even been a penis erected to a critic."

"The best people you'll ever meet will often come to you like stray dogs and cats, moving with graceful evanescence through your life, then leaving you forever with empty spaces that only you can fill."

[Samantha G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very hard to put down, I wanted to know more about the colorful characters within this book. This is the first Kinky Friedman book I’ve read and I definitely will be going back for more. There is a bit of repetition through out the book which irked me a bit, but moving past that I’d say the book was a successful first read in my long list of “to reads”.

[Jules Nymo · Rating 1 out of 5]

I should've checked Goodreads before I bought this book on an impulse in January. Who would have thought most reviews rated this one star like I am doing right now? Not me. I bought it for two decent reasons: The title was really cool. I still stand by that. Secondly, the cover was intriguing and cool in a way. Made me curious about what is within the pages. You know the saying "you shouldn't judge the book by its cover"? This time it's the case.

It's really bad. Disappointed to say this but it was. The premise was cool, but the author wrote it really bad. So much passive voice. A lot of telling, instead of showing.

Here are few examples from the novel:

I found myself wondering if her public hair was as blond as the hair on her pretty head. Or did she dye it, as I'd once read that Marilyn Monroe used to do? I also questioned whether my skills at writing sex scenes might exceed my skills at sex or the other way around. Would the basic sexual chemistry that I felt surely existed between Clyde and myself hold up when tested in the lab?

It isn't that difficult for two soulful, mercurial individuals to come along and take over your life, especially if you don't have a life. Or at least if you didn't really have one until they came into it. Now you suddenly find yourself swept mightily along by currents that flow from places you know not and go to places beyond your imagination.

With those immortal words, Fox marched into Starbucks carrying the cardboard box, with me left trailing in his wake, following along like the Village idiot. I don't contend that there was any high-minded existential credo motivating Fox or Clyde.

The author tries too hard. He put in a lot of words that are wasteful and pointless. A lot of adjectives too (like bad adjectives, which are worse). Bleh.

[Dennis Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read many Kinky whodunits and loved all of them. Sadly Kinky's stand-alone satire (?) KILL TWO BIRDS AND GET STONED does not measure up to anything he has written before or after this one. He spends way too much time delving into the philosophy of writing fiction particularly.Walter Snow is a dull wanking basement dweller writer has-been until he meets Clyde, a knock-out fun-loving gal and Fox, an alcoholic druggie daredevil.

Kinky spends half of the book talking about everything fiction followed by up and down action sequences. Walter pales compared to Clyde and the old Fox. Plus he is a chicken shit (this is only apparent near the end of the story). Finally he begins to write his great novel when he isn't dreaming about sticking it (in) to Clyde. Overall, I was disappointed.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am actually a little bit shocked that I enjoyed this book, and Kinky Friedman’s style of writing, so much.

I have not read anything by Kinky previously, and went in with somewhat-tempered expectations...which proceeded to be blown out of the water.

This is an easy read, but not so easy that you don’t take the story (and the people inhabiting the story) seriously. I think that the characters are what stand out most in Friedman’s writing style, as he does a brilliant job of creating people just unbelievable enough to be believable.

There are plenty of quotable one-liners, memorable settings, relatable internal dilemmas, and a perfect amount of lackadaisical prose to come together for a read that could truly be described as enjoyable.

Just because I rarely hear Kinky Friedman idolized or viewed as a top-tier writer, I am going to assume that the rest of his novels aren’t this good. But this does mean that I will certainly be giving at least one more of his titles an opportunity.

Somehow the combination of the accessibility and the humanity of the prose was reminiscent of some of my favorite authors. I am doubtful that Friedman can continue to carry such a powerful and intriguing voice through his work, but I will have to give him the opportunity to do so before I completely write him off.

[Kenwyn Whitford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to give it 4 stars because the Kinkster had the audacity to check out. Commit to the 'deep-sleep.' Croak. Depart . . . all the above.

If ever there has been a time to read Kinky, take a slice off his humor bread, butter it with irreverence, that time is now.

I have been with the Kink and I have thought everything is just a one-liner for him, but boiling beneath that insincere persona is a very funny guy, and there were moments in his Loony Tune world where humor collided with reality. Such it is with this book. Well worth the read. Buy it. Read it. Before you are pushin' up daisies.

[Marc Whelchel · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a huge fan of Kinky's mysteries, I was a little disappointed in this book. When the non-sequiturs and one-liners aren't coming from a cigar-chomping Texas Jew, I guess maybe they fall flat. And while the author spent a lot of time telling us how special Clyde and Fox were, he didn't do a great job really showing it. I didn't find myself rooting against them exactly, but I didn't buy in, either.

Still, Kinky's sense of humor -- equally sad, weird, goofy, and profound -- makes the book a decent enough read.

[Andrea Miliani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quería leer algo estúpido y de ficción y terminé aprendiendo mucho con este libro. El autor es gracioso —sarcástico— y hace buenos chistes (creo que particularmente buenos para los que escribimos y tal vez aburridos para los que no), pero igual encontré mucha realidad dolorosa y muy actual. No sé si fue porque mis expectativas eran muy bajas (tiene pésimas reseñas acá en Goodreads), pero me terminó gustando. Si pudiera resumirlo en una palabra lo calificaría como "simpático".

Dato curioso: El autor es cantante de música country y parece un personaje de Tiger King.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book that is hard to describe. It's a book about profound things that mean nothing. It's a book about actually living life yet it's not about that either. I greatly enjoyed huge portions of this book but section seemed tact on in someways. Probably due to recency bias on my part but it feels like the aeneid iit s great in parts but incomplete. The outline is there and huge sections are filled in but in the end it is still empty. A shiny rusted tin star.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been a while since I read a Kinky Friedman novel, so I picked this one up. I'm not sorry I did. A non-writing writer, Walter, encounters two colorful characters by the names of Clyde and Fox. Shortly, Walter falls off the wagon and into a whole lot of mischief - but at least it's gotten him writing again, so it can't be all bad, right? Only time will tell..

[Kate McDougall Sackler · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, there goes some time I will never get back. How did this book get published? This is a sh*tty book about a sh*tty author writing a sh*tty book and with the help of a few friends, trying to take down “the man”. I am pretty sure this author got really stoned and wrote this book. Give it a miss.
Number reading challenge: 2

[Judy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kinky sure knows how to turn a phrase, create quirky characters, and insert inappropriate humor. However when you insert paragraph after paragraph of it, it loses its impact and even gets tedious. This is not his best work.

[Matthew Hattersley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bought this with trepidation as I used to love Kinky but some of the reviews below are less than positive. But am glad to say I really enjoyed it. If you know Kinky and like his work already I'd say this is worth a read. Its not a long read but its a page turner.

[Gabriella Van Belle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review is not based on the writing. It's based 100% on the fact that this story was too realistic and painful to enjoy (for me). Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned is an excellent book for someone who wants the inequities and sadness of the world to be highlighted and then...THAT'S IT!

[Miss Nessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a Kinky Friedman fan...

[Elsie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Friedman's offbeat worldview in this novel within a novel makes you wonder how much of what he writes is fiction and how much is non-fiction. The title makes total sense after reading the book.

[Charley Rolen · Rating 5 out of 5]

shocking conclusion

[John Kruse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny well written book. A great read.

[Karen Curran · Rating 4 out of 5]

too funny!

[Luke Christenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Crazy read