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The Siege #3
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be read by itself, but for those who like endings it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to World Fantasy Award-winning author K.J. Parker’s acclaimed sequence of novels that began with
Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City
and continue with
How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It
.
This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequences of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him.
It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars, and the man responsible.
This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequences of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him.
It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars, and the man responsible.
350 pages, Paperback
First published January 11, 2022
137 people are currently reading
2415 people want to read
About the author
K.J. Parker
133 books1,637 followersK.J. Parker is a pseudonym for Tom Holt.
According to the biographical notes in some of Parker's books, Parker has previously worked in law, journalism, and numismatics, and now writes and makes things out of wood and metal. It is also claimed that Parker is married to a solicitor and now lives in southern England. According to an autobiographical note, Parker was raised in rural Vermont, a lifestyle which influenced Parker's work.
According to the biographical notes in some of Parker's books, Parker has previously worked in law, journalism, and numismatics, and now writes and makes things out of wood and metal. It is also claimed that Parker is married to a solicitor and now lives in southern England. According to an autobiographical note, Parker was raised in rural Vermont, a lifestyle which influenced Parker's work.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 308 reviews
August 30, 2023
Just fun from start to finish. It has a very unique writing style and humor that may not work for everyone, but boy oh boy did it work for me! Full review coming soon...
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June 18, 2024Right, so this world is a sort of alt-ancient world, primarily Mediterranean, with lots of direct analogies including quotes. In the first two books it's established that the warring nations have different skin colours. This felt fairly awkward in the first books, and this installment basically just...made it worse. (The people are mostly referred to as 'milkfaces' and 'blueskins' rather than white and black/brown in the earlier books; here the generally hated and awful Robur people are directly called black--though NB that most people in the book are generally hated and awful, this is KJ Parker.)
I don't know what the point of this was, when the one thing you can say about the ancient Mediterranean was that you didn't need to bring skin colour into it: people were perfectly happy to kill one another on the basis of nationality or religion. (Also, I don't think mixed-race people were mentioned, which seemed implausible because if you're close enough to fight you're close enough to bonk.)
At best this was massively awkward and discomfiting for no gain I could see. Which is regrettable because it's an otherwise really interesting series that looks at classic war situations including sieges and religious cults and spins them through. I loved the way this shows the rise of a religion entirely based on lies and has you end up kind of believing. Lots of clever stuff. I also noticed the introduction of people bidding for battlefield salvage rights, which was clearly the germ of the superior Saevus Corax trilogy.
Basically I feel like the racial aspect either needed proper digging into or leaving alone. Because you can't write a book that explicitly draws analogies with the modern world along all sorts of axes and then introduce race stuff and not expect readers to draw analogies with the modern world and ask what point you're trying to make. And if you're not trying to make a point, then why do it?
I don't know what the point of this was, when the one thing you can say about the ancient Mediterranean was that you didn't need to bring skin colour into it: people were perfectly happy to kill one another on the basis of nationality or religion. (Also, I don't think mixed-race people were mentioned, which seemed implausible because if you're close enough to fight you're close enough to bonk.)
At best this was massively awkward and discomfiting for no gain I could see. Which is regrettable because it's an otherwise really interesting series that looks at classic war situations including sieges and religious cults and spins them through. I loved the way this shows the rise of a religion entirely based on lies and has you end up kind of believing. Lots of clever stuff. I also noticed the introduction of people bidding for battlefield salvage rights, which was clearly the germ of the superior Saevus Corax trilogy.
Basically I feel like the racial aspect either needed proper digging into or leaving alone. Because you can't write a book that explicitly draws analogies with the modern world along all sorts of axes and then introduce race stuff and not expect readers to draw analogies with the modern world and ask what point you're trying to make. And if you're not trying to make a point, then why do it?
April 21, 2022
Old Echmen proverb: when falling off a high tower, try to fly. You never know your luck and what’ve you got to lose?
Felix, a translator with the Robur embassy in the Imperial Palace of the Echmen, starts the novel by explaining to the reader that his name means ‘lucky’ . Just how lucky he is you can imagine from the fact that he may very well be the last Robur alive in the world, after the rest of his compatriots are wiped out in two disastrous military campaigns that were described in the previous two episodes of the ‘Siege’ series by K J Parker.
My name is Felix. It means lucky: there’s irony for you.
While the rest of the Robur embassy is exiled/sentenced to death [nobody liked the arrogant Robur when they were at the peak of their imperial conquests], Felix is spared by being adopted as a pet by the Hus embassy, in recognition of his saving their barbarian princess from a death penalty by spotting a translation error. The Hus have no more use for Felix than the Echmen who pretend he has become invisible on the endless corridors of the imperial palace. With a lot of free time on his hands, years and years worth of it, Felix decides to learn how to fly. What has he got to lose?
Being a ghost is a pretty miserable existence, but a ghost with the Echmen Imperial library at his disposal would probably resent the time he’d wasted on being alive.
Having just finished another epic novel dedicated to libraries by Anthony Doerr, I can re-affirm my admiration for how much better and more entertaining K J Parker is at building his argument in favour of reading. You want to conquer the world in a matter of months? No problem! All the answers you need can probably be found in one of the millions of books the Echmen have gathered in one place. Fortuitously, I’d read a book. is the leitmotif of this third episode, just as solving every problem with an engineering solution was in the first one and role-playing all your stage productions on the canvas of reality was in the second.
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Once upon a time there were three empires ... is how the story goes. And then Felix entered the scene and the rest is history [or his story]. The Robur, the Echmen and the Sashan have carved the known world between their mighty armies, with little regard for the smaller nations whose only role was to be swallowed up and assimilated. Each Empire totally ignored the hordes of savages on the northern borders, the Dejauzi, who were too busy fighting among themselves to bother their neighbours. The Hus are one of these wild, nomadic Dejauzi who mistrust strangers and prefer to fight against their fellow savages. Until one day when Felix and his Luck are about to receive an important nudge.
“It’s pretty straightforward. The Echmen are going to build a wall, from Mount Gana to the sea, to keep the savages out. They need the Hus to build it for them. The Hus and a lot of other people, naturally.”
Our lone Robur survivor is suddenly in demand at the palace for translating the ultimatum the Echmen give the Hus nation for indentured servitude in their infrastructure project. We all know that such a wall must be built by the aggrieved nation across the border, the one it is destined to defend you against. Right? That’s irony for you.
The years spent reading forgotten ancient books in the Imperial library are about to pay off, big time. Felix seizes his chance and elopes with the Hus princess, extricates her savages from the forced labour camp and heads into the desert to unite the rest of the Dejauzi against their common enemy, the Echmen.
Cannibalism aside, the Cure Hardy are an amiable bunch, musical, kind to strangers and with a great sense of humour, though they tend to be sore losers at organized sports.
All Felix has to do is to keep the Dejauzi nations from killing each other as they come together in war congress and point them in the right direction. A few military improvements in their weaponry and in their tactics will come in handy, but what he really needs is a miracle that could make them listen to the lone Robur.
Lady Luck bestows its favours on those who come prepared. Fortuitously, our man has read a book or two on the subject. Whatever misfortune happens to those surrounding the person who hogs all the available Luck to his person is not really his responsibility.
>>><<<>>><<<
The ensuing military campaign is a long series of careful planning brought short by unforeseen developments, but it will eventually justify the novel’s title. These three ancient empires are all giants with feet of clay, made vulnerable by their own arrogance and by their resistance to change, to new ideas. Ironically, the new ideas deployed by Felix are all to be found in ancient texts, reinforcing the concept of history as a wheel of time. What goes around, comes around. But one can never go home, just as one cannot swim twice in the same river water.
“It’s like I’m locked inside a building and the only way to get out is to smash down all walls and scramble out over the rubble. I ask you, though. What the hell else could I have done?”
So, Felix lost his translator job, then he lost his Robur compatriots, followed by his Hus sponsors in the Imperial Palace. You can probably understand why he might have felt a tad insecure about his future, but few people will land on the solution that in order to be safe you need to be the top dog and to rule the known world. Either by military acumen or by religious indoctrination. And since the goal excuses the means, Felix has no scruples about lying his way to the top.
According to orthodox doctrine, you need three major miracles to qualify as a recognizable prophet. Two only makes you especially blessed of God. One miracle and you’re just another smartarse.
Military victories against impossible odds add to the aura of mystery surrounding Felix, an image that he carefully builds up by arranging the needed miracles in advance. Which brings me to the high point of the novel for me, the catch that transforms each episode in the series into something more than black humour and points back at the world as we experience it today.
