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Marriage to a Difficult Man: The Uncommon Union of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards
At last the long-awaited reprint of Elisabeth Dodd's 1971 classic on the domestic life of America's most famous theologian, Jonathan Edwards, and his wife Sarah.
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First published January 1, 1971
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July 27, 2022
A fascinating and familiar account of the life of Jonathan Edwards and Sarah Pierrepont Edwards. The author writes in the style of a personally invested family chronicler, sparing no expense in recounting the everyday lives, triumphs, tragedies, and deliverances of what may have been the most interesting family in colonial America. The writing style is easy to read and enjoyable. The narrative does shift forwards and backwards in time quite a bit as the author structures the work around loosely thematized chronology. Much of the focus of the book is on Sarah Edwards, and this was well-deserved. She was clearly a remarkable woman. That said, readers cannot help but pick up on a profile of the life and labors of Jonathan Edwards. The inclusion of source quotations is impressive, and clearly the writer was first a researcher. The only mark against the book is an unsurprising (for its day, being published in the 1970s) attachment to and leveraging of popular psychology and certain Freudian ways of psycho-analyzing historical subjects. These unverifiable psychologizing statements were distracting rather than illuminating.
All that being said, I warmly commend this book to those interested in the Edwardses and/or in colonial America. One ringing lesson is that virtue is more a gift of God’s grace than it is a guaranteed fruit of human effort.
All that being said, I warmly commend this book to those interested in the Edwardses and/or in colonial America. One ringing lesson is that virtue is more a gift of God’s grace than it is a guaranteed fruit of human effort.
January 25, 2018
Fascinating, gripping and so very enlightening on the life of Edwards. The end feels like a Shakespearean tragedy and left me choking back tears. This book is just delightful.
January 23, 2024
I had Sarah Edwards' autobiography on my list, but this became available, so I read it.
It's very interesting and informative and I'm glad I read it, but it's not at all what I expected.
My main issue is that after reading the book, the title feels like click bait.
The focus really isn't on the relational dynamics of Sarah and Jonathan. Even Jonathan's "difficultness" is alluded to in passing more than specifically addressed - although he totally sounds neurodivergent, which would also explain the savant achievements he can claim. If anything, the book seemed to paint their marriage as frequently tender and supportive, as they each individually and together walk through an often difficult life.
The book focuses much more on their family life, life in colonial America, raising their children, the rise and "fall" of Edward's ministry, his role in the Great Awakening, their legacy (children & grandchildren & on), and the historic people & events that the Edwards interacted with (e.g. there's an entire chapter on David Brainerd and another couple chapters about Aaron Burr-not that one-and the establishment of Princeton). All of that was quite intriguing and mostly held together cohesively. It did feel a bit rambling and disjointed at times, as rabbit-trails were taken.
I had a couple other minor beefs with odd conclusions that it seemed the author drew herself vs drew from records.
When Sarah had her breakdown, the author acknowledged previously that it was a "period of physical depletion after childbirth" and she was "overtaxed," and it’s pointed out that in that time many women aged prematurely and had evidences of major nutrient deficiencies because "a wife was expected to be a Spartan," but then Sarah’s episode is called an "emotional crisis" and basically blamed on her being sensitive to social opinions?? What a major disconnect..
It's absolutely encouraging to see Sarah draw theological and spiritual growth from an overwhelming situation like that, but also discouraging to see the author perpetuate that women's very-real physical symptoms are probably caused by emotions.
And if there wasn't enough evidence that her health was a struggle, later (also when she was pregnant) it reads that she "reached the point of fatigue where one breaks fingernails frequently and is inclined to weep at a trivial mishap." Uhm... nutrient deficiency much? But in the next sentence she's accused of a "psychosomatic response" when she gets rheumatic fever?! I know this was written in 1970, but why is the emphasis so much on her emotional "failings" instead of the obvious legitimate health concerns she was facing (that absolutely must've been aggravated by the mental and emotional burdens she carried)?
This apparent belief that emotions are the root cause of all physical ailments in women continues, but with a generational curse, when Sarah has a baby in the midst of her older daughter dying. It says, "How much this ordeal cost Sarah is told in the fact that the baby she had been carrying proved to be her only puny child," a child described as "always frail." This point is reiterated at least once or twice more in the book.
Now sure, there could be a correlation, but it just felt a bit odd and icky how much blame was put on emotional health vs considering the very real factors of physical health.
Anyway, those are moreso sidenotes and far from the bulk of the book. Overall I enjoyed it and am glad I read it. Very eye-opening to life in those days and to details of that very historic time and really to the power of this dynamic couple and the impressive legacy they left. Also, I had no idea before the cause of Jonathan's death and I found that a fascinating part of his life story.
It's very interesting and informative and I'm glad I read it, but it's not at all what I expected.
My main issue is that after reading the book, the title feels like click bait.
The focus really isn't on the relational dynamics of Sarah and Jonathan. Even Jonathan's "difficultness" is alluded to in passing more than specifically addressed - although he totally sounds neurodivergent, which would also explain the savant achievements he can claim. If anything, the book seemed to paint their marriage as frequently tender and supportive, as they each individually and together walk through an often difficult life.
The book focuses much more on their family life, life in colonial America, raising their children, the rise and "fall" of Edward's ministry, his role in the Great Awakening, their legacy (children & grandchildren & on), and the historic people & events that the Edwards interacted with (e.g. there's an entire chapter on David Brainerd and another couple chapters about Aaron Burr-not that one-and the establishment of Princeton). All of that was quite intriguing and mostly held together cohesively. It did feel a bit rambling and disjointed at times, as rabbit-trails were taken.
I had a couple other minor beefs with odd conclusions that it seemed the author drew herself vs drew from records.
