Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself: growing up is a wonderful thing to do

by Charlotte Eriksson

"A modern day vagabonding beat poet, a possible love child of Patti Smith and Jack Kerouac."

Signed copies available at: www.CharlotteEriksson.com/newbook

The 4th book from Swedish songwriter & author Charlotte Eriksson is a narrative journey from a lost and wandering youth, trying to find a place in the world, to slowly growing into a peaceful meditation on the joys of growing up, changing and befriending yourself. We get to follow a young woman, consciously creating herself, striving towards an adult self.

"Where are our heroes?" she asks. "Where are our role models? Why are we leaving youth behind and laughing at the ones who are still there? Why not help each other out instead? with a little grace. with a little compassion. Love for all and everyone around because we’re all stumbling or succeeding back and forth, every day, and I want more community. I want helpers and guidance. Am I helping someone?"

Charlotte helps by documenting her struggles, inner journeys and outer experiences, and she helps by sharing them with the world as boldly and bravely as she does.

"We’re all going through the same journey of growing from kids to teenagers to young adults to somewhat adult—to maybe a little calmer, to even more calm, and some lose their ways here but I want to speak up about it and hear that we’re all on the same journey. We’re all on the same road but it feels like everyone’s ashamed of walking this road so everyone’s looking down, trying not to be seen, pretending their feet are steady and not stumbling."
________________

Love does the job. travelling too. writing does it. music.
Also art, whisky, dark-coloured flowers and watching the landscape change in October. Driving on a small road somewhere in Italy with a beautiful boy and I don’t want to be anywhere else in the whole wide world than right there, with him, that very car, smiling.

But I close my eyes for one second and the moment is gone. I’m back to getting high on empty roads somewhere in Sweden and I’m the loneliest girl in the whole damn world and I just want all things beautiful. I just want the music, the literature, the art and the moments of driving in a car with a beautiful boy in Italy.
but here, alone, I have no cares in the world.

I have no cares in the world. I just want it all to be beautiful.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction

139 pages, Paperback

Published July 1, 2018

About the author

Charlotte Eriksson (The Glass Child) is an author, songwriter, dreamer and wanderer from Sweden, but is currently living somewhere in Europe. She has published five books of prose and poetry, telling stories of growing up, searching for a home, life on the road and learning how to bloom in solitary places. Her books have been widely shared and embraced by like-minded communities such as To Write Love On Her Arms, The Artidote, Wordporn and The Good Quote, wracking up hundreds of thousands of likes, shares and comments on each post. Writings and poems from the books have been published on sites such as Thought Catalog, Rebelle Society, Bella Grace Magazine and Open Minds Quarterly.

"I believe in writing your own story, and that's what I'm doing here. Do you wait for things to happen or do you make them happen yourself?"

You can read more about Charlotte's books and music on her website: http://www.CharlotteEriksson.com

And you can follow Charlotte's writings and journey on:
- http://www.instagram.com/justaglasschild
- http://www.charlotteeriksson.com/writ...

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I'm messy and I'm organized and I'm still trying to piece my own self together. I can't sleep at night because how could I close my eyes when there's a whole world out there, calling my name, waiting to be explored. I love intelligent conversations while laying on empty streets at 5am in the morning, and I love watching the sun rise over a world that is still asleep. I make mistakes and I mess up a lot, but I'm trying to learn how to be okay with that. Some days I couldn't care less about what all of you think about my art because this is my life and all I have. But then there are days when all I want is to be beautiful and good enough and someone to count on. Someone to like and love and believe in. I just really want to mean something to someone.
I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I'm still alive. I laugh a lot and I believe in the beauty in small things, like the coffee in the morning with someone you love, road-trips to nowhere and oceans. People fascinate me because I can't seem to understand them, and they rarely understand me. The way they can live and breathe and simply be, when I can't even look myself in the mirror without questioning every line. I remember every single word from conversations and I have a whole box of unsent letters to myself and every person I've ever met.

When I was 18 I moved all on my own from my home in Sweden to London to create the life I wanted to live and find the person I wanted to be. After a year in solitude with my mind and my music, I packed light and spent a year homeless on the road, dedicating my life to my art and music, determined to tell the world about it. I went everywhere and nowhere. Spent nights on the concrete, had beautiful conversations with strangers and walked foreign streets every day. I learned how to build my home in my music and my art. When I sing or write, I'm not scared anymore. I just want to mean something to someone because every person I meet mean the world to me and I just wish to belong. I just wish to be me and be loved for that. I still don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way, and I'm giving my life to this journey. I wanted to turn my life into art, my very existence into a poem. It might not always be easy, but it will always be beautiful.