“The truth’s the truth, that’s its defining quality. Either a thing’s true or it isn’t. But tell me this. If I don’t believe in a thing and everybody else in the whole wide world does, what then?” He smiled. “A thing is true because we believe it. If we stop believing, it stops being true.”
“We stop believing because new evidence comes along.”
“You think that? How sweet. No, really it’s all about fashion, like hairdos and hemlines and tassels on cushions. We believe something because people we think are really cool tell us it’s true. Then we shape the evidence to fit, like a blacksmith bending iron. Or we just believe because the truth is so self-evident it needs no proof, and no proof can shake our belief.”
>>><<<>>><<<
What do Orhan the bridge engineer, Notker the drama actor and Felix the translator have in common? Well, they are all Robur and they try to survive in a world gone mad, a world where the City – symbol and anchor of the nation modelled on old Constantinople – is destroyed. Each of these men was pushed into his role by external circumstances, each of them reluctant to take on the role of leader of men and shaper of history. Each of them is only in search of a place of safety, of home defined as everywhere on earth except for the one place, the place I originally came from.
Where do we go from here? Is the series finished? I know the author has a grand concept of this fictional universe that includes continents, countless nations and millennia of history that is somehow consistent from one novel to another, but once you have conquered the world, how can you raise the stakes any further?
Well, we can always have the Martians attack, and find a Robur enclave with a Robur underdog somewhere in the wilderness to fight back in a sort of all new Star Wars franchise. I hope somebody at Disney will contact K. J. Parker for a synopsis.
I use words carefully, and between translation and interpretation there’s a sliver of difference, as thin as a knife’s blade. Very thin, but it’s amazing the difference a knife can make.
All the intended consequences in my life have turned to shit and all the unintended ones have turned to gold. Everything I’ve touched I’ve translated, into one thing or the other.
December 15, 2021
Getting through all three of these Siege books has been a real pleasure. In each of these, we get to see a different aspect of life and profession but even though the times aren't the same, the wider world is.
Above all, the main first-person characters are nicely droll and ironic. Their meteoric rise from truly humble beginnings is a delight. The way each of them gains their fame is both quirky and amusing.
In this particular book, we get away from a humble engineer or a poverty-ridden stage actor and live a life of a lucky, but minor translator for a distant embassy who just happens to survive his nation's ruin and his boss's suicide.
From there, it just gets wacky cool, jumping from an impossible situation to a life of book-reading pleasure to being welcomed by cannibals to becoming a prophet and then the supreme leader. You know, normal, obvious stuff that happens to all us academic types. :)
I had a great time. It's light epic fantasy, with all the humor AND the twisty plots and huge battles, wrapped into one.
Above all, the main first-person characters are nicely droll and ironic. Their meteoric rise from truly humble beginnings is a delight. The way each of them gains their fame is both quirky and amusing.
In this particular book, we get away from a humble engineer or a poverty-ridden stage actor and live a life of a lucky, but minor translator for a distant embassy who just happens to survive his nation's ruin and his boss's suicide.
From there, it just gets wacky cool, jumping from an impossible situation to a life of book-reading pleasure to being welcomed by cannibals to becoming a prophet and then the supreme leader. You know, normal, obvious stuff that happens to all us academic types. :)
I had a great time. It's light epic fantasy, with all the humor AND the twisty plots and huge battles, wrapped into one.
November 1, 2021
This is the third in the author's "Siege" trilogy about the Robur, the "barbarians" and the rest of the world; another first-person tale, this time from Felix a Robur translator at the court of the Echmen who inadvertently saves a young princess of the Hus from execution when he points out to the Echmen authorities that she is not a Dejauzi hostage to be killed for some treaty violation, but a Hus (similar ethnic and linguistic group but totally different culturally and enemies of the main Dejauzi tribes; for people not in theme with KJ Parker's jargon, the Robur are the analogue of the Byzantines, the Sashans of the Persians, the Echmen of the Chinese and the Hus/Dejauzi of steppe barbarians).
Of course soon after, the news about the (supposed) extermination of the Robur (see Volumes 1-2) arrives to the Echmen court leaving the Robur diplomats there as people without a country at the mercy of their hosts, while the Echmen person in the street doesn't particularly like them (big understatement) so death by stoning are the best the Robur can expect; however Felix ("lucky") lives up to his name as the Hus diplomatic delegation feels the need to sort of save his hide by making him an honorary Hus, only for one of Echmen's long term plans, namely enslaving the Hus to build a huge wall across their steppe border to keep the Dejauzi and similar nomads raiding their northern border, comes due, so Felix' happy time among the Hus at the Echmen court (happy because he was completely ignored so could do as he wished within limits) also comes to an end and he has to think fast on his feet to save the princess (again - his attachment to her being of course "platonic" for practical reasons that had to do with his exile to the Echmen court), himself, maybe the Hus and even maybe whatever Robur are still in existence...
Of course, that may entail conquering the known world as the title says...
Lots of dark irony, a page-turner, a great ending both to the book and to the trilogy (with a "modern" epilogue discussing what happened next), and again KJ Parker at his best
Of course soon after, the news about the (supposed) extermination of the Robur (see Volumes 1-2) arrives to the Echmen court leaving the Robur diplomats there as people without a country at the mercy of their hosts, while the Echmen person in the street doesn't particularly like them (big understatement) so death by stoning are the best the Robur can expect; however Felix ("lucky") lives up to his name as the Hus diplomatic delegation feels the need to sort of save his hide by making him an honorary Hus, only for one of Echmen's long term plans, namely enslaving the Hus to build a huge wall across their steppe border to keep the Dejauzi and similar nomads raiding their northern border, comes due, so Felix' happy time among the Hus at the Echmen court (happy because he was completely ignored so could do as he wished within limits) also comes to an end and he has to think fast on his feet to save the princess (again - his attachment to her being of course "platonic" for practical reasons that had to do with his exile to the Echmen court), himself, maybe the Hus and even maybe whatever Robur are still in existence...
Of course, that may entail conquering the known world as the title says...
Lots of dark irony, a page-turner, a great ending both to the book and to the trilogy (with a "modern" epilogue discussing what happened next), and again KJ Parker at his best
March 17, 2025
Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City [5/5 stars!]I’m so glad I read this trilogy. The first book was the strongest, but there’s so much good stuff in the rest of it that I still recommend the entire thing highly.
How to Rule and Empire and Get Away with It [4/5 stars]
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World [4/5 stars]
Series Rating: 4.3/5 stars!
The writing voice and style choices are always what strike me first when I start a Parker novel, convincing me it’s written by someone who knows all the rules masterfully enough to break them with flair. Everything from the construction of the series as a whole to certain ways he drops in backstory – it’s all so good I feel like I need to read it again to pick up on the even subtler things I missed. Add to all of that a deeply funny infusion of dry humor, and you have novels that fire on all cylinders in my wee brain.
Felix’s story was interesting, cleverly written, and abundant with “keep reading to find out more” mechanisms that had me engrossed. Each MC POV so far has had a particular talent that lends itself to the plot, and Felix’s eclectic ones were especially fun, adding a nice variety to the story.
One of the most compelling things about this trilogy was finding out how he was going to tie the whole series together. Books 2 & 3 start out seemingly unrelated, but slowly start to show their connections. I will say the way in which they relate ended up being a bit looser than I was hoping for, but ultimately the journey of discovery was worth the effort.
Also did I mention it was funny? Perhaps not quite as funny as the first book, but overall I’ve read this entire trilogy with a constant edge of amusement (kind of like with a Pratchett book, only darker), which is a big part of why I enjoyed it so much. I genuinely can’t wait to read more from this author. Consider him a new Obsessive Bookseller favorite!
This is one of those series you read for a certain vibe/mood, and I’m hoping to find more of this specific craving in his other works (good thing he has so many!). Another good comparison is that it reads like a more jovial version of Abercrombie. Who knew grimdark would end up being the types of books that tickle me the most? Maybe it has something to do with the contrast of so many darker moments making the smidgen of light and hope shine through all the brighter. Or perhaps I just relate to it more – when everything’s gone to shit, you may as well laugh.
Recommendations: read at least the first book, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, as it’s the strongest (and I think it would be just fine as a stand-alone). However, if you’re even a fraction as delighted with it as I was, I think you’ll like the rest of the trilogy too. But seriously that first book -> a must read!
Thank you to my Patrons: Dave, Katrin, Frank, Jen, Sonja, Staci, Kat, Betsy, Eliss, Mike, Elizabeth, Bee, Tracey, Dagmara, and Poochtee! <3
Find me on Booktube at: The Obsessive Bookseller
Via The Obsessive Bookseller at www.NikiHawkes.com
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January 26, 2022
When it comes to K.J. Parker's writing, I'm not a fan. I'm a believer. Sure, not everything he writes is excellent, and sometimes he reuses the same plot points to write a story. Still, I always have a great time reading Parker's books. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is no exception. I loved it - it made me laugh and appreciate a cynical but insightful view of the world.