When Sarah had her breakdown, the author acknowledged previously that it was a "period of physical depletion after childbirth" and she was "overtaxed," and it’s pointed out that in that time many women aged prematurely and had evidences of major nutrient deficiencies because "a wife was expected to be a Spartan," but then Sarah’s episode is called an "emotional crisis" and basically blamed on her being sensitive to social opinions?? What a major disconnect..
It's absolutely encouraging to see Sarah draw theological and spiritual growth from an overwhelming situation like that, but also discouraging to see the author perpetuate that women's very-real physical symptoms are probably caused by emotions.
And if there wasn't enough evidence that her health was a struggle, later (also when she was pregnant) it reads that she "reached the point of fatigue where one breaks fingernails frequently and is inclined to weep at a trivial mishap." Uhm... nutrient deficiency much? But in the next sentence she's accused of a "psychosomatic response" when she gets rheumatic fever?! I know this was written in 1970, but why is the emphasis so much on her emotional "failings" instead of the obvious legitimate health concerns she was facing (that absolutely must've been aggravated by the mental and emotional burdens she carried)?
This apparent belief that emotions are the root cause of all physical ailments in women continues, but with a generational curse, when Sarah has a baby in the midst of her older daughter dying. It says, "How much this ordeal cost Sarah is told in the fact that the baby she had been carrying proved to be her only puny child," a child described as "always frail." This point is reiterated at least once or twice more in the book.
Now sure, there could be a correlation, but it just felt a bit odd and icky how much blame was put on emotional health vs considering the very real factors of physical health.
Anyway, those are moreso sidenotes and far from the bulk of the book. Overall I enjoyed it and am glad I read it. Very eye-opening to life in those days and to details of that very historic time and really to the power of this dynamic couple and the impressive legacy they left. Also, I had no idea before the cause of Jonathan's death and I found that a fascinating part of his life story.
October 22, 2018
While I had some quibbles with the way her story was told (including the off-putting title), I loved Sarah Edwards herself. She'd not have had a high opinion of me, I'm sure, but that'd rather serve to confirm than to dim my view of her character.
I didn't quite finish in time for book group a couple of weeks ago. I had planned to—got there ahead of time and settled in to read while waiting for the others to arrive—but then I got to the penultimate chapter, and there the other ladies found me...blubbering in public as the Edwards clan started dropping like flies. Their writings in the midst of their grief were deeply moving and deeply faithful.
Last night I finally read the last chapter, which was sad in another way. It followed up on some of Sarah and Jonathan's many of descendants (as of five decades ago when the book was written), and while the evidence of the Edwardses' uncommon natural giftedness abounded, there was less of their spiritual giftedness noted. Part of that was due to their early deaths, and made me realize that one of the great blessings of modern medicine is that most women, at least in the developed world, can expect to survive childbirth, and most parents can expect not only to raise their children, but to know their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well. Sadly, many squander that gift in various ways. There are many other cautions for them, but the caution I saw here was for those who take their parental responsibilities seriously. Part of training up a child in the way he should go is 𝄆 instilling in him that he must train up his child in the way he should got, including 𝄇...till there really are a thousand faithful generations.
I didn't quite finish in time for book group a couple of weeks ago. I had planned to—got there ahead of time and settled in to read while waiting for the others to arrive—but then I got to the penultimate chapter, and there the other ladies found me...blubbering in public as the Edwards clan started dropping like flies. Their writings in the midst of their grief were deeply moving and deeply faithful.
Last night I finally read the last chapter, which was sad in another way. It followed up on some of Sarah and Jonathan's many of descendants (as of five decades ago when the book was written), and while the evidence of the Edwardses' uncommon natural giftedness abounded, there was less of their spiritual giftedness noted. Part of that was due to their early deaths, and made me realize that one of the great blessings of modern medicine is that most women, at least in the developed world, can expect to survive childbirth, and most parents can expect not only to raise their children, but to know their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well. Sadly, many squander that gift in various ways. There are many other cautions for them, but the caution I saw here was for those who take their parental responsibilities seriously. Part of training up a child in the way he should go is 𝄆 instilling in him that he must train up his child in the way he should got, including 𝄇...till there really are a thousand faithful generations.
September 4, 2014
I wholeheartedly recommend this book! It is a well-written, inspiring and enjoyable read from beginning to end. Jonathan and Sarah Edwards' marriage was truly remarkable. As the book progressed, it became very evident to me that the influence they've had on the generations was greatly due to their interdependence on one another.
In the last minutes of his life, Edwards spoke and the words were not about heaven or hell, or about books or theories. He spoke of Sarah:
"Give my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uncommon union which has so long subsisted between us has been of such a nature as I trust is spiritual and therefore will continue forever."
~Chapter XIII, p. 201
The following are two of my favorite excerpts from the book:
"It was a happy circumstance that he [Edwards] could trust everything...to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and with undoubting confidence. She was a most judicious and faithful mistress of a family, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion. While she uniformly paid a becoming deference to her husband and treated him with entire respect, she spared no pains in conforming to his inclination and rendering everything in the family agreeable and pleasant; accounting it her greatest glory and there wherein she could best serve God and her generation, to be the means in this way of promoting his usefulness and happiness."
~Samuel Hopkins, Chapter III, pp. 34-35
"Enough has not been said about the beauty of love in the middle years of life. By such a time in a marriage, the trying habits of one's partner have either been accepted or are no longer noticed, while the precious aspects of the other have become so much a part of the consciousness that they are like leafprints stamped in stone. Memories, both of happy times and of sorrow endured together, are glued into the marriage. The ties between the two people are further fixed by the many years of jokes shared and the common body of experiences. At this stage in a relationship, to come back to the comfortable presence of the other after being out among many people is to be rested and at home. All of this comes only after there has been a profound tie of love. Without the love, the later years in marriage can bring ennui*."