Reviews

[Julia Sapphire · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25

[Beth McCallum · Rating 2 out of 5]

i understand & appreciate what this book is trying to do. i just don't think it did it that well.

two stars for the beauty that this book captured, and the handful of beautiful phrases, lines and sections. i think this book could help some people, and could inspire. the author is very honest with her experiences and i think if you are in the creative industry, it's worth a go. i did feel like there were some things i related to and that could possibly slightly shift my thinking if i were not already strong in my own.

however, i had so so so many issues with this book, particularly the style of it. it is non-fiction, first person perspective from the author herself, told through 'diary entries', 'poems' and 'short stories'. i put all these in quotes because i'm just not sure that's what they were.

first of all, were the diary entries from an actual diary? if so, i don't know anyone who keeps a diary that writes in such long drawn out blurbs. maybe they were written on a computer and then put into this book. second, the poems didn't read like poems. they started maybe as a poem and then shifted into some kind of prose, often the topic totally unrelated. and the short stories, they were again, just long rambles from the author, twisting and turning as she went on, struggling to follow a linear line.

the style of the book made it an effort to read & the flow interrupted. i had a lot of eye-rolling and sighing reading this book, not sure what was coming next, not sure what kind of 'poem' i was reading, not sure what these 'short stories' were trying to articulate. the author tends to jump all over the place, within only a few sentences. she says stuff that usually isn't that original or eye-opening, words we've seen all over twitter and tumblr. i suppose that's what a lot of millenial literature and self help books will be like...

on the topic of the writing, it was sometimes beautiful, but mostly plain and usually always repetitive. that will probably be due to her being a songwriter and being allowed to repeat lines a thousand times within 3 minutes but it. does. not. work. in. prose. it just doesn't so please don't do it. once or twice throughout a book is fine but in almost every section, lines, words, phrases are repeated twice or more and it's so amatuer.

examples:
"i miss a lot of things...
but i also wouldn't change a single thing."

"... words that felt like home
and i'm being met with open arms and people who invite me home,
...
i feel love and loved; warmth towards all
and i wouldn't change a thing. i got it all.
...
i'm so happy. i'm so happy."

it just feels like nobody edited it. the last journal entry was written in april 2018 and the book was recently published so that's not a lot of time to edit, reflect, edit, share with someone, and edit again. let alone go through a publishing process. it feels like the author wrote her diary entries and then literally put them into word, got the book bound and sent it out. it NEEDS edited. i will literally edit it if you want haha.

i like a lot of things she says, i just don't like how they're said. because usually, it doesn't keep my attention or inspire me. it's not said in an unfamiliar way.

a lot of things felt realistic, too, and the author often writes in second person which made me so tired because i was constantly told, 'you do this', or 'you will do that', and i'm like NO I DON'T, no one does. for example: "you will choose a new name', or 'you will sip coffee in secondhand cups'. Okay, first of all - not many people get a new name when they travel and second, what coffee shop gives out SECONDHAND CUPS? it sounds artsy and cool but that's just not hygenic.

another thing that happened so often was for a section to start well about one topic and then end very vague or about another topic altogether. it is obvious that this book didn't have a plan going into it which is fine for your own diary, but it doesn't work well for a published book because people, that don't know you at all and don't have a rooted care for you, are going to read it. we NEED to care, we need to learn to care about the author or 'character' having known nothing about you but i just didn't...

i have one section entitled 'passive naivete' where my notes in the book include: 'makes zero sense', 'i just can't follow', and 'what? are? you? saying?'. There is so many lines that start with 'Anyway' or 'I no longer see it like this' or 'So', as if she NEEDS to just randomly change topic and flow because she hasn't planned what she wanted to say.

I also thought this book was full of really BAD advice in some places, including when something bad happens, being told 'There's nothing you can do about it.' Well, yes, there always is. Maybe you can't change the situation but you can DO something. You aren't just going to sit there and breathe it all in. or another thing was that she constantly wished people were happy with someone else, in relationships. the theme of romantic relationships popped in and out all the time, in random random ways. but why? why should we be conditioned to think we need someone else? singlehood is a great thing.

the book did get better towards the end and there were two or three pages i marked to read back later, and i really liked the section about creating your own career instead of following the paths already laid out. that was nice.

but if someone asked me what this book was about, i would have absolutely no idea. it didn't consistently follow the theme within the title. it jumped from being about travelling, to music, to careers, to inner monologues, to random anecdotes, to being about boys with not one, not two, not even fifty overall messages but many more and that made it very difficult to read and follow and entertain.

i'm sorry for my ranting review but it just angers me when you can clearly see someone is a good writer who didn't get the book edited detail for detail, because most of the issue i had with it could have been entirely eliminated with some good editing. editing IS the art of writing.

[Franziska (booksandpeonies) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It will always be spring again. There will always be a new day. - Eriksson

First of all, I wanted to thank the author for sending me a copy of her beautiful book.

When I received the email if I would like to read Everything changed when I forgave myself by Charlotte Eriksson, I totally fell in love with the cover and the story behind the book. I personally enjoy personal growth books because I feel like you can always take something with you for yourself.

And that was the case with Charlotte Eriksson’s book. I loved that she included questions in her story which made you think and ask yourself what your answer would be. A lot of times I could relate to her feelings, thoughts and answers and sometimes it almost felt like a meditation she was trying to do with you.

The book made me feel very hopeful and I loved seeing the author grow as a person from the beginning to the end.

You’ll find lots of beautiful poems, which you want to paint on your wall and her writing style is very good to understand, which is always important to me since I am not a native speaker.