This time we follow Felix, a member of the Robur race, who works as a translator for the Echmen empire. He enjoys books and peaceful life. But alas, Parker has other plans for him. When armies wipe out the Robur race, Felix joins the Hus' ambassador, who owes him for saving the life of his princess. Unfortunately, shortly after, the Echmen kill the Hus king and enslave his people. Felix decides to save a group of people he doesn't actually like. Not an easy task - he must unite the Hus with their enemy, the Dejauzi, and find a way to defeat the Echmen empire. How you may ask? Well, inventing a religion and becoming a prophet is a good start.
Felix's bold plans and cynical view of the world are always entertaining. He idolizes no one and knows that if you want to do something right (even if it's conquering the world), it's better to do it yourself. And so he decides to fight the war to end all wars.
The pacing is excellent and the twists are legion. Add to that Felix's unreliable narration and you get a tremendously entertaining and darkly humorous romp. Like most Parker heroes, Felix has no strict moral code. So readers should ask themselves: what does he really want?
The Siege is a series of loosely connected books. You don't need to have read the previous volumes to understand, follow, and appreciate the story. However, if you read the books in order of publication, you can enjoy certain nuances. Besides, they're fun, and why deprive yourself of a good time?
I'll read anything Parker writes. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is an excellent, darkly humorous, and an insightful story I'll happily revisit in the future. Highly recommended!
Additional note: I've listened to the audiobook version and had a great time listening to it. Ray Sawyer captured the tone of the book perfectly.
This time we follow Felix, a member of the Robur race, who works as a translator for the Echmen empire. He enjoys books and peaceful life. But alas, Parker has other plans for him. When armies wipe out the Robur race, Felix joins the Hus' ambassador, who owes him for saving the life of his princess. Unfortunately, shortly after, the Echmen kill the Hus king and enslave his people. Felix decides to save a group of people he doesn't actually like. Not an easy task - he must unite the Hus with their enemy, the Dejauzi, and find a way to defeat the Echmen empire. How you may ask? Well, inventing a religion and becoming a prophet is a good start.
Felix's bold plans and cynical view of the world are always entertaining. He idolizes no one and knows that if you want to do something right (even if it's conquering the world), it's better to do it yourself. And so he decides to fight the war to end all wars.
The pacing is excellent and the twists are legion. Add to that Felix's unreliable narration and you get a tremendously entertaining and darkly humorous romp. Like most Parker heroes, Felix has no strict moral code. So readers should ask themselves: what does he really want?
The Siege is a series of loosely connected books. You don't need to have read the previous volumes to understand, follow, and appreciate the story. However, if you read the books in order of publication, you can enjoy certain nuances. Besides, they're fun, and why deprive yourself of a good time?
I'll read anything Parker writes. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is an excellent, darkly humorous, and an insightful story I'll happily revisit in the future. Highly recommended!
Additional note: I've listened to the audiobook version and had a great time listening to it. Ray Sawyer captured the tone of the book perfectly.
January 18, 2022
Loved it. This author is one of my ‘must reads’ when a new book of his appears and it didn’t disappoint. In some ways it’s a very easy read. Story telling in a simple style; no timeline jumping around, just first person narration by an apparently ordinary but intelligent guy, who’d love to live out his life buried in a large library but finds, through circumstances, that the world needs sorting out, and that’s down to him. As usual, all the dry wit, poignancy and cynicism that this author often exhibits in his stories.
In fact, this is the final part in a trilogy that I wasn’t originally expecting. The first volume was my introduction to, and is my favourite by the author, and my recommendation to friends new to him; Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City. The story of a colonel in an engineering regiment of the Robur Empire who reluctantly has to defend the capital after an overwhelming invasion by ‘barbarians’. The second volume, How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It continues the story of the siege and sort of concludes it. This final volume takes place some distance from the previous books, when a minor Robur diplomat, Felix, stationed in the capital of another grand empire, sees the consequences of his homeland being disrupted.
In many ways it’s not the sort of story I often go for. You only really get to know the one character, the narrator, and even he is not the deepest individual. It’s nice that he doubts whether he’s in control or being used. He tries to do the decent thing but, well, circumstances get in the way… The other characters we meet are also, though not always, decent, intelligent people but, well, circumstances force their hands. I like how he contrasts how civilised peoples and barbarians view each other. Anyone living outside of civilisation, especially the organised cities and towns, are savages to those in the empire; for the ‘savages’, usually rural farmers or nomads, how could anyone stand to be holed up in unhygienic, stone cities, not knowing how to feed themselves from the land?! I find more sympathy with the barbarians and savages, if only their deep tribal rivalries just didn’t get in the way.
In the end I enjoyed a meandering story where you’re taken anecdotally down lots of rabbit holes, as the story twists and turns through the range of peoples and cultures that Felix meets, and the events that unfold. No magic too.
Another common feature of Parker’s writing is that he often offers an excursion into some technical historical research he’s done. Over a wide range of his books I’ve learnt about casting bronze statues, siegecraft, engineering workshop practises and making weapons, constructing timber buildings and more besides. All in some detail. In this one not so much, but I now know more about archery and composite bows!
The book even finishes with a nice epilogue of a few pages where a future historian looks back on the stories within the trilogy and tries to sort fact from fiction.
I guess this book could be read as a stand-alone but really I’d recommend starting with volume 1, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City which is an excellent book anyway if you haven’t read it.
5* for this and also the series. Definitely a re-read option one day in the future.
In fact, this is the final part in a trilogy that I wasn’t originally expecting. The first volume was my introduction to, and is my favourite by the author, and my recommendation to friends new to him; Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City. The story of a colonel in an engineering regiment of the Robur Empire who reluctantly has to defend the capital after an overwhelming invasion by ‘barbarians’. The second volume, How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It continues the story of the siege and sort of concludes it. This final volume takes place some distance from the previous books, when a minor Robur diplomat, Felix, stationed in the capital of another grand empire, sees the consequences of his homeland being disrupted.
In many ways it’s not the sort of story I often go for. You only really get to know the one character, the narrator, and even he is not the deepest individual. It’s nice that he doubts whether he’s in control or being used. He tries to do the decent thing but, well, circumstances get in the way… The other characters we meet are also, though not always, decent, intelligent people but, well, circumstances force their hands. I like how he contrasts how civilised peoples and barbarians view each other. Anyone living outside of civilisation, especially the organised cities and towns, are savages to those in the empire; for the ‘savages’, usually rural farmers or nomads, how could anyone stand to be holed up in unhygienic, stone cities, not knowing how to feed themselves from the land?! I find more sympathy with the barbarians and savages, if only their deep tribal rivalries just didn’t get in the way.
In the end I enjoyed a meandering story where you’re taken anecdotally down lots of rabbit holes, as the story twists and turns through the range of peoples and cultures that Felix meets, and the events that unfold. No magic too.
Another common feature of Parker’s writing is that he often offers an excursion into some technical historical research he’s done. Over a wide range of his books I’ve learnt about casting bronze statues, siegecraft, engineering workshop practises and making weapons, constructing timber buildings and more besides. All in some detail. In this one not so much, but I now know more about archery and composite bows!
The book even finishes with a nice epilogue of a few pages where a future historian looks back on the stories within the trilogy and tries to sort fact from fiction.
I guess this book could be read as a stand-alone but really I’d recommend starting with volume 1, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City which is an excellent book anyway if you haven’t read it.
5* for this and also the series. Definitely a re-read option one day in the future.
January 3, 2024
Pabeidzu Siege triloģiju. Šoreiz darbība norisinās tāltālās zemēs, robūru sūtņi saņem vēsti, ka viņu impērija ir zudusi. Viņ u pārstāvniecība atrodas tādā kā vietējās pasaules Ķīnā. Te neviens svešinieks tā nevar uzturēties Imperatora pilī , jo likums paredz visus ārzemniekus nogalināt. Un līdz ko nav valsts tā sūtņu nogalina. Bet mūsu galvenajam varonim paveicas, viņš var dzīvot pilī apmeklēt tās bibliotēku un mācīties.
Visas šīs sērijas grāmatas bez robūru impērijas apvieno spriedumi par vēsturiskajiem pagrieziena punktiem. Cik lielam ir jābūt akmenim, lai izraisītu lavīnu. Grāmatas galvenais varonis ir šis akmens un lavīnu viņš izraisa pēc paša vēlēšanās. Ņemot vērā, ka šī ir varoņa paša rakstītā grāmata, lai gan daži vēsturnieki to apstrīdz. Tad varonis mums ir visgudrākais, visapķērīgākais un kas pats galvenais vispieticīgākais. viņš jau neko nedara, lietas notiek pašas no sevis.