~Chapter XII, p. 162
*a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
In the last minutes of his life, Edwards spoke and the words were not about heaven or hell, or about books or theories. He spoke of Sarah:
"Give my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uncommon union which has so long subsisted between us has been of such a nature as I trust is spiritual and therefore will continue forever."
~Chapter XIII, p. 201
The following are two of my favorite excerpts from the book:
"It was a happy circumstance that he [Edwards] could trust everything...to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and with undoubting confidence. She was a most judicious and faithful mistress of a family, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion. While she uniformly paid a becoming deference to her husband and treated him with entire respect, she spared no pains in conforming to his inclination and rendering everything in the family agreeable and pleasant; accounting it her greatest glory and there wherein she could best serve God and her generation, to be the means in this way of promoting his usefulness and happiness."
~Samuel Hopkins, Chapter III, pp. 34-35
"Enough has not been said about the beauty of love in the middle years of life. By such a time in a marriage, the trying habits of one's partner have either been accepted or are no longer noticed, while the precious aspects of the other have become so much a part of the consciousness that they are like leafprints stamped in stone. Memories, both of happy times and of sorrow endured together, are glued into the marriage. The ties between the two people are further fixed by the many years of jokes shared and the common body of experiences. At this stage in a relationship, to come back to the comfortable presence of the other after being out among many people is to be rested and at home. All of this comes only after there has been a profound tie of love. Without the love, the later years in marriage can bring ennui*."
~Chapter XII, p. 162
*a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
September 29, 2016
The title is misleading. You might expect to read about a man who was not a loving and considerate husband, but that is not the case. Jonathan & Sarah Edwards had a strong and loving marriage, and they impacted the world for great good. He was, however, unique. Sarah, his wife, was what we might call in today's world, a superwoman. I don't know how she did it.
This is the story of their exceptional marriage, but it isn't well written. The author unexpectedly imposes 20th C attitudes and imaginings into the story, which is jarring; it detracts the reader from forming a true impression of Sarah and Jonathan Edwards.
This edition, being a reprint, has footnoted historical corrections.
In the appendices are excerpts of Jonathan Edwards' writings giving a fuller picture of his unusual personality. The tone of his writing is ethereal and extremely wordy. How many ways can you describe the beauty of loving God? For this reader it was a bit exhausting. And for all he said he didn't expound the Scriptures, he only referenced the Scriptures occasionally. Maybe his other writings are more expository.
This is the story of their exceptional marriage, but it isn't well written. The author unexpectedly imposes 20th C attitudes and imaginings into the story, which is jarring; it detracts the reader from forming a true impression of Sarah and Jonathan Edwards.
This edition, being a reprint, has footnoted historical corrections.
In the appendices are excerpts of Jonathan Edwards' writings giving a fuller picture of his unusual personality. The tone of his writing is ethereal and extremely wordy. How many ways can you describe the beauty of loving God? For this reader it was a bit exhausting. And for all he said he didn't expound the Scriptures, he only referenced the Scriptures occasionally. Maybe his other writings are more expository.
November 3, 2021
I don’t like the title and think it’s misleading, but really enjoyed the book itself. Much to learn from Sarah’s life and example of meekness + quiet faithfulness in her various roles. Realistic picture of the hardships of ministry, but also the gift of partnership and sharing those burdens together.
August 1, 2018
According to Dodds, Sarah lent Edwards her copy of Peter van Mastricht's book on covenant theology--so influential on his later thought--while Edwards was courting her. I'm reduced to a puddle by that tidbit.
This book is a bit dated, and it has its moments of speculation and maybe a touch of melodrama, but it doesn't go amiss when telling this family's story. This is a really delightful read, and it made me adore both Jonathan and Sarah, and their marriage, even more. Would definitely read again, and will track down a copy to own.
Favorite line that has a different connotation now than when it was first written: "[Edwards] tried to be less awesome, but it was hard." Indeed.
This book is a bit dated, and it has its moments of speculation and maybe a touch of melodrama, but it doesn't go amiss when telling this family's story. This is a really delightful read, and it made me adore both Jonathan and Sarah, and their marriage, even more. Would definitely read again, and will track down a copy to own.
Favorite line that has a different connotation now than when it was first written: "[Edwards] tried to be less awesome, but it was hard." Indeed.
February 7, 2015
I loved this book. Rich in wisdom with a peek inside the lives of a great couple. As is said that behind every great man is a great woman. It was intriguing to read about the life of Sarah Edwards and what attracted her husband to her. I also was inspired to read about how she managed her household and trained her 11 children. We have lost the depth of learning and education today even among the most educated that was so prevalent in the lives of the Edwards and their children. In the appendices of this book is Jonathan Edwards' resolutions and several excerpts of his own writings.
October 7, 2018
Just as good as Mum said it would be. Despite many dangers, toils, and woes, this book presents a great picture of the domestic partnership that fueled a great family. Sarah Edwards is depicted as a woman of great beauty, organizational skill, intelligence, tact, and devotion to her husband. It’s encouraging to see a biography dedicated to a woman whose husband pursued her as a girl, leaned on her for support of the entire household as an adult, and spoke admiringly of her at his deathbed. He didn’t appreciate and love her for her subservience, he respected her input and she left a great home in the household on rare occasions when she was away.
Mothers, especially if you’re wondering about the legacy you’re leaving behind - your children will show the effects of your training. This book is an encouragement to parents training their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. The world may despise your sacrifice. God will not allow that training to return void. The Edwards family is a snapshot of the power of God’s covenant love throughout history.