All in all, I would recommend Everything changed when I forgave myself by Charlotte Eriksson to everyone who likes poetry and is looking for a well written, personal growth book with lots of beautiful poems and who wants to finish a book with a hopeful, happy mind.

My rating: 4/5 stars

[Chloe (thelastcolour) · Rating 5 out of 5]

2018 has been a very tough year for me. There have been so many ups and downs, more downs than up quite recently and when Charlotte reached out to me to read and review her book, I believed that maybe her words could soothe my aching heart. And they did.
I read this slowly, to allow the words to soak in and touch the dark places of my heart. Some parts i didn't connect with but i connected with the majority of this book, so much that it hurt. I found myself dog earing many, many pages and will make a note of my favourite quotes in my journal to refer back to when i need them most.
I am looking forward to talking about this book in instagram and capturing it with some flowers for my feed.
If you are hurting or are in need of some inspiration, don't hesitate to pick this book up.
Thank you, Charlotte, for your existence.

[Laetitia Haegemans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even ontprikkelen 's avonds met deze eindelijk eens door te lezen. Vaak herkenbaar, inzichtvol, kwetsbaar, op een poëtische manier. Helpt met stilstaan bij jezelf, ook al leidt ze als zangeres en schrijfster een totaal ander leven als jonge dertiger, ze durft naar de kern te gaan en da's mooi.

[Nicola Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will be one of those books that I think I will return to again and again because it resonated so strongly with me. This will sound crazy, but I feel as though I was reading about a version of me from a parallel universe: I related to so much of it. I felt like I was reading an old journal, from a time I couldn't remember. I loved it. I loved the personal journal entries, mixed with poetry and questions. Lots of questions. I loved it.

[Maryann Gestwicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes, I feel like a lost woman in this vast world too. Reading about this self-discovery journey you are on, made me want to rediscover who I am with personal growth. Poems and Essays that I liked: XX X, Your Constellation, Flickers, Music On The Moon, The Break-Up, Reflection, Sometimes, Stay, Love With Wholeness, Anxiety, I'm Trying As I Always Will, Hope, No Witness But The Moon, Nature, The Start of Everything, A Stillness In My Troubled Mind, Evening Prayer, Natural Spectacle.

[Shelby Fallin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because of an ad I saw on Instagram and ordered this and their most recent work. I’ll start with the positives. The lesson or message is inspiring for creatives like me. It shows we are creative and that our path is not always linear. I really appreciate that as I’m nearly 24 and I’m feeling that I’m just now starting to get back on track with my creative path. I relate to that so much. Also, there are some beautiful lines in this book, I highlighted a couple of them because they spoke to me and I definitely will return to them when I want inspiration and motivation for myself.

The only part I didn’t like about the collection is that I felt like the author was being open, but maybe not open enough. I understand the concept of leaving and moving, but I wanted to understand the why. The what happened in childhood that made her leave home at 16 and follow a dream. What caused the flakiness and selfishness as the author describes herself. I just feel like the book needed more, just more to understand the girl we were reading about to have a stronger message.

The author is obviously a writer and a true creative, I just think maybe a little revision, a little more rawness would have given this even more to the book. My rating is a 3.75 stars because I enjoyed it, and I’ll be revisiting the highlighted parts but it’s not my favorite book. However, I think this author has so many more places to go and travel and learn. I’m a writer too, and we’re all growing. Who’s to say my pieces aren’t like this? We learn from constructive criticism so I hope my review was kind, but honest. Much love to all.

[Kirstylaura]

Never a dull moment reading a book my Char has so passionately put together, whether your listening to her music or taking an adventure through her book pages, you don’t feel like your just reading a book, you feel like your deep in a conversation with Char and it’s like she’s chilling with you. So many praises I have about this book and recommend you all read it ❤️

[Chantal · Rating 5 out of 5]

You have writers and poëts and story tellers. Then you have Charlotte, she all of that and more!! She is so unique! I promiss you, when you have read this book or one of her other books, you'll understand! The way she writes, tells her story's...makes you feel, makes you think! It's just amazing! I know everyone can relate to her story's in a way. So go read and let me know, did you feel it too??

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so much more than just words, its a life thats depicted in stunning shapes of literature that come out of the book and impact upon your own life. Charlotte's writing is so personal and relatable, a real poet of this generation to notice.

[Lina V · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inspiring book, brings so much hope and some kind of happiness in my everyday life. The style is non fiction, so it can be a little odd sometimes if you’re not used to it. I’m used to it, I love it.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book!
The words are so right for your heart and soul. ♡

[headoverbook · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is for everyone who seems a little lost, and you should definitely read it if you're feeling like you haven't seen the stars in the sky for some time.

[Aria Kumin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, starting another one like it. Short and deep, almost poem like. Helps with feeling more centered and more present with myself.

[Laura Barber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obsessed with Charlotte and her writing. Find her so relatable and these small glimpses into her mind are so affirming.

[Julie Patterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a beautiful and touching book from Charlotte Eriksson. She is such a beautiful and talented writer and it’s so hard to stop reading her books. I absolutely love this book💕💕💕