Ja ir lasītas sērijas iepriekšējās grāmatas, tad nav iemesla neizlasīt šo, ja vēl nav lasīta šī sērija iesaku pamēģināt vismaz pirmo, lai saprastu vai patīk autora stils un notikumu izklāsts. 10 no 10 ballēm, izcils sērijas noslēgums.
Visas šīs sērijas grāmatas bez robūru impērijas apvieno spriedumi par vēsturiskajiem pagrieziena punktiem. Cik lielam ir jābūt akmenim, lai izraisītu lavīnu. Grāmatas galvenais varonis ir šis akmens un lavīnu viņš izraisa pēc paša vēlēšanās. Ņemot vērā, ka šī ir varoņa paša rakstītā grāmata, lai gan daži vēsturnieki to apstrīdz. Tad varonis mums ir visgudrākais, visapķērīgākais un kas pats galvenais vispieticīgākais. viņš jau neko nedara, lietas notiek pašas no sevis.
Ja ir lasītas sērijas iepriekšējās grāmatas, tad nav iemesla neizlasīt šo, ja vēl nav lasīta šī sērija iesaku pamēģināt vismaz pirmo, lai saprastu vai patīk autora stils un notikumu izklāsts. 10 no 10 ballēm, izcils sērijas noslēgums.
January 14, 2022
Synopsis: We follow the improbable quest of translator Felix, on his way from suddenly being the last of all Robur (read: Byzantines) at the court of the Echmen (read: Chinese) emperor, savior of the barbarian people called Hus (read: Mongolians), founding a new religion, becoming a prophet, to conquering the empire of the Echmen and then of the rest of the world.
Felix inadvertently saves a young princess of the Hus from being executed by the Echmen by pointing out a translation error.
The Echmen are extremely focused on paperwork and procedures, and when they find out that the Robur people have been extinguished (as described in the previous two volumes of this trilogy), there is no need for a Robur embassy anymore. Felix's boss and colleagues are killed and only he is spared, because he's adopted by the Hus out of gratefulness. That's how he became entangled with their fate.
The next step is that the Echmen want to build a huge Wall (read: the Chinese Wall) at their border, and they need people for doing the job. It's only logical that they slaughter the Hus leadership and enslave the Hus people. This leaves the princess as the queen. Felix has to rescue her once again out of the palace.
One might think, that all this rescuing sets up the two for a big romance. But the author has different plans for Felix. First of all, he isn't up to the task of romancing around anymore, caused by reasons which led to his exile at the Echmen court. Secondly, the princess is one hell of a young adult.
Review: This is the third book in the Siege trilogy, which started with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, where snarky and nerdy Orhan rescued the Robur city from invasion, followed by How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It featuring professional liar Notkar playing the game of "Sudden Emperor".
I wouldn't recommend reading this novel as a standalone, because there are several tight references especially at the end of this book to the other two. Also, and this is already a summary of this book, I enjoyed the first novel far better than this one.
In general, the story has the author's trademark elements. A snarky, funny first person protagonist stumbling through one difficulty after the other on his implausible crazy journey. The quasi-mediaeval world, almost but not exactly resembling our own. No magic at all. A fast flowing plot with lots of funny moments. In contrast to the other two novels, this one isn't bounded with a close environment like the walls of the City, but opens up to the whole world. Yes, you will have armies shuffling around in strategical and tactical movements, battlefield tricks playing out, and you will get to know several different kinds of people, including the Swiss.
A lot of these battles and tricks are references to history, and neither Felix nor the author shy away:
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, plagiarism is practically a declaration of love.
While this standard recipe usually works very well for me, I had several issues this time, lessening my reading experience:
I didn't like the main protagonist like I loved Orhan from book one. Where Orhan was a petty criminal turned capable savior, Felix is far too often a self-centric, blithering, unsympathetic person. I could very well feel with sidekick talking to Felix: "I've met some real arseholes in my time [...] but you're something else, you know that? You're so full of shit I don't knwo how you live with yourself."
at the start of each chapter, there always was a longer excursion from the main plot, often with some info dump. I found my mind wandering which is always a bad sign, before jumping back to the story. To cite Felix commenting about himself: "it's like they say in medicine, the dose makes the poison. Unfortunately, I come with the story. You want one, you're goint to have to put up the other."
Felix's story and the overall story of the Robur didn't come to a final conclusion, and the ending was a letdown for me.
I also understand that there are reviewers who had issues how Parker addressed and embedded PoC in his three books. If you're sensitive, you might want to avoid this book.
Those were minor issues, and overall I liked the book, just not in the way of the first two, and I would still recommend it. If you've read the first two, you won't want to miss this concluding book, anyway. It was good for many giggles with its deadpan humor, and it's a really fast-paced read.
Felix inadvertently saves a young princess of the Hus from being executed by the Echmen by pointing out a translation error.
The Echmen are extremely focused on paperwork and procedures, and when they find out that the Robur people have been extinguished (as described in the previous two volumes of this trilogy), there is no need for a Robur embassy anymore. Felix's boss and colleagues are killed and only he is spared, because he's adopted by the Hus out of gratefulness. That's how he became entangled with their fate.
The next step is that the Echmen want to build a huge Wall (read: the Chinese Wall) at their border, and they need people for doing the job. It's only logical that they slaughter the Hus leadership and enslave the Hus people. This leaves the princess as the queen. Felix has to rescue her once again out of the palace.
One might think, that all this rescuing sets up the two for a big romance. But the author has different plans for Felix. First of all, he isn't up to the task of romancing around anymore, caused by reasons which led to his exile at the Echmen court. Secondly, the princess is one hell of a young adult.
Review: This is the third book in the Siege trilogy, which started with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City, where snarky and nerdy Orhan rescued the Robur city from invasion, followed by How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It featuring professional liar Notkar playing the game of "Sudden Emperor".
I wouldn't recommend reading this novel as a standalone, because there are several tight references especially at the end of this book to the other two. Also, and this is already a summary of this book, I enjoyed the first novel far better than this one.
In general, the story has the author's trademark elements. A snarky, funny first person protagonist stumbling through one difficulty after the other on his implausible crazy journey. The quasi-mediaeval world, almost but not exactly resembling our own. No magic at all. A fast flowing plot with lots of funny moments. In contrast to the other two novels, this one isn't bounded with a close environment like the walls of the City, but opens up to the whole world. Yes, you will have armies shuffling around in strategical and tactical movements, battlefield tricks playing out, and you will get to know several different kinds of people, including the Swiss.
A lot of these battles and tricks are references to history, and neither Felix nor the author shy away:
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, plagiarism is practically a declaration of love.
While this standard recipe usually works very well for me, I had several issues this time, lessening my reading experience:
I didn't like the main protagonist like I loved Orhan from book one. Where Orhan was a petty criminal turned capable savior, Felix is far too often a self-centric, blithering, unsympathetic person. I could very well feel with sidekick talking to Felix: "I've met some real arseholes in my time [...] but you're something else, you know that? You're so full of shit I don't knwo how you live with yourself."
at the start of each chapter, there always was a longer excursion from the main plot, often with some info dump. I found my mind wandering which is always a bad sign, before jumping back to the story. To cite Felix commenting about himself: "it's like they say in medicine, the dose makes the poison. Unfortunately, I come with the story. You want one, you're goint to have to put up the other."
Felix's story and the overall story of the Robur didn't come to a final conclusion, and the ending was a letdown for me.
I also understand that there are reviewers who had issues how Parker addressed and embedded PoC in his three books. If you're sensitive, you might want to avoid this book.
Those were minor issues, and overall I liked the book, just not in the way of the first two, and I would still recommend it. If you've read the first two, you won't want to miss this concluding book, anyway. It was good for many giggles with its deadpan humor, and it's a really fast-paced read.
January 15, 2022
4.25
In my opinion, the best of the trilogy. Better pacing and doses of humor.
A page-turner with a lot of funny, twisty plots.
In my opinion, the best of the trilogy. Better pacing and doses of humor.
A page-turner with a lot of funny, twisty plots.
December 6, 2022
Another funny book to complete the trilogy. I have loved this series and enjoyed this book, perhaps not quite as much as the first two, but it still had the trademarks that make Parker’s work so entertaining. Many thanks to Netgalley for an arc of this book.
January 19, 2022
In this last book of "The Siege" series, we see the outcome of the fall of the Robur Empire from the perspective of a Robur former soldier now translator, living and working in the Echmen Empire. Felix, our main character, has a sarcastic, droll way of speaking and seeing the world. (Incidentally, he also seems to have quite the luck.....)