Mothers, especially if you’re wondering about the legacy you’re leaving behind - your children will show the effects of your training. This book is an encouragement to parents training their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. The world may despise your sacrifice. God will not allow that training to return void. The Edwards family is a snapshot of the power of God’s covenant love throughout history.
August 8, 2025
A beautiful book about a remarkable marriage and family.
“Every family ought to be…a little church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by His rules.” - Jonathan Edwards
“But my God lives; and he has my heart…We are given to God; and there I am and love to be.” - Sarah Edwards
“Every family ought to be…a little church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by His rules.” - Jonathan Edwards
“But my God lives; and he has my heart…We are given to God; and there I am and love to be.” - Sarah Edwards
January 27, 2015
This is a book on Sarah, the wife of Jonathan Edwards. I thought this was a wonderful book that was a window into the family life of the Edwards and also the larger Puritan world. I know there are many negative stereotypes people have against the Puritans such as the fact that they wore solemn dark clothes and total killjoys but I was blown away at the description of Edwards’ family life that was filled with many joys and laughter. I thought it was interesting that the book described how Puritan brides wore beautiful dress for the wedding and was expected to wear the same dress the following Sunday at church so that the rest of the Congregation could admire the dress for the occasion. Again, this goes against the stereotype that exists in some people’s minds against the Puritans.
As a pastor I thought the book was insightful into the life of a pastor’s wife. The book talked about how strong Sarah was but the author was also honest about Sarah’s struggle. In particular I found it very helpful to see the author discussed the moment in which Sarah Edwards was at her lowest. In the midst of her depression she learned more about God and grew from it. This was wonderful to see in Sarah and made me think about the difficulties a Pastor’s wife faces in fulfilling her responsibilities all the while knowing that people have an expectation upon her. The book was also insightful of the responsibilities of a Pastor’s wife during the Puritan era; in a day and age before Seminary, many young men interested in ministry would find a Pastor to be their mentor and they moved in with the Pastor. That meant there was constantly another mouth for Sarah to feed. This burden increased with the growing fame of her husband.
There were portions of the book in which the author went on an extended discussion that wasn’t focused on Sarah Edwards. For those who are interested in the bigger picture of Jonathan Edwards’ ministry these moments in the book can be quite insightful although I imagine some might find this distracting. I appreciated the book’s discussion about the missionary Adoniram Judson and also Aaron Burr (the father of the infamous Aaron Burr). Both Judson and Burr married Sarah Edwards’ daughters. It is interesting to know about the men of God whom Sarah’s daughters married to and their contribution towards the works of God.
I recommend this book. In my opinion it is especially good for pastors and pastor’s wives to read.
As a pastor I thought the book was insightful into the life of a pastor’s wife. The book talked about how strong Sarah was but the author was also honest about Sarah’s struggle. In particular I found it very helpful to see the author discussed the moment in which Sarah Edwards was at her lowest. In the midst of her depression she learned more about God and grew from it. This was wonderful to see in Sarah and made me think about the difficulties a Pastor’s wife faces in fulfilling her responsibilities all the while knowing that people have an expectation upon her. The book was also insightful of the responsibilities of a Pastor’s wife during the Puritan era; in a day and age before Seminary, many young men interested in ministry would find a Pastor to be their mentor and they moved in with the Pastor. That meant there was constantly another mouth for Sarah to feed. This burden increased with the growing fame of her husband.
There were portions of the book in which the author went on an extended discussion that wasn’t focused on Sarah Edwards. For those who are interested in the bigger picture of Jonathan Edwards’ ministry these moments in the book can be quite insightful although I imagine some might find this distracting. I appreciated the book’s discussion about the missionary Adoniram Judson and also Aaron Burr (the father of the infamous Aaron Burr). Both Judson and Burr married Sarah Edwards’ daughters. It is interesting to know about the men of God whom Sarah’s daughters married to and their contribution towards the works of God.
I recommend this book. In my opinion it is especially good for pastors and pastor’s wives to read.
March 9, 2023
Married to a Difficult Man is a comprehensive history/biography about the Colonial American Puritan pastor, Jonathan Edwards, his wife, Sarah, their children, and the times and places they lived.
THE UNION
The story began with the union of Jonathan and Sarah. Edwards was bookish and studious, and while women were not expected to be educated in the 1700's Puritan world, "Sarah had the best training a girl was allowed to have then." She was a "young lady of quality," and was trained well in many skills. She even practiced good posture for many hours - a lost art. Jonathan may have met his match in Sarah's mind, but he was terribly awkward in the area of social graces.
Nonetheless they discovered their shared love for nature and books, which could be enough to keep any union vigorous; but of course there was more to their union. Sarah would be marrying a minister, and with that came unique obligations and responsibilities. It takes an exceptional woman to wed and stay married to a man of the pulpit, particularly a man who disappeared for long periods of time reading, researching, writing, and traveling.
In addition to his "horrendous" working hours, she had to contend with her husband's not uncommon communications and connections with other women in the church, as "the majority of members in the New England church were women."
To be sure, the author makes a major portion of the book about their love and faithfulness to each other. A family friend recalled how Edwards
could trust everything...to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and undoubting confidence. She was most judicious and faithful mistress, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion.
She uniformly paid a becoming deerence to her husband and treated him with entire respect, conforming to his inclination and rendering everything in the family agreeable and pleasant. She accounted it her greatest glory and there wherein she could best serve God and her generation, to be the means of promoting his usefulness and happiness.
In return, Edwards "treated her as a fully mature being (as a person whose conversations entertained him, whose spirit nourished his own religious life, whose presence gave him repose).
RAISING UP CHILDREN
Sarah and Jonathan were blessed with eleven children. Jonathan believed that
as innocent as children seem to be to us, yet...they are naturally very senseless and stupid, being born as the wild ass's colt and need much to awaken them.
At the end of each day, Jonathan dedicated an hour to his family. He educated his children in church history, Latin, Greek, rhetoric, and penmanship. He listened to their lessons and expected them to compose their own prayers. But it was Sarah who trained them up in godly character and self-discipline.
It is impressive to consider what the sole union of Sarah and Jonathan produced. By 1900, the Edwards family could boast (though they probably wouldn't):
13 college presidents
65 professors
100 lawyers
1 dean of a law school
30 judges
66 physicians
1 dean of a medical school
80 holders of public office
3 U.S. senators
3 mayors
3 governors
1 U.S. Treasury Controller
1 U. S. Vice President
THE REVIVAL
There were two religious revivals under Jonathan Edwards, called The Great Awakenings. The colonial settlements of America had quieted into a lull, bored with religion and suspicious of church structure.
The beginnings of the first Great Awakening, in 1734, had fractured and weakened many churches. There was an emotional fervor taking over the town, and Edwards sought to channel it into sensible discernment. He wrote biblical directions to test if conviction was true or empty emotion. When the effect swung in the opposite course, and people wearied in "despair... [with] a terrifying sense of God's anger," Edwards worked to keep the movement well-grounded in truth. He focused their faith into action.
The second revival in 1740-41, occurred when George Whitefield, the English evangelist, visited America. It was also the same time that Edwards wrote his sermon: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. It fell on deaf ears when he read it to his own congregation; however, some months later as a guest pastor , he read the same sermon, and there it made history. That sermon may well have changed the face of New England.
But with religious revivals, there was a counter: churches further splintered and "religious experience [was] grotesquely distorted by emotionalism." And with it, a host of false teachers led false converts away.
BACK TO SARAH
The most interesting chapter was on Sarah and her nervous breakdown, which led to either her true "conversion" or further growth in her walk with Christ. Sarah struggled internally, particularly after childbirth. "Her disproportionate responsibilities began to overtax her." She was tempted to think the worst of her husband, her children and herself, and she fought to not reveal:
I'm not as endlessly giving as I appear to be, and this is an impossibly difficult man.
As her husband was frequently away, she carried the management of their large household solely on her own, without relief for her own fears or anxieties. She was crushed by the opinions of others in the congregation, of not only herself but also for her husband. The burdens became heavier. She eventually felt she was wrestling with God.
For Sarah, it was a personal Great Awakening, and when she literally came to, she
stopped straining to please God (and man) and began to live in the assurance of a salvation she didn't have to try to deserve. She stopped pushing herself to be worthy of Edwards' love and from then on had his unreserved admiration.
She recalled how she awoke and:
...was led to reflect on God's mercy to me in giving me, for many years, a willingness to die, and after that...in making me willing to live.
BACK TO JONATHAN
Edwards took on the sinfulness of the community, becoming very liberal in his opinions about trivial matters while stepping on some consciences along the way. He commented on his congregations' owning too few books - evidence for a lack of reading. (I mean, truly reprehensible!) The people were tired of Edward's lectures on his angry God. Sarah came to the defense of her husband by writing a long letter to the church membership, but this mattered not. Edwards wore out his welcome. It was 1750. The colonies were in a bad mood, and Edwards was voted out of his congregation and sent packing.
He was relegated to a missionary of the Mohican Nation, where he preached the gospel and taught the people. He maintained good relations with the Indians and also defended their rights to their homeland. This was the time of the French and Indian War, where the Edwardses were very much on the frontline.
UNFORTUNATELY...
There is much more to the story, but I will cut to the end of Jonathan and Sarah. In 1758, a smallpox epidemic was spreading, and Edwards decided to take a chance on the new inoculation. Jonathan and daughter Esther and her children were agreed to be part of the experiment. Unfortunately, they all contracted smallpox from the medical procedure, and Jonathan succumbed to the disease after all.
Sarah "tried to be prepared or any testing that life might require of her." She found ways to cling to and trust in God. While Esther suffered with the pox, Sarah wrote to her daughter about the loss of Mr. Edwards:
A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had [Jonathan] so long. But my God lives; and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband and your father has left us! We are given to God; and there I am and love to be.
Two weeks later, Esther died.
Not long after, Sarah lost the will to live without her life partner and she died of a broken heart.
FINAL WORDS
While reading, I did not fully appreciate the scope of this work until I started to write a review. I left out so much information. There are several more chapters after Sarah death covering the Edwardses' legacy, which continued for over a century and is amazing when you consider how much an individuals and families can do to alter a nation. Even with their failings and blunders, they affected history, a nation and its people for good. If it wasn't for Pfizer the smallpox experiment, how much more would they have accomplished?
I only gave it three stars because I thought the writing could have been better. That was my only pet peeve.
THE UNION
The story began with the union of Jonathan and Sarah. Edwards was bookish and studious, and while women were not expected to be educated in the 1700's Puritan world, "Sarah had the best training a girl was allowed to have then." She was a "young lady of quality," and was trained well in many skills. She even practiced good posture for many hours - a lost art. Jonathan may have met his match in Sarah's mind, but he was terribly awkward in the area of social graces.
Nonetheless they discovered their shared love for nature and books, which could be enough to keep any union vigorous; but of course there was more to their union. Sarah would be marrying a minister, and with that came unique obligations and responsibilities. It takes an exceptional woman to wed and stay married to a man of the pulpit, particularly a man who disappeared for long periods of time reading, researching, writing, and traveling.
In addition to his "horrendous" working hours, she had to contend with her husband's not uncommon communications and connections with other women in the church, as "the majority of members in the New England church were women."
To be sure, the author makes a major portion of the book about their love and faithfulness to each other. A family friend recalled how Edwards
could trust everything...to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and undoubting confidence. She was most judicious and faithful mistress, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion.