Felix is doing his job, minding his own business, when two things happen that shake his world: 1) he saves a young woman, a high-ranking Hus (a group within the larger nomadic group of Dejauzi people) from execution, and 2) the Robur empire falls, brought down by some massive, unknown army.
Felix is out of a job, and thanks to She Stamps Them Flat (the woman he saved from execution), he's taken in by the Hus. Felix spends the next three years translating for the Hus, and reading everything he can get his hands on in the Echmen palace library. And thinking.
Eventually, Felix intuits the Echmen have nefarious designs on the Dejauzi, and he uses his connection to She Stamps Them Flat, and his understanding of history, to set plans in motion against the Echmen Empire. From there, it’s one incredibly “lucky” victory after another, rallying people with his knowledge (and lies), winning seemingly unwinnable battles against vastly better equipped armies, and becoming known and revered as a prophet, much to Felix’s discomfort. We also get to see what happened with one of the characters in book two, which was a nice surprise.
I have really enjoyed each instalment of this amusing series about war and unexpected, unconventional methods to achieve victories made by unconventional heroes. Felix, like his two predecessors in the series, has luck on his side, but also, because of his unusual background and deep reading, sees connections between things and different ways of handling situations than others around him. I laughed, was surprised, and was impressed with the just plain cool things K.J. Parker did in this book. And loved how important reading was in each of the three books.
So the moral of the series: 1) know your history. And, this one is critical: 2) libraries are the best (just ask Orhan, Notker and Felix.)
Thank you to Netgalley and to Orbit Books for this ARC in exchange for my review.
Felix is doing his job, minding his own business, when two things happen that shake his world: 1) he saves a young woman, a high-ranking Hus (a group within the larger nomadic group of Dejauzi people) from execution, and 2) the Robur empire falls, brought down by some massive, unknown army.
Felix is out of a job, and thanks to She Stamps Them Flat (the woman he saved from execution), he's taken in by the Hus. Felix spends the next three years translating for the Hus, and reading everything he can get his hands on in the Echmen palace library. And thinking.
Eventually, Felix intuits the Echmen have nefarious designs on the Dejauzi, and he uses his connection to She Stamps Them Flat, and his understanding of history, to set plans in motion against the Echmen Empire. From there, it’s one incredibly “lucky” victory after another, rallying people with his knowledge (and lies), winning seemingly unwinnable battles against vastly better equipped armies, and becoming known and revered as a prophet, much to Felix’s discomfort. We also get to see what happened with one of the characters in book two, which was a nice surprise.
I have really enjoyed each instalment of this amusing series about war and unexpected, unconventional methods to achieve victories made by unconventional heroes. Felix, like his two predecessors in the series, has luck on his side, but also, because of his unusual background and deep reading, sees connections between things and different ways of handling situations than others around him. I laughed, was surprised, and was impressed with the just plain cool things K.J. Parker did in this book. And loved how important reading was in each of the three books.
So the moral of the series: 1) know your history. And, this one is critical: 2) libraries are the best (just ask Orhan, Notker and Felix.)
Thank you to Netgalley and to Orbit Books for this ARC in exchange for my review.
December 19, 2022
And nice light, engaging read in this entertaining pseudo-classical Mediterranean setting. Like the previous installments, this book is told first person through the unique perspective of a book worm and interpreter in this case (it was an engineer and actor in the first tow installments). I appreciate how each protagonists'' professional training informed how they approached problems and the world. A bit breezy, not getting too much into the weeds of various events, but that made for a swift read that I appreciated. If you have enjoyed the series thus far this one will continue to scratch that quirky itch.
October 6, 2022
The concluding book of this pseudo-historical fantasy is perhaps the weakest, though still very entertaining and clever. Personally I found the gifted Robur interpreter Felix the least engaging or likeable of our three first person narrators, and the female foil this time around didn't feel like she brought much agency or interest to the proceedings beyond the initial chapters.
October 12, 2023
Excellent. Just excellent 👌
Very strong recommendation from me. Note that each book of the Siege trilogy can be read as a standalone novel 👍
If you are new to KJ Parker here are some external references/points of comparison.
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World has a vibe from the writings of my other favourite - Umberto Eco. It introduces similar themes explored in Foucault's Pendulum (the alchemy of fiction into fact and fact into faith) and Baudolino ("here be dragons" exploration of the world beyond civilisation and how everyone is similar despite their perceived differences).
The book 2 in the series, How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It has a strong affinity with Guy Gavriel Kay's novels Sailing to Sarantium and Lord of Emperors. But also a sprinkle of Before They Are Hanged city under siege action by Joe Abercrombie.
And book 1, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City is kinda pure K.J. Parker. A first-person account of an unreliable narrator-engineer, who through sheer cunning and ingenuity wreaks havoc around him. There is more of the same theme in Savages and Devices and Desires + sequels. It is fun :)
You can make a plunge into K. J. Parker's writing by grabbing any of the Siege books. The only risk - it will be hard to stop.
Very strong recommendation from me. Note that each book of the Siege trilogy can be read as a standalone novel 👍
If you are new to KJ Parker here are some external references/points of comparison.
A Practical Guide to Conquering the World has a vibe from the writings of my other favourite - Umberto Eco. It introduces similar themes explored in Foucault's Pendulum (the alchemy of fiction into fact and fact into faith) and Baudolino ("here be dragons" exploration of the world beyond civilisation and how everyone is similar despite their perceived differences).
The book 2 in the series, How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It has a strong affinity with Guy Gavriel Kay's novels Sailing to Sarantium and Lord of Emperors. But also a sprinkle of Before They Are Hanged city under siege action by Joe Abercrombie.
And book 1, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City is kinda pure K.J. Parker. A first-person account of an unreliable narrator-engineer, who through sheer cunning and ingenuity wreaks havoc around him. There is more of the same theme in Savages and Devices and Desires + sequels. It is fun :)
You can make a plunge into K. J. Parker's writing by grabbing any of the Siege books. The only risk - it will be hard to stop.
November 21, 2024
4.5/5
Really enjoyed this trilogy. Fun witty book nerd translator takes over the world.
Really enjoyed this trilogy. Fun witty book nerd translator takes over the world.
December 28, 2021
3.5 stars, Metaphorosis Reviews
Summary
An unassuming translator in a far capital finds his entire country has been wiped out, and that he himself has only a tenuous grasp on survival. He sets out to make the best of it, and a little more.
Review
I won’t rehash my overall view of K.J. Parker’s approach. I’ve done that in other reviews. Here, I’ll talk only about this book. In addition, this is the third book in a loosely related series, and I’ve not read the first two, but this does function well as a standalone book.
As always with Parker, the writing is excellent, the tone sardonic but appealing, the hero understated but engaging. As is also often the case, but ever more so here, the book is desperately in need of a map. The plot wanders across countries with abandon, especially in the final third, where we cross half a dozen countries in the span of a few pages, none carefully placed, and with no real sense of where in the world we are. The story clearly takes place in Parker’s larger universe, with recognizable nations like the Aram Chantat and Aram No Vei, but his preference for generic names (the City, the Empire) makes it very hard to place anything in context. He clearly recognizes and makes fun of his own tendencies here, but that doesn’t make things easier. (He also alludes in passing to earlier books such as The Fencer and Devices and Desires.)
As typical with Parker, the main joy here is not so much the plot as the journey – following along with the protagonist as he stumbles (or does he) his way through one difficulty after another. Late in the book, Parker raises some larger questions about intent and self-determination, but then drops them without any kind of resolution. The end of the book in general I found to be something of a letdown. Neither the protagonist’s arc nor that of his nation is really concluded; they both simply fizzle out in a disappointing coda.
Well written and engaging without breaking any new ground. Good for Parker diehards and newcomers; less so for casual fans.
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
Summary
An unassuming translator in a far capital finds his entire country has been wiped out, and that he himself has only a tenuous grasp on survival. He sets out to make the best of it, and a little more.
Review
I won’t rehash my overall view of K.J. Parker’s approach. I’ve done that in other reviews. Here, I’ll talk only about this book. In addition, this is the third book in a loosely related series, and I’ve not read the first two, but this does function well as a standalone book.
As always with Parker, the writing is excellent, the tone sardonic but appealing, the hero understated but engaging. As is also often the case, but ever more so here, the book is desperately in need of a map. The plot wanders across countries with abandon, especially in the final third, where we cross half a dozen countries in the span of a few pages, none carefully placed, and with no real sense of where in the world we are. The story clearly takes place in Parker’s larger universe, with recognizable nations like the Aram Chantat and Aram No Vei, but his preference for generic names (the City, the Empire) makes it very hard to place anything in context. He clearly recognizes and makes fun of his own tendencies here, but that doesn’t make things easier. (He also alludes in passing to earlier books such as The Fencer and Devices and Desires.)