She uniformly paid a becoming deerence to her husband and treated him with entire respect, conforming to his inclination and rendering everything in the family agreeable and pleasant. She accounted it her greatest glory and there wherein she could best serve God and her generation, to be the means of promoting his usefulness and happiness.
In return, Edwards "treated her as a fully mature being (as a person whose conversations entertained him, whose spirit nourished his own religious life, whose presence gave him repose).
RAISING UP CHILDREN
Sarah and Jonathan were blessed with eleven children. Jonathan believed that
as innocent as children seem to be to us, yet...they are naturally very senseless and stupid, being born as the wild ass's colt and need much to awaken them.
At the end of each day, Jonathan dedicated an hour to his family. He educated his children in church history, Latin, Greek, rhetoric, and penmanship. He listened to their lessons and expected them to compose their own prayers. But it was Sarah who trained them up in godly character and self-discipline.
It is impressive to consider what the sole union of Sarah and Jonathan produced. By 1900, the Edwards family could boast (though they probably wouldn't):
13 college presidents
65 professors
100 lawyers
1 dean of a law school
30 judges
66 physicians
1 dean of a medical school
80 holders of public office
3 U.S. senators
3 mayors
3 governors
1 U.S. Treasury Controller
1 U. S. Vice President
THE REVIVAL
There were two religious revivals under Jonathan Edwards, called The Great Awakenings. The colonial settlements of America had quieted into a lull, bored with religion and suspicious of church structure.
The beginnings of the first Great Awakening, in 1734, had fractured and weakened many churches. There was an emotional fervor taking over the town, and Edwards sought to channel it into sensible discernment. He wrote biblical directions to test if conviction was true or empty emotion. When the effect swung in the opposite course, and people wearied in "despair... [with] a terrifying sense of God's anger," Edwards worked to keep the movement well-grounded in truth. He focused their faith into action.
The second revival in 1740-41, occurred when George Whitefield, the English evangelist, visited America. It was also the same time that Edwards wrote his sermon: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. It fell on deaf ears when he read it to his own congregation; however, some months later as a guest pastor , he read the same sermon, and there it made history. That sermon may well have changed the face of New England.
But with religious revivals, there was a counter: churches further splintered and "religious experience [was] grotesquely distorted by emotionalism." And with it, a host of false teachers led false converts away.
BACK TO SARAH
The most interesting chapter was on Sarah and her nervous breakdown, which led to either her true "conversion" or further growth in her walk with Christ. Sarah struggled internally, particularly after childbirth. "Her disproportionate responsibilities began to overtax her." She was tempted to think the worst of her husband, her children and herself, and she fought to not reveal:
I'm not as endlessly giving as I appear to be, and this is an impossibly difficult man.
As her husband was frequently away, she carried the management of their large household solely on her own, without relief for her own fears or anxieties. She was crushed by the opinions of others in the congregation, of not only herself but also for her husband. The burdens became heavier. She eventually felt she was wrestling with God.
For Sarah, it was a personal Great Awakening, and when she literally came to, she
stopped straining to please God (and man) and began to live in the assurance of a salvation she didn't have to try to deserve. She stopped pushing herself to be worthy of Edwards' love and from then on had his unreserved admiration.
She recalled how she awoke and:
...was led to reflect on God's mercy to me in giving me, for many years, a willingness to die, and after that...in making me willing to live.
BACK TO JONATHAN
Edwards took on the sinfulness of the community, becoming very liberal in his opinions about trivial matters while stepping on some consciences along the way. He commented on his congregations' owning too few books - evidence for a lack of reading. (I mean, truly reprehensible!) The people were tired of Edward's lectures on his angry God. Sarah came to the defense of her husband by writing a long letter to the church membership, but this mattered not. Edwards wore out his welcome. It was 1750. The colonies were in a bad mood, and Edwards was voted out of his congregation and sent packing.
He was relegated to a missionary of the Mohican Nation, where he preached the gospel and taught the people. He maintained good relations with the Indians and also defended their rights to their homeland. This was the time of the French and Indian War, where the Edwardses were very much on the frontline.
UNFORTUNATELY...
There is much more to the story, but I will cut to the end of Jonathan and Sarah. In 1758, a smallpox epidemic was spreading, and Edwards decided to take a chance on the new inoculation. Jonathan and daughter Esther and her children were agreed to be part of the experiment. Unfortunately, they all contracted smallpox from the medical procedure, and Jonathan succumbed to the disease after all.
Sarah "tried to be prepared or any testing that life might require of her." She found ways to cling to and trust in God. While Esther suffered with the pox, Sarah wrote to her daughter about the loss of Mr. Edwards:
A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had [Jonathan] so long. But my God lives; and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband and your father has left us! We are given to God; and there I am and love to be.
Two weeks later, Esther died.
Not long after, Sarah lost the will to live without her life partner and she died of a broken heart.
FINAL WORDS
While reading, I did not fully appreciate the scope of this work until I started to write a review. I left out so much information. There are several more chapters after Sarah death covering the Edwardses' legacy, which continued for over a century and is amazing when you consider how much an individuals and families can do to alter a nation. Even with their failings and blunders, they affected history, a nation and its people for good. If it wasn't for Pfizer the smallpox experiment, how much more would they have accomplished?
I only gave it three stars because I thought the writing could have been better. That was my only pet peeve.
February 2, 2014
As advertised, this is one of the richest treatments of Edwards, especially in getting to know him, his personality, his family, his doings--and not just what he believed. It is such a well-regarded book that I feel badly by not lighting up another star.
I understand why she did it, but I did not love how Dodds inserted so many extras in the text, especially pertaining to emotions. I believe Dodds did really good research (I'm not sure why so many of these things were hidden from me for so long), but I also more than a lot of times felt myself wondering, "how in the world can she know this?" or feeling annoyed that she was saying more than the research probably found.
If I had been marking up the book, I would have made notations that would be useful in recounting some illustrations of this, but I read most of this in December and just came back for the last chapters this past week. Spoiler: He dies in the end.
It's a really good book, and it's a must-read for those who want to know JE. #wowwhattaguy!
I understand why she did it, but I did not love how Dodds inserted so many extras in the text, especially pertaining to emotions. I believe Dodds did really good research (I'm not sure why so many of these things were hidden from me for so long), but I also more than a lot of times felt myself wondering, "how in the world can she know this?" or feeling annoyed that she was saying more than the research probably found.
If I had been marking up the book, I would have made notations that would be useful in recounting some illustrations of this, but I read most of this in December and just came back for the last chapters this past week. Spoiler: He dies in the end.
It's a really good book, and it's a must-read for those who want to know JE. #wowwhattaguy!
February 8, 2009
I love the title of this book! ("Difficult" obviously merits a more traditional definition than our modern minds gravitate towards (negatively)). Read this and be challenged on your views of the meaning of commitment, loyalty, affection and sacrifice within the covenant of marriage. I thought this was a descriptive, poignant and reverant inside perspective on one of the historical --and most extraordinary--marriages that I admire most. Sarah Edwards' letter to her daughter upon the untimely death of her husband leaves me in tears every time...
April 4, 2012
What I appreciated about this book was how Sarah Edwards adapted herself to her husband which is our biblical calling as women. His greatness had alot of oddities which comes with the territory. I loved imagining Jonathan riding his horse while reading his book (in deep thought) with little papers attached to his clothing~flapping everywhere. What a comical sight! That is what I call serious humor! Lisa
March 19, 2014
Don't let the misappropriated title fool you (I don't know what they were thinking back in the 70's with this title?) -- This is a rich and beautiful biography of the life of Sarah Edwards and tells a love story made immortal by the singleness of heart, intellect and purpose shared by Sarah Edwards with her husband Jonathan. There is no austere puritan snobbery here--but a warm biographical story that you can treasure. I read this maybe 7 years ago and pieces of it still inspire me.
September 19, 2017
Tremendous insight into the great awakening through the personal life of Jonathan Edwards and his wife.
November 7, 2021
This was an interesting book. Not quite what I expected. I think I expected a bit more of a focus on Sarah, but it ended up being really just a chronicle of the Edwards family life? And far more focus on Jonathan Edwards than I expected, but I did not mind! This book attempts to tell the life of the Edwards from Sarah's perspective, focusing on her probable experiences and feelings as she loved and served both her husband and children. Emphasis on "probable", as we really don't have very many writings at all from Sarah's pen, so much of the book's attempts to explain Sarah is conjecture on the author's part. Still, I appreciated the descriptions of a typical household and town of that period in Massachusetts, as well as the author's clearly rigorous research into the life of the Edwards. As someone who has much enjoyed reading about Edwards before (Iain Murray's Edwards is my very favourite biography), I much appreciated this alternate angle of the tale. Sarah herself? She was a most magnificent woman from all accounts, especially as we consider the number of children she had and the work she had to do to both raise the children and run the household. She was a woman who loved her Lord deeply, even if she (as all of us) was not a perfect person and had her own doubts and fears at times. She seemed to be almost perfectly matched to Edwards, able to both complement his many skills with her own, as well as be an encouragement and a light to him during his dark moments. Reading this encouraged my soul and did nothing to dampen my own longing for such a helper and companion some day. One random note on the copy of the book I acquired. It apparently was re-published many years after the original publication date by a new editor and so new footnotes were inserted at various points to highlight areas where the new editor disagreed with the author. I found that fascinating as I'd never yet seen a book where the editor inserted footnotes to contradict the author! I honestly probably agreed with the editor on most points, but still think this was a bit odd. Oh! Also, this book had a foreword by both John and Noel Piper which was simply fantastic to read. Oh and one last note! The title of this book seems a bit needlessly sensational. Jonathan Edwards was by no means perfect, but this book did nothing to support the thesis that he was any more difficult than any other man. Of course, Edward's ministry and calling was such that trials did indeed come and they were not easy ones. So from that perspective, Sarah Edwards did have to put up with tribulations and attacks that were beyond the norm. These ponderings have spiraled quite far, but let me end this by once again stating that this book is very much worth the read, but I am also someone who loves reading about Edwards so I am a bit biased!!
March 26, 2020
“In the last minutes of his life, Edwards tried to speak. Lucy, Esther, and Dr. Shippen leaned forward. Edwards spoke in a low voice and still distinctly. The words were not about heaven or hell, or books or theories. He spoke of Sarah: ‘Give my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uncommon union which has so long subsisted between us has been of such a nature as I trust is spiritual and therefore will continue forever’” (201).
A great book and a great glimpse into the marriage and home life of a massively influential couple. The writing was a bit clunky and hard to follow at times and the final chapter should have been an epilogue, but nevertheless a truly great book about a truly great couple.
A great book and a great glimpse into the marriage and home life of a massively influential couple. The writing was a bit clunky and hard to follow at times and the final chapter should have been an epilogue, but nevertheless a truly great book about a truly great couple.
October 1, 2023
10/10 a wonderfully written bio of an intriguing couple and the legacy they left behind. Dodds includes an impressive bibliography of study and includes fascinating bits about the culture of the era. This book focuses on the dynamic between the couple (I expected a deeper study (focus) of Sarah yet I love the direction of the text).