As typical with Parker, the main joy here is not so much the plot as the journey – following along with the protagonist as he stumbles (or does he) his way through one difficulty after another. Late in the book, Parker raises some larger questions about intent and self-determination, but then drops them without any kind of resolution. The end of the book in general I found to be something of a letdown. Neither the protagonist’s arc nor that of his nation is really concluded; they both simply fizzle out in a disappointing coda.
Well written and engaging without breaking any new ground. Good for Parker diehards and newcomers; less so for casual fans.
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
November 8, 2022
Quintessential Parker. Or more colloquially: Fucking awesome! He’s still remains my favourite ‘fantasy’ author. (Mr. Holt, sir, please refrain from using contemporary metaphors/references. It takes you out of the story. Jarring like.) Keep em coming!
August 20, 2023
So far, that's the end of a fun series.
As with the previous two, this is easy and quick to read, has a strong voice and definitely has some great snark and observations thrown in, ones that legit made me smile and even laugh at a few.
The character pulling some crazy things out of thin air through shrewdness or downright luck is also back.
These all seem things I really enjoyed, so why not a higher rating?
Overall, it sounded like this was very similar to the same previous stories that I felt I was almost rereading than really reading something new.
The first gripe is about the main character Felix. It's not a matter of him specifically, but how the other two characters were. The engineer of the first, Notker in the second and Felix now, they are basically the very same character. Not in who they are or their backstory or their circumstances, but they have the exact same voice and style, they are basically the same person narrating.
Despite being many years, at least 4 since the first book, and possibly dozens if not hundreds of books between it, the second and this one, this impression seemed very vivid to me.
One thing that's clearly worse than the previous books are the secondary characters. The engineer had the woman who is his contact with the Themes (and the Themes had interesting characters of their own), some woman engineer who saves everyone's asses and so on. Notker has at least Hodda also.
But this book is really just Felix. The most proeminent side character, the Hus girl that shows up at the beginning, not only quickly fades but whenever she shows up is pretty much just to say "Fuck you" whenever she speaks with anyone about anything.
Then there's how the plans happen.
Parker is the only author I know of that uses "randomness" and "luck" without really being contrived and convenient. For example, in The Folding Knife the banker MC wants to mint coins (or something like, it's been many years), but at some point a random gang simply robs the reserves out of nowhere and then they investigate to find out how and why that happened.
These random moments, that also happen in the first two Siege books, feel natural because they don't only happen to help the protagonist but also in ways that screw with their plans. That there are more people out there in the world with their own plans and circumstances that the characters can't ever fully account for.
At the same time, it isn't done in a way that pushes the story forward in a convenient way, as the characters show in these unexpected events who they are or what they can (or can't) do.
This does not happen here at all, well they do, but they aren't as well executed as previously.
When Felix needs or plans something, things happen exactly as he intends them or even better. There's a whole backstory about his plans and how he came about them, sure, but here it feels extremely convenient and they happen because the plot demands it to move things forward.
Whenever he needs something, it feels things just pop out of nowhere in his favor. Sometimes a combination of multiple lucky things.
Even the one moment where it could go wrong, it only actually serves to strengthen his position even more.
I know it sort of ties in with the whole "I'm pretending to be a prophet of a god, of course everything goes my way" theme, but it wasn't exactly thrilling to read it.
And the worst part is that everything happens so fast it really broke my suspension of disbelief. In the span of a few weeks he's basically the god of three major empires and countless other minor places too. And then you realize the Siege in the first two books lasted YEARS, for comparison.
Another glaring contrast: in the first books, despite their best efforts, the two MCs have various people, both allies and enemies, also conspiring to bring them down for various reasons, both personal, petty and practical, while at some point here the MC has the entire world pretty much fawning over him with barely a difficulty.
His "cult" not only is established in a few weeks, it also topples centuries old traditions in various different empires and places even more quickly. Everyone just goes along with it, it's unbelievable.
However, despite all this, the book is really well written, and if you don't mind the voice and style of the narrating looking exactly like the previous two narrators, you'll have a blast (if you also ignore all the conveniences that goes the MC's way all the time).
At some point I was wondering if there was an intention behind this striking similarity of style, I wondered if the whole thing was made up by a single narrator when I thought about it. Let's put it this way:
All three characters pretty much behave and act the same, speak various languages, have to basically impersonate someone they are not, and specially, they become geniouses of various complex positions (general, politician, economist, engineer, etc) by reading a bunch of books and getting incredibly lucky in applying the theories.
Then the epilogue has historians wondering if the account is simply a forgery. That made me wonder even more if indeed not only this account, but the previous two, weren't simply all made up by a single writer and...
Oh. Ohhh. Now I see what you were doing here, Mr. Parker. Very clever! You got me!
As with the previous two, this is easy and quick to read, has a strong voice and definitely has some great snark and observations thrown in, ones that legit made me smile and even laugh at a few.
The character pulling some crazy things out of thin air through shrewdness or downright luck is also back.
These all seem things I really enjoyed, so why not a higher rating?
Overall, it sounded like this was very similar to the same previous stories that I felt I was almost rereading than really reading something new.
The first gripe is about the main character Felix. It's not a matter of him specifically, but how the other two characters were. The engineer of the first, Notker in the second and Felix now, they are basically the very same character. Not in who they are or their backstory or their circumstances, but they have the exact same voice and style, they are basically the same person narrating.
Despite being many years, at least 4 since the first book, and possibly dozens if not hundreds of books between it, the second and this one, this impression seemed very vivid to me.
One thing that's clearly worse than the previous books are the secondary characters. The engineer had the woman who is his contact with the Themes (and the Themes had interesting characters of their own), some woman engineer who saves everyone's asses and so on. Notker has at least Hodda also.
But this book is really just Felix. The most proeminent side character, the Hus girl that shows up at the beginning, not only quickly fades but whenever she shows up is pretty much just to say "Fuck you" whenever she speaks with anyone about anything.
Then there's how the plans happen.
Parker is the only author I know of that uses "randomness" and "luck" without really being contrived and convenient. For example, in The Folding Knife the banker MC wants to mint coins (or something like, it's been many years), but at some point a random gang simply robs the reserves out of nowhere and then they investigate to find out how and why that happened.
These random moments, that also happen in the first two Siege books, feel natural because they don't only happen to help the protagonist but also in ways that screw with their plans. That there are more people out there in the world with their own plans and circumstances that the characters can't ever fully account for.
At the same time, it isn't done in a way that pushes the story forward in a convenient way, as the characters show in these unexpected events who they are or what they can (or can't) do.
This does not happen here at all, well they do, but they aren't as well executed as previously.
When Felix needs or plans something, things happen exactly as he intends them or even better. There's a whole backstory about his plans and how he came about them, sure, but here it feels extremely convenient and they happen because the plot demands it to move things forward.
Whenever he needs something, it feels things just pop out of nowhere in his favor. Sometimes a combination of multiple lucky things.
Even the one moment where it could go wrong, it only actually serves to strengthen his position even more.
I know it sort of ties in with the whole "I'm pretending to be a prophet of a god, of course everything goes my way" theme, but it wasn't exactly thrilling to read it.
And the worst part is that everything happens so fast it really broke my suspension of disbelief. In the span of a few weeks he's basically the god of three major empires and countless other minor places too. And then you realize the Siege in the first two books lasted YEARS, for comparison.
Another glaring contrast: in the first books, despite their best efforts, the two MCs have various people, both allies and enemies, also conspiring to bring them down for various reasons, both personal, petty and practical, while at some point here the MC has the entire world pretty much fawning over him with barely a difficulty.
His "cult" not only is established in a few weeks, it also topples centuries old traditions in various different empires and places even more quickly. Everyone just goes along with it, it's unbelievable.
However, despite all this, the book is really well written, and if you don't mind the voice and style of the narrating looking exactly like the previous two narrators, you'll have a blast (if you also ignore all the conveniences that goes the MC's way all the time).
At some point I was wondering if there was an intention behind this striking similarity of style, I wondered if the whole thing was made up by a single narrator when I thought about it. Let's put it this way:
All three characters pretty much behave and act the same, speak various languages, have to basically impersonate someone they are not, and specially, they become geniouses of various complex positions (general, politician, economist, engineer, etc) by reading a bunch of books and getting incredibly lucky in applying the theories.
Then the epilogue has historians wondering if the account is simply a forgery. That made me wonder even more if indeed not only this account, but the previous two, weren't simply all made up by a single writer and...
Oh. Ohhh. Now I see what you were doing here, Mr. Parker. Very clever! You got me!