I would recommend this to many readers:
Biography lovers, those curious about early America and the 1700s, readers of relationship and self-help books (beautiful example of a marriage well lived), those in need of advice dealing graciously with a tough parish/congregation (or just tough neighbors), those in need of encouragement about raising kids according to scripture…it’s truly a worthwhile read.
I would recommend this to many readers:
Biography lovers, those curious about early America and the 1700s, readers of relationship and self-help books (beautiful example of a marriage well lived), those in need of advice dealing graciously with a tough parish/congregation (or just tough neighbors), those in need of encouragement about raising kids according to scripture…it’s truly a worthwhile read.
August 28, 2020
Well, I liked this book so much that I began and finished it in one night, and was immensely encouraged, convicted, and entertained the whole time. While the authoress viewed Sarah’s breakdown weirdly, and doubted her motivations in an odd manner— I see no good reason to be ultra-suspicious, while also recognizing that bad motives could have been present—, the Lord’s great work through the uncommon couple was evident in the book. I’d like to be a lot more like Sarah.
(Also, was no one going to tell me that Aaron Burr was Jonathan Edward’s grandson?! I was just supposed to find out by self?! 😂)
(Also, was no one going to tell me that Aaron Burr was Jonathan Edward’s grandson?! I was just supposed to find out by self?! 😂)
October 8, 2024
We ended up with this book accidentally, and before I left it sitting on my shelf, I wanted to make sure that "difficult man" wasn't something that today we'd consider neglect or abuse.
It wasn't.
Edwards had his eccentricities, but this book--more a general biography focused on their marriage than just about their marriage--drew attention to his intentional involvement in their family and his love for, trust in, and devotion to Sarah.
I appreciated the footnotes clarifying or correcting a number of statements.
Overall, I found this an enjoyable read, but also did not find it super notable, so three stars - I liked it.
It wasn't.
Edwards had his eccentricities, but this book--more a general biography focused on their marriage than just about their marriage--drew attention to his intentional involvement in their family and his love for, trust in, and devotion to Sarah.
I appreciated the footnotes clarifying or correcting a number of statements.
Overall, I found this an enjoyable read, but also did not find it super notable, so three stars - I liked it.
June 6, 2025
Intriguing at the start but then became pretty skimable-detailing the events of the Edward’s life. Sarah role in her families success is inspiring. I was hoping to learn more about her and how she did it.
Love devotion time spent and respect for all 12 children-from Edward’s and sarah. Sarah built a foundation of love that kept the whole order in action from day to day
The first event in the lives of all the children was when their father wrote down the date of their birth in the Bible…every life within that house was entrusted, from its first hour, to the care of the One who was, they were confident, the Living God. When Edward’s choked out his last words he spoke accurately as he had always tried to do. It was truly and uncommon union
Love devotion time spent and respect for all 12 children-from Edward’s and sarah. Sarah built a foundation of love that kept the whole order in action from day to day
The first event in the lives of all the children was when their father wrote down the date of their birth in the Bible…every life within that house was entrusted, from its first hour, to the care of the One who was, they were confident, the Living God. When Edward’s choked out his last words he spoke accurately as he had always tried to do. It was truly and uncommon union
April 15, 2020
Novel was an entertaining read. Gave a brief overview of the Edwards' lives. It is difficult to imagine what the marriage between Jonathan & Sarah was like, but felt like this book gave a nice picture. It is interesting to see what type of lifestyle the Edwards had in the home. The book gave some insight onto who Sarah was as a loving wife to Jonathan, mother to 11 children, and an incredible, hospitable helpmate! How great to see how the descendants of Edwards made such an impact in American society due to the influence of these two people.
June 1, 2023
Very detailed book! It is written with what seems to be an older kind of rambling style of writing, but I am no expert.
I appreciated Dodds' enthusiasm for detailing the Edwards' life background. It made me get a wholistic view on who they were but also showed that society hasn't changed much! (Though I will admit I skipped some paragraphs that seemed irrelevant to their story for the sake of time.)
Overall I came away encouraged by the honest picture painted of Sarah Edwards and the legacy that was detailed as a result of her hard work as a wife and mom.
I appreciated Dodds' enthusiasm for detailing the Edwards' life background. It made me get a wholistic view on who they were but also showed that society hasn't changed much! (Though I will admit I skipped some paragraphs that seemed irrelevant to their story for the sake of time.)
Overall I came away encouraged by the honest picture painted of Sarah Edwards and the legacy that was detailed as a result of her hard work as a wife and mom.
August 26, 2025
Interesting story of this well-known preacher's wife and the couple's devotion to each other. Sarah Edwards was a product of her time, who carried a heavy load with the positive and negative attention her husband drew, and with having eleven children although he was often called away. The book doesn't so much emphasize that Jonathan Edwards himself was a difficult man--although he was certainly a man who stuck to his strong principles no matter the cost. The difficulty was more in the times and places they lived and the expectations and lack of education of others.
June 8, 2024
The enduring love story of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards is very refreshing and sweet from beginning to end. As serious as Jonathan was , he fell head over heels for this "young lady from New Haven." Their "uncommon union," as he called it, formed a deep relationship that endured through all the struggles they faced and was his last thought as he lay dying. This story, better than any romance novel, is a model of a Godly marriage and the benefits it can bring.
October 9, 2023
This was a helpful biographical peek into the lives of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards. The title does not seem appropriate for the book as it really focuses on the Edwards family on a wholesale level with lots of helpful historical details. This book also helped me to better understand the relational dynamics between Jonathan Edwards and his church.
September 14, 2024
I read this book in 1981 when I was expecting our second child. We chose the name Jerusha when our daughter was born. I just reread Marriage to a Difficult Man this summer and was struck again how well written it was. Elisabeth Dodds did an excellent job of telling the life story of Sarah Edwards and her very interesting family.
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