January 8, 2022
A couple of years ago, I saw someone who doesn’t usually make a fuss about books raving about K.J. Parker’s Sixteen Way to Defend a Walled City. When I saw it on sale, I bought it, but didn’t get around to reading it. And then I saw A Practical Guide to Conquering the World on NetGalley. I thought, this would be a great motivator to actually read a book already on my kindle! Friends, I really wish I had read the first few pages of Walled City when I bought it. I would have saved myself so much time and unpleasantness. I dnf’d that book so fast. But meanwhile, I had this arc sitting on my kindle and I did not want to read it. I have some other arcs on my kindle that I actually do want to read. I dragged myself through A Practical Guide, and I didn’t enjoy it.
By the way, here is the bit that made me close Sixteen Ways and say no thank you to that:
The narrator, an enslaved person, doesn’t mind being called a “milkface” because he likes milk. Nope. Not going to work for me. Please don’t explain to me that this is a fantasy, I am aware.
I admit that I went in already unimpressed. Early on, the narrator, different from the first book, points out that fat people are gross, but this other culture, to which he is indebted for his life, values fatness because it means wealth. Everyone gets a jaundiced treatment in A Practical Guide to Conquering the World. The narrator uses his knowledge of the frailties and stupidity of other people to save his life and the lives of people he considers ignorant barbarians. Right now, I don’t need any help thinking people are awful. And it was just too much cynicism for me. For someone else, this might be an excellent Machiavellian political fantasy novel.
Anyway, I don’t like not liking a book and I’m pretty grumpy about it.
CW: occasional acts of brutality, including castration.
Thank you to Orbit and NetGalley for the advance reader copy. My opinions are my own.
By the way, here is the bit that made me close Sixteen Ways and say no thank you to that:
“Please note I didn’t come in on the military mail. As Colonel-in-Chief of the Engineers, I’m entitled; but, as a milkface (not supposed to call us that, everybody does, doesn’t bother me, I like milk) it’s accepted that I don’t, because of the distress I might cause to Imperials finding themselves banged up in a coach with me for sixteen hours a day. Not that they’d say anything, of course. The Robur pride themselves on their good manners, and, besides, calling a milkface a milkface is Conduct Prejudicial and can get you court-martialled.”
The narrator, an enslaved person, doesn’t mind being called a “milkface” because he likes milk. Nope. Not going to work for me. Please don’t explain to me that this is a fantasy, I am aware.
I admit that I went in already unimpressed. Early on, the narrator, different from the first book, points out that fat people are gross, but this other culture, to which he is indebted for his life, values fatness because it means wealth. Everyone gets a jaundiced treatment in A Practical Guide to Conquering the World. The narrator uses his knowledge of the frailties and stupidity of other people to save his life and the lives of people he considers ignorant barbarians. Right now, I don’t need any help thinking people are awful. And it was just too much cynicism for me. For someone else, this might be an excellent Machiavellian political fantasy novel.
Anyway, I don’t like not liking a book and I’m pretty grumpy about it.
CW: occasional acts of brutality, including castration.
Thank you to Orbit and NetGalley for the advance reader copy. My opinions are my own.
November 24, 2024
3.5/5
We follow Felix a translator.
This follows a similar theme as the previous books but on a much larger scale as Felix is manipulating and scheming to get himself into a position that he is pulling the strings to run an empire.
This was an enjoyable book and I have really enjoyed my time in this world.
The third book just maybe doesn’t hit the heights of the first two books (book one especially)
The main character for me wasn’t as likeable and I also found the story to not be as engaging.
Definitely worth reading the trilogy if you can gel with the writing style of the first book !
We follow Felix a translator.
This follows a similar theme as the previous books but on a much larger scale as Felix is manipulating and scheming to get himself into a position that he is pulling the strings to run an empire.
This was an enjoyable book and I have really enjoyed my time in this world.
The third book just maybe doesn’t hit the heights of the first two books (book one especially)
The main character for me wasn’t as likeable and I also found the story to not be as engaging.
Definitely worth reading the trilogy if you can gel with the writing style of the first book !
January 23, 2022
Fun, like the whole series, but kinda anti-climactic.. I almost considered pushing it down to a 3-star due to the ending just not feeling satisfying at all for me, but i love the humor and technical mumbo-jumbo enough to keep it at 4.
January 5, 2022
Summary: K.J Parker is a new Terry Pratchett. Felix lost his people but finds new people as he conquers the world and orchestrates a new religion. Don't come for the plot, come for the asides about camels.
You don't need to have read the other Siege books to enjoy this one. I hadn't and I didn't feel like I was missing anything. I love the sardonic, dry humor, asides, and quirkiness of this book and the characters. It's the type of book that's hard to recommend because I think a lot of people might get angry at this book and it seems boring. But here's my advice, it's not about the plot - for the first 30% there's no clear idea what the plot is and even after that, it's a rather meandering, loose plot - or character development. That's not to say the plot or characters are bad, but that's not the point of the book. This book is about other things, and it's about the experience of reading an unreliable narrator who is sharp and cunning and will mislead you and aggravate you but has a lot to tell you in a roundabout way. I really enjoyed this book and want to read some more KJ Parker as soon as possible.
My one con here was that I thought the ending was going to have a little more payoff than it did, but I not convinced that that wasn't intentional.
Thanks to Orbit and Netgalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
You don't need to have read the other Siege books to enjoy this one. I hadn't and I didn't feel like I was missing anything. I love the sardonic, dry humor, asides, and quirkiness of this book and the characters. It's the type of book that's hard to recommend because I think a lot of people might get angry at this book and it seems boring. But here's my advice, it's not about the plot - for the first 30% there's no clear idea what the plot is and even after that, it's a rather meandering, loose plot - or character development. That's not to say the plot or characters are bad, but that's not the point of the book. This book is about other things, and it's about the experience of reading an unreliable narrator who is sharp and cunning and will mislead you and aggravate you but has a lot to tell you in a roundabout way. I really enjoyed this book and want to read some more KJ Parker as soon as possible.
My one con here was that I thought the ending was going to have a little more payoff than it did, but I not convinced that that wasn't intentional.
Thanks to Orbit and Netgalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
December 9, 2021
I must confess that for once Parker’s vast knowledge of ancient history has outstripped my own not inconsiderable smattering. For their own enjoyment, the reader will want to have read the previous two books in the trilogy, as this book continues, albeit on a wider stage, from the supposed fall of the Robur City. However, readers of these previous books will have their favourite narrator (mine was Orhan; if you’ve ever worked in a bureaucratic organisation, where paperwork is more important than the work supposedly being done, then he’ll be yours too) and I think Felix, our new protagonist, is not at all as sympathetic a character as the preceding two. Both Orhan and Notker are archetypical Parker heroes, i.e. reluctant and cynical, but ultimately good hearted and humorous; they are forced by circumstances to help people who despise them, and they do a pretty good job, collateral damage notwithstanding. This theme is carried through most of Parker’s books, and he perfects it with Orhan; even Notker, for all his purported selfishness, commits the occasional unwitting act of true heroism. Felix, though, is a different kettle of fish. Admittedly, since the rumoured destruction of the City, and with it all Robur, he starts as a lonely character: he had originally been exiled to the court of the Echmen as a translator, and now it seems he is the very last of his race. Difficult not to feel sorry for him, you would think, especially when he saves a Hus princess that he could as easily have abandoned to her fate. But something about him grated slightly. Orhan and Notker both had the same callous “can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs” (read: people dying) attitude, but they seemed less self-centred. Even the reason why poor Felix was exiled (and worse) fails to account for the lengths he will go to (with the lives of others) to achieve his aim.
The fact that the previous two books were set in an enclosed world, where the characters had limited choice, whereas here Felix has literally the whole world (and one would be forgiven for thinking he could have taken a slightly less contentious route to survival) sets a different tone, which impacts negatively on the characterisation. Also, Parker’s exhaustive Classical knowledge comes into play, and I think I may need to re-read A Practical Guide, with a large map and a bunch of lead soldiers to move around, as I go through the text, as this book contains far more complex characters and cultures (and less obvious) than previously. That said, this is vintage Parker, and – like all his other books – is one that I will re-read several times over the next few years anyhow. Parker’s superiority as a fantasy author lies not just in his superb attention to historical detail, but in his humour – always deadpan, always highly intelligent, and always with an excellent command of English. And he delights the history geek with the accurate scams/stratagems of his heroes, copied from a variety of real-life leaders and tacticians.
Thank you so much to Edelweiss for the ARC of this book, it was as if Christmas had come early!
The fact that the previous two books were set in an enclosed world, where the characters had limited choice, whereas here Felix has literally the whole world (and one would be forgiven for thinking he could have taken a slightly less contentious route to survival) sets a different tone, which impacts negatively on the characterisation. Also, Parker’s exhaustive Classical knowledge comes into play, and I think I may need to re-read A Practical Guide, with a large map and a bunch of lead soldiers to move around, as I go through the text, as this book contains far more complex characters and cultures (and less obvious) than previously. That said, this is vintage Parker, and – like all his other books – is one that I will re-read several times over the next few years anyhow. Parker’s superiority as a fantasy author lies not just in his superb attention to historical detail, but in his humour – always deadpan, always highly intelligent, and always with an excellent command of English. And he delights the history geek with the accurate scams/stratagems of his heroes, copied from a variety of real-life leaders and tacticians.
Thank you so much to Edelweiss for the ARC of this book, it was as if Christmas had come early!
January 21, 2022
That was a wild ride! I think it was the best book in the Siege trilogy or maybe I am just warming to K J Parker's writing style and sense of humour? It definitely took me a while, because there is nobody else who writes like this author. His sense of humour is as dry as a desert and as biting as an angry dog. I can't say I love his writing... it would be like declaring love to an awkward nerd. Still, it is refreshing to spend some time with such a wise guy, who plays not only with characters he created, but also with a reader by creating the best unreliable narrators I have ever read about. Sarcasm is his deadly weapon and he wreaks havoc beautifully. I am sure there is more of K J Parker in my future.
December 29, 2021
Full disclosure: I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Felix is a translator for the Robur embassy in Echmen. A survivor to the last, he constantly schemes to keep his skin amidst the fraught world of Echmen politics. After word comes that the Robur empire has been destroyed, he becomes attached to the court of the princess of the Hus. Through clever wiles, he gains influence over the Hus and other tribes, and uses it to try to take down the Echmen empire.
I don’t normally review books I don’t like. This is one exception, where I think the book is doing active harm. I was uncomfortable with Parker’s handling of race in the first two books, where the Robur appear to be an analogue of Rome but with black people, facing down the barbarian “milkface” hordes. I suspect he thought he was doing something clever by making black and brown folks the so-called civilized nations and white people the so-called savages, but it was problematically done. It was a clueless white person’s attempt to flip the script; perhaps forgivable to some degree. Here, it gets worse. there are many other obvious analogues to European, Asian, and Middle Eastern ethnic groups, all of which are as stereotyped as possible, complete with slurs and racist jokes. Occasionally, members of these groups are shown to do something surprisingly clever, as if to say, “hey, maybe they’re not all fools!” but the attempt falls flat.
I’ve found K. J. Parker to be a hit-or-miss with me. His clever, self-aware rogues and world-weary everymen are often a delight. Had Parker not chosen to include racist caricatures of various ethnic groups, I think I would have enjoyed this book. It wouldn’t have been a favorite of mine, but I’d be giving it a decent review. I am honestly astounded that A Practical Guide to Conquering the World was this bad, considering that the world in which it is set is pretty well established at this point, what with all of the novels, novellas, and short stories set throughout long spans of in-world time. He’s an established writer who’s had time to build out this setting, with all its messy, absurd geopolitical entities. This is what I’d expect from a young, early career writer with a bad editor. I get that Parker is known for lampooning overly complicated political structures and regulations and pompous officials. That’s great and fun, but it takes a nasty turn when he aims that wit against people and groups that canonically, in text, have experienced oppression from both the Robur and Echmen.
Felix is a translator for the Robur embassy in Echmen. A survivor to the last, he constantly schemes to keep his skin amidst the fraught world of Echmen politics. After word comes that the Robur empire has been destroyed, he becomes attached to the court of the princess of the Hus. Through clever wiles, he gains influence over the Hus and other tribes, and uses it to try to take down the Echmen empire.
I don’t normally review books I don’t like. This is one exception, where I think the book is doing active harm. I was uncomfortable with Parker’s handling of race in the first two books, where the Robur appear to be an analogue of Rome but with black people, facing down the barbarian “milkface” hordes. I suspect he thought he was doing something clever by making black and brown folks the so-called civilized nations and white people the so-called savages, but it was problematically done. It was a clueless white person’s attempt to flip the script; perhaps forgivable to some degree. Here, it gets worse. there are many other obvious analogues to European, Asian, and Middle Eastern ethnic groups, all of which are as stereotyped as possible, complete with slurs and racist jokes. Occasionally, members of these groups are shown to do something surprisingly clever, as if to say, “hey, maybe they’re not all fools!” but the attempt falls flat.
I’ve found K. J. Parker to be a hit-or-miss with me. His clever, self-aware rogues and world-weary everymen are often a delight. Had Parker not chosen to include racist caricatures of various ethnic groups, I think I would have enjoyed this book. It wouldn’t have been a favorite of mine, but I’d be giving it a decent review. I am honestly astounded that A Practical Guide to Conquering the World was this bad, considering that the world in which it is set is pretty well established at this point, what with all of the novels, novellas, and short stories set throughout long spans of in-world time. He’s an established writer who’s had time to build out this setting, with all its messy, absurd geopolitical entities. This is what I’d expect from a young, early career writer with a bad editor. I get that Parker is known for lampooning overly complicated political structures and regulations and pompous officials. That’s great and fun, but it takes a nasty turn when he aims that wit against people and groups that canonically, in text, have experienced oppression from both the Robur and Echmen.
January 26, 2022
This is an utterly fantastic trilogy that should be read in order.
Here the author kind of switches away from The City that features in the first two books and gives us Felix, a smart young man who is a translator in the very ordered empire of Echmen. As he is a foreigner he has low status and is at the mercy of changing views and politics. Through luck, judgement and cunning he ends up escaping as part of a revolution where he becomes a key advisor and eventually a religious figure. Will he be clever enough to survive when taking over the world might be his only option? So far, that sounds like a standard fantasy novel, but not with this author and this trilogy.
It’s a witty delight as the author undermines so many fantasy tropes here along with the stupidity of structure and arrogance. It’s clever and, like the previous books, laugh out loud at times. It does eventually link very cleverly to the previous books, just when you wondered if it was just set in the same world.
Perhaps not quite as inventive as the previous two books (the fact that Felix is well read, but nobody else seems to be) doesn’t detract from a solid end to the trilogy. Absolutely loved this series, I have bought the first book many times to gift to people as in “you must read this” and that’s how I would summarise the whole trilogy…You must read this.
Here the author kind of switches away from The City that features in the first two books and gives us Felix, a smart young man who is a translator in the very ordered empire of Echmen. As he is a foreigner he has low status and is at the mercy of changing views and politics. Through luck, judgement and cunning he ends up escaping as part of a revolution where he becomes a key advisor and eventually a religious figure. Will he be clever enough to survive when taking over the world might be his only option? So far, that sounds like a standard fantasy novel, but not with this author and this trilogy.
It’s a witty delight as the author undermines so many fantasy tropes here along with the stupidity of structure and arrogance. It’s clever and, like the previous books, laugh out loud at times. It does eventually link very cleverly to the previous books, just when you wondered if it was just set in the same world.
Perhaps not quite as inventive as the previous two books (the fact that Felix is well read, but nobody else seems to be) doesn’t detract from a solid end to the trilogy. Absolutely loved this series, I have bought the first book many times to gift to people as in “you must read this” and that’s how I would summarise the whole trilogy…You must read this.
February 22, 2022
Well-crafted and clever, as you'd expect, but after the previous two I found this a bit samey. I've hit several authors in a row recently who expanded on previous volumes in a series, but for me this was just another one from the same formula. Which, I admit, is how many authors get to the deadly "New York Times Bestseller" level, because that's what people seem to want.
Once again, the hero is a Marty Stu, and everything he tries works perfectly. Holt/Parker has the class to point out in the text that this is unlikely, and leaves us wondering just a little whether the Queen of Heaven might actually be helping him.
Credit the author for making Felix a jerk, even if we can see why he might have become one. There are too many Galahads out there already. And a sort of uneasy credit for the reason Felix can't hook up with the heroine.
Once again, the hero is a Marty Stu, and everything he tries works perfectly. Holt/Parker has the class to point out in the text that this is unlikely, and leaves us wondering just a little whether the Queen of Heaven might actually be helping him.
Credit the author for making Felix a jerk, even if we can see why he might have become one. There are too many Galahads out there already. And a sort of uneasy credit for the reason Felix can't hook up with the heroine.
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December 27, 2022I can't consider this a book I actually read, because I skimmed like 75% of it, but the skimming and the 25% of it I did read made me pretty sure I didn't like it. Honestly this whole trilogy was a miss for me, the narrative voice just did not mesh.
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